#the only us tour they've done was one stop LA... i think it was a kcon

[roseband]

if sf9 is touring.... can n.flying before hun/jaehyun military ;~;

[therecordconnection]

Ranting and Raving: "Don't Let the Light Go Out" by Panic! at the Disco

The Ship of Theseus is a famous paradox, one that regards identity over time. The paradoxical question takes many forms, but this is the most common one: The ship goes on many voyages over time. As it continues going on, eventually all of the original parts are all replaced with new ones. At that point, one must ask, is it still the Ship of Theseus?

This paradox can be fed into Panic! at the Disco, a band that began as four people but eventually found its way to being officially made up of just one person: Brendan Urie.

Just this morning it was announced that Panic! will be breaking up at the end of their upcoming European tour in March. The news was met here on Tumblr with memes, funny jokes, and observations galore. Pete Wentz killed Panic! the same way he and Fall Out and Boy killed My Chemical Romance when they broke up in 2013. Brendan Urie finally got tired of playing Weekend at Bernie's with the name of a band that hasn't truly been a band since 2009. Ryan Ross gets to drink tonight in honor of "The Evil" being vanquished. All kinds of stuff. The #panic at the disco tag is a very fun and interesting tag to look through today.

For me, I stopped following Panic! after the Death of a Bachelor album. I still enjoy that album a lot. I thought it was a really solid, really strong project and I think that's where Panic! at the Disco could've ended. Sadly, that's not what happened. I didn't really care much for Pray For the Wicked (although I was still stuck listening to my shitty Top 40 radio station at the time that came out so I never want to hear "High Hopes" ever again) and Viva Las Vengeance was an easy album to ignore, mostly due to Urie's public reputation being completely in the toilet by then. I remember hearing the album title, thinking it was silly and dumb, and moved on to other things.

Upon hearing the news that Panic! at the Disco would finally come to an end, I decided that it would possibly be worth it to listen to what will now be the final Panic! album (but is it the last time we'll see Brendan Urie? Could a true solo career be on the horizon someday??) and see what I initially passed on and was indifferent to.

If you want quick thoughts on what I think of the entire album: it's fine. I think it's an album that's mostly unlucky and will continue to be hated mostly because of the stink of Urie's current reputation more so than the quality of the music on it. I've certainly heard much worse, but it's far from the album I would recommend to someone that wants to give Panic! at the Disco a shot. The best way I can describe it is that it's if a theatre kid tried desperately to recreate seventies rock and still feels the need to prove themselves when they've already done so. I can't recommend much, but if you want to give the album a fair shot: the title track, "Middle of a Breakup," "Sad Clown," "Do It To Death" were the ones I thought were the most okay.

The one song that stood out the most to me was "Don't Let the Light Go Out," which is track 3 on the album. It's the one that shines the brightest. It's the best song production wise, Urie sounds great (because he's singing in a normal range as opposed to trying to go for obnoxious high notes that he can't hit,) it was the strongest one lyrically, and it was the one of the only moments of the album that felt genuine. Most of Viva Las Vengeance is Urie flying like a modern Icarus using a jetpack on max speed and most of the tracks sounding like a bloated mess of hubris and overcompensating.

Lyrically, the song is about a relationship ending, using visiting someone in critical condition in the hospital as a metaphor for said relationship dying.

Stare at a wall that's told a thousand tragedies Holding a hand that's loved every part of me A lady comes and tells me that I got to leave

It's not a terrible idea for a song, but when I listened to this song for the first time, it wasn't the death of a romantic relationship that was on my mind. No, the dying relationship that was on my mind was Brendan Urie's relationship with the "Panic! at the Disco" brand ending (it's more apt to call it a "brand" at this point.) If Viva Las Vengeance is going to be re-evaluated, I imagine the songs will be looked at through the lens that I'm looking at this song right now: Seeing the connections between the lyrics and the death of Panic! at the Disco.

The next set of lyrics continue the metaphor of visiting someone in critical condition:

Deep breaths from the room where I watch you lie Any beat from your heart gets me through the night You're my love, you're my death, you're my alibi Say this isn't goodbye

The entire time I've listened to this song, I don't picture a person when I hear "you," I only think of Urie talking to the concept of Panic!. It's not hard to view it this way, especially when you have fans that have been saying Urie has been playing Weekend at Bernie's with the band's corpse for years or that he's the one person that has the power to pull the band's name off of life support and won't do it (until today, of course.)

This song, above all the others, felt the most genuine to me. It's the song with the least amount of theatrics and tricks. It's the one moment on the album where Urie sounds and feels... lost. Like he's gone too far and doesn't know where else to go. I keep asking myself, "If Panic! at the Disco ends, what becomes of Brendan Urie?" What identity do you have when you've been wearing a different one for so long? What do you do when you finally pull the plug on the only thing you've known for the last nineteen years?

