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realitista · 4 years

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It may be a cult, but we should know what they want.

Conservatism (big C) has always had one goal and little c general conservatism is a myth. Conservatism has the singular goal of maintaining an aristocracy that inherits political power and pushing others down to create an under class. In support of that is a morality based on a person’s inherent status as good or bad - not actions. Of course the thing that determines if someone is good or bad is whether they inhabit the aristocracy.

Another way, Conservatives - those who wish to maintain a class system - assign moral value to people and not actions. Those not in the aristocracy are immoral and deserve punishment.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4CI2vk3ugk

https://pages.gseis.ucla.edu/faculty/agre/conservatism.html

Part of this is posted a lot: https://crookedtimber.org/2018/03/21/liberals-against-progressives/#comment-729288 I like the concept of Conservatism vs. anything else.

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A Bush speech writer takes the assertion for granted: It's all about the upper class vs. democracy. https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2017/06/why-do-democracies-fail/530949/ “Democracy fails when the Elites are overly shorn of power.”

Read here: https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/conservatism/ and here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conservatism#History and see that all of the major thought leaders in Conservatism have always opposed one specific change (democracy at the expense of aristocratic power). At some point non-Conservative intellectuals and/or lying Conservatives tried to apply the arguments of conservatism to generalized “change.”

The philosophic definition of something shouldn't be created by only adherents, but also critics, - and the Stanford page (despite taking pains to justify small c conservatism) includes criticisms - so we can conclude generalized conservatism (small c) is a myth at best and a Trojan Horse at worst.

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Incase you don’t want to read the David Frum piece here is a highlight that democracy only exists at the leisure of the elite represented by Conservatism.

>The most crucial variable predicting the success of a democratic transition is the self-confidence of the incumbent elites. If they feel able to compete under democratic conditions, they will accept democracy. If they do not, they will not.

And the single thing that most accurately predicts elite self-confidence, as Ziblatt marshals powerful statistical and electoral evidence to argue, is the ability to build an effective, competitive conservative political party before the transition to democracy occurs.

Conservatism, manifest as a political party is simply the effort of the Elites to maintain their privileged status. One prior attempt at rebuttal blocked me when we got to: why is it that specifically Conservative parties align with the interests of the Elite?

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There is a key difference between conservatives and others that is often overlooked. For liberals, actions are good, bad, moral, etc and people are judged based on their actions. For Conservatives, people are good, bad, moral, etc and the status of the person is what dictates how an action is viewed.

In the world view of the actual Conservative leadership - those with true wealth or political power - , the aristocracy is moral by definition and the working class is immoral by definition and deserving of punishment for that immorality. This is where the laws don't apply trope comes from or all you’ll often see “rules for thee and not for me.” The aristocracy doesn't need laws since they are inherently moral. Consider the divinely ordained king: he can do no wrong because he is king, because he is king at God’s behest. The anti-poor aristocratic elite still feel that way.

This is also why people can be wealthy and looked down on: if Bill Gates tries to help the poor or improve worker rights too much he is working against the aristocracy.

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If we extend analysis to the voter base: conservative voters view other conservative voters as moral and good by the state of being labeled conservative because they adhere to status morality and social classes. It's the ultimate virtue signaling. They signal to each other that they are inherently moral. It’s why voter base conservatives think “so what” whenever any of these assholes do nasty anti democratic things. It’s why Christians seem to ignore Christ.

While a liberal would see a fair or moral or immoral action and judge the person undertaking the action, a conservative sees a fair or good person and applies the fair status to the action. To the conservative, a conservative who did something illegal or something that would be bad on the part of someone else - must have been doing good. Simply because they can’t do bad.

To them Donald Trump is inherently a good person as a member of the aristocracy. The conservative isn’t lying or being a hypocrite or even being "unfair" because - and this is key - for conservatives past actions have no bearing on current actions and current actions have no bearing on future actions so long as the aristocracy is being protected. Lindsey Graham is "good" so he says to delay SCOTUS confirmations that is good. When he says to move forward: that is good.

To reiterate: All that matters to conservatives is the intrinsic moral state of the actor (and the intrinsic moral state that matters is being part of the aristocracy). Obama was intrinsically immoral and therefore any action on his part was “bad.” Going further - Trump, or the media rebranding we call Mitt Romney, or Moscow Mitch are all intrinsically moral and therefore they can’t do “bad” things. The one bad thing they can do is betray the class system.

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The consequences of the central goal of conservatism and the corresponding actor state morality are the simple political goals to do nothing when problems arise and to dismantle labor & consumer protections. The non-aristocratic are immoral, inherently deserve punishment, and certainly don’t deserve help. They *want* the working class to get fucked by global warming. They *want* people to die from COVID19. Etc.

Montage of McConnell laughing at suffering: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTqMGDocbVM&ab_channel=HuffPost

OH LOOK, months after I first wrote this it turns out to be validated by conservatives themselves: https://www.politico.com/news/2020/12/16/trump-appointee-demanded-herd-immunity-strategy-446408

Why do the conservative voters seem to vote against their own interest? Why does /selfawarewolves and /leopardsatemyface happen? They simply think they are higher on the social ladder than they really are and want to punish those below them for the immorality.

Absolutely everything Conservatives say and do makes sense when applying the above. This is powerful because you can now predict with good specificity what a conservative political actor will do.

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We still need to address more familiar definitions of conservatism (small c) which are a weird mash-up including personal responsibility and incremental change. Neither of those makes sense applied to policy issues. The only opposed change that really matters is the destruction of the aristocracy in favor of democracy. For some reason the arguments were white washed into a general “opposition to change.”

* This year a few women can vote, next year a few more, until in 100 years all women can vote?

* This year a few kids can stop working in mines, next year a few more...

* We should test the waters of COVID relief by sending a 1200 dollar check to 500 families. If that goes well we’ll do 1500 families next month.

* But it’s all in when they want to separate migrant families to punish them. It’s all in when they want to invade the Middle East for literal generations.

