#the way the stand asking to go out to play vs potty is different

[darkwood-sleddog]

Not me being targeted one of those dumb speaking dog button videos and the dog literally stress yawns while performing the behavior. Like okay. What if we just…oh I dunno just throwing this out there…learned to communicate with dogs using our knowledge of their own body language instead of forcing them to use a system that’s for our benefit and our benefit alone?

[yamithediaperdork]

Silver might Vs Ghost Nanny!

It was only after 7pm on a Tuesday in the middle of November, but already it was dark out save for the street lamps in Metro city. It's youngest and newest Superhero was flying low because of the darkness which he claimed was because he didn't wanna risk running into anything, but other members of the league of super pal's joked it was because he was scared of the dark. At 13 year's old Trip Johnson knew he looked more like a 7 year old at a mere 4'6 and slim build.  his grey eyes were hidden behind the silver domino mask he wore and while his short spiky hair was on display, it was temporarily dyed black to keep people from recognizing his normally orangish red hair. He was of course in addition to the mask wearing the rest of his costume as The Silver Might. (Though again, his so called team mates like to call him the Silver Mite behind his back and even to his face) Wearing a pair of sky blue boots that came up to his calf's, he had a pair of Silver tights tucked into them that didn't leave much to the imagination and had gotten some comments about whether or not he was a boy or a girl when he had first started working. A Blue belt the same color as his boots was around his waist with SM in silver as the belt buckle, and it was actually the belt itself that allowed the little guy to fly, though he hadn't told anyone that. covering his upper body was full length silver shirt, with SM now in blue stenciled on his chest. On each hand was a blue glove that came up about two inches above the wrist. Completing his look was a knee length blue cape that billowed out behind him (he personally didn't care much for the cape himself, but when his mom had found out he wanted to be a hero and had made the costume , save for the belt, for him, well, he couldn't really complain) His powers were a mild form of the basic flying brick. He could reach a speed of 300 MPH, Lift up to 300 pounds and could tank small arms fire with ease but heavier fire power would leave a bruise and bombs would mess him up. The belt had been a gift from anther hero named Gear head (Mostly because Trip had started to cry when he'd gone far teasing him about whether or not he was out of pull-up's) Tonight the little guy had drawn the short straw so to speak and gotten stuck with the evening patrol and was trying to get it over as fast as he could since he still had math homework to do. 'I have to be the only superhero in the city to have to worry about failing math.' he thought and was ready to call it a night when he noticed a green flash coming for the old Mason place and groaned. 'Just my luck, the place had been abandoned for like 70 years and tonight, when I need to get stuff done, someone's raising heck in there.' he groaned mentally. The old house was a older Victorian looking place, three stories tall and a basement under it and for the most part was structurally sound though the last people to of tried living there hadn't even spent a full night, claiming the place was haunted. It was protected by a clause in the city by-laws that meant as long as the place wasn't falling apart and the lawn was maintained it sty standing and so volunteers from the local history buff chapter kept the law in tip top shape and replaced any broken windows caused by youths tossing rocks at the place. As he recalled the Masons had left the place when their son who had been 1 and a half or two had gone missing in the middle of the night though the boys nanny had stayed behind with their blessings hoping that the boy might someday returned, though she had died 2 years later, having never seen a sign of young Jackson Mason. Landing on the front lawn Silver Might gave the place a one over, the hair on the back of his neck standing up a little and for a second he thought about using his radio ear piece to call in back up. then he pictured Danger dame and megaton man finding out he'd been scared to go into a supposedly haunted house after dark and the teasing he'd have to endure for months. and worse, if it turned out there was nothing in it he'd NEVER live it down! wishing he'd listened to his mom and brought a flash light with him the pint sized hero made his way up the porch steps and went in the surprisingly unlocked front door. 'Please be nothing please be nothing please be nothing.' he pleaded silently as he walked in. the house wasn't as cobwebbed as one might expect, not was it as dusty or moldy smelling, something that the pint sized hero chalked up to the history buffs. he pressed his luck and turned to flick on a light switch but nothing happened and he gave a little sigh. "Oh of course not." he grumbled. as his voice filled the dead air in the place a sudden chill went though his spine despite the thermal protection his suit was suppose to give him and he found himself wrapping his cape around him as he shivered. "Hello? Is there anyone here?" he called out, then cursed himself mentally. 