#the thoughts that forcefully enter my head and refuse to leave until i’ve written them down

[oozywoozycon]

HOW ARE PEOPLE FINDING ME THIS IS MY INVISIBLE BLOG HELLO PLS AVERT YOUR EYES

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Love Is Not Forced ~ 25

MASTERLIST

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Word Count: 2,125ish

Summary: Y/N’s days at Hydra aren’t pleasant.

Warnings: This is the darkest thing I’ve ever written. (This and the next 2-3 chapters.) It’s probably not as bad as I’m making it out to be, but I usually don’t write like this or read stuff like this.

Y/N was left alone the rest of the night, which she was extremely grateful for. She tried not to fall sleep, but ended up doing so after wearing herself out by crying. She was startled away by banging on the door of the room before it was swung, forcefully open. The Princess sat up, pressing herself up against the headboard.

“Morning, Princess,” Brock greeted, entering the room. “I hope you slept well on your first night here.” Y/N didn’t answer him, just watched him carefully. “I know that it will take some time for you to get used to this.” Brock slowly came towards her. “But I promise you, after some time, you will enjoy it here. And you will see that we are way better than any of those other kingdoms that you are used to.” Brock came up into Y/N’s face, she cringed and looked away. He forced her chin so that she was facing him. “My father always told me how pretty you were. Seeing you up close just confirms that.” He let go and waltzed to her closet. “We are having a welcome celebration tonight, in your honor.” He looked through the closet, pulling out a black dress. “And I would like you to wear this.” Brock laid set it over a chair. He came back over and set a kiss on her cheek. Y/N tried not to flinch away, fearing what he would do, but it was hard since the kiss was very wet. “I’ll see you tonight.”

Y/N clenched her eyes shut as Brock left the room and the door was locked behind him. She cried all day. Never once stopping, even to eat the food that was brought for her. When it was time to get ready, a woman came in to help her. Scared of disobeying, she willingly changed into the chosen dress. The Princess had never worn a more revealing dress, which made her extremely uncomfortable. 

The servant led her to the dining hall, where everyone was already waiting. They stood from their seats as she entered and Brock quickly made his way to her side, linking his arm with hers.

“Our guest of honor has finally arrived,” Alexander shouted. “And is looking as beautiful as ever.”

Y/N looked around the room to see the faces of those she was joining, as Brock guided her to her seat. She made eye contact with Loki, who gave nothing away on his face, but she quickly looked away. So many had warned her, yet Y/N had chosen to ignore them. And look where that had gotten her. Brock unlinked their arms in order to pull out her chair, and gestured for her to sit down. They had her seated near the head of the table, with Alexander at the head, and Brock across from her. Alexander told them all to start eating. The room suddenly filled with talking, laughter, and the clamoring of dinnerware. Y/N picked up her fork and played with her food, nervous to eat due to fear of her being poisoned.

“Are you not hungry, Princess?” Loki’s voice filled her soul with dread and anger. She looked up to see that he was sitting next to Brock. “You have not eaten all day.”

“I am not feeling very well today,” Y/N responded coldly.

“Oh dear,” Alexander said, setting a hand on Y/N’s arm. “Should I have my doctor come and look at you?”

“No,” Y/N shook her head. “I fear that it cannot be cured by a doctor.”

“Oh?”

“I don’t feel good because I have been kidnapped.”

“Oh, darling,” Brock laughed. “You have not been kidnapped. You have been rescued. You were always meant to be here with us.”

“That’s where you are wrong. I wasn’t never meant to be here because I was never meant to be a Princess.”

“No, dear, that’s where you’re wrong,” Alexander stated. “Princess or not. You would’ve always ended up here. Your parents were some of my most loyal followers, until they refused the arranged marriage to my son.”

“You’re lying! My parents would have never been a part of Hydra.”

“I fear, dear girl, that you did not know your parents well. You come from a long line of Hydra followers. They betrayed me, by not agreeing to your marriage to Brock, so I attacked their village. Which also helped me hurt King Anthony.”

“No! You’re a liar! My family would never be loyal to Hydra!” Y/N stabbed her fork into Alexander’s hand.