The incremental change argument is asinine. It’s propaganda to avoid concessions to labor.

The personal responsibility argument falls apart with the whole "keep government out of my medicare thing." Personal responsibility just means “I deserve free things, but people more poor than me don't."

Look: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yTwpBLzxe4U

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And for good measure I found video and sources interesting on an overlapping topic. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vymeTZkiKD0

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Some links incase anyone doubts that the contemporary American voter base was purposefully machined and manipulated into its mangle of abortion, guns, war, and “fiscal responsibility.” What does fiscal responsibility even mean? Who describes themselves as fiscally irresponsible?

Here is Atwater talking behind the scenes. https://www.thenation.com/article/archive/exclusive-lee-atwaters-infamous-1981-interview-southern-strategy/

https://www.americanprogress.org/issues/religion/news/2013/03/27/58058/the-religious-right-wasnt-created-to-battle-abortion/

a little academic abstract to lend weight to conservatives at the time not caring about abortion. https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/journal-of-policy-history/article/abs/gops-abortion-strategy-why-prochoice-republicans-became-prolife-in-the-1970s/C7EC0E0C0F5FF1F4488AA47C787DEC01

They were casting about for something to rile a voter base up and abortion didn't do it. https://www.bostonglobe.com/opinion/2018/02/05/race-not-abortion-was-founding-issue-religious-right/A5rnmClvuAU7EaThaNLAnK/story.html

The role religion played entwined with institutionalized racism. https://www.forbes.com/sites/chrisladd/2017/03/27/pastors-not-politicians-turned-dixie-republican/?sh=31e33816695f

https://www.salon.com/2019/07/01/the-long-southern-strategy-how-southern-white-women-drove-the-gop-to-donald-trum/

Likely the best:

https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2014/05/religious-right-real-origins-107133

I'll leave it at that. Anyone who can read these and come away doubting the architecting of the contemporary American Conservative voter base is a lost cause (like the Confederacy).

Via Gray Idolon on Reddit:

https://www.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/kxtuwh/its_no_longer_a_political_party_its_a_cult_former/gjci4ua/?context=5

#conservatism #politics

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aleatoryalarmalligator · 7 years

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my life story in fragments part 22

Things started going down hill for me over the course of my 8th grade year – more than the normal down hill slide which seems to have been most of my life up to that point. Jodi moved into our house. This wasn't in itself bad for me really. My father could now be so stressed at someone else that he didn't need to take it out on me behind closed doors anymore. Meaning I could probably get away with skipping classes more often since he was too busy banging his head against a brick wall. It was strange to me and I never got used to it, but despite all the fighting between her and my father they decided to get married to patch it all up like a band aid. They planned on getting married that summer.

The fact that for years my father preached about the folly of 'shacking up', he was perfectly willing to live that life himself. This really bothered me. For whatever reason, very early in life, I got really hung up by contradiction. I know now that nobody is perfect and most of our brain functions we aren't even fully in control of. So it's not an issue for me anymore, though I do take notice just the same. But back then, I really thought people should do what they say and say what they do. I didn't ever really care if people shacked up since Christian principles have never meant all that much to me, but I was silently shocked and felt demeaned that he had lied to me all those years. I had taken him for having more gumption and integrity than that considering how adamant he had been, and it really felt like an affront to what I knew about him. It was very hard for me not to show outright shock and disgust when everyday, he did the things that he had criticized others for endlessly.

Jodi had lost her rental home because of some kind of thing where someone was looking to buy it. And given that she was not set up to get another place, and given that they had decided to get married, I suppose it made sense in a distant way if you ignored the fact that both of them were miserable and Jodi had already cheated on my father a few times. I think he might have felt more comfortable in a sense with Jodi living in the house with us because that we he could watch over her and make sure she wasn't doing drugs or seeing other men – as if women are like animals you have to watch. Which of course was already a sign that this would never work out to begin with.

She never really spoke to me. I was told that in an off way, she didn't like me and wanted to find a way to get me kicked out so I lived with my mom. She seemed to think I was gross. But she never made me feel that way to my face, and since it never really came up. I can't think of a negative altercation I ever had with her at all actually. And to this day, I wonder if my dad made half that up in his head. I think honestly it was largely blown out of proportion by him and the part of him that doesn't understand women and has a low self esteem. It was mentioned several times that either my dad or Jodi wanted to get rid of me, but I think it was more like, Jodi didn't really like me around that much but didn't mind me either. My dad was embarrassed because he knew I was weird, and in his mind he thought Jodi had a problem with that. Which gave him this duel sense that he needed to protect her from me, and protect me from her. All of it completely unnecessary.

So, at some point, in 8th grade, my periods became horrible and unmanageable. I was like a dying animal that had gotten hit by a bullet. And it effected my entire life. I was losing so much blood that I felt dizzy half the time. I couldn't sit through one class without having to rush to the bathrooms between classes. I was always living in this immobilized fear that my pants would bleed through and someone would see it. And this wasn't a foundless fear. This happened all the time, and it made me have to sit in chairs differently, to turn my back and side-walk though the halls between classes. And I didn't have any pads or tampons or anything like that, so I had to work with toilet paper.

My dad didn't really know how to help me with that, and he got really embarrassed and avoidant if I had ever done so much as ask if I could get pads. He might have gotten me that stuff a few times, but he was really embarrassed to stand in the grocery store line with them – as if anyone would seriously believe they were for him – and even if they were who the fuck cares? He had said so many negative things about women and their periods throughout my entire life that I had internalized all this guilt and self hatred onto myself, that asking for pads was like coming out in some tiny way with someone you already know isn't accepting of it. He didn't seem to realize that him being so hard on women like that would affect me as his daughter. I don't believe he intentionally orchestrated that unhealthy dynamic. I think he just thought that somehow it wouldn't affect me at all. So I really had no choice but to use toilet paper – I could have demanded more, but I knew if he knew I was on my period, he would psyche out on me intentionally, and then use the 'psychotic PMS woman' argument to support his abusiveness. And using toilet paper sucked. I became good at it, but it was hell. I wish this upon absolutely no one.

