#the whiplash of writing nightmare in a tense situation

[damadorias]

Ngl I got like, an old unfinished dreamswap fic au ig ??? That's just been sitting there for years and lowkey I'm tempted to actually continue and share it mayhaps if it's not too cringe, it would be good practice for my original stuff since well,,, I'm still fckn tryna write doranverse lmao,,, my perfectionist brain is in editing hell with doranverse rn so idk maybe practice fics would help with that, and also bc it's fun writing dreamswap stuff ngl even if I have no idea how accurate I am with the cast, lots of ppl like my older dreamswap fics to this day on ao3 so ig that's something good

[djhasawildheart]

A Note About The End

It's hard to talk about a relationship in the past tense.

Especially when it was messy from the start that you worked to conceal that from most of the people in your life and didn't see was wrong.

Abuse takes many forms.

At the start of our relationship, I was blind to the fact that I was emotionally blackmailed into moving to Sacramento. After discussing the possibility of getting our own apartment together in June 2020, I was growing apprehensive about the move. I was laid off from Lyft, with a very generous severance package that allowed me to collect unemployment while I looked for remote work & protected myself from COVID. When we started talking about the possibility of living together, I was excited about being in the same place in a very isolated and scary time. When I raised my concerns about moving up there so soon, to an apartment I didn't have a hand in choosing, I was told - "If you don't move up here now, I don't think we can be together". The web of guilt, shame, and gaslighting was being woven before me, but I couldn't see it taking form. I decided to pack all my things and drive across the state into a new beginning.

Over the course of the next fifteen months, I didn't talk about the arguments, the gaslighting, the fights, the pressures, and the lies to those closest to me. I wanted to believe that these were things we could work through. I was unaware of the cycle of abuse I was navigating, until the pressure was too much to bear.

I don't think it serves a purpose to detail all of the abuse and violence. I have moved on, cut all ties of communication, and worked with my therapists to heal and truly lead a happier and healthier life than I had in many, many years. But I think it's important to say that I am a survivor of domestic violence and numerous forms of abuse, that manifested as financial, emotional, and sexual abuse. I was guilted into having sex & wasn't listened to when I tried to say no. My boundaries were frequently violated. Even saying that my boundaries were seldom respected feels like I'm trying to sugarcoat something that serves little purpose for my own good.

When I was getting help, I asked her not to contact me. She was trying to emotionally blackmail me at the start, eventually moving to fight her way to taking me home to heal her way. After I established my boundary over communication, I was texted over 100 times, voicemails piled up, and unwanted advances were attempted. She heard my request for understanding and respect for my boundaries while I healed and she laughed. She mocked me. It went from strained to a nightmare.

In the end, I did what was best for me. I had to - it was obvious from our conversations that I was the only one who wanted me to be healthy and happy for myself. Standing up for myself meant I couldn't be a pawn to her.

She broke off our engagement and broke off our relationship. She gaslit me to the very end, saying that I didn't give her a choice and that meant we might as well break up.

Three months later, she went from crying on the phone while saying she wanted to stay friends to saying she never wanted to speak to me again with a fire of fury in her voice. In the span of two days. The whiplash and gaslighting remained to the very end.

One of the reasons I haven't talked about this is pretty simple.

I made the choice to block her everywhere we were connected & I deleted every picture from our time together, along with our text chain. I knew that having the cleanest break would be best for me. But this meant that I couldn't refute her if she started sharing our conversations. And based on the way she was in the end, I wouldn't put it past her.

I know we have many shared friends from the Disney days. I felt it was important to write this. It was important to speak up for myself.

If you're in an abusive and violent situation, I would encourage you to reach out for help. Escaping such a situation can be devastating - it destroyed my life. But you can rebuild, you can heal, you can bounce back.

The bright side of your life blowing up is that it clears away everything - it gives you a clean slate to built back better.

10.24.2022.

[silvermoongirl10swfics]

Without a light I fear that I will stumble in the dark - missing scene

This is a missing/extra scene from Without a light (my Force Sensitive Fox fic) that I wanted to write, but wouldn’t fit into the main story as it is about my medic OCs Manner and Scalpel. Scalpel has had mentions in Without a light and one of my fics for Codywanweek2021, but this is his first main appearance. 

