#the night is long

[elizabethplaid]

a vague, procrastinating note - march 4, 2024

I said I was gonna write an emotional essay related to laundry, and I think I'm just not. I mean, we all mourn the things we love when they wear out, right? Or we don't wash it right, and something goes wrong, and it's no longer worth wearing. It's hard for me to let go of things like that, so they often get pushed to the back of a drawer or cabinet, instead of going to the rag bin.

There's more layers to my intended essay. Different forms of grief of what was lost, what never was, what was supposed to be. And that parallels the grief I hold for myself - what I lost, what I never was, what I was supposed to be. One reminds me of the other, along with the other grief I still carry.

I'd say I last shed my "previous self" when I joined the library - 2022, so only 2 years ago. I haven't yet mourned that other "her". Part of me might fear her, fear becoming her again.

Ugh, this feels so stupid. I had to throw out 8 scrunchies today, because they were all stretched out and no longer elastic. That's what prompted this weird feeling.

The story feels too raw to say out loud, even writing it down. I might whisper it to my friend tomorrow. Bribe me with treats, who knows what I'll say. (I have been promised Beemans Gum, among other delights.)

[disorqer]

Yö on pitkä (1952)

[normal-horoscopes]

Man. You read these stories from nurses about antivaxers dying of the virus, they're just fucking brutal. Some of them die cursing the doctors, demanding to be saved. Others die regretting everything, begging for the vaccine only to be told it's too late. Most of them are just kinda dumbfounded. None of them ever thought it would happen to them.

There's no justice in it, not a shred. All it makes me feel is profound grief. Hundreds of thousands of people are dying for some fake ratings-boosting ad-farming culture war bullshit.

It's getting better, in the long run. I know it is. But it's slow, and it's a fight, and it's important to remember the cost.

[izanagyan]

does anyone have any anime recommendations? I feel like there's nothing good to watch these days

[callmebliss-got-swamped]

Girl help

I’m emotionally compromised by a video game

[lucivonm]

Everything that kills me makes me feel alive

[smith-caseys-garage]

I got some truly horrible pictures of Dragon Age: Inquisition tonight.

[miss-chanandler-bongg]

i can hear you fucking maniac, you fucking life ruiner, you gicantic asshole come bite me

[aleatoireperson]

Tonight. 

I must finish an essay about qsar 3d in analog inhibitors of P. falciparum.

...but tumblr and the internet are being tumblr and the internet.