#their almost delicate chemistry here compared to later scenes where it feels lived in and developed

[rocknvaughn]

New Colin Morgan Interview with Edge Media Network about Benjamin - UPDATED

I am reblogging this because, after the author was made aware of an error in the posting of his article (if anyone clicked through to read it on the site, there was a whole question and answer that was repeated), the error was corrected and another three questions and answers were added! I am correcting it here, but they were very interesting, so I suggest you read the full article again!

I shall post the link at the bottom, but I wanted to type it out so that non-English speakers could more easily translate it. (This article was listed in their “Gay News” section of the site, hence the focus on the gay roles.)

British Actor Colin Morgan: How the Queerly Idiosyncratic ‘Benjamin’ Spoke to Him

by Frank J. Avelia

In writer-director Simon Amstell’s sweet, idiosyncratic, semi-autobiographical comedy, “Benjamin,” Colin Morgan plays the titular character, an insecure filmmaker trying to resuscitate his waning career (at least it’s waning in his mind) after one major cine-indie success. Benjamin is also doing his best to navigate a new relationship with a young French musician (Phenix Brossard of “Departures”).

Thanks to the truly endearing, multifaceted talents of Morgan, Benjamin feels like an authentic creation--one that most audiences can empathize with. Sure, he’s peculiar, has a legion of self-esteem issues and an almost exasperating need for acceptance as well as an inconvenient talent to self-sabotage the good in his life. But who can’t relate to some or all of that?

“Benjamin” is one of the better queer-themed films to come out in recent years, in large part because it eschews emphasis on the queer nature of the story. Instead, the film is a fascinating character study with Morgan slowly revealing layers and unpacking Benjamin’s emotional baggage.

Morgan is a major talent who has been appearing across mediums in Britain for many years. His London theatre debut was in DBC Pierre’s satire, “Vernon God Little” (2007), followed by the stage adaptation of Pedro Almodovar’s “All About My Mother” (2007), opposite Diana Rigg. Numerous and eclectic stage work followed (right up until the Corona shutdown) including Pedro Miguel Rozo’s “Our Private Life” (2011), where he played a bipolar gay, Jez Butterworth’s dark comedy, “Mojo” (2013), Arthur Miller’s “All My Sons” opposite Sally Field (2019), and Caryl Churchill’s “A Number” (2020), to name a few.

His TV work includes, “Merlin” (playing the wizard himself), “Humans” and most recently, in a very memorable episode of “The Crown”. Onscreen he can be seen in “Testament of Youth”, “Legend” with Tom Hardy, “Snow White and the Huntsman” and Rupert Everett’s take on Oscar Wilde, “The Happy Prince.”

He’s played a host of gay roles in the past on stage, screen and TV.

EDGE recently interviewed the star of “Benjamin” about the new film and his career.

Why Benjamin?

EDGE: What drew you to this project and were you part of its development?

Colin Morgan: It’s always the strength of the script for me on any project and Simon’s script was just so well observed, he managed to combine humor and poignancy in delicate measure and when I first read it I found myself being both tickled and touched. Then reading it again and from “the actor” POV... I knew it would be a real challenge and uncharted territory for me to explore. I auditioned for Simon and we tried it in different ways and then when I was lucky enough for Simon to want me on board, we began to work through the script together, because it was clear that this was going to be a very close working relationship... it was important for the level of trust to be high.

EDGE: I appreciated that this was a queer love story where the character’s queerness wasn’t the main focus. Was that also part of the allure of the project?

CM: I think Benjamin’s sexuality is just quite naturally who he is and therefore that’s a given, we’re on his journey to find meaning and love and there’s certainly a freshness to what Simon has written in not making sexuality the main focus.

Great chemistry

EDGE: Can you speak a but about the process involved in working with Amstell on the character and his journey?

CM: Simon and me worked very closely over a period of weeks, at that time prior to shooting I was doing a theatre project not far from where he lived so I would go to him and rehearse and discuss through the whole script all afternoon before going to do the show that night, so that worked out well. It’s so personal to Simon, and to have had him as my guide and source throughout was fantastic because I could ask him all the questions and he could be the best barometer for the truth of the character; a rare opportunity for an actor and one that was so essential for building Benjamin. But ultimately Simon wanted Benjamin to emerge from somewhere inside me and he gave me so much freedom to do that also.

EDGE: You had great chemistry with Phenix Brossard. Did you get to rehearse?

