#the time the avatar series became game of thrones for a few minutes

[danvssomethingorother]

I know some people in the fandom don’t like “The Search” and thought it ruined Ursa’s character and to an extent I understand why, but I really loved it and how it turned Ursa more into a person then the saint mother figure.

Her and Ozai hating each other and going out of their way to spite the other explains so much about how Azula and Zuko treat each other. It feels less like the parents pushing them apart and more like each sibling took a side in this fight. Ursa doesn’t want to drag Zuko into the conflict so she probably tried to down play it around them but I see Ozai as the type to vent how much he hates his wife to Azula.

It felt real to me. Ozai going out of his way to convince himself Ursa cheated and Zuko isn’t his felt like an abusive husband. It also gives some look into why Ozai treats Zuko like shit.

Ursa being forced to give up her parental rights to both kids even the one Ozai hates also felt so real and tragic. Ozai had the money and power and in a real world divorce Ursa would have been left in this place too.

I think it is too real to any kid who came from a broken family cause that’s exactly what it looks like.

[myupostsheadcanons]

Books “Read” in 2020

Previous entries: 2019, 2018, 2017

I don’t rank these based on actual literary quality, but by how much i enjoyed reading/listening to them. Hopefully with Audible’s new “Premium Included” feature it would cut down on so many Average/Below Average books next year, it’ll give me more of a choice on what kind of books/podcasts i want to listen to rather than given a handful to pick from a month.

The “Top 10″

Forging Hephaestus / Bones of the Past: Villains' Code Series - Drew Hayes has became one of my fav authors over the past couple years, from his Vampire Accountant series, 5-min Sherlock, and his Spells, Swords, and Stealth books. FH is one of the few times he wrote Adult Fiction. This is the second time Drew created a world of super heroes (the YA Superpowereds), thus previous experience in dealing with the nuisances and meta of super meta dynamics. I love the main character, Tori, and especially love many of the side characters (like Ivan) and the comedy is the right tone of dark and not-in-your-face (not quite as well -written as something like The Venture Bros or The Tick, but being adult fiction you can get away with having characters named Johnny Three-Dicks and Captain Bullshit)

Dreadnought / Sovereign - the second super hero series I’ve placed on my top list this year, this one is Young Adult. This one is far more serious and deals heavily in issues like trans and women’s rights, mental abuse, and social acceptance. The main character is full of angst, but that should be a given for a 15 yo with lots of mental baggage and new social pressures. The main character is the main draw, most of the side characters are a bit more one-dimensional.

The Trouble with Peace: Age of Madness, Book 2. It isn’t a “First Law” book if you don’t want to strangle half of the main characters. Many are stepping outside of the shadow of the previous generation and finding themselves falling flat on their faces. If they aren’t at each other’s throats, they would soon have to deal with rebellion in the streets and the constant looming presence of Bayaz, who waits to sweep the board clear and rearrange the pieces the way he sees fit.

Michael J. Sullivan’s: The Riyria and Legend of the First Empire Books.

Riyria Revelations: Theft of Swords / Rise of Empire / Heir of Novron

Riyria Chronicles: The Crown Tower / The Rose and Thorn / The Death of Dulgath

Age of Death / Age of Empyre, Pile of Bones

After finishing the Legend of the First Empire books that came out earlier this year, I went ahead and read the prior series that takes place in the same world. I would suggest reading the entire series by Publish order, but they can be read Chronologically. I read the Legends books first, and it helped me see where Sullivan was heading and when he started to plan out the Legends books in more detail. (The early cameo of the Main characters from Legends in a mural in Heir of Novron, and knowing who is behind the events in Dulgath)

The Dresden Files: Peace Talks / Battle Grounds - They really should be read as one book, because that was how they were written. It is a Feast of Crows / Dances with Dragons situation, where the book got too long and got split up. The fans are pretty divided by the book(s) ending and how some of the main characters are handled, but these are Jim Butcher’s characters not theirs and he can drop bridges on whom ever he wants.

What Lies Beyond: Cycle of Galand, Book 6 - This is a “mythology” book (like Sullivan’s Age of Death was) where it introduces most of the Pantheon of their religion and corrects much of the mythology that had been lost over the decades. They seek a weapon to vanquish the Litch and save their world and the afterlife from oblivion, but not all of their Gods are happy about it.

Will Destroy the Galaxy for Cash - Yahtzee (Zero Punctuation!) has to be one of my favorite internet personalities for the past 10+ years, and I eat up every book he puts out and because he wrote the books, and is an actor himself, he could deliver the lines as they are intended to be. The sequel to Will Save the Galaxy for Food does not disappoint and even ups the stakes from the previous book.

The Girl Who Drank the Moon - This has to be one of the most charming books I’ve read. It is magic and wonder at it’s finest, no need for long explanations on how the world works. If you like Ghibli movies, you’ll be interested in this book. It has its dark moments but isn’t outside of what you’ll find in something like Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, and Nausicca.

The Goblin Emperor - the youngest son of the Elf King finds himself emperor after the death of his father and brothers in an assassination. The only problem is, that he is only half-elf... his late mother was a Goblin, and he had been in exile as an embarrassment to the family for most of his life. He knows nothing of how the courts work and what’s left of his own family work against him just for being who he is.

Lost Gods: Brom - I liked this book more than I did American Gods (which I read a few years ago). It is darker and bleaker by the bucket loads. One of the few books with a downer ending that I actually liked. I would compare this book to books like All the Pretty Horses and No Country for Old Men-- but it is a Fantasy!

Above Average.

Siege Tactics (Spells, Swords, & Stealth. Book 4)  - What happens to adventurers after they retire? A fun concept that is explored with our party of NPCs running across a town full of epic-level characters that no longer have a player.

The Arthurian Saga - The Crystal Cave / The Hollow Hills  / The Last Enchantment / The Wicked Day - A more realistic version of the Arthurian tales, taking the POV of Merlin, bastard son of a princess, as he earns notoriety as a scholar and wizard.  The Wicked Day takes the POV of Mordred, making him far more sympathetic than other iterations of his character.

Arc of a Scythe - Scythe / Thunderhead / The Toll - Science and Technology eliminates death and in order to prevent over population and complacency an order of grim reapers are chosen to randomly deal out quotas of permanent deaths. An example of what happens when every need and want is satisfied by a higher force and the apathy that causes rot in human society and the superiority complex of those in charge of life and death.

The Diviners / Lair of Dreams / Before the Devil Breaks You / The King of Crows - Horror during the Roaring 20′s. Tackles issues as Racism, Poverty, Government Secrecy, Christian-Evangelical Cults, Nationalism Cult Mentality, Communism, Labor Unions, Eugenics, Post-WW1 trauma... It could almost pass as an adult fiction book. I wouldn’t recommend giving it to someone under High school age.

Ancillary Justice / Ancillary Sword / Ancillary Mercy - Artificial Intelligence takes over human bodies as a form of capital punishment, controlling ships and space stations. The dominate human empire outgrew the need to label any gender, using “she” to refer to everyone rather than the vaguer “them/they” pronouns, and only outlying colonies stick to the binary ideals. Think of “The Left Hand of Darkness” but on a more broader scale and as the default majority/ruling empire. Toss in a solid military action novel on top and it isn’t nearly as boring as Left Hand.