This is set just before the war starts (during chapter 5 of Without a light) and before Scalpel and Manner are assigned to their battalions. 

Warnings for mentions and discussions of medical treatment.

Scalpel watched as Cadet-Commander Fox left the Medbay with Alpha-17, the Alpha staring at Fox in concern. While Fox forced himself not to scratch the stitches Scalpel’s batchmate Manner had used to help Fox’s new injury above and below his right eye. Scalpel watched the pair leave the Medbay, a hint of longing in his gaze, he often wondered what it would be like to be in a CC batch and assigned to an Alpha to train with. Scalpel and his batchmates were just ordinary CTs, and left to the mercy of the trainers, the Alphas would sometimes assist with their training and they were always the days they looked forward to, getting to be treated like they were sentient beings. Like they were valued. Added to Scalpel’s wishful thinking was how Fox’s batch was still together, while it was known by every brother on Kamino that the CCs would be separated from their batchmates once the war started, Scalpel’s batch had already started to be separated, unusual for a CT batch but it did sometimes happen. Scalpel, Manner and Patch had all scored high in aptitude tests that marked them out as potential medics, leaving Fixer and Xerus in the usual CT training sessions. Over the past couple of years, Fixer had also demonstrated high skills with machinery and so he had been moved into engineer training. Meaning he didn’t spend all of his training with Xerus. Patch and Manner, the two oldest of the batch, were now worrying about Xerus, wondering how he was coping without his batchmates around him all of the time. Thankfully, CT-8914, or 14 as he was known, was good friends with Scalpel’s batch and had adopted Xerus into his batch.

Hearing a sigh, Scalpel turned to find Manner rubbing a hand over his face, causing Scalpel to smile. Manner, the second eldest of their batch, had always been gruff, despite how highly he scored in the aptitude test that made him a medic, it was widely assumed you had to be nice and caring to be a medic. Recently Scalpel and the others had been worried about Manner after Attitude died last year. Attitude was Manner’s best friend outside of their batch and Manner had taken Attitude’s death hard, blaming himself and retreating from everyone he was close to in an attempt to protect himself from further loss. Scalpel had been the first batchmate Manner had let get close to him since Attitude died and Scalpel was aware, that the war could start anytime, and as they were ten, their batch would be deployed as soon as the war started. And he didn’t want there to be any risk of their batch being separated while Manner continued to isolate himself.

“Kriffing CCs,” muttered Manner, casting a glare towards the door of the Medbay where Fox and Alpha-17 had left.

Scalpel rolled his eyes, “Fox was actually a model patient. He only tried to talk to you.”

Manner turned his glare on Scalpel, unlike the other medics who would flinch if Manner so much as glanced in their direction, Scalpel just smirked in response. Well used to his batchmate’s mannerisms. “CCs are more trouble than they’re worth,” scowled Manner, his look defiant as if daring Scalpel to disagree. Well what else were vod’ika for?

“I think the CCs are great! Especially Fox’s batch. I hope to get assigned to the same battalion as one of them!” enthused Scalpel, a blinding grin on his face. Manner’s eye actually twitched at that. Scalpel smirked and added, “you are going to be assigned with one CC Manner. You might as well get used to the idea now.”

His ori’vod’s glare intensified, as if Scalpel was voicing Manner’s worst nightmare. “Just so long as it’s not Commander ‘a blaster pack exploded in my face’, I do not want to deal with that regularly.”

Scalpel rolled his eyes, “from what I’ve heard, Fox doesn’t get hurt that often. And I also heard a blaster pack did explode in his face.” Manner just sighed in response causing Scalpel to smile. It was obvious to Scalpel that Manner didn’t dislike Fox nearly as much as he was letting on, Scalpel just knew most of Manner’s opinions on Fox came from not knowing how much Priest’s attention on Fox had affected the CC. Deciding to tease his ori’vod some more, Scalpel smiled sweetly at Manner, noticing his batchmate tense as he began cleaning away the supplies, he used to stitch the cut on Fox’s face. “Honestly Manner, Fox is a little gruff himself, I think the two of you could be great friends.”