CM: Phenix is fantastic, Simon and me did chemistry reads with a few different actors who were all very good but Phenix just had an extra something we felt Benjamin would be drawn to. We did a little bit of rehearsal together but because it was a relationship that was trying to find itself there was a lot of room for spontaneity and uncertainty between us, which is what the allure of a new relationship is all about, the excitement and fear.

Liberating process

EDGE: Did your process meld with Amstell’s?

CM: I’ve said this a lot before and it’s true, Simon is one of the best directors I’ve worked with. Everything he created before shooting and then maintained on set was special. We always did improvised versions of most scenes and always the scripted version too. It was such a creative and liberating process. That is exactly the way I love to work. And for a director to maintain that level of bravery, trust and experimental play throughout the whole shoot stands as one of the most rewarding shooting experiences I’ve had.

EDGE: When I spoke with Rupert Everett about “The Happy Prince,” he very proudly boasted about his ensemble. Can you speak about working with Rupert as he balanced wearing a number of creative hats?

CM: Again, this was an extremely rewarding project to work on and quite a similar relationship as with Simon in the respect that Rupert was the writer/director and Oscar Wilde is so personal to him. And then we also had many scenes together in front of the camera, so Rupert and me had a real 3D experience together. It was a long time in the making. I was on board, I think, two years before we actually got shooting so I had a lot of time to work with Rupert and rehearse. He really inspired me, watching him wear all the different creative hats, such a challenging and difficult job/jobs to achieve and he really excelled--plus we just got on very well.

Playing queer roles

EDGE: You haven’t shied away from playing queer roles. Do you think we’re moving closer to a time when a person’s sexual orientation is of little consequence to the stories being told, or should it always matter? Or perhaps we need to continue to evolve as a culture for it to matter less or not at all...

CM: That’s a hard question to answer, I think certainly the shift in people’s attitudes has changed considerably for the better compared to 40 years ago, but there will always be resistance to change and acceptance from individuals and groups whether it be sexuality, religion, race, gender--we’re seeing it every day.

Evolution is, of course, inevitable, but if we can learn from the past as we evolve that would be the ideal. Unfortunately, we rarely do learn, and history repeats itself.

EDGE: You were featured prominently in one of my favorite episodes of the “The Crown” (”Bubbikins”) as the fictional journo John Armstrong. Can you speak a bit about working on the show and with the great Jane Lapotaire?

CM: I had an exceptionally good time working on “The Crown.” Director Benjamin Caron, especially, was so prepared and creative, and made the whole experience so welcoming and inclusive. It was an incredibly happy set, with extremely talented people in every department, and I admired the ethos of the whole production and have no doubt that’s a huge ingredient to its success, along with Peter Morgan’s incredible writing.

I was also a fan of the show, and it was an honor to be part of the third season. And I can’t say enough amazing things about Jane Lapotaire. We talked a lot in between filming, and I relished every moment of that.

EDGE: You’ve done a ton of stage work. Do you have a favorite role you’ve played onstage?

CM: I’ve been so lucky with the theatre work I’ve done, to work with such special directors and work in wonderful theatres in London. I’ve worked at the Old Vic and The Young Vic twice each, and they’re always special to me. Ian Rickson is a liberating director, who I love. It’s hard to pick a favorite, because the roles have all been so different and presented different challenges, but, most recently, doing “A Number,” playing three different characters alongside Roger Allam and directed by Polly Findlay, was a really treasured experience, and I never tired of doing that show, every performance was challenging as it was.

Miss the rehearsal room

EDGE: You were doing “A Number” earlier this year. Did you finish your run before the lockdown/shutdown?

CM: Just about! We had our final performance, and then lockdown happened days later. I feel very sorry for the productions that didn’t get the sense of completion of finishing a run. I mean, finishing a full run leaves you in a kind of post-show void anyway, even though you know it’s coming, so to not know it’s coming and have it severed must be even more of a void.

Memories of performing just months ago seem like such an unattainable thing in this COVID world right now. I can’t tell you how much I’m hoping we get back to some semblance of live performance.

EDGE: What was it like to appear onstage opposite Dame Diana Rigg in “All About My Mother?”

CM: Well, I think “iconic” is an apt word for both the experience of working with Diana and the lady herself. In between scenes backstage we used to talk a lot and we got told off for talking too loudly, so Diana began to teach me sign language and we would spell out words to each other, maybe only getting a couple of sentences to each other before she was due on stage and I had to get into position for my next entrance-- we did a radio play together two years ago and she remembered, she said, “Do you remember A-E-I-O-U?” signing out the letters with her hands.