The man screamed in pain as Y/N stood up and ran for the door. Brock was too quick for her. He grabbed her roughly by her wrists, as the other guests in the room watched, like nothing was wrong. She winced at the growing pain. Brock slammed her into the door.

“You do not get to be disrespectful, Princess,” Brock seethed.  “This was always your future, to be with me. And I have waited too long for this.” He brought his face closer to hers, which caused her to turn her face away. “Look at me,” he ordered. She refused. “Look at me.” He slammed her against the door again. She looked at him, unable to stop the tears from streaming down her cheeks. “You will learn your place here quickly, or you will suffer the consequences. Understood?” The Princess meekly nodded. “I asked you a question, that means I want a verbal answer.”

“Understood,” she whispered, shakily.

Brock leaned forward and licked the side of her face. “You’re lucky that I’m waiting until we’re married until I ruin you,” he whispered. “I can still have my fun until then though. And I can’t wait to see the looks on King Steven and King Anthony’s faces when they find out what I’ve done.”

“That’s enough, Brock,” Alexander commanded. “Wouldn’t want to scare your bride before the big day. Loki? Care to show our guest back to her room?”

“Absolutely,” Loki responded, quickly coming up beside Brock and Y/N. Brock was still holding onto the Princess, not making a move to let go.

“Let her go, Brock,” Alexander ordered. “You’ll have your chance with her.”

“Have a goodnight,” Brock growled, pressing a kiss to her nose, “Princess.”

As soon as Brock let go, Loki had a hold on Y/N and lead her out of the room. Y/N was struggling not to crumble onto the ground right there. Her legs trembled as Loki led her down the hall.

“Why?” Y/N’s voice shaked, coming out barely above a whisper. “I trusted you…”

“That was foolish of you, Princess,” Loki said. “You had been warned, yet you still foolishly followed me.”

“I thought you cared…”

“I care about Hydra and my blood line here. Nothing else. You should too.”

Back in Brooklyn, all of Asgard’s, Brooklyn’s, Alexandria’s, and Wakanda’s armies had been gathered together. None of the kingdoms were going to stop until Y/N was found, and Loki and Hydra were destroyed. Neither King Steven or King Anthony had slept since the Princess went missing almost three days ago. All of the royals and their Captains had gathered in the ballroom, which now had turned into a command center. There were tables scattered throughout the room, with maps and any information they could gather on Hydra.

“There’s nothing!” Steven yelled, slamming his fist on the table he was standing at. “Loki has left no clues and since Hydra really hasn’t made an appearance for almost ten years, we have no idea where they might be hiding.”

“I say we start sending out groups of guards to search all the kingdoms and surrounded areas,” T’Challa suggested. “That might be the best course of action for now.”

“Hold the plans!” Thor shouted, rushing into the room. “I have just received this package from Asgard. It’s full of Loki’s writings and maps. There might be something that we can use to help locate them.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Captain Barnes asked. “Hand them out.”

Steven looked around the room, trying to find where King Anthony might be. When he spotted him on the balcony, he made his way towards his friend. The older King was leaning forward, arms against the railing, with his head down. As Steven got closer, he could hear the quiet sniffles of the King.

“Asgard sent a package over with some of Loki’s things,” Steven stated, coming up beside his friend. “They’re looking over them now.”

“Loki’s too smart to leave anything out like that,” Tony replied, still looking down.

“Doesn’t hurt with looking.”

“Yes, it does,” Tony said through gritted teeth. “Cause the longer we take, the longer she’s with them. In their hands. And who knows what they’re doing to her!”

“I’m frustrated too, Tony. But we have nothing to go on and we are trying our best to hunt Loki and her down.”

“I just… I can’t help but blame myself. For all of this.”

“I fear that Loki would have gotten to her somehow. He’s a trickster that way. Not all of this is your fault, Tony.” Steven sighed, looking out at the water. “You should have seen her, when she first looked at this view. The way her eyes lit up. I made a promise to myself then and there that that look in her eyes would never leave as long as I could help it… I have failed her too. But we will make it right.” Steven looked over to meet Tony’s sad eyes looking back. “We have to.”