Who's gonna drive me home tonight? Who's going to argue 'til they win the fight? You're the only one that knows how to operate My heavy machinery

The post chorus is just the title of the song repeated four times: "Don't let the light go out." I imagine Urie has been repeating this phrase to himself for years now. He probably said it when Spencer Smith was gone, when Ryan Ross was gone, when Dallon Weekes was gone, when all but him were gone from the picture. Urie doesn't strike me as a man who looks backwards, only forwards. "Don't let the light go out" sounds desperate. It sounds like someone who has no idea where they're going, but they know they have to keep moving. They'll figure it out eventually... right?

It's the most genuine and most human moment on the entire album for me. Those six words. "Don't let the light go out." It feels especially human because it's sung by a singer who at only thirty-five sounds fried. I mean, fried. My man's upper register sounds cracked and hurting and you can really hear it on this song and throughout the album. The title track and "Sad Clown" are the two songs where this is most evident. Urie tries (and fails) to hit notes that are way beyond reach for him and they're borderline painful to hear ("Sad Clown" is an apt title for that song... I'll leave it at that.) It's the best song on the album and it's a sad, but fitting end to the Panic! story. It's a good representation of the final days of a brand coming to an unceremonious end.

Panic! at the Disco is something that I think deserves to die and I'm happy to see it die. It needs to enter the backburner of history and hopefully time will be kind to the golden years left behind. Panic! at the Disco's death was slow and agonizing and Viva Las Vengeance is the album you get when you have an artist that refuses to let something come to a natural conclusion. When you have an artist who feels so fucking committed to trying to prove that they were the whole of something great rather than one of the parts that made it great, you get Viva Las Vengeance. The story of Panic! at the Disco is akin to growing up with a dear friend and then watching them be involved in a serious car crash after the best day ever. Then you have to see them cling to life and be hooked up to several machines. Doctors and nurses and surgeons keep them alive when all you want to do is run into the room and pull the plug and stop the pain from continuing.

"It's been a hell of a journey," is how Brendan Urie described the end of the brand. Yes it has, though with the way people have reacted to the news of Panic! at the Disco's demise, you would think Queen Elizabeth came back to life and died again. There's going to be a healthy stream of memes and jokes and ridicule and it's all deserved and it's all Brendan Urie's fault. When you refuse to let something die, eventually people want to go in and kill it for you. My only hope is that people prop up their golden years (A Fever You Can't Sweat Out through Too Rare to Live, Too Weird to Die) and remember that stuff. Maybe I'm biased because my friends and I grew up with the music, but I genuinely think that stuff deserves to stick around because of happy memories associated with it. Too Rare to Live, Too Weird to Die is still one of my favorite albums of the 2010s and my friends and I still have plenty of Panic! songs we're gonna continue to love into the future. I wouldn't have wanted Panic! at the Disco to die this way, but I can say I'm happy it's master finally decided it was time to put it to rest. It deserves to rest peacefully and hopefully (knock on wood) it will forever. If I had to eulogize Panic!, "This Is Gospel" is how I want to do it:

This is Gospel for the fallen ones Locked away in permanent slumber Assembling their philosophies From pieces of broken memories

[k-renne]

Ok, I got another idea for floof from An's request haha. What if it was the other way around and Kylo is trying to be domestic for reader after they've moved in together and he attempts to make her favorite foods? Like it's so out of his element but he wants to show her how much he loves her and so he tries it out.

More floof! More floof! I really love these, they’re so much fun to write. Consider it the prequel to the last one, also I kinda went all out lol

It was just a few weeks after you had moved in with Kylo and he had never thought that he could ever be this happy in his life. It was something that he wanted with you since the very beginning of your relationship, being with you just a little bit made him want to spend all of his time with you.

On his commute to work he began reflecting on his time with you, and how it all started. He met you on a business trip, deciding to venture out of the confines of his hotel for once. That’s when he met you, well it was more like he ran into you.

It was your day off and you decided to visit your local art museum, full of great paintings and pictures, it was a fun place to walk around in and while living here you wanted to take advantage of your membership as often as you could. You didn’t mind being by yourself, it gave you more room to think, but you couldn’t help but observe the couples on their date. You always thought that this would be a great place to take someone, unfortunately you never had the chance to.

Kylo admired the artwork, though he felt very out of place here. Dressed in a suit and tie, he didn’t exactly look like the artsy type. More so people tended to  naturally stare at his tall form, he was just intimidating in that way. He just thought he was funny looking, he didn’t fully realize the affect he had on people. He didn’t know exactly why people were afraid of him but he did know it had always been this way, as long as he could remember.

His boss said that he was extremely ‘naturally talented’, encouraged him to delve deeper into his work to an obsessive extent. His nature allowed him to close deals, work long hours, and succeed in this power exchange. He enjoyed the invigorating feeling of closing a deal, it was like winning a battle. He liked to win, but now he couldn’t help but feel that with his job he was becoming increasingly isolated from people. More than he already was.  

That’s why he felt so out of place, everybody here seemed to have somebody, except for him.

