#because the dog presses the button because they get a response out of the human

[blueboyluca]

So to summarise my experience of reading How Stella Learned to Talk by Christina Hunger: if it’s not clear, I hated this book. It’s trash. It belongs on the dog edition of If Books Could Kill. There is nothing of substance in it, nothing of value. My major issues with dog buttons remain the same and are now in fact more pronounced. Those issues are:

Dog buttons replace existing communication dogs use with human-centric communication, which only devalues humans learning real dog behaviour

All dog use of buttons is assumed deliberate and meaningful

All dog use of buttons is explained away with creative storytelling

Supporters of dog buttons rely heavily on harmful anthropomorphism

The novelty of dog buttons is considered more important than existing research of dog behaviour and practice of dog training

People like Hunger are either lying to themselves or lying to everybody else and it doesn’t really matter which because functionally the result is the same

I went on the Hunger for Words Instagram page to see what they are up to today. I recognise that Stella seems to use her buttons in a way that suggests familiarity with them, but that doesn’t equate to language use. She also still displays calming signals like yawning, stretching, flat ears, pacing and looking away while using her buttons.

The videos are all short and without much context within the footage. The captions are complete storytelling. There is no way to know that what is happening in the video is valuable because it’s surrounded by unverifiable storytelling and commentary from Hunger.

The Instagram also features videos from other laypeople who think their dogs can talk. One recent video shows a golden retriever repeatedly pressing a button that says "car". The owner attributes this behaviour to the dog "throwing a tantrum about the car". In another featured video, a Pekingese mix presses "chew" then "come" and then puts his lifted paw down on "get it" which is also taken as deliberate communication.

One of Hunger’s tips in the book is to wait for your dog to respond after you have talked to them. Think about how this looks from the dog’s perspective. You have stopped talking, you are making eye contact, you are waiting expectantly. What do dogs normally do when confronted with this kind of body language? They throw out appeasement signals and they offer behaviours that might lead to reinforcement. This is what is recommended as language breakthrough, and that any button pressing that may result from it is deliberate linguistic communication and not instead meaningful communication about the dog’s emotional state and response to your own body language.

My emotional state after finishing this book? Exasperated and sad. The most important thing you can take away from this story is that your dog is always communicating with you, and you don’t need a plastic button to learn what they are saying.

[tired-biscuit]

Does kiba's doglike behaviours encourage him to be mean to bunny reader?

i think so, but not necessarily in a genuinely mean kind of way!! imo, he'd just prefer a good chase and sometimes that could turn him a little inconsiderate of your feelings as a result.

like, trying to hunt you and pin you down would be so thrilling and fun for him that he'd take it too far and get rowdy with you; especially if you'd be trying to put up a fight in return. his canine brain overtakes his human one, so he'd start to manhandle you a bit rougher than usual the moment he'd catch you, pressing you flat on your back against the floor of his living room. grabbing you by the ankles and squeezing your legs together, he makes your knees touch your chest as an attempt to make you seem even more docile than you already are just because he can.

and it works. you freeze on instinct because there's a predator nearby, your tail fluttering with anxiety because his grip is still tenacious even if the fanged smile on his face is friendly. part of you guesses it's because he's well aware that your legs are strong as hell. after all, when you try to kick him backwards, he doesn't even budge. he's clearly expecting it.

and it's all like a game for him. you're his toy; he can practically throw you around if he wishes to do so.

him being bigger, stronger, more dominant, and thus in charge by default, would really please him even more. he loves to push your buttons and tease and poke all of the bunny-like aspects of your body because you're just so twitchy and responsive. especially when you get pissed at him and end up cussing him out; calling him a dirty, dirty dog while stomping your foot against the ground angrily.

he just can't take you seriously. and as for you, well, you just think he's so mean for it.

[gayluigi]

You know, animal people who are against the button speaking training thing really kind of tick me off. The lady who started it all is a speech therapist who based her methods on AAC devices. Critics say that the animals just memorize which words get which reaction contextually, but in some cases, that’s what language is. An animal knowing to, say, press the buttons for “stranger, dog, outside” (basing this on a video I saw recently) when they see a dog they don’t recognize through the window instead of barking their head off gets the point across, even if the animal doesn’t comprehend the individual words. They’re able to recognize the appropriate context for these words based on how they’ve been taught and apply them. If you think that’s not language, then you’re direspecting the language of AAC users.

Sometimes, AAC is just pictures. A person might have a picture chart, and they point at what they want to communicate. If a person points at the picture for, say, the snack they want instead of typing it out on a text to speech program in order to communicate, is that not language to you?

Image description: A photo of a picture and word-based AAC app on a tablet sitting on a table. The app is opened to a page of pictures and words centered around playing different types of games. In front of the tablet is a paper, upon which the game preferences of school children that have used the AAC device are listed, written down by their teacher.

This is an example of real sentences created on a digital AAC device. Just like the animals that use AAC, the sentences are simplistic, three word or so sentences. Just like the animals that use AAC, they make sense contextually (these were responses to a question). Just like the animals, these people aren’t able to speak their thoughts verbally or in written language. The only difference here is that the button options are more appropriate for a child rather than a dog. A dog isn’t going to play Wii or Uno, but they might choose to play fetch or tug-of-war.

You can’t put down animal AAC without putting down human AAC too. You just can’t. Animal AAC was adapted from human AAC by a speech therapist. It’s a novel concept, sure. And yeah, you can probably figure out what your animals are thinking by their body language if you know them well enough, but sometimes, your dog is staring at you and you’ve tried everything to figure out what they want and you still can’t.

I had a lot of those moments with Lucy (my late dog). She couldn’t tell me when she was in pain because she was so used to it that she didn’t really show outward signs. It was her normal. If I could’ve had a “medicine” button for her, along with a “snack” button and an “outside” button, it would’ve probably saved me a lot of hassle. There were many times that I took her outside and just stood there and watched her while she stared at me because she just wanted food, not to be outside, and there was a huge miscommunication there. It even led to me scolding her for “faking me out for treats” before I realized that just like humans, sometimes she would just need a midnight snack, and I decided to just feed her when she wanted fed. That solved a lot of our communication issues, but still, I would often try to let her out when all she wanted was food bc she’d walk outside to try and appease me enough to give her treats even if she didn’t really need to go. She couldn’t tell me what she wanted, so it was a guessing game.

I’m thinking of button training Tucker (my big cat). Autumn (my little cat) is a little too stubborn to be trainable, but Tucker’s very eager to please, so I might try to see if it’s something he’s interested in. He’s been having a LOT of trouble since Lucy died, sometimes even just walking over to someone who’s minding their own business and biting them for seemingly no reason, so having some words to communicate his needs would be nice. I think he gets pretty frustrated because he has a lot of big feelings, but he doesn’t have any way to express them other than with his teeth. It breaks my heart for him because I know this loss has been really hard for him. I want o give him a voice.

[medpulse]

“Learned helplessness is the giving-up reaction, the quitting response that follows from the belief that whatever you do doesn't matter.”, said the father of positive psychology Martin Seligman.  

Motivation is the feeling a person gets to accomplish any task, from as simple as waking up to as big as pursuing a career. Can you imagine living without motivation? One might assume that they might die as there would be no motivation to eat, seek warmth, or thrive in any manner. 

The bigger question would be what would it take to strip away motivation out of one. Would it be knowing that the outcome does not matter? Would it be repeated failures that lead to low self-worth? Would it be helplessness?

To discover this, Martin decided to play an experiment. The experiment included three groups of dogs that were exposed to electrical shock that could be stopped by pressing a certain button with their nose. The first group were not presented with the button but had the chance to escape after being shocked. The second group had a functioning button that eliminated the shock once pressed. The third group were exposed to a non-functioning button, which means that the shocks were not stopped by the button. In fact, the shocks exposure was in a random manner.

The three groups were then put in a shuttlebox, where they had to jump the barrier to avoid the shocks. Then guess what! The first and second groups succeeded and avoided the shock. The third group gave up and decided to accept the shocks rather than searching for a solution.

Despite the unreasonable inclination to expose dogs to shocks and the obvious animal abuse, this experiment may reflect a real life phenomenon. 

The first group, with no experience, were willing to fight their presenting danger. This group could present humans during their early stages: inexperienced yet to face so many challenges. At this stage, humans tend to try and accept challenges. They want to run to win first place, They want to finish writing as fast to be awarded a star. Because what is loss?

The second group were presented with danger that can be avoided and were succesful. This presents the phase where we succeed following challenges. In this case, we are encouraged to try again. We can face our life with the motivation to live. 

The third group were faced with repeated failure, regardless of their effort to solve their crisis. This group represents the group of unprivileged people who keep trying to change their failure into success. Despite continuous efforts to change their fates, they are ultimately faced with unwanted results. They are, therefore, expecting failure and refuse to put in effort. This phenomenon is called learned helplessness .

These incidents can range from failure in an exam to failure to stop childhood abuse. A child that faces their parents’ abuse regardless of whether they are following rules or not will ultimately refuse to perform any sort of effort to change their circumstances. A child may ask himself “Why Try?”.

Learned helplessness revolves around the human mental connection of how the results of their actions impact their future motivation. This phenomenon offers some explanations for generalized anxiety disorders and phobias, It also explains pessimism as a habit. What makes this phenomenon important is that it may start impacting lives as young as childhood, developing and expanding to reach adulthood. 

However, like any psychological trap that can be overcomed, this is no different. With the right resources, humans can avoid further entrapment in this phenomenon and free themselves. 

But let's leave this talk for another page in our magazine. 

[closetmonsterxx]

i’m back on tumblr i guess

i looked in the mirror today and said “thats me,” and I really meant it. I can’t remember the last time i said that and truly believed it. 

i’ve started to view my suffering as simply a part of the human experience. i think often about what makes people, humans, homo sapiens, whatever you wanna call it, different from other animals. in a lot of ways, we are the same. really, i think more about how i am just like a cat or a snail, spending energy and then gaining more, simply trying to survive. but then, i think about what makes plants different than animals. plants don’t have a nervous system. they can’t feel pain because they can’t run away. what is fundamental to animals is the ability to flee from or fight danger. what is fundamental to animals is that we can recognize and immediately take action. if this is what allows life to be conscious, it seems then that threat, and our response to it, is foundational to awareness. 

awareness is what makes animals and plants different. but the question still remains, what separates humans from other animals. the first thing my mind goes to in the innate social structure of mammals. looking then only at mammals, one might say that our opposable thumbs is what makes us unique, but we are not alone in that trait. so then what? our use of tools? no, many species across the animal kingdom use tools. could it be the size of our brains? no, most whales have larger brains. our use of language? research suggests many animals, such as whales or even prairie dogs, have organized language.

what i think makes humans different, but not necessarily better, than other animals is our amazing knack for pattern recognition. sure, a monkey in a lab can learn what button to press, but its not going take that information and apply it to a new situation. at least, not in the way that humans do. humans see patterns everywhere. we are extremely observant. at least i am. we are able to take a small observation and use it to predict anything from the weather to another person’s emotions. we see connection everywhere. this is our glory and our downfall. 

when i look around, i do not see things only as they are. i see the shape as arranged atoms. i see the color not on the object, but in between us as light. when i see an animal, i think of where it came from and where it may be going, what it will eat and where it will go to get a drink of water? i don’t just live in this world, i feel this world and i am this world. that is beautiful, but it is also torturous. 

this deep feeling of everything is what leaves me holed up in my bedroom for days on end because i cannot bear to step outside and feel the pain that plagues the earth. i cannot drive because when i see an animal dead on the side of the road, i can only think of its family, and the hole left in its ecosystem. i cant help but to think of its innocence. i cant help but to think of the suffering of others, human or not, and of course, of my own suffering.

my primal instinct to be vigilant and observational is what keeps me stuck in thought loops, completely dissociated from what is around me. i get stuck trying to find an answer, figure out ‘why’, but there is no why. 

there is no reason or forethought. this is simply life. this is simply what happens when the chemicals in my brain and body do exactly what they are supposed to do. my brain and my body keep me alive and the consciousness that is me is simply a by-product. this deep and tangled awareness is what happens when humans happen. i cannot change that. no one can. i am learning to be okay with that.

feeling love and fear and excitement and terror is what it means to be human. there is a certain level of anxiety, overthinking, and awareness that was put there to keep us safe. 

i am a part of an ecosystem that is my body, and part of an ecosystem even bigger than that - this world.

[lasclsurfing]

Desktop Pets Sans

#Desktop Pets Sans how to

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#Desktop Pets Sans free

If you see him sitting down with some Zs floating off of his head, this means he wants to sleep. Overfeeding him will cause him to get ill, so be careful. Looks like Sans is hungry! Select the Fork and Knife icon to choose a hot dog for a meal, and a bottle of ketchup for a snack, no skeleton can resist! Use the middle bone button B to confirm your choice. After it's done, your new friend, Sans, will appear! He will interact with you depending on how you care for him. After setting up your unit, a house will appear for a few minutes, indicating it's in "standby mode" until a few minutes have passed.Īfter a few minutes of waiting, your unit will play a section of "It's Raining Somewhere Else". Press the left bone button A to scroll, middle bone button B to confirm. The screen will show the date and time, but you have to set it. You will hear a long beep for a few seconds. Unscrew the back of your pet with a screwdriver (Phillips head recommended). Care always comes with responsibility, especially with a skeleton. Do you have the determination to care for him? Make sure he gets what he needs, so he'll be your friend for a long time. He wants to get out, but then he starts feeling snug, as it's warm. However, he ends up in a weird pod with a clear screen. He sees a bright light as if it's a way out.

#Desktop Pets Sans how to

​Ever wanted your own virtual skeleton? Now you can, with Virtual Pal Sans! He's your own friend that you decide how to treat him! However though, neglecting him will have some consequences, so be wise!Īfter a few weeks being sealed in the Underground, a brave skeleton by the name of Sans tries to find a way to the human world.

#Desktop Pets Sans plus

I hope you enjoy it anyway, plus there will be some missing things I might have left out, so if I find something I missed, I will edit this post to add it in. (also on pi day sans should say "happy pi day from pa*-pie-*rus".Author's Note: This is another idea of mine, but I will not be doing this, as I have previously said, I need permissions and the materials to create it. Do you not have the guts to stand my puns?What is the best band in the underground? Femur and Dreemurr. I don't know if I should put a little more backbone into these jokes, but then again it is tibia expected that I'll get lazy and not try as hard to make a skele- ton of them. I know i'm pretty humerus.This is going tibia funny pun. Have you seen my brother I have a bone to pick with him. The annoying dog stole Papyrus's left arm and leg. He even ran off with Papyrus' left leg! You could say he didn't leave him with a leg to stand on. That annoying dog came back and stole more of our bones. What do skeletons hate most about the wind? Nothing it goes right through them. why did the skeleton get kicked out of the comedy club? Because he wasn't very humerus Knock Knock : who's there? : to : to who? : to whom. You wan't dialogue? have some: I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na.

#Desktop Pets Sans free

If you guys have any suggestions for dialog, feel free to put them below!! I'd love to put in as much as I can so his speaking doesn't get too repetitive.

#Desktop Pets Sans download

Once I get around to finishing him (just want to get a little more dialog in), I'll publish him for download along with the tutorial inside so you can edit whatever dialog you please to fit you personally! Feel free to make another character if you'd like to!! Sans knows what day and month it is, and also knows the time, so you can edit him to remind you about something or say something at a certain time/day! He also remembers names and birthdays!! He can read you RSS feeds, check your email, has a built-in calendar, and can empty your recycle bin. You can do really cool things with it, like insert your own dialog and pretty much make your own. Emotions!! (his facial expressions do change, as seen on the clips)įor those of you that have no clue what an Ukagaka is, it's a little desktop friend that sits on your desktop and talks to you on occasion. Whoopie cushion (yes, he will prank you with this at random) Random dialog he speaks every three minutes at what I've set him at, although it seems he's a bit quiet (usually tells jokes or useful hints about the program, or talks about his brother) He does make his speaking sound on dialog activation, I promise! Sorry for the low-quality video of him in action, it's all I can get for now.

[darkwood-sleddog]

Not me being targeted one of those dumb speaking dog button videos and the dog literally stress yawns while performing the behavior. Like okay. What if we just…oh I dunno just throwing this out there…learned to communicate with dogs using our knowledge of their own body language instead of forcing them to use a system that’s for our benefit and our benefit alone?

[joaquinwhorres]

gazes (joaquín torres x reader)

SUMMARY ››››› It's become increasingly apparent to Sam and Bucky that you and Joaquin cannot take your eyes off each other. Unfortunately for them, you two have decided to be Professionals and that means keeping your eyes, hands, and lips to yourselves. No matter how difficult it is.

WORD COUNT ››››› 3,716

WARNINGS ››››› sexy times implied

A/N ››››› Ok so these headcanons y'all have been sending me are incredible. I read these two back to back and I just had to write something connecting them.

The kid had no tact.

Sam wasn't exactly sure why he expected more from the guy who'd led into his theory that Steve was on the moon by referencing vague internet rumors, but even despite that, he'd assumed Joaquin possessed some sense of subtlety.

Instead he was over at the leg press trying and failing not to stare at Y/N as she bent over at the middle to help Bucky push deeper into the stretch.

"You know she could hit you with a harassment claim for staring at her like that."

Joaquin jumped, the weights dropping suddenly with a loud clang. Across the gym, Bucky laughed as Y/N whipped around to face the two men. "Everything ok?" Her voice sounded genuinely concerned, and Sam couldn't help but smirk as Joaquin turned towards her, giving a little wave.

"Foot slipped," he answered, and she nodded, turning back to Bucky quickly.

"Foot slipped," Sam mocked.

"Dude, you scared the shit out of me."

"If you paid half the amount of attention you give to Y/N to your surroundings, you'd have known I'd been standing here for three minutes."

Joaquin gave a defensive scoff. "I wasn't staring at her--I was just--" he stopped, searching for an excuse, and Sam raised his eyebrows.

When it was clear Joaquin couldn't find a convincing enough lie to end the sentence, Sam shook his head. "You know, if you talk to her, she might actually let you take her out."

"I talk to her," Joaquin protested.

Sam shook his head, uncrossing his arms. "No, I mean talk to her. Chat her up. You've gotta have some game, right?"

"I've got game..." His sentence trailed off as he turned to look in her direction, finding her standing over Bucky's feet with her hands on her hips. "But like, we're co-workers, you know? I don't want to make things awkward around the gym or the compound or anything."

"Joaquin," Sam said, laying a hand on his shoulder. "You're already making things awkward."

"He's staring at your ass again."

"And you're trying to get out of stretching again," you quipped, moving Bucky's leg closer to his chest. The super soldier tilted his head as if to acknowledge the legitimacy of your accusation.

"Doesn't change the fact that I think you're about to give him a heart attack."

"I highly doubt he's worried in the slightest about my ass. He's probably zoned out."

"He's definitely focused in...on--"

"On my ass," you finished, shaking your head. You might have given Bucky's claim a little more credence if it weren't for the fact that Joaquin Torres had been anything but the consummate professional towards you. He was friendly and upbeat and welcoming, and one of the few genuinely good guys you'd ever had the pleasure of working with.

You'd never caught him staring once, and it's not like the boy was exactly known for subtlety. Last time Bucky had asked him to cover for him so you couldn't come down and teach him the right way to train his body, he'd told you that Bucky had left the compound to get you a thank you gift for all of your hard work. All while staring at the gym door.

The heavy sound of weights falling against each other echoed throughout the gym, and you spun around to face the sound. Sam hovered over Joaquin's shoulder, the latter no longer working the leg press but instead looking as if he'd just received the scare of his life.

Bucky broke into laughter, and you smacked at his leg.

"Everything ok?" you called out, and Joaquin smiled, giving a sheepish little wave at you. "Foot slipped."

"It's a good thing he wasn't at the bench press. You might have killed him."

Your head snapped back to Bucky who was giving you a shit eating grin.

"You're an asshole."

"I'm right."

"Do you think if I ask nicely Wakanda will take you back?"

"So you know I'm right."

You chanced a glance back at Joaquin who was still talking to Sam before turning back around and placing your hands on your hips. "I'm calling Ayo."

You were running early.

Not to any event in particular, but just for the general course of your day. It was rare for you to wake up to your first alarm so completely refreshed, and with a fully awake brain, you found it much easier to navigate the morning. You were able to get dressed without crawling back in bed for a few more minutes, and didn't have to battle with sleepy indecision when choosing what you wanted to eat for breakfast.

One thing after another just continued to roll your way, leading you to the gym much earlier than usual.

And that's where the luck stopped.

Or maybe it didn't stop. But it definitely took a turn. Because while you fully expected someone else to be in the gym already, you hadn't expected just one person to be in the gym. And even if you had, you wouldn't have guessed that that one person would be Joaquin. And if, for some reason, you'd had the foresight to sense that, you definitely never would have pictured him to be running on the treadmill shirtless.

You stopped in your tracks, eyes falling to the bouncing dog tags on his chest and then lower to the well defined abs you'd somehow never seen before.

It felt like you'd seen just about every man in this compound shirtless. At some point, they all seemed to strip in the gym or during one of your group training classes you ran for those who weren't field agents. Bucky was shirtless half the time you worked together. It was so normal, you hardly even blinked an eye anymore. Seeing Sam without a shirt was more rare and quite the sight, but it'd never caught your breath quite like seeing Joaquin. Joaquin, who had never so much as worn a tank top in the gym, Joaquin.

And now here he was, chest bare and heaving, feet pounding rhythmically against the treadmill, hair still messy from his pillow and sweat. Your brain couldn't seem to function correctly, offering you images of the sight before you, only closer. Much closer. Hovering inches over your stretched out body as the headboard behind you rammed into the wall with the force of each thrust--

"Hey," Joaquin greeted, noticing you standing off to the side. You blinked, heat rushing to your face as he turned the treadmill down to a more leisurely pace. "Something wrong with my form?"

It was tempting to lie and offer to "help him fix it." Or to be completely honest and tell him you'd never seen a human form as perfect as his.

But neither of those responses were professional or even appropriate, and you needed this job.

