#the sanamdn netflix

[symphonyofsilence]

I was thinking about the reason why the gods and goddesses of love or in the case of Desire of the Endless...well, the endless of Desire, are always trouble. and cruel.

(like, Aphrodite kind of starts the trojan war by promising Helen to Paris, in some myths, Hathor eventually becomes Sekhmet, and Desire is always...you know, Desire.)

I mean love sometimes is indeed trouble but other than that, they’re the gods (or the endless) of love! you’d expect them to be loving and kind. but they’re cruel.

and that, too, could be because of the nature of love and desire. there is this beautiful line about Desire of the endless that says:

“For love is no part of the dreamworld. Love belongs to Desire, and Desire is always cruel.”

but other than that, I think one possible reason is that. they’re the very personification of love and beauty and desire, they’re desire itself. everyone else desires them. they’re the very end of whatever anyone could want. who could they love and desire?

well, I think, themselves. 

so, they’re narcissists. (I mean. Desire literally has a statue of themself as their realm!) and thereby they lack empathy, treat others poorly, exploit others, do whatever they want without consideration for others, etc...

Desire says that their problem with Dream is that “he thinks his realm is superior to ours.” and since narcissists feel insecure inside, maybe they do think that Morpheus’ land is superior to theirs. maybe deep inside they think that dreaming leads to desire while consciously they want to believe that it’s the other way around,

now what would cause the insecurity?

I think the answer can be found in this very beautiful, amazingly written description of Desire of the Endless:

"Let us pause for a moment, as they descend the grey steps toward Destiny's banqueting hall, to consider the Endless.

Desire is of medium height. It is unlikely that any portrait will ever do Desire justice, since to see her (or him) is to love him (or her), -- passionately, painfully, to the exclusion of all else.

[...]

Desire is everything you have ever wanted. Whoever you are. Whatever you are.

Everything."

I think for all the love they receive, they feel a lack of genuine love and they’re very lonely.

if everyone desires them it’s like no one does. everyone who sees them immediately falls in love with them for “what” they are, not for “who” they are. nobody loves them because of their personalities or who they are inside, but because they’re the essence of desire. they’re created to be loved. destined to be desired.

it’s not like normal situations when people don’t know them or like them so they can get the chance to show their personality and who they are to be loved, people already fall in love with them as soon as they lay eyes on them but they don’t know them. and even if some come to eventually love them truly for who they are inside, how can one differentiate? and even if they, as the gods of love can, I don’t think after thousands of years they care enough to spend that much time with someone and analyze their feelings.

so, when you want people to like you, you act on your best behavior. in their case, when it doesn’t matter how they act, people, not just family, and friends but everyone, will still love them, giving the impression that they don’t really care about their personality and who they are as a person, and their love isn’t true but just a cosmic compulsion, the deities act on their worst behavior to prove that point.

I might be wrong.

but it made me think, does that mean that being the personification of love and beauty and desire would always mean that they’re inevitably destined to fall in love with themself? does falling in love with themself always result in not loving anyone else and narcissism? would that always result in them being cruel and causing trouble? am I making any sense at all?

so many questions...

[symphonyofsilence]

Desire of the endless, about to end their brother's whole career.

(Colored pencil)