Manner turned around so quickly that Scalpel was almost concerned his batchmate got whiplash. Manner glared at Scalpel, “don’t ever say something that offensive again. Fox and I do not have anything in common, and we will never be friends! Got it?” Scalpel held his hands up in surrender but opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, Manner was stalking over to him and hissed. “You say another word about me being friends with that CC and then everyone will find out why we now have to carry more than one scalpel in our med-kits.”

Knowing Manner was serious and would make good on his threat if Scalpel let word get out Manner was friends with Fox, Scalpel didn’t say anything. (Why that was such a problem Scalpel could only guess. Maybe Manner didn’t want to make friends and the best way to stop that happening was to make sure he had no known friends outside of his batch.) Manner didn’t want friends, that was sad but Scalpel had self-preservation instincts and he didn’t want to push Manner. Scalpel didn’t want the other medics, even Patch his eldest batchmate, knowing why they had to pack at least two scalpels into their med-kits. The reason being that Scalpel had kept misplacing his scalpel during field exercises, and therefore being unable to treat the fake casualties he had to practice his skills on. It was not the reason he was called Scalpel, as much as Manner liked to tease him about it. He had actually chosen the name Scalpel because he had recently been put into surgical technician training.

Checking the time and seeing that his and Manner’s shifts had been over for three minutes, Scalpel gestured towards the door to the Medbay. “Want to head back to the barracks?” Manner nodded, and after they had both signed out, they were leaving the Medbay. Scalpel was glad to be away from the sharp chemical smells, he actually liked medic training, but he could do without the smells of the disinfectant and other chemicals used in the Medbay. They soon returned to the barracks that their batch shared with a few others, unlike the CCs who lived in one batch to a barracks, the CTs were well used to mixing with other batches. They reached their sleeping pods, Scalpel sighed, Patch’s shift in the Medbay was two hours longer than theirs, while Fixer and Xerus were still training together with 14’s batch. Manner flickered his gaze over to Scalpel, a hint of worry in his eyes at Scalpel’s forlorn sigh.

Shrugging Scalpel smiled slightly at Manner. “I like being a medic, but I wish our batch could still spend most of our time together.”

Manner sighed and nodded slightly, “I get it.” He then started to make towards the ladder, but Scalpel reached out and lightly grabbed his arm. “What?” asked Manner, turning to look at Scalpel in consideration.

“Just…look…can we double up?” Scalpel asked quietly. He scuffed his foot on the floor, not quite looking at Manner, but not fully looking at the floor either. He jumped slightly when a gentle hand landed on his shoulder, Scalpel looked up to see Manner directing his version of a smile at him while he nodded. Scalpel felt his spirits lift, and eagerly followed Manner up the ladder, waiting while Manner opened his pod. Seconds after Manner situated himself into his pod, lying on his back, Scalpel was lying in the pod next to him. Manner closed the pod and then Scalpel lay on his right side, positioning himself so that his head rested on Manner’s chest. His ori’vod wrapped one arm around his waist, and placed the other in his regulation length hair. Scalpel sighed again, “I don’t want our batch to be separated.” It was his worst fear, but he had the sinking suspicion that Patch and Manner were being considered for Senior Medical Officers, meaning they would be separated.

A hand started to gently run through his hair. Manner’s silence was telling, his ori’vod also knew about the potential ranks of command that could be placed on himself and Patch. “We’ll have commlinks, we’ll all be able to stay in contact,” murmured Manner.

“It won’t be the same,” scowled Scalpel. He wasn’t whining, he wasn’t.

“It’ll be alright vod’ika,” promised Manner. Scalpel almost argued against his ori’vod’s words, but then he felt how tense Manner was underneath him and then he realised that Manner was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to comfort Scalpel. So, instead Scalpel just hugged Manner in response, nuzzling his head against Manner’s chest. There was a snort of amusement from above him. “We should have called you Tooka,” commented Manner in amusement.