Children of Time / Children of Ruin - War destroys the human population of Earth and those that remain are the ones that headed out to the stars on tera-forming missions. A virus created to advance life forms to prepare a world for human habitation runs amuck with out its overseers, creating intelligent arachnids, crustaceans, and squid.

The Licanius Trilogy - The Shadow of What Was Lost / An Echo of Things to Come / The Light of all that Falls -  It is very heavy on info overload, there is a lot to keep track of, so much so there is a summary of book one and two at the start of the third. I like the twist at the end of the first book and that the villain is actually trying to help save the world, and you spend most of the second stuck between who thinks they are doing the right thing and who is actually doing the right thing - a lot to talk about doing the lesser of two evils.

Mythos - Steven Fry - A humorous retelling of Greek mythology. I read Mythology - by Edith Hamilton prior to this book, which is a more scholarly take on the myths, and helps if you are unfamiliar with classical mythology prior to reading Fry’s take on it.

Iron, Fire and Ice: The Real History That Inspired Game of Thrones - a nice history book about Iron Age royalty. It is actually refreshing to read after going through so much faux fiction that is in Philippa Gregory’s books.

Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? - Children ask questions to a Mortician about death and what happens to bodies after people die. I listened to her autobiography last year/year before and it is worth picking up this one along with it.

Average, but still good.

Jack Campbell’s Lost Fleet Universe: Triumphant (Genesis Fleet, Book 3) / Tarnished Knight: Lost Stars, book 1 - The realistic space battles just drag me back in each and every time.

The Case of the Damaged Detective: 5-Minute Sherlock - Drew Hayes can’t write a boring book. It isn’t quite on point as his other series, but still fun to read. Hayes is really good at making YA books with Adult Protagonists. It is a road-trip book, the main character is a washed-out operative that is getting his second chance playing bodyguard and future assistant to the 5-minute Sherlock.

Locked In / Head On - Do you remember “Surrogates”? that Bruce Willis movie where people walk around in robotic avatars, well... it’s almost the same thing. A virus kills millions, save for a select few that experience “lock in” syndrome and are able to connect to robots via their brains and the internet.  The main character is gender neutral and you get a choice to listen to the book with a male or female reader.

Murder by Other Means: The Dispatcher Book 2 - more John Scalzi! The first book was in my top list a few years ago, and i enjoyed the sequel just as much. Between Scalzi’s The Dispatcher and Locked In series, i like the Dispatcher more.

The Shattered Sea Trilogy: Half a King / Half the World / Half a War - Joe Abercrombie’s attempt to make Young Adult books. It keeps all the grim dark, but lacks all the swearing and humor that made The First Law books more enjoyable. Many of Joe’s favorite character tropes are still present and is one of the better “Fall to Darkness” stories I’ve read. It also has different POV characters each book and is one of those “faux fantasy” settings.

Mage Errant: Books 1, 2 & A Traitor in Skyhold: Book 3 - If you are wanting to get away from Harry Potter, pick up this book series. It takes place in magic school, but it is its own world and setting and not just a hidden world within our own. The main group of kids are misfits among the school, unable to master their powers, that get taken up by the badass librarian to be trained in more unconventional ways.

Dawn of Wonder: The Wakening Book 1 - the main character has ptsd from growing up in an abusive household, and i thought it was handled rather well. He would be rather competent and cleaver most of the time until he gets triggered into an episode, he fights really hard to overcome this short-falling of his. Standard classic affair else wise, family leaves home because the local authority figure doesn’t want them around anymore, goes to big city, kid wants to do good and avenge the deaths he was accused of, joins the badass school of hard knocks...  big powerful evil thing trying to consume the world.

The Rage of Dragons - It shares a lot of tropes and story points with Red Rising... just in a fantasy setting, not in space. If you are wanting fantasy with POC main characters and a non-European-centric culture, that doesn’t pull any punches, give it a shot.

Earthsea - Tehanu and Tales from Earthsea - I had read the first three books several years back, and i did re-read them in order to refresh myself prior to reading the final two.

The Secret Garden - I absolutely loved the movie from the 90′s as a kid, and finally got around to listening to the book.

Six of Crows - A heist book in fantasy world with the magic users being heavily “Jewish / Slavic” coded by how they are treated and persecuted. I might have thought more favorably about the book if i hadn’t read other books with “street rat slum” main characters. (Seriously, after spending six books with Royce in Riyria someone like Kas is just second bananas)

Unconventional Heroes / Two Necromancers - Comedic Fantasy, the humor’s not on par with say MogWorld, and has more jokes than Fred The Vampire Accountant. It is still a parody of villains and heroes in fantasy worlds. I would find it safe for a 12/13yo to read, cursing and all, though they might not be aware of many of the tropes that are being deconstructed. The reader of the book did better in this one then he did with Six of Crows and Beezer, still the audio needed some editing because it repeats itself a few times.

Once More Upon A Time (Free Audio Book)  - I don’t always care to read romance stories. I like the idea behind it however, to trade their love for each other in order to save their partner’s life, then learn to re-love one another again.

Monster Hunter International - If you think Dresden is too liberal, this takes a hard turn to the right.. replace the magic with GUNS, lots and lots of GUNS. An organization that hates the government but hunts monsters for government bounties. The main cast is multi-ethnic and they do make fun of that at one point. There isn’t a lot of thought into the plot, because action is #1, but it is fun enough to ignore the politicking.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Collection - i bitched about there not being an omnibus last year, and then Audible uploaded one. The ending is still one big clusterfuck.

Stephen King’s Insomnia - this book is the bridge between Steven King’s two universes. It is a sequel to IT and brings up the Darktower often. IT dealt mainly with childhood fears, Insomnia deals with Elderly and feminine fears.

D’Arc / Culdesac: War with No Name - I liked D’Arc more than i did Mort-e, and Culdesac is more on track with Mort-e. The virus that mutated the ants and animals reminded me of the virus from Children of Time/Ruin, even though i read Mort-e first, reading D’Arc after CoT let me notice it.

Michael McDowell’s:  The Amulet / The Elementals / Gilded Needles / Blackwater - From the guy that wrote the screenplay of Beetlejuice, and the pioneer of the Southern Gothic Horror. Gilded Needles is a bit out of place, taking place in 1890′s, and is more of a social horror rather than a super natural horror the other books are.

Gardens of the Moon: The Malazan Book of the Fallen, Book 1 - high fantasy dark fiction. if you really want some CHONKY door stoppers, there’s over 10 of them in this series. Could’ve done less with the manipulative bastard mage that speaks in 3rd person. I had read The Willful Child, an attempted comedy science fiction novel by the same author, and it showed that the author was unfamiliar with that kind of genera and should stick to grim fantasy.

