#therapy and antidepressants have made me immune to that. i recommend it. godbless thats not my problem | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

seithr · 1 year

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i went to lunch with my dad today and with regards to pride month starting it came up in conversation

today's revelations

my mom knew i was "a homosexual" already based on a different time I brought it up in the past but I assumed was forgotten

so her blowing up on me a few weeks ago for coming out AGAIN was needless drama and exaggerration and screaming

—that has left me with a fear response to certain words and clothing and locations now.

My Dad: Yeah she'd called me about "I don't want MY child being a homosexual" not long after your trip to her gay friend's wedding which I thought was really hypocritical of her to say.

...before this trip I'd argued with her about her hidden partner, where she said, quote "don't i deserve to be happy? don't i deserve happiness with someone?"

huh.

anyways my dad is now inviting me to pride.

#i hate being put against my own family and feel its Unfair to demand i hold grudges and make things worse when i was very unwell #and i'm well aware of my own dad's failings and what hes said and done #but on the other hand also. one of my parents didn't give me emotional triggers like my own clothes or going certain places #or call me Tslur lover or dyke or whatever so. Yeah. you can't What About My Needs into me putting your feelings over mine THIS time sorry #therapy and antidepressants have made me immune to that. i recommend it. godbless thats not my problem #you making me feel like shit and afraid and a burden is my problem though. pardon me for listening to myself and my needs now!!!#armour clanking #SORRY i just need to talk and jabber on sometimes. 'Choosing your fights' and all. i won't hold your grudge for your fights #but i will hold mine for what youve said and done to me for ten years.#my therapist had a disclaimer that they're not responsible for changes in personality that may make some people close to u—#—have an adverse reaction to changes in personality or scope. i think i am understanding it now. less kicked-puppy's-acceptance #now im mad and hey i am not forgetting what you said. fuck off or listen to me

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