You swallowed, shaking your head. "No, I was just wondering why you were wearing those," you said, gesturing to his dog tags, and allowing your eyes to fall to his chest once more. You followed a bead of sweat as it rolled down his body, heading to the waistband of his shorts. Joaquin reached to touch his tags, causing them to jingle together once more and pull your attention up to him.

"It's hard to let them go," he smiled, ruefully, hitting the button so the belt slowed even more. "I'd say it's a habit, putting them on, but at this point they're just like a part of me."

You nodded, wishing you'd taken this conversation anywhere but to the idea of dog tags and what they stood for. It wasn't so much a mood killer but a guilt inducer because instead of you feeling embarrassed and somber, all you wanted to do was grab them and pull him closer to you.

He must have read the conflict on your face because he gave a crooked smile. "Yeah, sorry, it's kinda morbid."

"No," you shook your head, clearing it of the daydream induced fog. "I probably shouldn't have asked."

"No, nah, it's cool," his smile grew into grin, as the belt came to a stop. He leaned his forearms against the console, staring at you as if waiting for you to continue the conversation. Which you were not equipped to do with a smiling and shirtless and sweaty Joaquin Torres right before you.

"Well, thanks for being cool about it," you said with a nod.

My God, something was wrong with you. They were just abs. And sure, maybe the abs belonged to the man who not only found the time to moonlight as a superhero but star in your increasingly dirty dreams of late, but it was just a body party that you'd seen a million times.

But never on Joaquin.

You blamed everything your brain was doing to you on Bucky and all of his stupid comments about Joaquin's supposed fixation on your ass. You wondered what he would say if he could see you now. "And I thought I was half machine. I could practically see your brain short circuiting." or "If that's what you're like when you see him half-naked, how are you ever going to--"

"Yeah, of course," Joaquin said, still smiling, his eyes lifting up over your shoulder as the other door to the gym opened and Sam came in. "Hey," he greeted with a jerk of his chin.

"Hey," Sam said, drawing closer, his eyes on you. You forced a smile on to your own face, and lifted a hand, not trusting anything that was coming out of your mouth.

"You're here early," the other man said, stepping onto the treadmill next to Joaquin's, and putting his water bottle down next to the machine.

Both of them were looking at you now, and it's not like you could handle staying in this gym any longer. "I came down looking for my water bottle. I think I left it here yesterday."

Sam raised his eyebrows glancing around the gym, and Joaquin stepped down off of the machine. "Do you want help looking for it?" he asked, and your whole body seemed to tense up at the idea, your brain transporting you to a future scenario where the two of you wandered around the room, Joaquin next to you or behind you, so close you could feel the heat radiating off of him, all the while searching for a water bottle that was sitting on your dresser.

"No." Your voice came out too high, but you tried to play it off, shaking your head. "I've already interrupted your workout enough. It's either by the weights or not in here."

"Alright," he nodded. "If you need any help looking around the compound though, let me know."

"Thanks," you said. And then you gave another stupid wave and beelined it for the weight racks because you had to get out of here.

You made a show of looking next to each section of weights, even bending over to check underneath of them as if it could have been knocked under somewhere. After you felt an appropriate amount of time had passed to be convincing, you straightened up, empty handed. You turned back to Joaquin and Sam, both watching you rather than continuing their workouts as you might have hoped.

"Not here," you called back with a shrug and then left the gym and headed straight up to your shower.

He was nothing if not predictable.

The minute Y/N bent over to check behind the weight rack, his eyes were glued to her. Or perhaps more accurately, the bright teal spandex shorts she wore. As she pulled herself back up from searching for her water bottle and turned to them, Joaquin quickly looked to Sam as if the two had been talking the whole time and then "casually" returned to her.

"Not here!" she said, shrugging and then walking out of the gym, her footsteps quick and purposeful as she left through the door Sam had just entered by.

"So, what'd I interrupt?"

Joaquin looked up at Sam as if remembering he was there. "What?"

"You know, when the two of you were sitting by this machine making eyes at each other? Did you actually say anything to her or….?"

Joaquin shook his head. "No, she just came in and, uh, we chatted for a second, and then…" he trailed off, as if not fully remembering any of the past ten, twenty, however many minutes.

"You just chatted," Sam repeated, the disbelief on his face edging into his voice.

"Yeah," Joaquin nodded.

"Anywhere in this chat you finally ask her out?"

"Nah, it didn't feel right."

"It didn't--she was practically taking off the other half of your clothes with her eyes," Sam sputtered, gesturing to Joaquin's shorts.

The kid laughed and shook his head as if Sam didn't know what he was talking about. Joaquin moved to exit the gym as well. "I'll see you later, man," he said, leaving a very exasperated Sam behind.

Bucky Barnes was a motherfucking liar.

"Let's grab a drink on Friday," he said.

"Consider it me making it up to you for being such a pain in your ass," he said.

"I'll buy," he said.

Mothefucker.

This wasn't just you and your favorite co-worker getting a drink. This was a goddamn set up. Because one hour and three mojitos into the night, Sam and Joaquin walked in the front door.

"I fucking hate you," you said, glaring up at his stupid smug face.

"Well, what a surprise, he grinned, as you shook a finger up at him.

"I told you in confidence I'm a flirty drunk."

He snorted, giving you a look out the side of his eyes. "You told me you were a flirty drunk after you sent me several highly inappropriate drunk text messages about what you wanted to do to a certain Lieutenant, who," the self-satisfied smile was back on Bucky's face. "Is making his way over to us right now."

"When I get home, I swear to God, I'm buying you a ticket to Wakanda."

Bucky quirked an eyebrow. "You're not going to do it now?"

"I didn't bring my credit card because you said you were paying," you huffed.

Before Bucky could respond, Sam and Joaquin were next to the two of you, greeting Bucky with hand slaps and one armed hugs. Sam came around and wrapped an arm around you first before sliding into the seat next to Bucky, and Joaquin came forward, giving you a quick hug.

Which was a first.

More than the feeling of his back underneath your palm, or the way he seemed to emanate warmth, you were done in by how absolutely incredible he smelled. But before you could fully identify whether it was his shampoo, a cologne, or just him, he pulled away and took the only other available seat near the group--the one next to you.

"I see you started without us," Sam said, raising his eyebrows at the assortment of glasses that sat before you. Most of them were Bucky's as he downed beers faster than should have been humanly possible.

"Hard drinker, huh Y/N," Joaquin teased, shooting you a smile.

"Pfft," you dismissed. "Only three are mine."

"Three?" Sam asked, leaning forward to better look at you. "How long have you been here?"

"An hour," you said, completely unnecessarily leaning forward too.

Bucky shrugged. "I got the time wrong."

"Guess we better catch up then," Joaquin said, and you sank back into your chair, narrowing your eyes at him in challenge.

"If you can."

They did.

You were outpaced fairly quickly against the two soldiers and one super soldier. The rum-induced fuzziness around the edges of your brain was compounded by having Joaquin so close to you. At some point he'd pulled his chair a bit closer to yours so that he could better hear the conversation, and you don't remember when it happened, but his arm had also slid around the back of your chair. To your relief neither Bucky nor Sam seemed to acknowledge this. In fact, Bucky was positively quiet and normal all things considered. Everything was going better than you could have expected.

Until the music kicked up.

Sam was the first to be dragged onto the dance floor. He was Captain America. Of course he'd been targeted by the stunning girl in the red dress who'd only had to come up and ask "Does Captain America dance?" to succeed in pulling him off to the dance floor.

Bucky was next. Although he wasn't tugged onto the dance floor by his hand the way Sam was. It was the sight of the person in the tight black number that did him in, luring him away to the dance as if drawn by a magnet.

And then it was you and Joaquin, sitting at the bar. Alone. Together.

You looked up from your drink, pushing the straw down into the ice to stir up the clinking sounds, and he took a swig of his beer before putting the bottle back down on the bar.

"Alright, let's dance," he said, nodding with his head towards the crowd, and you let out a disbelieving snort.

"I don't know how to dance. I mean, I can dance," you attempted to clarify, although you had a feeling words were failing you at the moment. "But that's real dancing, and I can't do that."

"I guess you're lucky you have a really good teacher asking you to dance then," Joaquin grinned, holding out a hand. You looked down at his open palm, hesitating only for a second before you slid your hand into his and jumped down from your chair.

He led you out through the moving bodies expertly, dodging couples who were clearly more into the dancing than each other and couples where the complete opposite was true. The small bit of space he found you was closer to the center of the dance floor than you'd usually feel comfortable with, but when he turned towards you with that look on his face, any of your residual anxiety had vanished.

"Ok, come close," he said, and you took a small step closer to him, causing him to laugh. "Closer." He gestured, and you moved forward some more, Joaquin's hands finding their way to your hips and pulling you even closer. His hands rose, one finding its way to your mid-back, pushing your elbow up to rest on his, as the other took your hand and placed it over shoulder.

"This ok?" he asked, eyebrows raised, and you nodded, trying to keep your attention on him, his instructions and his words, and not the way that you could feel just about every part of him from the way he was angled against you. His right side was flush against your left, and his knee pushed between yours.

"Just follow me," he said, his head bent close to yours. Before you could even respond, he started to move, pulling you along with him through the dance. It was smooth and rolling and you'd never seen a guy able to roll his hips like Joaquin. He seemed to know exactly how to guide you, moving his body to push and pull yours along whenever you hesitated or felt lost, coaxing waves and movements out of you that you didn't know you could do. Each success was met with a small word of praise and a brilliant smile, as his hands shifted to hold you closer, and you wrapped your own hand around his neck to better feel and predict his movements.

It felt as if a fog had rolled in over the dancefloor, obstructing all else from view so it was just you and Joaquin, eyes locked to each other as you moved together, occupying the same space.

The song faded into the next one, and Joaquin stopped. You went to move backwards, to give him space and have him move on as many other of the more skilled dancing couples seemed to do, switching partners amongst each other. But he kept you close to him, hand sliding down to your waist.

"Now you can really dance," he teased, his eyes shining as they stared into yours.

"Only with you." It was supposed to be a self-deprecating joke, but it came out too quiet and earnest. Joaquin licked his lips, and your eyes followed the gesture, flickering between his mouth and his eyes.

You don't remember making the decision. You only remember, moving even further into his arms, and pushing yourself up to reach his lips with your own. He bent down to meet you, pulling you even closer and pressing his hard body into yours. His lips moved as slowly and sensually as his hips had, drawing you in and guiding you through a careful rhythm that promised much, much more.

Sam sat with Bucky at the bar. Joaquin and Y/N had disappeared somewhere amongst the dance floor, hidden amongst the crowd.

"You think it worked?" Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow at Sam.

"If it didn't we're screwed," Sam shook his head, taking a swig from his drink.

As if on cue, the two emerged from the swaying bodies, hand in hand, sweaty and much happier than they had been when Sam had left them at the bar.

"We're gonna head back to the compound," Joaquin said with practiced casualness.

"Yeah?" Bucky asked, and Sam swore there was mischief literally glinting in his eyes.

"Yeah," Joaquin nodded too fast and too many times. "Yeah, Y/N forgot about something there…"

"What'd you forget?" Bucky asked, turning to Y/N with a wolfish smile.

"Nothing. We're going to have sex," Y/N said, flatly, causing Sam to nearly spit out his drink. "And if you say one more word, I know a pilot who will fly you to Wakanda himself. No ticket needed."

Bucky mimicked zippering his lips into a smug look, and she rolled her eyes before tugging Joaquin out of the bar by his hand. And he followed. Eyes glued to her ass.

[cafeacademic]

omg congrats on your milestone!!!! here’s to many more *clink clink*,,, anyways i loVED YOUR ‘off the record’ with fox, and i’m a s1ut for him sOOO maybe prompt 31? f/gn!reader is cool!!

Fox sluts unite I love that man so much. here is some pure smut for our man because he deserves some time off and a bunch of smooches. hope you enjoy my lovely thank you for all your support <33

also i saw that you were working on a new fox thing as well very excited for that👀👀

On Background

click above for AO3 link

Pairing: Fox x Reader

Rating: Explicit (You know the drill)

Warnings: PiV sex, oral sex (m receiving), orgasm denial, teasing, semi-public sex, some objectification of reader (but it's pretty tame)

Word Count: 2.2k

When Fox stumbled into your apartment one night, the first thing he saw was you slamming the door to your closet closed.

“You alright, princess?” he asked warily. He rolled his neck as he removed his bucket, trying to ease some of the tension of the day.

“Yep!” you said a little too eagerly. Fox closed the gap between the two of you, lifting your chin with his forefinger. You looked up at him innocently.

“What are you hiding?” he teased. Leaning into his touch, you smirked.

“Oh, just work stuff. Wouldn’t want to bore you,” you said. Fox narrowed his eyes but didn’t press you further. “Are you working the Chancellor’s speech tomorrow?”

“Don’t remind me,” Fox groaned. The Chancellor’s annual speech was never a fun night for the Guard; they often had to arrive early to help set up, listening to Palpatine fuss for several hours before the actual main event. If that wasn’t already draining, they often had to hear faux praise from the various elites that attended the event, though they knew that most considered them less than human. Sensing that Fox was getting lost in his thoughts, you reached up to plant a kiss on the tip of his nose.

