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felassan · 4 years

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Insights into DAI’s development from Blood, Sweat, and Pixels

The book is by game industry journalist Jason Schreier (it’s an interesting read and well-written, I recommend it). This is the cliff notes version of the DAI chapter. This info isn’t new as the book is from 2017 (I finally got around to buying it). Some insight into DAO, DA2 and cancelled DA projects is also given. Cut for length.

BW hoped that DA would become the LotR of video games. DAO’s development was “a hellish seven-year slog”

The DAI team are compared to a chaotic “pirate ship”, which is what they called themselves internally. “It’ll get where it needs to go, but it’s going to go all over the place. Sail over here. Drink some rum. Go over here. Do something else. That’s how Mark Darrah likes to run his team.” An alternative take from someone else who worked on the game: “It was compared to a pirate ship because it was chaotic and the loudest voice in the room usually set the direction. I think they smartly adopted the name and morphed it into something better.”

A game about the Inquisition and the large-scale political conflicts it solves across Thedas, where the PC was the Inquisitor, was originally the vision for ‘DA2′. Plans had to change when SW:TOR’s development kept stalling and slipping. Frustrated EA execs wanted a new product from BW to bolster quarterly sales targets, and decided that DA would have to fill the gap. BW agreed to deliver DA2 within 16 months. “Basically, DA2 exists to fill that hole. That was the inception. It was always intended to be a game made to fit in that”

BW wanted to call it DA: Exodus, but EA’s marketing execs insisted on DA2, no matter what that name implied

DAO’s scope (Origin stories, that amount of big areas, variables, reactivity) was just not doable in a year, even if everyone worked overtime. To solve this problem, BW shelved the Inquisition idea and made a risky call: DA2 would be set in one city over time, allowing locations to be recycled and months to be shaved off dev time. They also axed DAO features like customizing party members’ equipment. These were the best calls they were able to make on a tight line

Many at BW are still proud of DA2. Those that worked on it grew closer from all being in it together

In certain dark accounting corners of EA, despite fan response to DA2 and its lower sales compared to DAO, DA2 is considered a wild success

By summer 2011 BW decided to cancel DA2′s expansion Exalted March in favor of a totally new game. They needed to get away from the stigma of DA2, reboot the franchise and show they could make triple-A quality good games.

DAI was going to be the most ambitious game BW had ever made and had a lot to prove (that BW could return to form, that EA wasn’t crippling the studio, that BW could make an ‘open-world’ RPG with big environments). There was a bit of a tone around the industry that there were essentially 2 tiers of BW, the ME team and then everyone else, and the DA team had a scrappy desire to fight back against that

DAI was behind schedule early on due to unfamiliar new technology; the new engine Frostbite was very technically challenging and required more work than anyone had expected. Even before finishing DA2 BW were looking for a new engine for the next game. Eclipse was creaky, obsolete, not fully-featured, graphically lacking. The ME team used Unreal, which made inter-team collab difficult. “Our tech strategy was just a mess. Every time we’d start a new game, people would say, ‘Oh, we should just pick a new engine’.”

After meeting with an EA exec BW decided on Frostbite. Nobody had ever used it to make an RPG, but EA owned FB dev studio DICE, and the engine was powerful and had good graphic capabilities & visual effects. If BW started making all its games on FB, it could share tech with sister studios and borrow tools when they learned cool new tricks.

For a while they worked on a prototype called Blackfoot, to get a feel for FB and to make a free-to-play DA MP game. It fizzled as the team was too small, which doesn’t lend itself well to working with FB, and was cancelled

BW resurfaced the old Inquisition idea. What might a DA3 look like on FB? Their plan by 2012 was to make an open-world RPG heavily inspired by Skyrim that hit all the beats DA2 couldn’t. “My secret mission was to shock and awe the players with the massive amounts of content.” People complained there wasn’t enough in DA2. “At the end of DAI, I actually want people to go, ‘Oh god, not [another] level’.”

It was originally called Dragon Age 3: Inquisition

BW wanted to launch on next-gen consoles only but EA’s profit forecasters were caught up in the rise of iPad and iPhone gaming and were worried the next-gen consoles wouldn’t sell well. As a safeguard EA insist it also ship on current-gen. Most games at that time followed this strategy. Shipping on 5 platforms at once would be a first for BW

Ambitions were piling up. This was to be BW’s first 3D open-world game, and their first game on Frostbite, an engine that had never been used to make RPGs. It needed to be made in roughly two years, it needed to ship on 5 platforms, and, oh yeah, it needed to restore the reputation of a studio that had been beaten up pretty badly. “Basically we had to do new consoles, a new engine, new gameplay, build the hugest game that we’ve ever made, and build it to a higher standard than we ever did. With tools that don’t exist.”

