#their at pride holding hands like sickos <3

[comingyourlugubriousness]

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A chibi drawing for Pride! This time including my HC for Idia. I HC him as Demi-Romantic and Pansexual! (These are just my HC's everyone is entitled to their own.)

I also wanna ramble about Idia and his perspective/relationship with love and romance in general.

In the ghost marriage event, we get glimpses into a couple characters' view of romance, what they want from a partner in the future, and just how they view love in a general sense.

Idia's outlook on romance and love is expectantly pretty negative. He claims he doesn't think 'eternal love' exists and looks down upon people who fall in love easily. Claiming that expressing strong emotions is embarrassing and that those feelings are just from "chemicals in your brain". To me, this teenage angst-fueled perspective is just a self-imposed defense mechanism to hide from the REAL issue. That issue is that frankly, Idia doesn't think he can be truly loved. He finds the idea that someone could see him for who he is and know about the things he’s done and still love him, to be an impossibility. And so he projects that outward onto others and his general world view. There’s also another layer that Idia does not think he is deserving of that love and by extension the happiness that comes with it. (Due to his past.)

Being happy is an impossibility for him so, by extension, so is loving someone romantically and being loved in return.

He’s definitely closed himself off in that regard and has come to a gloomy acceptance with it. 

But only for the most part.

 I think there's a part of Idia that really craves that intimate connection with a person. But he’s both too afraid to commit to a person and too self-conscious to show his full self. Plus even if he did fall in and love to commit to a person he would be condemning them to be a part of his cursed family and live that life with him. (Which he would view as the worst-case scenario for the person he loves, being trapped like he is.) So the very act of him loving someone and wanting to be with them is selfish in his eyes.

Overall, I think Idia could only fall in love with someone he makes a deep connection with, so friendship would definitely be the start of the relationship. Honestly, I think falling in love with someone would sneak up on him and he would be so hesitant to go forward with his feelings, even if it was mutual. His partner would have to have a delicate balance of patience and persistence, and maybe even take getting rejected a few times by him, before he gives in and lets himself be happy with this person in the moment. Though he would still always feel like it wasn’t going to last.

But beyond all the gloom and doom Idia wants someone to love him. He wants to have those cheesy date troupes and do all the cliches and be sappy with his partner. He wants to be so cringe about it and not even care because he's in love. And more than anything he just wants…a happy normal relationship. Something so simple as holding hands with his partner on a date seems like an impossibility, a dream, but he wants it…he’d never admit it though…and it won’t happen. So its easier just to say that “true lasting love” isn’t real...

...Right?

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Also Idia's shirt:

And Yume's outfit is based of this artwork!

[holdin-out-for-a-hero]

Creep- FFVII Biggs X Reader Part 3/?

Summary: You get on the bad side of one of Don Corneo’s men and now you have a target on your back.

Warnings: none for this chapter

This was definitely a mistake, you thought. Your anxiety made you toss and turn, but you didn't want to keep him up all night, which, in turn, caused more anxiety. You quietly moved to face away from him, and instead, look at the covered window. Every time you looked over at the window, you remembered the dream. Could it have been a premonition? Could he be just outside the house right now, waiting for the right moment to break in?

"Worrying all night is not going to solve anything," the voice beside you said.

"I know," you sighed, "but I can't seem to stop."

"Come here."

"What?" You turned over to face him. You couldn't have heard him right, because you could've sworn you heard him say-

"Come here." He laid his arm across your pillow, beckoning you closer, "Unless you're not comfortable with this, then we'll just forget about it."

You hesitated. Nothing now or ever had prepared you for this circumstance. Biggs, your team member and the man you had a crush on, was inviting you into his arms. And he was staring at you, waiting for a response.

You hesitantly scooted closer to him, yet still kept some distance. Even though he was initiating it, you didn't want to cross any boundaries or look too eager. Your breath caught in your throat when his arm wrapped around you back, pulling you even closer. You froze under his touch, heart beating out of your chest.

"Are you sure you're ok with this? You're stiff as a board."

"Sorry," you said, letting go of the breath trapped in your lungs, "guess I'm just not used to this."

"To be honest, me neither," he admitted, a small chuckle forming at the end of his words.

"Really?" You wondered aloud, "I wouldn't have expected that."

"What do you mean?"

"I just thought maybe you-" you caught yourself, "Never mind."

"No, I want to hear it."

"There's no appropriate way to phrase it."

"Be blunt with it, then."

"I just always assumed you got a lot of action."

For some reason that made him chuckle, and you could feel the warm vibration of his chest from under you.

"What makes you think that?"

A lot of things made you think that. For example, he was smart, caring, VERY attractive, good with kids, the list could go on and on. But he didn't need to know that. Who ever said he reciprocated your little crush?