“You don’t even know what a tooka is,” protested Scalpel, his voice faint and slightly slurred from the tiredness pulling at him.

“Pretty sure they’re like you,” stated Manner quietly. The hand in Scalpel’s hair slowed, but continued to card through his strands of hair, making Scalpel’s eyes droop.

Not long later, Manner found out he was indeed being made SMO, assigned to the Coruscant Guard. Scalpel had been there when Manner found out he was going to Coruscant with the newly promoted Marshall Commander Fox. Manner had been left swearing so vigorously 99 had ushered away nearby little Cadets, much to Scalpel’s amusement.

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A year and a half later, while Scalpel was sat in the mess of the Negotiator with Fixer and Patch. They were discussing how nice it would be for the 212th to meet up with the 501st in two days, allowing them to see Xerus and see how he was doing as he was an ARC Trooper now. Then Scalpel looked down to see he had gotten a message from Moonshine (formerly CT-8914). Fixer and Patch seemed to have gotten the message as well going by their smiles and chuckles. Scalpel opened up their batch group chat and sent a message to Manner.

Scalpel: @Manner nice to hear you’ve officially become friends with Commander Fox! :D

Manner: What are you talking about?

Patch: Don’t deny it vod’ika. Moonshine told us you’ve just admitted to Commander Fox you’re friends now.

Fixer: This is too sweet. I think I’m going to be sick.

Xerus: Who are you? And what have you done with Manner?

Manner: Moonshine is a dead man.

Scalpel: I hate to break it to you ori’vod. But you are a medic, and an SMO at that. You can’t go round killing vod’e.

Patch: Also, I hear Moonshine supplies Commander Fox with moonshine. I don’t think your new best friend will thank you for upsetting his moonshine supply.

Manner: I hate you all.

Xerus: We love you too Manner!!! <3

Fixer: We love you and miss you!!!!!! <3 <3 <3

Scalpel: Admit it. You miss us!

Manner: No, I karking well don’t! You are all a pain in my shebs, a pain I could do without!!!

Patch: He misses us. I can tell. Love you Manner!! <3

Scalpel sniggered to himself as he watched angry message after angry message arrive from Manner. Patch had told him about the skirmish between the Separatists and a group made up of some men of the 91st and the Guard. Word had gotten out that Commander Fox had almost died, and Scalpel had known Manner had been worried. The fact that Manner had basically told Commander Fox that he thought of him as a friend said how worried Manner had been. Scalpel was just glad that Manner had a friend on Coruscant. He, Patch and Fixer were assigned to the 212th, and Xerus to the 501st, meaning the four of them saw each other regularly. Manner on the other hand, never left Coruscant, and Scalpel always felt bad that Manner was so far away from the rest of his batch. But it seemed Scalpel didn’t have to worry so much anymore. Much to his relief.

End note: The last part is set just after chapter 11 of Without a light. In that chapter it is explained how Attitude died.

[theonewiththefanfics]

Masterpiece (one-shot)

Synopsys: As an actress, the Reader has to kiss a lot of people, but after one particular time, her boyfriend Ben gets a bit jealous. And the only thing she can do is remind him how much he means to her.

Pairing: Ben Hardy x f!Reader

Genre: tiny bit of angst, SMUT, lil bit of floof

Warnings: SMUT (unprotected sex (wrap it up you guys before doing the devil’s tango); fingering etc,), swearing... y’all, this is filth. Like it starts off all nice and cute but holy shit, I was legit sweating while writing :D