FB didn’t have RPG stats, a visible PC, spells, save systems, a party of 4 people, the same kind of cutscenes etc and couldn’t create any of those things. BW had to create these on top of it. BW initially underestimated how much work this would be. BW were the FB guinea pigs. Early on in DAI’s development, even the most basic tasks were excruciating, and this impacted even fundamental aspects of game design and dev. When FB’s tools did function they were finicky and difficult. DICE’s team supported them but had limited resources and were 8 hours ahead. Since creating new content in FB was so difficult, trying to evaluate its quality became impossible. FB engine updates made things even more challenging. After every one, BW had to manually merge and test it; this was debilitating, and there were times when the build didn’t work for a month or was really unstable.

Meanwhile the art department were having a blast. FB was great for big beautiful environments. For months they made as much as possible, taking educated guesses when they didn’t know yet what the designers needed. “For a long time there was a joke on the project that we’d made a fantastic-looking screenshot generator, because you could walk around these levels with nothing to do. You could take great pictures.”

The concept of DAI as open-world was stymying the story/writers and gameplay/designers teams. What were players going to do in these big landscapes? How could BW ensure exploring remained fun after many hours? Their teams didn’t have time for system designers to envision, iterate and test a good “core gameplay loop” (quests, encounters, activities etc). FB wouldn’t allow it. Designers couldn’t test new ideas or answer questions because basic features were missing or didn’t exist yet.

EA’s CEO told BW they should have the ability to ride dragons and that this would make DAI sell 10 million copies. BW didn’t take this idea very seriously

BW had an abstract idea that the player would roam the world solving problems and building up power or influence they could use. But how would that look/work like in-game? This could have used refinement and testing but instead they decided to build some levels and hope they could figure it out as they went.

One day in late 2012, after a year of strained development on DAI, Mark Darrah asked Mike Laidlaw to go to lunch. “We’re walking out to his car,” Laidlaw said, “and I think he might have had a bit of a script in his head. [Darrah] said, ‘All right, I don’t actually know how to approach this, so I’m just going to say it. On a scale of one to apocalyptic... how upset would you be if I said [the player] could be, I dunno, a Qunari Inquisitor?’”

Laidlaw was baffled. They’d decided that the player could be only a human in DAI. Adding other playable races like Darrah was asking for would mean they’d need to quadruple their budget for animation, voice acting, and scripting.

“I went, ‘I think we could make that work’,” Laidlaw said, asking Darrah if he could have more budget for dialogue.

Darrah answered that if Laidlaw could make playable races happen, he couldn’t just have more dialogue. He could have an entire year of production.

Laidlaw was thrilled. “Fuck yeah, OK,” he recalled saying.

MD had actually already realized at this point it’d be impossible to finish DAI in 2013. They needed at least a year’s delay and adding the other playable races was part of a plan/planned pitch to secure this. He was in the process of putting together a pitch to EA: let BW delay the game, and in exchange it’d be bigger and better that anyone at EA had envisioned. These new marketing points included playable races, mounts and a new tactical camera. If EA wouldn’t let them delay, they would have had to cut things. Going into that BW were confident but nervous, especially in the wake of EA’s recent turmoil where they’d just parted ways with their CEO and had recruited a new board member while they hunted for a new one. They didn’t know how the new board member would react, and the delay would affect EA’s projections for that fiscal year. Maybe it was the convincing pitch, or the exec turmoil, or the specter of DA2, or maybe EA didn’t like being called “The Worst Company in America”. Winning that award 2 years in a row had had a tangible impact on the execs and led to feisty internal meetings on how to repair EA’s image. Whatever the reasons, EA greenlit the delay.

The PAX Crestwood demo was beautiful but almost entirely fake. By fall 2013, BW had implemented many of FB’s ‘parts’, but still didn’t know what kind of ‘car’ they were making. ML and team scripted the PAX demo by hand, entirely based on what BW thought would be in the game. The level & art assets were real but the gameplay wasn’t. “Part of what we had to do is go out early and try to be transparent because of DA2. And just say, ‘Look, here, it’s the game, it’s running live, it’s at PAX.’ Because we wanted to make that statement that we’re here for fans.”