The Knife’s Edge / Citadel of Fire: The Ronin Saga - This is one of those series that I’m always going “oh, that reminds me of [insert another better series]”  At times it reminded me of The Licanius Trilogy, Shades of Magic, Arc of Scythe, Riyria, Korra... It is just shy of being as good as them, and is rather firmly in that Sci-Fi Fantasy Ghetto and has a bit of “anime” feel to it with their magic users having ‘power levels’ and the power creep. 

In Calabria - My only problem with the book is the massive age-gap between the Main character and his love interest. Outside of that, the whole Unicorns in the modern world concept is done very well.

Pout Neuf (Audible Free Book)  - Journalism and romance during WW2. A quick read and the book really shows that research had been done about the setting and time period.

Nut Jobs: Cracking California's Strangest $10 Million Dollar Heist: An Audible Original - Not only does it talk about the heist, it actually touches on the subject of migrant farmers and slave labor, as well as the desertification of the California Valley.

The Science of Sci-Fi: From Warp Speed to Interstellar Travel (Free Audio Book) - a neat little informative podcast if you are looking for an introduction to some of the harder science fiction.

Mythology - by Edith Hamilton - Text book about Greek Mythology. Like “used in schools” text book. It is a good read if you don’t want to go through Ovid, Virgil, Homer, and all the other classical writers on your own.

The Space Race: An Audible Original - America didn’t win the Space Race. Russia did just about everything first. The only thing we did first was put people on the moon. It also goes into detail about how the inventor of the Nazi’s V2 rockets became employed with the US Space program. As well as the government’s announcement to let space travel become privatized.

Pale Blue Dot / Cosmos: A Personal Voyage - It’s Carl Sagan. Come on! Everyone should be reading them. Pale Blue Dot was being turned into an Audiobook in the 90′s but with Sagan’s death, only the first few chapters were read by him and his partner reads the rest of it (she does a decent job, and i understand why they wanted her to read it, it should’ve been done similarly to Cosmos, with guest readers doing each chapter)

Thicker Than Water (Free Audio Book)  - start up pharmaceutical company scams people out of millions with promises of a miracle machine that was ahead of its time. Story told from the whistleblower himself as he recounts what his job was within the company and how he knew the owner/founder of the company and how coming out about what was going on ruined his relationship with his family and friends.

Don't Panic: Douglas Adams and the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - biography on Douglas Adams and the history behind the creative process behind the Hitchhiker’s Guide series.

The Genius of Birds - It reminded me a lot of “The Soul of an Octopus” in quality. It is rather informative about birds, how they behave, and how we judge intelligence in non-human animals.

It’s “ok.”

Les Miserabes - I can see why people favor movies and theater versions because of how dense the book is, getting the cliff notes version of the book instead of reading several chapters about the Battle of Waterloo. 

Viva Durant and the Secret of the Silver Buttons (Audible Free Book) - It’s cute, and I spent the next several weeks humming that freaking song.

Challenger Deep - A book about mental illness by the same person that brought us The Arc of a Scythe series. It isn’t a bad read, but if you are prone to get panic attacks and have mental illness yourself, you might get too into it and make you uneasy. It can help with neurotypical people with understanding how some illnesses work.

Into the Wilds (Warriors, Book 1)  - Ah, the cat book. It is prob because there are soooo many books in this series that it over-saturates the kids impressionable minds.

House of Teeth (Audible Free Book)  - I read this book prior to Monster Hunter International, and thinking back on this one, i am reminded about the other. Save for this one is PG. So... the kid friendly version.

The Martian Chronicles - Space Horror, on Mars. If you like old science fiction, like Classic Trek, Wells, or Forbidden Planet stuff. There is a lot of zerust.

Andrea Vernon and the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection - The third superhero series I’ve read this past year. It is not as ground breaking nor subversive as Villain’s Code or Dreadnought. The humor is a bit too forced and parts of it falls into “we can be more offensive because it is an adult book” category.

Interview with the Robot - Don’t really care for books or programs that are set up in the “interview” format where it is two people talking to one another. (I have no fucking idea how this book got top Kids book of the year on Audible, it is more of a YA book... it must been because it was Free and lots of people picked it because the rest of the choices that month were complete garbage)

Micromegas - perhaps one of the oldest examples of Speculative Science Fiction. Written by Voltaire, it is about a giant from another solar system that is so big that humans and life on Earth are microscopic. “what value are the lives of ants to a man?”

The Three Musketeers - i had forgotten how much espionage there was in this book. I would say this is a good companion book to Don Quixote, as it takes its fair share of inspiration from and even name-drops the character a couple times. 

Charles Dickens: Oliver Twist / David Copperfield / A Tale of Two Cities - DC is the standout IMO among the three, it is Dickens’ Magnum Opus. Les Mis did a far better job with the Revolution than Tale did as well. I felt rather obligated to reading these books because of the subplot in the Age of Madness books being about Poverty during the Industrial Revolution and Workers Revolts against the Ruling Class.

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea - the version i listened too made most of the Americans sound like GWB... which is funny because one of them is Canadian, and the Comic Relief character about how boorish Americans are.

Stuck (Free Audio Book) -  it is a neat idea, getting jarred free of time but everybody else isn’t and doesn’t remember. It gets a little heavy for a kids book near the end, edging into YA territory as the character gets older mentally and the people around him age physically.

Phreaks (Free Audio Book) - i knew a lot about Captain Crunch and other phone hackers of the 60′s. There is a subplot of the big radioactive corporation covering up causing cancer to their workers, and the father (voiced by Christian Slater) being in the closet but still homophobic about it.

Silverswift (Free Audio Book) - If you like fairy tales set in modern times, it is worth a look. It is similar to In Calabira in that way. The mom being the nonbeliever and thinking grandma is off her rocker, but the granddaughter knows it in her bones that grandma is telling the truth.

Sleeping Giants - alien mechs from the distant past, once mistaken as the titans and gods form mythology, now being studied and experimented on by the government. This is another “interview style” story telling.

Celtic Mythology: Tales of Gods, Goddesses, and Heroes - there is a lot of names and stories, it is worth prob getting a physical copy of the book to keep things straight and to use as a reference.

How to Defeat a Demon King in Ten Easy Steps - A love letter to The Legend of Zelda’s Ocarina of Time and other RPG games.

Casino Royal: James Bond - the movie was rather faithful, including the part of being tied to a chair. I do wish they kept more of the book’s ending where Bond was ready to retire prior to his secret-spy love interest gets killed.

Aliens: Bug Hunt - a compilation of Alien stores about people landing on various planets and encountering aliens, not always the Xenomorphs we know, but the term “Bug” came synonymous to any dangerous alien lifeforms encountered.

Macbeth: A Novel - retelling the story of Macbeth but in a novel form. If you can’t get past the language of the original play, this would help. It sets it more firmly in historical fiction.

Hannibal: A Novel -  I went ahead and re watched the tv show after finishing the book. I’ve seen the movie a dozen times, and i understand why they changed the ending to the movie. The book is the main one that characterizes Hannibal and the show uses a lot of the plot. Hannibal Rising wasn’t really needed because Hannibal (in this book) does think/talk about what happened to his sister and home, and i can see why Harris didn’t want to write that book either. The audiobook is rather poor quality, they talked too fast in places and i don’t really care for their acting...