And I had no mother figure to teach me anything whatsoever, so there was this point in time that previous summer where, I didn't want my dad to see I was on my period by looking into the garbage, and having just been told by one of my friends that you can't be flushing that down else you clog the pipes, so I stuffed a few pads under the floorboards of a vacant room upstairs. In our big old house there was a lot of unfinished projects that my mother had just left after starting seven years previous, and my father had never gotten around to finishing them either. So there were places where there were holes in the flooring and such.

Time had gone by, and when Jodi was moving in, my dad was fixing up the upstairs kitchen with Jodi, and they found my year old used pads – which I acknowledge is pretty gross but I can't help but think that they might have some significance to anthropologists in 800 years had they never been discovered. I remember I came home from school clueless. My dad yelled me name as soon as I entered the house with fury, and I remember feeling terrified. I tiptoed up the steps and he yelled at me, telling me how disgusting I was for having done what I had done – as though I had intentionally wanted Jodi to be scarred by my filth, or I was fascinated with the filthiness of it all. He kept screaming WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?! and if I tried to answer, he would quickly interrupt me with SHUT UP!. He took on of the pads and shoved it in my face. He said I owed an apology to Jodi and pretty much made it clear that I had terrorized her with my leavings. As for what she actually thought, I will never know.

From there, further talk was had that the family would be better off without me. Of course, this couldn't happen because I was relied on too heavily for babysitting. I was somehow simultaneously the victim and the master of destruction, but I could see my father trying to do the math. I do believe that had he not needed me for babysitting, he would have kicked me out of the house in a heartbeat. I had become a young woman now and in his simplicity, I believe he felt betrayed by me for that. I was chubby, a poor student, overly sensitive, weird, and my face at this point was so covered with acne that it hurt to smile. I was no longer all that cute to anyone. He wanted a good conservative all American family unit and there is no having one of those when you have one of me around the house. Allison and David were young and so they were in. I was not.

Of course, had kicking me out ever come to pass, he would have cried and wanted me to come back, after he had chased me away on account of the perceived notion that I was somehow responsible for the downfall of his relationship and the family values of the household. Somehow the morality of the family was being brought down by me – and I have never figured out how that was. In his mind, he pinned me against his relationship with Jodi, so that if it was failing, he could always use me as his go-to live in counselor who had been right all along, and if him and Jodi were doing well, but he knew things weren't going to last, he could take out all his confusion and desperation out on me in an abusive way. As if I were the one that made all this happen. In all honesty, had someone asked me, I might have told them even then that perhaps having me as a baby was not a wise choice.

My life was really going downhill in my mental wellness and personal life too. I was babysitting all the time. My friends went places, and I could never go. I had to cook dinner and stay home. At school, I was helpless, as I watched Kyle and Kayla getting more and more chummy by the day, and the whole school was abuzz with what a couple they were and when one of them was finally going to admit that they were in love with the other.

I know now that I wasn't really in love, but try telling me then and I would have thought that I had hit the ceiling of the most you could be in love. I was so empty inside and crushed that every breath I took hurt. I cried during class by putting my head down carefully. I was bleeding so much that I was dizzy, and I often times cried myself to sleep at four in the morning, only to have to get up in three hours and do it all again. My dad moved me to the downstairs room, to make room for Jodi and Jessie, and it was COLD down there. It got down to 40 degrees in that room, and I could see my breath during the winter nights. I would just cry in that cold room, and my nose and throat would hurt, and I was always catching colds since the school was crammed and unsanitary and my sad state lowered my immune system. I was never done recovering from one cold when another would hit. And since the staircase was right next to room, I could hear eerie foot steps walking up and down all night, whether it was my imagination, or a super confused dead person I shall never know, and the experience was real to me then. I could feel the presence right behind the door, feeling me just as I felt it, through the walls.

My acne was bad enough to where any responsible adult would have taken me to the doctors. I had this coyote mix dog on top of everything else that I had to struggle to train that was nearly impossible since she was a wild animal. She would run away at least once a week and chasing her down would take hours. She was the biggest trickster of an animal I have ever seen. She embodied what is symbolic in all of our minds of what a trickster is. You could see it in her gleeful rebellious eyes as she skirted between cars that slammed on their breaks. I remember one day running after her, and a semi was at her back. She had this big doggy smile of fearless glee on her face, and she didn't seem to even remotely understand how close she was to dying. From my limited understanding of how you make small things bend to your will, I was a horrible dog trainer. I would just yell and hit her. I didn't beat her really. But it had never occurred to me that I was doing damage. I was damaged, and therefore I was damaging my dog. Animals have psyches that you have to look after just like people, and I didn't know that at the time.

AndI was never able to think ahead for school because I seemed to crumble to pieces after school, and in the best case scenario, I would stretch the chorded phone into my room and talk to my friends. I was always on the phone if I had the opportunity which seems weird to me now. I often times put off everything I needed to do, like homework or washing my clothes in a timely manner, so I would end up having to wash my clothes by hand before school, and my clothes were soaking when I got to whatever hour of class I chose to go to school at. People wondered why I came to school, even in the winter with soaking wet, sometimes frozen sleeved clothing. And then Pepsi's hair was all over me too. I was such a mess.

Gym was hell. We had to undress in front of one another, and that was nearly impossible for me to do emotionally. I learned how to dress FAST and turn my brain off. Like, Sarah one time watched me switch shirts, and I had this whole thing down to under fifteen seconds. It was so hard for me to undress in front of people. And then I had to worry about blood stains showing on my underwear. There was no winning for me in those times. Once, one of my homemade pads fell onto the gym floor while everyone played basketball around me, a game that nobody ever explained to me on how to play, so I humiliated myself by just standing there wondering who's team I was even on. After awhile, I would either just sit out every gym class, or else I would not show up till after lunch.