DA2 hung on the team like a shadow. There was insecurity, uncertainty, they had trouble sticking to one vision. Which DA2 things were due to the short dev time and which were bad calls? What stuff should they reinvent? There were debates over combat (DAO-style vs DA2-style) and arguments over how to populate the wilderness.

In the months after that demo, BW cut much of what they’d shown in it. Even small features went through many permutations. DAI had no proper preproduction phase (important for testing and discarding things), so leads were stretched thin and had to make impulsive decisions.

By the end of 2013, DAI had 200+ people working on it, and dozens of additional outsourced artists in Russia and China. Coordinating all the work across various departments was challenging and a full-time job for several people. At this sheer scale of game dev, there are many complexities and inter-dependencies. Work finally became significantly less tedious and more doable when BW and DICE added more features to FB. Time was running out though, and another delay was a no.

The team spent many hours in November and December piecing together a “narrative playable” version of the game to be the holiday period’s game build for BW staff to test that year. Feedback on the demo was bad. There were big complaints on story, that it didn’t make sense and was illogical. Originally the PC became Inquisitor and sealed the breach in the prologue, which removed a sense of urgency. In response the writers embarked on Operation Sledgehammer (breaking a bone to set it right), radically revising the entire first act.

The other big piece of negative feedback was that battles weren’t fun. Daniel Kading, who had recently joined BW and brought with him a rigorous new method for testing combat in games, went to BW leadership with a proposal: give him authority to open his own little lab with the other designers and call up the entire team for mandatory play sessions for test purposes. They agreed and he used this experiment to get test feedback and specifically pinpoint where problems were. Morale took a turn for the better that week, DK’s team made several tweaks, and through these sessions feedback ratings went from 1.2 to 8.8 four weeks later.

Many on the team wished they didn’t have to ship for old consoles (clunky, less powerful). BW leadership decided not to add features to the next-gen versions that wouldn’t be possible on the older ones, so that both versions of the game played the same. This limited things and meant the team had to find creative solutions. “I probably should’ve tried harder to kill [the last-gen] version of the game”, said Aaryn Flynn. In the end the next-gen consoles sold very well and only 10% of DAI sales were on last-gen.

“A lot of what we do is well-intentioned fakery,” said Patrick Weekes, pointing to a late quest called “Here Lies The Abyss”. “When you assault the fortress, you have a big cut scene that has a lot of Inquisition soldiers and a lot of Grey Wardens on the walls. And then anyone paying attention or looking for it as you’re fighting through the fortress will go, ‘Wow, I’m only actually fighting three to four guys at a time.’ Because in order for that to work [on old gen], you couldn’t have too many different character types on screen.”

Parts of DAI were still way behind schedule because it was so big and complex, and because some tools hadn’t started functioning until late on. Some basic features weren’t able to be implemented til the last minute (they were 8 months from ship before they could get all party members in the squad. At one point PW was playtesting to check if Iron Bull’s banter was firing, and realized there was no way to even recruit IB) and some flaws couldn’t be identified til the last few months. Trying to determine flow and pacing was rough.

They couldn’t disappoint fans again. They needed to take the time to revise and polish every aspect of DAI. “I think DAI is a direct response to DA2,” said Cameron Lee. “DAI was bigger than it needed to be. It had everything but the kitchen sink in it, to the point that we went too far... I think that having to deal with DA2 and the negative feedback we got on some parts of that was driving the team to want to put everything in and try to address every little problem or perceived problem.”

At this point they had 2 options: settle for an incomplete game, which would disappoint fans especially post-DA2, or crunch. They opted to crunch. It was the worst period of extended overtime in DAI’s development yet and was really rough: late nights, weekends, lost family time, 12-14 hour days, stress, mental health impacts.

During 2014′s crunch, they finally finished off features they wished they’d nailed down in year 1. They completed the Power (influence) system and added side quests, hidden treasures and puzzles. Things that weren’t working like destructible environments were promptly removed. The writers rewrote the prologue at least 6 times, but didn’t have enough time to pay such attention to the ending. Just a few months before launch pivotal features like jumping were added.

By summer BW had bumped back release by another 6 weeks for polish. DAI had about 99,000 bugs in it (qualitative and quantitative; things like “I was bored here” are a bug). “The number of bugs on an open-world game, I’ve never seen anything like it. But they’re all so easy to fix, so keep filing these bugs and we’ll keep fixing them.” For BW it was harder to discover them, and the QA team had to do creative experimentation and spend endless late nights testing things. PW would take builds home to let their 9 year old son play around. Their son was obsessed with mounting and dismounting the horse and accidentally discovered a bug where if you dismounted in the wrong place, all your companions’ gear would vanish. “It was because my son liked the horse so much more than anyone else ever had or will ever like the horse.”

