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#them from a like… impersonal framework but LUST-WISE it feels like dividing by zero. i don’t know. fucking logic puzzle ass shit.’
falinscloaca
·
1 year
Text
cat hacker reintroduces mspec lesbian discourse into my life my brain obliterates itself in ocd-fueled recursive self-argumentation
#‘noones identity lives in a bubble and the self-id of others DOES effect broader culture and cause potential ramifications’
#and
#‘jfc i’m not the center of the god damn universe and REGARDLESS of whatever petty semantic preference i have towards ‘my’ definition that
#doesn’t mean shit for other people + the idea that queer people can be ‘invalidated’ or ‘excluded’ is fucking STUPID that isn’t how queers
#work we aren’t a fucking club we can kick people out of for not doing things ~correctly~’
#can seemingly coexist in my brain but they keep biting each other
#oh and in addendum to the first one ‘my lesbianism is fundamentally disinterested in men as both ID and interest to the point that it has
#can feel (<- FEEL) like active misgendering to imply its definitionally compatible with other conceptions of the word.
#not to mention the whole ‘i can’t even fucking figure out how my sexuality treats bigender people at all. like i’m consciously fine with
#them from a like… impersonal framework but LUST-WISE it feels like dividing by zero. i don’t know. fucking logic puzzle ass shit.’
#ON MY END I’M FUCKING MISGENDERING SOMEONE EITHER WAY ITS. GAH. HELP
#IT MAKES ME FEEL BADLY PROGRAMMED. CAN’T EVEN HANDLE A LITTLE GENDER FUCKERY. INFANT BRAIN.
#you can pry my ID from my cold dead hands and if you imply its bigoted or ~separatist~ in origin i’ll fucking gut you. but also teehee its
#just MY id and you can ID however you want just don’t tell me how to identify sparkle sparkle~<3
#but also my id IS mutually exclusive of yours definitially and WILL cause problems going forward from a clerical & organizational standpoint
#homonym ass queer theory relied on by a fucking spineless little shit who refuses to take a hard stance for what she believes is right OR c
#correct. the spineless coward is me. by homonym i mean the same word and spelling meaning different things to different people to the point
#it might as well not be same word at all
#‘i think my definition of lesbian is objectively better and wish people using other definitions would please stop but ALSO if you think less
#of other people for using other definitions i will beat your skull in with a rock you bitch’ is. what i boil down to.
#‘i think inclus vs exclus language is stupid and not how the lgbt+ community works but going by the logic i don’t like the existence of the
#ID but also literally almost all my bestest friends in the world are inclus on the subject and despite my semantic arguments i don’t disagre
#disagree with them. i still pray every night that i might wake up to a world where my actual opinions are unnecessary and my consciousness k
#knows pure unchallenged peace though’
#while also recognizing that dream of personal peace by way of ignorance of the identity of others is pretty fucking selfish lol
#i keep writing addendums. this can go on forever.
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