The Power of Six - I read I am Number 4 several years back and this one popped up on sale so i nabbed it. I like Neil Kaplan, and i think this one is better than the first one and actually gets into the meat of the story.

Cut and Run: A Light-Hearted Dark Comedy - body parts harvesting.... mmmm.

Calypso - non-Fiction, biography of the author. Talks about his family, his life with his partner, and what he does. Much of it is charming and it is read by the author. this was prior to him loosing his marbles about retail workers and becoming a karen.

Our Harlem: Seven Days of Cooking, Music and Soul at the Red Rooster - the history of Harlem and the Harlem Renaissance. I didn’t mind this podcast so much because i was reading The Diviners during the same time.

Malcolm and Me - another biographical book. one of the free books i got during Feb’ Black History Month.

History of Bourbon (Free Audio Book) - Informative about the liqueur industry in America.

Junkyard Cats: Shining Smith Book 1 - post apocalyptic action science fiction novel. the moment that guy showed up i was “that’s your bf.” and it was so... the plot wasn’t hard to figure out, it’s all about the action and setting.

The Moon is a Harsh Mistress - One of the better Heinlein books. The man can’t write romance and he is rather big on casual polygamy and open marriages. An anarchist-revolution book written by someone that is more on the Libertarian side of the aisle. Mycroft (the computer) comes off as rather antiquated, an AI that runs on a closed server, communicating through the telephone lines and printed paper, makes me wonder what Heinlein would’ve done if he was told about the internet and Deep Fake tech. (the book takes place in like 2075, but written in 1966)

Caffeine: How Caffeine Created the Modern World - the production of coffee and it’s prevalence around the world.

The Life and Times of Prince Albert - Exactly what it says on the can. *rimshot*

The Real Sherlock: An Audible Original - a biography of Sir. Arthur Conan Doyle.

The Design of Everyday Things - using psychology to improve the design of systems, products, and the modern business model.  It gives proper terminology for several common design features and how to improve on existing structures.

Bottom of the Barrel.

The Pagan World: Ancient Religions before Christianity. I was hoping there would have been something in there about European Religions, there isn’t, and the book was mostly Greek and Roman life styles and how gods are worshiped. It let me know where the word “auger” came from and why it was used in the Licanius Trilogy.

Life Ever After - disjointed at best. a couple that aren’t good for each other spend the next several hundred years in a crappy relationship.

Beyond Strange Lands: An Audible Original - The audio was complete crap on half of the voices. Which is bad because this could’ve been better. It is a Pod Cast Show and the director couldn’t make sure everybody had decent recording equipment and the sound effects often drown out the actors.

Henrietta & Eleanor: A Retelling of Jekyll and Hyde: An Audible Original Drama - They were going for a modern telling, but the language used is archaic. They speak like Dickens characters even though they talk about cellphones and computers.

A Crazy Inheritance: The Ghostsitter book 1 - The concept is there, but it is too nerfed. It was made for the 8-12yo crowd in mind by people that don’t know how to write for children.

Tell Me Lies (Free Audio Book) - It really wants to be smart. Who’s playing who and who is the actual villain of this story? If you want a quick “who done it?” maybe look into it.

Evil Eye (Free on Audible Plus) - told through phone calls between a mother and daughter. The whole genera of evil boyfriends/husbands isn’t really my cup of tea, and the boyfriend’s actor was too fake and the set up to the meat of the story was annoying.

The Half-life of Marie Curie - I didn’t mind learning stuff about Marie Curie... falls squarely in “made for TV lifetime movie” quality though. You should not carry around a vile of uranium where ever you go.

Alone with the Stars - A girl in Florida hears the call for help from Amelia Earhart, but nobody listens to her. Part fiction, part biographical. It would’ve been better as a biography and talking about various conspiracy theories about what happened to her and finding the pieces of the airplane.

Beezer - The son of the Devil learning to become a good person with a found family... however, most of the characters are annoying.

The Year of Magical Thinking (Free Audio Book) - very heavy on the subjects about loss and death.

Complete Garbage.

The Getaway (Free Audio Book) - A man being a POS by stalking and abducting women. It broadcasts just about everything that is going to happen.

Agent 355 (Free Audio Book)  - Do you like “American Mythology?” Like the whole “the founders are the greatest people in the world” kind of vibe? I don’t. I also hate the main character for being one of those “i’m smart, because i read books that women aren’t supposed to” girls when she doesn’t really think for herself at all.

[violethowler]

A Farewell To The Clone Wars

Yesterday was the end of an era

After 11 years and 104 days

After a theatrical movie, a novel, a comic miniseries, 8 incomplete story reels, and 133 episodes

After 49 hours and 12 minutes of incredible, heartbreaking, beautifully animated television….

Ended, The Clone Wars have.

I watched all of the existing Star Wars movies on DVD when I was a kid, but I was never particularly enamored with them the way that others are. And then in August 2008, I went to the local movie theater with my grandmother to see an animated movie that – while I didn’t know it at the time – would chart the course of my future for years to come.

While a lot of the general Star Wars fandom looks down on the theatrical Clone Wars movie as weak and lackluster, 11-year-old me loved every minute of it. I’ve been obsessed with animation my entire life, and around 2 years before the theatrical release of Star Wars: The Clone Wars, I had just begun to explore the world of animation outside of my childhood Disney bubble, diving headfirst into SpongeBob and Avatar and Codename Kids Next Door. Whenever I saw commercials for an animated movie playing in theaters I would beg my family to take me to see it. It didn’t matter what the movie was actually about, all that mattered was that it was animated and I thought it looked fun.

So, when I saw Star Wars: The Clone Wars in theaters with my sister and my grandmother, I loved it. I enjoyed the movie so much that when I learned there was going to be a TV show following the movie, I was ecstatic. From the moment that the first episodes of Season 1 aired on Cartoon Network a few months later, I was hooked. From the very beginning I refused to miss a single episode. From middle school all the way through high school The Clone Wars became the axis around which almost all of my entertainment consumption revolved.

I started reading more Star Wars books and comics from all over the timeline. The Thrawn trilogy. Darth Bane. Fate of the Jedi. The Old Republic. Lost Tribe of the Sith. I devoured every piece of Star Wars media I could find as this show awakened in me an appetite for all things Star Wars. Whenever my parents asked for gift ideas for my birthday or Christmas, at the top of my list would be the latest season of The Clone Wars on DVD. Every summer I trawled the internet looking for news from Star Wars Celebration or San Diego Comic Con about the next season – trailers, clips, plot details, whatever I could find.

When the show was initially cancelled following the purchase of Lucasfilm by Disney, I was devastated. This show had such a staple of my life that the idea that it wasn’t going to be coming back hurt. As I started looking around at online Star Wars fandom to find someone, anyone, who felt the same way that I did, I discovered #SaveTheCloneWars, and joined the campaign. Through that first year after the plug was pulled, I wrote to Disney asking them to continue the show. I signed fan petitions and made posts on Facebook. It was my first real engagement with the wider online fandom.