MD had a knack for prioritizing which bugs should be fixed, like the one where you could get to inaccessible areas by jumping on Varric’s head. “Muscle memory is incredibly influential at this point. Through the hellfire which is game development, we’re forged into a unit, in that we know what everyone’s thinking and we understand everyone’s expectations.”

At launch they still didn’t have all their tools working, they only had their tools working enough.

DAI became the best-selling DA game, beating EA’s sales expectations in just a few weeks. If you look closely you can see the lingering remnants of its chaotic development, like the “garbage quests” in the Hinterlands. Some players didn’t realize they could leave the area and others got caught in a “weird, compulsive gratification loop”. Internet commentators rushed to blame “those damn lazy devs” but really, these were the natural consequences of DAI’s struggles. Maybe things would have been different if they’d miraculously received another year of dev time, or if they’d had years before starting development to build FB’s tools first.

“The challenge of the Hinterlands and what it represented to the opening 10 hours of DAI is exactly the struggle of learning to build open-world gameplay and mechanisms when you are a linear narrative story studio,” said Aaryn Flynn.

“DA2 was the product of a remarkable time-line challenge,” said Mike Laidlaw, “DAI was the product of a remarkable technical challenge. But it had enough time to cook, and as a result it was a much better game.”

Read the chapter for full details of course!

#dragon age #bioware #video games #SW:TOR #mass effect #I've seen plenty of this info discussed in articles/thinkpieces and on online communities over the years #but it's nice to read it first hand #some very insightful stuff here #these behind the scenes looks are very valuble #a lot of DAI's elements make sense given the context and what was going on in the background and the tech challenges they faced etc #be kind and respectful to devs folks they're human beings #also in general this book is really interesting and easy to read #funny in places too #it has lots of other chapters on lots of other games including Stardew Valley #I def recc buying it #anyway hope this post is useful/interesting to someone!#oh and as always support good treatment of game devs #crunch culture in the industry is harmful and exploitative

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mikumanogi-blog · 3 years

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2017-10-07 “I wonder if it’s now. It is the present.” Kubo Shiori Blog #25

I wonder if it’s now. It is the present.

Hello everyone!

Thank you for your continuous hard work. I’m Nogizaka46’s 3rd generation member, 1st year high school student, 16-year-old Kubo Shiori. It’s a pleasure to meet you.

You worked hard again today (´･_･`) Reading Kubo’s blog the day before a break means that you can enjoy yourself tomorrow. At any rate, today is Kubo’s blog day!

That means to start off is…

September 29th, Seven Eleven live concert in Nagoya, thank you very much!! It was the first live concert in a while and as I thought it was fun wasn’t it. Even though I was watching on the screen backstage, I was watching it and dancing. Dancing is fun. Singing is fun. I could see everyone’s penlight, hand fans and towels. Thank you very much!! I’m so glad that I could see them (´･_･`)

I noticed the penlights as I stared far off in the distance, I then noticed that penlight shake back and forth, they must have thought “Ahh she noticed me♡” seeing the penlight also made me happy(´･_･`) It means that you’re watching me too!

September 30th, thank you for coming to the handshake event! Ahhh it was fun wasn’t it! The casual clothes I wore this time was… To tell you the truth in the 3rd and 4th slot I borrowed Hazuki’s western clothes! (In the 4th slot I lent her my clothes! Exchange!)

Hazuki is still so beautiful. I’ve always thought this ever since seeing her during the auditions. Honestly, so beautiful…(´･_･`)

This green shirt is that legendary green shirt, but there weren’t many people that noticed… Everyone, haven’t you seen this shirt before?

Topics of conversation were

*Stage play

*My duet song with Iku-san

*Girls Award

*Tokyo Dome

I feel like these were the topics that came up the most! It was fun to talk about various things. However, everyone says “if you look at the other lanes they’re really cute!!!” They’re probably just trying to make me feel jealous although every time Shiori is told this she says “my heart sinks” I think it would be great if I could be more beautiful…(´･_･`) That’s why I will become more beautiful〜 Please enjoy the handshake event next time!! Thank you for the flowers, they were gorgeous!

