#the pain is esp bad today lol the long lasting consequence of not being alert to my own needs will not haunt me I'm sure
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computer loading up disco esylium and then not at all
#🗿 main hand is out of commission bc of ....a thumb sprain? it's three pinballs stacked up on each other rn#as emotionally and mentally unavailable as ever so. video game#my left hand has bore the brunt of multiple conditions this past year lmfao I just realized my right hand has experienced little#pristine as shit. meanwhile I have a burn condition and skin condition and a sprain on its twin#the pain is esp bad today lol the long lasting consequence of not being alert to my own needs will not haunt me I'm sure#😔#feeling like a real failure of a motherfucker. did not want to tell ppl around me who could help me bc they're are so infantilizing rn#it's like. you can't help ppl unless u treat them like a biomedical patient or a kid and we KNOW that means to be treated like#unreliable narrators and blank slates and ignoramus prime#i don't want your help! lol! you just can't resist playing God and showing off that benevolence!#anyways I've been sitting here with the stagnant loading screen for a minute and the laptop finally asked if it could close it now lol it's#not responding and I'm close it and on the steam page it registered 18min playtime.#i wish!!!!#soy talks shit
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