You notice the man immediately when he enters the room, he’s so big that it’s impossible to miss. And he’s dressed so nicely, you wondered what type of person would visit a museum in a three piece suit. Maybe he had come from his job. You noticed that he was walking up to look at your favorite painting. This was your opportunity to strike up a conversation, find out more about this man.

“That’s one of my favorite paintings, La Japonaise, a social commentary on France’s appropriation Japanese culture by Monet,” You comment.

Kylo only notices you when you start speaking, deep in thought. Where did you come from? And you were by yourself too, had willingly walked up to him. He looked over to you, almost in awe of you.

You look up to the man, he doesn’t say anything but he has this look on his face. No one had ever looked at you like that before, and was he blushing? Because he’s now openly staring, you take the opportunity to stare back, observe him up close like one of the paintings. His features were striking, he had an amazing profile. The little moles and freckles that dotted his very serious visage made you slightly smile.

Kylo can’t help it, right now he was thinking that this was probably the prettiest girl that he had ever seen. Normally he didn’t care much, he wasn’t sex obsessed or very driven to form relationships. Maybe it was the way that your lips curled into a small smile but for probably the first time in his life Kylo was blushing

You and the stranger stared at each other for a good minute, before you finally decided to introduce yourself. “I’m Y/N,” You put out your hand. He took it gladly, ”I’m Kylo,” He introduced.

“Say Kylo, do you want me to give you a tour? I know this museum pretty well, and afterwards we could get lunch,” You offer. Maybe you were going out on a limb asking him on a date, but you felt like if you didn’t do it know you’d lose your chance forever.

Of course Kylo agreed, and soon one date turned into many more. He didn’t live in the area but he tried to make it there every weekend that he could, video chatting with you regularly and sending you things that he thought you might want. You get a job in the city he lives in and that’s when he invites you to move in with him.

It takes some time for Kylo to get used to living with someone else, even if it was his favorite person. Now he has something to look forward to when he gets home, someone that keeps him from working overtime all the time.

He loves the little things the most, brushing his teeth next to you in the morning, planning dinner together, watching you get ready, and giving you a chaste kiss before you leave. He was so thankful for it all.

This is why he was trying his hardest to cook dinner for you tonight, because although he was very helpful you usually did more of the cooking. He didn’t need to learn how so he never had, but if he thought you would like it, he was going to do it. He was going to make your favorite foods even if it killed him.

This is the circumstance that you find Kylo in when you get home, kitchen counters covered in a mess of dirt pots and bowls. His hair was tied back messily and he was wearing your apron that was too small for him, it was quite the sight.

“Kylo, what are you doing?” You asked, giggling at his flustered jumbling about the kitchen. He had tried to cook before but he had never really done it on his own before.

“Uhh nothing,” He lies, moving in front of the kitchen to try and hide it from you.

“It doesn’t look like nothing, do you need my help?” You ask, worried that he might hurt himself.

“No, just go to your room or something, stay away from the kitchen,” He says, slowly backing you towards the hallway.

“Alright, if you need any help just call me,” You offer. You’ll let him have this one, you could tell he was trying to do something nice for you anyways.

You can’t help but listen in, laughing when he curses and stopping yourself from rushing to him when it sounds like he’s in trouble. It was cute that he was trying to cook without your help, this time you’d leave him be even though he still had a lot to learn. And it was so sweet that you didn’t want to ruin it or discourage him.

“Y/N,” Kylo calls your name, he was finally satisfied with his work. You come, expecting him to be asking for help but you gasp when you see a completely clean kitchen and a nice looking dinner on the table for the two of you.

“Honey! You did such a great job, I’m so proud of you,” You praise.

“Don’t say that until after you finish eating,” He points out.

“I think it looks great, don’t be so hard on yourself,” You chastise him. He pulls up a chair for you to sit down and gives you something to drink. He watches as you take your first bite, anticipating what you might say, good or bad.

“Kylo, this is perfect, just how I like it! Not too salty, perfect temperature, it’s really good,” You compliment. Kylo visibly breathes a sigh of relief, happy that you like what he made.

“You didn’t have to go through the trouble of making all of this either, thank you so much,” You express your gratitude.

“You know I’d give you the moon if I could princess, you make me happy,” He admits. You get up to give him a soft kiss, and he pulls you into his lap.

“Why don’t I feed you dinner Y/N?” He suggests, mischief in his grin. He holds you against him and nuzzles his nose against your cheek, showing his affection.

“Okay, I’ll let you try, but if it gets annoying you better stop,” You warn. Kylo chuckles before sliding over your plate and a fork. It feels kind of silly to have someone else put a fork of food in your mouth. But it’s also another level of intimacy with him and you love leaning against his chest. You finish dinner, full and satisfied.

“Ugh, I don’t want to move,” You groan.

“I’ll carry you, we can go cuddle in bed for a bit,” He hums. You let him carry you to the bed where he plops you down and takes his place besides you, pulling the covers over you and entangling his limbs with yours. God you were really turning him into a sap.