EDGE: None of us knows the future in terms of the pandemic and when we might return to making theatre. I’m a playwright myself and find it all supremely frustrating but I’m trying to remain hopeful! Where are you right now in terms of the standstill we are in and what the future might hold?

CM: Yes, I’m so worried for theatre. It’s a devastating blow. I’m sure as a playwright, you know that the creative spirit in individuals hasn’t been diminished by this virus. People are creating important art in this crisis but we need the platforms to present it and bring people to some light again out of this really scary period, but it needs to be safe and it’s a worrying time. The virtual theatre approach must be looked at I think. We need to experiment and find new paths at least for the time being. I’m involved in developing some things right now and how we can work on things in both an isolated and collaborative way. It’s entirely counterintuitive to what the family-feel and close bond of a group in a rehearsal room is like-- I miss the rehearsal room so much!-- but we can’t sit still, we must create and we must act.

What’s in a role?

EDGE: Looking back on the great success of “Merlin,” what are your takeaways from that experience?

CM: Some of the most treasured memories of my life will forever be connected to “Merlin,” the cast, crew, production, everyone! The invaluable training of being in front of a camera every day! The chance to inhabit a character and live with him for five seasons! There’s too much to list and words probably won’t do justice anyway, but I’m truly grateful for everything the show gave me.

EDGE: How do you select the roles you play?

CM: I guess they select me in a way. I can’t play a role unless it speaks to me and provokes me in some way, but ultimately it’s the characters that I have a fear about playing, not knowing how I’m going to enter into the process of living them, when I don’t have all the answers it’s a good indicator of a character I must play. If I have all the answers, there’s less scope for exploration and discovery which isn’t as interesting for me.

Link here

[theindifferentdroid]

Bad Moon Rising: Part 9 [Modern!Kylo x Reader]

BMR Masterlist // AO3

A/N: Y’all. Thank you for being patient (or at least not complaining) about this part. In the time since part 8, I’ve bought a house, moved, and started taking a class. I also recently realized it may have taken a little longer to write since it’s double the length of what I usually post. I feel much more confident about the direction of the rest of the story now, so hopefully I won’t have to drag this out too much longer! Enjoy.

Warnings: Death, language, violence

Word count: 3,300+

A buzzing noise woke you, its rhythmic pace standing out from the organic sounds of your morning, like Kylo’s deep breathing or the rustle of the sheets.

You rolled over on your side and grabbed your ringing phone off the side table. You answered in a whisper, not wanting to wake Kylo.

Kylo’s head turned subtly, his eyes landing on your bare back. He was awake; he’d been awake for a while, unable to bring himself to bother you. You deserved the rest.

So, he’d watched you as you slept, admiring more of your features as the sun seeped into the room, uncovering them piece-by-piece. He liked how the sheets rose and fell with each peaceful breath. Or how you reacted, just slightly, when he delicately spun a lock of your hair around his fingertips.

You gently placed your phone on the table, carefully maneuvering back to your spot under the sheets. You didn’t want to get out of bed. Not just yet. Not after the night you had. You sunk your head back into the pillow, the coolness hugging your head like a cloud as your eyes fluttered closed.

"Good morning."

You jumped, the deep voice disturbing the otherwise quiet room.

You rolled over strategically, clinging tightly to the sheets around your chest, suddenly self-conscious. "You’re awake," you stated.

"I’m clearly not as good at this sleeping thing as you are," Kylo teased, eyes closed. He seemed so relaxed. His voice was still gruff and tired.

He remained on his back but turned his head on his pillow to look your way. A sliver of sunlight caught his eyes, the amber burning brightly around his large pupils. You could tell he was smiling by the way his eyes began to crease, but you couldn’t look away to tell for sure.

God, you were in deep.

When he finally looked away, his eyes darted down towards your covered chest. He turned his body to face you, and his hands were on yours before you could react.

"Relax," he whispered.

You looked down and realized you were clinging onto the sheets with white knuckles. You loosened your grip hesitantly, Kylo taking the opportunity to weave his fingers between yours. You felt the scabs on his knuckles beneath your fingertips.

His touch gave you goose bumps, much like it had done last night. Your gut tightened and you held your breath remembering what you had shared. To have been so completely taken, it was much more than you had expected from someone like him.

"I’m sorry about last night."

You sat up quickly, propping up on your elbow. "Woah. What do you mean?"

Your breathing quickened, suddenly anxious. You didn't have much experience to compare it to, but you thought it had all gone so well.

