#then it evolved into him telling q not to throw up for that same reason of walnut being too porous

[ifievertoldyou]

this is so fucking random but recently i've been thinking about a potential callback to the walnut being too porous thing, since the teleportation rune they had set up will take them to the very same place where that phrase originated all those weeks ago..

[onestowatch]

Aidan Bissett Wants You to Know It’s Okay to Be Alone [Q&A]

Photo: Brooke James

Aidan Bissett’s sunny and effortless disposition contrasts the chaotic ode to classic rock that is his latest track “Dumped.” The introspective and cathartic nature of his latest offering speaks to age-old feelings of heartbreak while doubling as an optimistic reminder that cloudy days cannot last forever.

Releasing soft-spoken tracks followed by headbanging, classic-rock inspired hits, this young artist’s music truly feels alive, shifting and evolving from one release to the next. With a soulful dedication to “music first, lyrics second,” Bissett is steadily creating his own lane defined by a relentless drive for experimentation. We had the chance to talk to Bissett about his creative approach, his latest single, “Dumped,” and plenty more. 

Ones to Watch: So, tell me the story behind “Dumped?”

Aidan Bissett: Wow, that’s a good question. I wish when I wrote it, it came from like, I had just been dumped… Well, okay, I had sort of been dumped. I don’t know how to explain that, but let’s just say I was in a relationship, taking time off, in a sense. When we were writing it, it was me, my friends, Ryan and Sean, and we were writing in a zoom session for like three hours. It was not a good song, and none of the three of us wanted to say it was a bad song. So, we were like, “OK, we are going to go take a break for a little.” 

Then I pulled my guitar off the wall and started messing around, because when I get bored, especially in sessions, I like to try and take my mind off things. I’ll play random chords and sing random lyrics, like ad-lib over them just for fun. So, I started playing like three chords that are all throughout “Dumped,” singing this hook line that—it’s going to sound really weird—“I’m taking dumps all the time.” The guy I was producing it with was like, “OK, gross,” but that actually could be really cool… what if we change it to “I’m getting dumped all the time.” And I was like, “Woah.” That’s kind of how it started and we were on a roll and wrote the whole song in two hours.

And the song does mean a lot to me, because I have actually been dumped, multiple times. It sucks, it’s not a fun feeling, so every time I listen to it, it is kind of an “f you” type of song. Like, “yeah, I got dumped but I’m better off on my own anyway.” I always like that feeling better than wallowing in sadness. So, for anyone who does listen to it, I hope that it helps bring you out of the mourn and into a new light.

In the music video, you are seen reading an “Idiot's Guide To Love.” What was the last book you read?

I do love reading, I’ve always liked reading. I have not, in the past year, read a ton of books, which sucks because I actually do like reading. Well, okay, my senior year of high school I read like 13 books but a lot of them were for school. But they were still good books! I’m in the middle of reading Dune, which is very good so far. So, hopefully, I can finish that before the movie comes out. But yeah, I do like reading… when I have the time to sit down with my ADHD mind.

“Dumped” is a noted sonic transition for you. Can you tell me about how you approach your genre-spanning sound?

I don’t really like putting myself in one genre. I’m in a certain lane in the sense I do indie-pop, I do alternative, but I don't want to do straight pop. I feel like it's such a box, and it’s so limiting. I just love exploring different sounds, so even from the start, I put out “Different,” and then the second song was “Worst Girls Of All Time,” which was a completely different sound than the indie-pop wave that “Different” is. So, me putting out stuff like this after “Communication” is me exploring new sounds. To be honest, the things I like to hear always change, the bands that I’m listening to are always changing, and I take a lot of inspiration from a lot of different bands. I just love trying new things. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t, but it just keeps me on my toes instead of just doing the same formula over and over again.

What are you listening to right now?

That’s a good question, it’s kind of all over the place. There’s this one girl, Remi Wolf, who I’ve been non-stop listening to… I have been listening to her for a minute. When she put out her first EP, I loved it. But now, she’s putting out these new tracks and Solomonophonic, her producer, he’s just incredible and her voice is incredible. They are doing so many things that just aren’t normal in this time of music; it’s just so her own lane. I find that really inspiring in the sense that she’s carving her own path and not following in the line of others.

I feel like I’m always listening to Wallows no matter what. I always have them ready to go. COIN. Role Model’s rolling out new stuff so I’m excited for that, he’s kind of taking a change in his own discography. [The] sounds that he is doing are definitely a lot different from his earlier stuff. This guy, binki. He’s actually opening for Role Model on this tour. Oh my gosh! His music’s insane, so cool. It’s got so many sounds going on, similar to Remi Wolf, there’s so much going on, you’re like ‘wow.. I’ve never heard something like this before.’

For those who don’t know, you write, record and produce your music all by yourself. Can you walk me through your creative process?

Yeah, I’m very musically-driven. Everyone has their own thing, I feel like a lot of artists, like the Olivia Rodrigo types, are lyrically-driven. I’m definitely music first, lyrics second. So, when I sit down to write something I try and get something I latch onto. I’m like, “Oh, this sounds cool. Lyrics could sound cool over this.” Anytime I go into a session or I’m recording by myself, I try to lay down some form of music, and then I’ll freestyle lyrics or freestyle melodies over the top, or pick a melody I like and throw lyrics over that melody. Whether that’s a hook or a verse, that kind of just depends on how I’m feeling. It’s definitely a bit unconventional compared to other artists. I feel like artists are a bit more put together when it comes to writing music just because I’ve only been doing it for like a year-and-a-half. But I have my own process, and it works. Every time I write something I learn something new. I’m excited to see, even a year from now, what my process will be… and even if it's completely different or efficient, who knows?

Tell me about the influence of music in your childhood and the decision for you to be a musician at a young age - you started playing electric guitar very young - what was your household like? Musical family?

My dad wanted the kids in our family, I have two other siblings, to play an instrument for two years during our young adult life. He wanted us to play piano before we got to pick, so we had two years of piano and then we had to pick an instrument. So, my sister went and played two years of piano and didn’t really stick with it afterward. Then, it was my turn and I was like, “Well, I don’t really want to play piano, can I play guitar?” And since I was the only one who asked, who expressed interest in a different instrument, he was like, “Sure.” I started in second grade and I’ve stuck with it the entire time. I took lessons for years, and that’s how I kind of got into the classic rock scene. My dad was a huge classic rock fan so he showed me all greats… and that was all I listened to for years. It definitely had a large impact on what I did. I would even play in little recitals, and I always played classic rock songs like AC/DC or Guns N’ Roses.

It wasn’t necessarily a musical household, like my dad isn’t musical, my mom isn’t musical. The reason he wanted us to play an instrument is because his mom made him play an instrument as a kid, so he was like, “You guys get to do that, too.” But it is true, one of us ended up using it.

What do you want people to take away from “Dumped?”

It’s an amp-up song. I want them to feel energized, to be happy with yourself. Getting hurt in relationships happens all the time, but it's okay to get hurt in a relationship. It’s kind of how you bounce back, and I want this song to be like a bounce back. Like, you hear it and, “Oh! This is me bouncing back! I don’t need to sit and cry anymore, because that’s not fun.” Sitting and crying is okay, everyone’s done it, but there’s a point that you reach, in that break-up phase, when the crying needs to stop and you need to go out and live and be the person that you are, independently. So, I would hope that it inspires you to be your independent, wonderful self again.

Is there anything else you would like to say about your music, or in general, that you want to take the chance now to say?

Well, I’m sitting on a lot of songs. So, I’m excited to get all the rest out, and again, everything is so diverse. All the music is so diverse, I just feel like each song is its own thing, which I really enjoy. I feel that’s really unique to my own music, where you’re getting something new every time. I’m moving to LA. That’s the other thing. So, if anyone sees me in LA, please stop me and say hello!

[eagles-translated]

Q&A answers from creator and producer Stefan H. Lindén!