"Compared to a lot of guys in the slums, you're a total catch.”

“A catch, huh?” He hummed, you could practically hear the smirk in his words.

“Don’t let it go to your head. Most of the guys around here don't wash their asses."

His low rumble of a laugh resonated under you again; you quite enjoyed the feeling. A small smile formed on your lips as you adjusted to get more comfortable.

"Can I ask you a question?" You asked, to which he hummed in response, "If you're not used to this, then why me? Why now?"

"You looked like you needed some comfort," he began, "I know this whole thing is terrifying to you, it is to me too, but I promise it'll all be alright."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because we're gonna get this situation fixed, and you're never gonna have to deal with that sicko again," his arm around you got tighter, something you noticed, "Anyways, you should try to get some rest."

"You're a good man, Biggs."

"I try."

His presence always seemed to comfort you. But now, knowing that he wasn't going to leave your side during this ordeal, you finally felt some degree of safety. That, along with his warm arms and gentle heartbeat, made falling asleep a whole lot easier the second time around.

————————

You looked up at Biggs' sleeping face, rays of light from the window illuminating his features. With his eyebrows unfurrowed and his jaw not clenched, he looked peaceful for a change. Your head lay on his chest, still processing how you got into this situation.

Sure, you had a crush on him, but that didn't change the fact that you were just friends. Right? Some friends hold each other through the night, Right? Besides, he was just doing it to comfort you. He was a touchy guy, anyway; this was his way of making you feel safe.

There was a knock on the door, and you suddenly remembered why you were at his house in the first place: people were hunting you down.

You looked back up at Biggs' face, just as still as the moment before. He must not have heard it. As much as you wanted to wake him up and then hide behind him like some scared puppy, you fought back the urge.

You could handle this yourself. You were perfectly capable of taking out a group of people if the occasion called for it. You've done it a thousand times with Shinra guards. Besides, you didn't want to drag him into all this. This wasn't his battle. It was best he stayed safe.

You slipped out of his arms, looking back at his face to be sure he didn't stir, which he didn't. Then, you grabbed your gun from the bedside table. With your weapon in hand, you made your way out of the bedroom and towards the door. Your heart pounded in your chest as you tried to stay as silent as possible. If whoever was outside heard you, who knows what they might have done.

There was a peephole on the door that was just a little higher than eye level for you. The urge to wake Biggs up returned as you didn’t want to see who was on the other side of the door, but you shook it away. Too afraid to look out a peephole, how pathetic, you thought. Taking a deep breath and stand on your tiptoes, you glanced out the hole. It was Jessie, thank God. Putting your gun behind your back, you opened the door.

Jessie's eyes went wide as she looked at you up and down. And then you realized: you were wearing some of Biggs’ clothes, answering the door at his house. This didn't look right at all.

"You two finally hooked up?" She asked, a grin forming on her lips.

"No, no, it's not like that!" You said defensively, "Wait, what do you mean 'finally'?"

"What's going on?" Biggs asked, making his way over to the door, his own gun held at his side

"Woah, woah, woah," Jessie put her hands up, "Your secret's safe with me! The gun's a little much, don't ya think?"

Biggs put his gun away, and you ushered her in before anyone could see you.

"So, you have fun last night?" She asked Biggs. He furrowed his eyebrows at her, about to ask what she meant, until he glanced at you and put the pieces together.

"That's not what happened!" He said.

She looked him up and down, eyes settling on a spot on his shirt.

"Then why do you have a drool stain on your chest?" She smirked, pointing it out, "Checkmate."

You covered your face with your hand. Wow, this was embarrassing. To think you drooled all over your crush and your friend had to go point it out to him. She really couldn't let it go, could she?

"I knew something was up last night. I thought you just stuck around the bar to comfort Y/N, but this," she gestured to the both of you "this was not what I had in mind at all."

"That's not what happened last night," he said again.

"Then what did happen?" She asked, folding her arms over her chest and waiting for a response.

"There's people after me, Jessie," you began, "They were at my house last night, so I stayed here."

The mischievous look in her eyes vanished, along with the matching smirk. Her eyes grew wide, staring into yours for any indication that you were making a joke. When your expression didn't change, her lips parted slightly.

"You're kidding," she finally said, looking from you to Biggs, and then back at you again.

"I wish I was," you admitted, "I'm serious, Jessie."

"What the hell happened?" She blurted.

You and Biggs had a seat on the couch and Jessie took a chair as you told her the story from the night before. You made sure to spare no detail, well almost no detail. You used the phrase "almost lost it," like you did with Tifa, to which Biggs corrected you and received another glare.