Looking Kylo directly in the eyes, you repeated yourself after he remained silent. "What do you mean?"

You saw the exact moment he realized what he had said. His expression changed. His relaxed face was immediately a flurry of emotion. His eyes grew wide before his brows furrowed deeply. "Shit. No, I didn’t mean –." He sat up hastily. "Fuck."

You followed suit, sitting up – very strategically – aligning yourself next to him, the sheets still pressed against the front of your body, your back exposed.

Kylo was hunched over, though his large frame still dwarfed yours. You ran a soothing hand over his back, taking time to admire the way his muscles made mountains under his skin.

He sighed heavily before speaking again. "It was… you were… great. I meant before that. I’m sorry I came in here beat up. I shouldn’t have let you see that. I shouldn’t have done that to you. I just took it out on you, just because you were there."

The last part was so low you could barely hear him. His head hung low; he was nearly talking into his chest.

"It’s okay," you began.

"No. No, it’s not.” He paused, brooding. “I’ve never had to worry about… explaining myself to anyone. Now I feel – I don’t know. I’m not used to this. To having someone to talk to."

"I’m sorry."

He turned to face you, taking your face in his hands. "No. Don’t be sorry. If it’s anyone’s fault it’s mine for dragging you into this." He placed a kiss on your forehead, and you felt as if you were melting under his touch.

Your cheeks reddened. "Oh. Okay."

"I don’t usually do this, you know. I know it sounds corny, but I just had to say that."

You bit your lips to hide a sheepish smile. He was cute when he was embarrassed and humbled. It looked good on him, but he didn't need to know that.

You noticed how different your chemistry was this morning. Last night – you cringed thinking about it – the two of you were like oil and water. He was hurt and defensive. You were emotional and confused. As awkward as this was, it was a step in the right direction.

This moment was raw. Kylo was incredibly exposed, and he felt it and wanted so much for that to go away, to bottle himself up again, just like he’d done the last five or ten years of his life. He’d forgotten exactly how long he’d been like this. He just wanted to bottle himself up and act like he didn’t care or didn’t feel anything. It was just easier that way.

But you made even the simplest things difficult.

Maybe it was just the fact that he was finally allowing someone – anyone – into his life that was making him feel this way.

There just was something about you.

He jumped slightly when you touched his back again. "I got called into work," you said.

Kylo stood up quickly, taking the opportunity to talk about something other than his current situation. "Well, we better get going then. I’ll take you home."

The car ride was silent, but Kylo held your hand from the second you got in to the moment he pulled up at your apartment. He squeezed your hand tightly just before letting go.

He rolled the window down once you shut the door. "Thanks for the ride," you said, poking your head in the window. "I'll see you later?"

Kylo was silent, only looking over to give you a curt nod before driving off.

You shed your clothes as soon as you walked into your bedroom. You had about thirty minutes before you needed to leave. You cursed work for calling you in - or rather whomever called in sick - desperately wanting more time with Kylo. A guy like him was likely to disappear out of your life like he’d never been a part of it. You didn’t have anything of his; no personal items, no physical evidence to prove he’d even existed, besides his number in your phone. It wouldn’t be hard for him to do if he really wanted to. He’s made other people disappear without a trace; it likely wouldn’t be hard to do to himself. Hell, he’d basically done that for the past few weeks.

You started running the water for your shower and picked up your phone while you waited for the water to get hot. Part of you wanted to text Kylo, just thank him for the ride. Not that you hadn’t just done that a few minutes ago. But there was just something about having him out of your sight that made him seem fleeting, almost temporary. And the way he just drove off did nothing to quell that feeling. Maybe he just needed some alone time.

Steam began to roll over the shower curtain, so you decided to leave Kylo be for now. Showers usually made your thoughts come easier anyway.

But not today. Thoughts were replaced with memories. Vivid ones. It was like a bad movie montage. You’d close your eyes and you’d see Kylo’s bloody face, broken and defeated in an otherwise heavenly scene in the glowing white of the bathroom. But then you’d see the same face, cleaned up, closer, much closer. Just a cheekbone or some hair. Whatever you'd see as his lips were pressed against yours, or your neck, or your body.

You wiped the water from your eyes, trying to snap out of the scenes. Sighing, you got out the shower, drying off and wrapping the towel around yourself. Is this what Kylo felt like, unwilling to leave but terrified to stay?

You tried picturing something in the future, anything with Kylo. With other relationships, you could at least envision introducing them to your family, not that it would ever happen. But what about Kylo? You chuckled darkly, imagining how the conversation would go when they would ask what he did for a living. You then groaned catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. What were you getting yourself into?