My attendance was horrible, and only getting worse. By winter, I had been abscent about 50% of the time. My grades were of the 20% F variety, the kind you cannot make up at all. Teachers didn't care for me – though most of them weren't too hard on me. In the mean time, I had become a school legend of sorts. My shenanigans had gotten the attention of the whole school, which grew to be the whole town. People screamed at me when they drove past me every single day. If I took a walk a mile down the road, I would get a holler from three cars at least. Full grown adults began screaming names at me. It had become more than just something that affected my class in the high school, it really evolved into mass hysteria almost for an entire community. I didn't encourage it anymore after a point. Kyle was too busy with Kayla to bother with me most days, and when he did it would only be when nobody else was around. I had somehow become just this really big deal.

Strangely, many of the school-wide jokes or fads, or one liners or games that got popular with the students actually started from me. I would say or do something, and then a month later it was something girls three grades above me would be doing. Most people didn't even seem aware that I had started it. Once someone asked me a question, and I said 'Ancient Chinese Secret' as a way to not tell them directly. And this became a school wide phrase used by kids I never really talked to or met. So I served some function to these people – whatever that was. People imitated me, but it was so far removed from me by the time all the popular kids were saying/doing it that it was really annoying.

The fervor to pick on me to see how I would react, actually caused three classes to sign a document declaring they were going to make my life hell. Like, dozens of kids signed this and the school fit maybe 120 kids in total. Even adults signed it. People would begin to throw rocks at my house. Or at me by the end of 8th. What was once silly and flirtatious meant to get a laugh out of others, took on this almost violent mindlessness.

Despite never doing my homework, I would pack all six large textbooks into my bag, and take it home every night anyway. The heaviness of all those books actually screwed up my back pretty bad and my back was starting to really hurt. Also, no backpack held together. So oftentimes, I had to pack them by hand, stacked up to my chin. Why I bothered to take this home I have no idea. I probably never did homework once and certainly didn't want to look at it after packing it like that.

My friends liked me, but they saw me as weak. They were more interested in trying to outdo one another and I felt like I was there to make everyone feel safe. So I was liked by all because everyone knew that at least they weren't me. I didn't really mind being at the bottom of the food chain so long as they were nice. And they actually were nice to me I suppose. I didn't really want to be alpha, so it didn't matter to me personally. Friends always called me to complain about one another. I would sympathize with all of them, not quite able to figure out why everyone was so mad all the time.

There was no way I could even function in society and I knew it. The principal let me know. I was a defective human. Somehow, I had diverged. Whatever lay in store for me, was going to be much different than the others in my school. I remember one of the only things I grew to enjoy was my walks to school after three or so classes had passed. I had just not gone, and I could walk in the later morning and be alone with myself and at peace. I would walk past the trees and bushes, watch water in the creek flow, watch birds fly, the occasional semi truck would pass, and that was seriously the only time that a sense of peace would dawn on me, and I would feel like there was some fundamental part of me that belonged.

Nothing about me going to school to get robbed of my dignity everyday was natural. But here, out in the nature of it all, the birds had their place, the trees and so did I. Not that I am keen to living in the elements. But there is something about nature that puts your own life into perspective. There was no right or wrong. There was only this strange 'beingness' to everything. And I tried to mentally connect to that. But then the school would get closer and I would be filled with anxiety again, as well as some lunatic thrill that I would be seeing Kyle and he might say a word or two to me.

I was thinking about suicide a lot. Kyle was my only reason to not commit suicide at this point I had decided, which I am well aware seems really flawed and crazy. Like, he was wrong to string me along, but he never made any promises to me either and didn't deserve to have my life unknowingly strapped onto his back. I am sure he meant me no harm. And honestly, I never would have killed myself. I had no idea how I would go about it. People don't say this often, but actually going through with suicide takes guts. It's not easy to swallow your last pills, drink poison, cut yourself that deep, pull a trigger, or jump off a tall height. Somehow, this feeling had to end in death, however. So I just felt like I would die of a broken heart eventually. A death like that seemed to make the most sense for me. It didn't make any sense to me that people expected me to be patriotic to my school and country, be a lovely glowing daughter, a member of society with high grades, and have a healthy appreciation for sports. I was falling apart and adults always had these mindless eyes as they critiqued my existence. I didn't know what to say.

In order to cope with my depression, I became even more obsessed with Kyle, and I began to focus on 'the great beyond' to help me keep up the hope that he would eventually turn around and realize that I loved him. I became obsessed with horoscopes. I would get up early in the morning and turn on the pop radio station that gave out horoscopes at six in the morning, just to hear my useless fortune and the fortunes of my friends and our crushes, but mostly for me. When the report said that romance was coming my way, I was suspended in a reality where I actually believed that. I was always going through extreme bouts of pessimism and optimism. I started carrying around Horoscope books everywhere I went. I would buy silly little pamphlets from the counters of stores. I began letting this stuff dictate what I did each day, what I ate, how I dressed. If the day did not go as it was supposed to, I became frustrated, thinking I must have done something wrong. I figured that if I worked with the stars and constellations that I might be rewarded for it. It became a strange form of religion for me for a time.

Here are all the others i have written thus far

PART 21 - http://tinyurl.com/y783egno

PART 20 - http://tinyurl.com/y8jskymt

PART 19 - http://tinyurl.com/rfhbms8

PART 18 - http://tinyurl.com/ycrznrwk

PART 17 - http://tinyurl.com/y77unlng

PART 16 - http://tinyurl.com/yadpsv8c

PART 15 - http://tinyurl.com/yb3lt6k5

PART 14 - http://tinyurl.com/yb4cfedq

PART 13 - http://tinyurl.com/yalanq9s

PART 12 - http://tinyurl.com/yc79mw94

PART 11 - http://tinyurl.com/yc9qhj84

PART 10 - http://tinyurl.com/yb734w24

PART 9 - http://tinyurl.com/yc2t6vfw

PART 8 - http://tinyurl.com/ybl37utq

PART 7 - http://tinyurl.com/ybvo283g

PART 6 - http://tinyurl.com/kbc9dwu

PART 5 - http://tinyurl.com/msnz4am

PART 4 - http://tinyurl.com/k9x8esg

PART 3 - http://tinyurl.com/mwp9atx

PART 2 - http://tinyurl.com/lbt6xq2

PART 1 - http://tinyurl.com/l8xbvg8

#text

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nevillwallace97 · 4 years

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joyoflife2019 · 4 years

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The Best Pregnancy Diet Plan

Pregnancy is a special time in a woman’s life as she takes time to nurture the life that is growing within her. It is also a time in which many women choose to indulge themselves – as they rightly should. Don’t fight the cravings that will come your way. However, to avoid excessive weight gain, it is a good idea to have a diet plan for pregnancy. The right plan will help ensure that you gain a healthy pregnancy weight which can be lost within the first year of postpartum through exercise and clean eating.

