#then again ive always had a screw loose & bad ex just rly knocked it out of order lol
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Sometimes i look at statistics for # of ppl who have had suicidal thoughts / etc & I'm just kinda like. "There's No Way it's that low, right?"
Guys I think I have a normalized mindset that might not be entirely healthy
#speculation nation#suicide ment/#NO IT'S NOT HOW IT USED TO BE. im fine for the most part.#but it still feels so normal to me lmao and apparently it is not in any way normal#or at least. shouldnt be.#majority of people apparently never even consider it as an option#meanwhile theres me with my longstanding philosophy of like#'if i lose literally every single person who cares about me then yea im killing myself lol'#BUT it works the other way too where so long as i got ppl who care about me. even just one person. imma keep living#that's what got me outta my teen years and im just keeping going with it#the underlying idea being that if i get to the point where i have lost literally every person who cares about me#i probs have some Pretty Big Problems so the wish would inevitably be there anyways lol#but yea uhhhhh yea. it's much more quiet than it was when i was a teen and thank god for that#it's annoying to deal with lmao#but it's still so normalized in my mind. i can end up muttering some rly concerning shit to myself when im really really mad or frustrated#primarily at work lol. as it goes.#then again ive always had a screw loose & bad ex just rly knocked it out of order lol#patched it up with duct tape and gorilla glue. slaps the top of this hunk of barely functional meat. this babey sure can brain#....in theory lmao#sorry for the dark topic i promise im feeling fine. aside from the muscle soreness and fatigue lol#just saw a post that got me thinking about how weird & skewed my perspective is. And So It Goes.
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