Then came The Lost Missions and the Clone Wars Legacy releases – Crystal Crisis, Son of Dathomir, Dark Disciple… Having more Clone Wars stories helped soften the pain of the show’s loss, but the story still felt incomplete. Hearing about future arcs that had been planned for the show only added to the sense of incompleteness, knowing that there were more stories we didn’t get to see. When rumors had begun circulating about an animated Star Wars show set post-Clone Wars, resolving unanswered questions of The Clone Wars was at the top of my wish list for a future Star Wars show.

When Rebels was announced I was cautiously optimistic. I didn’t want to get attached to a new set of characters when the loss of Ahsoka and Rex and my other Clone Wars favorites still felt so raw. After Dave Filoni and the production crew of Rebels posted videos introducing the crew of the Ghost and the core cast of Rebels I reluctantly became more interested, I still was cautious about investing my time in this new show out of fear that it too would be ripped away from me without a proper conclusion just like The Clone Wars was.

So, when the final episode of Rebels’ first season confirmed that the mysterious Fulcrum was none other than Ahsoka Tano I was out of my seat cheering. There were still questions I needed answered about what happened to her after she left the Jedi Order, but the fact that she was there, back on my TV screen once more, was a relief. And when I watched the first trailer for Season 2 a month later, the words “My name is Rex,” made me scream and cry. I was overcome with tears of joy knowing that not only would my favorite Jedi be appearing in Rebels but my favorite Clone Trooper as well.

By the time Rebels’ first season had ended, I was getting ready to graduate from high school and planning where I would go to college in the fall. Taking art electives in high school, particularly a computer art class during the airing of Season 5, made me appreciate just how beautiful the show’s art style was, and when the time came for me to plan where I wanted to go to college, I chose schools that had programs for animation. I had originally wanted to be a game designer because of Kingdom Hearts, but The Clone Wars made me realize that the passion I truly wanted to make a career out of was animation.

I continued to follow Rebels as I went off to college, and by the end of Season 3 – with Maul dead for good, Ahsoka MIA, and Rex and Hondo as the only major Clone Wars characters left on the show – I had gotten attached to the Rebels characters as well. I was just as invested in their fates as I was for those of Clone Wars characters like Rex and Hondo. Season 4 finished airing at the end of my junior year, and the knowledge in the final five episodes that Ahsoka had not only survived her confrontation with Anakin at the end of Season 2 but that she was still alive years after the events of the original trilogy had me crying tears of joy as I went to sleep.

The trailer announcing the return of The Clone Wars had me in tears for hours. Long had I been dreaming of the remaining stories of this show being released in some form. I would have been content with more novels and comics like Son of Dathomir and Dark Disciple, but to have the show return in animated form was a miracle I had given up hope for years ago.

But within the last twelve months, my interest in Star Wars cooled.

I was never the biggest fan of the movies. Revenge of the Sith was my favorite because in the absence of a proper conclusion it functioned as a de facto finale to The Clone Wars. I enjoyed the original trilogy, but they weren’t movies I considered my favorites. I saw The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi in theaters and cried on my first viewing of both films, but on repeat viewings the magic of them faded and I lost interest. While I could understand why other fans liked them, there was a spark that was missing from most of the movies released under Disney that prevented them from really having any staying power for me.

And then The Rise of Skywalker came out and completely shattered any expectations I had that Disney really knew what they were doing with the franchise. Where before I was willing to trust that there actually was a plan because of how precisely Rey and Ben Solo’s arc followed the path of the Heroine’s Journey across The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi, now I realize that what I initially believed to have been a carefully planned narrative arc was most likely JJ Abrams planning to set up a conventional Hero’s Journey which Rian Johnson used to try and tell a Heroine’s Journey instead. And even if there was a plan for Rey and Ben Solo that got screwed around by behind the scenes conflicts, there was clearly no plan as far as Poe and Finn and Rose were concerned.

For months after this, I started questioning and doubting my love of all the canon Star Wars media. How could I enjoy anything in the Original and Prequel trilogy eras knowing that all the hard work of dismantling Palpatine’s empire would be undone in order to rehash the same plotline with new characters and no concern given for whether the audience could follow what was happening or why these events and character decisions mattered if they hadn’t read every comic and novel and played every video game connected to this era.

Since the last trailer for the final season of The Clone Wars went up on YouTube, I vacillated between enthusiastically sticking to the shows I loved regardless of my problems with the film saga, and abandoning the franchise altogether and gifting my Clone Wars and Rebels Blu-Ray sets and associated novels to my college friend who had just gotten into Star Wars.

And then ‘The Phantom Apprentice’ Happened.

Ahsoka and Maul’s two-part duel in the throne room and the rafters of Sundari reminded me of everything I loved about The Clone Wars in the first place. The animation. The art style. The music. The attention to detail on every character and in every detail. The tragedy of what was to come. On my third re-watch of the third-to-last episode of Season 7, that was when I realized that despite my problems with the Sequel Trilogy, despite the many flaws in the writing of the Prequel movies, I could never give up on The Clone Wars, or on Rebels. These two shows have meant too much for me to ever walk away from either of them.

I have cried at least ten times in the last five days watching the final two episodes of The Clone Wars. The final of this incredible series was such a gut punch even though I knew what was coming and who would survive. I had and saw so many ideas about what the last episode would include. Would their be a montage of all the Jedi who survived Order 66 as a mirror of the death montage in Episode III? Would Ahsoka and Rex receive Obi-Wan’s recorded message from Rebels warning surviving Jedi to stay away from the temple?

But in the end, none of those things happened. The focus of the episode remained on Ahsoka and Rex. Their escape from the ship. The tragedy of their inability to save the other clones. And ending with a shot of Vader finding the ship some time later, all these symbols of the Republic buried beneath the winds of time as the empire rises. It was bleak and depressing and when the credits rolled I was holding back tears. But looking back on the entire series and the era of the war, knowing what was coming, there was no other way I could have expected it to end. The audience already knows that this is not the end, but Ahsoka and Rex don’t know that, and so the finale of The Clone Wars reflects this. The pain and despair. The tragedy and confusion over what will happen next. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Despite all the movies I’ve watched; the comics and novels I’ve read; the video games I’ve played; very few things in Star Wars canon or Legends have been able to match the magic of The Clone Wars in my heart. I have never truly been a Star Wars fan so much as I have been a Clone Wars and Rebels fan. The novels and comics and movies I enjoy are an extension of my love for the shows, but the shows will always come first. The characters these shows introduced have stuck with me more than any characters from the movies ever has. Clone Wars made me love Anakin and Obi-Wan and Padme and Yoda, but to me, my Star Wars favorites have always been Ahsoka, Maul, Rex, Ventress, Fives, Hera, Zeb, Thrawn, Sabine, and all the rest.

So, I just wanted to say thank you to Dave Filoni, Ashley Eckstein, Matt Lanter, Catherine Taber, James Arnold Taylor, Sam Whitwer, Nika Futterman, Dee Bradley Baker, as well as every single person involved in bringing this show to live for all the hard work and passion you have poured into this series. Your work on this show shaped the person I am today, and I look forward to seeing what you do next.