Here are the answered questions that all you guys sent in to Stefan. I’d like to thank all of you who sent in questions, and I’d also like to thank Stefan for being the one who offered to do a Q&A and taking the time to answer all the fans’ questions. This post got really long (almost 5000 words including your questions haha) so I put a keep reading line on this. Anyway, Stefan’s answers were super interesting to read, so enjoy! 🥅🏒

Thanks for your question. My idea has always been that Ludde was blown away by Felicia and that he really likes her but that they both initially interacted and met to go swimming because Felicia knew it would piss her dad off and Ludde knew that it might throw Elias off, since they were competing for the same position in the team. However after that, they really fell for each other. So he is very interested in her and so is she – however as of now in Season 2, Felicia’s behavior has thrown Ludde off since Felicia is still very angry with him due to Halloween and the reveal at Christmas.

Without telling to much on what’s ahead, the build up of Elias and Amies potential relationship from season 1 does matter and will play a role down the line of the series. But with that said Eagles has always, in my vision for the series been a 4-5 season concept. I did answer the question regarding Amie and Elias below in a longer format – it contains a little more info on the matter.

Will try to avoid potential spoilers but I can confirm that from the beginning of development of the series and the first version of the storyline a triangle drama was at some point intended for season 1 but later removed  – however when creating the characters, Ludvigs skill in music and arts was always there from the beginning so by knowing that, we always knew that interactions would appear between them. When looking back at Season 1, in the first scene by the lockers when Amie tells Felicia who Ludvig is, she does know exactly who he is and she is well aware of that his friend Tobias is a music guy that Amie wants to get to know. Also when looking at it, when I was the same age as Ludvig and Amie I, and I am sure a lot of people can relate to it, fact is that we never really knew if it was love or friendship in the beginning.

Actually my favorite NHL-team is the Boston Bruins and when writing the first version of the pilot episode for the show Boston was my choice of team. Back when I graduated high school my girlfriend, now my wife was an Au-pair outside of Boston so I visited the city for a couple of months. Later when I studied in Los Angeles I had a friend playing hockey in New Hampshire, where me and my wife spend one Christmas and paid regular visits to Boston. So it’s a town that I share a special connection with and that have a hockey team that I really love.

Thanks for your question, hope you watch season 2 soon. In my opinion her storyline is clearer this season than it was in the previous season and since Yandeh Sallah, who plays Amie is such an excellent actress I always wish for more scenes with her but I also do wish for that with all of our main characters – it’s time to fit them all in sometimes because our format is so short.

Bringing Jack in was actually originally not my idea, it came from my writer colleagues after that they revised my storyline notes for Season 2, while I was still down in Oskarshamn shooting Season 1. 

We had always intended for a character to come in and raise the stakes but I never imagined it to be Jack. When we started to develop the character, we all started liking him so he was kept in the story. Like with any new character we never really know who they are and what point of them for coming in is, so to not spoil anything I will let your question be unanswered, sorry. 

But what I can say is that Jack does have a backstory and a character arch that will answer a lot of questions about him and who is, it may not all be explained in Season 2, but hopefully if we get commissioned for a Season 3, you will get to know more about him.

I would say many of the storyline bits are loosely inspired on things/events that were in my surroundings when growing up, mainly I would say that the characters all have bits and pieces from friends or people I knew, but would definitely not say that the main storyline or the characters’ lives are based on my life or me growing up. When we started to work with the series in a writer’s room after having it commissioned and when summarizing the research, the original storyline was revised, updated and changed a lot in terms of drama and conflict. When me, Anton, Michaela, Fanny and season 1 director Amanda all came together we shared a lot of similar stories, experiences and of course some unique stories that were later all kind of built in to our characters and the show’s storyline. Same thing happened when our season 2 director Carl-Petter entered the Writers Room. To summarize I’d say that some things that could definitely be recognized from my teenage years, only that they are a wee bit heightened in order for it to be a good dramaturgy. But it is fun to think that there actually is a combination of people out there, that I knew or know that laid the basic foundation for Ludvig, Felicia, Amie, Elias, Klara, Andreas, Tobbe and the parents. 

I will not spoil anything but let me put it like this and like I said above. Eagles will always have room for more than just one love saga and the things established in season 1 is not something that we will ever just  throw away. However, in the storyline as it evolves some things may take longer than other and some things may happen faster than others. When working with such a short format as 8 or 10x20 minute episodes our job as a creative team has always been having to cut away pieces and push them forward in our story archs – with that said Eagles have according to my vision for the series always been a 4 to 5 season concept. In the Marvel Cinematic Universe it took about 21 films before Cap got Agent Carter – so even if you see things that you unlike that happens now, don’t forget that I and our team always follow our fans’ thoughts and that everything will hopefully make sense in the end. Also saying if everything just happened straight away – it wouldn’t be as exciting to watch. But to give one spoiler, there’s a thought-out path for them down the line, but can’t tell you more than that at the moment.

Thanks for your question and wow, what a tough one to answer. To me it’s a little like answering which one of your children you love the most. I have always been very protective of Ludvig and Felicia and it was quite tough for me to let other creatives come in and have opinions there – but I believe when letting my guard down and having to change a certain way that I had imagined them to be, act and behave, it changed my opinion a lot for the better. 

Having had all these characters in my head for so many years then having actors coming in, claiming them, changing them, making them their own was quite scary for me – however they all kind of blew my mind away which was one of the most amazing feelings I have ever experienced, and that goes for all of them. I feel so fortunate to get to work with such a talented cast and they still blow my mind with their talent every day on set. 

Thanks for your question, have received a few of these questions and answered one with quite a long answer but eventually, yes. It might take a while due to all the things that has happened to the characters with Felicia and Amie and since Elias has developed feelings for Klara – but nothing in Season 1 was for nothing and like said above – there’s a thought-out path for them down the line. 

I have answered the question regarding Amie and Elias and their potential romance and well, we are aware that many of you are rooting for them but we will always try to make choices that effect all of characters in the greater story arch and what in the storylines and the archs that make sense for them for the time being in their lives, in the series. I will not tell what the future plans for the characters are since SVT would probably kill me if I did – but if we get renewed for a season 3 and if we’re lucky enough to get to make a season 4 and that the actors still want to play their characters in the series, our intention will be to have Amie and Elias remain in the show up until the grand finale.

In addition, our plan for all of the characters in the series will always be to have them evolve within themselves and not only in their relationship with or to another character. Love and friendship will be always be the most important themes of Eagles but our goal is to show that no character or person is 1-dimensional being, but rather 3-dimensional and have different sides to their personalities that make them act the way they do.

Thanks for your questions and love that you share potential theories. Unfortunately I cannot reveal what is about to happen and what role they all play or how things evolve – what I can say is that most of your questions and raised concerns will be answered or dealt with in the course of this season and the ones that don’t won’t be forgotten and will eventually come to a resolution or maybe end up in an even bigger conflict. 

The answer to the question in short is, yes, it’s super difficult. 

The reason why it’s difficult is because hockey in real life and hockey in storytelling is a lot different and to me working out the esthetics of the hockey was very important when pitching the show. I come from Oskarshamn myself and have a lot friend who plays or have played ice-hockey growing up – to me the goal was to make them feel like they could recognize themselves in the universe of the hockey and that it would feel real enough – also my goal was that people with a hockey interest would like the hockey action sequences. Meanwhile we also had to make sure that we created a hockey universe on the rink that people who doesn’t like hockey could understand and grasp and that the hockey action sequences would be interesting for someone who doesn’t like hockey as well. So it was quite difficult where to start.

Before even being commissioned I had a long dialogue with one of my good friend and colleague Simon Ekbäck Nordström who is a former hockey player, and had played at junior elite level, who also work as a Technical Director and 1:st AD in the industry, to have him on the show and to build this universe together with him if the show would go into production. When we did and when season 1 director Amanda came in our biggest task was to find a cinematographer who could film on ice. When meeting with Gabriel Mkrttchian who I had worked with before he introduced a camera rig set up called a DJI Ronin that would be able to make us follow players on the ice as Gabriel would be able to skate with them. We tested it, and we loved it! That and an combined research where I and writer Anton met with players between the ages of 15-35, really gave us an understanding of what things in the culture of ice hockey that people had in common and what was more local to Oskarshamn. In the process we even met with former NHL-players, only to understand how Mats would feel having ended a successful career and how it was to leave the sport behind him to move back to Sweden.