So, what is the best diet for pregnancy? Let’s get into it.

1. How much weight you should be gaining during pregnancy

First and foremost, how much weight is it okay to put on during your pregnancy? Your physician is the best person to advise you on this matter as they will assess your physical fitness and current Body Mass Index (BMI) to ascertain a healthy weight to gain.

This BMI calculator by the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute can help you determine your own weight prior to visiting the doctor. According to the BMI categories, you are considered underweight if your BMI works out to less than 18.5, normal weight if you’re between 18.5 and 24.9, overweight is when your BMI is between 25 and 29.9, and obese when your BMI is 30 or more.

If you’re underweight according to your BMI, you’ll be advised to put on anywhere between 15 to 20kg; if you’re within the normal weight range, your prescribed healthy weight gain will fall between 10 and 17kg. If you’re overweight then you should not put on more than 12kg and no less than 7kg. And finally, if you fall within the obese BMI range, your doctor will recommend you gain between 5kg and 9kg only. (Find out measurements in pounds)

If you gain too much this may pose challenges throughout your pregnancy and lead to complications at birth. Conversely, if you gain too little weight, you risk giving birth to a potentially small baby. What’s key is having a healthy pregnancy diet, incorporating some exercise into your daily routine, and that you don’t over-indulge in overly processed foods.

A nutritionist can help you with your meals if you’d rather get professional help. Together with your doctor, they can devise the best pregnancy diet plan complete with pregnancy nutrition explanations for you. In addition, consult with your doctor if you’re retaining a lot of water or if you’re not gaining as you should be based on your BMI.

Above all, enjoy your pregnancy and don’t stress too much over the weight, because you will gradually lose it postpartum through breastfeeding combined with exercise and a post-pregnancy diet regimen.

2. Foods to eat when you are pregnant

So, what exactly should you be eating during pregnancy? What does a healthy pregnancy diet compose of?

a. Fruit and vegetables

Top of the list of foods you should be eating are fruits and vegetables. Wholesome, organic, and filled with nutrients, you should eat a sizable portion of each every day – up to five portions. Fruits provide you vitamins that are needed to keep your immune system strong. They also provide the minerals needed for fetal development.

b. Starch carbohydrate-rich foods

We’re so used to being told carbs aren’t good for us. Actually our bodies need carbs for energy. It’s processed carbs that you need to limit, but eat as many naturally occurring carb-rich foods as possible. You’re looking at potatoes and brown rice. The occasional pasta and bread too.

c. Protein

Protein is needed for muscle and tissue formation for your growing baby. Obtain the needed protein from sources such as chicken, fish, beef, eggs, quinoa, tofu, soy products, nuts, seeds, and beans. According to some researchers, making a point to include seafood in your pregnancy diet is also a good idea as it may help to keep anxiety levels at a minimum.

d. Fats

While fat is needed it should not make up more than 30% of your diet. Too much fat will put your baby at risk of developing medical problems later on in life such as insulin resistance and diabetes. Keep your fat intake to unsaturated options such as sunflower oil, olive oil, sesame oil and fruit like avocados, and nuts in their various forms.

e. Calcium

Calcium is a critical mineral needed for the development of bones and cell-structure. There is no shortage of calcium-rich foods out there. Take your pick of dairy foods from milk and yogurt to cheese. Good vegetable choices are mustard greens, soybeans, kale, Chinese cabbage, collards, broccoli, and bok choy.

3. Foods and drinks to avoid when you are pregnant

When you’re pregnant, it’s imperative to remember that everything you do will affect the little one growing in you in some way. Everything you put into your body eventually reaches the baby because of the placental link. Here are some foods and drinks that are best avoided if you can.

a. Mercury in some types of fish

Mercury is a metal that may be found in fish such as shark, marlin, and swordfish. Exposure to food containing mercury will not only harm you (your kidneys, nervous system and lungs) but will have a detrimental effect on the baby’s brain and hearing, and may affect vision too.

b. Uncooked or partially cooked meat

Pregnancy is not the time to eat food that is not cooked properly. All food should be thoroughly cooked to avoid bacterial and or viral contamination. Food that’s not cooked thoroughly may lead to food poisoning. This includes avoiding raw eggs and sushi.

c. Alcohol

Alcohol isn’t altogether banned if you’re pregnant but public health authorities highly recommend reducing your weekly glasses significantly. Your baby’s liver is not able to process alcohol the same way your adult liver can. A pregnant woman who drinks excessively risks her baby’s normal development. Fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS) is a condition that may result if a pregnant woman insists on drinking too much.

d. Caffeine

Does caffeine have any harmful effects on the mother and child? The recommended daily caffeine intake should not go beyond 200 milligrams per day. Anything beyond this and the mother risks having a miscarriage or giving birth to a baby with low birth weight. This in itself can cause health problems for the child in the future.

Joy of Life – Journeying together with you

Joy of Life is one of the premier surrogacy agencies in California. Our team is on hand to help you with this exciting and life-changing experience. If you have questions regarding the best diet for pregnancy, pregnancy diet tips or would like to talk to someone about pregnancy nutrition, don’t hesitate to reach out to us.

