#the point is it functions and i'm gonna focus on the fic part now

[nexadarling]

I'm doing it, I did it! I officially have a place to never shut the fuck up about fic the way it deserves let's gooooooooooo!!!!!

This blog is under construction!

I am working really hard to bring you all my favorite fics, including plenty that I haven't had the time/space to add onto my previous rec lists over on my personal blog. That being said, I am a bit of a perfectionist, and there's no way to batch move everything, which means the process is a bit tedious.

At the moment, I have ensured that there's a working theme and functional tagging system, although I'm not entirely pleased/finished with the latter. I want to focus on getting more fics up now that there's a structure though, so expect changes to the tagging and navigation system in the next month or so.

While I'm working on posting all the fics I currently have backlogged, my AO3 Bookmark Collection is up to date, and will continue to be the place where I catalogue every fic I plan to share. I always pull from my bookmarks, so everything I post will live there first.

I also have submissions open, so if you have a fic you want to share (whether you have written it, or simply enjoy it as a reader), please feel free to send it in! Asks are open as well, so if you need help finding a specific fic, want to request a general vibe/topic/ect., I'd be more than happy to help! If you submit a fic and I don't post it, it's likely it's already pending in my bookmarks, and I will add it myself soon. I'll always post author submissions though, because I want y'all to be proud of your work!!

Suggestions for how to improve the structure of the blog and tags are also welcome, and you are can message those to me separately.

Lastly, I want this to be a place to celebrate all Trigun fics and authors! That means that, while the fics I read and post have a large lean towards Vashwood (due to the insane brainrot they have over me), that is by no means the only thing allowed. Please don't hesitate to submit or ask for fics with other topics, including ones that don't involve Vash or Wolfwood at all. I just wanted it to be clear that the primary focus would be Vashwood, based on what I read. All I ask is that you include the appropriate cw/tw to your submissions.

[drdemonprince]

A bit late to the party and a tad bit longer than planned(sorry), but I dream of programming my own living sex toy.

We would be roommates, my flat (that's the most unrealistic thing about the scenario right here lol) that I rent very cheap near a college so I can pick the hottest person applying, ideally a new student so no family or friends here. Once they move in I slowly start manipulating them. Playing hypno audios when they sleep, putting light aphrodisiacs in their food, gaslighting them on progressively bigger things to get them relying on me more and more.

I want to pretend to be their friend and have long talks where I slowly convince them that their family is abusive and they should cut contact. It would be easy considering I am already blasting them on many other fronts and at that point they would be too stressed trying to keep up with college, while becoming too dumb and horny to offer much resistance. I hope they do though just so I can stop the argument via hypnotically dropping them and leaving them more untethered and confused than before. I actually want them to freak out while we fuck so I can stop, keep my cock in them and see how the ,by then intense, programming slowly pulls them under again and they start rocking into it. Actively see the fight disappear.

Once it is in deep the actual toy part begins. I want to programm certain settings into it so via simple triggers I can have it switch between modes. Sometimes I would want an actual doll, no ability to move themselves, sometimes a puppy desperate to be filled, maybe even allow it some higher function back so I can have it work when I don't need it.

The power of having someone utterly under my control is the obvious kink here but far hotter to me would be the knowledge that it was involuntary and that I programmed it. The ensuing sex isn't the main focus. I would want the toy to respond like it's enjoyable, seeing it in pain sparks no joy, the hotness comes from knowing it only enjoys it because I programmed it like that.

That's why I want to be able to sometimes "reset" it only to pull it down again. That moment in it's eyes when it glides into trance would be the hottest thing ever. I would always want it to feel pleasure, the catch being that the pleasure wouldn't be there without my programming. Also the thought of a hypersensitive toy coming simply from pleasuring me or me telling it to come is hot.

This is also why I won't look for a CNC partner for now. Having an actual human involved that could resist and judge takes away a lot of the appeal. My main source of shame isn't wanting to corrupt, it's wanting to have an actual human following my every command and order instead of having a partner I share equal responsibility with and of whom I take care when they need it (instead of putting a dildo in them and storing them away when useful). That said I actually want that equal living together too, I would just not have sex with that person, because vanilla sex holds no appeal to me and I actually do care about consent IRL.

Sadly I have a hard time finding good hentai or comics where the main focus is the corruption itself not the fucking afterwards but I make do.