Y/N was locked away for two days without seeing anyone. Food was given to her from underneath the door, but it was all stale or moldy. She spent most of her time crying on the bed, wishing that someone would come rescue her. Knowing her Father, Steven, and even T’Challa, she knew that they were trying their best to find her, and quickly. But also knowing Loki, he would have covered his tracks.

Her door opening, took Y/N out of her thoughts of rescue. Two ladies walked in, one carrying a basket. She curled in on herself, eyes never leaving the two new people.

“Hello, Princess,” one of the women smiled. “We’re here to measure you for your wedding dress.”

Y/N took a breath, trying to muster up some courage. She wasn’t going to let this marriage happen. She was going to postpone this as long as possible.

“No,” the Princess quietly said.

“I’m afraid you don’t have a choice,” the second woman stated.

“Yes, I do. I will not be getting married to that awful man. So, you can go. There will be no measuring today.”

The two women shared a look before leaving. Y/N let out a breath of relief as the door shut. But it wasn’t too long before stomping feet sounded in the hall and the door swung open.

“What is this about you not wanting to get measured for a wedding dress?” Brock snarled.

“I am not getting married,” the Princess stated, trying to hold her ground. “Especially not to you.”

Brock stalked over, grabbing Y/N and flinging her to the floor. “You don’t have a choice. Like I said before, you can make this easier for yourself or harder.” He kicked her in the gut, causing her to curl into a ball. “Now. Shall I let them back in? Are you going to be good?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?” Brock rose an eyebrow at her, challenging her.

Y/N’s courage almost faltered, but she pushed through. “I will never marry you.”

Brock picked her up by her wrists and threw her on the bed. The Princess tried to fight, but failed. Brock knelt over her on the bed and began to punch her face. She screamed in pain as he punched her. When he was done with her face, Brock moved on to her torso. Y/N continued to try to fight back, but grew weaker with every hit. She eventually stopped fighting back, which caused the beating to stop. The Princess couldn’t move as she cried and he still knelt over her. Brock began to kiss the forming bruises that he could see. When he was finished, he smashed his lips to her. Y/N tensed at the unwanted contact. Brock laughed as he left her, bruised and bleeding, on the bed and locked the door behind her.

Y/N’s body ached beyond what she had ever felt before. That didn’t stop her from sobbing though. She sobbed into her blood stained bedding until she passed out.

next chapter >

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[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

Family Fights - Chapter Thirteen

Summary:  Even the strongest bond, the most loving family, can be broken by nightmares, and the librarian is soon to learn this. As she learns sinister things about a person who she had thought was lost forever, she realizes she will need the help of another witch to get her family back.

Notes: Holy cow, only five more chapter till it ends! 

(chpt1) (chpt2) (chpt3) (chpt4) (chpt5) (chpt6) (chpt7) (chpt8) (chpt9) (chpt10) (chpt11) (chpt12) (chpt13)

Being greeted with a smile usually had the effect of brightening someone’s mood considerably. In her current state, though, not even that could distract Maven from the sinking feeling of hopelessness in her heart. When Johanna opened the door to allow them in, anxious to hear about how their day had been, Hilda’s attempt at a smile became a grimace, which immediately gave away that something was wrong. That Maven didn’t even manage to try to return Johanna’s happy greeting was only confirmation.

“What happened?” She asked as she stepped aside so that they could enter. Maven noticed curiously that the woman didn’t even blink at the Thunderbird having returned with them. She was probably used to it at that point.

Hilda and Maven exchanged a look, wordlessly asking each other who should be the one to tell her.

“We found my sister.” The librarian said eventually. At Johanna’s gasp, she sighed and rubbed her temples.

“Your friend found her, actually. He told us where he’d seen her and I went looking for her.”

A pounding was beginning to form in her head. Feeling the sudden need to sit, Maven looked around her for a chair lest her knees gave out under her. Even stunned as she was, Johanna noticed it and guided Maven to the couch, and soon all of them were in the living room.

“Are you okay, miss?” Raven asked, sitting on the couch near her.

“Yeah.” She said and then flinched. The pain was growing quickly, and even speaking made it worse. “I just shouldn’t have gotten up so quickly or used magic after that blow. I think I’m suffering the effects of her spell now.”