May the Force Be With You.

[darth-salem-emperor-of-earth]

My Top Ten Favorite Characters: Fandom/Character Meme!

I got tagged by @tessa1972 months and months ago for this and figured I stalled on this meme long enough. So finally, I’m getting around to posting this. None of these characters are in particular order and none of the gifs belong to me. 

Dorian Pavus:

There were way too many possible gifs for him to show how awesome, witty, clever, expressive and beautiful he is. I love his character and backstory, he’s a great companion to have around in battles and his romance with M!Inquisitor overloads me with feels. Dorian never fails to amuse me with his wit and comebacks.

Carth Onasi:

So much sass, humor, fight, and emotion all wrapped up in this angstmuffin of trust issues, accompanied by a sexy voice. He was my first video game love ever, I will never forget how his voice made me melt and simply wanted to listen him talk forever. I like his romance with Revan (F!Revan in the game but I like the idea of him falling for Revan of both genders because their interactions and the story behind them falling in love are just so beautiful). They say you’ll never forget your first. They’re right, I’ll never forget Carth Onasi. 

Éowyn of Rohan:

You tell them, Eowyn. I loved her character both in the books and the movie and when my dad always told me the whole story of the Lord of Rings (way before the movies came out), I was always fascinated with Eowyn and wanted to be just like her, to slay the Witch King, continue to kick ass, and be a warrior. She is my baby, I’ll defend her ‘til the very end. 

King Gangrel:

Where do I begin with this ginger trash king? He was such a riot and so unapologetically terrible while enjoying every minute of it. His history and reasoning behind his motives (at least, what small amounts the game shared with us) were fascinating and I was soooo glad we could recruit him later. And he totally shoved my plan to support/romance Walhart out the door (I’ll wait for my fourth playthrough) because his conversations and general personality were such a pleasure to read and laugh over. I love chaotic, goofy characters like him and it sweetened the deal where one of my Avatars could romance him. XD

Varric Tethras:

He stole my heart the moment he made his first appearance in Dragon Age 2. Stupid swagger, chest hair, charming grin and wit, and crafty mind ruining my life! A wonderful, faithful friend, a successful writer and storyteller, and a wicked shot with a crossbow--he has it all and so much more! Bioware let me romance him or dwarves again, I need this.

Garrus Vakarian:

Garrus, my man, you are a wonderful friend and romance option, you keep stealing my heart every time I read your lines to Shepard. XD

I loved his growth from ME1 to ME2 and then, ME3, showing how far he has come and how much he has achieved. I loved his loyalty to Shepard no matter how difficult or harrowing things became and was such a reliable, supportive comrade-in-arms. He had those moments were he could one smooth operator and then turn around to be an adorkable cutie pie. And still be a badass sniper no matter what. 

Catelyn Stark:

She is one of my favorite characters in the A Song of Ice and Fire series. Catelyn is a flawed character, and her story, her journey, and overall character gripped every time I read her chapters. This woman as underwent through so much, even as a young girl, and lost even more as well. She is such a strong character who tries to keep her family safe, balance multiple roles as mother, wife, protector, emissary, sister, etc., recognize and point out the unfairness of the patriarchy in Westeros’s society, and is one of the few voices of reason in this whole series. I know she has made some mistakes and isn’t perfect and that’s what I want. Favorite characters of mine are never perfect, they struggle and don’t always do the right thing according to a modern perspective, but their overall character psyche compels me regardless. And Catelyn Stark is one of those characters and because of her complexity, she gets a lot of hate for it. But not here, not on my blog. I love Catelyn Stark, who was such a force in life that now, in her undead life, she wreaking havoc on those who betrayed her, her son, and the House Stark and Tully. I just hope she can find some peace at the series (yeah, fuck you, Game of Thrones, I won’t forget your crappy depiction of her and Stannis). 

Vernon Roche:

One of these days I will actually play The Witcher 2 in its entirety and read the books but that won’t stop me from basking in the glory that is Vernon Roche. His complex, flawed character fascinated me and I really liked how his friendship with Geralt grows in the game, even if you pick Iorveth’s route, he still goes out of his way to help Geralt out. I also liked how he immediately suspected Geralt was innocent of Foltest’s death and his training, care, and relationship with Ves, his most trusted soldier. I just love what a BAMF he is and his route was my JAM! I loved how little Anais trusts him and how he will do everything in his power to keep her safe and win her crown and throne back for her. Uggh, so many feels!

Also, if you want to know when I realized how much I loved this character, I’ll tell you. It was near the end of the second game, where Vernon Roche brutally castrates Dethmold with his bare hands and then gives him a bloody end. I kid you not, my mind whispered, “I think I’m in love.” XD

Dettlaff:

Apparently in the Witcher universe, I like the hot tempered men. XD

Oh how I love this broody, tormented, and romantic High vampire so much that I can’t even imagine going through the endings where he dies and Regis is an outcast among his own kind, doomed to be hunted. Nope, nope, nope!

Anyway, I loved watching his struggles, his friendship with Regis and how he saved him from being a pile of goo, how deep and far he loves go for love or to protect those he cherishes--even for a woman who clearly doesn’t deserve him--, and down the little things, like his creativity (like his toy shops) or how fond he is with kids and they to them. I just want my high vampire to happy, okay? 

Haruno Sakura

Canon screwed her over so hard and she deserved better than what Kishi gave her (I’m sorry I will never not be over this and will be salty even when I’m dead). Her character arc and development in the beginning was interesting to watch, especially when Shippuden came around and we saw the fruits of her labor under the apprenticeship of Tsunade. I’m amazed how hard Sakura had to work be seen and treated as a shinobi, especially when her training was neglected when she was young and a mere genin. I really liked her personality, how far she came since the first volume, and Sakura could have had the proper story and ending if Kishi knew how to write women and actually cared about his main heroine in Naruto. Will I be bitter about this like 100 percent dark chocolate and revel in fanfictions and fanon ideas? You betcha!

I’m tagging anyone who wants to do this!

[kurguardianz]

Voltron: Legendary Defender Season One Rant

Voltron: Legendary Defender Season One Rant

Originally I was just going to measure this season by both its pros and its cons. But then I thought “This show is getting enough praise as it is without my help.” And in all honesty, my analyzing the pros felt half-assed when I really wanted to focus more on the cons. I haven’t seen the 1980s cartoon, so I can’t judge ‘VLD’ as a bad reboot or not. All I’ve seen from the original cartoon is a video on youtube titled ‘Best Voltron Moments’. It looks dated and silly as all hell compared to ‘VLD’. And good god what did they do to Pidge’s voice??? However, I actually had more fun laughing at an eight to nine minute video displaying 80s cheese than I did watching this modernized reboot.

