#the second picture she's being held to let her nap without seizing. she's also on rescue medication there

[gynandromorph]

Here was Mawkish on her last day. I don't want to say she wasn't happy like in the other pictures, but you can tell how tired she is, her eyes are so glassy. She didn't do that smile she made at all. But she got a lot of fast food and chocolate and God knows she was thrilled to have it all cuz the tumor just mashed the "FOOD" button in her brain all the time

[kyber-kisses]

I, Alone (Part 7)

Dean Winchester x Reader

Wanna start from the beginning? Here is the Masterlist!

Warnings: descriptions of injury, more yearning, cursing

Summary: Reunions aren't always what you expect, especially when you need to be miles away from the person in front of you.

A/n: Ahhh I finally got this chapter done! its longer than the other ones but I hope you guys enjoy it! (gif created by undercoverrockstarjensen) Feedback is greatly appreciated!

The first thing you noticed when you slowly began to stir back into reality was that you were no longer cold. The icy feeling that had crept into your bones while tucked away in the cellar was fading, being replaced with a foreign feeling of warmth.

The second thing you noticed was that you were no longer on the dirt floor of your ghostly prison. The feeling of being cradled in someone’s arms was an easy enough feeling to identify, but who’s arms you had no idea. Still too weak to pick your head up off their shoulder you instead listened to the creak of the old steps as your savior presumably carried you out of the root cellar. You could tell you had made it outside when the air had become significantly warmer, the sounds of crickets filling the silence you had known for what felt like weeks.

A groan fell past your lips when your savior adjusted you in their arms. You still felt like you had gone several rounds with a block of cement, and your bones felt like lead.

“Please don’t move. I tried healing what I could but you’re still injured.”

At the sound of the voice you felt your muscles instantly seize up. It had worked. You didn’t think too much of it when you originally did it but it had worked.

“Cas. Cas, put me down. Please.” Suddenly you were struggling against his hold even if your body still ached. Was this real? Had one of your closest friends just heard your cry for help and saved you? Cas was gentle as he knelt down to place you in the grass, your back coming to rest against the trunk of a tree.

You would be lying if you said your heart didn’t break a little bit when you finally looked up at him, because the angel looked down at you like you were a stranger.

“How do you know who I am? You prayed for me, but I don't know you.”

“I-“ you swallowed, trying to ignore the lump in your throat. “I didn’t think it would work. I didn’t mean to either.”

Cas tilted his head, the moonlight helping you to see the confusion on his face. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. You didn’t mean to pray for my help?”

“No! My brain just kinda went into auto pilot when I was attacked. I used to do that sometimes way back then.” You explained, trying to push yourself up from the ground as you did. “I’m sorry for bothering you, but thank you for saving me-“ brushing the dirt off of yourself you moved in attempt to get past Cas. If you stayed around any longer you were gonna break down and that would definitely have him confused. “I should go.”

“Wait-“ he reached out, gently grabbing your shoulder in attempt to not frighten you too much. “What do you mean back then?”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“I—“ you stumbled on your words as panic quickly swept through you. It probably didn’t help that you were still exhausted and dehydrated because you quickly became lightheaded and before you could even attempt to try and fight it, your eyes rolled back into your head and you fell forewords, passing out in the angels arms.

*. *. *. *. *. *.

“Dammit Cas, pick up your damn phone.” Dean grumbled, bringing the phone down from his ear as he continued pacing the floor of the library.

“You really need to calm down. Dudes probably busy.”

Tossing the phone haphazardly onto the table Dean rolled his shoulders. “He took off three days ago, Sam. Said he would be in contact and he hasn’t.”

“You said he was doing heaven stuff, right?”

“That’s what he told me!” Throwing his arms into the air the older Winchester let out a huff. “But the guys kinda took off in a hurry. . . Which is all matter of annoying seeing as he said he was gonna help me figure all of this out.”

For the past several hours Dean had been itching with excitement to tell his friend what else he had figured out but the angel had been radio silent and it was starting to worry him.

He was finally getting somewhere. After weeks of tearing himself apart he was starting to piece together this messy puzzle he had had on his hands. There was someone missing from his life, someone he knew he loved dearly and they needed finding. They needed to be brought home, back to where they belonged. He had so many questions still unanswered.