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travisandersondatingblog · 6 years

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Kiss on a First Date? Should You or Shouldn’t You?

Inquiring women around the world want to know: should I kiss on a first date? What will he think of me if I do (or don’t)? Does it set the course for the future of that relationship?

I get it. That first date is so critical for determining whether you have chemistry with someone enough to want to build a relationship with them. You also worry about making the wrong moves because if you do something offensive, he might decide he doesn’t want to see you again.

A lot of women worry that if they kiss on the first date, the guy will think they’re easy and will see it as a gateway to a hookup. On the other hand, not kissing could say you’re not interested…when in fact you are.

So you see the conundrum. What’s a girl to do? Let’s figure it out together.

What Does a Kiss Communicate?

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Let’s start by interpreting a kiss. What does one mean, particularly when given on a first date?

While there are plenty of nuances to a kiss (and of course, the type of kiss has a huge impact on what you communicate), the general message you’re both communicating in a kiss on a first date is:

I’m into you. I’m attracted to you and would like to get to know you better…and not as a friend.

So…if that’s what you want to communicate, bring on the kiss…maybe.

But realize that a kiss on a first date communicates more at a subconscious level. In the book The Science of Kissing, author Sheril Kirshenbaum explains that a kiss tells you a lot about how compatible you are at a genetic level.

“And so when we’re kissing, we’re in what we call our personal space. It’s a perfect opportunity to get that sample and to sense whether this might be a good match for us. And the advantage of that would be, if two people with more genetic diversity in this region got together, their child might be stronger, healthier, have a better immune system, be more likely to pass on their genes.”

Even if you have no desire to create children with this man, your inner cave-lady is still tuning into how good a father to those theoretical kids he’d be. You can assume that in this day and age if the kiss doesn’t set off sparks, you might not be a good fit in the long run.

So…Should You Kiss on a First Date?

You know I’m going to tell you that ultimately the decision to kiss on a first date is completely up to you, but let’s explore the pros and cons of locking lips with a guy after dinner and drinks for the first time.

Pros to the First Date Kiss:

A kiss on a first date can communicate that you’re into him.

I’ve met tons of women who have no problem giving a kiss on the first date. It should be no surprise that these tend to be highly confident women. Here’s why they say you absolutely should consider that kiss on a first date.

1. You’re Interested and Want Him to Know

After a coffee date that stretched on for hours, you’re pretty pumped about this guy. You have so much in common. You’re even looking for the same thing in a relationship! Score! Still, you’re nervous that you haven’t given the impression that you’re as into him as you are. You tried doing those tricks Adam taught you to communicate through body language, but still, you want to close out the date with no question at all that you’re interested.

Also…you want to be completely sure that he’s as into you. You don’t want to go home and wait for him to ask you out on a second date. Lock it down now, girl!

If you’re reasonably sure he’s into you and you want to communicate the same, a kiss on the first date is a great way to get your point across.

2. You Want to Give the Promise of More to Come

You’re a Sexy Confident lady and you want to leave this guy wanting more. You want to end the date making him ready to see you again immediately. So you use your sassy sexy cool and lean over and kiss him when he least expects it.

Fireworks.

He’s so taken aback, but he’s into it. And you? Cool as a cucumber, you wink at him and walk to your car alone.

See if he doesn’t text you within hours of that fabulous kiss.

3. You Want to Test His Gentleman Factor

Face it: some of the guys you go out with are jerks who want nothing more than to get in your pants. You’re tired of it, frankly. So you meet a guy who seems to have potential, but you want to make sure he’s not like the others. A good way to tell? Embark on that kiss on a first date and see if he gets handsy or overly passionate.

Consider a kiss on a first date like walking into someone’s house you barely know. Do you knock…or do you barge in and take your shoes off, making yourself comfortable on the couch?

Of course not! A first kiss should be polite and not overly sexual. You may or may not even use tongue. If he’s putting more sex into his end of the kiss, he’s probably interested in one thing, and it ain’t gazing lovingly into your eyes.

4. You Get a Sense of How He Feels

Like I said: a first kiss on a first date communicates a lot. Pay attention to what his body language before and during the kiss is telling you.

Before the kiss…

Is he slowly getting closer to you?

Is he finding every excuse to touch you?

Is he acting nervous?

And during the kiss…

Does he pull you close like he can’t get enough (without stepping outside the gentleman zone)?

Does he still act nervous?

Does he run his fingers through your hair or touch your face?

All of these are very good signs that he’s into it…even if he is a little (and understandably) nervous. So giving a kiss on a first date can help you better understand where his head’s at in terms of how he feels about you.

5. You’re a Modern Woman and Don’t Need to Wait for Him to Make the First Move

A lot of times whether you kiss on the first date falls to whether the man makes the first move or not. But this isn’t 1955.

An OKCupid survey found that women who made the first move on the dating site had better results, so it’s safe to assume that men like it when ladies take initiative from time to time. Your date may not be sure that you want to be kissed on the first date, so he might hold back…meanwhile you might interpret this as signaling that he’s not interested.

A surefire way to find out if he is interested is to make that first move yourself!

Cons to the First Date Kiss:

On the other hand, maybe you’re not a go-get-’em kind of girl and you don’t want to move too fast on a first date. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with not having a kiss on a first date…and in fact, there are several reasons why you might want to hesitate before smooching.

1. You Don’t Know Who Else He’s Been Kissing

The date went so well, you’re already planning a spring wedding next year…only you have no idea that you’re his third date this week. A first date can be really early to know what the other person’s looking for in terms of dating, so you might be putting yourself out there to a man who is only looking for something casual.

Until you know if you’re aligned in what you want relationship-wise, it may be better for you to slow down a bit. Kissing a guy can make you feel more emotionally attached to him, and if you’re not certain that you’re the only woman he’s dating, it may be better to pull back until you do know.

On the other hand, if you’re also going out with (and kissing) multiple guys…it might not matter to you if he’s doing the same, so kiss away!