Curled in on herself as she was, Maven didn’t see Johanna frown in confusion and worry, but her daughter did.

“Her sister wasn’t too happy about seeing her.” Hilda explained. “She shot some very strong magic at Maven to get her to go away.”

“Oh.” Trying not to make too much noise, Johanna walked up to the librarian and put a hand on her shoulder. When she raised her head to look at her, squinting at the light, for a moment she looked so fragile that Johanna had to hold herself back not to kneel down and hug her.

Johanna was about to offer her help, but Maven spoke first.

“I promise Hilda didn’t get hurt.” She said. She couldn’t lie and say that Hilda had stayed home, but this was something she could assure her without it weighting on her conscience.

Smiling sympathetically, Johanna crossed her arms. She could see clear as the day that her child wasn’t hurt. Her worries at that moment were others.

“I’m glad to hear this, but I was actually going to ask if I can help you in any way.”

It was written in Maven’s face that she hadn’t expected that question. Clearing her throat, she tried to hide her surprise.

“If I could have a cup of tea, that would already be of much help.”

Giving her a thumbs up, Johanna walked to the kitchen to get it ready, and Hilda sat down on the couch’s arm next to Maven.

“Do you want some aspirin for your head?” She asked, making the librarian chuckle even though her skull felt like it could explode at the smallest laughter.

“My head will be fine when I have some tea and cast a counterspell.” She whispered as she rubbed her forehead. “But I’ll accept it, otherwise my back will kill me.”

Hilda grimaced as the image of Maven being thrown out of the tent and to the wood’s ground crossed her mind, making her realize that the librarian must be really good at hiding her pain. Until they arrived at her house, anyone who looked at her would have thought her perfectly well. It made Hilda wonder if her magic protected her from any sort of pain or if she was simply too stubborn to show any weakness.

It was easy to find a pill in the first aid kit her mother kept in her bathroom, and Hilda went back to the living room just in time to see Johanna handing Maven a steaming cup of tea. There were two more cups by the coffee table, all exhalating the sharp aroma of mint. Mother and daughter picked them up and blew on them, watching as Maven murmured something and then took a sip.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that.” Hilda said as the librarian gulped down the tea in a way that made her genuinely concerned. The drink was, after all, very hot.

Maybe she was also part dragon on top of being a witch.

When the whole cup was gone, Maven sighed in relief and sat back against the couch, as opposed to holding her head near her tights like she’d been doing before.

“Sorry for my manners.” She avoided making eye contact with her mother as she spoke, Hilda noticed. “I cast a small enchantment on my tea to make it cure my headache.”

“Oh!” Johanna exclaimed, and by her side Hilda tried to contain her wonder at the glimpse of magic she’d just seen, even if she hadn’t known it was magic. “You could have told me you were doing that, I would have hurried up making the tea.”

“I didn’t want to rush you, and enchantments always stick better to tea than any other beverages.”

Suddenly remembering about the aspirin, Hilda extended her hand to the librarian, who took the pill gladly. After thanking her, Maven swallowed it down without as much as a glass of water.

Soon, Alfur retired in order to get the day’s paperwork in order and Raven flied away, leaving the three of them sitting around the living room, their minds clouded with thoughts.

“How close am I to being able to help you?” Hilda asked, deciding that beating around the bush would serve her for nothing. She’d been excited to learn magic and be a witch, but that evening she’d seen exactly why what Maven was trying to do was so important. And she’d seen how bad things could get if they failed.

Even with two pairs of eyes on her, Maven couldn’t help but recoiling into herself, looking out the window. During all the walk to her apprentice’s house, she had tried to avoid asking herself one crucial question: what use would helping Myra be if she didn’t want to be helped? The Soul Spell would create what they needed, but it wouldn’t certify Myra’s humanity once more.

It was no use giving a gift to someone who refused it.

They could keep this up for as long as it was necessary, but in the end it might as well have been futile. And most important of all, she was submitting Hilda to a path of mystery and danger - because as much as she would like to, she couldn’t deny that being a witch was dangerous, and her current situation was proof - while it could be useless. And it would be incredibly selfish of her to endanger a child for the chance to save her sister, a chance that she could now see was small.