After that followed a long work of preparing how to film the scenes in the shortest amount of time and make them as visually astonishing as possible. Simon and Gabriel worked long hours to do maps of plays that the players would do and how we would capture it, also with the account that we had to have images shot when the actors are seen combined with scenes that are done by bodydoubles – believe me it was a puzzle, but a fun one to lay out. When going into season 2 our goal was to take what we had created and expand it, something that both me and Simon feel that we did, especially with the end scene of Episode 5.

This might be a very long answer to your question but yes, its difficult but it’s also extremely fun. Like Simon told me before we shot the hockey scenes for the first season: “Let’s go out and invent the wheel”. In Season 2, we tried to improve that wheel and for a hopeful season 3 we hope to perfect it.

Yes, they do know that, which we tried to portray by having Klara being quite lonely in the start of season 2, she and Amie doesn’t talk, Felicia’s look angry at a nervous Klara when she returns to school – Amie also says after having had food thrown on her by Felicia, and Klara asks if she’s fine: “Are you happy now” as an indicator that this is all Klara’s fault. One might feel that she didn’t get to pay the consequences yet, maybe she will, maybe she won’t – can’t tell what will happen but we as a creative team has always said that Klara wasn’t really the worst person in that specific plot point, Ludvig and Amie, not telling Felicia was a lot worse. With that said Klara could’ve definitely had done it nicer.

Yes, I would say it was. To me it was obvious that having the Kroons separated from each other was inevitable when Elias signed for another team and in order for the story to include all of our main characters and to be able to move forward in our storyline without being stuck in the aftermath of season 1 for to long with so few episodes in a season, we felt that we did needed for some time to pass in order to get story going again.

I think if you went into the writers room of Eagles and asked all of us what really happened in that room we would all have different answers.  I know what happened, but I’m not sure we will ever truly know for sure, unless Ludvig or Amie eventually are open enough to admit to anyone what really happened.

He does and so does Felicia. As we know Felicia doesn’t like Klara, but what we do know is that she hates Ludvig and Amie even more now. Like the old saying goes: Don’t kill the messenger.

Regarding if Klara is going to become a better person. Klara is and has always been thought of to be quite a complex person – when we did our research and met with teenagers during the development of season 1 and when started to develop Klara, me and my colleagues all had known or did know a Klara kind of person. When growing up I knew a lot of people that were kind of like Klara and I didn’t like them but when getting to know them later on in life it always showed out that these people came from carrying quite heavy loads and came from complicated lives – when they grew older some of them changed some of them didn’t. Klara however is a mirror of a person that my goal as creator and that I share with my colleagues, is to be more than what meets the eye. In the end she is, just like everyone around her , trying to find a way to be – she was raised to be a certain way, the way she is and hopefully she will understand that there’s other ways to be, that are nicer and better. But like I said, some learn, some don’t. Some react different to the fear of losing a friend, Klara’s reacted like she did. Some react on being betrayed by throwing food on them – what is right what is wrong is a very individual thing.  The thing is we know why Felicia did embarrass Amie – but we might not know all that we need to know about Klara to fully understand why she is like she is yet.  

Our initial goal was to connect the IG to the show, however a tight budget and regulations from SVT since they’re a public broadcaster has not made it possible for us to do as much as we wanted. Hopefully though as the series evolve, we will be able to connect the two. It would be amazing if that could happen.

Well they all kind of had a great conflict that lead to quite complicated relationships to each other in the end of season 1 and now slowly interactions will start coming to life, some mending will be done and some will wait – but eventually down the line we will have them all together, under whatever circumstances that forces them to be together – but that is a spoiler for a much longer arch.

The answer is there will be scenes with them – they might not be like you all thought they would be – but I can tell you that the story of Amie and Elias in Eagles is far from over.

Well, I have answered most of the questions and there is a plan, maybe sooner, maybe later. Will use a Swedish saying: Den som väntar på något gott, väntar aldrig för länge which means ”The one who waits for something good, does never wait for too long” – I have always rephrased it to say “The one who waits for something good, always wait for too long” and with that said we have not seen the last of Amie and Elias.

Thank you so much for this question. I am very happy you asked about this scene, because to me it’s a very personal scene. In one of the questions above I was asked if there’s anything in the storyline that is inspired by my own time growing up in Oskarshamn and I answered that there are bits and pieces. This is one of those bits and pieces.

To answer your question as clearly as possible before broadening my view on the meaning of the scene I’d like to say that the scene could mean both. To me that’s the beauty of creating stories and having an audience view it - because our intention for a scene does not always have to match the way you as an auditor view or interpret it.

So for the long answer with trivial content for the one who has an extra minute :P.

According to my personal relationship to the scene and what our intention was, I’d say that is connected to her parents' situation. The basic foundation for this scene was actually born outside of the writers room when we had just finished the storyline for Season 2. I was sitting with our Technical Director and 1:st AD, Simon Ekbäck at his home as we started to lay out a possible shooting schedule for the season. Together we imagined the scenes together and tried to envision them in front of our eyes and how they would cut together. I remember shutting my eyes and telling Simon that the episode should end with Leila and Felicia pulling the car aside by the water and that Leila wouldn't be able to hold her tears in anymore - and that Felicia would witness this, try to hold her tears back and then fail at holding it in. The original scene as it had been discussed in the writers room was that they would cry in the car on the driveway, but I felt like they needed to get out of there and that this was a scene needed to take place somewhere else, somewhere more private. When later watching the final scene one could have copied my imagination of how the scene would look and pasted it in - that happens very rarely, that something becomes just like you imagined it. But for this scene it did happen, much thanks to Simon, Kristoffer, Carl-Petter and of course Alva and Charlotta.

My personal attachment to the scene and what it really means doesn’t have directly to do with Felicia being sad over her parents' situation, because it would be too soon for her to truly realize what Leilas decision means. When I was 21, a bit older than Felicia, my parents seperated and I remember talking to my mother alot, watching her crying, having to comfort her and carry her weight and that made me feel very uneasy. When later talking about this with friends and processing it, I was told and have come to the realisation that we as children in the best of worlds should never have to carry the weight of comforting our parents in a divorce - which so many of us are forced to do. This has been a lesson and realization that I’ve taken in as something to carry with me, since I have just become a father myself. 

I mean even if our parents when we’re growing up are looked upon by us, their children as superheroes, they are only human in the end. Growing up makes us realize this and that has always been an important theme of Eagles, to see the true colors of our parents.

Comforting my mother during my parents' separation was tough, because I felt sad as well but had no room to express it - even though that I might have needed it. I was old enough to handle it, but many teenagers are a lot younger than I was, and for many children these situations can be very tough. 

To summarize, the idea of the scene has always been that Felicia is forced to be the comfort to her mother's pain. When her mother shows her vulnerability in front of Felicia Felcia tries to remain strong and hold her tears in - but eventually the situation gets too personal and she can’t, but she tries to hide it from her mom, thus looking the other way, out from the window so that Leila won’t see her crying. 

To me the scene is not meant to be a critique towards parents but rather a depiction of when it happens and is as important for the young and older audience to see and reflect about - because divorces happen all the time, and way to often children are forced to carry their parents when according to me, parents should remain strong and carry the weight for their children instead. 

Long answer to a short question, but yet again thank you for bringing this scene up. I hope you are satisfied with the story of the scene and my view of its meaning.

Thank you so much for all of your questions - hope that my answers will make you happy. Since we’re in the middle of a season it’s hard for me to answer some of them since they would contain spoilers. I also want to thank director Carl-Petter Montell who added a few notes in my answers.

Last but not least I wanna thank Eagles-translated for all the great work that is done in gathering fans for the series - I also wanna thank all of you, fans who follow the series. To me as a creator producer of a series I always say that without you, we as a creative team and we as a series would be nothing. A series without an audience is no series - so thank you again for watching, sharing and caring about our work!