2. You May Not Know Him Well Enough

For some women, kissing is pretty intimate, and they want to save it for a man they feel like they know at least well enough to trust him with their spit.

If you’re going on a “first meet” over coffee with a guy you’ve chatted with a couple of days on a dating app, you might consider this your opportunity to get to know him in person, suss out whether you have chemistry or not, and then decide if you like him or not. You might not even put kissing on the agenda for a first meet like this.

In the event that this meetup went well and you’d like to kiss him the next time you see him, you can always text something to him afterward to let him know you’re interested…and that he can anticipate a lip lock the next time he sees you. That gives him all the more reason to ask you out again!

3. You Don’t Want to Send the Wrong Signals

When I ask some women whether they kiss on the first date, they say, Why Adam! I’m not that kind of girl!

While it’s true that in this day and age it’s a lot less likely that you’ll be judged as a hussy for kissing on the first date, many women nonetheless want to avoid having a man think that she’s all too eager to be intimate.

If you really want to take things slow and get to know a guy before kissing and maybe, just possibly, down the road having sex, you can communicate that you roll slowly by not kissing on the first date.

4. You Don’t Want to Get His Hopes Up

Frankly, a first date can be a whirlwind. As you sit there sipping your glass of wine, you have every emotion under the sun.

He’s super hot!

Wait…no…he’s kinda ugly.

Wow, we have a ton to talk about.

I’m bored.

I really like him!

I want to get the hell out of here!

Truth is: you may not know how you feel about this man in the moment on a first date. You may need to go home and reflect on the date, as well as text or talk to him more to determine whether or not you want to pursue anything further with him.

A kiss definitely communicates that you’re into him…and if you’re not sure you are, you should avoid it on a first date.

Should You Kiss Him First?

Are you nervous about making the first move?

I touched on this question a bit earlier but let’s go deeper because it’s one to consider whether you kiss on the first date or sometime later.

Some men are impossibly shy and may take far longer than you would like to get around to kissing you. They’re waiting for a thousand signs that you’re into them and that you won’t reject them if they lean in for a kiss.

You can wait if you’re patient…

Or you can take initiative and plant one on him. Most men will be pleasantly surprised.

Here are some tips to follow if you decide to be the one to make the first move.

Watch his body language. Make sure you’re not reading what you want to read from the date, and that he is into you enough to welcome a kiss.

Determine whether he’s ok with an assertive woman. Some men may feel threatened if you make the first move, so see if his personality indicates whether he’d be ok with it or not.

Wait for the right opportunity. In the middle of dinner is not the right time for a kiss! Wait until the end of the evening and ask him to walk you to your car, or catch him as he opens your car door.

Consider the type of kiss. If you’re not brave enough for a full-on French kiss, lean in for a sensuous lip peck. If he wants to take it further, the invitation has been given.

Conclusion:

Ultimately, you should be comfortable with whether you kiss on a first date or not.

The good news is: you don’t have to make a hard and fast rule about whether you kiss on a first date or not. You can change your mind on every first date you go on.

Maybe one guy is giving crazy good vibes and you end up walking through the park holding hands. Bring on the kiss!

Maybe another guy is interesting but shy, and you don’t want to push him out of his comfort zone, so you let him dictate when that first kiss happens.

Maybe another guy is giving mixed signals and you’re not sure how into him so you wait to figure it out. He ends up ghosting you, so you didn’t waste any saliva on that dude.

Whatever you decide on whether to kiss on a first date or not, you need to be comfortable with your decision. If a guy leans in and starts kissing you and warning bells are going off in your head (too soon! too soon!) back away and tell him it’s too early for you to kiss him. Or make sure there’s no good opportunity for a kiss at the end of the date (you call your Uber to get you, so it’s too awkward to kiss there).

Don’t worry about what a man will think if you kiss on a first date. Quite honestly, I’ll tell you that we’re just happy to lock lips with you at all. We’re not really thinking about what happens down the road or judging you for it…so stop judging yourself.

If you want to kiss him…kiss him! You make the rules for your life.

So now let me hear from my Sexy Confident ladies. What’s your philosophy about a kiss on the first date? Do or don’t?

Get one step closer to that kiss by stepping up your flirting game. My Flirting Workshop will teach you how to be irresistible to men that you go out with.

The post Kiss on a First Date? Should You or Shouldn’t You? appeared first on Sexy Confidence.

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thecloudlight-blog · 7 years

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New Post has been published on Cloudlight

New Post has been published on https://cloudlight.biz/prep-extra-live-updates-state-girls-basketball-semifinals/

Prep Extra live updates: State girls basketball semifinals

Spots in the state finals are on the line Friday at Pinnacle Bank Arena and the Devaney Sports Center.

Follow the chat for updates from all 12 state semifinal games, starting with the 9 a.m. games.

Live Healthier With This One Daily Change

Dwelling a healthy lifestyle is crucial if you would like to shed pounds, since your fine, have electricity, and reduce the danger of health troubles. There are numerous elements that may play a position in how you sense. Adding some wheatgrass powder for your day by day recurring can come up with a boost and some brought defenses in opposition to those variables.

if you don’t eat enough veggies, your food plan isn’t what it ought to be. There are lots of nutrients observed in those fresh greens that you need to be ingesting. If there isn’t always a way to encourage you to devour greater of them, consider Adding this for your food regimen. It’ll help you to update what you are not getting because of a lack of these veggies.

Antioxidants

You’ll discover wheatgrass powder on the list of superfoods due to the various antioxidants it offers. This could assist to dispose of pollutants from your body so they don’t increase and make you experience ill and slow. Your immune machine may not work so hard and it is able to stay wholesome and strong to combat whilst you actually need it to.

It cleanses because it carries Chlorophyll which is going to cleanse the liver. As a result, it may cleanse your frame from free radicals. You cannot see them, but they’re found in the environment all around us. This may also assist to easy your blood so you are much less probably to be afflicted by an expansion of deficiency disorders. It’s also anti-bacterial so you can help combat off germs.