I’m not saying I don’t like ‘VLD’, because I do. I just didn’t love it. Rather than blasting through this season in a matter of hours, it became more of a chore to sit through that it took me days, if not weeks, just to finish it. Is this one of those shows that isn’t for me? Is there something that I’m missing? Or did they just not do a good job at distracting me from its faults? Keep in mind, this is all opinion based, and not everyone is going to like something everyone else loves. Also, I’m aware that there are comics based off of this show. I don’t care. I’m focusing on the cartoon, not the comics. And from what my dearest friend and fan of the show told me, they’re not even that good. With that said, here’s my rant.

“The Galra.” I will admit, the Galra have some pretty menacing designs, chilling voice talent, and they prove to be more of a challenge for the Paladins. But underneath the surface, there’s really nothing to the Galra that we haven’t already seen in terms of an evil empire ruling the world — or in this case, the galaxy. It certainly doesn’t help that almost every villain introduced in this season has about as much character and personality as the gravity in space. I say ‘almost every villain’ because the only two characters that do anything remotely interesting are Haggar and Thace. One is a master druid and most trusted advisor to Emperor Zarkon, and the other helps the Paladins escape in the season finale.

With the exception of those two, everyone else like Sendak or Haxxus is just a cardboard cutout villain that our heroes have to fight. The biggest problem is that the main villain of the show, Zarkon, falls under the same trapping as any other evil ruler, where they have so much power and are not interesting because of it. Yes, he mops the floor with Keith and the red lion. Yes, we learn that he was the former paladin for the black lion. Yes, he is perhaps the most powerful enemy in the entire show already. But what does it matter when the villain himself is so boring to watch? I get their wanting to make him an all powerful baddie, but they should’ve made him captivating as a villain first.

Besides, being all powerful is not what makes a good villain. Take for example The Major from ‘Hellsing Ultimate’. The Major is a marksman for shit and is nowhere near as powerful as Emperor Zarkon. But what The Major lacks in vigor, he makes up for it with charisma. He has such undying passion for war; he has dinner while watching his vampire army wreak havoc; he’s always smiling because he’s having so much fun; and he has such a way with words that they flow like a river. You can argue that he doesn’t know when to shut up, but because he’s so fascinating as a villain, I could watch him give his speech on how much he loves war more than I would Zarkon wailing on the red lion.

While I can take each of them seriously, the Galra are just uninspired with very few of them really doing anything interesting enough that I want to know more about them. It might have something to do with the fact that they introduce six Galra in one season (Zarkon, Haggar, Thace, Sendak, Haxxus and Prorok) without giving a single one of them any time to develop or leave much of an impression on me. Perhaps if they were to make Sendak and Haxxus the main villains of the season while Zarkon was kept in the shadows or background to, you know, properly build him up as this evil tyrant, something might’ve stuck. But with what I was given, I dread who the Paladins are going to fight next.

“Side Characters.” Not only do they try to cram too many bad guys in the first season, but they do the same with side characters. Keep in mind, this is coming from someone who watches ‘Game of Thrones’ where its side characters galore. Unlike ‘GoT’ however where they can be interesting or play an actual role in the story, the side characters in ‘VLD’ are pretty much throwaways. Like candy wrappers. Take for example King Alfor. He has about five minutes of screen time — mostly as a hologram — with no real purpose other than to show that he and Allura are father and daughter. And instead of keeping him around for a second season to provide wisdom and such, they kill him off before this one is even over.

Sure, they’ll probably show him during a flashback or two next season, and his saying “Goodbye” to Allura was actually a pretty touching moment. Looking back at it now however, I feel like they could’ve held onto that until I actually, you know, got to know him better as an actual character. But hey, at least his getting killed off wasn’t so much a cheap ploy to get me bawling like it was with Rover. Yes, he was a helpful little drone to the very end, but Rover was no BB-8 or R2-D2. Plus, the execution with Pidge’s reaction was way off. Her shouting “No!” while moving in slow motion felt like something I would see from the 1980s cartoon. Except here it wasn’t unintentionally funny, it was just cliche.

Speaking of Pidge, we all remember her father and brother, Samuel and Matthew Holt, don’t we? I didn’t. It wasn’t until days after watching the season finale that I realized “Oh yeah, they’re still being held prisoner somewhere.” Then again, when given just one minute of screen time in the entire season, how could I not forget these two? Outside of being space explorers, Samuel and Matthew Holt have no actual character outside of their being family members that Pidge has to eventually find and rescue. On a side note, how is it that no one at the Galaxy Garrison looked at Pidge and thought “Hey, doesn’t that kid look an awful lot like Matthew Holt? One of our famous space explorers that went missing?”

Lastly, there’s the alien bounty hunter, Rolo, his partner, Nyma, and their cyber-unit, Breezer. Much like the Galra, their designs and voice work are really the only things they have going for them. Especially when they got Norman Reedus to do the voice for Rolo. Wait a sec, two actors from ‘The Walking Dead’ providing their voices in ‘VLD’??? Whoa. Mind blown. Other than that, I wouldn’t really care to see these characters again. I’d go into a lot of detail with Shay and her dick of a brother, Rax, but I don’t think we’ll be seeing them again anytime soon, if ever. Even so, I’ve already seen these type of characters before, and I can pretty much say the same for everyone that I’ve listed.

“Taking Flight” Stop me if you heard this one before. The party comes across one or few characters that need help with something and have a sob story to tell. One of the party members however has his doubts about the people they’re helping, but no one else ever listens to him/her and never have their own suspicions. Their inadvisable asses soon get bitten when the people they’ve been helping were lying to them the whole time. Gasp. They then apologize for not listening to said party member and waste a good chunk of time correcting their own mistake. You should know this cliche like the back of your hand, because every other TV show you can think of has beaten this trope to death.

‘Avatar: The Last Airbender’ wasn’t free from this cliche, neither was ’The Legend of Korra’. And now they’re written it in ‘VLD’ where they follow it paint by number. Not so much a creative angle to be seen anywhere. Be honest, were any of you really caught off guard when Rolo and Nyma stole the blue lion? Were any of you really at the edge of your seat when the Paladins gave chase to get it back? I certainly wasn’t, because I already knew the route they were taking as soon as Hunk had his doubts about Rolo and company. That’s how bad this cliche has gotten — it’s to the point where as soon as you see it you know it’s going to lead you to anything but surprising. Except for ‘Gravity Falls’.

What’s worse is that they threw away a golden opportunity for Lance to not get his lion back until later on in the season. Think about it, without all five lions, the Paladins can’t form Voltron. And without Voltron, the stakes would be much higher from then on as the Paladins would have only four lions to go up against hundreds of fleet ships, and perhaps a Robeast. But no, the blue lion gets stolen and retaken all in the same episode. Wasted opportunity, and a waste of an episode that could’ve been used to develop the characters. If it weren’t for the possibility of Rolo, Nyma and Breezer showing their faces again next season or so, you could literally skip this episode and wouldn’t miss anything crucial.

“Some Assembly Required” Again, stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Our band of heroes need to learn how to work as a team through a series of tests. Their instructor has a huge stick up their ass 24/7 through the ordeal, and almost all of our heroes fail miserably at every single test they’re given. Each test our heroes fail at results in their getting on each other’s nerves, leading to a lot of bickering, more failure, and more scolding from their instructor along the way. Yippee. They FINALLY pass one little test out of the many they failed at, their instructor cuts them some slack, and the heroes are now able to work together as a team from then on.