Word count: 3350

   “Steve, it’s okay,” Y/N said, looking up at Steve Harrington, or rather Joe Keery as Steve Harrington. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Completely opposite actually.”    The man rubbed his neck nervously, just like the script said and he looked down at the girl.    “I love you," Y/N whispered. "In fact, I’ve been in love with you for quite a while now.”    “Y-You have?”    She bashfully smiled, looking down at the ground. “Is that so hard to believe?”    “Yes, well, no, I…” Joe perfectly stumbled over his lines and sighed, bringing a finger to run along the prosthetic cut on her forehead. “It’s just that I’ve known you for so long, and I’ve loved you for such a long time, it almost seems unreal that you feel the same.”    And Y/N, right on cue, pushed back that mop of Farrah Fawcett spray filled hair and leaned up to kiss him, before saying the last line of the scene. "Just please don't wait to kiss me until we're both about to die."    “Cut!” the director yelled, and cheers erupted all around set. “And that is a wrap on Y/N Y/L/N, everybody!”    The claps and whoops only grew in noise, most of them coming from Joe, Charlie and Nat, which made Y/N only laugh harder. But then certain green eyes and blond hair caught her gaze.    “No,” she muttered, still sitting on the ground of where they’d fought off the imagined Demogorgon’s. “It- you- Ben?”    The man only shrugged, standing behind some crewmen and gave her a small smile. Y/N was up like lightning, and she practically flew over the set, launching her body into her boyfriend’s arms. She could still faintly smell cigarettes, no doubt he’d smoked at least two before coming and seeing her finish her final scene, but that was all overpowered, by the smell of home.    “You’re here,” Y/N’s voice was full of awe and love, and she was about to have a breakdown when Ben’s arms tightened around her waist as if trying to fuse their bodies together. 