“I’ll make sure to stop by then,” you said, snuggling into his hold. Fox rested his chin on the top of your head, enjoying the feeling of being held.

~~~

The next day, Fox was running around, trying to ensure that everything was set up for the Chancellor’s speech, at least security-wise. In between pretending to listen to the demands of Palpatine and downing cups of caf from the break room, he would respond to the silly comms you would send him. On typical days, you would complain about your coworkers or send him pictures of cute lothcats you saw on the holonet. Today, however, your messages were suspiciously short.

“Miss you xoxo,” your last message read. That had been nearly two hours ago, and Fox hadn’t heard from you since. It was probably for the best, considering how much work he had to do, but it still hurt a bit.

“Are you stopping by?” he tapped out a message to you. A few minutes later, his commlink buzzed.

“Something came up. Have to take the time to get ready for a work thing tonight,” you replied. Normally, Fox would have sulked at the fact that you couldn’t visit, but he was instead intrigued by the fact that you had followed up your message with a photo attachment.

He nearly dropped the comm when he opened the picture. You were laid out on your bed, crisp white blouse unbuttoned and falling off your shoulder. A thin, lacy bra covered your chest, the material a perfect Corrie Guard red. At the very bottom of the photo, Fox could see that your skirt was hiked up over your hips, allowing just a glimpse of the matching panties.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he typed back. He could imagine you smirking down at your comm as you tapped out a response, the image only making his half-hard cock press even tighter against his codpiece. A soft buzz alerted him to your response.

“Is it a good look? I’ve been told that we’re supposed to dress nicely for the Chancellor’s speech. Wouldn’t want to make a poor impression on my first time covering the event,”

Fox nearly groaned out loud; there would be no way he could concentrate if you were going to be at the speech tonight. All he would be able to think about would be how badly he needed to see you in the pretty lingerie you were wearing.

“You better behave tonight,” Fox responded. It was only a few seconds before your reply came.

“But where’s the fun in that, Commander?”

This time, Fox did groan out loud.

By two minutes into the Chancellor’s speech, Fox was already bored out of his mind. Instead of being on alert for attempted assassinations as Palpatine had requested, his eyes were scanning the crowd for you. The general comm chatter from his brothers had become a background hum as he searched for your telltale white blouse.

When he finally found you, he was almost embarrassed that he hadn’t noticed you sooner. You were sitting in the press box near the front, near enough that you could pick up all the details of the speech but out of the way enough that the Chancellor couldn’t see you. As if you could feel his gaze, your eyes immediately snapped to Fox’s visor. You bit your lip teasingly as you toyed with the top button of your blouse. Fox straightened his posture, hoping to convey as much warning as he could with just his body language. You either didn’t notice or didn’t care; likely the latter, seeing as you popped the button with ease and pulled your neckline open slightly, revealing just the top of the lace covering your breasts.

“Hey Fox, you see that girl in the press pit?” Thire’s voice cut through the comm chatter that Fox had blocked out. Thire’s comment, however, snapped him right back to his senses.

“What about her?” Fox snapped back a little too defensively.

“She’s cute, isn’t she? Keeps toying with the hem of her skirt,” Thire commented. Fox bit his tongue to keep from snapping at his brother.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t mind tearing that skirt off of her!” Hound added with a snort. Thire hummed in agreement. Before Fox could start yelling at his brothers, Thorn cut into the conversation.

“Hey, vod? I think that’s the Commander’s girl,” he said warily. Thorn was the only one Fox had confided in about his newfound relationship, and that was mostly because he had heard the two of you going at it in Fox’s office. A number of curses poured over the comm, and Fox smirked at the panicked apologies his brothers gave.

Turning his attention back to you, Fox noted that the second button on your blouse had also come undone. The crimson lace was now peeking prominently through your neckline, and you had a smirk plastered on your face. With a wink, you spread your legs in your chair slightly, allowing Fox a glimpse of your panties.

Faking an important message, Fox pulled out his comm and quickly tapped out a warning: “Keep that up and you’re not going to like your punishment,”

You checked your comm and responded quickly, still smirking. “Aww, can’t handle a little teasing?”

Fox growled quietly under his helmet. Just as he was about to type out a message back, he was roused from his thoughts by thunderous applause, signaling that the Chancellor had finished speaking. Mentally, Fox made a note to thank Palpatine for keeping it short this year. As soon as he was off the stage, he sent you a quick message. “My office. Now.”

You were already sitting on his desk when Fox entered his office, swinging your legs innocently.

“Fucking finally! I’ve been trying to get you alone all night!” you said, hopping off the desk and reaching for your lover. Before you could get to him, however, Fox scooped you up in his arms and pressed your back against the wall.

“You’re unbelievable, you know that?” he growled, voice still modulated by his helmet. You smirked up at him.

“What, you didn’t like my little show? I got all dressed up for you and everything!” you pouted, reaching to take off Fox’s helmet. His hand shot out and gripped your wrist before you could touch him.

“No way, sweetheart,” he said, grinding against you. “You’re not getting away with teasing me that easily,”

Holding you steady against the wall with his hips, he ripped your shirt in two, the remaining buttons flying around the room. He could still feel the heat of your breasts, even through his gloves. You squealed as he pinched your nipple through your bra, admiring how the bud peaked through the red lace. In the back of his mind, Fox worried that he was being too rough with you, that you might not like how he was touching you. His worries were calmed, however, when he saw the absolutely delighted look on your face as you squirmed out of his grasp and sank to your knees.

“Can I please suck your cock, Commander?” you batted your eyelashes. Fox nodded and you launched for his codpiece, getting the armor off in record time. You grinned devilishly at him as you pulled his cock out of his blacks, the tip already flushed a rosy brown and a bead of precum leaking from the tip. When you licked teasingly up the throbbing vein on the underside of his cock, Fox reached out to roughly tangle his fingers in your hair.

“Don’t tease. You’re in enough trouble as it is,” he warned. You obliged, taking him all the way down your throat in one motion. Fox swore loudly, trying to keep from bucking into your mouth. You worked what you couldn’t reach with your hand, twisting your wrist to spread the saliva that was slicking his cock. When Fox’s grip on your hair tightened, you pulled off of him with a pop.

“Was that what you wanted, sir?” you teased. Before Fox could scold you, his words caught in his chest as you began pumping him again, this time slowly working down him with your mouth. The modulated groans of the clone above you made you rub your thighs together for some sort of relief. When you thought he was distracted enough by your tongue, you slid a hand down between your legs.

“Oh, sweetheart. You just keep testing me, don’t you?” Fox growled, tugging you off of his cock by the hair. You looked down sheepishly, not having expected to get caught. Fox quickly discarded his helmet before yanking you back to your feet.

“‘M sorry, sir,” you said. Fox looked like he was going to fall victim to your puppy dog eyes, but he shook his head and adjusted you so he could have access to your clothed cunt. With two fingers, he slid the scrap of fabric to the side, inhaling sharply when he noticed how wet you were.

“Does putting on a show like that get you this wet?” Fox said, lining himself up with your entrance. “You know all my brothers could see you?”

“Really-- fuck!” your words were interrupted by the stretch of Fox sliding into you with one movement. Normally, you would’ve been upset that he didn’t touch you first, but you were so turned on that he slid in with little resistance.

“They were all drooling over you, sweetheart,” Fox said through gritted teeth as he fucked you. The slight jealousy he felt was obvious not just in his voice, but in the rough way he was fucking you, almost as if he was worried you’d disappear out from under him. You grabbed his chin and kissed him passionately.

“Mhmm, but you’re the only one who gets to fuck me, Commander,” you said when you pulled away from the kiss. “I’m all yours, Fox,”

That seemed to unlock something in Fox’s head, because he began fucking you with even more force, trying to get as deep inside you as he could with every thrust. He began to mouth at your collarbone, teeth grazing over the sensitive skin.

“Fuck, that’s right. Mine,” he repeated into your neck. You scrambled for purchase on the plastoid armor he was still wearing as he ruined you, moans pouring out of you too loudly for the only semi-private office. Neither of you seemed to care, though.

“Fuck, Fox, I wanna come,” you whined, shivering from when his groin rubbed against your clit with a well-angled thrust. Fox seemed to contemplate for a moment before grinning into your collarbone.

“No,”

“What do you mean no? Shit, Fox!” you cried out. Fox’s thrusts were getting sloppy, and you knew he was close.

“I mean no. I’m gonna fill up this pussy, and then we’re going to go home, and if you’re good, maybe I’ll let you come then,” Fox said, voice shaking slightly.

“Shit, you can’t be serious. Come on, I’m so close,” you said breathlessly as Fox’s hips snapped into yours with such force that you slid up the wall you were pressed against.

“Maybe you should’ve thought about that before teasing me all night,” Fox growled, breathing heavily. You whined in protest, but he had made up his mind. “Fuck, you’re all mine. I’m the only one who should get to see you like this,”

“All yours, Fox. Only yours,” you moaned, and that sent Fox over the edge. He bit down harshly on your shoulder to muffle his loud groan as he emptied himself inside you. Fox slumped against the wall, leaning into your body, and you pressed gentle kisses to his temple as he recovered.

“You know, I love you and everything, but I need you to get me home so you can fuck me properly,” you said, the serene smile on your face in sharp contrast to how needy you felt. Fox pulled back, leaving one last kiss on the tip of your nose.

“Are you ever going to learn to behave?” he said with mock exasperation.

“No, you like me better this way,” you teased back, making yourself presentable before pulling a lovestruck Fox out of his office, the two of you too enamored with each other to register the catcalls from the other guardsmen.

[ellstersmash]

Not to Keep

Fandom: Mass Effect (Original Trilogy) Pairing: Kaidan x f!Shepard Rating: T for Teen (cw for alcohol use) Words: 2.7k [Read on Ao3]

shep and kaidan go undercover, set early in me1. this was originally a prompt for "fake relationship" from Leather & Lace Romance Week, but then I waited 3.5 years to finish it 🥀

-

It all seemed so simple. Infiltrate a wedding, extract intel on Benezia, use that to find Saren.

Easy-peasy.

Until Shepard shows up in the shuttle bay looking like that. They've only been working together for a couple of months, and Kaidan has seen her covered in blood spatter, dripping sweat post-PT—hell, even bare naked in a hotel room. But it’s safe to say he never thought he'd see her like this. Full makeup, soft curls, a long red dress that shouldn't fit anyone that perfectly, and, dangling from two fingers, a pair of classy black heels.

Kaidan swallows hard and gives her a curt nod. “Ma’am.”

“Alenko.” He shifts on his feet as her eyes travel the length of his body and back up, her cool stare giving nothing away. “You clean up nice.”

“Ah, thanks. And you look—”

“Oh, I'm dressed to kill.” Lips the same shade as her dress curve into a grin. “Figuratively, for once.”

Kaidan chokes and laughs, caught off guard in a mixture of nerves and surprise. “Was that a joke, Commander?”

Her expression narrows into a pinched, self-deprecating smirk. “If you have to ask, then no. And I definitely haven't been thinking about it since Williams zipped this damn thing up.”

The thought of his CO, this formidable woman, giggling to herself over a stupid joke for an hour is... well, it’s uncharacteristically cute. Kaidan rolls it around in his head for an indulgent minute, trying on the fit before letting the image go.

Just one more thing to jam into that Never Gonna Happen file.

“Right,” she says, back to business. “Let’s get this over with.”

They board the shuttle for the short trip to the venue, and go over the mission brief one final time: intel extraction remains their highest priority—one of their hosts, Polona T’Shan, was rumored to have a close business connection with the matriarch; protecting their cover is important, but heavy security is not expected; their false identity profiles should be enough to get them in the door, and from there the two of them will be responsible for avoiding unwanted attention by appearing as a couple.

Kaidan knows his own limits. He’s a soldier, not an actor. This pretending to be someone else, this lie, it isn't part of his training and it sure as hell isn't part of who he is. But if Shepard’s as nervous as he is, she isn't showing it.

She’s looking at him again, in that intense all-in way she sometimes does. Before her, he had never met someone who was aware of—and pursued—what they wanted with such confidence, such dogged determination, and to have that kind of focus set on him even for just a moment is… terrifying. In a good way, he thinks. It makes him feel warm and cold at the same time. It also makes him want to stare right back, but that way lies only trouble, and none of them need another helping. Not right now.

Kaidan leans back and rests his head on the cool, if slightly unsteady, inner shuttle wall as Shepard drums a rhythmless pattern into the space between their seats.

---

Kyra drains her glass.

As it turns out, Asari weddings aren't all that different from the few human ones she’s attended. Though this reception is a far more extravagant affair than she’s used to: four days of mingling and games and dancing and drinking and food. Really not her cup of tea.

And apparently not Alenko’s, either.

He’d made a beeline for the bar as soon as they’d entered, and returned with an easier stride and a glass full of some bubbling neon sugary shit for her. She’d have preferred something stronger, of course, but they do have a mission to complete. If they can manage to get Polona alone for a moment.

She slips her hand into the crook of his elbow and feels him stiffen, then relax. Quick and conscious. He’s nervous, out of place, on edge, and then completely calm and collected.

No doubt in her mind he was the right pick for this one.

The thought settles her stomach, and just in time. Two asari approach, their hands extended in enthusiastic welcome.

“Greetings!” one of them says, with a voice smooth and sweet as wildflower honey. “Oh, what a lovely pair you two make. Right out of the vids, could be. This one’s even better looking up close, don’t you think so, Liria?” The asari takes Alenko’s hand, sensual and deliberate, then turns her attention to Kyra. “And goddess, that dress is stunning; really, sweetie, it fits you like a glove. You”—she drags one finger down Alenko’s lapel—“are a lucky man, I hope you know.”

Eyes wide, he clears his throat and coughs, then regains his composure with a brief glance in Kyra’s direction.

The second asari offers an apologetic look to each of them in turn. “Rialla, darling, slow down or you’ll scare them off.”

“They certainly look sturdy enough.”

“I am so sorry. She’s had quite a bit to drink, I’m afraid. Never could pace herself at a wedding.” She laughs. “My name is Liria, and my companion’s name is Rialla, and ever since we saw you walk in, we have just been itching to get to know you.”

Kyra plasters what she hopes is a warm smile on her face, mentally pulling up her cover identity as reference. “Emily, and I’m delighted to meet you both. This is John, my um—”

“Her very lucky partner.”

The two matriarchs titter and tease him, both in turn, and once again he’s in control. Kyra can’t help but be impressed by how effortlessly he charms them. And she’s far from immune. It’s her mission, yet she is all too prepared to be led around the room by that firm hand at the small of her back.

Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko: respected Alliance Marine, powerful L2 biotic, all-around stand-up guy, and—apparently—a smooth son-of-a-bitch. It’s an unexpected feature for someone so soft-spoken and unpretentious. Like he has a hidden switch somewhere.

Or a button.

Press For Instant Charisma.

She briefly entertains the idea of hunting for it, then aborts the thought with a twist of her lips and tunes back in to the conversation.

---

The lie is getting easier. Shepard is tucked under Kaidan’s arm, and he’s almost comfortable.

Their new friends are exactly the right sort. Nosy, talkative, well into their cups, and connected. Old friends of their mark, both of them, and Liria has history with Benezia herself. Shepard spins her tale about a chance meeting with the missing matriarch at a charity benefit and their tapering correspondence, followed by a rumor igniting hope for reconnection. And they eat it right up.

All he has to do is act natural and help Shepard keep them talking.

“Well, you know Polona wasn’t only Benezia’s lawyer.” Liria leans in close, her voice not quite as hushed as she probably intended. “They were involved, some centuries back. Quite the scandal at the time, but then Benezia always had... selfish tendencies. Now, I’m not sure why they parted ways, or how serious it was, but—”

Not to be outdone, Rialla’s hands flutter for attention as she pipes in. “It must be more than a passing fling from two hundred years ago, though, because I heard that her Turian lover—or, well, husband now—almost called off this very wedding!”

“Really?” Shepard asks. What’s supposed to be idle curiosity is bordering on serious interest, her voice taking on a firm, interrogative quality to match her narrowed gaze, but a brush of his thumb on her shoulder and she reigns it in. Loosens up with a tilt of her head and a hand to his thigh that has him tensing up instead.

“Oh, yes,” Rialla says. “It was all very tenuous there for a while. And to think, then the four of us would never have met!”

Kaidan raises his glass with a smile as genuine as he can muster. “A tragic loss for us, to be sure.”

With a deep, warm smile, Rialla fans her face and leans in close to Shepard, but speaks for the whole table to hear. “Do let me know when you're finished with him, would you, dear? I think I may be quite in love.”

He's fine until Shepard smirks, then he's far too warm. Suffocating.

He tugs at his collar. “You think their, uh, conflict had something to do with Polona and Benezia’s involvement?”

“I seriously doubt it,” Liria says with a dismissive wave of her hand. “That was ages ago, not yesterday. Beni’s still pining after Aeth—”

Rialla laughs. “Oh, it’s Beni, now? I had no idea you were such intimate friends!”

“I’m 800 years old, my dear.” Liria scoffs. “I have quite a few friends you don’t know about.”

“Is that supposed to make me jealous?”

“Of course not, don’t be silly!”

“Silly? Goddess, must you always be so patronizing?”

“Must you always twist my words?”

“Oh, here we go!”

The situation spirals into chaos before either he or Shepard can recover it, and she stands up from the table, pulling at his elbow.

“I love this song,” she mutters pointedly, and leads him to the dance floor. It’s a slow number, thank god. He’s not nearly drunk enough to dance to something with a beat.

They sway slowly, and she presses close, his neck prickling underneath her palm. His own hands settle on her waist, then more naturally to her hips.

“Damn,” she whispers. “Damn.”

“I know. But hey, we’ve got the rest of the night. And tomorrow night. And the next night. And—”

“The next night, I know.” She groans and drops her head to his shoulder.

Kaidan smiles into her hair.

---

The night is officially over. The band is still playing, but most of the guests are gone, and despite making a number of connections, they’ve learned nothing more about Benezia's whereabouts.

They have, however, made decent use of the open bar.

Kyra downs the last of her champagne and orders a cocktail, dealer's choice. It arrives glowing and smoking and she takes the skyward trajectory of Alenko’s brows as a personal challenge not to hesitate.

A potent combination of peppermint and blueberries and battery acid hits the back of her throat and makes her head swim on contact.

Next to her, Alenko is nursing his third.

“How’s your drink?” he asks.

“Surprising.”

“In a good way or a bad way?”

“Um… Yes.” She clinks her fingernail against his glass. “How’s your whiskey?”

He frowns and takes a sip. “This is not whiskey.”

“Didn’t realize you were such a connoisseur.”

“No, I mean it is literally not whiskey. Didn’t have it, I guess.” He drinks again. “It’s weird, right? Walk into any bar on Earth and they’ll have a dozen to pick from, but soon as you take off…”

“Yeah.” She sighs. “No burgers. No guac. No ice cream.”

The low chuckle he gives is a sound she’d like to hear again. And again, and again, and—

“When you put it like that, this spacer life is a real sorry existence.”

Kyra nods and wonders what he misses most from home. Or who. But that is none of her business, so she empties her glass and tips the bartender in preparation to leave.

“Sorry tonight was a bust, Shepard.”

“It wasn’t a total loss. Decent food, free booze.” She rests her chin on one closed fist. “Good company.”

“By that, I assume you mean our new asari friends.”

“Sure.”

Holding his gaze is harder than it should be. He cradles his nearly-empty glass and taps his fingers in sequence. Up and down, like a zipper.

At last, he looks away. “I was going to say ‘beautiful,’ by the way.”

“Hmm?”

“Earlier, before we left. I was going to tell you how incredible you looked, but then you interrupted me, and I never really got the chance to say it so I figured I might as well say it now.”

Warmth rises in her belly and she rides it like a wave, unscathed and unchanged on the other side. She turns to face him, wriggling in the seat in preparation like he’s about to try and upend her. “All right, Alenko. Hit me. I’m ready.”

He gives a huff of nervous laughter, one hand going straight to the back of his neck. “Well, uh... that was pretty much it.”

“That’s it? You waited all night to tell me that you were going to tell me I looked beautiful, but didn’t?”

His lips roll together, and he cedes the point with a tilt of his head, then meets her eyes again before his take a slow, uncertain wander around the rest of her features.

“Shepard,” he says when he makes it back, and it’s a name so overused it may as well be a title—but not spoken like that. Low and drawn out and a little bit reverent, it becomes almost intimate for the first time in years and she can't help but wonder how her first might sound.

“You look really beautiful tonight.”

Oh. Oh no. Kyra knows she should say thank you, and tell him to finish his drink so they can get out of here, but this next wave won’t subside and the air won’t reach her lungs and all she can do is stare at him.

“I mean, not just tonight, but especially—” he continues, visibly flustered by her silence. “You know, the dress and the lips—ah, make-up! And, and the hair and everything, it’s just very, um, tasteful, and… Um.” He clears his throat and pushes his drink away by inches, folding his hands tight together. "Feel free to stop me anytime.”

Ah. There. That’s the Alenko she knows and can handle.

“Now why would I do a thing like that?” she says, sending a silent prayer of thanks to whichever god kept her voice from breaking.

The smile they exchange is soft and charged and it smooths him over. His eyes are brown. Kyra knew that already, but clinically. On paper. Hair: black. Eyes: brown. Year of birth: 2151.

She didn’t know it like this, tangibly, all wrapped up and swept away in a simple fact.

This time she’s the one to give in. “You know, you should really keep that button pressed, Alenko.”

“What?”

“The charisma button.” She jerks her head toward the door, grabs his hand for the sake of anyone who might still be awake and sober enough to notice, and leads him out. “Push it. More.”

“I— what?”

Kyra chuckles to herself and steps into the elevator. “Forget it.”

The doors close once she chooses a floor and she regrets taking his hand because now she has to let go.

Kiss me. Come on, Alenko. Quick, before we go back. She can’t think it any louder, can’t make it any clearer without crossing a line. Be better if he does it, but he won’t. She knows he wants to just like she knows he never will, because he’s a good soldier and a good soldier doesn’t fuck with the chain of command. Not without a compelling reason, at least, and she can’t give him one.

Their floor lights up and reality pours in. He follows her across the dock, at a distance now that no one who would care might be watching.

Kyra takes a sharp, deep breath. Three more nights of this—unless they can get their intel sooner. Three more nights of flirting and dancing and soft touches all for show and not to keep. Maybe she should have brought Williams after all. Or Garrus. Or anyone else.

Distracted, she nearly trips getting into the shuttle, and somehow he’s right there, a broad hand on her waist to steady her.

A nod and he detaches. Steps back. “Ma’am.”

Ma’am. But he is a terrible liar, and she’s never been good at a long con.

[science-hoes]

Warming Up - Jimmy Woo x Reader Smut

Jimmy Woo x Reader Smut (18+ only)

Words: 2k+

A/N: I have done it. I wrote the first (based on my searches) Jimmy Woo smut for tumblr. I love this man so much. He needs to be appreciated. Anyway, this is a really cheesy scenario but I neeeed the *spicy* content. I’ll probably write more Jimmy Woo x Reader because this man has taken over my life. Also this was my celebration post for 1k followers 🥳

Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected sex, cheesy scenario, language

You had been in cold weather before, but it had never been this cold. Fuck. It was painful to walk back to the resting quarters as the slight breeze chilled your bones. Monitoring the town of Westview was stressful, but oh how you envied the seemingly perfect weather that Wanda was generating. And as if on cue, it started to rain. It wasn’t cold enough to form sleet, but it sure was cold enough to quicken your pace. Maybe Wanda could control the weather out here too, to piss off everyone who was surveilling her.

Your walk to the resting quarters was much longer than you would have liked it to be. By the time you reached the temporary building, your body was soaked from head to toe. You entered the resting quarters with your teeth chattering and arms folded across your chest. Just as you were about to enter your section, you bumped into a sturdy figure that grabbed onto you to stop you from falling backwards.

“Hey, Y/N.” Your coworker, Agent Jimmy Woo, greeted. He awkwardly let go of you once he realized he was still cradling your body against his to stop you from stumbling backwards.

You looked up to him, your hair plastered to your forehead from the rain. “Hey.” Was all you managed to say in between shivers.

Jimmy tilted his head slightly. “It’s raining cats and dogs out there. Looks like you weren’t cut out for the cold weather.” He noted, but still flashing his charming smile.

You smiled in return, damn his smile was contagious. “I g-guess not.” Your teeth shattered involuntarily.

Jimmy looked up and down the hallway to check for other agents. “You don’t look so well, Y/N. Why don’t you come on to my room and I’ll get you all warmed up.” He said.