If only it were that easy. He thought. If only they could just walk through that door and make everything a little easier.

Not even a full minute later the massive metal door to the bunker banged open, sending both brothers spinning in unison to look up. There was a flash of beige as whoever entered walked down the stairs and Dean let out a sigh of relief, walking towards the war room.

“Cas! Where the hell did you g—“

Sam was the first to voice the thoughts running through Deans head as his steps faltered. “Who the fuck is that?”

Sure enough, held tightly in Cas’s arms was a woman covered in dirt and blood, her y/h/c hair plastered across the side of her face. Her eyes closed, locking her in an unconscious state.

“I’m not sure.”

“You’re not sure?” Dean echoed, suddenly following the angel down the corridor towards one of the empty rooms. “What the hell happened to her?”

“I’m not sure about that either.” Cas sighed, laying the woman down on the mattress of one of the vacant bedrooms.

“Oh well that’s just great. Sam, Cas is bringing strange girls home now.” Crossing his arms, Dean leaned against the door frame. “Can you at least tell us where you found her? Or why you brought her here?”

“Southern Spain I think- it took my a couple days to accurately locate her.” The brothers watched as Cas laid a palm over her forehead, a warm light emitting from his hands. “I’ve healed most of her injuries but she’s still weak.”

“Okay, wait a second, let’s back track here.” Dean stepped forward holding up a hand. “Locate her? Why?”

“She prayed for me. That’s why I left when I did.” The angel explained, stepping back from the bed.

“Oh, well that would have nice to know, buddy. Why the hell was she praying to you?”

“She was attacked. She needed help.”

At this point it was Sam who stepped into the room now, eyebrows slightly drawn together. “Wait Cas, you said it took you a few days to locate her? No offense but should that be kind of an instant thing?”

“It should be, yes.” He nodded, eyes going back to the unconscious person before the three of them. “But she-“

“She what?” Dean was growing impatient, this whole situation was wack.

“She has enochian carved into her ribs. . . Just like you and Sam. She also called me Cas.”

That got both of them to shut up, their eyes moving to the now occupied bed. Dean stepped forward, head tilting ever so slightly as he took her in.

Who are you?

“I’ll tell you what, we’ll keep an eye on her and when she wakes up then we can ask her what happened.” Dean nodded before slowly turning on his heel and walking out of the room. He had research to get back to, and a person to find.

*. *. *. *. *. *.

When you woke up again it happened slowly and on your own terms. You weren’t jostled awake by someone carrying you or a soreness deep in your bones. It felt like waking from a normal nap, nothing else.

Rolling over you pressed your face further into the pillow, wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep. Dream. Thats all that had been. The poltergeist. The cellar. Cas.

Just a dream. You were still in your bed in that small inn on the edge of that town in Spain that you didn’t care to remember the name of. You could get up and go down to the cafe for breakfast and forget all about that messed up dream—

“Sam, where the hell did you put that extra box of bandages?!”

It was like running into a wall a full force as true reality slammed into you and your eyes snapped open.The familiar voice being like an icy shock to your system. Not a dream. Not a dream.

No. Nonononononono-

Bolting up straight on the bed, your eyes moved back and forth across the room you were in as you took quick and rapid breaths.No. No. No. No.

There was no doubt about it. You were in the bunker. . . And in your room? Sure the pictures and belongings weren't there since you had taken them with you, but all the furniture was still in it’s proper place. Fortunately the room was unoccupied except for yourself, the voice having come from somewhere else in the bunker.

Dean.

Swallowing thickly you tried to ignore the dryness in your throat as you silently slid of the bed. For so long you imagined what it would be like to come back home, to walk these halls again. You never expected it to happen though. . .yet here you were, standing in your room and listening to the distant voices of the brothers and Cas talking.

So why were you filled with panic from head to toe? That was an easy answer: you had to get out of here as quick as possible before something happened. What if them seeing you broke the contract? What if being close to them terminated it and the demon put them six feet under again? You didn’t want to stick around to find out. You needed to keep them alive. You needed to keep them safe.

Luckily you knew the bunker like the back of your hand. All you had to do was navigate it properly without them seeing you and it was easy as cake.