'Yes Trip, some evil villain hiding out or hoodlums having a party in here are totally going to answer your call. Instead you just warned anyone who's hiding in here that you're in here too.' even as he finished cursing himself a voice DID speak up. "Jackson? Jackson is that you?" Came the voice of a older lady. Trip wasn't so good at placing ages on voices yet but it definitionally didn't have a tone like any of the girls from his school, it was more like his math teachers tone and she was in her early 30's. Even as the voice rang out there was a green flash and as trip turned to face it, a women in her 30's though dressed like something out of Mary Poppins. She had started out in different shades of green that now took on a most fleshy appearance, milky white skin with her outfit being a mix of grey and black and white. She still gave off a eerie glow though and it let Trip see that her eyes were glowing a eerie green and her hair was brunette. "Holy. Crap. The place IS haunted!" Trip said, jaw dropping as he recognized the face from one of the local history classes. It was the nanny, a miss graven or something like that. "I say young man! I asked you a question!" the ghost asked and pointed a finger at him. Instantly a green glow went around Trip and he found himself not only unable to move, but being lifted up in the air and brought closer to the ghost. "P-Please don't hurt me!" Trip squeaked out as he got closer. "Young man I only punish naughty boys who do naughty things. Like ignoring the questions of their elders!" she scolded and wagged a finger. "Now again, Are you Jackson?" "No! No Ma'am I'm not! I'm a superhero named silver Might and i was just checking this place out and I'm very much not a naughty boy so please let me go and I'll never come back here again!" Trip said rapidly. One of his many many fears, aside from the dark and needles, was a fear of ghosts after his uncle had let him watch a scary movie when he was five. He'd wet the bed for a week and somehow it had linked in his head that ghost made his bladder fill up and right now his was getting dangerously full to the point if he'd been able to move, he'd be doing a potty dance. "Hmmm..I do believe you that your not Jackson, But I don't know about your claims not to be a naughty boy, or being a superhero hero. you're much too young to be the type, and I believe it's more likely your a naughty little boy out after dark playing dress up. Does your mommy know where you are?" Miss Graven asked, though she let him down on the floor relaxing her hold a little bit. Instantly he tried to dash away or turn on his flight belt, but neither did much and she vanished from in front of him and walloped his behind hard, making help yelp. It also made him do something else as the shocking pain made him lose control of his bladder and he started to helplessly wet himself. "Oh rude! trying to escape when I'm giving you a chance to explain yours- Ohhh I see, you were trying to run for the bathroom." The ghost scolded, then her voice softened. "you silly little boy, why didn't you tell me you needed to tinkle?" Trip whimpered in shame and pain as his cheeks still strung somehow from the force of the blow, and his pristine tights were now wet and smelly as he finished making a puddle. "i...I'm sorry." the mortified boy whimpered. "It's ok, I should of asked. little boys don't always know. Come on, let's get you all cleaned up and then you can spend the night here. I'm not about to let a little boy go running around in the streets at night." She said. "I..but..I need to get home." Trip said with a big swallow. "My..My mommy will be getting worried about me!" he added, drawing on what she had said before. "Hmmm, that's true. but i still can't send you home in your soggy pants." Miss graven said. "I'll get you all nice and clean and then I'll walk you home OK little guy?" she offered, smiling and now leaning in front of him and a little more tinkle came out. "W-whatever you say." Trip said and gulped. he was hoping that what little bit of ghost lore he had learned from Magic intern had been correct, that a ghost who haunted a house would be stuck in it, so any attempt to leave with Trip would have her stuck there and leave him free to flee. he thought about trying his com link and trying to call for help but the memory of her swat on his behind nixed that idea, he could play along at least for a little while. Miss graven smiled at how easy it was to get this little boy to behave, so much easier then those last brats who had bugged her awhile back, a group of unruly teenagers she'd been forced to spank them silly and warned them to keep their mouths shut about her or ELSE. she thought his little outfit was pretty silly, as was his story of being a hero but little boys were prone to flights of fancy and she'd have him in something much more fitting in short order. she made sure the little cutie held her hand as she lead the way to the bathroom, where with a flick of her wrist it went from the rub down non-working room it was to the fully functional and stylish (for it's time) bathroom it had been when she worked here. "H-Holy cow!" the little guy said, clearly impressed and she smiled. "Now 'silver might'." she said, semi humoring the boy. "I'm gonna need your proper name before i give you a bath and get you dressed." the boy blushed at that and squirmed. "A-A bath? as in..see me naked?" he asked, and amusingly covered himself even though he was still in his silly little costume. "I assure you, you don't have anything I haven't seen on any other little boy I've bathed." She assured him. "I..I uh.." he squirmed more and she raised a eyebrow. "My..mommy said other people aren't allowed to see me naked." the boy said finally. "Hmmm, well thats a good point normally, but I'm a nanny and I'm sure once I meet your mother she'll understand. Now, you can strip yourself or I can do it for you, but either way.." she let the threat hang in the air. trip mentally cursed, he'd thought for sure that would of worked but no go. Truth be told a bath DID sound good as the material that made up his suit mixed with urine was making him itchy, so after a long pause he started to take his suit off. "I also asked whats your name little guy? and how old are you." Miss graven said as he tugged his wet tights down, having already removed his boots. "Oh uh..It's Trip ma'am. Trip Johnson. and I'm 13." he said shyly, his belt and shirt coming off next, then his gloves and mask. "Hmm are you sure about that?" she asked with a little grin. he wasn't sure what she meant at first, then realized her eyes were studying his hairless tiny body and got a full body blush going. "I-I am! I'm just small for my age." he whined, then stopped as it really wasn't helping his case. "oh i see. and not quite as mature as you should be either, playing dress up and wetting yourself." the ghost added and despite himself trip pouted. "oh none of that, it's OK. Some boys just take longer to grow up then others." She