[artificialqueens]

Cruising for a bruising, Part 3 (Branjie) - Q-Tip & TheDane

Authors note: Hi everyone! We’re very sorry about the wait, but here is chapter 3 of Cruising for a bruising finally! Q-tip and I had a lot of fun writing it, and I hope you will all enjoy it! A huge thank you to ArtificialMeggie and VeronicaSanders who beta’d, and please leave some love in the comments!

“I called for help and you didn’t come! What good is dating your hot Canadian butt if you don’t come to my aid like some prince on a white moose!”

—-

They had taken their sweet time, enjoying each other before Vanjie got up. He had quickly ran a wash cloth over his body before throwing it at Brooke who had laughed and cleaned himself up too. Vanjie had been ready to go out again in minutes, speedos discarded and forgotten in favor of a pair of blue shorts that were much more appropriate. However, Brooke still wasn’t done, insisting he had to use the bathroom.

“Brock! Come ooooooon.” Vanjie knew he was whining, but he had never been above acting a fool to get his way. “Why you takin so long?” he asked, a series of rapid knocks on the bathroom door interlacing with his words. “The sun ain’t gonna shine all day.”

“Go on up,” Brooke called back. “I’ll join you in a sec.”

“Why’s the door locked? You taking a shit or something?”

Vanjie could hear the deep belly laugh. Vanjie knew he was often overreacting, but few things got him going like a locked door, and it was even worse if he knew Brooke was on the other side.

“Something like that.”

Vanjie laughed. “Fine! I’ll leave without you, but don’t you go taking too long, I need you to come show me off like the fine fucking catch I am.” Vanjie grabbed his phone, making his way to the door, yelling, “Love ya!” before he closed it behind him.

/

It was truly incredible how Vanjie could switch from being the sexiest little minx to crass and hilarious in the span of minutes.  Brooke chuckled softly to himself as he rubbed sunscreen onto his face in gentle circles, making sure he covered each inch of skin. He had managed not to get burned yet, and there was no way he was risking his streak, even if Vanjie was more impatient than a toddler sometimes.

Brooke went back into the room, ready to do the hardest part of the day. Picking what to wear. Nina had pointed out a few personal faves, and Brooke ended up grabbing the floral shorts that both Nina and the shop assistant had said looked good on him.

Brooke took a look in the mirror. The swim shorts - which he did get a size up, thank you very much - were decorated liberally with various hawaiian flowers. He felt like himself, though a slightly more bougie version. Brooke grabbed a sky blue shirt, not bothering to button it up since it stretched tight across his chest. Nina had called it fashion and said he looked swole .

/

The sun hadn’t always been a friend of Nina’s. However, generous amounts of sunscreen - SPF 50, of course - had allowed him the luxury of basking in the sun while on this cruise. If only he were careful and applied a new layer at regular intervals, he was golden. Literally, which he had every intention of getting.

“This is so unfair.”

Vanjie’s voice never failed to catch Nina’s attention. Brooke was smothering Vanjie in sunscreen, running his broad palms down Vanjie’s arm, and from the whine in Vanjie’s voice, Nina knew this was a prime chance for a story to evolve.

“I thought this would be some sensual shit.” Vanjie fretted, legs bouncing up and down as he shifted impatiently. “You could at least butter me up with some oil instead so I can get my tan on.”

Vanjie was full of golden nuggets, little pieces of information that Nina was carefully putting aside for future use. His podcast thrived on stories of Vanjie’s adventures and crazy theories, and Nina had to thank his excellent memory for allowing him to tuck every word aside, so that he could write it down later. His most listened to episode of the podcast so far had featured Vanjie, his friend agreeing to come on and explain a few of his most popular quotes. Nina’s co-host, Patricia, had been all up in arms, excited and even more bubbly than normal while displaying her sincere disappointment in the fact that Vanjie was not only taken, but also gay, as she had never met a man she had wanted to marry more.

“Just sit still.” Brooke ran his hands across Vanjie’s arms, tongue poking out from between his teeth in concentration. “You’ll burn if you don’t let me put this sunscreen on you. And then I’ll have to put up with your whining.”

“Pfth. Sunscreen. That’s just some marketing mumbo jumbo. I don’t need this just let me go.”

Brooke looked as if someone had just slapped him squarely across the face.

“… Are you saying you don’t believe in sunscreen?”

Nina had rarely seen Brooke look so dumbfounded, Vanjies mouth already running, babbling like a waterfall. “It’s like the florade in the water-

“The what?”

“The florade. You know that mind control shit that the government put in the water. Sunscreen is the same.”

“Do you mean floride?”

“Sssh Brooke, let her finish.” Nina waved her hand at Brooke in an effort to silence him, perching up in her seat.

“I ain’t ever used sunscreen and I’m fine. Rays from space? Who even made that up?”

Nina sat up straight, throwing her legs over the side of her chair in an effort to look closely at Vanjie. “Tell me more, tell me more.”

“Nina don’t-“

“Besides, even if them UN rays are real.”

“UV. It’s UV rays.” If looks could kill, Nina would already have been dead, Brooke shooting daggers at him.

“Even if they are, I’m Latinx! It’s like, the protection is in my blood, you know?” Vanjie held his head high and proud, and Nina could feel her cheeks straining from the insane smile that was plastered there, Vanjie clearly on a tangent. “Everyone be talking about skin cancer, but there ain’t no person in my family who has ever used sunscreen and my Abuela lived to 105!”

Nina had to bite her lip, breathing deep not to fall into a full on crackle. “So, just to be clear. You’re saying you can’t get skin cancer because of your race?”

“I might have to reeducate myself.” Vanjie smiled, his eyes sparkling. “Cause when you say it like that, I usually put my foot in my dang mouth. Damn Nina, you always make me feel like a dumbass.”

“You’re not dumb,” Brooke reassured him, squeezing his biceps teasingly. “You’re just horribly misinformed.”

“You still love me?”

If Nina didn’t know them both so well, she might not have noticed how Vanjie’s face visibly fell before morphing into the mirror image of a relaxed grin. She might also not have noticed how Brooke - the Brooke she had known for so many years, the canadian queen of solitude - pressed the most tender of kisses to the patch between Vanjie’s shoulder blades.

“I’ll always love you.”

/

Ariel licked the side of his ice cream cone, catching a drop of vanilla flavored liquid that was making it’s escape. He had been enjoying the sun when noise from the pool had distracted him. Silky had accidentally fired a beach ball into Detox’s face, the queens quickly breaking up into factions, the water fight of a century starting as everyone got dragged into it, or at least, nearly everyone.

Ariel spotted Brooke near the railing, his sister standing with his phone and taking pictures.

“Look at you.” Ariel smiled, licking his ice cream. “Out here, thotting it up while the world has gone into madness.”

“.. What?” Brooke looked up from his phone, and Ariel realised with delight that Brooke had no idea about the water fight.

“Nothing, I just wasn’t sure you knew what patterns were until now,” Ariel commented, nodding towards Brooke’s shorts.

“Have you not seen my drag?” Brooke huffed, although there was nothing but jest in his voice.

“Do you need help?”

“You’re offering me help?”

“Why not?” Ariel shrugged. “Besides, it’s not like there’s anything more fun to do.” If Ariel played his cards just right, he would secure his entertainment for the rest of the day. Keeping Brooke distracted would mean there was no one who could break up the fight, and if Ariel was lucky, Silky was getting annihilated by the pool as they spoke.“New day, new me.”

/

“Twist your back.”

Brooke had laughed when Ariel had insisted on oiling his chest, but as Brooke looked over his shoulder, he was sure it would look great. Soju had called Brooke’s Instagram thirst central several times, and while Brooke loved it, he couldn’t help but hope that his fans would notice something else this time around.

“Are you sure this is a good look?”

“Trust my vision, big guy.” Ariel smiled, clapping Brooke’s abs before he tucked the string of his shorts into the waistband. “There is a reason I’m an Instagram queen.”

/

“I can’t believe you left my ass hanging!”

“I told you.” Brooke laughed, Vanjie ready to explode like a little cartoon character as they ran down the hall to get to their room. “I was busy.”

“I called for help and you didn’t come! What good is dating your hot Canadian butt if you don’t come to my aid like some prince on a white moose!”