Anyways, thanks for letting us share these things. Some of the other asks that were sent in were incredibly hot and it was nice actually writing my fantasies down for the first time and claiming them as mine, not just a fic I wrote as a prompt.

ANON YOU ARE KILLING ME THIS IS THE HOTTEST SHIT EVER. this is one of my top fantasies. and largely what some of my favorite hypno erotica that i've written is about. i wanna live this scenario for real. this is why i'm saving for an early retirement dog. so i can be someone's brainwashed live in hole. hit me up when you are emotionally prepared to be a 24/7 sadistic owner for real

okay. im gonna compose myself. thank you for sharing. but seriously call me

[gardenerian]

in this post https://www.tumblr.com/gardenerian/706641891291217920/mel-i-am-wondering-when-you-think-ian-told-mickey?source=share you said you wanted a reminder to talk about how depressed ian was in s6 !!! I'd love to read it if you wanna sound off about it!!!!

hey there 💓 you sent this days ago and i have had a time with it - thanks for being patient.

i originally wrote this as an episode-by-episode breakdown like my s8 meta, but it stopped making sense and honestly kinda bummed me out asdkfh so instead, i'm gonna talk about a couple of things that are going on for ian in s6. if you wanna talk about any specific episodes or moments, lmk and we can definitely dive in.

i namely want to get into what mania can do to the brain, what recovery looks like, and how depression manifests in the process. i think these things are under-explored in shameless - and talking out some shameless misconceptions is something i've been thinking a lot about lately.

and so, onwards:

standard disclaimer that i am neither a doctor nor an expert, just a sick person who gets sick. i've done some reading and listening, but others can speak to this a lot better than i can. anyone else is welcome to chime in.

i guess we should begin by pointing out how soon s6 picks up after 5x12. it’s been what? weeks? debs is just confirming her pregnancy, so it hasn’t been too long - but long enough for carl to have spent some time in juvie.

so let’s recap on the last year or so of ian’s life:

manic episode -> depressive episode -> manic episode with psychosis -> hospitalization -> attempt at medication -> arrest -> implosion of personal life and break up -> now we’re at a kind of baseline depression

and that’s where we find him in s6. and i think it’s important to understand what ian’s been through in the lead up to this - not just situationally, but what his mind has literally just been through. 

what goes up must come down, yeah? ian spent much of the previous two seasons manic as all get out. his brain has really been through the wringer. studies show that bipolar disorder may cause physical changes to brain over time, and functional abnormalities during episodes. 

there are also studies that argue that bipolar can cause accelerated decrease of grey matter in the brain - which impacts physical coordination and motor skills, memory, and emotional regulation. there are degenerative health effects associated with illnesses like bipolar. untreated bipolar get worse with each each sequential episode.

this is not to say that ian is suffering from these longterm effects a year into his illness, but his brain has really gone through it. there is more to recover from than just the situational consequences. there’s a physical and neurological recovery as well. severe episodes like ian’s (untreated manic episodes can last 3-6 months) estimate about a 12-18 month recovery. 

and there’s a lot involved in this. it’s medication and vitamins, exercise, vitamin d. it’s financial recovery. rebuilding relationships. confidence. a sense of self and purpose. picking up the pieces of what the episode left in its wake. 

but it’s also cognitive recovery. working on memory, executive function, focus, sleep. i think a lot of people look at ian in s6 and think that the depression largely stems from the breakup and the diagnosis - i see a lot of fics that have ian realizing “what he’s done” with mickey after the meds kick in, and that’s what sends him off on this depressive mood we see. 

and of course that’s part of it. regret and shame are awful things to face. and there is a grief that accompanies recovery. you’re mourning your health, your plans, the future you thought you were building. 

and in a lot of ways, you end up mourning the mania itself - the ideas you had, the power you felt. it can feel like nothing will make you truly special or worthy again. and so you get depressed. it’s all over, and what’s left? what now?

the depression also comes from the ways we are all forced to define recovery. when do you get to declare yourself recovered, and what do you have to achieve first? what are the indicators of progress? for ian, i think the depression deepens when it comes to this aspect of the timeline. there’s no such thing as just bouncing back from an episode like that - and it’s so much more intricate than just rebuilding the social and practical aspects of his life. 