This cliche has reared its ugly head just about everywhere in any cartoon and TV show you can think of, and it keeps getting worse every single time I see it. It’s not that the Paladins have to learn how to work as a team that annoys me, it’s how they bicker, fight with each other and get scolded by Allura through the majority of the episode. Granted, they throw in a little humor into the mix to try and make this not such a miserable experience to watch — the key word being ‘try” — and once in a while Haggar would show up to create the Gladiator Robeast. But as painfully cliche and predictable ‘Taking Flight’ was, this episode was just painfully cliche, predictable and cringeworthy.

If they want the Paladins learning to work as a team, they should have them actually learn to work as a team! Have them bond with one another; understand one another; interact with one another; poke fun at one another; help out one another; be thankful for one another! But no, we can’t have that, because that would actually be fun and interesting. No, let’s instead have twenty minutes of unnecessary tension between the Paladins and Allura and have it all build up to a food fight. And then let’s have Coran spill a somewhat misogynistic line about how “A man can be driven to do almost anything if a beautiful women is just really, really mean to him.” Seriously, was I the only one not laughing at that?

“Princess Allura.” Before any of you scream bloody murder, I’m all for female characters that are smart and strong, especially princesses since they’ve been given a bad rap. One of my favorite female characters is Princess Leia from “Star Wars”, the first real female commando in film history. Much like Leia, Allura is a princess of a destroyed home planet and leads a team of rebels against an evil galactic empire. One of the major differences however is that Princess Leia didn’t have a nice helping of the “new powers as the plot demands it” trope to get things done or be in control. She didn’t need super strength, shapeshifting, or energy manipulation. All she needed was a blaster or two and her wits.

Plus, Princess Leia wasn’t a strong female character just for the sake of being a strong female character. No. She had a sense of humor; she warmed up to the men around her; she would celebrate; she would comfort; she would interact with friends and newcomers. She felt like an actual person. Princess Allura? She feels like a dull know-it-all by comparison, whose sole purpose is to spout exposition, give generic speeches, and put into action one of the many powers at her disposal. In short, she’s a cross between a plot device and a Mary Sue than an actual character. If you didn’t think of Allura as a Mary Sue, it becomes more apparent after reading the article down below.

http://thefederalist.com/2016/06/16/netflixs-voltron-reboot-the-best-modern-myth-makers-can-do/

Say what you will about Rey from ‘Force Awakens’ being a Mary Sue, but at least I actually felt something for the character and wanted to see more of her. For me, it’s the exact opposite with Allura. They focus too much on what they think makes a strong female character (i.e. lots of power and authority) that they forget to give her human qualities. The only time I really felt anything but apathy for Allura was when she had to say “Goodbye” to her father. Why? Because she was sad; she felt like a real person; and I could actually relate to her given the situation she was in. But that didn’t last long as she pulls another super power out of her ass in the next episode and we’re right back to square one.

A strong female character is welcoming, but making them all powerful is not the way to go. They have to be strong and interesting as an actual character first, otherwise there’s nothing to be emotionally invested in. Plus, not all strength comes from throwing robot guards like they were soft balls. Strength can also come from overcoming your flaws; your fears; your turmoils; personal struggles; and everyday troubles that keep getting in the way of what’s important to you. You can’t have good without evil, and you certainly can’t have strength without weakness. With the exception of that scene I mentioned with King Alfor, Princess Allura is nothing but strength, and ultimately that’s why she is a weak character.

“The Season Finale.” So now that I’ve established Princess Allura is not to my liking, you can imagine my disinterest in the season finale when the Paladins had to go and rescue her from Zarkon. Especially when Allura doesn’t even try to use her super strength to, oh, I don’t know, break out of her cell? Not so much a beating or kicking at the door, just sitting in a corner most of the time. Then there’s the whole song and dance where Coran gets on Shiro’s case for Allura’s capture, just to apologize a few minutes later, because drama. And of course Keith suggests they leave Allura in captivity, but I already know they’re going to rescue her regardless, so it’s just a time waster. Boy are we off to a great start.

Here’s a crazy idea. What if Shiro got captured instead of Allura? Sure, Shiro is borderline Gary Stu, but at least he has some PTSD shit going on for me to actually care about him. Plus, there would be a lot more at stake. Without Shiro to pilot the black lion, the Paladins can’t form Voltron. And without the one thing that can defeat Zarkon, the Paladins would be going on a suicide mission. Or better yet, have Keith pilot the black lion. We saw from the first trailer that they’re building him up for that in the next season. This could’ve been a golden opportunity to show his capabilities of doing so, giving Shiro all the more reason to say “Keith, if something happens to me, I want you to pilot the black lion.”

Would it have been a much better route? Maybe, may not, but chances are it would’ve been a lot less boring than what I was given. The whole time they had Voltron blowing up garrison fleet ships and Zarkon wailing on the red lion, I kept looking to see how much longer the episode was before I could watch something else, like Steven Universe or Gravity Falls. Either the stakes weren’t that high or I just wasn’t interested in ‘VLD’ anymore already, but when five mecha lions and a giant robot blowing shit up is as exciting to watch as a Michael Bay ‘Transformers’ sequel, something’s wrong. Really, the only intense moment in the entire finale was Shiro’s nightmare fuel of a fight with Hagar. Yikes.

And finally there’s the ending, or at least what they thought counts as an ending. Just as the finale actually starts to get interesting with the lions separating in the wormhole, it all cuts to black and the credits start rolling. Seriously? This is how they wanted to leave us hanging? Stopping right in the middle of something does not qualify as a good cliffhanger, or a season finale for that matter. It would’ve been better had they shown one of the Paladins all alone in parts unknown, wondering where everyone else was, and THEN they roll the credits. But no, this finale is pretty much holding me hostage to actually see that in the second season. A second season that, in all honesty, I won’t be watching anytime soon.

“Final Judgement.” I have to give them credit, ‘VLD’ has some of the best animation thus far in a western animated series; likable main characters; a fairly decent sense of humor; some intense action scenes; and I gotta give them extra points for throwing more ethnicity into the mix. But already the show is held back by muddled storytelling; generic villains; forgettable side characters; a boring princess; and an unsatisfying first season finale. I would’ve gone on to talk about the overuse of dialogue and the sloppy pacing, but I’ve already made my point loud and clear, and I’m sure all of you are wanting to decorate your bedroom walls with my blood and guts right about now.

I want to like this show, and I do. I like it enough to make a “VLD” AMV or two. It’s just not really doing anything for me. Granted, this is just the first season, but if I’m not engrossed in what was given to me, chances are I’m not going to be happy what comes next. Maybe the second season will fix some of the problems I’ve listed, maybe not. I still intend to watch the second season just to see where it all leads, I just won’t be in any rush to actually see it. If you still love this show after everything you’ve read, that’s fine by me. It means that you found a joy to “VLD” that I couldn’t, so don’t let my opinion tarnish that. You watch what you love, and I’ll watch what I love.