#mawkish

[fantodsdhrit]

midwinter acacias drown inside me you say please bury yourself

in the snow

as poets salivate after [your] beauty on a leash with lines from gimmicky

postcolonial love poems

oblivious

to their firmaments

within:

delete my words all you [want] but you won't be able to decimate that

stinging temptation

that makes you pull

the strings of your dreamhouse abyss: you recoil because you crave control

absolute control

if someone comes

close

you retreat to your lavish hut: in your abode aching to be held by someone

telling yourself:

we all hide behind screens and touch ourselves when [we] push others away

lonely mirrors

after all

like stale gunpowder

passion is dour when you can't fathom your inside: rattles like the last sip from

salt water yearning:

i finish pages

but no one

bothers to read them: least of all you why do i recall your [gaze] at midnight

when the ceiling pastes

your voice onto

everything literally

everything

[guttervpixie]

cutting the porn bot hydra withb my block button sword but everytim e I do it 2 more appear

[pluralthey]

first sketch commission done in the queue from... february. it's been a hard year

[littleheartsong]

a little birthday present to MYSELF. a bit late haha..... i took a bit longer than i wanted but i was very determined to finish it. OH WELL. i had fun and im happy with how it turned out :o)

[thebroccolination]

Good evening, and welcome to:

Sentimental Hour

I took this screenshot of a gifset almost exactly three years ago. It’s the first thing of WinTeam I ever saw, and it’s the first image of them in my phone’s photo gallery.

I’ve been thinking about them and writing about them ever since I first watched UWMA, and part of me was a little afraid that when Between Us ended, I’d be content with what we got to the point where I wouldn’t want to write about them anymore.

That can happen when your ship is both canon and has their own series! Especially if they aren’t characters in a high-stakes situation or part of a secondary world.

WinTeam are just two university club athletes who hooked up one night and fell in love over the course of months while they helped each other sort through their respective traumatic backgrounds.

But they’re the most compelling pairing I’ve ever loved, and I still can’t fully put into words why. Look at them, though. :’(

Some pairings I love are superheroes, figure skaters, pilots of space lions, ancient warriors, a firefighter and a dude hosting a benevolent alien that gives him neon fire powers—

And yet, for some reason, I don’t even write fic for most of those pairings. I love reading fic about them, but I’ll usually just write one or two and then move on.

WinTeam, though. That’s a Forever OTP for me.

Some of it is BounPrem’s chemistry. Even when they’d just been cast, back when they didn’t know each other and barely liked each other, that chemistry was there. Even in photos, you can feel that they have a rare spark.

And it only got stronger the longer they worked together.

But it’s not just the actors, otherwise the series would have been enough for me. It’s the characters. The way they’re written in Hemp Rope and Between Us, the gentleness they show each other when no one’s around, the way they want to trust each other but they’re so afraid to, the way they reach for each other even though they don’t have a name for what they are.

I love so much about them.

I love that their deepest fears and flaws connect them. At the start of the story, Team has kept so much guilt and pain to himself for so long, he’s just adapted to struggle through it. Meanwhile Win is alone and convinced he always will be.

It may always kick me in the heart that Team’s confession builds up to a vow to take the first steps because he can see that Win is too afraid. And he can do it because Win spent months giving Team every imaginable route to comfort and security, even when it cost him sleep or time or energy that he didn’t have to spare. The beautiful thing is that because of Win’s kindness, Team is strong enough to take the lead from Win, who’s been trying so hard to steer when he’s abjectly terrified of making any mistake with Team.

They’re so balanced. In such an ordinary, quiet way. They’ll never leave each other to falter alone because they both understand how that feels. There’s no question that Team will go to the hospital with his new boyfriend to visit his boyfriend’s brother, just like there’s no question that Win will admit to Team how lost he feels.

I think I just wanted to write this all down because I’m relieved that I found them, and even more relieved that even though the series is over, they’re always going to be part of my heart.

And they’ve raised my standard for love stories forever.

[vvyrmwood]

my character ritzky but um. they are a catboy

[sygiandepths]

The urge to make a bestiary of my object species and subspecies grgghrhgrhggg

[echthr0s]

there's that tweet that says "public libraries are built on the principle that books are so necessary to human flourishing that access to them can't depend on your income" which is a wild statement to me because by that logic you know what should really be accessible independent of income? like, food.