Brooke snorted. Vanjie had acted like he had been forgotten on the battlefield when Brooke had finally returned. From what Brooke had gathered, the entire thing had turned into a major shitshow, Vanjie jumping on Silky’s team the moment Detox had teamed up with Nina and A’keria, the fight quickly migrating from the pool to cover the entire deck. Ariel and Brooke had returned to Silky and Vanjie in a giant fort, built out of sun chairs, while A’keria had just returned from the gift shop with hands full of water balloons. “I was there for Untucked Papi. You can hold your own.

“I nearly died! What if I had died?!”

“I’ve never heard of anyone dying in a water fight.”

“I could have been the first!”

“If you had,” Brooke laughed, grabbing Vanjies arm and pulling him in, spinning them around before he pushed Vanjie against the wall. “I would have mourned you appropriately.”

“Just kiss me you fucking asshole.”

/

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Best idea I ever had.” Vanjie smiled, excitement radiating off him. “It’s gonna look sick.”

“Unless you break your neck.” Brooke smiled back, Vanjie’s good mood almost infectious though the other man had no reason to be as excited as he was. They were stuck in rehearsals, the cruise company wanting every queen to participate in a big finale show at their end destination, and while Brooke wasn’t opposed to it, he was again and again reminded why he prefered to work alone. Brooke and Vanjie had been the last to slip into the room, Raja laughing at them, but thankfully none of the staff had pointed it out. “Just because you saw it on Youtube, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.”

“If I fall and break my neck, Imma come back and haunt your dick so I’m fine either way.”

“Come on then.”

Vanjie ran, bare feet touching the floor, extending his arms, Brooke catching Vanjie’s hands and using the momentum to swing Vanjie over his head, Brooke clicking his elbows into place as Vanjie tried to find his balance, Brooke’s boyfriend doing a handstand above his head, both of their arms stretched. Vanjie flailed a little, his legs not fully up, and Brooke moved forward instantly, counterbalancing Vanjies weight, his neck bend backwards to watch Vanjie, making sure he was safe. Brooke squeezed Vanjie’s hand, pushing up and using the movement to swing Vanjie down on the other side of his body, his boyfriend landing clean on his feet.

“You ok babe?”

“That, was, awesome!!” Not even a foghorn could have competed with Vanjie in that moment, Brooke almost blown backwards. “Again!”

“Again?” Brooke smiled, Vanjie’s pure excitement contagious.

“Yes bitch again!” Vanjie jumped in place, giddy with the fact that the trick has almost worked perfectly. “Wait, let me find my heels! God this is gonna look fucking sick!”

/

“Concentrate please!

Brooke peeked over the top of his book, Lord of the Flies the latest paperback he was working his way through. It had always been a habit of his to have something with him during his ballet career in case there was downtime, an inevitable part of working in a company. Since Drag Race had aired, he had however raced through his bookshelf, every forgotten copy from strange little stores or shitty airport shelves getting picked up and thumbed through to keep him entertained.

Brooke had picked the choreography up almost instantly, the instructor letting him go after two rounds, Brooke nailing the entire thing on the second go. The same couldn’t be said for Cracker or Nina though, who were still struggling through it, Vanjie caught in the background with Silky which was the exact reason Brooke hadn’t left yet and why he was spread out over a shitty bar booth instead of napping or enjoying the sun.

That, and the fact that his fingers were itching to look at his phone, the smallest part of his brain that he couldn’t control fully spiraling over whenever or not his fans had picked up on his new shorts on Instagram.

The fans were terrifyingly intense sometimes - Brooke sure, without the shadow of a doubt, that if he ever needed to be hospitalised he could ask twitter for his blood type, social security number and medical history and receive it within minutes.

“Hi stranger.” Brooke looked up, faintly recognising the voice. It was Justin, the guy from the clothing store, now carrying a case of beer. “Missed me already?”

“Oh absolutely.” Brooke laughed, a short sound coming from him as he sat up straight, Justin putting the case down on the table. “Didn’t realise this was your bar.”

“So, you’re not just a regular guest, huh?” Justin smiled, his white teeth bright in the half dark of the room.

Brooke felt a brief surge of unease. It had been nice chatting to a complete stranger, and Brooke was already mourning the loss of that a little bit, the days on the cruise making him feel like he was an animal at the zoo. “Who told you?”

“Doesn’t take a genius to figure that out when you’re in a closed bar during the day. You’re one of the dancers, right?”

Brooke smiled, quick relief coming to him. “Or maybe I’m just a really enthusiastic alcoholic?”

“That’d be the first alcoholic I’ve seen that reads Lord of the Flies and goes on cruises for fun.” Justin sat down, Brooke moving over to make space. “How do you like it so far?”

“You’ve read it?”

“Of course!” Justin smiled. “Required reading and all that, though I disagree with the idea of human nature being this uncaged animal, just waiting for a chance to get out.”

“I think I’d be pretty uncaged too if I had to survive on badly cooked jungle meat prepared by preteens.”  Brooke thumbed through his copy. “How do you feel about the conch?”

“As a symbol for society?”

“It could appear that way.” Brooke smiled. “But in Hinduism-“

“Wasn’t the story published in like.. 1951?”

“1954, but in Hinduism conches were believed to be able to banish evil. Blow the conch, the kids have to listen, seems like a classic metaphor to me.”

“Because the banishment of evil worked real well for the boys.” Justin smirked.

“Better than a symbol of society.”

“If you insist on being contrary, let me just point out that the fragility of the material could be a metaphor for the weakness of-“

“Structured power!” Brooke laughed, quickly folding down the page in his copy so he could save the note Justin had given him.

“Exactly!” Justin laughed. They continued talking, shooting back and forth, Justin apparently still in college part time where he was finishing up a creative writing degree, their taste in books almost identical. Brooke didn’t even realise he had completely forgotten his phone, he and Justin quickly getting thrown into a rapid discussion on what the story would have turned into with all female characters

/

“It’s so fuckin hot back here.” Vanjie grumbled, fanning himself with his hand. Nina was still struggling, the cocktails he had had in the sun earlier that day affect his already slow ability to pick up a routine. “Can’t believe we gotta be stuck for this shit.” Vanjie was only wearing a loose t-shirt and shorts, the drawstring tightly secured since Brooke’s fingerprints had started to appear after their rut after lunch. Vanjie secretly loved it, his darker skin not picking up marks as easily as Brooke’s, but there was something special about carrying an imprint around, five perfect fingers blossoming on his right hip.

Silky laughed, his best friend sweating like a sinner in church. Cracker was going through it again, the choreographer showing him the steps, and they had the briefest of breaks. Vanjie would have gotten off stage, but he was sure he was caught in some Sisyphus nightmare, the rock he was hurling up a dumb hill Cracker’s two left feet and Nina’s Disney dancing ass.

“Here.” Silky handed Vanjie a bottle of water.

“Nah I’m good.”

“Come on cyst, gotta stay hydrated.” Silky grinned, holding the bottle to Vanjie’s lips.

Vanjie hit the bottle, water almost spraying everywhere. “My hydo- huda- hydaration is fucking fine, besides, I don’t want no sloppy seconds.”

“Oh so you’re a nice girl who only has premium meat?” Silky wiggled his eyebrows, making Vanjie snort.

“Fuck off.” Vanjie laughed. “Brock! Babe, where you at!” Vanjie held his hand above his eyes, blocking out the stage lights, scanning the dark bar. “Can I have a water please?!”.

Normally, Brooke would come running right away, his boyfriend the most caring person Vanjie had ever met from the moment they had stepped off the race, but as he waited one beat and then two, nothing came. Vanjie had expected Brooke to be somewhere, happily reading whatever nerd book he was into right now, but what he saw was something completely and gut wrenchingly different. Vanjie saw Brooke and someone else, a stranger, sitting together in a booth, open beer bottles in hand, Brooke openly, happily and loudly discussing something, the smile on his face so bright he might as well have been looking at the sun.

“Give me that stupid bottle.”