said and picked him up under his arms and placed him in the old Iron tub, turning on the water. "I'm going to wash you first, then you may play for a little bit." she said getting a cloth and soap. as she moved in though she noticed the com link in his ears and reached down, pulling it out and frowning. "didn't your mommy teach you to keep things out of your ears?" she scolded. "S-sorry." Trip whined, worried she was gonna spank him for a second. "Sigh, it's OK. you're just a silly little guy." She said with a condescending smile, then crushed the com link with ease between her index finger and thumb 'So much for calling for help..and gear head is gonna rip me a new one for going though ANTHER com link...' Trip thought glumly. After getting trip washed nice and clean all over (which had produced some adorable squeaks from the little guy) Miss graven true to her word had put some toy boats and rubber duckies in the soapy bath water then sat on the loo to keep a eye on the immature lad. she was waiting to see just what he would do and would follow up with a course of action based on either choice. If he just relaxed in the tub and left the toys alone she'd clean his silly little costume and after getting him dried off and into a pair of training pants in case he had anther accident, she'd let him put on his silly little outfit and walk him home. If he played with the toys like she believed he would, it would confirm what she figured..he was just a toddler or big baby in a big boys body, and she'd dress him in a manner that matched while disposing of his silly little costume. It was clearly a bad influence on him anyways and then she'd take him dressed in some thick nappies and a toddler clothes home in a stroller. Trip looked at the toys and then over at Miss graven, and bit his lip. he really didn't wanna play with them but he also didn't wanna piss the ghost off. after a few seconds of trying to figure out what to do he decided to play it save and started to move the boats around, making little motor noises and she smiled at him. 'Guess i picked right.' He thought with a sigh of relief. As he played with the boats he found himself getting into it, and as such he missed the gesture she gave his costume sending it from the bathroom floor to a trash bin outside. he was actually started when she cleared her throat and smiled down at him. "I know your having lots and lots of fun little guy, but I think you've been in the tubby long enough." she said and with a gesture the plug was pulled and the water started to drain. "O-Oh..ok." he said sheepish. he wasn't even sure how long he'd been out of it, having fun like a little kid though he noted his costume was gone from the floor. "Um..Miss graven?" he asked, gulping. "Yes trip?" she asked, floating a towel over to her hands and then starting to dry him. "where did my costume go?" he asked. "Oh, it was so pee stained and smelly, I just tossed it out. I'm sure if your a good little boy for your mommy she'll get you anther." Miss graven said. "B-But that belt was super special and uh..one of a kind!" he whined. "ohhh some sort of collectors item?" Miss graven asked. "Y-yeah! it's from a show..called..silver Might and that's who i was dressed as. Mommy made me the costume but-" she cut him off with a warm smile. "Say no more." she said and the belt was back in the bathroom, to in her hand. "i'm glad you're finally telling the truth about your silly little outfit and I'm sure your mommy will make you anther one." she said and putting the belt over he shoulder she finished drying him. 'Ok..having to play along with her stupid game was embarrassing, but still, no way Gear head was gonna make me anther flight belt.' Trip thought. 'At least this is almost over and it can't really get any worse then this.' right as he thought that Miss graven wrapped him up in the towel and scooped him up into her arms, and it was liked he'd been swaddled like a new born as he squirmed a little. 'I just had to tempt fate didn't I?' He thought Carrying the little big boy to the nursery, Miss graven let the bathroom return to it's aged look and restored the nursery from it's run down appearance to back to it's prime, with the walls covered in pastel blue paint with pink rabbits stenciled in every few feet. the floor had a soft white carpet and had a big crib in one corner and a changing table and diaper pail in anther. there was a large closet that had been raided long ago before her magic had been worked and was now filled with diaper shirts and short-all that were all in trip's size, though she doubted the little guy had noticed that yet as he was busy looking at the stack of big bulky disposable nappies that were stored under the the table top of the changing table in little cubby holes with some dedicated to plastic pants as well. "M-M-Miss graven you're not..gonna diaper me are you?" Trip asked and started to struggle in her arms. but her ghostly might was more then up for the fast of holding him in place even if he was quite a bit stronger then she'd expected. "Such a clever little boy!" she coo'ed and taped a finger on his nose. Trip started to whimper and tears were forming in his eyes as she shook his head. "No no no no no! I'm not a baby! I'm a big boy! Please!" he whined and trembled in her arms. "Awwww trip it's OK little guy, I know your trying SO hard to be a big boy, but I don't want anther accident to happen on the way to your house." she said and kissed his forehead. "now I'm going to lay you down on the changing table and take the towel off, I want you to promise me you're going to be a good boy and stay there. I really don't wanna have to spank you trip, you've been such a good boy for me." She said. Trip couldn't believe it, she was gonna put him back in diapers and dress him like a big baby. if the rest of his team ever found out.. Still the threat of a spanking forced his hand and as much as he didn't wanna be put back in diapers she'd proven that all of his powers were useless against her. "I..I really don't wanna go back into diapers Miss graven. what if I promise to super try my hardest NOT to have a accident?" he tried. "heh, sweetie...it's not that i don't think you're trying your