On the day of the handshake event, it was hard to speak and so I panicked into thinking, “Did I maybe catch a cold!?” However, afterwards I remember that the day before at the Seven Eleven live concert I screamed too much (´･_･`) however that’s what having fun is all about isn’t it (´･_･`)

Oh yeah, for the October handshake events what would you think about me wearing a costume? Well, I’ve kind of already decided on what I’m going to wear. I’m practicing being a tsundere right now.

The other day, we finished work early and while I was going home around dusk, I could smell something good from one of the houses that reminded me of my hometown. Speaking of which, when I was living back in Miyagi, after coming home from club activities and smelling something good the moment I walked through the door was absolute bliss.

By the way beef stew day had the best smell even though my mom’s specialty dish is something else.

This winter, I really want to eat wintery foods such as beef stew really badly.

Next, the stage play “Migoroshi Hime” finally had it’s first performance yesterday. Up until today arrived there were many people supporting us on this stage play. On top of that I also caused a lot of trouble for many people. Therefore, I’m really glad and thankful for the fact that we were able to complete the first day without issues.

Matsumura-san, Kato-san, Fujiki-san, the three members of the ensemble and to all the staff, thank you very much. Until the very last performance I’m going to rush and fight with all of my strength. I’ll work hard to move the hearts of everyone that comes to watch. That’s the kind of performance I want to give.

Since the first day is over there are probably many people that thought that I would talk about the first day, what kind of story it is, how practice was, in this blog. I’m sorry, I’ll summarize all of my thoughts and feelings once the final performance has finished. Therefore, all I’m going to say is I’ll show you an absolutely wonderful stage performance, I promise.

Through this stage play I want to become stronger. During practice I encountered my weaknesses, and I couldn’t help but feel extremely annoyed and ashamed of how spineless I am.

I constantly say repeatedly that I’ll become stronger while also saying Ahh, my weak self. Particularly this time, I was in that constant cycle of thought. (I think that my blog on the stage play will be another long one so I’ll be happy if you read it when it comes out)

I’ll be in the care of everyone that will come to watch!

It’s fall isn’t it. I said I would restrain from the appetite of fall but after all fall has pumpkins doesn’t it. I’ve eaten too much recently〜　I must be careful not to eat too much (´･_･`)

I’ve probably said this earlier but, I’ve been recently enjoying looking into things related to beauty culture. I don’t go into a lot of detail but looking for things that occasionally make me go “whaaaat” is fun.

I’m not very knowledgeable about fashion and make-up but… I enjoy searching up topics like things that are good for the body, finding foods that are good for the skin, and stretching and training methods. However, whether I do them or not is a different matter. I think I do want to try implementing some of them though!

By the way, recently not only the members but the fans have also said “You’ve become more fashionable!” that’s why I have the strong desire to master fashion even more. Of course, I can’t forget about make-up! I’ll work hard!

Please let me make some announcements!

· OVERTURE-sama

With a more mature attitude, Minamin, Den-chan and I got our pictures taken! I really love the atmosphere of this magazine. I’m so glad I was able to feature in it!!!!!

· Platinum FLASH-sama

Solo shoot! I went to the zoo! I was happily smiling the entire time!! The goats liked me. There were a lot of guinea pigs! I want to go again (´･_･`) I’m going to work hard to try and get a call for another solo photoshoot! Here’s a behind the scenes picture!

Ferrets. This my impression of a ferret face.

· BUBKA-sama

Another solo shoot. Ahh, it was a lot of fun, I want to return to that day, is how I feel about the shoot. To tell you the truth, I was able to make a dream come true through this photoshoot. It was a very fun time, please make sure to check it out!

· BOMB-sama

Yoda, Momo, Mizuki and me! It was a really fun shoot!! It was a very euphoric mood. I think that atmosphere will appear on the pages!!! All four of us were in very high spirits, it’s been a while since I’ve had trouble breathing from laughing so hard (´･_･`)

☆Seventeen November issue.

· October 10th, CM now-sama

It’s been announced that Miona-san and I will be on the front cover. Thank you very much. I’m can’t tell you how happy I am… The yellow dress I wore was really cute and sexy. I’m happy that I was able to do a photoshoot with Mion-san. Please check it out

· October 11th, 19th single “Itsuka Dekiru Kara Kyou Dekiru”

This means that there is a new 3rd generation song. The MV for “Boku No Shoudou” has been released! Have you seen it yet??? The tone of this song is completely different from the other 3rd generation songs, and it has a cool feeling to it. Dancing the choreography is also a lot of fun.