[nflfanpointii]

Embedded in New Orleans: The Ritz, the Rout and the Reason the Saints Are Unstoppable

NEW ORLEANS — “This is the first time in NFL history a play like this has been run from this formation! Ever!” jovial Saints coach Sean Payton called out to his offensive team Saturday night in a second-floor ballroom at the Ritz-Carlton on Canal Street. This was a man in love with his job.

The NFL’s state-of-the-art offense was doing a final walk-through in the Salon II ballroom before facing the Eagles on Sunday in the Superdome. (New Orleans embarrassed Philadelphia, 48-7, the worst loss ever by a defending Super Bowl champion.) Quite a sight, as the players lined up and walked/slow-jogged through the first 15 plays they planned to run. Alvin Kamara, wearing flip-flops, black socks and a red hoodie obscuring much of his face. Brees, in shorts, untied sneakers and a black T-shirt pumping his FNA co-ed flag football league.

Payton, in a blue pullover, playing defense.

Payton called out the name of Sunday’s bizarre play: “Q stop, G snug. Right empty. QB 38 Z Crush Alley.” On cue, Brees joined two wideouts to the left in a bunch formation (three receivers, snug to each other), while jack-of-all-trades-quarterback Taysom Hill joined the same type of bunch formation to the right.

Damndest thing I ever saw: Five linemen up front. Three receivers left, three receivers right.

No quarterback.

As instructed, Brees trailed two bigger wideouts on the left side of the formation. The coaches lined up as Eagle defensive players.

“I got Drew!” Payton said, crouching a bit across from the left bunch, like a press corner. “And don’t screw up the cadence, Taysom!”

The 11 offensive guys got set, and at the last minute, Hill motioned left to a shotgun position and called out the signals. Center Max Unger snapped it to him, and Hill powered right in a slow jog behind a slew of blockers. The play would be a power run, and it would fit into exactly what Payton told his players in this meeting: “Our emphasis in this game is to run at 22 [cornerback Sidney Jones]. He’s coming off a hamstring, and we don’t think he can hold up.”

No fooling around. All business, even on this weird play. Strange seeing football players practice at 30-percent speed in hoodies and jeans and whatever, with coaches playing Fletcher Cox and Malcolm Jenkins. After 15 minutes, each play run the same way, Payton said, “Let’s break it down,” and they gathered in a circle, said something I couldn’t understand, and the players went to team snack. (More than a snack, actually; it was a full-blown buffet meal.)

In the wide hallway outside Salon II, I asked Payton: “How’d you think of the double-bunch play?”

“Thursday night,” Payton said. “Just doodling. Just thinking. I just thought of it, and I said to the coaches, ‘Will this work?’ And [quarterbacks coach] Joe Lombardi said, ‘Why not? We can do anything we want.’ When I told Troy Aikman about it [in the FOX production meeting], he said, ‘Who’s getting the snap?’ I said, ‘No one. Yet.’ “

Payton thought for a minute, giving a John Nash look into the distance. “Part of it, really, is thinking of something that they [the Eagles] haven’t seen. That’s the job of a game-planner. You want eight heads to turn to [smart Eagles veteran safety] Malcolm Jenkins and be like, ‘What do we do?’ “

Payton took my notebook and drew out the formation. He said sometime later in the game, they’d reverse the call. It’d be Brees who’d go behind center at the last second and take a snap. Only this time it wouldn’t be a power run. Brees would throw it—maybe a quick stop route to the left, or a post from a receiver in the right bunch.

By that time, the players had all relocated to the ballroom with the food. Except for one player. That player was playing a grand piano—and playing it very, very well.

We looked over, and I asked Payton who it was.

“Austin Carr,” Payton said. “Wide receiver. President of his class at Northwestern. He’ll be the president of the United States when he retires.”

Carr played for a while, beautifully. I went over to ask him about playing.

“Just relieving some tension,” said Carr, talking while his fingers moved over the keys. He said he loves the music of John Legend. This music is what you’d hear from someone coming out of Juilliard.

“The song’s beautiful,” I said. “What’s it called?”

“I haven’t named it yet,” he said.

Lots of composers in this Saints group.

This is what I learned about the best offense in this offensively explosive period of football: It’s a more democratic group than I thought. This isn’t an autocratic Payton dictating plays. Drew Brees has a ton of input in plays he wants to run. Brees’ historically accurate season (he’s a 67-percent career passer, completing 77 percent this year) has a lot to do with his symbiotic relationship with Payton, and with both of them knowing what works best for an offense that’s quite complex. But it’s an offense they’ve nurtured and expanded since both came to the Saints in 2006. As Carr told me: “I can attest to the democratic process here. There’s an ethos of leaving your ego at the door. Lots of teams say that, but you don’t always see it. Sean’s OK when Drew says, ‘I don’t want to do that,’ and same with Drew about Sean. They’ve found the sweet spot in dealing with each other.”

I saw that in the final meeting of the night. More about that later.

First, let me explain what the night is like. It has six segments: a short all-coaches meeting, maybe 10 minutes; a 20-minute discussion about the first 15 plays Payton intends to call; a very short (maybe five to 10 minutes) all-team meeting, with a message mainly from Payton; the walk-through with the offense; the all-team snack (and, on this night, piano-playing); and finally, a meeting of about 40 minutes with Brees telling Payton, offensive coordinator Pete Carmichael and Lombardi what he likes and doesn’t like in the game plan.

The all-coaches meeting has a discussion of injuries and who will be active and inactive, and a message from Payton. Two things tonight: “We gotta run right at 22 [Jones] and we gotta throw at 22. We’re gonna make him defend the run on the first play. We’re going after him on three of the first eight plays.”

And then, a bit of a surprise. “We want to put the game on [Eagles quarterback Carson] Wentz,” Payton said. Payton likes Wentz as a player, but his player-personnel analyst, Ryan Herman, gives him trends and numbers every week, and Payton tells the group two interesting ones about Wentz, from Herman: The Eagles are 1-11 when Wentz plays and they allow more than 26 points. And he’s 0-9 when he passes for between 308 and 364 yards, the point being if he does that, the Eagles likely won’t be running the ball well, and the Saints feel they can beat a one-dimensional offense.

Then the defensive coaches left to work on their own, and the offensive coaches work on the opening plays. On the screen, Payton’s opening plays come up … and the double-bunch is number five. Clearly, it’s going to be called early in the game. Payton wants to see the big-bodied Hill steaming around right end at number 22. (He never calls him “Sidney Jones.” Just “22.”) For a stranger who doesn’t know the Saints’ vernacular, listening to the discussion of each play is like listening to Dutch. One of the reasons Payton isn’t paranoid about me sitting in, I’m sure, is that when I hear, “Snug left, Y fly, P 35 Stab dog F rail,” I’m not going to know what it means—and that’s just the way they like it.

“Ball security in this game is everything,” Payton said. “They’ve got a great front. They’ll come after us. They have to win this game. Let’s go win another one.

“Because it’s the next one.”

Then the short team meeting with the message, again, about 22. Then the defensive players leave to move next door to have their own meeting. Then everyone in the room, coaches and offensive players, pick up the conference-room chairs and stack them by either side of the room, to make room for the walk-through. This walk-through is a test, to see if every player can remember his job on every play (and for 15 straight plays, there are no mental errors, only the warning from Payton to Hill about his cadence).

One interesting thing: Players are drilled in the precision of spacing, and who is on the line and who is off a step. So several times, Michael Thomas lined up wide left, on the line, and almost reflexively waved his hand to the receiver to his left, as if to say, ‘Get a step back.’ One of the coaches told me the receivers take care of each other like that.

Then the snack. In the big room with stations scattered throughout, Payton gets spaghetti and explains the week and the importance of continuing to mine information. “This year, because of Taysom’s development, we talk a lot during the week about how to use Taysom,’’ he said, digging into what for him is dinner, not a snack. “But we meet late most nights during the week. I want to go over everything. I want to see it, write it, feel it, discuss it. Last night, I put on the Football Life with Mike Holmgren. He used to be a third-grade teacher, and I think that’s great training for what we do. We gotta put a plan together with who is in the building—not with who we wish was in the building. We gotta evolve with who we have.”