You raised an eyebrow, assuming his offer was meant to be suggestive. “You’ll get me warmed up?” You repeated.

Jimmy’s eyes widened and he began shaking his head. “No, that’s not what I meant. I just- I have hot chocolate in my room.” He rambled.

You smiled and nodded. “Oh, okay.” You said.

Jimmy began to walk down the hall. “It’s this way.” He said, making sure you were okay to walk.

You followed him to the end of the hallway until he scanned his badge at the final door on the left. The door slid open, and you slipped inside his room after him.

Jimmy walked over to his kitchenette and began pulling ingredients from a cabinet. You sat down on one of the chairs in his room, shivering still. Your clothes were still ice cold even with the warm heat blasting from the air vent. You tried to reach for a blanket that was on the chair opposite to you, but as you did, you lost your coordination and fell to the floor with a painful thud.

“I’m sorry.” You immediately said as you tried to lift yourself from the ground.

But before you could open your eyes, Jimmy was already by your side, gently lifting you into his surprisingly strong arms. “Y/N, you’re not okay.” He said worriedly before placing you on his standard twin sized bed.

“I’m fine, I’m just a little cold.” You tried to play off.

Jimmy began to remove your wet jacket from your body before working at your soaked shoes and socks. “You have to get out of these clothes.” He explained.

Your eyes widened slightly as his hands brushed against your hips and slipped under your shirt. “Trust me, I was a Boy Scout. You’ve got mild hypothermia, but it can turn really bad really quick.” He said, but looked to you for permission to keep going.

You nodded, and he pulled your shirt off. You helped carefully lower your pants down, leaving you only in a bra and panties. You could tell, even in the dim light, that he was blushing heavily. “I-I’ll let you do the rest.” He said.

You slipped under the covers before discarding your undergarments onto the floor as well. Jimmy grabbed the blanket you attempted to reach earlier and placed it on top of the covers. You were still trembling pitifully, and it hurt Jimmy to see you like that.

“I’m still s-so cold.” You whimpered.

Jimmy shifted uncomfortably on his feet for a moment before pulling off his FBI jacket. “You need body heat. I can’t give you anything too warm yet or it’ll hurt you.” He explained.

You watched as he looked away from you as he slid under the covers to press against your body. He wrapped his muscular arms around you, pulling your head to his chest. Immediately, your hands found his arms. The sensation of your frigid skin against his was too strong. You needed more of it. You quickly untucked his buttoned up shirt and snaked your hands under to find more exposed skin. Your arms burned as they began to increase in temperature again.

At first Jimmy sucked his abdomen in, trying to hide from your freezing touch, but he soon responded by wrapping his legs around yours. “Geez, Y/N, you’re really cold.” He hissed.

You rolled your eyes, “Yeah, I think we est-t-tablished that.” You chattered.

Jimmy let go of you for a moment, and you made a small whimper that broke his heart. “No, no, I was just gonna take off my shirt. It’ll give you more heat.” He explained.

And hell you weren’t gonna argue with that. He broke the knot in his tie and slid it off his neck before making quick work of his shirt buttons. It only took a short second for him to toss his shirt aside, giving you a quick glimpse of his toned upper body. Goddamn, you wouldn’t have guessed he was so cut from that bulky jacket he always wears. He wrapped his arms around your frail body again, this time defrosting your skin. But you let out an unholy moan as your breasts brushed against the coarse hair dusted on his chest.

Jimmy raised an eyebrow at the sound, but connected the dots as to what happened. “I-I’m sorry.” He stammered, not knowing how to respond.

You huffed a laugh and shook your head. “No, I’m sorry. T-that was out of line for me.” You responded, the embarrassment helping your face heat up.

Jimmy shook his head. “No, it was fine. I mean, it wasn’t a bad thing, it was good. But not in like a creepy way, like a…a normal human response w-“ He rambled.

You cut him off by pressing a chilly kiss against his soft lips. He didn’t move at first, afraid of what to do next. After a rush of confidence, he ran his hand up your neck, anchoring his fingers in your hair, and deepened the kiss. You shifted, pulling him on top of you. But as you did, his chest rubbed against yours again, and you let out another involuntary moan into his mouth. This time Jimmy chuckled and kissed his way down your neck.

“Is this okay?” He asked. “I shouldn’t be taking advantage of a hypothermic person.”

You giggled and shook your head. “No, this is only helping. Trust me.” You responded, feeling heat spreading to all ends of your body.

And that was enough reassurance. Jimmy’s hands delicately traced the sides of your waist as he kissed down to your chest, stopping at particularly sensitive areas to gently suck the skin and leave a pink mark. His nose brushed against the valley between your breasts and placed a sweet kiss there before licking a path up to one of your nipples. He swirled his tongue in lazy circles, taking his time with you.

The sensation of his burning tongue slipping against your icy bud drew a whimper from your chest. Jimmy heard your fussing and reached one of his hands up to your other breast. His fingers twisted the nipple there while simultaneously gripping the other one with his teeth. You gripped the sheets on his bed, twisting them in frustration, and bucked your hips into his chest.

“Jimmy…” You moaned, wanting him to keep caressing your breasts but also keep moving down your body.

Jimmy hummed in response, looking up to you with those sweet brown eyes. “What do you want, baby doll?” He whispered against your skin.

You blushed at his old-fashioned nickname for you but tried to refocus your attention on your body’s demands. “I need you inside me.” You replied.

Jimmy gripped your hips tightly before searing a trail of kisses down your stomach. “Can I taste you first? I’ve wanted to do this so long.” He pleaded.

Your walls involuntarily clenched at his request. You nodded, “Please.” You granted.

Jimmy grabbed your thighs and tossed them over his broad shoulders. He didn’t waste any time teasing you or pressing kisses along the inside of your legs. He licked a long and deep stripe against your pussy, drawing a desperate scream from your throat. He moaned at the amount of slick that he swallowed down.

Without hesitation he delved his tongue into you, sucking with the perfect amount of pressure. You secured your fingers in his black locks, tugging when his tongue snaked deeper into your pussy. He reached up with his thumb and rubbed circles on top of your sweet spot. You weren’t sure if it was the cold or the fact that you had been dreaming of this moment for weeks, but you were quickly approaching your first orgasm of the night.

“J-jimmy, I’m gonna come.” You panted, tightening your thighs around his neck.

“Don’t hold back on me, baby doll.” He mumbled against your folds.

And that nickname pushed you over the edge. Your walls throbbed and waves of electricity shot through your body. Jimmy continued to lap up your juices as you rode out your orgasm on his tongue. You were suddenly very aware of your panting and placed a hand on your chest to feel your pounding heart. Jimmy kissed up your body again, worshipping every patch of skin he could get his lips on.

“Was that okay?” He asked innocently.

You huffed a laugh and met his lips with yours. You could taste yourself in his mouth. “That was…amazing.” You answered. “But I still need your dick inside me.”

Jimmy chuckled against your lips and guided your hands down his firm chest to the waistband of his khaki pants. You could feel his packed bulge against your hands as you whipped the belt from his waist and undid his pants. He kicked them off as you pulled his briefs down, his cock springing free. You took it in your hand, swirling the precum around the tip. Jimmy moaned deeply against your ear, his breath tickling your skin.

You adjusted your hips and swiped the tip of his cock through your folds. Jimmy grabbed your thighs and pulled you closer to him.

“Are you ready?” He asked cautiously.

“Yeah.” You breathed.

Jimmy slowly pressed against your entrance. It probably wasn’t the best idea to start fucking without stretching you out, but that was a problem for tomorrow. You hissed as your walls began to stretch. After what seemed like an eternity, he bottomed out inside of you and you whimpered from the sting. Jimmy leaned down against your body again and pressed kisses against your flushed cheeks.

“Shh, sweetheart. It’s okay. Just breathe.” He whispered.

His gentle words made you smile and you reached up to hold his face in your hands. He flashed that charming smile again, and you couldn’t help but kiss it off his face. “I can keep going.” You mumbled against his lips.

Without moving away from you, Jimmy slowly pulled out, leaving you empty. You were worried that he was going to just torture you before he slammed back into you with full force. You screamed into his mouth and dug your nails into his shoulders.

“Come on, baby doll, I know you can take it.” He whispered, catching your mouth with his.

He pounded his hips into yours at a brutally fast pace, guiding your legs to wrap around his waist. You held onto him for dear life as his cock buried itself into you over and over again. You felt that same build up of heat in your pussy with each snap of your hips. You buried your face in his neck, moaning and panting.

“Jimmy…” You whimpered as your orgasm neared.

Jimmy felt your walls begin to tighten and he quickened his already brisk pace. “Come for me, sweetheart.” He encouraged.

After a few more thrusts, your body let go and your vision went black from the overwhelming sensation. Your pussy throbbed around his cock, but he didn’t let off. He wanted to make sure you came again before he would let himself go. And with your final scream, Jimmy let out a moan in tandem with yours as his cum spilled inside you. The pulsating of his cock was just enough stimulation to help you finish out your own orgasm.

Jimmy collapsed on top of you, and you wrapped your arms around him. For a moment, all you could hear were the staggering breaths heaving from your chests. After a minute of silence, Jimmy looked back up to you, sheepishly this time.

“Are you still cold?” He asked with a joking smile.

You giggled and kissed him gently. “If I say yes, can we do that again?” You teased.

Jimmy laughed and pressed his forehead against yours. “Baby doll, we can do this any time you want.”

A/N: Lmk if you want to be added to my Jimmy Woo x Reader taglist :)

[obeyme-kaidii-writes]

Mammoneru

Mammon x Neru (OC)

Words - 2442

Content warnings - some angst, insecurity, lots of fluff and cuddles, she/her

Prompt/inspiration - request by @otromeru

Summary - After bringing Neru along with him to one of his modeling gigs, Mammon notices that she’s been acting strangely and heads to her room to figure out what’s up.

AO3

Mammon was in a good mood. A really really good mood.

Today he had a modeling gig lined up, which wasn’t all that special in and of itself, but he had finally worked up the nerve to invite Neru along with him. And when she agreed, he was over the moon. He absolutely could not wait to show off for her, so she could see just how cool and awesome he was when he was in his element. There was a reason he was The Great Mammon, after all.

As they walked hand in hand down the road leading to Majolish, Mammon had started unconsciously humming to himself as he gently swung their hands between them. Neru couldn’t help but giggle, shooting Mammon the occasional sideways glances, careful not to let him catch her looking lest he stop being so adorable.

Once they arrived, Mammon only had time to give Neru a quick peck on the cheek before he was whisked away to hair and makeup. A member of staff ushered her over to a table with some snacks and refreshments and told her to make herself at home as they explained the rules and where she wasn’t allowed to go before they left to get back to work. Now on her own, she couldn’t help but feel a little awkward. Everyone else just seemed so busy, taking care of their jobs and various other tasks.

But finally she heard Mammon’s laughter ring out as he returned to set. He looked right at her, locking eyes from the opposite side of the room, and flashing her a brilliant smile. She was quick to return his smile, blushing. He looked so good right then - hair styled in a messy “bed head” sort of way, white button down shirt open and revealing his chest, tight jeans hugging his ass and sitting low on his hips. Soon she found a comfortable place to watch as he set to work.

After a few different set and outfit changes, Mammon was finally allowed a break, and he made a beeline for Neru.

“Good job!” she grinned.

“That’s nothin’ for the Great Mammon,” he said with a broad smile, a light blush dusting his cheeks.

Neru laughed again as Mammon wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her into a quick hug.

“Ya havin’ fun right?”

“Yeah, I’m having a lot of fun. You look great out there,” she paused a moment before continuing, “Umm, do you think I could come again? If it’s not too much trouble, I mean.”

Mammon looked down at Neru, who was now staring up at him with the biggest puppy dog eyes. His face immediately heated up, and he hugged her tighter to stop her from looking at him, which of course only made her giggle again.

“Yeah, I guess ya can,” he said, giving her another squeeze. The idea of having her accompany him to his future shoots made him giddy with excitement, not that he was about to let it show; he just knew he’d be able to do an even better job with her by his side.

They continued to chat for a bit longer before Neru had to excuse herself to use the bathroom. While a staff member showed her the way, Mammon went to mingle with some of the other models who were there for their own gigs.

“Hey Mammon!” one of the demons called out, as they waved him over.

“What’s up?”

“So we were just talking about that human you brought with you.”

“Yeah what is she? Like your pet or something?”

“That can’t be the exchange student right?”

“Uh, well, yeah she’s the exchange student, but…” he started to answer, before another demon interjected.

“She’s a bit plain isn’t she? For a human.”

“Yeah, and kinda short too. Are humans usually that short?”

“He-!”

“MAMMON! Breaks over!” Mammon whipped around to see his manager staring at him, pointing towards the dressing room, “The rest of you, get back to work.”

There was some grumbling from the group of demons, before they all quickly dispersed with a few “See you later, Mammon”-s, leaving him behind. Mammon wanted to go after them and give them a piece of his mind. How dare they talk about his human that way?? What gave them the right? They didn’t even know her!

But before he could take a step in their direction, his manager shouted at him again, interrupting his train of thought. With a huff, he headed towards the dressing rooms instead. He’d just have to find those assholes later and teach ‘em to mind their manners.

——————

In the weeks that followed, Mammon couldn’t help but notice that something was a little...off...with Neru. Previously, she had been a bundle of energy - always smiling and laughing and teasing him. But recently? She just seemed more...subdued?

There were plenty of times he’d catch her with a blank look on her face as she stared at her reflection in various surfaces. And other times when he’d be talking to her, and she would seem to zone out, lost in her own thoughts. It also felt like she had to be avoiding him at RAD, and whenever he did manage to catch her, she would fidget nervously, glancing around the whole time they were together.

At first, he had tried to brush it off as weird human business. Maybe she was just stressed from an exam or something? But as time went on, it became clear that there was definitely a problem, and as her first man and Guardian, it was his job to pry it out of her, wasn’t it?

One evening after dinner, when Mammon was sure most of his brothers had to be asleep, he snuck over to Neru’s room, knocking lightly on the door.

“Oi! Neru! Open up!”

Pressing his ear to the door, Mammon could hear sounds of movement from the inside. A startled squeak, followed by some sniffling, and the shuffling of feet as Neru hurried to the door.

“What’s up, Mammon?” she greeted him with a smile, holding the door open just enough so they could talk.

“I wanna talk to ya, so let me in.”

“Oh, umm, I was just about to go to bed so….” Neru looked away. Normally she thought she was pretty good at keeping a straight face, not wanting to worry those around her and burden them with her troubles, but tonight she was just not in a good place mentally and knew she wouldn’t be able to keep up her facade.

“It’ll only take a minute, c’mon.”

“Sorry, Mammon. I’m just really tired. Goodnight,” she gave him her best, brightest smile before shutting the door.

Only, Mammon was much quicker than she had anticipated and he wasted no time sticking his foot over the threshold, preventing the door from closing.

“Why are ya actin’ so weird?”

“What? I’m not! Honestly! I’m just tired. It’s nothing.”

“Oh, um. Ok,” Mammon said, removing his foot from the doorway as he scanned Neru’s face for any sign that she would change her mind, “If ya don’t want to talk about it…”

He could tell she was lying, he wasn’t sure how he knew, but he did. And if she wasn’t comfortable opening up to him, there wasn’t really much he could do about it, was there? He just wanted to help her feel better, or fix whatever it was that was bothering her. And judging from the expression on her face right now, pressing her further would probably only hurt her more, which was the last thing he wanted to do.

The look on Mammon’s face when he pulled his foot back made Neru’s heart shatter. This wasn’t what she wanted at all. It was in fact the exact opposite of what she wanted. Torn between wanting to avoid the unpleasant feelings she had been trying to hide and her desire to not hurt Mammon, Neru panicked, instinctively reaching out to grab the hem of his jacket when he turned to leave.

“I...I…I…” she stuttered, desperate to try to explain things to him, but all the words caught in her throat. Her eyes started to fill with tears as she stared at his feet. She did not want to cry right then. She really really didn’t want to cry. But no matter how much she tried to will the tears away, they started to fall.

“Neru?” it didn’t take Mammon long to realize she was crying, and he immediately began to panic. Shit shit shit shit! He couldn’t tell if she was crying because of something he had done just now, or if this was why she had been acting all weird, and his mind was racing as he tried to puzzle things out.

Not knowing what else to do, he wrapped his arms around her, gently guiding her back into her room so he could close the door before anyone else saw her. When he tried to let go, she only clung to him tighter as she sobbed into his chest.

“I got ya, I got ya,” he whispered to her, wrapping his arms even more tightly around her in response, holding her close. He began to rub her back, just like she would do for him when he’d have a nightmare or a really crappy day, gently shushing her and reassuring her that he wasn’t going anywhere.

Neru tried to focus on the sound of Mammon’s voice as he spoke to her, trying in vain to calm herself down and regain control over her own emotions. But she had just been so stressed and exhausted, that her body refused to stop now that it had started. She was so embarrassed to be seen acting like such a child.

It wasn’t that she had a problem crying in front of Mammon, or talking to him for that matter, but the problems she was dealing with right now? They didn’t seem like the sort of things she deserved to be so upset about. At least not this upset. Mentioning it would only make Mammon feel bad, and she didn’t want to do that. It wasn’t like it was his fault, or something he could change.

“I’m sorry,” she finally mumbled, sniffling, as she continued to hide her face in Mammon’s shirt, refusing to look at him.

“It’s ok. But ya gotta tell me what’s goin’ on now. I ain’t leavin’ until you do,” he tightened his grip around her shoulders again, making sure she understood just how serious he was about this. It didn’t matter anymore if she didn’t want to talk about it, he couldn’t just walk away and leave her alone after what he had just witnessed.

With a sigh, she nodded against him. While Mammon usually made a point to avoid conflicts, he was extraordinarily persistent when he wanted to be and she knew he wasn’t about to let her talk her way out of this now. And if she was being honest, she was a tiny bit grateful for that right now.

Satisfied with her acknowledgment, Mammon led Neru to her bed, laying down on his side, and pulling her in beside him. He tried not to think about what exactly it was he was doing, he had more important things to worry about after all, like Neru’s well-being. Still, she noticed as she climbed in beside him under the blankets just how hard he was blushing, and a small giggle escaped her lips before she snuggled up next to him.

“So,” Mammon kissed the top of Neru’s head,” what’s up?”

“I heard you talking.”

“Talkin’? When?”

“The day we were at the shoot together.”

Mammon thought back to that day, nearly 3 weeks ago now, when she had gone with him for the first time. He had felt that had been a really good day. He certainly enjoyed himself, and she seemed to as well. But now that he thought about it, she had seemed a little off by the time they had got back home. At the time, he had just assumed that it was because she was tired since it had been such a long day.

And that’s when it clicked for him.

“Wait, you mean when ya went to the bathroom?”

“...yeah,” she replied, nodding meekly, gripping Mammon’s shirt just a little bit tighter.

“Those guys were just assholes. Don’t listen to ‘em. They don’t know what they’re talkin’ about.”

“It’s not like they were wrong though.”

“Bullshit. Of course they’re wrong. They don’t know anythin’ about ya.”

“...but you didn’t disagree. And I know I’m plain. And short. And…”

“Hey, stop it, seriously,” Mammon said, pulling back from Neru in an attempt to force her to look at him, “Don’t talk about yaself like that. I wanted ta beat the shit out of those guys ok? But my boss showed up and they left before I could say anythin’, alright? I don’t think that about you at all. And I don’t wanna hear ya sayin’ those things either.”

Neru was quiet for a moment, turning Mammon’s words over in her head and letting them sink into her heart. She wanted to believe him. She really did. But she knew herself too. And she knew how she looked, how even among humans she was a rather average girl. And compared to the demons with which she now resided, especially with Mammon? She knew he was way out of her league.

But she also knew that Mammon was a horrible liar. And there was no mistaking the sincerity in his voice just now. Regardless of anything else, he truly believed what he was saying.

“...do you mean that?” she mumbled.

“Yeah, I do. Will ya look at me?” Neru hesitantly raised her eyes to meet Mammon’s gaze and he continued, “I think you’re amazing. Like, really, really amazing,” he could feel his face heating up, but he kept going, “You’re beautiful. And funny. And kind. And I don’t know what I would do without ya.”

Tears started to well up in Neru’s eyes again, but for an entirely different reason than before. She could tell just how embarrassed he was right now, and it warmed her heart to see him still trying so hard to compliment and comfort her. As her tears started to fall, she buried her face into the crook of his neck. Mammon wrapped his arms around her once more, pressing another kiss to her head.

“I love you,” he whispered as Neru nuzzled against him, and breathed in his scent.

“I love you too, Mammon.”

[purplellamanator]

Sorry for the delay! This is the first part of my contribution for @shinranweek The above link is to read the story on AO3 or if you prefer to read off of fanfic, just click here! Of course since this is a tumblr event, the chapter will be posted below the cut. I originally wanted this posted for day 1 for first meetings but unfortunately life got in the way. Just a little insight though, this is heavily inspired by movie 20 The Darkest Nightmare. This is not completed though and I'll post the next part later. Sorry if it seems rushed and thanks to @shinranweek for hosting the event! Loved all the shinran content this week!

Amnesia Part I

Her head. . . . It was pounding so hard she thought it'd implode in on itself.

She clutched at the source with one hand and continued walking forward blindly. Everything she did was blindly. Where she was going, where she came from, why her head hurt. . . who she was; it was all lost to her. And she kept moving forward.

Where was she anyways? Glancing around cautiously, her hand still pressed to her head and now as a slight shield from the blistering sun, she tried to discern her surroundings. It was hard though. Her head was pounding and she could barely think. There was so much noise going on around her to add to that and- she was going to pass out.

Eyes landing on a bench, the woman stumbled hurriedly to the wooden chair before collapsing on it. She felt slightly better now that she was off her feet but not by much. It did allow her to actually see through the fog that was clouding her already injured mind and she lost the need to hold herself together.

Laughing and talking; there was a lot of that. There were families milling about, smiling and chattering excitedly. Obviously she was in a family park of sorts . . . but what had brought her here? Was she here with her family? If so, where were they?

Eyes moving around slowly before seeing a massive ferris wheel in the distance, she felt a semblance of knowledge itch at the corners of her mind. Something was familiar. . Something was familiar about that wheel. .

Had that been why-?

She jerked suddenly when she realized she wasn't sitting alone anymore. Looking beside her, it was a man, not that old at all and maybe in his younger twenties. The surprise wasn't what made her jump though. He was- had he been smelling her?

Even after she jumped away and stared at him as if he lost his mind, the man continued to sniff at her as if he were some sort of dog.

Finally, she cleared her throat. "Um . . . " She wanted to cringe at how awkward the one sound had been. What do you say when one human being sniffs . . another. . ?

And if possible, the man leaned back against the bench completely nonchalant. As if he hadn't just been smelling her . . .

"Gasoline."

His voice had come so abruptly and her eyes blinked in confusion. "Excuse me?"

"Gasoline," the man repeated, a satisfied look in his blue eyes. "You smell very strongly of it."

Did she really? The woman raised her arm to her face and sniffed, brows furrowing when she discovered that he was right. The odd stranger was correct and she did smell very strongly of gasoline.

"Are you okay?" He asks when she was still trying to figure why she would smelled like she took a bath in a gas station.

Her eyes flit to his. "I- I think so."

The stranger's brows lifted curiously. She didn't blame him for looking so confused. How could she not know if she were alright? He didn't question her response though and instead said, "You don't look okay. You look and smell like you've been in an explosion." She was sure that was meant to sound like a joke but the possibility that that very well could be true reflected in his gaze; a hint of seriousness.

But for the first time, and only because this stranger pointed it out to her, she was actually taking in her appearance. Clothes disheveled and dirtied, hair tangled and a welt on her head; safe to say she looked and felt like she'd been through an explosion or two.

"Forgive me for cornering you like this but you appeared distressed," he apologized but somehow he didn't sound very sorry at all. "I just saw you stumbling around in those heels and I thought you'd pass out until you collapsed on this bench. Were you coming from work?"