   “Was missing my girl too much, so what else could I do?”    Y/N didn’t deign to reply, only closed her eyes and turned her head to the side, pressing their lips together. She was pretty sure there was some wolf-whistling going around and through a haze, she heard someone yell ‘there are children still on the set’ but she couldn’t care less. Her Ben was with her. It was all that mattered.    Reluctantly, Y/N untangled herself from him but intertwined their hands as she led him around and introduced the man to the cast and crew.    “And this is Joe,” she said, widely smiling at the man, still in the 80s clothing.    The brunet extended a palm which Ben grasped, but Y/N noticed a weird tension fill the air, and saw his muscles go a bit tauter than they had been previously.    “You know, it’s great to finally meet the person she can’t shut up about.”    Ben threw Y/N a smirk, to which she just rolled her eyes and gently pushed Joe’s shoulder with hers. “Thanks, bud. Really appreciate it.”    “Anytime, darling,” Joe responded and pressed a quick kiss to her head before slipping away. “You coming to the get together right?”    “We wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Y/N said, grinning. Though when she looked up to Ben, a sour grimace that was dangerously close to looking murderous was on his face, angry green eyes following the other actor.    Gently she brought his gaze back to her. “Love, you okay?”    It was like he snapped out of a dream once Y/N’s features were in view, his expression softening and a tired smile appearing on his face. “Now that I’m with you, nothing could be better."    But things weren’t alright. He was acting off all throughout the whole cast get together, as they celebrated Y/N’s final shot of the season, but she just brushed it off. It was probably due to jet lag and having to fly for such a long time since he himself had only just now finished the press tour for ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’. Except, as the pair had settled themselves in Y/N’s trailer, her head laying on top of Ben’s chest, her legs covered only in a pair of shorts and her body adorned by one of his large shirts, she couldn’t help but listen to that nagging voice inside her head.    “Ben are you alright?”    Big emerald eyes looked down at her before returning to the computer that was playing some movie neither was really paying any attention to.    “Ben, you know, you can talk to me,” Y/N took his jaw between her fingers. “About anything.”    But still, he just kept watching the show, not bothering to look at the girl and that’s when she got mad.    “Fine,” Y/N said, standing up and out of Ben’s embrace. Without a word she took off her sleeping shorts and pulled on sweatpants, throwing over her frame a big hoodie. “You wanna act like a child and not talk to me, be my guest.”    “Wait, no, Y/N,” Ben called out a second before she could slam the trailer’s door closed. He’d watched with a dazed mind, as she had gotten ready, not really understanding what was happening until she grabbed her phone and bag. “Please,” he hung his head. “Don’t leave.”    “Then talk to me!” Y/N exasperated, cupping Ben’s face. “I can’t read your mind, so I need you to talk to me.”    “I- I can’t!” he threw his hands up and ran one of the palms through the blond hair. It was Y/N’s favourite habit and she knew he himself quite enjoyed it when the girl tugged on the longer locks at the top.    “Why? What is so bad to you can’t discuss it with me?” Immediately her mind went to the worst-case scenario. “Do you wanna break up?”    When Y/N said those words, Ben snapped his head to the side so much, he thought he had whiplash. “No! No, no, no, no, no! Don’t you ever dare say that, no…. I love you,” he quickly kissed Y/N, quenching the rising panic he saw on her face. “Always. It’s just… stupid and dumb and I can’t talk to you about it, cause I know it’s stupid and dumb.”    Her voice was low and soft as if soothing a child after a nightmare. “Love, if it’s made you upset, it’s valid. No matter how insignificant you think it is, it’s important to me, cause you’re hurting.”    The amount of affection shining in those Y/E/C eyes Ben loved to get lost in, made him choke up. “I don’t deserve you,” he said through a tearful chuckle. “I love you so much.”    Instantly, Y/N brought him in her embrace. “You deserve the world and so much more.” Her hands rubbed up and down his back, relaxing the tense muscles, and Ben could actually feel the ropes of anxiety releasing.    “I was jealous,” he mumbled in the crook of Y/N’s neck, nose hidden in her Y/H/C hair. “I was jealous of Joe and Joe’s character. I was jealous that he got to kiss you like I do, and say that he loved you as I do… but mostly I was jealous that you said it back and I know,” Ben emphasised the last word, as he felt Y/N about to retaliate, “it’s your job and I know you didn’t mean it like that. It was your character saying it. But I just couldn’t help but remember all those times we shared, how happy you made me and still do... but now… seeing someone else, acting or otherwise, in my spot… it just made me realize how fragile what we have is. That any moment could be the last one we spend together, and I didn’t want my last one to be watching you confess your love to someone else…”    It was like a boulder had dropped from Ben’s heart as he finished the rant. He almost expected Y/N to start laughing, or at least start chuckling. She always dealt with the heavy stuff through humour, which was one of the things that had made the Brit fall for her. Y/N’s ability to find the silver lining in any situation had been so endearing, he couldn’t help his heart.    