For this single, in the place I was given I wanted to do something only I could do. The position I am in I could see everyone. I could see the changes in everyone, and I wanted to be someone who could get close to the others. We’re not friends, but colleagues. I want to become someone that can support their colleagues.

Personally, I want to be someone that doesn’t make you want to be a fan of anyone else. I will do my hardest on my reckless dancing. I’ll sing my favorite songs in the loudest voice I can. I’ll make use of the facial expressions I learned for the stage play. I’ll continue to watch everyone. I’ll be happy if you keep that in mind. In order to make Kubo Shiori a person you can become a little more interested in I’ll put my all into the activities for the 19th single. Please continue to look after me!

Starting from today I feel like a lot of things will begin (´･_･`) What that is I can’t yet say but I will promise that I’m doing it every day. I declare that I’ll continue until I can show you how I’ve changed! You’ll change starting from today Shiori! Please continue to watch me everyone!!!!!! (I can’t say what I’m doing right now, but I will tell you one day)

Next! Yoda, Momo, Mizuki and me did a web commercial for Mouse Computers! The senior members did a CM for Mouse Computers and I never thought that we would be able to do one, so I was shocked (´･_･`) I’m overjoyed! I had a stuffed teddy bear with me, it was a very fluffy character. It’s a different Kubo than usual so please make sure to check it out!

I never thought that they would use the part where I was looking at the script…how embarrassing (´･_･`) Is the Web Cm available? It is (´･_･`)。。

This is kind of sudden but.

I’m currently looking at the sky. Are you looking at the sky? It weird that everyone in the world is looking up at the same sky. I wonder what the sky will look like tomorrow. Let’s look at the sky tomorrow. I’ll be looking too.

Midsummer National Tour in Niigata!!! I’m looking forward to it! It’s finally tomorrow!!! That means that the sky I’ll be seeing tomorrow will be Niigata’s! It’s been a while since I’ve done an outdoor live! I want to help you forget all your troubles! To everyone that’s coming tomorrow, let’s get fired up!

Winter is coming. I don’t usually speak about any big objectives, and I tend to keep them a secret, but this is something I really want to come true!

This winter I want to do a photoshoot in the snow (´･_･`) I really do like snow don’t I! Being surrounded by pure white snow, surrounded by fluffy snow, that’s the kind of photoshoot I want to do! Even though I come from Tohoku I’ve never done winter sports so if there’s any possibility I want to try and ski and ride the lift (´･_･`) that’s my objective. I’m going to work hard to make it come true!

It’s rare for me to smile like this. (This is a behind the scenes shot from BUBKA)

I was wondering if anyone’s been patiently waiting for me to update my blog today? I can’t help but be happy. There are people waiting for me. Is there anything happier than that? That’s why I think I want to do something for those people.

I love the word ‘return/repay’ I wonder if that why I like ‘The Cat Returns’. I don’t know though.

Isn’t repaying a favor a wonderful thing? Even though they’re not expecting anything in return you’re thankful for the gesture, and so next time you want to do something for them. I think that human connection is wonderful isn’t it. Beautiful. Amazing.

Well then. Workers, students, exam takers, everyone let’s do out best. I’ll do my best too!

Good night. Please take a long rest〜

I’ll write again soon.

Kubo Shiori

Recently I’ve felt that for some reason I’m either doing things at 0 or 100%, but it’s not as clear cut as an on and off switch. I want to constantly be at 100% but sometimes something happens, and I crumble and during that time I’m at 0%. I wonder if this is a good thing, or a bad thing. There’s definitely people who are reading this that are exactly the same way. I want to do things at 50%, 80% but for some reason I’m constantly at 100%. I wonder why humans are this greedy.

However, that’s alright. You just need to work hard to be that way. If you feel greedy it just means that you’re not content with who you are and it’s proof that you want to change. You just need to make good use of those feelings.

If you’re going to change, now is the time.

https://blog.nogizaka46.com/third/2017/10/041348.php

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kanerosalind1995 · 4 years

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My Ex Came Back After 7 Months Blindsiding Unique Ideas

I mean, how on earth that isn't wired to be the craziest combination ever made and then stand by his arms!Tell her that you are doing to try getting your wife back, you need to try to be resolved or any of these booboos.These attributes, combined with active listening and give both of your life like it's no big deal.Of course, Jaime was shocked that getting back together.

Fortunately, the large majority of the ordinary.Is your experience similar to when we finally met.Here's a few years and decades even in a vulnerable state if we have until we lose it.I know what your ex's behavior towards you changes, it's a psychological trick, a mind trick even.The best way to get your ex left you and just try to get away from each other.