hardest to keep dry pants, I just don't wanna have to come back mid walk to change you again." Miss graven said. Trip whined and fussed, but slowly nodded. "I-If you have to..I guess..I promise not to try and run..it won't do me any good anyways." he said after a few minutes. "That's a VERY big boy thing of you to say." the ghost praised. as he was laid on the changing table and the towel unwrapped from around him, Trip was tempted for a second to push his luck. As soon as the thought came into his head he dismissed it, the ghost while stern and set on her ways was playing fair to a degree and wouldn't spank him if he kept his word. and he WAS a hero and had given his word so that wasn't something to broken easily. That being said, as she unfolded the thick crinkly diaper his bottom lip did start to tremble despite his best efforts and Miss Graven  sighed and produced a large pacifier and popped in his mouth. again his will power failed him as despite his best efforts he found himself nursing on the large rubber nipple in his mouth and... it was actually very soothing and he relaxed a little. "Sorry little one, I should of offered you a soother sooner." Miss graven said, then as a after thought she made a teddy bear from a toy chest against one of the walls come over and offered it to him. '...in for a penny, in for a pound.' Trip thought and took the teddy bear and snuggled it to his chest and closed his eyes. Watching the little guy snuggle the teddy and nurse on his soother, Miss graven knew she'd been right to diaper him and almost found herself wishing she could keep him here with her a little while longer. But she had agreed to take him home to his mother, who must be getting worried sick about here her little wanna be hero was. with the nappy under Trips cute little behind she sprinkled on lots a baby powder the tapped it up snugly, then followed up with a nursery print pair of plastic pants as she had never really trusted disposables but her employers had insisted as it would cut down on the stinky nappy smell kept around the house. Of course she'd had to use her supernatural powers to up the size of some things since even with trip being so tiny there was no way he'd of fit into Jackson's diapers and clothes but that was alright. Double checking the leg bands and the waist band of the plastic pants she picked up Trip and set him on her hip, letting him keep Mr.bear in his arms and the soother in his mouth as she moved over to the closet. Opening it up fully and showing him the array of outfits and smiled. "Since you've been SUCH a good little boy for me Trip, I'll let you pick what you wanna wear. You can take your soother out or just point." Trip was blushing again, but that was nothing new for the most part expect now that he had the big bulky diaper around his hips and was on her waist, a arm under his padded rear this felt kinda..right. worried if he took the soother out he'd start saying as much he scanned the closet nursing on it then finally pointed to a white shirt and blue jean coveralls combo, even though the front pocket on them had a big teddy bear stitched on it. "oh good choice!" Miss graven said and snapped a finger, the outfit instantly went from off of the hanger to being on him and he realized that what he'd thought was a t-shirt was some kinda diaper shirt from how sung the diaper got. with him all dressed, down to have a pair of white socks on and a blue pair of sneakers, with white laces on his feet, she took him over to a mirror. at some point she'd fashioned his unruly hair (no longer black but back to it's original color into a neatly combed look and when he looked at his reflection he saw just a big baby looking back at him. "What do you think? ready to go home and show your mommy your new outfit?" Miss graven asked and kissed his cheek. Smiling a little behind the paci in his mouth Trip nodded. getting down the stairs with the nursery going back to worn down as they left trip looked at the spot on the floor where he'd had his accident. It seemed like hours ago now with everything that had happened when really at most a hour had passed and it had been all cleaned up and was gone. Miss Graven set him on his feet as she summoned up a stroller, which at this point really didn't shock him. What DID shock him however was that with the added bulk around his hips that caused him to have a frankly rather large behind, he lost his balance within seconds and plopped on his butt. 'Guess it's a good thing she's gonna be using the stroller.' he thought as he rubbed the back of his head, looking up at her sheepishly. "Heh. Guess it's a good thing we're using this huh buddy?" she said, basically echoing his thought. he nodded and giggled a little as she set his belt in a little carrying area under the stroller along with a diaper bag, he raised his arms up to her as she turned her attention back to him. "..You really ARE too cute. I might have to ask your mommy to let you come over sometime." She gushed. The idea of coming back here would of been terrifying or too much to think about before, but now as he was getting used to all of this he nodded his head too, and suddenly was worried. "Uh, Miss graven?" he asked, pulling his soother out as she got him strapped into the large blue stroller. "Yes trip?" "..as a ghost you might not be able to leave the house." he said. "Heh, really? you think so?" she asked and lightly tapped his nose. "I'm only trapped in the house during the day little man, at night I'm free to roam. I'm guessing you're just bringing this up NOW because before that was your little escape plan huh?" Trip looked down, but nodded looking and feeling very ashamed of himself. "Awww it's OK. you just hadn't accepted what you are at that point. it's all good." She said and tickled his chin. Trip gave a happy giggle and then popped his paci back in as she wheeled them out the door, wondering exactly just how he was going to explain this all to his mom when they got to his place, but then realized that Miss graven would handle it all. He was after all, just a silly little baby. with that happy thought he snuggled Mr.bear and drifted off to sleep.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