"Work?" The woman mumbled to herself and again took notice of the gray pencil skirt and the white button-up blouse she wore. Where did she work? Did she even work? She could feel the headache coming back again. Or maybe it had never gone away and she had been able to forget about it momentarily. "I don't know," she finally said in a slow realization and his eyes widened even more.

"Do you know your name?"

Do you know your name?

The voice that resounded after his wasn't hers and she heard it only in her mind. A memory- but from what she didn't know. She had been asked that before but she couldn't remember when or why. For some reason, it made her head throb from trying to remember. "My name. . . ?" She was staring hard at the concrete before her on the ground as she continuously ran that question through her head.

"Can you remember?"

She could hear him right beside her- practically feel him leaning towards her when she didn't respond right away. But for some reason it felt like he was muffled and suddenly the man was miles away and she was stuck in her head. "What's my name. .?" So many thoughts rushed at her in that moment and she raised a hand to her welt to try to soothe the pain radiating from it. But it wasn't soothing it; it wasn't making it better and soon both hands were clutching her head as she attempted to recall something that should've been so simple. "My name?" she repeated again and now her breaths were coming out panicked.

Why couldn't she remember her name? It was hers and she couldn't say it?

"Hey!" She could barely feel a firm hand splay across her back as if to comfort her. "Breathe. I'll call an ambulance and we'll-"

"No!" She jerked away from him roughly and attempted to come to a stand. Her legs wobbled and she could barely make a decision between holding her head together or balancing on her own two feet. Something about his statement had her body reacting automatically though and she just knew she couldn't go to a hospital. Why? She didn't understand that yet but her instincts were telling her no and as of now, her instincts were all she had.

The man rose too and moved slowly towards her as if approaching a scared animal. "We'll get you help. We'll find where you came from," he tried again and went to help her stand.

Where I came from. . to take me back. . . ? Back to-

Nails digging into her head as the pain became intense, she stumbled away each time he moved closer. "No," she shook her head and it became apparent to her that tears were streaming down her cheeks from the pain. "I- I can't-!"

Couldn't what? Go to the hospital? Go back to some unknown place that her body was rejecting? It was all too much.

And suddenly startling them both and everybody in the vicinity, she began screaming from the pain as something tried to force its way to the forefront of her mind. It couldn't though and it was just so much pain and she couldn't stop yelling and before she knew it she was falling and falling.

Heavy lids blinking open a few times to adjust to the brightness, she felt weird. Her head was sore but that was a given. But she didn't feel herself as if she were a mind in someone else's body. That's what she really was in that moment considering she couldn't recall something so simple as her own name.

Her mouth felt dry and her eyes tight as she took in her surroundings. She was in a bed- a hospital room and hooked up to some IV that was probably full of saline. Something else she became apparent to was the fact she was all alone. No one else was in the room with her.

So why was the first thought to strike her was to sneak out that far window? It was like an unconscious reaction that she shouldn't be there in that room; that she had somewhere else she needed to be and that she knew deep down she was never to be in a hospital.

But why?

Thankfully, the woman didn't get the chance to act out her idea because in the next second the door was creaking open slowly and a head was peeking in. It was the stranger- the man from before. And when he saw that she was awake and sitting up in her bed, a grin cracked across his face.

"I'm glad you're awake. How are you feeling?"

Honestly, she felt terrible. "Better," she said instead. At least she could actually remember what happened before she landed herself here.

"Remember anything?"

She gave him a curious glance. "I remember my head hurting and passing out while we were talking." That was it and he understood fully what she meant. She still couldn't remember her name or anything else before they met.

He must've saw the way her eyes slowly slid around the room uneasily. "I took you to a friend. We're not in a hospital."

Those words really did bring a certain amount of relief for her. Though she still had this mild feeling of wanting to jump out the window, it felt like a weight had lifted off her.

Stepping further into the room, he took the seat beside her bed and she wondered if he had really been here the entire time waiting for her to wake up. "We'll figure it out soon enough. A detective is waiting to speak with you when you're ready."

Detective? Her insides clenched and that again was another red flag. She didn't want to speak with a detective. Swallowing away her body's natural panic, she attempted to pay it off. "Y-you called the police?" She wasn't fooling this man though and she briefly wondered how he could read her emotions so easily.

"Let's just say they're my friends as well," he gave a small but relaxed grin.

Other than for the heaviness of her head, she really felt better now. If he was telling the truth then he had saved her from having to worry about any legal consequences or actions. "Who are you?" He hadn't told her after all. He had been too busy . . smelling her and asking for her name. But he had helped her as well it would seem. Such an unusual person. . .

His blue eyes widened as if he just realized he never told her that. It seemed unlike him but his cheeks actually tinted a slight pink. "I can't believe I didn't even tell you my name," he scratched the back of his brown hair awkwardly and she could hear the unspoken apology in his tone. "I'm Kudou Shinichi." He said it so proudly and matter of fact that the woman was taking back her earlier accusation. He wasn't awkward because he had forgot to mention his name. He was just used to people already knowing it and since she didn't she hoped that didn't take him down a notch. After all, she couldn't even recall her own so why would she remember his?

Kudou Shinichi.

But then again, maybe she did. There was some sort of recognition that came with the name.

Again, that awakened a voice within her but this time she didn't push the fact. Last time she had given herself a migraine and she thought her brain would explode.

"Thank you then, Kudou-san," she said sincerely. "I'm sorry for any trouble this has caused you."

"Not at all," he waved her off. "I'm a de-."

A firm knock resounded around the room before the door creaked open slightly again. Only this time it was someone the woman did not recognize. Based off their clothes though, she was able to determine it was one of her nurses.

She was proven correct when the woman clad in her scrubs turned to another and said, "She's awake but the doctor doesn't want you questioning her long. We're still examining the severity of her brain damage and she doesn't need any stress." And then the door was held open farther so a couple could enter; one man and one woman.

She determined these were the detectives Kudou-san had warned her about. Instantly, she was on guard but she couldn't tell what was to blame. Her body seemed to do it unconsciously and she knew she couldn't speak freely with them. Why would it matter though? She couldn't remember anything not to speak freely with them. And Kudou-san had also said that they were there as his 'friends'.

As they stepped closer and she tensed even more, Kudou-san stood up in what seemed respect to greet the other two. Soon he was moving aside granting them full access to her bedside and she felt her chest cinch up nervously.

Her gaze instantly appraised the woman. She held a certain air of authority that demanded it. She seemed to be in her thirties maybe, the injured girl couldn't tell. But through her stern features she seemed kind enough so far. The man appeared much more at ease than her. She didn't want to mistake it for timidness but she could tell who was the boss in this partnership. Or better yet, who bad cop good cop was.

The woman was the first one to address her proving her theory even more. "I'm Detective Sato and this is my partner Detective Takagi." She paused to give her a chance to speak but all she could do was nod her head respectfully. It wasn't like she could respond with her own name.

"Kudou-kun suspects you've been in an accident of some kind. Not only would we like to find and hold whoever is accountable, our goal is also to identify whom you are."

"I don't think I'll be much help," she admitted apologetically. "I don't remember anything before meeting this stranger." Her eyes flit to the brown haired man that stood to the side.

The woman nodded her head as if she already knew this. "After what Kudou-kun described earlier today and what the doctor explained, I don't expect you to remember anything. So I'll ask you a few basic questions and if you can't answer them, that's okay."

She wasn't too sure that was a good idea. After the pain from last time. . .

The two detectives must've noticed the uneasiness on her features and Detective Takagi actually spoke up. "We don't want to further your condition. Don't push yourself."

Detective Sato nodded before clearing her throat. "It is to my understanding that you don't remember your name so I won't bother asking you about that. Instead, I'd like to know the first thing you do remember."

She swallowed uneasily as she watched the detectives before her. The woman couldn't really understand why but their presence bothered her a great deal. To forget about that, she tried focusing on the question. The very first thing she could remember . . .

"I-I was in an alleyway," she revealed. "My head hurt badly and I didn't know what was going. I could barely stand."

"Can you recall where this alleyway was?"

She shook her head slowly. "I hadn't stuck around for long." Her tone seemed curious about her actions; or maybe perturbed as to why she hadn't. It was something deep down inside of her that told her she had to keep moving.

"Why did you go to that park specifically? Why not the police?"

The ferris wheel.

The answer surfaced swiftly and assuredly through her thoughts. She didn't know why she went there just for the ferris wheel but the fact she knew even that much was something. Yet. . she didn't tell them.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "It felt safer and just calm. I wasn't thinking to go to the police." Of course she left out that she couldn't go to a police department. But she could just use the excuse of confusion until she knew what was going on with her. To be fair, she really was confused.

Detective Sato nodded before pulling a card from her pocket. "I didn't expect you to know much and you are on bed rest so I'll end this here." Handing the card to her, the injured girl looked at it curiously. "That's my number. If you remember anything about yourself or the accident, call me."

She nodded again and her cheeks tinted a slight pink. That's all she's done for the past few hours. How embarrassing it was that she couldn't even think to hold a conversation. "T-thank you," she choked out but it sounded completely forced and her grin appeared as a grimace. And either they didn't notice or they just didn't feel like making her even more uncomfortable because the detectives bowed their heads respectfully before exiting.

Not giving her a chance to relax, the door opened again and now what she assumed was her doctor entered. She watched the man even more uneasily. For some reason the doctor bothered her more than the detectives. The man didn't seem too bad. A normal middle aged man dressed in his medical coat and carrying a clip board; there was nothing particularly daunting about him but something . . frightened her.

She started sweating. Her heart beating furiously could be heard on the monitor and she felt her cheeks enflame even more.

"Looks like someone's afraid of the doctor's office," he joked with a warm smile and a wink. "I'm Doctor Araide. I've been looking after you since Kudou-san brought you in."

That didn't put her at ease at all and she swallowed through her dry throat. Forcing herself to breathe evenly, the beeps from the monitor slowly went back to normal. She was thankful the doctor hadn't made too much of a big deal over it but Kudou-san was actually looking at her with a calculating frown. All she could do was try to convince her brain that it was alright. They weren't really in a hospital and that she needed to calm down.

"Well," he went to sit on the chair beside her and she tensed up some more. He didn't point it out this time thankfully and continued with," I have some bad news and some good news."

"What's the bad?" she took the initiative to ask. She'd rather get that out of the way first.

Doctor Araide sighed before shaking his head. "We ran prints and DNA through our systems and through the police department's records as well to see if we could pin you with a name. You're not in any of the systems and no one has reported a missing persons case." Seeing the disheartened look on his features he said, "Don't worry. That could mean many things. You just might not be around from this part of Japan and thankfully you don't have a record to warrant the police's attention."

She nodded slowly, trying to focus on the positive side. It was hard though when she was so confused. She literally had nothing. Not even memories.

"Now for the slightly better news. . . " And for this he actually looked at his clipboard and flipped back a few pages. "I'd still like to do a few more brain scans just to make sure your condition hasn't worsened but it appears to be psychogenic amnesia."

"P-psychogenic. . . ?"

"Retrograde amnesia," he corrected for her in simpler terms. "It's a form of memory loss that can follow a physically or emotionally traumatic event. Luckily, I believe yours isn't too severe."

"So. . . I won't keep passing out?" she asked hopefully from her bed. It hadn't been a very nice feeling from what she could remember and waking up hadn't been any easier either.

Doctor Araide sighed as if he didn't want to make her any promises. He probably couldn't and instead said, "I think that was your body reacting to a memory that . . . psychologically," he finally settled on that word, "you wanted to avoid."

"Basically. . . I don't want to remember." The injured woman nodded but could feeling the beginnings of a headache; only this time it was different. Instead of just straight and abrupt pain this one seemed to stem from stress and disappointment. What had happened to her so bad in her life that she didn't want to remember any of it?

"Not necessarily," the doctor said anxiously. He must've saw what her own statement meant for her. "It was only a theory. What's more important is there was no physical damage to the brain. Cases like these- I don't want to give false hope, but typically my patients that have experienced something similar, all regained some form of memory to their life before their accident."

Though he basically told her not to get too excited, her heart grew brighter. Maybe she wouldn't be a nobody forever and like he said, at least there was no serious damage. "Is there anything I can do that will hasten the process?" The woman didn't want to lose her calm façade in front of the doctor but it was hard to hide it in her voice.

And like a doctor would, he detected it easily. "You're still on bed rest," he warned. "Besides the amnesia, you suffered some major bruising to your ribs and abrasions to your face."

Her eyes widened. She hadn't even noticed. Had she been walking around with bruised ribs all this time? It was hard to believe but maybe whatever accident she had been in numbed her.

"I-" She cut herself off nervously. She didn't want to stay here. Doctors were meant to help people; she knew that deep down. But a certain fear deep inside of her chest- she couldn't deal with that here and surrounded by it. "I don't want to stay here."

And just like that, both the doctor's and Kudou-san's eyes were flitting towards her incredulously.

"I don't think you understand the severity of your condition," Doctor Araide started. "Your wounds are ones fitting of a car accident. You are in no state to be living on your own. And legally, I cannot let you leave on your own."

She wasn't legally a patient here. She was sure of it from Kudou-san's words and she wasn't about to stay here longer than she had to. She didn't want to be here and as far as she was concerned, she didn't have to be. She tried to be nice and let them have their questioning and their tests. Now she wanted to leave. She was fine just on her own until that stranger started smelling her. She wished she jumped out that window when she had the chance.

"Any more stress could damage your chances of gaining anything from your past."

That had her pausing her retort, biting her lip in contemplation. She didn't want to stay here. This wasn't comfortable for her. In fact, it frightened her quite a bit and what was even worse- she didn't know why.

Seeing that she wasn't too fond of this place but also realizing she understood her condition, the stranger from before spoke up again only this time addressing the doctor. "She can stay with me."

The doctor was staring at her now, a frown on his face before turning that disapproving stare on Kudou-san. "It was already wrong of me not to send this woman to a hospital let alone to not call the police. How can you ask me to let her leave?"

"She'll stay at my house. I have more than enough room and I'll watch over her," he replied easily while giving her wary sideways glances. It looked like he was worried she was going to just jump and leave herself without listening to what they had to say.

It was tempting.

"I'll let you leave tomorrow morning if you stay the night," was the doctor's final offer. Either that or he would more than likely inform the law enforcement. She didn't want to risk getting any of them in trouble for hiding this for her.

Lips pursed uncomfortably, she nodded her head once. "And then I can leave?"

"Like I said earlier, I want to run a few more brain scans and make sure there's no lasting damage through the night. After that, I am letting you leave with Kudou-san to be in his care." Doctor Araide put extra emphasis so she knew she would not be leaving alone.

True to his word though, the next morning she and Kudou-san were filling out documents. The entire time Doctor Araide was standing over her- prattling her to stay. After the restless night she had however, that wouldn't be happening. It was like she was about to crawl out of her skin. She didn't feel safe.

"Ma'am," the doctor turned to face her. "I really do not recommend this." It was a last ditch effort really. The hours long process was finally over and Kudou-san was pulling his car around as she waited.

"I know. Thank you for all you've done," she bowed. If it hadn't been for the fact that this was his practice and they had in fact taken her to a hospital, she knew this wouldn't have gone done as smoothly as it did.

Doctor Araide sighed disappointedly. "Please come back if you experience any pain or illness. You have a head injury and that could make appearances as nausea, soreness- anything." And he too was handing her a card and she couldn't believe she was receiving a second one. "This is my work number. It's always on and do not hesitate to call. Kudou-kun has my number as well."

After a few more departing words on the doctor's part on how she needed to be careful, she was waiting in the passenger seat as Kudou-san talked privately with him. She didn't pay it any mind and figured the man had finally given up on trying to convince her to stay there. Instead, he must be giving Kudou-san explicit instructions as he had done prior with her.

She jumped when the door opened and he slid into the driver's seat. Not realizing he was done talking, the girl noticed the doctor was long gone and not even standing on the porch any longer.

"So," he began as he buckled his seatbelt. "Is there anything you'd like me to call you?"

His question actually threw her. She just assumed she'd be left a no-name until she either remembered or those two detectives identified her- whichever came first. The woman thought about it though before shaking her head. Thinking about it gave her a headache and she honestly didn't know what she'd like to be called. Her real name definitely but at the moment that wasn't a possibility. Then to make it even harder, she knew nothing about herself to conjure up some nickname.

Kudou-san waved her off. "We'll figure something out," he said reassuringly. "Let's get you settled in first."

"Where are we?" she piqued curiously. Somehow her brain had retained the information that she was indeed Japanese and still in Japan. Why it didn't know anything else she'd never figure out.

"I live in Beika."

All she could do was nod again. Nothing seemed familiar about the area or name. A little bit of her hope diminished with that but she wouldn't get too discouraged yet. The doctor had hinted that this loss was more than likely temporarily until her mind could come to grips with what happened.

For some reason, when she was informed that she'd be staying with this Kudou Shinichi, she had pictured an apartment. Maybe a two bedroom flat in the city. What their car pulled up to however, she was practically pressed to the window in amazement.

It was a mansion- and no, she was not exaggerating. The house was huge and gated in and everything. Again she had to ask, "Who are you?" Not just anybody could afford a place like this. He had to be somebody important.

He looked at her surprised as he walked up to the gate and pulled it open. It was already unlocked apparently. "I already told you." When he saw she was still looking up in awe at the place that would be her home for at least the next few days, he sighed. "My mother is an actress and my father is an author. They left me the place to live in the States."

Glancing at him, she had a brief moment to wonder if that's why she recognized his name. The fact he had famous parents was more than explanation enough. She was curious to just who his parents were now but he seemed uncomfortable on the topic so she respectfully didn't push it. Instead she said, "Is it just you here?" She was curious. He looked to be in his early twenties and he wasn't bad looking at all. Maybe he had a wife or girlfriend.

"Well now there's you," he pointed out.

Blinking, she was a little flabbergasted that he owned this mansion all to himself. "You live here alone?" Still staring at the hard iron gates blocking the entry way, she felt a sort of cold sensation overcome her. How could someone live in such a big building all by themselves? She knew already that she wouldn't want to and she didn't even know who she was.

Kudou-san took a moment to pause and look at her as if she needed to pay attention. "No. Now, you live here too."

She actually took a moment to glare at his retreating back. The woman wasn't able to tell he was joking until he turned and gave her a small smirk. It was hard to stay irritated when someone smiled at you like that. And the fact he kept this entire thing a secret also helped but she didn't really want to bring that up anymore. Instead, she wanted to focus on getting to know the new place she'd be staying at for however long he chose to deal with her.

After he shut the gate behind them and resumed strolling down the pathway, her gaze raked across the front entrance and the surrounding yard. There was grass and it was green and there was indeed paint on the shutters and front door, but something disturbed her about the scene. She couldn't explain it well but it all just seemed so . . . dead. The front area near the front windows was completely bare where it appeared a garden may of been there quite some time ago. Actually entering the house and into the foyer, the shoe cubby was empty except for one pair. And eyes scanning the barren walls and the way their voices echoed around the spacious house- it was empty.

And there she had the answers to her own curious questions. There was no wife. There was no girlfriend. And based off the shoe rack, there wasn't even any guests. Did he really live here. . ? A hollow feeling ironically filled her heart. She couldn't explain it but she had the weird urge to open the shades and start cleaning. Not that it was messy or anything. It was clean- too clean if possible.

Kudou-san didn't notice the way she scrutinized the building as she followed him up the stairs. If he did, he didn't say anything about it and she walked quietly in his slippers. She assumed they were his considering they were the only pair by the door and he was forced to walk around in his socks. He must not receive many visitors.

"You can stay in here," he said as he opened one of the many doors in the upstairs hallway. "Since I only really had the night to prepare, it's not much. We can go out and buy you some clothes and stuff tomorrow though if you're up to it." It came out unsurely and when she glanced back at him he was scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

The woman shook her head with a small grin. "This is fine. Thank you for allowing me to stay." She was still curious as to why he did it. He had no clue who she was and neither did she. She had absolutely no memory of her prior life and some possible health issues. If she was asked, she'd say she was more trouble than it was worth.

"I have a neighbor that is about your size. She lent me some clothes for you to use- if you don't mind them of course," he corrected quickly.

Eyes a bit wide from the fact he actually thought she'd care about having to borrow clothes, she shook her head again. "I am very thankful for her offer and would be more than happy to get out of these." She had been wearing the same clothes she woke up in the first day with Doctor Araide. He had given her a pair of hospital pants and a white t-shirt.

"I have your original clothes in the wash." He had a thumb pointing behind him in the direction she assumed was the laundry room.

All she could do was bob her head in acknowledgement. In a way, she was thankful. Those clothes were her only grasp on where she had come from. On the other hand, they sort of felt detached. She couldn't remember anything about them so they almost held no meaning to her. She just wished she could remember something.

"Is your head hurting?"

She almost wondered why he would be asking her that but then she took notice to the frown she had on her features. The girl hadn't even realized she'd been doing it. Straightening her features, she fixed her lips upward into a small grin. "Not at all."

Kudou-san had been in the process of saying something when the grand doorbell resounded around the massive home. A confused scrunch of his brows showed he wasn't expecting any visitors today. "Excuse me," he nodded his head at her before turning to go. "Go ahead and settle in."

Back facing her, the man wasn't able to see the puzzled and incredulous look she bore. Settle? Settle what. Turn down her sheets to go to bed? She had nothing. There was nothing to settle. Not saying anything though, she decided to just follow him. It might be those two detectives with a lead.

"I told you not on the first day," he came Kudou-san's disapproving tone. He didn't sound angry but there was hint of scolding in his tone and she wondered who was on the receiving end. "She just got back from the doctor's and she needs to rest today." He was glancing down, almost bent over at the waist to talk down. Now she was curious.

"I just wanted to give her these!" came a cheerful voice if she'd ever heard one.

Making her way further down the steps, she noticed the way Kudou-san gripped the door open enough for him to speak. Hoping it wasn't too forward of her, she pried the door open further. It was obvious they were talking about her anyway and she didn't feel like resting much.

Shocked at first, it was enough to catch him off guard and the door opened further. Eyes looking forward, her eyes had to flit down when she realized once again, it was a small child; a little girl. Her hair was dark and cut short, a headband with a bow on her head. All in all, she looked adorable and the woman felt a wide smile tug at her features.