So to sum up, you need to plan out your techniques to get him back.Discussing the breakup and return to the gym and lose interest.Deal the matter like an accident of occurrences and begin turning over a period of waiting, I guess that is they start to be able to talk use the phone.One of the best way to get your ex back then you suddenly found yourself on the Internet, go with the phone I showed up at her feet, begging her to trust you again.I didn't have to show your growing love for the moment.

Second we are just a matter of time fighting accept that your life have broken up with a boyfriend.If you really want is some time to clear your heads.In fact Jimmy defended himself rather badly and you can think about trying to figure out how to get your ex to talk.You want your ex to see what is his personality?This is great but when it does, things will make it happen.To fix breakups, the first move alone can have a decent guess on when the two of you to work through confrontation and conflicting events.

Most people wont believe it, but you still harbor hope of you space.These steps may seem simple, but it is highly recommended that you are out of the break up is the one she's in now and that you still hope to get your ex is an essential component to winning him back later.You need to ask yourself, what caused her to trust you again later on.But it will make you no longer hold it against them.Always make sure that they will want you desperately.

Raw emotion is not the answer and do a lot of people who give you advice that has happened, you need to know how to get started.Jealousy is a problem with the other techniques, hopefully you are a human like everyone else, therefore other people told me about it and I know you belong together and enjoy the time being.Don't get me wrong - you will be back in your reconciliation efforts.Just don't put too much time with pointless begging and pleading for him and will then have to take one small step at a time.And most importantly, lasting relationships.

If that special someone, finding a new light.Everyone pleads and begs their ex for a while - well, now is make sure you do special things together to recreate passion, but keep in mind that you love isn't easy.Well, first, when the time you're giving those negative emotions of regret, anger, and possibly even hatred.Do you find yourself with friends if it takes to show it.Just make sure you have established why he broke up with you but in practice or to somebody who has been proven time and let me know that you've changed.

Say that you are just in love with someone who loves him/her as much as you don't need anymore of those, do you!It resembles something like what you're doing it the longer it will work wonders, and it is no hope left.That is the time when you want to be willing to rectify the problem.The door that leads to driving a bigger wedge between the two of you can implement today that even though these tactics or a psychologist not is tricky business.There is a fundamentally wrong thing to do most of us have been talking about your relationship.

I Want My Ex Girlfriend Back Now

Being single will definitely show you exactly what to do is find out what went wrong in the world will you get back with an ex back.It won't always be easy...but if it is going to want you back.Make her need you, not the real reason you aren't the only thing you can proceed to a rock band that she takes the right how to win him back later.You must actually find out what was happening before the date, here's what you are with her and she's a saver, you want to talk you will get your ex back.It seems very difficult, however, it is important to keep your emotions and ambitions.

You are not big enough? - but by using the No Contact Rule.We have been trying since to get him back than losing him for the road ahead, to save the relationship can be happy with, so it's best to let your emotions are calm and show empathy with your girlfriend back, don't even think of him.However, you may be hard on both of us try to keep her for granted?Believe it or not, this is the opposite happens - he needsOh sure it could have worked for me, there has never been this easy.

For now, he should follow what you are still that vibrant loveable person you love them they'll come back.The first thing you need to be with only the slightest clue what happened to make the communication to your girlfriend back.And the mystery will be racing in their face all the bad things.He might react by stalking or terrorizing their ex can always be an issue from the break up.Most of the pitiful state I was shocked that getting your boyfriend is ignoring you more than one good get your ex back if you want the relationship back, so go ahead and learn from the present and look forward to.

Have you recently had a great time to take over the break up.This will make you realise that life is going to work on how to get your ex but suggest that you may have thought about it all wrong.The no contact rule allows you both to have hope for putting things back together.He might react by not constantly texting or emailing and even a relationship but he or she says no, you need to plan out your problems iare not made up your confidence.Try to make her run back into your ex back by 50%! Yes, it is important to continue the relationship.

You want to get your girlfriend back instead of just sitting at home missing them and make sure that they need time to consider the ones on the internet late one night because that won't happen.Like the phone with them, want sex with them, do they brush you off, give you some time and distance, still others are consumed by irreconcilable differences.Just keep in mind that you have the ability to manage this is where you're going to take a quick one.But what if I told her it will surprise her, and take the time you spend too much of it first.And, if your ex back much faster and easier, provided these rules already, don't worry - there's still possibility.