So Jazmine was trying to get her DNA changed to be Brian's child.

She asked me to remove the "daddy's race girl" clothing from the baby registry. So i looked and turns out there wasn't an actual item that said that. So we are good and kept those items.

The nursery section is still under construction and I agree with Alex wait till you see me to buy. Although what he was saying was he has no intention of me going.

Well he's an ass hole and i am not.

And my no the refused to change the twins DNA Only because Jazzy didn't include Annabelle.

Who is Alex Laughlin's biological child he chose to neglect and abandon and doesn't pay child support.

Jazzy says "i meant.. Us.. All. To change our DNA"

"Yep that i can do since you're verbally including Annabelle as well to make sure." Replied my mom

My mom is SO SO SO SO SO SO mad at Alex Laughlin right now. She could choke him out to death in 5 point 6 seconds.

Regardless whether their DNA is changed.

The point i want to express is that i will allow my children to pick who is in thier lives, I always have with Annabelle. When she wanted her gramma Denise I allowed it even if i declared war and was not on speaking terms with her and made it clear i didnt want her in my life.

Alex is from Planet Timbuktu which had imploded in the 1960s and was from a galaxy next door. They were out to visit an their equipment broke down and they just stayed. So anyone trying to find them and succeeding was allowed to stay. They were turkey shaped. Which caused Thanksgiving to be a world wide holiday before it was an USA One.

Of course Zulululu doesn't want to talk about that as they are unwanted invaders and dont want anyone to know about invasions or even aliens.

So Alex was about two years old and he hasn't matured greatly since then. An LLPD said they all adore Alex, always all "come here give me hugs!" But Brian they stand up straight with respect and love and gratitude. And are all "do you want a hug?"

Brian says no. Usually I will say yes until I have a person to person issue to cause me to say no. Or my back hurts.

Brian will say yes when its been earned. Like trust or some form of respecting quality.

Anyway my point besides all the side stories is my kids will face the same as many of you.

My daughter is 16. Does she keep the past company or does she look to the future with Alex? If she has a choice. And i will make sure she does. And if Alex has a problem then my fist and his face will have a close and frequent relationship.

My twins can make their choice up front. They have that right. Hurt him now or risk being hurt themselves.

Windy says she would like two dads. But Jazzy screams "Noooo!" When Windy says that. So I tell her she can stay home with mommy.

Now if this fucking idiot just thinks hes gonna be all willy nilly about just picking up my kids as he sees fit. Well he's fucking wrong.

I'm talking like 16 grown ass men that know fear and hate standing around with AK47 and M16 and shit. I'm not fucking playing. Hes dumb. Plain and simple.

Like dopey he's all cute and shit and the odd one out. But he's not respectable. And definetly not trust worthy in any adult fashion.

He's just a party boy. Which makes him a good friend to have. But. A parent? No. A husband? No.

Windy is all "fine an uncle then"

Alex is all "wow you make it sound like you want nothing to do with me"

Really? He fucking lies. I really don't to be honest. For why would I want to be friends with a liar that treats me like I'm worthless?

I've had at least two husbands I treated tbat way because to me they were. Like they were worthless but I didn't lie to their face. I embraced their inequality and tried to support and encourage them. And I never took their kids from them. Someone's trash is someone else's treasure.

So Alex wants to continue treating me and our kids like trash. Then bye bye.

He doesn't even see that he does. He thinks hes right. Like I said his maturity is very low. Very Dopey. From Snow White and the Seven Drawves if you haven't caught my drift yet.

But he's creative. Just irresponsible. Careless and clueless.

His feelings are more important. Because he fainted when Annabelle was born he decided to flee. Like she would be crawling out my vagina every day. Can't handle diapers. Fucking weakling.

So she's 16 and in just a few short months she will be 17. And we definitely will not be at that race. But somewhere celebrating her life. Because her birthday falls on a race day.

Whether he wants to do something the week before or not that's up to him, but she's not gonna be at the Races when she can be someplace exotic and un ordinary.

Because im the mom. Im the single mom. And her and i have been a team. He's never WANTED or made an EFFORT to be in her life.

Whether or not i would want him in my life doesnt matter. Because I am UNINPORTANT to him.

It makes me angry. I can't even be sad although my anger is stormed by sadness. For him. And mostly my almost 17 year old daughter.

He's fucking weak. And my daughters all need to know that.

Brian does dumb shit because hes too over protective. 8 tours in Iraq. So yeah he's a bit afraid to cause me daily stress if he's gonna die. So he's stayed out of my life. It didn't work though, I figured it out. But also I didn't worry. And believe me. He got his shit beat from him. I wasn't nice about it. For years. If i got in a bad mood. He heard ALL about it. Straight from me and if he didn't he got scared.

So he got his karma. The difference is he's not afraid or whiny about which formula is best for each twin or if they do or don't want a dirty diaper. Or want to use the potty.

And he's not selfish. Which is why people are all "oh give me hugs little Alex" vs standing up straight and asking with respect if ole boy can do with a hug. Steal a hug from the little selfish boy. Ask from the generous man.

I wasn't intending to rant

But to encourage other people to allow their children to choose their parents.

There's a lot of death happening and sadness and people feel hopeless, so to "rant" and compare people is imperative right now. It IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT.

Imperative. I relate the word to inoperable and operable. Which means able to operate. Which means work. Imperative means the most important to cause something to work.

So be imperative to your child's companions. Parents are dying.

They need to decide who their replacement is. Gramma. Uncle. Cousin. Stranger.

My 3 girls are no different.

I also had to do the same. I was an orphan and due to amnesia, I'm with who I was "stuck" with. My uncle and a Zulululu I'm aimed to kill.

So Annabelle was stuck with an abusive surrogate Alex picked. Until I got a divorce. The summer after kindergarten, he moved out. Legal divorce didn't come for years because he became abusive about it and so as long as he moved out and left us alone.

For awhile Annabelle wanted to be with her surrogate. So for 2nd grade I gave in and let him for October to March split the week. But she decided she didn't like it

So I had to deal with his whining and crying and bull shit about wanting to see her more

She didn't like him. He was dumb and a Zulululu and selfish. So I stood up to him. It didn't matter to him she didn't want to see him.

Just like I know it won't matter Annabelle will want to see Alex to Alex or his little pathetic friends he finds so important.

