#then turned around and started making/posting MASS amounts of gifsets (published and drafted) for very little payoff
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#i've been in a manic state for over a month#haven't slept in my own bed for 30 days#was barely eating/sleeping the first half and now i'm eating/sleeping too much#i was even off twitter for two weeks which is so hilariously unlike me#said i was taking a gif hiatus because my brain was so unhealthy#then turned around and started making/posting MASS amounts of gifsets (published and drafted) for very little payoff#like. More often than i usually do to the point where i feel like it's overwhelming or annoying or looks desperate but hey maybe i am#for the serotonin#except nobody reblogs shit which. Well you know how that goes#it is what it is but it's also making me feel so so so low#but i can't stop either because it's the only thing keeping my brain off of everything#i also recorded that voiceover video of my gif process but i don't think i'm gonna post it because i hate my voice and my overall Being rn#and publishing something like that would be inviting literally anyone to have a negative thought or opinion of my voice or my personality#which is a big No Thank You atm#even tho i have nice followers i also have total dickwads waiting to jump me lately for the stupidest shit lol#so the timing is just bad bc everything else is bad my mental health is bad my self esteem is bad#my gifs and the engagement on them is pretty bad without me reblogging them 50 times myself but we ball#it's all just!!!! it all feels Bad i just want to feel sane lol
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