#the pitchman’s joy pitch

[la-modpoetess]

“I know how to tell a lie convincingly. The truth is, poetry is a truth resembling a lie. Hallelujah. I've seen it all.” - The Pitchman’s Joy Pitch, Ama Codjoe

Between the truth and the lie

Is the story we want to hear

The one that makes us feel better

Or confirms why we feel bad

Not many want the truth unvarnished

Most prefer a sweet tale

At least for a while

But in the end, the truth is felt

It peeks through embellishments

It connects, even as it cuts

The truth is I can lie convincingly

And so can you

But you and I both know that the only lie we will stand for

Is a story that doesn't end

Because at least then

There's always a chance for nuggets of truth

[oldguy56-world]

After the Gold Rush

I hate to see people lose their jobs, especially seniors that have no perceptible job skills and lack the personality to get through a job interview. This is the dilemma that one Donald J Trump is facing, and why he is fighting so hard to keep his current job. His future prospects are dim at best. But there is hope! I have taken pity on the man and to assist him in his transition (sorry, poor choice of words) to a new position, i have searched numerous job find sites, and have put together a menu of current openings that I believe he could handle.

- Walmart greeter. He fits the demographic they are looking for, and the orange hue of his skin color would go nicely with the blue vests he would have to wear. This job could last until he opens his mouth and says something to the customers.

- A human Pinata. don’t expect candy to come out, but think of the joy that comes from repeatedly whacking him with a stick. Hours of fun for the entire family.

- Russian Ambassador to the U.S. He goes to his friend Vlad and asks to be  made a Russian citizen. Then he stays in the states with diplomatic immunity so that if, by chance, he did something wrong in the past he cannot be charged. This all hinges on Putin answering the phone when it rings and acknowledging he knows who is on the other end.

- Weatherman. He can be wrong most of the time and that is accepted in this job. He also has previous experience creating weather maps.

- Pitchman for Clorox. He would actually be paid to pitch the uses of this product.

- Clown. A job that actually terrifies a lot of people. Right up his alley. Minimal (if any) cost for makeup. He would be paid to go to parties and scare kids and adults alike.

- Collaborate on a dictionary to define the words he has said in his speeches. This would have great historical significance.

- A teacher. He loves to educate people on things they did not know before listening to him. Specialties would include English, Geography and Math. Oh yeah can’t forget Chemistry, Medicine, Law and Social studies. He has it all in that vast brain of his.

- Magician. He is an expert on how to make things disappear. Values, decency, money and loyalty.

- Librarian. His affinity for books would come in handy. I checked it out and every prison needs one. Opportunities galore.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK: When you live on the edge, it doesn’t take much to make you fall off of it.

[racingtoaredlight]

Closing Bell: On This Day - June 26th

1944 - At the Polo Grounds with over 50,000 fans looking on, the New York major league teams face each other in a six inning three-team game (a team played consecutive innings against the other two teams then sat out an inning) to raise money for war bonds. The charity contest, billed as the Tri-Cornered Baseball Game, ends with the final score of Dodgers 5, Yankees 1, Giants 0.

I think I understand how the three team game worked but I’ll still picture it in my head as being chaos akin to the great game of the forest, Whack-Bat.

1963 - The Colt .45's snap their streak of 30 consecutive innings without scoring a run when Al Spangler goes deep in the sixth frame of a 7-2 victory over Milwaukee. The Houston outfielder's round-tripper is only the second run the team has scored in the last 70 innings.

A parched, barely conscious Billy Dee Williams was then given his first sip of Colt 45 in days, instantly reviving him. The actor and celebrity pitchman had begun a Colt 45 strike in solidarity with his struggling club, vowing not to have another sip until the boys felt the joy of scoring a run.

1977 - Pete Vukovich pitches the first shutout in Blue Jay history, blanking Baltimore at Memorial Stadium, 2-0. The victory also marks the 24 year-old's first scoreless complete contest, a feat he will accomplish eight times during his 11-year career.

Yeah well when that guy sneezes he still looks like a party favor.

2001 - Not known for being a base thief during his playing days, Pittsburgh manager Lloyd McClendon steals first base when he is ejected in the seventh frame for arguing a close play in the team's eventual 7-6, 12 inning come-from-behind victory over Milwaukee at PNC Park. "I told him (first base ump Rick Reed) he wasn't using it, so I thought I'd take it," explains the Bucs' skipper after pulling the bag out of the ground and carrying it into the Pirates' dugout.

I don’t know why I was watching a game between the Pirates and Brewers in June of 2001 but I remember seeing this and since I flipped away towards the end of the Malice in the Palace game late, missing the fight, this is the greatest sports moment I ever witness live on television. Bravo Lloyd, bravo.