Jessie listened intently to your retelling of the story, and you could tell her every thought by the look on her face. Being an actress meant she was used to making exaggerated facial expressions, many of which slipped into her day-to-day life. By the end, though, you knew she wasn't happy with you. She stared on a moment more before getting up from the chair, shifting her weight foot to foot. She was either pissed or scared, or maybe both.

"And you didn't tell any of us this?" She began, "We're your friends, Y/N, we could've helped you out!"

"It all happened so fast, I could barely even process-" you tried to BS an excuse, but you were interrupted by Jessie.

"At the bar last night, you could've told us! I promise you, all five of us would've walked you home last night. We could've handled whoever was at your door, given them all a warning not to mess with you again, but we never had that chance because you're too prideful to ask for help! I wish you'd-"

"Could you stop berating her?" Biggs asked.

"You're not blameless here either! You had the chance to tell us and you didn't!"

"I was keeping a promise," he said calm and firm.

Jessie looked from his eyes back to you. A pang of guilt settled in her stomach as she noticed your demeanor had changed: you wouldn't look her in the eye anymore, instead focusing on the floor below you. Though she had a lot more she wanted to say, she held her tongue.

The next few moments were tense, an uncomfortable silence settling over the three of you. Jessie stood behind the chair, turned around with her gaze settled at Bigg's kitchen. It was immaculate, she noticed for a moment, before wringing her hands in thought.

She had originally come to Biggs’ house to check up on him, since he had not come in for the meeting yet. You were next on her list, but she never expected to see the both of you here.

Today’s meeting was important, she remembered. For today’s meeting would dictate whether or not the next phase of their plan would begin. If Barrett gave the go ahead, They would bomb the Sector 5 reactor the next day. If that was the plan, Jessie was going to break into a Shinra warehouse and steal some less volatile explosive material. She didn't want what happened in sector 1 to repeat itself this time around, and more importantly, she didn’t want any more innocent blood on her hands.

That meant she would have to go home first and take her father's Shinra ID. She originally intended to do this with Cloud as her only help; but maybe, just maybe, you and Biggs would be safer topside tonight than in the slums. If the two of you went with her, she would at least know you were safe.

Although she had planned the task to be a romantic adventure with the cute mercenary, she knew should couldn’t leave her friends in any danger. She had decided, then. Friends over hot guys, besides, she could still flirt with him a little while her friends were there. They'd seen her do it before.

"I assume you're going to tell the rest of the team about this," she said, her tone much more controlled this time around.

“I’ve got no other choice,” you replied.

"We should still be cleared for the mission tomorrow, seeing as this issue has nothing to do with it. But I bet you two want to get out of the slums for a little bit, take your mind off of those goons, right?"

"That would be nice," Biggs added.

"I've got an idea, I'll tell you about it after the meeting," she started, giving off one of her notorious smiles, though it didn't reach her eyes this time, "And Y/N, can I have a word with you?" She glanced over to Biggs, "In private?"

"Why private?" He countered, "Its my house."

"Because I'm going to apologize and I don't do that very often, I don't want any witnesses."

"Don't you think I deserve one too?"

"Too bad, you're not getting one."

Biggs rolled his eyes, but got up anyway, walking to his room and closing the door behind him. Upon his exit, Jessie walked over to you, taking Biggs' spot on the couch.

"I shouldn't have been so harsh," she began, placing her hands neatly in her lap, "I didn't mean to go full-Barrett on you,"

You laughed, staring down at your own lap, "You're right though."

"About what?"

"Me being too prideful to ask for help... All my life I thought I was being strong, but maybe that’s not the case.”

Upon hearing this, Jessie put a hand on your shoulder. “It takes a lot of strength to ask for help, y'know," she said, "but things like this are different. Your safety is at risk."

"I know,"

"Besides, if something ever happened to you, me and Tifa would be outnumbered. You wouldn't want avalanche to become a sausage fest, would you?"

You laughed. It was nice to hear her joke around like she usually did, instead of hearing her yell at you. It wasn’t very often that her anger got the best of her, and although her response today was warranted, it still took you by surprise.

"So you two didn't do anything at all last night?" She asked out of the blue, making you freeze in place. You should’ve known she’d ask about it again...

"We may have shared a bed, but that's it!" You whispered, just in case Biggs could hear you from his room. Jessie looked over her shoulder at his door before whispering back.

"What about the drool stain?"

"You just don't give up, do you?" You breathed, "That was all that happened. We were both scared so we, well..."

"Y/N are you too embarrassed to say you cuddled up with him?" When you didn't answer, she let out an exasperated sigh, running a hand though her bangs, "You two are absolutely hopeless."

She stood up from the couch, turning to look back at the bedroom door.

"You can come out now!" She yelled, "Besides, we gotta figure out how to get both of you to Seventh Heaven unspotted."