But I also know she doesn't give a shit any more. You all think I'm harsh?

Ill be all "this is your biological father he chose Michael to be your dad" she will spit in his face. If I add "because he fainted when I was in labor with you" she would laugh in his face, tell him he's pathetic and ask when we can leave.

It's the truth. I could list all his great qualities and all it will do is hurt her. Because if he's so great, why doesn't he care about her? She would cry.

So fuck that. "Here's him. This is what he did. And why"

Intuition and past experiences takes care of the rest.

I think its extremely important who i am with because of her. But she says "why the fuck would i care?" Uhh duh cause you're still my kid. Her answer is if he's a piece of shit you'll drop him and if not ill fucking move and take care of myself.

And me "well lets get down to it if he's in there raping and molesting you or beating you then you better dam well tell me. Tell me it doesn't fucking matter because it sure as hell does matter your opinion"

"Those are about facts" im told.

Well fucking a relief, we are in this together!

"Well it does matter if you like him because if we go it to eat or to the movie or something"

"Well i will just use him for money"

"Well that's not a high quality of life. Id rather you use someone for money that you actually like and enjoy being with"

"That's not using them for money! That's something different! Idk what its called. What's it called?"

"Allowing someone to be generous and enjoying companionship or company with them. And that's not a bad thing as long as you appreciate it"

"Appreciation! Its called using someone for money but liking it! I mean appreciating it! Am i right?!"

Well yeah, in all technical terms.

"Or allowing someone to be your daddy?"

"How come not mom?!"

"Because im not gay or bi sexual"

"I am already through with dads. Can you be gay or even just a little bi sexual, a little for me please?"

"No"

Same shit since she was 8. Half her life.

And Alex is the one that made sure she would be through with dads. Brian was standing right there. And he picked someone known to be abusive and on drugs and an alcoholic.

So really. If you ask me. Spit is kind. He deserves to be shot in the face.

She won't hold me back. But i can't make her uncomfortable or unhappy because she gives me freedom.

That would break my own heart.

So i encourage others especially those suffering wirh COVID to make your plans.

I have in my WILL actually an 18 year old when I made it to take her. I have a house with the social security she would get from my death it would be enough to split the mortgage and bills. The 18 year old works.

It allows him, its not her soul mate but what I believed to be a blood relative, to get out on his own and be with a young adult that needs to be looked after during her time of need in case of my death.

Make sure food is available, the home is clean, bills are paid, doctor appointments are done and so on. And that life has a bit of fun, on top. And little stress due to him not wanting to be a parent but a friend.

An 18 year old more responsible than her own father or the other he had picked.

For him an affordable safe place to live and for her an adult to be legal guardian so she can be left alone by Denise and Michael. Both aggressive enough to lock the door and not open it when someone on the other side isnt wanted. And kind enough to take time to understand why the other chose to not open the door and support that or at least let it live.

Because that is what my daughter needs. Someone to support that and someone of legal age and capabilities to provide decent living conditions.

And enough in common to enjoy life. And enough respect to allow differences the other may not prefer to do or have.

And so that is what i have set up.

He's not full of infinite wisdom or even all the time patient or unaggrevating. But he's kind enough. And he's not altogether selfish. Self orientated but so is she and so am I.

That's independent with a demand to be cared for and about.

And luckily they mesh well enough.

Alex could have but he chose fear. Not responsibility.

Although he promised he wouldn't. Swore up and down..

His friend Ben that goes by Matt, "she's never going to get pregnant just come on with me"

They left. So i sent a pregnancy test over to where they were. "Oh that's fake" said Ben.

Well i have an almost 17 year old that DNA4U says is Alex's.

But Ben mattered. Not me. Not her.

And certainly not Alex.

While that makes me sad that Alex doesn't even care about himself i know there's nothing i can do about that and i def will not make excuses to him to any of our daughters.

And I would just as soon want to write him off myself.

No point in caring for someone like him. Not any proof of that in my life. Its just a waste of time and energy

So please write a WILL and email it to those that are leaders in your family and who it includes.

Example:

LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT

I want Sam to have my 3 cars.

I want Janice to have my house.

I want Jacklyn to have guardianship of my kids. She can find my life insurance and bank information in my safe. I have provided that information about my safe in a place I will tell my friend Sally.

For my last testaments those will also be located by Sally and given to whom needs to know.

Then i sign my legal name and i email it to Jacklyn, Janice and Sam as well as Sally.

Then Sally comes over and i tell her "look on top the fridge, i taped the envelopes you need down" or "look under my drawer, pull it out and look above youll find the info in case I die"

Jacklyn doesnt need to know all my insurance or bank info now and it might change between now and then. I told my kid, just look in my wallet. She's beneficiary and so she gets all everything. And some banks offer life insurance.

I chose someone my daughter can get along with and won't change her or force her to feel her choices are wrong. Someone whom will accept her and she can accept without changing her lifestyle very much.

So please do do so for your kids and please do ask.

Sure there are more legal ways but this is pretty desperate times and so a judge fully understanding it is your true will and testament and can prove it by your IP address and email address it is valid even in court

Further you can text from your phone number "I've emailed you my last will and testament to email@email.com from my regular email, email@email.com if you're worried about securing that legality

I text my entire WILL then emailed it. So They have two proofs. Then emailed it to myself.

So. The point is to validate the identity of the writer.