“I’m not so sure you should help me, Hilda.” She said after hesitating for a long while. “I need to be honest with you. And the truth is, Myra won’t come back if she doesn’t choose to herself. You might go through all the training, face all the hardships of becoming a witch only to find out your effort resulted in nothing. And I can’t let you do that. So if you want an advice, go back to your normal life. You’re safer that way.”

Stunned silence took over the room, until they heard the sound of one of the cups being put forcefully on the table.

“No.” Johanna said decidedly, making Maven startle and look at the woman. Though she expected some resistance from Hilda, Johanna was the last person she’d thought would speak up.

“I know at the beginning, this was all about helping your sister.” She continued with her hands set confidently on her waistline. “And I know that is still your final goal. But… that’s not all there is to it anymore. I’ve seen how much Hilda loves magic, and how clearly it is a part of her. I understand you’re trying to protect her. I want her to be safe too. But we can’t deny her a part of herself, just like we can’t exclude the possibility that this whole thing might work in the end.”

There was a mixture of confusion and hope in the librarian’s eyes as she looked at Johanna. It felt like they’d had this conversation so many times before. So many times, one of them had had second thoughts about the path they were following, only to decide that it was the right one. And Hilda wasn’t about to allow this time to be any different.

“I’m not Myra.” She said, seeing surprise become even more evident in Maven’s features. “I know you love her, but you don’t have to worry about the same thing happening to me. I won’t hate you if you make a mistake. I won’t hate myself if I’m not enough. I’m not fragile, Maven.”

It was hard to tell since the librarian looked away from Hilda for a breath, but the girl was quite certain she’d seen tears gathering on her eyes. They were gone when she looked back, a timid smile on her face instead.

“I know, kid. I know you are. But is this really the choice you’ll make? Do you really want to continue?”

Johanna and Hilda exchanged a look, and she smiled encouragingly at her daughter.

“I do. I can protect myself, and even if I can’t, I know you will.”

Reaching behind Hilda to get to Maven, Johanna squeezed Maven’s arm and smiled affectionately.

“Hilda couldn’t have wished for a better master, and nor I for a better friend.”

That night, Maven was once again invited to have dinner with them. For that time, they allowed themselves to forget about demons and curses and danger, sharing light-hearted stories about their friends and jobs. Everything was peaceful as they bid the librarian good night and later when Johanna sent Hilda off to sleep. And it was only when she knew for sure that her daughter was sleeping soundly that Johanna tip-toed inside her daughter’s room and knocked on the clock she kept on her shelf.

“Alfur, do you still remember where Maven’s sister was?” She whispered when the elf opened the clock’s face and came out, sleepily rubbing his eyes.

“I do. Why do you ask?”

Johanna hesitated for just a second before taking a deep breath.

“I’m going to need you to help me.”

_#_#_#_#_

Living in the city, Johanna didn’t get many opportunities to use the skills she’d learned as a child with the Sparrow Scouts. That night, however, as she climbed the walls that surrounded the Huldrawoods and marked the threes she passed by with chalk, so as not to get lost, she needed all the skills she could remember.

Her belly fluttered with fear as Alfur whispered her the way from his spot on her ear. If Maven had been left in such a miserable state after her encounter with Myra, what chance did Johanna have against her? With no magic or weapons, her only protection was the Tourmalated Quartz necklace the librarian had given her, which she’d taken from her bedside table before leaving.

Luckily, picking a fight with the nightmare spirit was not what she was planning on doing. She’d always believed that dialogue was the best way to solve things, and judging by how her daughter managed to gain the trust of magical creatures time and time again, she was certain she was right. Now, even though she knew that her results would hardly be meaningful, she hoped that dialogue would serve her for something.

“There it is.” Alfur said nervously when they saw a tent. From its inside came a green light, almost blinding in the gloom of the moonlit forest, and a girly voice.

“My goddess, My Niorun...” The voice said, making Johanna catch her breat. She knew that name. Niorun, she remembered, was who Maven had told her the Marra got their powers from. What she was hearing was a prayer, one that continued.