routine is good for us but it’s also boring sometimes. recovery is boring sometimes. when you’ve been going and moving and acting - the monotony of healing can be infuriating. i think ian definitely deals with this. when the progress is slow and largely internal, it can seem like we’re just stagnant. it feels awful. ian is lost, even as he heals. 

there are other studies that argue that existing scales and rating systems for bipolar depression can fail to capture the nuances of bp lows. this is because they are skewed towards unipolar depression (or MDD). so when we talk about bipolar depression, it’s important to really understand what we’re saying - we need to take into account the possible polarity changes within a single episode, we need to remember the greater mood variability. 

i think shameless skewed the fandom perception of what bipolar depression looks like. the first lows we see - monica in s2 and ian in s4 - show us catatonic characters completely unable to function. ian just seemingly wakes up that way. they don’t see it coming. 

and that happens. of course it does. other studies suggest that bipolar depressions might be shorter, but they are quicker to onset and have greater frequency than MDD. but that’s not the whole picture - and i think we do ian a disservice by glossing over the nuances of his experience and recovery. 

there are also cognitive troubles associated with depression that can only be compounded by those associated with mania and medication. it’s all of this that makes ian’s s6 story so remarkable. but it’s those s6 episodes that show us how deep it can settle in the bones, how tiring it is to exist, drifting from recovery milestone to recovery milestone - and then, before you know it, you’re blinking awake a little easier. thinking a little clearer. quicker, sharper. with something to fight for. a life to look forward to ❤️

[out-of-this-dimension]

I'm sorry if you've already talked about this before, but how far do you think Krystal's powers go?

No apologies necessary-- I LOVE talking about my favorite blue gal.

From a game perspective, Adventures mentions that she can channel magic power, even power that’s not really hers (she does this with the Krazoa throughout the game).  Andross’s whole plan hinges on the fact that Krystal can do this-- though it seems that the process itself was draining Krystal’s life force (though that’s probably because of the crystal she’s trapped in?  Or maybe the amount of power she was having to channel, idk).  (I might actually make a post about how this entire thing works because it’s really confusing and I’m not sure I wholly understand all of Krystal’s part in his master scheme myself.) So we can check “conduit” off the list-- I’m not sure what else to call that particular power but that’s what I’m going with.

Adventures also shows the possibility that she can implant telepathic messages into her staff-- although at a glance while it appears Krystal is doing that, part of me wonders how much of it is the staff doing the telepathy, not Krystal.  We already know the staff can choose people and the staff has a way of sensing magic caves nearby.  I’m not sure Krystal actually did much.  Maybe the staff has a voice recording feature to it that Fox just doesn’t know about?  We’ll... tentatively count this towards telepathy regardless.  I already did a small post on the staff (on my personal blog before I even made this blog) that can be found here .

Assault formally introduces Krystal as a telepath-- which from a meta perspective is supposed to function in lieu of Peppy’s boss battle tips in gameplay and from a meta/development/lore perspective was probably something Bandai decided to add into Krystal’s character because they saw that she already had the channeling power and probably telepathy a la staff recording message. So they decided to slap a name to it and expand upon it. Interestingly enough, despite being just a telepath, Krystal seems to be able to detect weak points and incoming enemy waves.  Now, we don’t really know if she’s hearing thoughts from enemies such as “Ah yisss, we’re about to get the jump on them!” or “Oh crap oh crap, I hope they don’t hit this Very Obvious and Clear Glowing Weak Point”, but given that a good portion of the enemies you face in Assault don’t seem to have much intelligent thought... ehhhh, I would say it’s entirely possible that she isn’t limited to just scanning people’s thoughts but also scanning their physical body via metaphysical means (it’s kind of hard to put into words-- maybe just like “sensing” what is a weak point). The thing is, even in Assault, they keep her powers still kind of vague so it’s hard to tell.

From the perspective of me as a person writing fics-  I tend to view Krystal not purely as a telepath but also an empath.  I do have a fic planned out where she deep dives into someone’s mind (not gonna say who but I’m hyped to write it) but such an endeavor would be something she would be unable to do on the fly, so to speak. Something like that would need a lot of energy and probably would have to be Krystal’s sole focus (meaning she couldn’t do this and pilot an Arwing at the same time).  I think her telepathy could go as far as digging into memories but I think the deeper you go, the more concentration/energy you would need to have.  So really?  Her powers go as far as she can physically withstand them to go.  And I would imagine there’s ways to replenish her magic, in maybe a similar way that you can replenish her staff’s magic meter.