"Ren was right to pursue you. You are quite beautiful."

The voice spoke up out of nowhere, seemingly shrouded in the steam. You jumped, your heart suddenly wanting to burst out of your chest. Unmoving, you shifted your gaze from the mirror, pushing your eyes to their limits of their corners. You didn’t need to see him, though. You knew that voice, that upper crust accent. The blurry orange in your peripheral vision only cemented your idea.

You didn’t want to move. Maybe if you stopped moving, he wouldn’t see you anymore, like a wild animal, a predator.

Thinking quickly, you stole a glance down at the counter looking for your phone, but it was nowhere in sight. "Fuck," you whispered.

"You know," Hux continued, staying where he was, for now. "I’m not a creep. This is just… bad timing, I suppose."

"What do you want?" you asked.

He began making his way towards you, but you remained where you were. There was no other way out of your bathroom except the way he came. Maybe if you could just comply, you wouldn’t have any issues.

"What do I want?" Hux laughed. The noise was empty and insincere; it riddled your arms with goose bumps. "It’s actually what I don’t want. Rather, what I don’t need."

He was behind you now, making eye contact with you in the mirror. His blue eyes were cold and empty.

Hux placed his gloved hands on your shoulders. The leather clung to your damp skin uncomfortably. "You."

You hardened your face, biting your lip to contain any emotion. You couldn’t let this guy get to you like he had before.

"You see, you’re quite the distraction for Ren. For example, last night."

Your eyes grew wide for just a second, but enough for Hux to notice. He squeezed your shoulders excitedly. "Ah, see. I knew it. I heard Ren was dangerously sloppy at work last night, and neither of you were home. I drove past his house last night before coming here. I’ve been here since five this morning, you know? I was growing impatient."

Your face began to burn beneath your eyes. Your mouth started pulling down at the corners. As much as it pained you, your eyes stayed locked onto Hux's in the mirror. You didn't want to give him a second of victory.

Ignoring your emotions, Hux continued. "I know you were at his house that night I showed up. It’s why I did it, to be honest. I presumed he had confided in you already. So, I wanted to test the waters, see how he'd react." Hux hummed, smirking at you. "Not well, if you recall. Thought if I could put on a show it would scare you away. But we’re resilient, aren’t we?"

You shifted, unnerved, beneath his grasp. His hands only tightened.

"I'll admit, it was a bit of a misstep on my part. I thought Snoke would appreciate it. Didn’t think Kylo would be so defensive. I certainly didn’t think that would cost me my job. But you can help me get it back."

It was quiet for a moment. The look in his eyes made you sick; he enjoyed this.

You raised your eyebrows, signaling him to continue, sure if you tried to speak you would begin to cry.

"This is what’s going to happen. Either you immediately stop seeing Kylo, or –"

You quickly reached out and grabbed the closest object to you, your hair dryer, and swung it around, hitting the side of Hux’s head. It was just enough to stun him but he quickly recovered, pushing you down. Your torso hit the toilet, the impact rattling your bones before you hit the floor. Hux was still between you and your way out of the bathroom.

Trying to anticipate Hux’s next move, you stood up quickly, figuring you’d be better off anywhere but on the floor. Your back was against the wall, and you were trembling now, your breaths shallow. Your body ached already. A quick thought flashed through your mind that the pain would go away soon; you wouldn’t be alive much longer.

"Or we can finish this now, I suppose," Hux spoke through gritted teeth. His blue eyes were piercing now, full of rage.

He reached out a hand towards you, but you ducked quickly, pushing Hux’s arm away from and running past him. He tripped backwards, nearly falling into the tub, but reached out to grab your wrist before you slipped though his grasp, his leather gloves skidding across your skin.

You only got a few steps away before you froze in your bedroom, the barrel of the gun stopping you in your tracks.

"Get down."

Without thinking, you let your body go limp and fell to the ground.

First, you heard the muffled shot ring out above your head.

Then you heard the clang of the hot brass casing on the floor.

A handful of rapid heartbeats in your ears.

The sound of dead weight hitting the floor just beside your feet.

Somewhere in there, you screamed. Or thought you did.

Your eyes were closed so tightly pain began to radiate through your head. Every time you thought about opening them, you just couldn't, like your mind and body were no longer connected.

The floor gently rumbled beneath you to the sound of footsteps. The noise started by your head, got minimally louder before fading away briefly and stopping altogether. A moment passed and the steps started and grew louder again before ending near your head.