“As I rise up to do my duty by you tonight, may the gifts you awarded me remain, may the people of this town slumber so that my sisters and I may be able to bring your blessings to them. My goddess, as my soul is always at your side, may your blessings be by mine until moonfall.”

With each word, the light from inside became stronger, until Johanna was squinting to look at the tent. Suddenly, the girl emerged, not looking like a girl at all. Her feet didn’t touch the ground, her pupils were green, and almost imperceptible sparks surrounded her. Either by some use of magic or just plain perceptiveness, she immediately noticed Johanna’s presence.

At that point, it would be useless to jump behind a tree to hide herself, so she tried to make it clear that she wasn’t there to cause any harm by putting her hands in front of her chest, where the marra could see them. After an initial moment of shock, which she hasted to hide, Myra crossed her arms and raised a single eyebrow in cocky askance.

“I, uh, good night!” Johanna said clumsily. “I was wondering if I could talk to you.”

She ran her eyes up and down Johanna, sizing her up. It gave her the uncomfortable feeling of being once again a teenager trying to gain the acceptance of the girls in her class, but she tried to ignore it.

“What the hell are you doing here?” She asked in a monotone, sounding bored even though this was clearly not an usual occurrence for her.

Deciding on taking the most direct path, Johanna made herself stand taller, resisting the urge to clutch at the stone of her necklace to assure herself that she had something protecting her.

“I’m here because of your sister.”

The statement made Myra bare her teeth immediately, and her eyes shined even greener. Before she had a chance to attack, though, Johanna spoke again to try and fix her mistake.

“She didn’t send me! I didn’t come here to hurt you, I just want to understand.”

Lowering her guard enough to tranquilize Johanna, Myra huffed.

“There’s nothing for you to understand, human. Just don’t stay between my sister and I, it’s better for you.”

When the marra began to float away, Johanna hopped in front her, successfully blocking her path. For that moment, it was enough to keep her in place.

“Please, I just want to know why you’re resisting your sister so much! She’s only trying to help!”

Maven had told them some of the reasons that had made Myra turn away from her family, but nothing in depth, and they hadn’t wanted to ask either as it seemed to bring her so much pain. But Johanna couldn’t honestly say she saw what was so appealing in a Marra’s life that kept her so stubbornly in that road.

“The witch” She hissed, anger returning to her and making her voice pitch higher. “Doesn’t want to help me, never has. She wants to keep me in a cage. She wants me to be just like her and live and die by some stupid rules made up by some idiots in pointy hats who thought they were better than everyone!”

Johanna took a step back, surprised at the outburst. She didn’t believe what she heard. She now knew too much about Maven to think she’d ever force her sister to be anything at all, but she did know enough to recognize that Maven could easily be misinterpreted, withdrawn and apathetic as she could seem.

“Your sister doesn’t want you to be a witch! She just wants you to be you!” Johanna said, feeling a wave of courage wash over her. Suddenly, ropes of green light tied her wrists and forcefully pulled her closer to the girl, their faces close together. With the short distance, Johanna was forced to stare into her eyes, a shiver running down her spine as she did so.

The eyes were the window to the soul. As she looked in the girl’s inhuman pupils, Johanna could find none.

“This is my last warning.” She said, seeming to be trembling with rage. “If you, or Maven, or anyone else shows up, I will not show them as much kindness. Now go back to her and be grateful I spared you.”

The woman was released as Myra turned into a cloud of green smoke and ran away into the trees, ready to begin her haunting. Having to admit defeat, Johanna followed the chalked trees back to the gates. When they arrived home, Alfur was already asleep on her hair, and she left him on the couch so as not to risk wakening Hilda up by leaving him on her room.

As she got ready to lie down, the last thing she did was taking off her necklace. She realized with some wonder that a few of the spikes of tourmaline seemed to have become thinner, and came to understand what happened when she saw specks of green on them. The crystal had absorbed some of the magic Myra had used to tie her.

It took her long to fall asleep that night. Only one thing was certain at this point: if this problem was to be solved, Maven was right to believe that nothing but magic would do it.