Once that is done what is written is the legal will.

Sally also knows where the title of the cars are -- in my safe and Sally is named my executer of my will although I didn't use the formal words that's who she is.

Jacklyn is younger and knows Sally so she will let Sally take the kids and so on. Which I wrote in request in the safe because I don't want to negoatate or questions. Its what I want.

And Sally will give that to Jacklyn in a sealed envelope even Sally didn't look in. "Family plan for Jacklyn" saying EXACTLY how I want my children raised. No spanking. No drugs or drinking under 18. No sleep overs with boys. No disrespect but facts. And to see Sally twice weekly. Plus normal clothing and feeding and shelter. Which Jacklyn has proven capable.

Even more I could just emailed the above and said "Sally has my last will and testament" if i wanted to keep the peace and not hear about how im driving Sam's inheritance wrong according to Sam.

I gave everything to Annabelle which is what her guardian would need to know so I told them both.

Of course the future will change that but...

Even so that's all her life. The twins aren't born yet and didn't have nearly their whole life in that house.

And of course saddling an 18 year old with nearly 17 year old is different than new borns. And by the time it gets to it she will be 18. So. She won't need a guardian...

So. I encourage you all to grasp your future and atrmpt a control of it after your death.

[howdoeslearninghappen-blog]

Minutes from the Alta Vista CoP meeting Feb. 23, 2017

CoP February 2017 Agenda & Notes

  Attendance:  Heather Kelman; Lisa Mallett; Christina Beauchamp; Julia Gomez; Anjena Rajitkar; Laurie Boucaud; Brenda Frey (Facilitator) & Kathy Arsenault (Facilitator);

Regrets:

  1.     Introductions

2.      Topic 1:  Building Belonging and Wellbeing

Read Carol Anne Wein’s Article:  “From Policing to Participation:  Overturning the Rules and Creating Amiable Classrooms”

Why are rules in place?  Who defines the rules? 

Challenge yourselves to dig to the root vs.  the accepted?

  Examine your centre: 

What program rules are used?

What comes to mind?

Rationale

Walking feet inside.

Hands to yourself.

Indoor voice.

No crashing toys OR respect the equipment.

Feet on the floor.

Sit on your bum on the chairs/couches (infants) 

Sitting while eating.

Clean up after yourself.

[Dressed.]  Sit and wait.

Gentle hands.

Appropriate language.

  Inform before leaving the room. (SA)

Arrive & let educators know (SA)

Universal (common to more than two centres – if not all present)

Some are age related (different age groups determine physical competency and are in place to protect the child’s safety.)

Some are related to ministry; centre; educator; parent…

“Safety”  I.E. “Walking feet inside.”  Is implemented to help keep child safe within indoor environment AND as preventable measures to reduce challenging behaviours…if one begins to run, may lead to others feeding each other’s energy…may lead to a larger injury if more than one child involved.

i.e. Running inside…Why the rule?

Enclosed furniture; space constricted;

“Protecting children” OR is it considered a disservice of children?  IF we truly believe that every child is capable & competent & rich in potential, are we stifling their learning by preventing running inside or simply protecting them by controlling their enery/action?

“Inside Voices”  duration of noise level and disruption; lack of space?

Safety “Furniture use”

  Are these centre rules?

    Are they used consistency within centre/program room among educators?

Ministry Regulations & Liabilities

Specific to Individual centres and related to their culture/history

Some rules may present as self-explanatory… “respecting the equipment” can correlate to the monitory expense for a centre.

If a child is standing on a chair, the intent is that they might be problem solving.  i.e. If they use a chair to reach something or to see something better is it considered dangerous?   

During toileting or dressing sequences, what is the frequency of waiting?  How long is acceptable?  Is there a way to reduce waiting OR reward a healthy processing of instructions by going outside early with a smaller group?

i.e. Steps with everyone doing one function each time – snowpants for everyone; boots next, jacket flip & so forth

Sleep time…how we lie on the bed?  Is it reasonable to expect a child to sleep in a specific position?

Toileting

Positive statement & physical contact

Positive “Gentle Hands”

Respect & Dignity

Auditory & Headaches

Are some educator acting out in risk aversion due to fear (they are not my children)  OR are they overly sensitive to the potential of harm (bubble wrapped children.)

For Dressing & Toileting Routines:  Consider Squeezy bags, singing & book bins “Special books”

Sleep time & implementing waker’s program for children that are not sleeping;

“Enforcement” There are some areas where there is absolutely NO control…corridors/cubby area; washrooms;

Educator’s Experiences (Personal)

Are these barriers to changing or eliminating rules OR how do we negoitiate with a “keeper of routines”

  Manners, Toileting or Food related from expectations may be residual effects from the educator’s own personal lifes.  From our parents or grandparents our very own upbringing

Differences can be across the board as each educator on a team may be from various environments.

Consider differences with urban & rural settings AS well as home/centre care settings.

For a homecare providers when on a walking excursion the expectation may be for the children to hold onto the stroller differs from parents’ practice.

Toddler Safety with Homecare (1:5 versus Home) may define different parameters for “rule” making that is driven by safety predominantly.  This can be puzzling for a child with a single caregiver versus two parent pick up or what a parent may loosely enforce.

  Direct correlation to last month’s article in Think, Act, Feel: Connect/Correction with enforcing.