I don’t really consider the staff’s abilities to be part of Krystal’s powers so I won’t list them here.  As far as I know (because nothing contradicts this yet in the series), magic in Star Fox works as it does in what we know of Dinosaur Planet (the game--not the planet itself) where anyone can seemingly do it with practice and knowledge.  That would be why Fox could pick up the staff and do magic things with it.

tl;dr here’s my list based off the games/my own personal headcanons (the ** denotes a mostly headcanon one):

Channel outside magic power 

Telepathy -- From as simple as reading current thoughts to as deep as meditating and breaking into a person’s mind.

Empath** -- Feeling/sensing people’s emotions in a deeper way than most.

Sensing** -- Being able to detect things about -insert any given object- like a weakness or a strength.

One thing I haven’t explored fully myself is how Krystal would use these powers... as Kursed.  But I’ve been poking at the idea for the past few days and some of the ideas I’ve had have been... welp.  I may have been inspired to write them down for future fic ideas.

WHEW this one turned out to be long.  Sorry for talking your ear off!

[aewinning]

Hey you!!! Long time no chatting (uni is still kicking my ass, possibly harder than last time) it's me, the anon who begged for the scara/tighnari maintenance fic (tbh i still brag about that, it was an AMAZING fic). I just read "A Certain Dreamlike Quality"!!! Fucking chef's kiss. Very very nice. Lovely concept as usual. And Kavetham felt even more in character than ever. I really really liked the comment about Kaveh treating Alhaitham's granny's journals with care, it was very sweet. And i also started thinking about that whole porn trade in Port Osmos. Like yeah it makes sense, Teyvat SHOULD have pornography. Probably not what u wanted the reader to focus on but it did seem like a nice subtle world-building element. Either way, really good work!!! Also ur gonna get Baizhu soon!! I think i remember u being excited about him finally being playable. If im mistaken then sorry lol. Im saving up for kaveh. Anyways have a nice day!!! Looking forward to more delicious writing!! 🤗

Hello hello! Welcome back and I hope university eases up on you soon! Thank you for the kind comment and I'm glad you enjoyed the fic, it was so much fun to write. I do hope to do more for them at some point especially after Kaveh's profile/lore drops, but right now I'm working on getting out the third fic in my Baizhu/Childe/Zhongli series haha.

I did spend a lot of time figuring out where Alhaitham would go for sex research of the places we've been, lol. I probably thought about it TOO much, to be honest. My thoughts:

Mondstadt probably has plenty of naughty content, being as open as it is, likely in poem or novel form for the most part? Liyue probably has more traditional erotic paintings and a few instruction manuals, often in less savory sales stalls off the main street (like under the docks).

Same for Inazuma, though it may not be an art form that's flourished while Inazuma was in the grip of so many decrees. I bet it's about to undergo a renaissance though, with the loosening of restrictions and resumption of imports. And Sumeru...the Akademiya probably has some dry old books on sex from people that have never had it, focusing on anatomy, but I imagine Port Ormos the party town probably had quite the fun knowledge capsules when the Akasha was functioning, haha.

Fontaine is probably about 5 years out from filming the first adult movie. idk about Natlan's current status due to the game's allergy to giving us Natlan lore, but Snezhnayans probably pass dirty mags around the barracks and give each other handies to keep warm. And you KNOW there are a lot of pinups that look suspiciously like the Harbingers, lmao.

You are also correct that I am hella looking forward to Baizhu! He's who I've most looked forward to ever since I met him when I started playing in 1.3. Two years of waiting! I have about 360 wishes saved for next patch and unfortunately I want Nahida, Nilou, Baizhu, AND Kaveh, but the good news is that I'm 40ish into pity on a guarantee right now. I may decide to skip Nilou in favor of going for Baizhu's weapon, we'll see. I refuse to go below 180 pulls before his banner, he WILL come home one way or another.

Good luck on your own Kaveh pulls when the time comes! He looks like a really fun unit and I'm planning on triple crowning him myself b/c babygirl deserves to be treated just as well as Alhaitham even if he's not a 5 star. (Which will make...4 dendro guys triple crowned for me. Send help, I have an addiction.)