R and D is big in the job. “I look at the league a lot,” Payton said. “I look at all the scoring plays every week. I look at [Bill] Belichick and New England. I look at Sean McVay. I found a good one last night. I hadn’t watched all of New England’s offensive plays in the Super Bowl against Philadelphia in a while, and so last night, I put the tape on and I found something. Gronk [tight end Rob Gronkowski] caught a ball inside the 10 and scored, but it’s how he caught it. It was like catching an inbounds pass, using your body to keep the defender off you. That’s perfect for us. I told Mike Thomas, ‘This is a touchdown.’ We practiced it today. I think we’ll use it.”

By 9:55, Brees and his coaches sit back in LaSalle, and now it’s Brees’ turn to weigh in on the game plan. Payton has approximately 18 sections of the game plan: play-action, screens, quarterback-movement plays, empty-backfield, two-minute, and more. All the men in the room have a copy of the play sheet. Payton asks Brees, for instance, “Red zone, 20 to the 11, what do you got?” In other words, “What do you want me to call?” To each section, Brees said between one and six plays. In this section, for instance, he said six plays. Payton, using a black Sharpie, placed a dot on each play Brees liked and wanted called.

And it was the way Brees said the plays. Deliberately, with reasoning when need be. Like: “22 paint Y shock, X Harvey.” Four or five seconds to look at the next play and envision it. Then onto the others. “52 Z Hank.” And more.

In the tight Red Zone category (5-yard line to the 3) Payton asked Brees, “How are you with Bloodhound 21?” Good, Brees said. Payton liked this—it was a way to take advantage of a young and inexperienced secondary, calling the play quickly and using fast tempo to rush to the line while the defense might be swimming.

At 10:37, Brees was done with his recommendations. There’d been, by my count, 46 of them. One would pay dividends early in Sunday’s game.

After the meeting, Payton and Brees sat with me to discuss imagination and their bond. “The evolution from where we were, call it 13 years ago, when we all first got here in ’06 to now, is pretty amazing” Brees said. “It’s an exciting process. It’s a bit nerve-wracking early in the week I think because you’re sitting there watching film after film and you’re trying to identify all the ways that you can attack that defense, right? I think some of our best ideas at times come on a Saturday or Saturday night, or even Sunday morning.”

Said Payton: “This week, it started with me drawing it on the board saying, what if we just lined up with no quarterback and one of the two of them came back depending on the play. Part of the install sometimes is to have some fun and have some levity with something like that. The first day we’re doing it in walk through. Max [Unger, the center] turns around. There’s no one to snap to. Drew and Taysom are kinda looking at each other like, is it me? Or is it you? And—

Brees interrupted: “Rock, paper, scissors.”

There’s Brees, finishing Payton’s sentence.

[joycemerces]

Excerpt ~ Top Secret by Sarina Bowen and Elle Kennedy

Bestselling authors Sarina Bowen & Elle Kennedy return with their first Male / Male romance in 3 years.

LobsterShorts, 21

Jock. Secretly a science geek. Hot AF.

  LobsterShorts: So. Here goes. For her birthday, my girlfriend wants…a threesome.

 SinnerThree: Then you’ve come to the right hookup app.

 LobsterShorts: Have you done this sort of thing before? With another guy?

 SinnerThree: All the time. I’m an equal opportunity player. You?

 LobsterShorts: [crickets!] 

  SinnerThree, 21

Finance major. Secretly a male dancer. Hot AF. 

SinnerThree: Well, I’m down if you are. My life is kind of a mess right now. School, work, family stress. Oh, and I live next door to the most annoying dude in the world. I need the distraction. Are you sure you want this?

LobsterShorts: I might want it a little more than I’m willing to admit.

SinnerThree: Hey, nothing wrong with pushing your boundaries…

LobsterShorts: Tell that to my control-freak father. Anyway. What if this threesome is awkward?

SinnerThree: Then it’s awkward. It’s not like we’ll ever have to see each other again. Right? Just promise you won’t fall in love with me.

LobsterShorts: Now wouldn’t that be life-changing…

Q&A about Top Secret:

Q: Have we met these characters before in another book?

A: No! These guys are brand new, and we can’t wait for you to meet them.

Q: Is this story MM? Or is it a MMF / MFM / menage?

A: This book is MM.

Q: Is this a love triangle story?

A: Not really. You’ll see.

  Goodreads: https://geni.us/TopSecretGoodreads 

Apple: https://geni.us/TopSecretApple 

Kobo: https://geni.us/TopSecretKobo 

Nook: https://geni.us/TopSecretNook 

TOP SECRET by Sarina Bowen & Elle Kennedy

Chapter One

Keaton

“Look,” Annika whispers in my ear. Under the table, her small hand squeezes my thigh, while her cheek gently nudges my chin toward the doorway. “He’s cute.”

“Subtle,” I tease before giving the object of her attention a cursory glance. He’s just a tall guy with brown hair, nothing special as far as I can tell. “How about we save this conversation for later?”

She rolls her eyes. “We both know there won’t be a conversation, Keaton. You like playing along, but you won’t actually go through with it.” This time she forgets to lower her voice.

“Go through with what?” one of my frat brothers asks from across the table. Tanner, Judd, and I had popped into the campus Starbucks for a caffeine fix after practice. Annika’s next class is directly across the street, so she’d come to say hi before class.

“Nothing,” I tell Tanner.

If you can call your girlfriend wanting a threesome with another dude “nothing.”

Yup, my girlfriend wants a threesome. And here I’d thought that, after six years together, Annika couldn’t surprise me anymore.

She and I have been inseparable since junior year of high school. I know every last detail about her, from her food preferences to her pet peeves. I know she gets anxiety in long lines, that she sneezes any time she gets a whiff of cinnamon, that she loves the beach but hates skiing.

What I didn’t know was that my girlfriend fantasizes about threesomes. The first time she brought it up, I thought she was kidding around. Annika Schiffer, heiress to a home-furnishings fortune, wants to bang two guys at the same time? Yeah right.

My girl is the president of her sorority, wears a pearl necklace (and not the fun kind) on a daily basis, and made me wait until we were eighteen to lose our virginities to each other. Don’t get me wrong—she’s not some uptight rich bitch with a stick up her butt. She’s fun and warm and fierce when someone tries to mess with her or her loved ones.

But she’s also… I’ll just say it: vanilla.

I didn’t think she was serious about the threesome thing until last week, when I’d asked her what she wanted for her birthday and she brought up the idea again.

I move my lips to her ear so Tanner and Judd can’t overhear. “Don’t you worry, babe, there’ll be more than just a conversation,” I rasp.

She shivers, and then flashes me a dazzling smile. Her face is flawless. Classic features, pouty lips, and smooth skin that’s just the right amount of dewy. She works hard and spends a lot of money for that skin. I’ve been in her bathroom at the sorority house, so I’ve seen all the products she puts on her face to keep it looking so perfect. Not to mention the monthly facials, which require her to fly to New York every month because this little college town we live in doesn’t have a “competent aesthetician”—her words, not mine.

It helps that her father owns a helicopter that can accommodate her monthly treks. I’m not one to judge, though. My dad has his own jet.

“I can’t wait,” she says before hopping off my lap. “Come over tonight after practice, okay, baby? I have to go to class now.”

“I’ll see you later.”

“Bye, boys.” Annika’s hand flutters in a wave on her way to the door.

“Later!” Tanner calls after her. And if I’m not mistaken, he takes a longing look at her ass.

“Dude,” I say. “If you’re going to eye-fuck my girlfriend, you could at least be subtle about it.”

“Why?” Tanner argues. “She’d be flattered. And you should know how good you’ve got it. Besides, I’m harmless.” He flashes me a big smile. “What are we doing this weekend, anyway?” Tanner asks. “The Presidential Dance-off, right?”

I shake my head. “That’s, like, in two weeks, man.”

“Really? Why did I think it was sooner?”

“Because you’re stupid,” Judd offers helpfully.

Tanner gives him the finger, before turning back to me. “Do you know what you’re doing for yours yet?”

I have no clue. And no, dancing isn’t an actual requirement for our fraternity’s presidential race. But it used to be. A few decades ago, the candidates running for frat president decided a dance-off was the only way to decide who was more fit to lead. Hence, the Presidential Dance-off was born. On our living room walls, there are old photos of well-dressed men with slicked-back hair and girls in poodle skirts on their arms.