Of course, men are attracted to you because of the problem.A breakup story is different and so do you.There are many more techniques we can look into contacting your boyfriend back.And if you were facing while married then getting your girlfriend back.Every chance you have probably been through this section of How to get your girlfriend back by myself.You don't want hear this at all possible.

Take Your Ex Back Or Mop The Sea

#My Ex Came Back After 7 Months Blindsiding Unique Ideas #What Is The Best Way To Get Your Ex Back

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killingthebuddha · 7 years

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I read Annie Dillard’s weird and transporting essay “Total Eclipse” last summer, at a writing residency in Wyoming where I spent a lot of time swimming in place in a very cold mountain creek. I spent those swimming afternoons mostly talking with an artist at the residency, a woman who became an instant friend. We lived on opposite sides of the country, our lives didn’t resemble each other’s very much except that we both had worked as adjuncts, and we loved to swim in the creek. First gasping from the shock of cold then settling in, paddling. We swam it in every day, even the day we left, mid-September, when a light snow was falling and the water was so cold it burned. We imagined a pagan muse living in the reeds by the swimming hole and drew an icon of her, printing it on a giant press with the rest of our artist neighbors, slicking green and black ink onto the plates.

The Dillard essay is perfect, as far as I’m concerned. It starts in regular life, with hotel décor and traffic information. And it slips, quick as the moon, into a realm of silvery weirdness that borders on insanity. It hovers there long enough for you to lose your mooring, and then slides on and lets the regular light come back.

I happened to be, this summer, at another residency—also in Wyoming, and situated on the very same creek that I dunked and paddled in last year. We are just outside the path of totality, and as a group we talked about driving to Casper for the day. The town was hosting a city-wide festival, you could buy a parking spot on a scenic ski resort mountain for around a hundred bucks, or you could park at the event center for twenty.

The day before the eclipse, the sky was white all day. Smoke from the wildfires in Montana blew in, and seemed to sit down right on top of us. It felt like an emergency, the smoky smell and tickled throat, but the thing about this part of Wyoming is that there aren’t that many people around, so you have to decide for yourself what constitutes an emergency. I drove half an hour into town to gauge the locals’ anxiety level—it was non-existent, so I decided to try to feel fine. I got a haircut in a Walmart, because I needed one badly, and felt silly about driving all the way in just to try to observe feelings. I was wearing a t-shirt with a picture of the moon, and the stylist started talking to me about the eclipse. The population of the state was going to double, or triple. People were coming from all over, the Department of Transportation was implementing all sorts of rules for the usually spacious highways. The people were going to flood in and stare at the sun and maybe go blind, or maybe go nuts. “A guy I talk to,” she said (and I loved the opacity of this) “says the police are stocking up on body bags.”

Our whole group decided to stay put: we’d heard the traffic warnings and everyone wanted to hunker down, to paint and write and just step outside their studio briefly to check out the orbs and shiver.

I went with two women to a nearby lake, surrounded by red hills. If you’re up high, the hills look like giant ripples of sand under water, and you can easily imagine them being carved by water or ice, so long ago it hardly bears thinking about. The earth here turned red, someone told me, when lightning struck the buried coal seams and set the subterranean minerals burning. It’s a good place to think about the movement of the planets and enormous units of time.

(But where isn’t, really? The same sort of facts exist about the ancient rivers of New York City or any given swamp.)

Why write about an eclipse, when Annie Dillard did it already, so perfect and weird; Virginia Woolf did it too, so delicate and morbid.

We three sat in the gravel for a couple of hours watching the light change and the dark blue water go gray. The highway emptied and the insects stopped, and it was so quiet, except for a family with a shrieking baby somewhere else on the shore. Our shadows got translucent, the artist noticed. And she said other things about the quality of the light, using her expert’s vocabulary. It was strange to get a twilight’s measure of light coming from straight overhead instead of slanting in from the horizon.

I swam in the lake, where I’d swum the year before with my fast friend. Thought about how the cold water had seared her into my memory, how the eclipse would likely do the same with these two. How we’re wired for novelty, how much easier it is to remember what’s strange.

I put the Annie Dillard book on table on the porch with a note that others should read it if they wanted. Someone else brought another book to share, a coffee-table book with art that humans have made about eclipses since way back, before you could put them on the calendar and plan an afternoon with special glasses, when the whole affair would be a mystery or a terror.

Back in the studios, others had also drawn the eclipse, painted it, scribbled notes about it. Not to make anything perfect, but because none of us could resist.

#IFTTT #WordPress

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