The air around you was disturbed. You could feel someone moving around you; you could hear the rustling of clothes.

Your body finally responded and you opened your eyes, peering through the small slivers of light between your arms around your head.

Boots. Dark jeans. A large frame crouched over long, bent legs.

"Kylo?" you whispered shakily.

"Are you alright?"

Ignoring him, you moved to get up. "Is he -"

Kylo placed a hand against your shoulder, gently keeping you on the ground. "Don't. Don't look. But yeah, he's dead." He paused, processing the information himself. "I checked."

Kylo reached out a hand to help you up. You winced and stayed seated. Your eyes began to burn, the physical pain grounding you in reality. It was finally hitting you.

"Did he hurt you?"

Silent tears began to trickle down your face. You opened you mouth to speak but you didn't know what to say. Didn't want to answer the question, as if confirming what happened would somehow make it worse.

Kylo dropped to a knee in front of you, encasing you in his arms. You closed your eyes and leaned into his shoulder.

"Everything's going to be fine," he whispered into your ear. As he stared over your shoulder at Hux's lifeless body, even he was able to convince himself of this. It wasn’t just some empty promise.

You drew in a long, ragged breath. "Please leave."

Kylo let go of you and held you at an arm's length, staring deep into your eyes, his brows knitted tightly. You had never seen him so concerned before. "What's wrong?"

As you spoke the words, you didn't even feel like they were yours. "I don't want... I can't do this anymore."

He knew what you meant.

Kylo's hands remained on your shoulders while his eyes narrowed. His breathing became deep. You could tell he was trying to control it.

"But I can protect you. I swear."

You closed your eyes, choosing your next words carefully. "If I'm not with you, then I won't be in danger."

Kylo stood up quickly and walked over to the window, running his hands though his hair. "Fuck," he whispered. He couldn't deny you were right. Sure he'd come to your rescue twice now, but he wouldn't have had to if it weren't for him. He sighed heavily. "Get dressed."

You stood up finally, slowly, pulling the towel more tightly around you. "I'm not going anywhere."

Turning to face you, Kylo gestured dramatically behind you. "So you're going to clean up the dead body yourself, then?"

You began to turn your head to look where he was pointing, but quickly decided against it, only barely seeing a muddled mass lying on the ground.

"Just get dressed. I'll bring you back to the hotel. And take care of... this. When I'm done we can talk. Or you can leave. I won’t keep you.”

You huffed and stared at him. He was right; the dead guy in your apartment was a bit of a dilemma.

You walked past Kylo hurriedly to your closet. The silence between you was eerie, like you both realized there wasn't much left to say to each other. Pushing everything out of your mind, you proceeded to get dressed. You only noticed your hands were shaking when you tried to button your jeans.

A shrill ring came from your bedroom, and you poked your head out, barely catching a glimpse of the silhouette on the floor before squeezing your eyes shut. "What's that?"

Kylo walked up to Hux, surveying the scene. "Someone's calling Hux. We should hurry."

You ducked back into the closet to finish getting dressed. Then you remembered. "Oh, I think Hux has my phone," you called to Kylo.

It was silent for a minute until you walked back into your room to see Kylo wiping your phone on his shirt. You couldjust see where the black fabric was a little darker where the phone had been. "Here," he said, holding it out to you.

You reached out to grab it, your eyes wandering to the side of Kylo's body towards the floor.

He quickly put an arm around you and pushed you out the door. "I said don't look!"

"Fine," you retorted. You didn't know why you wanted to look. To confirm he was dead? Or was it like a train wreck, so unreal you needed to see for yourself? You felt your stomach flip at the thought alone; if you went the rest your life without seeing a dead body, it'd be too soon.

Kylo boots echoed down the wooden staircase of your apartment building. Enough time had passed that you figured you could talk. Maybe he'd cooled off by now. And the silence was unnerving.

"How did you know?" you asked. It was vague but Kylo was smart and you truthfully didn't want to talk about it.

"There were guys crawling all over my house. So, I called you to see if anything was off over here. When you didn't answer your phone, I decided to come check on you." He paused, opening the door. "I just had a bad feeling."

Your heart swelled, even though you didn't want it to. He actually did care about you. You moved past him out the door. "Thanks. For -"

A loud bang rang out behind you where Kylo stood. You turned to see what it was, but before you could catch a glimpse, something soft was over your mouth and your arm was pulled forcefully behind your back.

You saw a flash of white before everything went dark.

Part 10