My fraternity has long-held traditions that began well before the invention of the red Solo cup. But these days, Alpha Delta has evolved. Or devolved, depending who you ask. Instead of perfecting his twist and his mashed potato, the presidential candidate is expected to dazzle the other members by planning a kickass event. I’m talking epic. Monumental. The kind of party that will be remembered for years to come.

Although, like dance moves, I’m not entirely sure that party planning is a solid indicator of what makes a good president. Sure, frats throw a lot of parties, but there’s a social committee for that.

The role of president is actually pretty lame, according to Reedsy, our current prez. He pulled me aside after I threw my name in the race and admitted that it’s a boring gig and that I should reconsider. “So much fucking responsibility on your shoulders, dude,” he’d bemoaned.

For a moment, I’d almost bailed. To be honest, I’m only running because my dad was president of Alpha Delt in his heyday, and my granddad before him. But that’s also the reason I couldn’t bail. My father would lose his shit if the Hayworth legacy ended with me.

So I have ten days to plan a legendary party.

“Maybe I can just hire an event planner?” I suggest.

“No way.” Judd’s response is immediate. “If that fuckhead Bailey finds out, he’ll have you impeached.”

“You can’t impeach someone until he’s elected,” Tanner points out.

Still, I don’t want to be accused of cheating. What a pain in the ass this whole thing is. “We can brainstorm about this on Sunday night. We have a game to win on Saturday.”

“Oh, we’re going to win,” Tanner promises.

But I’m not so sure. Not only am I worried about the Northern Mass offense, I think my father is driving up for the game. So winning isn’t even enough. If the Northern Mass players aren’t crying into their helmets after the fourth quarter, my father will still give me hell at brunch the next day.

And here I thought weekends were meant to be relaxing.

“Fine,” Judd says. “We’ll talk about your campaign after the other meeting on Sunday night.”

“What other meeting?” I search my brain and come up empty.

“Pledge Committee,” he says, gulping the last of his coffee.

Oh, phew. “I don’t have to go to that one. I’m not on PC this year.”

“But I sent you that email?” Judd whines. “I told you I need you there. Initiation night is coming up and my committee is lame.”

“Who’s on it, anyway? What do you have planned?” Note to self: be conveniently unavailable on Sunday night. There is no way I’m sitting on the Pledge Committee again. Dealing with last year’s pledge class was a total pain in the ass.

“There’s Ahmad, who’s smart but boring. Paul, who’s just boring. Owen, who’s fun but not exactly creative. And Paxton, who’s just a tool.” He sighs. “Whatever. At least Bailey isn’t on it this time. Remember what a buzz kill he was last year? I fucking hate that guy.”

No big secret there. Judd’s had it in for Luke Bailey ever since the guy rushed Alpha Delt sophomore year. And say what you will about Judd, but he’s not an asshole unless he feels you’ve given him a reason. He’s a bro to the core—he believes in male bonding, high fives, and, in his mind, a friendship isn’t official unless you’ve bled together, partied together, and nursed your twin hangovers the morning after.

Luke Bailey doesn’t subscribe to this philosophy. The moment he scoffed at Judd’s attempt at a fist bump, he earned himself an enemy in Judd Keller.

Since then, their tumultuous acquaintanceship has only gotten worse. Luke is a cocky ass when he wants to be, and Judd hates feeling like he’s being mocked or judged.

Oh, and then Bailey banged Judd’s ex. So there’s that.

“You exert too much mental energy on that guy,” Tanner informs Judd. Tanner’s a psych major, so he’s constantly dishing out (pretty good) advice that everyone mostly ignores. “Holding onto anger isn’t conducive to robust mental health.”

“First of all, say the word robust one more time and I’ll clock you. You know how I feel about that, bro.” Indignation flashes in Judd eyes. “And second of all, Luke Bailey screwed my girlfriend! I’m never not gonna be angry at that prick.”

“Ex-girlfriend,” I hedge, but it earns me a deep scowl from Judd. The two of us are teammates, and I do feel loyalty to him, but I’m also not afraid to call it like it is. “You and Therese were broken up for months.”

“Me and Therese are never broken up. Sure, we take short breaks, a hiatus or two. But she’s my girl,” Judd says tightly. “Everybody knows that.”

“Bailey says he didn’t,” Tanner says.

“That’s bullshit. He’s a liar. And now he’s trying to screw K over!” Judd growls. “He joined the presidential race to get back at me. I just know it.”

“You think?” Tanner looks skeptical. “Because that would be sociopathic lengths to go to just to spite you.”

“Yeah,” I agree with a chuckle. “Bailey’s a prick, but I can’t see him taking on the huge responsibility of running a fraternity just to flip you the metaphorical bird.” Although if I’m being honest, I don’t know why Luke Bailey is running for prez. The guy hasn’t shown much interest in frat activities since he joined us.

“He totally would,” Judd argues.

“Hey, we got class now,” Tanner reminds our sulking buddy. “We should book it over there.”

“Fine.” Judd scrapes his chair back and gets to his feet. His cloudy gaze meets mine again. “I’m serious, man. Bailey is bad news, and we need to kick his ass in this campaign. There’s no way I’m letting him be our president.”

“Don’t worry. He won’t be.”

Once my friends are gone, I let out a tired sigh. I don’t particularly care about Judd’s beef with Bailey at the moment. I have a football game to win, a campaign to plan, and a father to impress.

And a girlfriend to please.

I go up to the counter to get a refill, then settle in my cozy corner of the coffeehouse and open the app I downloaded last night. I hadn’t lied to Annika earlier—her birthday request is in the forefront of my mind. I just need to do some investigating first.

Welcome to Kink!

Add a profile pic.

Add bio.

I’d wanted to fill all this out last night, but my frat brothers suckered me into an epic session of Red Dead Redemption that lasted till three a.m. Now I quickly scroll through the camera roll on my phone until I find a suitable one. It’s of Annika and me, taken in Easthampton last summer. She looks smokin’ hot in a teeny string bikini, and my abs are looking tight, if I do say so myself. I crop out our faces and load the photo.

I skip the bio for now, because I’m feeling impatient. I want to see what this app has to offer more than I want to break my brain thinking of one hundred and forty-five characters to describe how my girlfriend wants to bang two men at the same time.

Actually, that’s pretty much the gist of it.

Still, I’m curious to check out the goods. Kink is more hookup app than dating app, and I’m pleased to discover it lets you search for users who’ve expressed interest in certain arrangements.

I click on the threesome box in the search section. There are an eye-opening number of options, combinations that hadn’t even occurred to me. Annika wants another guy, though, so I ponder the easiest combos.

m/f/m

m/m/f

My finger hovers over the m/f/m button. The other option means the men are allowed to touch, I think. It’s the moment of truth. Some guys would hate this idea. I don’t, though. I’m a scientist. Experimenting is what I do.

I even dreamt about sex with men once. Or twice. I never mentioned that to Annika. But why would I? I’ve also dreamt of meeting a dragon who smoked clove cigarettes. The things my brain invents while I’m sleeping aren’t newsworthy.

But I’d be lying if I said that Annika’s shocking birthday request turns me off. I’ll try anything once. And the app lets you click as many boxes as you want. So after looking over my shoulder once more just to make sure nobody I know is watching, I tap both options and usher in the possibility of taking a walk on the wild side.

The threesome has to be with a stranger, though. I’m certain that any one of my frat brothers would be down to help me give my girl a night to remember. Well, except Dan, who’s only down for dudes. And, well, Bailey, who thinks I’m an ass. I think he’s an ass, too, so I guess we’re even.

But I can’t do this with someone I know. What if the whole night is awkward as fuck? If it’s a brother, I’ll still have to live with him. If it’s a teammate, I’ll still have to see him in the locker room.

And then there’s the opposite scenario. What if it’s not awkward as fuck? What if I like it a whole lot?

Yeah, I don’t want my buddies judging me. A stranger for the win, then.

I lean back in my chair and start swiping.

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