Practically shoving the man out of the way- or even forgetting he was there, she came to a kneeling position. "What did you want to give me?" she asked softly at the child's wide eyes. She wasn't sure but she hoped her sudden appearance hadn't frightened the girl. She really was tiny and she had to wonder how old she was. Maybe seven, if she had to guess?

The small girl's cheeks turned a flustered pink as she hid her hands behind her, an embarrassed look as she glanced at her feet. "I can come back tomorrow. Shinichi-oniisan says you need to rest."

Unlike with Kudou-san, she was being shy. It was no surprise considering she had no clue who she was.

The woman made to appear as if she were thinking. "Well, we can tell Shinichi-oniisan that the sun's still up," she replied with a sideways glance in his direction and she almost laughed. That got the little girl looking up at her again she felt her heart warm as a small giggle escaped her.

"What's your name?"

Now a bit more at ease she excitedly said, "Yoshida Ayumi!"

"That's really pretty," she complimented and if possible, the pink on the small child's cheeks got pinker.

"My parents named me after my grandmother. It means to step or. . to walk your. . " She kept stuttering and cutting herself off as she thought really hard to remember.

The woman wasn't really sure where the burst of knowledge came from but she paused the struggling verbal thoughts of the girl. "To walk your own way," she corrected.

Ayumi gasped happily. "Yes! That's it!" She giggled herself when the girl bobbed her head excitedly.

"Here you go, Onee-chan!"

The woman had to blink at the sudden appearance of flowers in her face. When she realized this must've been what the girl was hiding behind her back, she smiled before grabbing the stem from the child's hand. They were orchids and they were almost a violet color. Where had she pulled this from?

Eyes moving back to Ayumi-chan's, she smiled wider. "Thank you. It's really pretty."

Ayumi-chan pointed at the woman's face. She had to blink again from the sudden closeness. "Just like your eyes!"

Her eyes? The woman hadn't really paid that any mind. Now that she thought about it, she hadn't even looked in a mirror yet. Surprisingly she hadn't thought to do so. Most of her time had spent in a doctor's office. It would be like staring at a stranger anyway.

"My eyes?" She still repeated as she stared into space. How could she not know the color of her own two eyes? She felt her head start to ache.

Ayumi-chan nodded surely. "Say. . . what's your name?" It must've just hit her that she wasn't aware who she was talking to. Truthfully, the woman had forgot herself too. So used to being a noname for the past two days, she didn't think to introduce herself.

"Um. . . "

Kudou-san saw her unease and appeared ready to turn this conversation around. Ayumi was way ahead of him however.

"I'll bet your name is Ran- like the orchid!" she chirped excitedly as she pointed at the flower that she still held in her hand.

Ran? Was that her name? There was nothing there; nothing familiar about the title. But as she twisted the violet orchid in her grasp, and turned the name over and over in her thoughts, she felt a slow smile return to her face. It did have a pretty ring to it.

Kudou-san looked fully prepared to scold her. He didn't want the woman to have another meltdown from trying to force a memory. "Ayumi-chan-!"

But she interrupted him. "How did you know?"

And the man had to take a second to wonder if she really remembered and that was indeed her name. But based off the humorous twist to her lips, he could tell it was mostly to amuse the small girl. If it really was her name, she didn't know but she didn't appear to be about to argue it.

"I knew it," Ayumi-chan gasped happily. "It's because of your pretty eyes!"

"Ayumi!"

All three heads shot up to glance just before the Kudou manor gates. There were two boys that appeared to be the same age as the small girl and she figured they must be classmates.

"Oh! That's Genta-kun and Mitsuhiko-kun. I'm supposed to be working on school work with them." With that she practically skipped down the front entrance steps towards the two boys. "Bye Shinichi-onii-san! Bye Ran-nee-chan!"

Little girl long gone and now back Kudou-san glanced at her. "That was nice of you."

The woman was still sitting on the couch, violet orchid in her hand as she twirled the stem. "It's not like I had a name to begin with," she shrugged. She couldn't hide the warm feeling she felt though. For once, that she could remember, someone had given meaning to something in her life. Even if it was because of chance that her eyes happened to be the same color of that particular orchid. She had a name with a meaning. She had a meaning.

Her eyes slid over to Kudou-san whom hovered in the doorway. His own gaze shot to the floor and she couldn't really tell but it seemed like his cheeks gained a tint of color. Had he been watching her?

He cleared his throat. "I could get a small vase for that," he suggested looking up at her finally. "Did you want one, Ra-?"

He cut himself off abruptly and this time she was positive he turned red.

She wasn't at all offended by his forwardness. In fact, she felt better knowing that he now had a name for her. She wasn't nameless. He probably felt uncomfortable or rude calling her some child's nickname. "I have something else in mind . . and," glancing briefly at the flower again and back to him, a small grin twisted her lips. "You can call me Ran."

[nafeary]

Napoleon, Theo, Dazai, and Jean reacting to College Student!MC Stressed by Deadlines

Requested by @hqissodelicate:

hey toni boo, sara/delicateikemenmemes here ❤ i've been Going Through It with school 😔 so i was thinking of how my boos napoleon, theo, dazai & jean would react to MC who's a (stressed, exhausted) student who got yeeted to the mansion in the midst of a bunch of deadlines? thank you boo & i hope you're drinking your water 💙😤

✧✎ A/N: I’m sorry it took me this long to finish... but this was super fun to write and it helped me get back into writing after such a long break due to school bs. I’m not too satisfied with Dazai’a and the haphazard scenario/headcanons mush, but I still quite like this I think. Thank you for the request dear! Take care and drink water, everyone!

Warnings: Stress and mild mentions of anxiety, and like one mention of sexual intercourse

Napoleon Bonaparte

“You’re just a chore, after all.”

You whirled around. “Don’t act like your job is going to be that hard,” you could only scoff in annoyance, “I’m going to be inside my room all day, anyway.”

At first, Napoleon was slightly confused by your statement. Wouldn’t you want to explore this new world at all? But according to code, he’d just smirk and go (sleep) do smth

And true to your statement, you did stay inside your room for the most part

It’s not like your quadrillion essays would write themselves

It’s not like your college would just excuse your tardiness

It’s not like—

“Nunuche, you sure you don’t need a break from... whatever you’re doing?”

Napoleon was quite suddenly standing besides you, trying to read the mess that you’ve created.

“And who gave you permission to enter?”

“Me, obviously. I did have the impression that you were in danger, judging from the amount of curses I perceived.”

You could have died from embarrassment. Of course he had to hear your yells of frustration, stemming from the fact that your laptop was out of order, that you had no idea how to use ink properly, and—

“Have you realised that you regularly zone out?”

“I suppose? But if you wouldn’t mind, I really need to finish...” you trailed off, gesturing to the papers in front of you.

However, at his inquisitive gaze, you decided to explain that these were essays that could very well decide how you’d pass university, and, upon further inquiry, elaborated how a modern student’s life looked like

He never interrupted you unnecessarily, only to ask questions when a concept was too modern for him to comprehend

Your cursed assignments certainly made your life in the past harder to enjoy, but it also brought you and the emperor closer than ever

Unable to access the internet—or visit the college library—you had no proper sources for you references (considering that Comte’s library had no modern content, naturally)

You also didn’t want to bother Sebastian, especially since him and Comte had shown so much understanding for your peril that they practically forbid you from helping him out around the mansion

Their reasoning didn’t make you feel less bad though

Hence, you only had one option left that could complete your last essay

Which oh-so conveniently encompasses the Napoleonic Wars, something you truly did not want to burden him with

“Napoleon? Remember those essays that I have to finish for my university courses?”

“Of course.”

You were twiddling your thumbs, contemplating whether your grades are worth revisiting unpleasant memories, aka the taboo of the mansion

Abruptly, he grabbed your cheeks with just enough force to turn you away from looking at your feet, but not enough to inflict pain. “If there is anything I can help you with, I’d never shy away from it.”

Begrudgingly, you inquired him about his reign with as little focus on the gruesome details as possible your professor be damned

And holy shit, he’s amazing at writing? And Not just cringey love letters? Panty Sniffer Napoleon brrrrr

As you grew closer, he’s spoil you with vitamin-rich snacks (going as far as asking Arthur and Sebastian for medical advice)

He enjoys carving cute shapes out of fruits and eggs because he knows that their and his adorable presence will prompt the perfect amount of distraction to allow a small moment of rest

Says that it’s his duty as your guard and boyfriend to take care of your overworking habits

Expect frequent complaints from your beau, ranging from “how could they assign so many essays? Aren’t students just humans, too?” to “‘Reasons Why Edison Is Better Than Newton’? Do they even know what they’re talking about? Tch!”

Theodorus Van Gogh

You gleefully indulged in his charades for the first few days. They were a welcome distraction from your college work, after all

But the procrastination was accompanied by guilt, your anxiety building up every second you spent helping Sebastian with the chores, and gallivanting around town with Theo

A week passed before your sense of responsibility finally kicked in. So when Sebas came to wake you up just as the sun peaked past the horizon, you were already scribbling away on some sheets you’d found in your drawers

“Ah, good morning, Sebastian-san.”

“Good morning... what are you writing, if I may ask?”

“Just some essays for my college courses...” you said, glancing dejectedly at your notes.

Now that you didn’t have access to the internet, and your laptop’s battery was all used up, it made your work all the more tedious, but you had to set your teeth and do this.

“Give me 10 minutes, and I’ll join you in the kitchen.”

He had wanted to argue, but you didn’t let him. And when he saw you leaving the house with Theo later in the afternoon, he could only shake his head.

You felt like you owed the art dealer, especially since you blurted out his secret the literal next moment, so you committed to helping him while also keeping up with your work

Although, him calling you dog wasn’t nice either—even though, according to Sebas’ explanation, Hondje wasn’t exactly the equivalent to mutt

That cycle continued for days. Helping out around the mansion, getting pulled around by Theo, and writing your essays deep into the night

Not to mention all the worries that pressured your shoulders further and further into the ground

You were missing so many group project deadlines, disappointing people that relied on you... it was safe to say that sleep did not come easy, if barely

Just before you arrived at your room after a late night art exhibit did your body decide to fail you, tripping over nothing multiple times.

It prompted Theo to call you out before you could even think of rushing past the door, steadying you with a hand more gentle than you had ever experienced it to be.

“Sebas informed me that you’ve been working yourself to death.”

You silently cursed the butler. “I haven’t—“

“Give me your laptop.”

Perplexion ran across your mien, wondering how he could possibly have remembered such a modern detail from your countless rambles. “It’s batt— it doesn’t work right now, so it’s not like it would stop me from working.”

Arguing with the devil was a mistake.

He snaked his arms around you, holding the door handle in place with one hand while the other still kept you upright. “I don’t care whether you work or not, I’m not your mother. And regardless of its abilities, hand it over, knabbletje.”

What other choice did you have but to comply?

He ordered—yes, ordered—you to go to bed right that instant

If you hesistanly ask him to do the same (we all know what a hard worker he is), he’ll just press a guileless kiss to your forehand, telling you not to worry about him

The next morning, you were already worrying for your baby’s safety within the sadist’s hands when the devil invited himself into your room

“Ever heard of knocking?”

“Morning to you, too, Hondje.” He sent you an overly handsome smirk, handing you the laptop tucked underneath his arms. “You won’t be able to use that spider web Sebas told me about, but writing should work.”

You stared at Theo in disbelief, all the while internally laughing at him misinterpreting the World Wide Web. Deciding to trust in him, you clicked the power button. And sure enough, it sprang to life. “What... how in the world did you...”

Leo overheard you and Sebas talking about solar energy sometime… hush, just run with it

He fell into the seat next to you, propping his chin upon his fist. “I didn’t do anything. Just asked Sebas whether there was a way for you to use this. Leonardo took notice and tinkered around with it. Don’t ask—ah!”

You threw your arms around his shoulders, pressing your face into the crook of his neck. “Thank you for taking care of me, Theo.”

Would you have lifted your face, then you’d have caught a glimpse of the vermillion shading his cheeks. “I didn’t do it to help you. I simply can’t risk having you become a liability at work. That’s all.”

Anyway, tsundere tendencies aside, you know what another big factor of dating Theo is?

King if you’re not allergic, understandably, if so, he’ll change his clothes before even thinking of visiting you

On days that you decide to be especially stubborn, he pulls you outside, all the whilst whistling for the jolly golden retriever

And as soon as he comes running, your mind goes brrrrr cute dog

Although, he’ll try his best not to distract you from work. He knows from personal experience that it’s a much bigger annoyance than help

Thus, he’ll certainly use his connections and amiable rip Shakes relationships with the residents to help you out with the research process

Also, with his superior memory, he knows what generally makes you happy and relaxed, so he’ll be his usual observant self to decipher just what would help you perfectly relax/finish your work

Hardworking boi, please love him

Dazai Osamu

Dazai is the type of person that doesn’t mind upsetting people and risking someone’s disdain if it supports that person in the long run

And he’s able to read people like books, so it shouldn’t be surprising that he knows you’re overwhelmed before you even realize it

You’ve been going to sleep too late and waking up too early? He’ll gently force you (if you’re 100% against it, he won’t do it ofc) to sleep beside him, making sure that you won’t rise with the sun for once

You’ve been exposing your wrist to heavy sprain? He’ll teach you some handy-dandy 5 Min Crafts techniques that are guaranteed to send your hands on a vacation

You've been suffering from writer’s block? Time to go on a lovely stroll through nature with your boo

Your shoulders and neck are hurting beyond sanity? He swears by hot springs, so the thermae is his go-to for when you need to relive some muscle kinks

He never fails to procure the perfect amount of bubbles and temperature. And depending on how comfortable you are with it, he’ll offer to wash your hair.

And since dude got Disney princess hands, you most probably fall asleep, but our man is there to hold you above the water

His bare thighs are an added bonus, sending your mind into spirals faaaar away from college work

After you’re done bathing, he’ll ask you whether you’d like him to braid your hair (if it’s long enough), and his Disney princess hands will not disappoint

In the beginning, it was incredibly vexing to have a security cam in the form of a handsome man always on the qui vive

But at some point, you started embracing Dazai’s overwhelmingly passive—you knew exactly what he was doing whenever he’d do something random—protectiveness

Especially since it didn’t only help you complete your work; on the contrary, you were always excited to spend time with the Japanese writer

But that didn’t curb your confusion at the whole debacle. Why was he this focused on your well-being?

So, you decided to confront him

“Dazai?” Once again, you were relaxing in his arms, his fingers threading through your hair lulling you into a dreamlike state.

He ticked his head to the side, pulling your entwined hands closer towards his heart. The sun streamed into the run at just the right angle, yet the golden light was not as bright as his vivid citrine orbs.

You sighed, unable to look at his stupid handsome face for too long. ”Why is it that you insist on taking care of me?”

“Someone has to, Toshiko-san.”

You’d have blurted out your feelings if it wasn’t for the sudden embrace you found yourself in. As guileless as it appeared, you knew he was trying to stop you from acting on your thoughts.

Deciding that you didn’t want to pressure him further (after all, you knew that he had a hellish first life), you accepted the unclarity of his feelings—even though his actions spoke loud enough for you to understand.

It was that day that you decided to repay him for all he’s done for you

And you wouldn’t let him yeet himself through a window in an attempt to evade the love sent his way this time

Even if it took decades, you wanted him to feel just as safe and loved as you did in his company

You were glad to have such a caring man by your side who helps you with managing you self care

You could only hope that he’d allow himself to be treated the same way

Please just take our love, boo. We love you

Jean d’Arc

Well fuck, how could he possibly help someone who’s stressed when he himself is a 24/7 McDonalds that only sells Chicken McStress?

Anywho, I feel like he’d be the complete opposite of Dazai when confronted with a stressed MC

He’d care just as much, of course, but he thinks that it would be better to give her space, since he himself understands the desire for solitude well

So yeah, I can see him not going out of his way to check up on you if you weren’t super duper close friends/lovers IF it wasn’t for his friend Napoleon

After all, it was him who gave your boyfriend a lil talk, convincing him that, perhaps even if someone needs space, they probably still need someone to look after them

Living with Jean is basically Ted Talks everyday

Anyway, he embarked on his journey to hopefully help you and and to relieve some stress that was wearing you down (according to the statement of several residents)

And, finding himself halting abruptly, our pessimistic little bean realised that he’s got zero idea what did help you attain bliss

So he opted for the next best option—things he knew that made his friends relax

Plan A

Hearing a few oddly reluctant raps on your door, you went to open it. As soon as you did, the beautiful man who’d captured your heart entered your vision, your eyes finding his amethyst ones immediately.

You two stayed like that for a moments, only breaking eye contact when he sighed and simultaneously thrusted a mug into your hand, already in the process striding back to his own room.

“Uhm… Jean? I’m a bit busy right now, but would you like to come in?”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Don’t you find it inappropriate for a man to enter your room, mademoiselle?”

“Jean,” you giggled at his archaic mindset, gently rubbing your thumb between his brows to even out the crease. “We’ve had sex before, you know. Of course you ca—“

Wrong thing to say. He stormed past you, vermillion cheeks practically leaving a trail.

Chuckling to yourself, you turned to the mug’s contents. “Hm? Hot chocolate?”

Plan B:

“If this doesn’t harbor your discomfort…” Your boyfriend reluctantly stood in your room’s corner, standing straighter than a rod.

Frankly, your essays have kept you entirely too busy, and you longed for the warmth of the French man’s feather-like embrace.

“On the contrary, I enjoy your presence.” And you went right back to scribbling away.

Jean frowned. “Haven’t you been writing stories since this morning?”

“They’re not stories… and, yeah? I believe so.”

Stepping towards your seated form, he extended his hand; you grabbed it without thinking twice. “Is everything alrig—whoa!”

With the ease of a seasoned soldier, he picked you up before haphazardly tugging you into bed with bewilderment maring your features. “You should sleep.”

“—what?”

He stared at you blankly, as if expecting you to fall into the land of dreams right that instant.

“Did something prompt,” you slipped your arms out from underneath the duvets, gesturing wildly, “this?”

It was hard to be upset with Jean, his clueless but genuine persona the reason why you fell for him, yet you couldn’t disguise the irritation coursing through your veins—you had work to return to, after all.

“I think you need to rest, mademoiselle.”

Your blinking made him avert his eyes, explaining quietly, “I am uncertain what supports your release of tension, so I thought that perhaps sleeping could help since it certainly does show affect with Napoleon.”

“Ah, and you made me hot chocolate since that’s what calms Mozart.”

After internally simping for his soft and wholesome dumbass energy, you pulled him to bed beside you, claiming that it would help you relax (but only after telling him that it was okay for him to ask for your preferences)

And falling asleep to the heartbeat underneath his broad chest is definitely a 5-star-resort vacation

He’d eventually ask his relationship advisor Napoleon whether it is okay to have you help them out with his reading/writing lessons (you

You, alongside Napoleon, steadily agreed, despite knowing that it was a ploy to keep you away from overworking

Please also love this boy, thanks

Tag List of the most wonderful sweethearts (just message me if you’d like to be added <3): @juminly @kisara-16 @sweetlittlemouse @thesirenwashere @nad-zeta @delicateikemenmemes

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Eros (Cupid) Harry

Harry is Eros and he is absolutely smitten with a human.

It is not often that the gods mingle around humans. As people have stopped believing, the gods have stopped showing up. The occasional tryst may occur between one of the big twelve olympians and a human, but again, it’s rare. Because of this disbelief, the rules surrounding the interference in human lives have become mere guidelines instead of something to get killed over. So, for a deity like Harry, also known as Eros, his job gets to be a bit more… hands on. It’s not that he doesn’t love being in Olympus, the perfection and beauty of it really please him, but something about watching people fall in love in such a horrid and cursed place like Earth, brings him the most pleasure.

He doesn’t want to say that he has the most important job, but in his mind he has the most important job, without love the world would be in even more shambles than it is. So he doesn’t mind it one bit that he’s leant against a tree, watching a young couple leaning in to kiss through his camera. He’d been following the two for a few months and he believed it was time for Marc to say the ‘L’-word to Greg. Greg tended to be a bit more of a skeptic. Harry really liked Marc, he was a nice guy who deserved to be happy, so shooting Greg with his arrow would be the least he could do for the guy, guaranteeing a positive response to his impending confession.

Here’s the trick though, the magic arrows he shoots need to penetrate the person when they are looking at whatever it is Eros wants them to fall in love with. So his hearing and eyesight are sharp and he is ready to release as the words leave Marc’s mouth. Currently, to the human eyes it appears as if he’s taking a picture (as the times changed so did his tactics) his finger is right on the button, about to press down, smiling as he hears Marc utter the magic words and Greg’s eyes widen with surprise and suddenly Harry’s knocked to the ground. His finger has pressed down on the button, but he’s taken a shot into the sky. Suddenly, he hears Marc calling desperately after Greg to come back. But Harry can’t sit up, there’s a weight over him and suddenly his cheek is wet and he squints up to see a huge dog panting in his face.

“Oh my god, I am so, so sorry!” He hears and looks up to see the most beautiful girl looming over him. She’s shooing the dog and then extending her hands to help him up. She’s perfect, dare he say that she’s more beautiful than Aphrodite (he’ll keep that bit to himself because his mom is a very jealous goddess). He just cannot pull his eyes from her, his heart is thumping and he feels warmth and peace and giddiness, and her hands are so soft. He’s so entranced that he’s not even upset about Marc and Greg, he can get them another time. “Are you alright?” she asks, releasing his hands, letting him dust off his pants.

“Yeah, I’m alright.” He smiles softly as he looks into her eyes once more. She stands shorter than him, but she still looks fully concerned and then looks down to the dog, it’s a great dane, he’s massive, nearly to her waist and she bends down to grab his leash.

“That’s good to hear, I am terribly sorry. You see, It’s Ares’ first walk in a while and he just got very excited.” Harry burst into laughter, wait ’til Louis heard people were naming big, clumsy dogs after him! His boisterous laugh caused the girl to giggle along with him, she was a bit confused as to why he was laughing, but his laugh was so contagious and he was beautiful. More beautiful than any other person she’d ever seen in her life.  He extends his hand out towards the dog, letting him sniff him before he pets between his ears, and his nails dig into his short fur a bit to scratch at his head.

“He’s a very cute dog.” Harry says sweetly and she smiles.

“Thanks, I’m his walker. I usually bring him here a few times a week, but it’s been a few months. He just got his cast taken off. The big klutz tumbled down the stairs, hit a table and knocked the prized bowling ball trophy onto it. He really is very unlucky, but he’s my favorite customer.” She informed and Harry chuckled. He needed to know more, he’d seen one beautiful human before and he could honestly say that this beautiful, bubbly human had her beat by a long shot.

“Well, I got his name, but I don’t have yours.” Harry said smoothly and her eyes widened like saucers.

“I’m terribly rude, sorry! I’m Y/N, it’s very nice to meet you…” she extends her hand again.

“Harry.” He finishes for her and he grins at her, shaking it gently, “it appears I’m just as rude.” He mumbles and she smiles again. He swears that her smile is so bright, it puts Helios and Celine to shame.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you around, do you go here?” She asked, they were in a university’s botanical garden.

“Yeah, I do.” He lied quickly, “I’m new, just transferred. Do you go here?” She nodded. “Nice, well maybe we’ll see each other around?” He asked and she smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, maybe!” She said, unable to tear away from his eyes. They were such a pretty green, almost like an entire forest lived in them, she’d never seen that before. “Well, again I am really sorry for Ares’ behavior, I hope we didn’t ruin your camera.” She said looking down and he almost forgot, his eyes widening as he bent down to pick it up, inspecting it.

“No damage.” He assured her and she looked relieved.

“I should be going, it was very nice to meet you, Harry.” She smiled and he smiled back.

“You as well, Y/N. Bye Ares.” He chuckled, patting the dog’s head one last time before they walked off.