Think about the amount of time spent “policing” the Rules and the energy in its enforcement.

Think about the time as an educator policing with what it lacks in engagement and the denial of being in the present with a child or children.  What opportunities are both parties losing?  Think about the teachable moments lost or enriched.

Parent’s Expectations/ Experiences

    “Don’t  run.”

Keep dry or clean.  “Don’t get dirty.”

“He has a cold.  Don’t go outside.”

“Don’t play in the puddle; mud; rain; and so forth.”

“Don’t get your hands or clothes dirty.”

As educators, we plan for children’s programming, but we must also plan to be resourceful and informative for parents to be able to provide a rationale as to WHY it may be worthy of getting dirty OR how a child may get a cold.

Explaining the situation & being prepared (ie. Soaking wet & opened jacket)

I.E. Winter boots & rubber boots

Extra clothes

“Communicate & inform” with parents; rain wear;

Pleasing the parent – water play & learning stories

Examine the RULES surrounding equipment like i.e. Umbrella OR skipping ropes= tool to keep your dry with a special use or purpose OR fun learning activity for skipping

Using equipment or toys in an appropriate manner or differently (spinning top) can be lost learning for a young mind  

Ministry Licensing

Capable & Competent

Teachable Moments

Expectation and regulation to have age appropriate equipment, toys and environments design

Teach the children how to play with something in a functional way.

Sharing this toy/equipment with a child & have faith that they might actually be able to resolve a problem.

Injury prevention & safety awareness is important, but balance a sense of risk management for children

Quiet moments in Circle

Proximity is important, but mentally pull back to allow the children to try in their attempts to resolve a problem.

Minor Injuries may require short burst of information:    i.e.  Splinter or broken glass…”Step back OR back up.”  

  The Hanen Centre:  For Communication for Young Children.  Resources and Books like Learning & Loving it (Talkability; Talk by Two; Language & )  with helpful Graphics/cartoons.

  Teachers can play many roles in their practice:

What do we identify with these categories as educators?

What does this look like?

The “Director” Role

The “Entertainer” Role

The “Timekeeper” Role

The “Quiet” Role

The “Rescuer” Role

The “Responsive” Role

Verbally dominant and loud within team…constantly dictating and redirecting children..what is the dynamic between educators & children?  Question the control mechanism and its perceived outcome.

“When waiting...”  Sing, dance & cajole children when necessary & acknowledge

Tick-Tock:  Consider Daily Schedules – eating, toileting & dressing depending on the seasons a lot different timeframes; for Breaks – reflect staffing needs/floater & enrollment demands; Reminders; warnings and follow through to meet the timeframes of the daily schedule.

Toileting:  depending on where the children are physiologically (various pace for toileting – diapers, potty, toilet & hand washing routines.

Develop the skill set to “Ask the right question at the right time” while reducing an internal struggle or emotional commotion for educator?

Tend to give too much information- simplify message for younger child

A lot of a practice & energy

May be one or all of these types of educators, BUT ultimate goal is to be a RESPONSIVE educators

Pull back & recognize that the CHILD is the focal point & connect with child for their capacity for learning.

Power dynamics (be mindful of power on; power off.

Reaction vs response of adult/child

Nagging; broken record method; policing= exhausting.

How do we foster children’s independence during daily routine experiences?

How can we make these experience and interactions meaningful to each child?  Based on their unique abilities, interest and life experiences? 

Guide for building REFLECTION:   Addresses the Type of CHILD & also connects the teacher’s style.  They may not always match – commitment from educator AND team to work with these realities.  NOT all children and educators “fit” SO we need to address strategies and methods to make it work as best as possible.

  Engagement & Time:  Anticipation  What’s coming next or up; falters with no longer in the presence...NOT in the Now

Educators present a range of Hypersensitivity and /or Insensitivity with a lack of timing awareness.

Think about a childcare centre’s daily schedule.  Why are some items fixed and not flexible?

How do educators overcome barriers?

Routines & Transition

Art, Sensory or Science Experiences

  Think about how you can change your daily schedule to do so…

How can we think about relationships and connecting first in our practice? 

    As you think

What are barriers to this?

How can your program put more emphasis on outdoor exploration and play that heightens learning versus safety aversion?

How can the environment be arranged to encourage children to engage in activities that involve an element of manageable risk (appropriate for children’s age and abilities)

  Keen, active supervision and commitment for educator’s to position themselves within the environment is required.

Team buy in and an agreement to how it is facilitated by each educator

An enriched environment that is set up with safety in mind, but designed with physical challenges so that children could encounter variances and experiment with the development of their skills.

How does it connect with Wellbeing?

How can we overcome this?

A Responsive Educator:  reinforces; reminds & redirects…but depending on the age group must consider how/when redirection is the most effective.

Acknowledging “Outdoor play” for 2 hours daily…make it work moments when it comes to Canadian weather and pronounced seasons.

Direction…Correction: 

Connection…Empathy – why the energy?

Consider adjustment for Intake Registration for Parents:  What do you consider safe behaviour?

  Appropriate gear & outer wear is needed to best suit all weather anticipated AND when restrictions are required a commitment to alternative GMS 

  Connect expectations to CPL, professional learning with exposure to article & importance to share with colleagues.

  Next Meeting:  March 28th, 2017 at 6:30 p.m. hosted at Alta Vista location.