#the ultimate protobot 10000

[jerrynpenguins]

The DS games are really making me wish there were way more interactions between epf agents I mean just look at them

Also why Gary doesn't know why there a rubber ducky is in his own gadget room..

[forgottenclubpenguinfacts]

Fact #568

Source: Club Penguin Magazine, issue #30

[agent-a-cpfancomic]

I can imagine anna would lose it upon the protobot malfunctioning upon seeing shade because "HES SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!?" *WHEEZE*

This gave me the absolute best mental image-

Ultimate Protobot immediately just short circuits at the very sight of the dude. The ultimate payback.

[fullmoonfireball]

y’know what screw it, since Sexymen Descendents is A Thing, i’m just gonna. share this Skullector-inspired Protobot doll design i did for funzies a few months back.

[sludge-wizard]

I was inspired by BDG and made a cuddle chart for the CP characters, and I’ve included context for the placement of each character.

first, the lower left quadrant: Low emotional availability, low physical risk.

Skip: he’s a ghost. you phase through him. he also doesn’t even care. Petey K: he cares a little, but tends to zone out. Lays there like a body pillow, but might hug back if youre upset. Aunt Arctic: She’s great at cuddling and has years of experience, but has a lot on her mind.

Upper left quadrant: High emotional Availability, low physical risk.

G Billy: Again, lays there like a pillow, but listens to your every word and gets emotional with you if you’re sad. He was the first penguin ever to catch a mullet, but threw it back. Rookie: Ideal for cuddling, but can become overly-empathetic at times.

Lower right quadrant: Low emotional Availability, high physical risk.

Herbert: Dangerous Cuddler! he’s massive. the guy could crush you. he doesn’t give 2 shits about you, he’s going to use your sad, crushed body for what little warmth it has. Sensei: he’s going to spend the whole cuddle meditating, and might overheat like a space heater on a blanket. Scorn: Dangerous Cuddler! again, massive. he might listen a little, but that’s just to know how to make you miserable. He might also turn you to stone. Cadence: Emotionally available, but again, could zone out. has a high risk of bailing on your cuddle to make music when the inspiration hits just right. Gary: He’s here to listen and offer advice, but he’s really small and a little squirmy. he also doesn’t trim his toe talons and they could poke you.

Upper right quadrant: high emotional availability, high physical risk.

Klutzy: Dangerous Cuddler! Klutzy loves you! Klutzy loves everybody! klutzy can cut steel beams. Protobot: Dangerous Cuddler! Cold metal and very large, but will try her best to at *least* preserve your body long enough to pick your brain for all your emotions. Then you’re as useful to her as a slice of cold turkey, and soon enough she’s bootlegging your rough divorce. Merry Walrus: very empathetic, but has tusks and is, again, very large. Rockhopper: Willing to listen, but ONLY cuddles during thunderstorms on the open seas. Paige: Dangerous Cuddler! a wonderful gal, but will only cuddle with at least 5 puffles. Some of those puffles could be on fire, freezing cold, eating the blankets, using lasers, or the worst possible thing: An attention hog who wants you to stop snuggling and watch it jump rope 90 thousand times. Franky: he’s fairly low on the physical risk, but he DOES bring his guitar to bed.

And now, the sweet center square of ideal cuddle buddies:

Jetpack Guy: He will only be the big spoon, even if he’s smaller than you, but he WILL listen and he WILL value you greatly. Stompin Bob: he writes you poems for every cuddle session, and calls you effervescent. Rory: Friendly guy, but works a very physical job and could doze off. brings his hard hat. Dot:  on 1 hand her whole deal is she hides in plain sight, meaning her physical risk is very low, but on the other hand her whole deal is she hides in plain sight, meaning you could be cuddling in a shipping crate, which is very risky. However, she does her best to ensure that if you ARE cuddling in the shipping crate, there’s a pillow.

[dot-the-distracted-gal]

I was too lazy to add pictures

[agent-a-cpfancomic]

OH D A M N -

Can't imagine that would be any fun for the dude. (And Nova would have an absolute heart attack.)

Augh this is so siCK THOUGH- I love these sm!!

@ruby-static "asteroid knockout" edition!

Where ouch. Thats one way to get an interesting obituary.

But first!

Anna: we should stop them before they burn down the future and create a paradox

Shawn: ...nah. i doubt they'll create a paradox. But yeah definitely stop them.

Anna and shawn watching as bonnie and nova go on a chaos spree. Shawn is amused and anna is s c a r e d.

Nova: wait. Dragons cant breath in space?

Shawn: no!

Nova: shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. Gotta help hybrid Grandpa--

Nova going from absolutely cheering to "oh fuck" in the span of 5 seconds. Now they're just charging their ship to takumi.

Speaking of-

Atlas: this isnt good-

Nova: ouch.

The man isnt exactly having a good time out there.

And the finale!

Takumi: special delivery! PAIN!

*a few minutes later...*

Nova: Takumi!?

Shawn: oh fuck..!

Shawn: fuck it. Im going up there. Im gonna outer wilds this fucking space bot.

Takumi got an entire asteroid lobbed at him and needless to say, he's gotten yeeted far. And shawn is once again pissed off at the protobot. Go get em!

[cakelovingfae]

When you decide it’s time for pictures of the Protobot. +Bonus Herbert and Klutzy

[valentinapromax]

Even better than Meowmid

Okay so I recorded this months ago in like 1 shot so like sorry it’s shit Protobot is Hatsune Miku Confirmed The lyrics are based on JubyPhonic’s cover I can write them out if anyone is like, curious or something.

[forgottenclubpenguinfacts]

Fact #559

[theultimateprotobot-blog]

***************************** SYSTEM REBOOT: (Y)/N SYSTEM WILL NOW RESTART.

NOW REBOOTING: ULTIMATE PROTOBOT 10000 ****************************

OBSOLETE PENGUINS! i HAVE RETURNED TO TURN YOUR ISLAND INTO A ROBOTOPIA! . .

. WHERE ARE ALL THE PENGUINS?

[forgottenclubpenguinfacts]

Fact #474

Source: Club Penguin Times, issue #349

[forgottenclubpenguinfacts]

Fat #527

Source: Agent Rookie's Secret Mission

[forgottenclubpenguinfacts]

Fact #356

(Note: Herbert inventing the Electromagnet 1000 is also completely false.)

[forgottenclubpenguinfacts]

Fact #269

[forgottenclubpenguinfacts]

Fact #173

Source: Field-Ops #90, #91