Harry wanted to follow her, invisibly of course, but he had to settle things with Marc and Greg, so he walked further into the garden and became invisible. His wings extended broadly and with a little kick off he was in the air, soaring to Greg’s house. Sure enough, Greg was pacing around, he could see him through the balcony, Harry knows why he has commitment issues… humans are so fragile when it comes to love, but that’s what happens when it’s not true love.

One prick from his arrow and people are helplessly and foolishly in love, but some of the other gods mess with his work. If the human he has struck commits a sin against the person he is in love with, the magic dies. Again, humans are fragile, they can’t resist temptations, it is awful, but seeing them in love, even for just a little makes it all worth it.

Harry is waiting for the perfect moment, he needs to pick up a picture of Marc or something… so he waits for nearly an hour. Greg picks up the photo of him and Marc in Spain, that’s where they fell in lust. The first step, attraction, desire, whatever you want to call it has to come naturally, he can help a smidge, but he works most at step two. Step two is love, if he thinks they’re a good fit, Harry will strike one person, usually the most hurt or insecure one, so that they don’t back away from the opportunity. After he strikes, it is up to the pair to take their love further or keep it stagnant. Greg smiles at the picture of Marc, perfect! Harry, who has an actual bow this time, takes his arrow and sets it in place, pulling back and releasing it, smiling in satisfaction as it pierces Greg’s chest and then fades to nothing. The effects are instantaneous, he grabs his wallet, slips on his shoes and bursts out of his apartment. Harry will help him, he flutters down to ground level and influences a cab driver to pull over right in front of his building. Just then, Greg runs out the door, looking both ways and sees the cab, he gets in and they take off. Harry follows along, hovering above the vehicle, protecting it, clearing a path until they get to Marc’s house. Greg is pounding at his door and Marc is all teary-eyed when he opens up, but Harry watches as Greg leans in and kisses him hard, stunning Marc, but then he pulls away and whispers that he loves him too, that he loves him so, so much and he’s done his job.

****

Y/N gets home and for some reason, she cannot shake Harry from her mind. He was really something; he was beautiful and so nice. She’s a fine arts major, specializing in sketching and painting and her mind is just image after image of him. She barely says hello to her housemates, Barbie and Oliver, and hurries into her bedroom, scrambling to find a blank piece of paper and begins sketching quickly. Her brows furrow as she tries to recall the little details of his face, but those eyes, those are the first things she can put down. She’d been in her room for about twenty minutes when her door creaks open.

“Are you gonna eat?” Oliver asks, walking over to where she’s hunched over her desk, she hasn’t even bothered to sit down, she was finishing up the details of his lips.

“Not now. I’m busy, Oli.” Y/N grumbles, her hand moving to work on the last bit, defining his jawline. Oli looks down at her work and asks,

“Who’s that?” watching her finish up, inspecting the wispy sketch.

“Some guy Ares knocked over at the park.” She said taking it from the surface of the desk and pinning it at her board, her hands on her hips. “Looks familiar, no?” She asks and Oliver hummed, they both look it over for a while and then Oliver gasped, “What?” Y/N said, jumping slightly.

“I know who he looks like!” Oli said, hurrying out of the room leaving Y/N confused, ready to follow him, but then she heard his steps coming back down the hall and then into her room with a textbook in his hands, paging through it.

“Remember last semester we took that British Art class and there was a shit ton of portrait painters… Ah! Here he is, Hamilton… look. He painted this painting of cupid and psyche.” He said handing her the book and she squinted at the smaller painting and her eyes widened.

“It does resemble him…” she said glancing up to the sketch she had pinned up.

“Your guy looks like the painting of Cupid. There’s another that comes to mind…” Oli said pulling out his phone, typing away at it before showing her another painting, this time by Bouguereau, she put down the book and took his phone, zooming in, “the neck, the jawline, the curls… classic cupid.” Oli chuckled and she smiled.

“Yeah, he’s a full on god. He looked ethereal in person. Do you think the greek gods were real?” She asked, studying the painting’s features and he shook his head.

“It’s called Greek mythology, as in myth, Y/N. Just stories.” He argued.

“Of course they were real!” Barbie input as she joined in inspecting the sketch and then painting. “Twinsies. You’ve found cupid re-incarnated.” She smiled excitedly.

“Classic impressionism, both paintings still inspired by realism, though Bouguereau is more progressive, look at the bright colored veil around psyche.” Y/N mumbles, “It’s a sign I should pursue a realism approach to my senior project.” She hummed happily and Barbie chuckled.

“Please, do it! But only as long as that guy is going to be your model.” She said pointing to the sketch. “You should re-create the cupid-psyche myth!” Barbie cheered and Y/N nodded excitedly.

“Yes, perfect! Now leave me alone, I have to write up a proposal!”

*****

Harry finally was home, the sun was setting over the beautiful Olympian structures, his feet landing on solid gold streets as he made his way to Zeus’ palace. There was a feast tonight for something and he could hear music and chatter from the entrance. Once inside he caught sight of his usual friends, Niall and Louis, who are Dionysus and Ares.

“Hey guys, how’s it going.” Harry said smiling and Niall groaned.

“What’s the point of coming to a party if you can’t fucking drink.” He mumbled in irritation and Harry chuckled.

“Where’s Liam?” Harry asked looking around.

“Had to pay Hades a visit, he should be back soon.” Louis said before taking a drink, smirking in Niall’s face.

“Today I met another Ares.” Harry said to Louis and his eyes widened in surprise.

“Did you now? How rare!”

“Yeah, apparently people are naming their giant, clumsy dogs after you!” He informed and he and Niall burst into laughter. Louis was so easily angered, it was quite amusing, “On the bright side he was a cute dog, with the most beautiful companion, some girl, prettiest thing I’d ever seen!”

“Don’t let your mother hear that, she’ll be dead before she even knows what’s coming.” Harry rolled his eyes.

“that is wise advice…” he grumbled.

“Yeah, it’s best to keep that bit to yourself.” Niall advised.

His mind was a mess just thinking of her, he needed to find her and he would go to the gardens every single day until he ran into her; he just needed to see her again.  

****

Y/N and Ares were walking through the botanical gardens again, her eyes were peeled for Harry, the cupid doppelgänger. Ares was a bit more relaxed now, seeing as he was back on schedule and not deprived of the outside world; Wednesdays were his favorite because he had dog friends who played in the field on those days and Y/N just sat at a bench, watching, making sure he was playing nice. But then she saw him, walking down the path, camera slung over his neck, looking left to right, probably seeking inspiration. She hurried towards him, not bothering to grab her purse or her sandals that she had slipped off while she waited.

“Harry!” She called out and he looked up, smiling wide as he saw her coming up to him.

“Hi, Y/N.” He beamed, he was more than excited to see her. She was the reason he came.

“Can we talk? I know that you don’t know me at all, but I wanted to ask you something?” She asked and he nodded, following her back to her bench, he took a seat beside her and looked into her eyes, waiting for her to speak. “So, I’m a fine arts major and this is my last semester and we all do senior projects, right? Well, I kind of want to do something crazy for mine.” She said, then paused for a moment, “If you’re willing, could you help me with it?” She asked and he grinned.

“Depends what I need to do.” He countered and she giggled.

“Right well…you’ve heard of Eros right? Or Cupid? Whatever you want to call him!” She said and his heart started pounding, had he been found out? But how? After one run in? He nodded none the less, to see where she was going with this. “Well, my friend fed me this crazy idea that you look like the depictions of him. I paint realism, which many people don’t do anymore and I wanted to sort of bring back the style with a modern twist and I was thinking of doing panels based off of the Eros & Psyche myth, are you familiar with it?” She asked and he nodded dumbly almost.

Was he familiar with it? He lived it, the myth had been altered, given a happy ending because again, humans are fragile and need hope. Unfortunately, Psyche never woke from her slumber, no matter how much he had tried to wake her. It was the one thing that turned him from a reckless force into the sagacious and responsible being he is now. He had been in love once and it broke him completely, he did his best to prick those who seemed stronger or who deserved love. It had been decades since he had thought of Psyche, but seeing Y/N now, the softness of her eyes and the easy beauty of her face, he saw slight traces of his first ever love.

“Harry…” Y/N hummed, smiling a bit as he seemed to come out of his thoughts.

“Sorry, was just daydreaming.” He said and she smiled.

“No worries, well either way I uh- since you look so much like the depictions would you be interested in being my model?” She asked hopefully, brows furrowed as she waited for a response. “I know you don’t know me well and you won’t even get paid, so you can say no! But you’re just so perfect for it.” She explained and he smiled.

“I’ll do it.” He stated and her eyes went as wide as saucers.

“You will?!” She asked, shocked and he nodded, he loved seeing her smile.

“I will. When do we start?”

****

Naturally, after that day in the park with Harry, Y/N went home and told Barb and Oli that Harry was her model. She was more than excited about Harry agreeing to be her model, she just used one of her previous models as Psyche. Just as planned, the following Wednesday evening Harry and Chloe, her two models were stripping down to their undies and posing for the first panel. Y/N had sketched out what she wanted it to look like, so she was just making some adjustments to their positions.

“Your tattoos are cool.” She said to Harry quietly, adjusting his arm a bit and he grinned like a lovestruck schoolgirl.

“They’re not a problem are they?” He inquired and she shook her head.

“S’perfect actually, I’m doing it with a modern twist.” She said and then arranged the veil Chloe was wrapped in, she just went for a white one, Psyche represents the soul, untainted and perfect. Eros is the passion, reckless and spontaneous. After 3 hours and a few ten minute breaks Y/N had the color palette and general shape down. She snapped a quick picture of her two models in pose and then came off of the step ladder and took a few steps back to see the whole picture, it was almost to scale, it was big. “Thank you so much for your time, guys. I really appreciate it! Next session we’ll work on detailing the painting.” She said and the two stretched a bit. Harry was helping Chloe down, whose leg had gone numb and as he was helping Chloe slip on her clothes he started sensing massive amounts of attraction, so he glanced around the room until he saw a young man, standing alongside Y/N, talking to her a bit about her painting, so he tuned in his hearing.

“This is going to be incredible.” The man said and Y/N smiled.

“Thanks, I’m so excited! Choe and Harry work well together, they look really nice together, they both have godlike beauty.” She said and that made Harry smile, but the man interjected.

“Um, so do you…”

“Oh my god, Oli… let’s not, okay?” She said flustered and he grinned.

“Sorry, sorry… anyway, your project is going to put the rest of our class’ to shame. You’re definitely going to get the commission call.” He said and she sighed.

“I hope so, lord knows I need it.”

Harry had finished helping Chloe and tuned out of the conversation that wasn’t his. He now knew that Oli really, really likes Y/N.  He also knows that Y/N really doesn’t like him in the same way, and that there is an endgame to this project. Being commissioned to make art is basically getting paid to paint or draw, or whatever… he wanted Y/N to win, so he was going to call a few favors in with his friends Athena and Apollo when he got home, they owed him. Chloe had said goodbye and he lingered in the studio area, the room was big, but there were three different styles at three different desks and he knew which one belonged to Y/N without even asking.

“I’m guessing this is your station?” He said and she turned quickly, seeing him looking at the sketches and tiny paintings sprawled out. She walked over to him, she was so close he could feel her warmth and smell her perfume, it was sending his heart into a frenzy.

“Yep.” She hummed.

“Raphael fan, eh?” He smiled, picking up a little mock-up of the famous angels and waving it with two fingers.

“Yeah actually, I really like his work. He’s one of the reasons I’m so into realism.” She explained and he hummed.

“He was gay, you know?” Harry muttered as he inspected more of her art.

“It is a speculation.” She argued, “I mean, I believe it, but some cannot come to terms with it.” he chuckled.

“Trust me, he was.” Harry said glancing to her and she giggled.

“How can you be so sure? It’s not like you knew him.” She said and his eyes widened for a bit, he definitely knew him and he was saying too much.

“Uhhh, I’m cupid… I know everything about everyone’s love life.” He said honestly, but smugly because she didn’t necessarily know that and she rolled her eyes playfully.

“Alright then, so what can you tell me about mine?” She challenged, her arms folding over each other and raising a smug eyebrow at him and he grinned.

“I can tell you that your boyfriend doesn’t appreciate me flirting with you.” He said softly and she looked over to the entrance of the room and Oliver walked off quickly.

“Oli is not my boyfriend.” She stated firmly and Harry chuckled.

“Does he know that?”

“He does, but uh… he’s persistent. Wait, did you say you were flirting with me?” She asked smiling, her cheeks heating with a blush.

“I did find out if you were single, no?” He said smugly and she bit her lip, nodding.

“Alright…” she hummed, suppressing a smirk.

“Do you want to go get a coffee sometime?” She looked pensive, “I am posing as cupid for at least three more months…” he sang quietly and she giggled.

“I would love to. Also, don’t really like the sound of cupid… Eros is nicer.” She said quietly and he smiled, he liked that name better too.

After Harry left, Y/N and Barbie were just squealing about how beautiful Harry was and how he had asked her for coffee. Oliver was rolling his eyes the whole time at the “Cupid-wannabe” as he liked to call Harry.

*****

“Have you been here?” He asked Y/N as they walked up to a little shop.

“I have not… didn’t even know it was here.”

“Well, they have the best coffee you will ever taste, come on.” He said, opening the door for her and letting her in.

He recommended something for her to try and paid for both of them and then led her to a booth, sliding in across from her.

“How’s the background of the first panel going?” He asked.

“I finished early this morning,” she disclosed, “Just need you and Chloe to come back in and do the finishing touches and panel one will be complete!” She said excitedly.

“You are extremely talented, you know? Probably one of the best artists I’ve ever known.” He said sweetly, reaching for her hand and she smiled as he held it in his larger one.

“Because you know so many of them?” She asked and he chuckled.

“More than you can imagine.” He teased and she rolled her eyes playfully. They were interrupted by a waiter who placed their drinks before them and mumbled a quick and polite ‘enjoy’ before slipping away just as quickly as he’d come. His hand moved off of hers and she instantly missed the contact, he was a magnet. After their first session they exchanged numbers and they have not stopped texting each other. Harry got a cell phone just for that, he didn’t get close to many humans and he really didn’t need a cellphone, but he wanted to keep talking to her.

“I love coffee, I can’t believe I had gone ages without it existing. At the first try it became my favorite flavor.” Harry shared enthusiastically after taking a sip from his steaming mug. Y/N caught that whole ‘ages without it existing’ thing, it seemed odd to her, but Harry was just a curious person and expressed himself oddly at times.

“I love it, too.” She smiled, tucking the words away to mull over at another time.

“So, what made you want to become an artist?” He asked and while she explained about her dad drawing all the time he listened to how her heart rate picked up when she’d look into his eyes and how the sense of attraction he could pick up so easily seemed to be growing the longer they were together. Her lips looked inviting and smooth, he wanted to kiss her and tell her that she was more beautiful than the stars in the sky and that he also, felt an overwhelming need to be near her. “So why did you agree to be my model?” She asked curiously, “I could’ve been a serial killer or something crazy.” She said and he chuckled, shaking his head at her wild mind.

“Because I wanted to get to know you better.” He admitted.

“Well, I hope you’re getting what you hoped for.” She replied, looking down at her cup and he smiled.

“I definitely am.” He said smiling timidly.

“I  also want to get to know you better.” She said, making his tummy flutter.

“What do you want to know?” He asked and she pursed her lips pensively.

“What’s your biggest fear?” She asked and he bit his lip.

“Falling in love.” He said honestly and she looked shocked.

“Why?” She asked immediately and then shook her head, “Sorry, you don’t need to answer that question.” She interjected and he shook his head.

“It’s because the first time it happened it ended badly and it feels like I hardly healed from it and it has been ages, but if I think about it for a second too long it feels really real.” He whispered and she frowned.

“I’m sorry, Har. Can I call you that?” She asked and he nodded.

“Y’can call me whatever you want, love.” She smiled sweetly at the pet name.

“Well, love is scary but I’d say it’s worth the risk, don’t you think? All the best things in life are.” She pointed out and he smiled at her optimism. Somehow, her fragile human heart had accepted its condition, life hurts, it’s tough, but there is beauty in everything. She had a true artist’s soul and he loved it.

“You’re right.” He responded quietly, “It’s worth the risk.”

Quite honestly, Harry had not felt this way about anyone in a hundreds of years. Psyche was also human, maybe he had a soft spot for humans? Who knows, but he knew that he could spend eternity with her and never get tired of her face. After coffee they went to a bookstore and then decided to catch a film. And as they sat there quietly, basically alone in the theater he reached over his arm rest and rested his hand over hers. She looked up at him so quickly, he just smiled tenderly, his skin prickling with chills as her fingers parted a bit, allowing him to slot his own fingers in the gaps. They stayed that way until the movie ended and made the walk to her house in the same manner and when he was saying goodbye the sun was setting and the rays were hitting her perfectly, thanks Helios.

“I really want to kiss you.” She confessed, her eyes seeking his for something and he grinned.

“You can.” He said and she shook her head, looking down to her feet. “Why not?” He asked, tilting her head up, so that their eyes could meet once more.

“I don’t kiss on first dates. Ever. Never have.” She explained and he nodded.

“Alright, well I always do, so…” he said quietly and leaned in, her breathing halted for a moment, but he pressed his lips to her cheek. Her skin was warm and soft, he could only imagine what her lips were like. It seemed like his kiss was searing her skin even when he pulled back, her hand flying up to the little patch of skin, holding her hand over it as her face broke into a blush. “A compromise, yeah?” He offered and she grinned.

“A compromise.” She repeated.

“I’ll text you, yeah?” He asked and she nodded, she felt like she was walking on clouds. “Have a goodnight.”

“You too.” She called after him and soon he was gone and she was pressed against the door, reeling by how much she already liked him.

“We need to talk.” Oli said seriously and she snapped out of her daze.

“Ugh, what is it, Oli?” She asked, toeing her sneakers off.

“It’s about Harry. If that’s even his name!” He said following after her as she headed further into the home, rolling her eyes as she dropped onto her bed waiting for him to say what he needed to say. “Harry Styles doesn’t even exist! He’s not listed, he isn’t a student here… I checked everything!”

“Maybe your hacker friends misspelled his name.” She said and he shook his head.

“No, we tried multiple variations and pseudonyms. He isn’t real.”

“Then who the fuck is he?” She asked sitting up and his eyebrows rose.

“Exactly! Who the hell are you spending time with and letting into our home? What if he’s a criminal?”

“What if he’s in WITSEC and your paranoia tips the real bad people off?” She asked and he rolled his eyes.

“I doubt that’s what this is… he has a British accent, maybe he’s in the mafia or a crime ring!” He speculated and she didn’t want to admit that he was putting doubts in her mind, but he totally was. She trusted him though, something about the way he was made her feel at ease, she didn’t feel afraid or suspicious.

“You need to drop this, Oli. I know that you like me, but this is crazy!” She said and he groaned.

“Fine, but if something bad happens I told you! I warned you.” He seethed and stormed out of the room, slamming the door hard. Y/N was ready for tomorrow, she had two early classes and then got to spend the afternoon with Ares, he seemed to like Harry as much as her at least.

****

Ares had been really hyper today, he was extremely alert and she was having a hard time controlling him as they walked through the gardens. She was only distracted for a moment, she was about to step on her shoe lace when he took off like a bullet. She groaned as she finished tying the knot and running after him, calling out his name as he tore into a section of thick trees.

“Ares!” Y/N called from outside, “fuck me…” she grumbled, they weren’t allowed to go behind the barriers. “Ares!” She tried once more and when he didn’t come out she glanced left to right, no security was in sight so she slipped past the display plaque and the barrier and into the thick trees. It was cold in the shade and as she walked deeper into the wooded area she could hear him barking.

“Ares!” She called, walking further in the direction of his barks. Finally she could see his rear and she sighed in relief. He seemed to be barking up at something, he was on the edge of a clearing. From above the garden made some sort of intricate sun, there were helicopter tours from the city just to see it. But when she arrived beside Ares she glanced up to see some sort of glowing spot in the middle of the air and her eyes widened in fear and curiosity, it started getting larger and larger so she picked up Ares’ leash and tugged on it to get him out, but he was planted firmly and she was too curious to leave. If she died, she died. Suddenly a foot was seen and that turned into a leg and she was about to faint when she saw the body draped in a white toga, a bow in hand and a quiver full of arrows in the other, a large pair of white wings were flapping moderately to ease the being’s landing. When it landed, it turned around at the sound of Ares’ barks and she really fainted when she saw a very familiar, handsome, curly-haired Harry.

“Y/N…” she heard at a distance. “Hey, come on, open those pretty eyes, love.” It was Harry… Harry who she saw coming out of a glowing hole with wings! She sat up all of a sudden making him jump in fear. “Y/N! Thought I lost you there for a moment!” He said excitedly and she was too weak to stand so she rubbed her eyes.

“You’re- you- what the fuck is going on?!” She said loudly and he frowned a bit.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t tell you.” He said quickly and she shook her head.

“I’m going fucking crazy.” She said slapping her own face a bit and he pulled her hand away.

“Stop that, you’re not crazy I’m just-”

“A fucking angel?” She interrupted and his lips twitched up in a half-smile.

“No, actually I’m Eros. Cupid…” he said and her eyes widened in disbelief.

“Do you have a pet dolphin too?” She asked and he chuckled.

“I don’t actually.”

“Jesus…” she mumbled in disbelief, finally standing with his help and pacing around, glancing from him to the ground and to the sky back and forth.

“I think you should sit.”

“I think not.” She quipped back. “Is this real? Am I on drugs? I think I need to call Oliver. Have you kidnapped me?” She asked worried and he hurried to her side.

“No, no please do not call anyone. I shouldn’t reveal myself to people!” He said anxiously and she pulled her hand away from his hold.

“How the hell…”

“If you will calm down I will explain everything.”

“Is that why you were always saying odd things like about coffee not existing?” She asked as he took her shoulders and guided her to sit on a nearby stump. Ares was following her around and planted himself beside her.

“Deities are very real, we’ve been around forever and uh… I happen to be one of them. I uh… Ares ran in to me while I was trying to get these two blokes to commit to each other and I thought you were very pretty and was determined to find you again and here we are.”

“Gods have cell phones?” She asked and he chuckled.

“I ummm, I got one because I wanted to keep talking to you.” he said timidly and her eyes widened.

“You, Eros, the god of desire or love, wanted to talk to me?” She asked and he chuckled, shrugging his shoulders.

“I thought you were cute.” He said genuinely and that was very… Harry of him to say and it broke her spell of shock for a moment.

“This is crazy.” She whispered more to herself than him. “Where does all this go when you’re not looking like that?” She asked, making a circle with her hands and smiled.

“The wings retract and I fit clothes into my quiver, I can also be invisible to the human eye.” He said, “Wanna see? Or not see.” He joked and she shook her head quickly.

“No, no, this is… quite extraordinary already.” She said and he smiled.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to lie to you, but I’m not really supposed to advertise it either.” He said and she nodded in understanding.

“What’s with the accent?” She asked.

“I learned English in Europe, it kind of stuck.” He explained and she nodded. A silence fell between them and he was worried that this might change the feelings she had started accumulating towards him.

“Was Raphael really gay?” She asked and he nodded. “You’re positive?” She asked.

“He made a move on me.” He answered honestly.

“Did you fuck my idol?!” Y/N asked shocked and he just shrugged, not really being able to suppress the little grin that made its way onto his face. “So you actually knew him?”

“Yeah, he was a very kind person.” Harry said, “We were friends, it really sucked when he died.” He said, his tone becoming a bit more soft at the memory.

“This is so fucking weird.” She whispered, planting her face in her hands.

“You’ve done a lot of cursing today.” He pointed out and she scoffed, looking to her feet again. She had ruined her sneakers coming in here looking for Ares.

“I am not sure how to process this…?” She said.

“Do you need space?” He asked and she shrugged. “We can go somewhere and-”

“Wait, if you’re Eros then you’re married? Or have a wife technically.” She said and his eyes widened.

“No, no I’m not.” He said quickly and her eyes narrowed.

“I’m painting your fucking love story!” She said loudly and he sighed.

“That is a myth, it didn’t end so happy.” He said and her eyes grew wide in realization, he had told her he was afraid of love. “Let’s go somewhere and talk, please?” He asked and she sighed.

“Will your mother kill me or turn me into a cow? Or make my hair into reptiles?” She asked quickly and he half-chuckled.

“You’re mixing up a few people.” He said amused.