But instead of laughter, he felt wetness slide down his shoulders and chest. With furrowed brows, he pulled back to see Y/N crying.    “There is no one in the whole world who I love more than I love you. You’re it for me, Ben,” she said, pulling their foreheads together. “You’re my future in all shapes and sizes. You’re the one that gets my heart racing, the one that makes it soar when we kiss. You’re the one that makes me smile and laugh even at the dumbest things. You’re a masterpiece, Ben Hardy and you make me feel like one too.”    A pure laugh bubbled up in Ben’s chest and his lips widened in a grin, but soon enough it slowly disappeared as his pupils dilated at Y/N’s words.    “You’re the one who sets my body aflame anytime you touch me,” her voice was a husk now, and she was looking at him through half-hooded eyes. “You’re the one that can make me crumble apart in a matter of minutes, and you’re the one I think of when we’re months apart. When I can’t touch you… when you can’t touch me… I always imagine your lips and fingers, your chest hovering above mine as you repeatedly kiss my neck, before I can do nothing else but beg…”    And in a bold move, Y/N grabbed Ben’s wrist and slid his hand inside of her pants, letting him feel the mess she’d already made.    “This is what you do to me,” she whispered in his ear, as a groan rumbled through his chest. She could feel his member hardening with every second that they stood pressed together. “All day, every day, this is what you reduce me to.” Ben let his fingers get coated by Y/N’s slick, as his other arm wove around her waist to pull the girl’s body closer. It took him less than half a second to have his mouth pressed against hers, tongue viciously asking for permission to enter and when she granted him his wish, Ben could have come from the kiss and the feeling of Y/N’s wetness alone.    “Me?” the word was a ragged intake of breath before he attached his lips to her neck and sucked on her sweet spot. He had her body memorized like a map. “I do this to you?”    “Fuck, my fingers could never do what yours can,” Y/N moaned feeling him skim one of the slender digits right over her core. “Was always left unsatisfied, cause they couldn’t get in as deep.”    Ben somehow lead them to the small bed in the trailer without detaching his lips or fingers from their work, though once the back of his knees hit the edge and he fell back on his ass, he roughly pulled Y/N with, slipping his middle finger inside of her.    He relished in the shocked gasp that escaped her mouth and greedily wanted more. Tenderly, as to not hurt the girl, for it had been a while, he could feel by the way her walls clenched around him, Ben eased another finger.    Looking up, his mouth hung open at the view, as Y/N succumbed to pleasure. Her forehead was already covered by a sheer layer of sweat, eyes closed, lashes casting long shadows down her cheekbones and he could see how desperately she tried to gulp down air.    “You’re so beautiful,” Ben mumbled, trailing his nose down Y/N’s neck to her collarbones, where he let his lips do the magic and leave a blooming purple flower.    She felt like she was suffocating but in the most amazing way. Her veins were on fire, and Y/N was pretty sure her lungs were pulling in flames. Pushing Ben’s head away, Y/N pulled off the hoodie and the shirt underneath in one swift motion, still rolling her hips against his palm, his thumb slowly circling the little bundle of nerves, that had been left untouched up until that point.    “Fucking hell,” Ben cursed as he dove in, mouth attaching to a nipple while the thrusts of his fingers became harsher. Soon enough, he’d marked her chest all over, and as she was just about to beg, when he slid his ring finger inside of her as well, prompting Y/N to clamp down on his wrist.    Her head fell to the crook of Ben’s neck, hot breath fanning over his sensitive skin. She made him feel alive in every sense of the word, and when he curled his digits upward, gently scraping along that spot that made Y/N see white, Ben swore he was in heaven.    A loud, shameless moan could be heard all throughout the trailer and, they were pretty sure in the neighbouring ones as well. Ben grinned like a madman, knowing it was all his doing. Her breathless, blissed out whining state was all him.    “Need more,” Y/N chocked out, opening her eyes, and grabbing at his shirt to pull it off. “Need you, Ben, fuck, I need you.”    Hearing her so desperate for him, made the man painfully hard, so at the same time as he was ridding himself from the offensive piece of clothing that separated his chiselled chest from Y/N, she was pulling down both her sweats and his boxers.    Instantly her lips were on his collarbones, neck, everywhere they could get to, while her hand expertly moved up and down his shaft.    If Ben hadn’t been so consumed by Y/N and everything going on at the moment, he would be shameful to admit, how many times, during the three months apart, while he was doing press for his movie and she was filming, did he imagine her hands and mouth wrapped around him.    Of course, those fantasies were healthy, they were a couple, they were in love, but holy shit was his desire for the girl insatiable.    Laying down on the soft sheets, Ben was instantly wrapped by Y/N’s scent even more so than previously. His grip on her waist was bruising. She was just about to trail down a path across his pecks, but he was too impatient.    “In the morning,” Ben kissed Y/N harshly, teeth clashing together as her palms cradled his cheeks. “Have to be in you now.”    But when he grasped his member at the base and was ready to let her slide down, a thick drop of her slick dripped down and slowly glid along the purplish tip, that was swollen from being so neglected, all the way down to his pubic bone and then between his legs and onto the sheets.    “Fucking hell,” Ben’s eyes were wide, and he grabbed Y/N’s body in both his arms, turning so she was the one on the pillows. Her face was the epitome of confusion, but all that was wiped away when he leaned down and placed his lips on her centre.    Y/N’s back arched up, and he had to use quite a lot of strength to get her back down, hands wrapping around her hips, and pulling her core even closer to his mouth. The sounds were obscene, and if anyone walked past the trailer, she’d die from the mortification, though at that moment the outside world didn’t exist.    Ben had gone down on Y/N on multiple occasions, it was one of his favourite hobbies, but there had been something to erotic, so intimate about seeing her already dripping like that, his primal side had completely taken over every sensible thought.    The pornographic moans that escaped from Y/N were his motivators to go on. The harder he sucked and flicked his tongue against the little nub, the louder she got. And Ben wanted the whole fucking cosmos to know who made her feel that way.    Without a warning, for Y/N simply couldn’t speak, the knot in her belly snapped and she released all of herself on Ben’s tongue. He stayed like that, head buried between her thighs until he was sure she had come back to Earth and there was not a single drop left to lick up.    Once he was satisfied, he leaned up and kissed Y/N, this time much more tenderly, letting their tongues intertwine and dance around, before he leaned back on his heels, bringing the girl to sit up, so they could resume their previous position.    Still not detaching from the kiss, Ben laid his head on Y/N’s pillow and caressed her body as she adjusted herself above his member and inch by inch, taking her time and enjoying the feeling of being so filled up, she slid down until there was nothing separating them, but skin.    He was buried deep inside of her and Y/N knew she wouldn’t last long. The last orgasm was still rippling through her bones as her arms weakly braced themselves on Ben’s chest. He looked thoroughly fucked out already, even though it had been her who experienced two orgasms.    First, she rolled her hips, once, twice, her clit dragging along Ben’s soft skin and it made her moan, before she found the angle that would consistently hit her G-spot. And then she was off to the races.    Obviously, Ben tried to help Y/N, palms gripping her waist, his own hips snapping up to meet her, but he absolutely loved it when she just let herself go, taking him in any way she liked to. Though now, it seemed that both were in equal control, Y/N’s nails digging and scraping along his chest and abs as Ben himself was pretty sure there’d be bruises on her sides after this.    Y/N was already tightening around him, walls clenching more and more with every thrust, and it was when she barely had a second to warm Ben, she was about to cum, he licked his thumb and pressed it against her clit.    The girl fell forward, hands grabbing onto the pillow the actor’s head had been resting on, and she bit down on his shoulder, muffling the scream tearing her throat apart. It was her release that brought upon his own.    Ben’s eyes rolled to the back of his head, as his body made the final movements on its own. He groaned, as he felt Y/N tighten around him even more, as thick hot spurts of cum painted her on the inside. It was like her walls were milking him for all he had, body and soul.        She could feel his thighs spasm and shake, the same way her own quivered, face desperately pressed against Ben’s collarbone. Her body was limp, and Y/N felt like every bone had turned to jelly and her muscles were made from silly strings.    His large palms detached from the girl’s sides and in slow, soothing motions, they moved from the curve of her spine up to her shoulder blades, attempting to ease the aftershocks that still ravaged Y/N’s frame a good couple of minutes after they were done.    Their breathing had somewhat stabilized and Ben pressed a kiss to Y/N’s temple.    “I should get jealous more often if this is what it leads to.”    Weakly, she turned her head to the side, cheek practically melting into his chest and she smiled, eyelids still heavy. “Next time it won’t work, cause you’ve told me your plan now.”    Ben’s frame rumbled with laughter, even though it was the most exhausted he’d felt in years.    “But you do have to apologize to Joe. I think you scared the man half to death when he said he enjoyed working with me and couldn’t wait for the next season.”    “Fine,” Ben kissed Y/N’s lips. “If that is what’ll make you happy.”    “You make me happy,” she sleepily replied, a pleasant ache already appearing all over her body and especially between her legs. “A bloody masterpiece is what you are. So how could I be anything but happy?”

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take): @thiccio-and-thicciet @roseslovedreams @vesoleil @gloomybisexualemo @kostyaownsmyheart @lumelgy @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @breezy1415 @crazy--me @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91 @dalilx @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @in-the-end-im-still-trash @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @sweet-ladyy @perriwiinkle @16wiishes @wanderingsami

A/N: *fans myself* well, this came out of completely left field :D, sweet lord, I need help :D

Also, no Misconstrued, I’m sorry, but I had to get this out of my system :D 

‘Cruisin’ for a Bruisin’ from Teen Beach Movie is such a bop lol :D

P.S. what did you think?

P.S.S. my tags are always open, so if you wanna be tagged in future stories, drop me a message :)