[fantodsdhrit]

it's your [space] you keep me out how could you not: you want the

world

to matter to you you want life and also don't want it: you want it and

don't want it

when you know

everything you say

you don't

know yourself: juggling house of cards: often i find myself writing the [same]

things over and over

when other poets run thin

with nausea and give up i scribble till i reach the bones: with all the laughs

and phone glares

you wouldn't understand when you're sick of being you [you] leap into the

abyss: that prefect

dreamhouse abyss

with scales like our dragon: something is burning no one comes to douse the

flames

with someone else you verify yourself: god! i can't think of something flowery

allegorical

when i write like this: whatever this crude asinine fuming something is:

or

nothing

it's going nowhere i think everyone has everything figured out: [how to] breathe

and taste and

with whom to

share their beds

[gynandromorph]

Dude I can't even quantify how much I miss her. She always gave me this one specific look and her eyes were so full of love

[lesfir]

The kiss of the Ascended Astarion is coming, folks. That means a new batch of fixers poison scrolls.

About the kiss itself, the new movements and phrases afterward if any are to be made.

In repertory:

- He's cringe and gross, ew - His kiss is creepy - He's abjusively kissing - He's manipulatively kissing - It's the honeymoon phase of the abusive cycle - He fakes feelings because Mephistopheles took his soul\all good - Kiss with Cazador 2.0. - It's not Astarion's kiss, it’s a husk's kiss - He not himself anymore - He's mimics feelings because he's stuck in trauma - He's like a True Vampire obsessively kissing, it's not love - He has no feelings, he's incapable of love. - Tav is humiliated in his eyes, he doesn't love - He despises Tav and considers Tav a degenerate pet-property, he doesn't love, the kiss isn't real love - It's an act of possession, not a love-kiss - It's a power play, not a love-kiss - He's kissing misogynistic\plain hateful - *Something passive-aggressive, provocative, snide* - Hot, BUT I love Spawn, his kiss is genuine, true and better wuw - It's sad to see that. Heartbreaking - Pathetic - He closes his eyes, he doesn't love - He opens his eyes, he doesn't love - He has eyes, he doesn't love etc.

This tasteless song is sung about everything the Ascended Astarion does. Generally from those who hate the "romanticization" of dark romances with the vampire-decadent who is Astarion. So it's anything, but one single nice romance with the "evil" man for the "path of evil" (like Minthara) in the game and a sincere kiss of Dark Love.

It's funny if Spawn and Lord kiss is no different. And it's not fair if one of them gets a kiss and one of them doesn't. I hope I didn't miss anything. Post will be edited if so

[bandcampsnoop]

10/26/23.

Thanks to Mawkish Twaddler for buying this - it appeared in my feed because of their purchase. I'd never heard of PO! (Leicester, England), but they fit nicely into my recent listening to The Motifs.

Po! are more of a rock band than The Motifs, and they have an indie pop sound that reminds me of The Aislers Set, and the jangle sounds a bit Smiths-ish in spots.

Ruth Miller created her own label (Rutland Records) and took out a loan to release the work of PO!

[calltainn]

I recently made a new Depression Blob for myself. I find it helpful so I'm sharing the idea here.

The Depression Blob is an ugly blob of oven bake clay about the size of a marble. I threw out my last one a few years ago when my previous long bout of depression was finally over. I recently realised I needed to make a new one, since I've been depressed for about 12 months now and it's really got its claws in.

The purpose of the Depression Blob is to remind me that my depression (a) exists, (b) is an active illness that affects my mood and thoughts, and (c) is not "me".

So when I feel like I hate myself, can't get out of bed all day, think my friends will be bored or annoyed by me, wish I didn't exist, feel like I'll never enjoy anything in my life again, can't think properly, or can't sleep because my sadness is so loud, I look at the Depression Blob and remind myself that those thoughts and experiences are because of it. I think about how it's a lying, sabotaging wee bastard and that one day I'll be able to throw it in the bin.

[littleheartsong]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE answer 7,12, and 17 for mawkish 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏-🦑

aaaa thanks for sending these in!! mawkish my beloved... my darling chew toy...

7. What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?

hrmmmm i wouldnt say 'changed' moreso they 'evolved' which i guess is a fancier way of saying changed lol i will say i made some pretty important changes to their background! as they grew as a character i wanted them to become more interwoven with the world their in instead of just... dropped right in. it felt too jarring just to add tieflings into dunmeshi without their own lore! so i kept expanding and adding new things, conflicts, cultures, cuisine (this is dunmeshi after all) basically all this to say i wanted a reason as to why we dont see tieflings in dunmeshi canon so i made one myself

12. Is your OC self-destructive? In what ways?

after becoming a dungeon lord, the demon consumed mawkish's desire to survive (one their biggest desires as a wildlife survivalist) so they get into very reckless situations without even meaning too! dont worry, with lost desires bloom new ones

17. What is the worst thing you have put your OC through story-wise?

honestly probably their backstory LOL they had it rough since childhood </3 sorry babygirl at least i made it up to them by putting them with chilchuck even though just getting with him is the slowest of burns

[evenstarfalls]

Never really. Share any of my music here. Do I. Maybe I should.