You crossed the floor silently and with ease, only pausing to look at your reflection in the small mirror above the sink. It was clear to see that you hadn’t washed your hair in awhile and your cheeks were hollower, a couple of bruises peppering your skin here and there. How long has you been in that cellar? Two days? Maybe three? The only thing that was different was you were wearing a clean shirt, one that was at least two sizes too big. Deans probably. You silently thanked yourself for wearing a sports bra underneath it as you turned for the door.

The hallway was quiet when you stepped out into it, your bare feet not making a single sound on the cold linoleum tiles as you quickly dashed down the hallway, pausing every once and awhile to listen for footsteps or voices.

Six doorways to pass and three turns before you could even reach the war room and the door to the outside. Easy peasy. You were quicker and lighter on your feet than you used to be, a skill you had picked up over the past two years that made hunting so much easier.

“I found your damn bandages! They were in the medical kit like they should be!” Sam's voice echoed from up ahead. You sucked in a breath as you quickly stopped outside the doorway to the kitchen, pressing your back agasint the wall before peaking around the corner. Sam's back was fortunately facing the door allowing you to slip by with ease, the bunkers steps now in sight.

Unfortunately you weren’t quick enough to notice the second figure until he had you in a stiff headlock, holding you firmly to his chest.

“Yeah, where do you think you’re going?”

Dean.

Everything in you wanted to spin around and pull him into a hug, tell him you missed him. . . But you knew you would be met with a foreign gaze and that was too much to handle. You had to get away, the more distance between you and him, the better. You muttered an apology under your breath as you quickly stepped back, placing your foot behind Deans, turning and pulling him off balance as you moved out of his grip, the hunter slightly stunned as you threw him to the ground.

“What the-“

You got maybe two steps before he wrapped a hand around your ankle and forcefully tugging you to the floor before clambering back to his feet.

“Really, sweetheart-“ he huffed, slightly out of breath. “trying to run?“

You stopped his speech quickly as you twisted and swept your leg under him, his body hitting the floor again before you moved swiftly, locking his head between your knees.

“Just let me leave. I don’t like hurting you.”

“Ain’t gonna happen. We got questions.” He wheezed.

“Please, I’m begging you. Just let me leave.” Panting, you squeezed a little tighter. If you had to knock him out to leave, so be it.

There were a few seconds of just Dean continuing to struggling in your hold and then he was wheezing out a stiff “fine” and you let go, popping to your feet. He rolled over onto his side once free, coughing violently as he breathed air back into his lungs.

“I’m really sorry.” Giving him one last look you headed for the stairs. Leaving home again. How poetic.

“I am too.” There was scuffle of some sort behind you and before you could react you felt something cold click around your wrist, making you twist on the spot to see Dean clicking the other cuff onto his own arm.

“Let. Me. Go.” You tugged on the chain.

“Like I said before; No.”

You tugged on the cuff again. Hard. “Please, let me go! I just want to leave!” Your fear slowly beginning to rise as you saw the situation you were in. You had to get out of here. If anything happened to him and Sam again you were entirely to blame. Demon deals were strict and you had already been here too long.

“Tell me who you are and maybe I’ll uncuff you.”

You swung at him, but he ducked, swung his own arm around you and just like before you found yourself in another headlock. Struggling against his grip your eyes focused on the door.

Out. You needed to get out.

“Keep on struggling. You’re still weak from whatever the hell happened to you. You’re gonna burn out soon enough.” He sighed, already beginning to feel you give out.

“Please-“ you breathed, feeling the first wave of tears gather in your eyes as Dean slowly sunk to the floor, still holding you firmly in his grasp. Your head fell back against his shoulder, to tired to actually fight. “I need to go. I can’t be here.” You cried. The mixture of being in Deans arms and needing to leave them was turning you into a mess of sobs as you continued to weaken, bare feet sliding on the floor as you tried to keep fighting. “I can’t be here. I won’t let you get hurt again because of me.”

You felt his hold on you loosen at those words, the hunter sucking in a deep breath as he let you go. “What?”

Unfortunately Dean never got an answer because you passed out once more, slumping into his body, too weak to keep fighting against him.

So maybe he didn't have to keep looking for his missing person after all. She was right there in his arms.

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