Metabolism

You may aid your efforts to lose weight and to hold extra weight from staying in your body by means of enhancing your metabolism. Wheatgrass powder is an extraordinary manner for you to do this without any difficult paintings or attempt worried. Because it additionally improves the extent of oxygen to your body, You may sense energized and enhance your mood on the identical time.

Being capable of raising your metabolism without harsh stimulants is essential. They assist you to shaky, speed up your coronary heart price, and make it tough so that you can sleep at night time. This is a herbal way to get consequences and bypass those unfavorable effects.

Regulate your body

Do not underestimate what wheatgrass powder can do that will help you with regulating your body systems. it can help with keeping blood sugar levels wherein they should be. it is able to assist with retaining hormone tires balanced too. a few human beings find it is able to help with increasing their fertility too while not having to undergo invasive approaches.

When your hormone stages are off, you can sense out of manage with your emotions. you could sense like you have no electricity and you’re worn-out regardless of how an awful lot relaxation you get. retaining your hormones instability allows you to feel your very quality. This can help women as they go through the phases of menopause too.

Oral Hygiene Care

There’s statistics verifying wheatgrass powder can assist with reducing the chance of teeth decay. Taking accurate care of your oral hygiene is critical at any age. a few human beings appear vulnerable to more dental problems than others. This may be due to genetics, fitness issues, and other variables. This variation for your each day ordinary can come up with an extra stage of protection for a healthier mouth.

Provide it an Attempt

You are not going to understand how properly your frame responds to wheatgrass powder until you Give it a Strive! Make a devote me to add it for your daily consumption for a length of two weeks. In that point, you need to notice you feel better than before. That is what’s going to encourage you to continue the use of it. This is a gluten free product with plenty of benefits and no harsh side outcomes to worry approximately.

Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office 101 – A Book Summary

Dr. Frankel genuinely identifies the commonplace mistakes -one hundred and one in all–that ladies dedicate unconsciously to sabotage their careers. This e-book offers progressive publications to help the women of today put off the girl-like behaviors they have become accustomed to, which hold them lower back professionally.

The way you Play the sport

Sadly, women aren’t as educated to participate in competitive began makingsports. It’s miles most effective recentlybegan making longer recognisetheir marks in this area. Hence, maxilonger recognise not recognizethe guidelines of the sport of commercial enterprise. They tnot recognize do now a way to play it–and extra importantly, a way to win it.

Some of the common errors girls dedicate as they play the

Game of commercial enterprise are: pretending it isn’t a recreation; gambling the game thoroughly and inside bounds; running difficult; doing the what you need; warding off workplace politics; being the conscience; shielding jerks; conserving your tongue; failing to capitalize on relationships; and, no longer know-how the needs of your ingredients.

How you Act

Being a hit inside the world of business isn’t best depending on your know-how of a way to play it. It is also vital to understand how to act, professionally. Dr. Frankel enumerates some not going behaviors in the place of job that can be hard career busters.

Those are: polling before you make a decision; wanting to

Be liked; now not desiring to be appreciated; now not asking questions for worry of sounding stupid; performing like a person; telling the whole truth and not anything however the truth (so help you God); sharing too much non-public records; being overly involved with offending others; denying the importance of money; flirting; acquiescing to bullies; adorning your office like your dwelling room; feeding others; imparting a limp handshake; being financially insecure; and, helping.

How You think

Converting the manner You think can significantly effect a trade for your profession. Be aware the beliefs and notion styles you learn early in girlhood which you need to rethink after which ultimately neglect.

A number of These are: making miracles; taking complete

Duty; obediently following instructions; viewing guys in authority as father figures; restricting your possibilities; ignoring the quid pro quo (some thing it’s exchanged in return for some thing else); skipping conferences; placing work in advance of your personal lifestyles; letting humans waste some time; prematurely leaving behind your career goals; ignoring the importance of community relationships; refusing perks; making up terrible stories; and, striving for perfection.

How you Emblem and Market Your self

Marketing oneself is as critical as Marketing a precise Brand. Think of Yourself as a Brand it really is needs to be marketed effectively. Along These come some critical factors that women need to particularly do not forget.

Tips To Buy An Outdoor Basketball

Commonly, outdoor surfaces are more difficult, which makes it clean why you should go for the great outdoor basketball. Satisfactory basketballs might be able to withstand the moisture and temperature outdoor your property. So, if you are critical approximately gambling this sport out of doors, we advise that you hold some matters in thoughts earlier than deciding on a ball.

Earlier than You Purchase An out of doors Basketball?

You can discover out of doors basketballs in three sizes: size five, length 6 and size 7. As a be counted of truth, the proper length for you may depend on your age and sex.

Size five balls

These are designed for players who are among the age of 8 and eleven. The circumference of these balls is about 27 ½ and weight is around 18 ounces. So, These balls could be perfect in your youngsters as well.

Size 6 balls

They may be an excellent choice for you in case you are between 12 and 15 years antique. They function a circumference of approximately 28.five inches. And that they weigh round 20 ounces. Experts recommend These basketballs for woman gamers as properly.

Size 7 balls

In case you are over the age of sixteen, we propose which you move for the size 7 balls. They characteristic a circumference of around 29.5 inches and their weight is round 22 oz.

Basketball Material

Outside basketballs are crafted from various materials, together with leather-based, rubber and the composite. Permit’s realize more about These substances.

leather-based

Outside basketballs made from leather are not so popular these days. In truth, balls crafted from pure leather-based should be damaged in before you are taking them out for a few extreme playing revel in. At the beginning, you can locate it tougher to govern them, as they’ll sense slick. However, with persistence, you may be capable of play properly with the leather-based ball and it will ultimate several years.

Composite leather

Most of the balls that You may see in the marketplace in recent times are crafted from the composite leather. The purpose is that the Cloth is more versatile and less expensive. Some other advantage is that Those balls are geared up for use and do not want to be broken in. furthermore, Those balls can bear the wear and tear better than the alternative sorts of balls.

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