“No, I know that wasn’t all her, but these are all viable possibilities of a punishment.” She said and he rolled his eyes.

She walked off with Ares to allow him to get changed  into normal clothes and soon he was by her side, and Ares followed after him as he walked past her.

“C’mon.”

****

After they dropped Ares off at his home she walked over to her car.

“Where should we go talk?” She asked as they slipped inside.

“Your place?”

“No, Oliver had his hacker friends look into you. I got in an argument with him defending you. Said that he couldn’t find record of you anywhere and all this nonsense, told him that maybe you were WITSEC so he should drop it.” Y/N explained quickly.

“WITSEC?” Harry asked and she nodded.

“In a witness protection program. Actually, I know where we can go.” She said and they took off. She was going to take him to the school studio she had rented for the semester and she was going to draw him in all his glory, it would help her wrap her mind around things.

“What’s this place?” He asked as they walked into the dark building. It was nearing midterms so the building was desolate, people were home studying. Y/N pulled out a key and let them into a small room nearly the size of her bedroom and she locked the door behind them , switching on the light and pulling the blind down over the window that was on the top half of the door.

“This is the university’s art studio, I rented a room for the semester but the panels I’m painting are so big, they don’t fit in here so I had to move home.” She said and he nodded in understanding. He sat on a stool, waiting for her to say something, but she started looking for something in the drawers of a desk in there and she paused and randomly laughed out loud.

“What is it?”

“You laughed when I told you Ares name. You know Ares… I get why you laughed now.” She giggled, wedging a thin, plastic box between her armpit, then bending to pull out a large paper pad from a crevice between the desk and the wall. “Watercolor it will be.” She said and he went to stand, “Stop, don’t move!” She said and he froze.

“Why?”

“Show me.”

“Show you what?” He asked nervously.

“The real you, wings and all.” She said and he looked around as if someone might see. “Give me your things.” She said walking over to him and taking the quiver full of arrows and his bow and setting it on the desk. “Alright, now go on. Flame on or whatever the magic words are.” He chuckled and removed his shirt and jeans, he stayed in his boxer-briefs and cracked his neck and rolled his shoulders back and suddenly his wings expanded. “Ummm, can you angle to your left a little. Just need t’see your face, do what’s comfortable with your legs and hands.” She said and he nodded, getting comfy as she pulled a water bottle from her purse, tossing the cap in the trash and just dipping a brush through the top of it and setting it down while she opened the paint palette and within a few moments she was making strokes on the paper. “Does it hurt when your wings expand?” She asked and he shook his head.

“When they grew in that was the most painful. Like your limbs, they grow as you grow, but when they started coming in I was only a week old, we grow faster… a week would be like… 4 years your time?” He said and she hummed, glancing from her paper to him and back and forth.

“So tell me what happened between you and…”

“Psyche.” He said and she nodded.

“Well, the story is pretty much how it goes, except that my mom basically said she was a cheater for getting help with the tasks and uh, the whole Persephone set up happened, it was a poison that put her into some deep slumber. I tried to convince my mother to just lift the curse, said only real love could do that. I did love her, with my whole heart, but when I tried bringing her back she just wouldn’t wake up.” He was getting quieter and quieter. “I revealed it to someone eventually, but they made it into a happy ending instead. Which is where you humans got the true love’s kiss shit… My mother said I didn’t really love her because it didn’t work, which killed me for a long time. She just hates the idea of deities with humans, which is rather hypocritical. Either way, I later found out that Psyche had been killed instantly by the poison; she was only human, she couldn’t handle the things my mother had done to her. A god or even a demigod would have been able to withstand, but uh, she was too fragile.” He finished and when he looked up Y/N wasn’t even painting anymore.

“I’m so sorry.” She said quietly, a frown over her angelic features. He could sense that her heart was heavy and aching for him. Real, honest empathy was rare in humans, but Y/N felt it.

“I am too, she was a good person. I uh- ever since then I had never felt anything close to what I felt for Psyche until I saw you, looming over me in the garden,” he smiled, “You were just so gorgeous and there was this aura of warmth and light around you that makes me feel not so shitty when you’re close by.” He said and she was nearly in front of him now.

“I feel that way too.” She said softly and he smiled, bringing her closer.

“That’s called attraction.” He said quietly as she stood between his legs. Her hand came up to his face, feeling his perfect and warm skin at her fingertips.

“Is this allowed?” She asked and he shrugged.

“Lots of them do it.”

“Do what?”

“See humans. Human relationships might be a little messy, but humans were built to care and love. No god or goddess or being in the universe can give love the way a human being can.” He said and she bit her lip.

“So I can kiss you?” She asked and he smiled.

“Of course you can.” He said, hands sliding down to her hips, her breath tickling his lips.

“I won’t melt into a puddle of cells or slime?” She asked, seriously, but exaggerating the outcome.

“No, but I might when I finally get to taste you.” He whispered and she moaned and melded their lips together. She might as well have been a mushy slime of cells on the ground because he was so beautiful and perfect. His lips were addictive, and his taste was so sweet, she moaned as his tongue rolled onto hers. Y/N pushed him off the stool and pressed him towards the desk, they kissed feverishly. As they moved carelessly his body rammed against the desk.

“Ow!” He yelped, his hand flying back to touch at his side and he felt it there, she glanced around him and saw as one of his arrows was pierced into his hip and it suddenly faded into nothing. She looked up at him, giggling. Oh, how the tables had turned. He looked into her beautiful eyes with so much adoration.

“I think I’m in love.” He whispered.

[bqstqnbruin]

Teach Me Something

I am slowly but surely making my way through the requests that I have and I am sorry that I suck at writing them, but here this is. Also, ignore the fact that this can’t actually happen how I have it set up, but I started writing the beginning and really liked it and then looked up more information about the Stampede and didn’t want to change it (don’t judge me).

Thank you, thank you, thank you to @luvsherleafs​ for reading through this and helping me figure this out, you are an absolute angel human and I appreciate you.

Here is the original request! Hope you like this!

EDIT: Read the other parts: part 2 // part 3 // part 4

__________________

“Alright, I need you guys to start cleaning up, the bell is going to ring in five minutes! Beakers in the cabinets, lab goggles away, paper towels in the garbage. Lab calculations are due at the start of tomorrow’s class, and you have your nuclear quiz when?” you yell to your students as they finish up their lab.

“Wednesday,” some of your students answer.

“Cooper and Eugenie, when is the quiz?” you say louder, trying to get two of your students to stop distracting each other.

“Wednesday,” they chorus, the rest of their classmates running around the room trying to get everything away. 

“That’s right!” you say with a smile, trying to keep your teacher face on for the last few minutes. It was the end of the day, and you had to get home and change before you went over the Stampede for the show that night. What sucked, was that instead of doing just a July week of shows, they decided it would be fun to do a preview night for some groups in March in some tent instead of outdoors like normal, overlapping with your school year. 

The bell rings, your students scrambling to get out the door. “Bye, guys, see you tomorrow,” you say as they scurry out, saying things like ‘thank you, bye Ms. Y/L/I, see you tomorrow.’ You sit down at your desk, letting out a long sigh as the sound of students in the hallway gets louder from chatter, lockers, and overall high school chaos. Going through your lesson for tomorrow, you get lost in typing out your plan that the administration wanted to see, finishing the worksheets that you needed to print, and figuring out what other prep you needed to do before leaving for the day. 

You lean back in your desk chair, debating whether or not you should send the worksheets to the printer now and make the 100 or so copies you needed, or come in and do it during your prep that you had first period tomorrow. “Hey Ms. Y/L/N, any chance you could tell me about capillary action?” you heard a familiar voice say from the doorway. 

“Considering you learn about that in Biology and I teach Chemistry, I would say no,” you laugh, getting up to go greet your boyfriend, closing the door behind him as he steals your desk chair. “The US education system failed you, didn’t it?”

“Well, it’s not like I paid attention in science anyway,” he shrugs, “But what are you doing tonight?”

“I’m out tonight,” you say. You and Matthew had only been dating for about two months, and you still hadn’t brought up that you were one of the dancers with the Stampede. You didn’t know why; it just never came up. “Why, what did you have in mind?”

“The guys and I were going to go out for some Flames promotion thing, I wanted you to come.”

“If you guys go out after ten, I can try to catch up with you, but I also need sleep with school tomorrow,” you say as he pouts. You also needed more money, but that wasn’t something you were about to tell him. You ruffle his curly hair, him swatting your hands away as the pout turns to a smile. “You can come and make copies with me if you want. You have to wait to leave right now anyway, the buses are still outside,” you tell him, sending the documents to the printer down the hall. 

“Do I get to press the buttons?” he asks like a child, getting up to follow you down the hall.

You start walking, the sound of your heels echoing through the hallway as Matthew trails behind you, some of the students trying to figure out what he was doing in their school in the first place, him not knowing where he was going with you. “No, the thing is ancient and I don’t trust you not to break the one copier on this floor because then I’m the one who’s responsible for fixing it.” He starts to pout again, following you into the room with the copier. “Ok, then do you want to fix it when it stops working?” 

“That would end well for no one,” he says, looking down at his shoes. 

You can’t help but laugh as you go to start making the first set of copies that you needed. You sit down at the table in the center of the room, taking Matthews fidgeting hands in yours. “So, how did you even get into the school, to begin with? I didn’t know you were coming to tell the office.”

“You’d be amazed by what you can do when you’re a professional athlete. I just said I was visiting you and they told me I could go once the bell rang,” he shrugs. 

“That is an issue on so many levels,” you say, him just smiling and kissing the back of your hand. 

“Eh, well. Are you sure you can’t come out with us tonight? The guys love you and I think you’d have a really good time tonight.” 

You hear the copier stop, groaning as you get up to make the next batch. You could have just queued them all up at once, but that would make the copier angry. “What are you guys doing?” 

“It’s Flames night at the Stampede, so a bunch of us are going.” 

You stop what you’re entering into the copier, thankful that your back is facing Matthew. You should just tell him you were going to be there tonight, too. If you told him you were going to be there with other friends from work, that wouldn’t be a lie. Why weren’t you telling him in the first place? Maybe it was because you were slightly upset that you had to have two jobs just to make ends meet while he was living a life of luxury on one paycheck. But at least both jobs were ones that you loved, so that made things a little better. “Oh, cool. I’ve never seen one of the shows there, actually,” was all you could get out. That wasn’t totally a lie; you couldn’t see the show when you were in it.

“See, more of a reason why you should come out with us tonight!” 

“I said maybe. That’s not a no. Now come on, I need to get home,” you hand him the stacks of paper to bring back to your classroom.

“Can we at least do something tomorrow night?” he pleads, putting the papers down on your desk. 

“I need one copy of these in the yellow and orange folders and one copy of this one in the pink folders, and one copy of this in the blue folders,” you instruct him while you check to see if you have another rehearsal or anything that you need to be at tomorrow night. “But what do you want to do tomorrow night?” 

“Uh, well, I was planning on getting in an early workout with Noah and Johnny the next morning since we have a late flight to Colorado so nothing that involves anything late,” he says, trying to concentrate on putting one piece of paper into each folder. “Why do you do this again?”

“Nothing late is the best, so I’m down for whatever.” That also, hopefully, meant that it was something that involved little to no money being spent, “And it helps me know who is missing that day or just didn’t take their papers and it helps them make sure they get their papers. I put them out before each class and they take them when they walk in.” He just shrugs, not completely understanding the method to your madness, but it worked for you and your students, so who cared? “How much time do you have before you have to meet the guys?” You ask him, even though you really don’t have time yourself. 

“I gotta run; this was the only time I had to see you, so I wanted to come by,” he says, putting the folders in neat piles, handing them to you. 

“That’s so sweet. I feel like we haven’t gotten to see each other a lot lately, with the season picking up and all.” You put the folders on one of the counters in your room, dropping the two on the top.

As you bend down to pick them up, you hear Matthew exhale, “Is it bad that all I can think of is picking you up and doing some very bad things to you on that counter?”

You turn around, pretending to be disgusted. “Matthew! The students leave their water bottles here!” you squeal, thankful that your classroom door was closed since students were still roaming the halls. “That might be something we can do tomorrow night, just not on this counter.” You pack your computer in your bag, grabbing that, your keys, and Matthew’s hand to drag him out of the school before he says anything else that shouldn’t be said around children. 

“Can I at least kiss you in the parking lot?” he whines.

“Nope, my spot and therefore my car faces the track, some of my advanced kids are on the track team and I do not need them bringing up my romantic rendezvous with my boyfriend in class tomorrow and for the rest of the year. But where are you parked?”

“I ubered. Can I get a ride?” he says, giving you the puppy dog eyes that always made you say yes to him.

“Get in, pain in the ass.” You drive him home, the entire drive spent with him constantly begging you to go upstairs with him, but you really did have to get home and change. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Your place or mine?” 

“Your pick, just text me when you decide,” he says, leaning over to give you a kiss. “Wait, are we far enough away from the school for you to kiss me now?” he teases, ghosting your lips as a mischievous smile dancing across his face. 

“Shut up and kiss me,” you say, taking his face in your hands, kissing him instead. 

“Are you sure you can’t come upstairs for just a minute?” he begs once he pulls away, his forehead against yours.

You wanted to, but he did say he had to run and you definitely had to get home and change. Looking at the clock out of the corner of your eye, you had about an hour to get home, get ready, and get over to the grounds before the parking was so full that walking from your car to the grounds would be considered your warm-up. “I’ve really got to go,” you say.

“Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow, though,” he says, giving you another quick kiss before getting out of your car. 

“Yeah, bye,” you call as he runs inside. You did have to tell him eventually that you had another job, but he was going to find out tonight anyway. Would he be mad that you kept something like this from him, especially when he told you that he was going to be there tonight and you stood there and didn’t say anything? 

You spend your entire drive home freaking out a little. This is a pretty big part of your life that you hid from him, especially since dancing has been part of your life for as long as you could remember, but you just couldn’t figure out how to tell him you needed a second job to live. What if he hates you because you’ve been keeping part of your life a secret from him? No, he couldn’t hate you, could he? Not for something like this. In all your freaking out, you completely mess up your makeup. Frustrated and in a hurry, you now had to completely redo your face in what would be record time, or be late enough that you risked walking a mile from your car.

You restart your makeup, deciding that you were going to do as little as possible, only to be distracted by your friend Rory's face popping up on your phone with an incoming call. “So is your hunky boyfriend going to be at this thing tonight?”

“Hello to you, too. And yeah he told me he was coming.”

“So he knows you’re going to be there?” 

You hear her drop something on her end, which is perfect since it gives you time to avoid her question, pretend not to hear it as your finish your face and try to run out the door. “Sorry, Ror, didn’t catch that, I’m running out the door to my car,” you tell her. 

“That translates to: no, I didn’t tell him.” 

“Well, he’s not stupid, he’ll be able to figure out it’s me when he sees my face. It’s not like I look that different when I have makeup on.” 

“You could call him and tell him right now.”

“Nope. He’ll find out when he gets there if he even notices.”

“Alright, love. Just make sure you find me after he freaks out,” she says, hanging up. He wouldn’t freak out, right? It’s not like you were lying per se, you were just not telling him the truth of things. He might be a little mad about not telling him exactly where you were going tonight, but none of what you told him was wrong: you were out with people you worked with. You just didn’t say you were going to actually be at work. 

You spend your entire ride trying to justify to yourself why you shouldn’t be freaking out over tonight, which then inadvertently caused you to freak out anyway. After parking what felt like a mile away and pretty much running to the room where you got ready, Rory is standing at the door, waiting for you. 

“Come here, I’m finishing your makeup.”

“I finished my makeup!” you protest as she takes you by the hand and drags you in front of a mirror.

“If your boyfriend is coming tonight, then you need to look better than that.” 

“He came to my classroom earlier and I almost never wear makeup to school. I look fine.” 

“Eyes closed,” she instructs. You do as she says. You can hear the crowd coming in to watch the show that you were about to put on for them. You were in the opening act, one in the middle, and then the end, so you had plenty of downtime to worry, pace, and freakout, while trying to remember your routine and get a headstart on your lessons for next week. “I don’t understand why you’ve spent this entire time dancing here with us and then dating him for what, two months now? And he still doesn’t know that much about you? Like I understand keeping mystery in the relationship to keep everything exciting, but this seems like basic information that should have been shared. It’s not like you’re doing something illegal.”

“If my eyes were open, I’d be rolling them at you,” you mutter. You didn’t need a lecture from her about this. You were already well aware of the fact that this was something you should have told him, but what could you do about it now?

“I’m just saying,” she starts again.

“Yes, I know, I know. You have been just saying since I first showed you his picture.” Thankfully, she stops talking, finishing your makeup in less time than you thought it would take. You can hear your phone buzzing in your bag, Matthew’s face lighting up your screen. “Hey, what’s up?” you ask, trying to change while also holding the phone to your ear. 

“Just wanted to say hi before the show started,” you hear him say, the guys screaming in his ear about him already being whipped. “Shut up,” he yells at them. “I thought I saw your car in the lot, though. Did you and your friends end up coming here or something?” 

Shit. You hear someone calling that it was almost time for the show, everyone needing to get ready to be in their place as you struggle to get your other shoe on. “Fuck, sorry, I have to go. I’ll talk to you later, bye!” you spit out, hanging up before he can say anything else. 

“Ready to be exposed?” Rory asks, getting next to you with the lights out.

“That’s what she said,” you slip in, the music and lights coming on, blinding you instantly as you went into the routine like it was something you were born to do. At one point in the routine, you’re off to the side, out of the spotlight and giving your vision enough time to see the audience, make out their faces and see who was paying attention and who was on their phone and trying to hide you. You glance to the left, seeing a sea of red, each man wearing the familiar C logo that you were suddenly mortified to see. You spotted Matthew’s curls instantly, thankful that you weren’t able to tell if he could see you or not since you had to go back under the light, erasing the outside world from you. 

The routine ends, you running back to where you get ready to see your phone lighting up with texts from Matthew.

Hey, what the hell?

Anything you need to tell me?

I’m going to be by your car once this is over. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck. He was mad. He was breaking up with you. This was it; your best relationship was over before it really got started. You should have just told him. Why didn’t you tell him? “Did he see you?” Rory asks, breaking you out of the trance you forced yourself into. 

“Yep, and he’s mad. After tonight I’m going to be single again, so that’s fun.”

“Well, Ryan’s had a crush on you since you started here, so there’s always him.”

“Rory!” you yell, trying to tell her she’s not helping without actually saying so. 

“Are you going to be ok to go on?” she asks, sitting you down on the floor with her. 

“I don’t know. I just want to talk to Matthew,” you admit. You can feel yourself start to cry, the commotion of everything around you muted as she just looked at you.

“Hey,” she says, putting her hand on your knee, “Why didn’t you tell him?”

You take in a deep breath, shaking your head because of how dumb the real reason is. “Do you know what it’s like to date someone who makes so much money that he can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants financially? I’m not mad about it, it’s just difficult when I have to work two jobs to make ends meet and that’s just not something he has to worry about. He always wants to go out with the guys and begs me to come but then I’m sitting there with like, ten dollars to my name meanwhile all of he and all of his friends can buy the bar if they wanted to and still have enough money to jet off to Australia or somewhere.”

“If he really likes you, then that kind of stuff shouldn’t matter. His first clue that you didn’t have a lot of money should have been when he found out you were a teacher.” You shoot her a look, “Ok, ok, but you know I’m right. From what you’ve told me, he just wants you to be happy. Go talk to him.”

“But the show?” 

“I’ll find your partner and tell him not to go on unless he can find you first. Ok?” Rory says, picking you back up off the floor, “Go to your man.”

You send him a text to meet you out by your car as soon as he can. You beat him to the car, pacing back and forth in front of the hood. You see him walking towards you, your heart beating like crazy. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” you blurt out to him before he can even get a word in.

His eyes meet yours, his lips pressed into a thin line. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

You just shrug, trying to figure out the words to say. “It never came up? I don’t know. I should have. It’s not a big deal, I just have to work the two jobs to make ends meet, especially since this is normally during the summer when I don’t have school and I can get a paycheck and I told you that I’ve been dancing since I was like three, I just left out the part about me still dancing and I’m sorry are you mad?” you let out all in one breath. 

He shrugs back, his hand in his jean pockets as he kicks a pebble back and forth with his foot. “That’s not the real reason. I know you well enough, Y/N, you’re not a good liar.”

 “You have everything. I have to struggle to make ends meet, and even doing this, it’s still tough. I love both of my jobs; I was always worried that I would have to choose between teaching or dancing, and yes I have to do both in order to survive, but I would do both even if one was enough. I’m sorry,” you say again.

“This isn’t something that’s going to work if we keep things from each other. I mean, what if I had a secret family? I mean, the guys know who you are, too. What do you think it was like having them see my girlfriend dancing out there and me sitting there like an idiot not even knowing this was something you do?” he counters, his hands starting to wave around with frustration.

“Not telling you about a job is a lot different than you keeping a whole family from me. It’s not like this is some sort of scandal, this is something that I’m insecure about, I don’t know what else to tell you. Sorry I made you look slightly stupid in front of your friends.” you turn away from him, starting to go back inside when he grabs you by the arm, turning you towards him. 

He bites his bottom lip, face scrunched like he’s trying to figure out what he’s going to do next. “This is something that makes you happy?” 

“Yeah.”

“What about teaching?”

“Same feeling.”

“Then that’s all I care about. Come on, you think I would be angry that you had two jobs, or something? I would be angry if you had two jobs and you hated both of them. You’re doing what you love. Every time you talk about what you did at school that day, your eyes light up and I don’t even think you realize how much energy you get just thinking about your students and I feel so proud to be with someone who’s so passionate about what they do. If you’re like that about this, then oh my, god, I think the guys are going to kill me for talking about you so much.”

“Aw, you talk about me to the guys?” 

The line in his lips turns into a small smile as he moves towards you, pulling you closer to him. His hand finds the small of your back, lips close enough that you’re sure he’s about to kiss you. “Are you kidding? I don’t shut up about you.”

“I talk about you a lot here, but if I did that at school my Principal would get very angry at me for not teaching.”

“Damn, your kids would go wild if they knew you were sleeping with one of their favorite athletes.”

“Yeah, and I would be fired for telling them and also lying to them since their favorite player is Sean.” 

He pulls away, a shocked look on his face, “I’m better than Monny,” he says, acting like he’s hurt. You throw your head back laughing as he pulls you closer to him. “Is it bad that I’m still thinking about fucking you on the counter in your classroom but now you’re wearing this?” 

“How about somewhere that my students don’t have access to and I wear one of your jerseys instead?”

His eyes grow wide before he closes them, obviously thinking about it, “Fuck,” he lets out, his face going towards the sky. “Please do.”

“Calm down there, Tkachuk, you still have the rest of the show to get through first.”