#there's a deeper issue i have w respect to that which i won't get into

[willows-rambles]

goddamn i'm begging ppl to give proper feedback to things instead of generic vagueass compliments i'm actually literally so allergic to not-compliments

[mydemonsdrivealimo]

pleaseee tell me more about jensen and gender stuff. his nonchalance/detachment about his own gender is so interesting to me. anything really :) but i really like the thing about him only thinking about his gender/himself and defining things when he's prompted to do it.. so if you want to elaborate on that i won't complain!!!!

thank you this is exactly the kind of ask i was looking for omg i loveee ranting for way too long ab jensens character [jensen gender post]

ig the best way to put it is that jensen thinks his gender is the least interesting topic of conversation at any given moment. really anything ab himself, actually

before i get into that tho we gotta go back to undergrad when jensen actually started formulating this image/personality for himself. jensen was in the music scene and started breaking into the industry w his bandmates, but had to quit just as they got an official offer bc he was not creating a sustainable lifestyle or persona

he let himself pretend to be so much more than he felt, and he was constantly putting labels on himself to create this clear image of a "rockstar" (not exactly, but the idea that he was a solidly defined person in a defined role yk). he said that he absolutely was bi, absolutely was the image of a cis queer man who was willing to play w fashion and push against norms, but deep down he hated that. not what he was doing, but the fact that even by breaking out of a stereotype/box, he was just putting himself into another. it all started to play along w the idea that he was a partier and mr popular and a young queer guy who wanted to make a name for himself

i havent talked much ab his little college mental breakdown, but that was essentially what started it. he couldn't handle being that "guy" for the rest of his life. he didn't want to be in a box. he didn't want to be a box

as he started in medicine, he really was able to put his time and energy into the things he was interested in and had a passion for, and he could let go of the idea that he had to be a somebody doing a something for a reason. he could just exist and do the work he was interested in (and yes he has always stood out, but during that time he felt like he didn't, which is something he's always struggled with)(yes it has to do w the undiagnosed autism. anyway.)

and thats kind of when he stopped living by the expectation that he has to be this clear cut, singular line of a person. why should he care ab defining his gender and sexuality when there are so many more compelling and interesting and important things in the world? that is such an irrelevant part of him when compared to the intricacies and complexities of his profession and interests and world events and everything else aside from it. now, he does fully and completely understand that he does have certain advantages and disadvantages because of how he looks and presents, but in regular old conversations ab life and his career, it doesn't seem like the most pressing matter to bring up. those advantages and disadvantages are just frustrating to him more than anything, but thats bc they bring up questions of nationwide and systemic issues, not bc it specifically has to do w him. again, he is the least interesting part of this equation in his mind

by putting a label on himself, the world is expecting to see him in one way or another, when really he thinks the world doesnt need to be in his business at all. jensen hates small talk and the surface level type of information you "should" know ab a person. if he clicks with someone, they'll get through a 2 hour conversation ab hypothetical treatments for an uncurable disease before they learn each others names. it matters more to him what people believe in and are passionate ab than what their name or favorite season is. ofc he respects people and their identity, but that has nothing to do w whether or not he click w them on a deeper level

this is also what i mean when is say he isnt open ab himself unless being prompted. again w the undiagnosed autism, but jensen has always felt that someone else has to set the tone and depth of the conversation before he adds on. he has to gauge what their expectation of the conversation is before he gives his input

with that said, everyone says jensen is super quiet. he observes conversations long before he participates in them, which leads to a lot of people talking at him bc they perceive him to be quiet and a good listener, when usually hes just trying to soak up as much information as possible to say the correct thing

but then theres people like bryce who want to have a back-and-forth conversation, and have the confidence to straight up ask jensen his opinions and feelings on things. he responds best to direct questions bc its a clear "this is what i want from you" rather than trying to figure out what the next depth-match and appropriate comment is

so when it comes to people asking in intro/casual conversation ab his sexuality and gender, he can give them a set answer he's already picked out, basically. he's comfortable saying he goes by he/him and is bi but thats just bc it moves the small talk/uninteresting part of the conversation along faster

but, when he's w people (like bryce) who want and ask for the real, complicated answer? he will absolutely elaborate. but again, it all depends on the nature of the conversation and what he thinks is appropriate for it

if its a convo that doesnt matter, he'll say what he has to even if it isn't 100% accurate just bc he doesnt care enough to elaborate on it when it's unimportant. whereas in convos he cares ab where he can be 100% real and truthful and elaborate fully on his feelings ab things, he will

[kimnjss]

I feel like at the end of the day her having reasons to act like she does won't change how I feel about her. Becausr despite those reasons she's making things difficult for others. I always mention how she's in charge of people's careers and I get she does want to be there, but these people are trying to male it and reach their goals and dreams so for her to be so careless most of the time is a disservice to them. Which is unfair.

Also Hobi is there too. Her fuck ups reflect on him and by being so careless she gets him in trouble in a job he seems to care about doing. I can't imagine how much harder it is for him to do his job, be an artist, and also act as his sister's keeper and possibly pick up her slack. Hell, I even feel bad for the employees who have to do her job after her.

Asking for a smaller job would be wise and better for everyone. The family could even say it's because she wants to stary from the bottom or some shit. And maybe she has, but if that was the case and she was told no she could at least put effort into these people's livelihoods.

Also, I'm just so annoyed with this whole see paat it shit. Because she hasn't given him a reason to. The girl has been blocked at every turn and refuses to at least try a different approach. Yoongi gets to see her not trying to fuck side, something she never shows Joon and that ain't it. Doesn't matter if he likes her a little or not she could at least respect his no and try to care more about his work like she sat there and did with Yoongi. Joon clearly wouldn't be opposed to her actually treating him like she's not trying to make him another boy of the week.

And the layera thing was mean of Joon, but also she doesn't show many layers. AT ALL. Not even a slither of anything outside of not doing her job, causing scandals, and being difficult. He can't fucking look deeper to see her deep seated issues when to anyone else she treats like she does him there aren't any.

Tldr; YN sucks and none of her possible issues make her behavior while at work or thinking she can have the world valid. Joon was mean, but not necessarily wrong.

Damn this was longer than intended

whatever reason yn has does not excuse for the way she acts ., bc she is in charge of a lot of people’s lives nd their careers . she plays a big role in what they get out of their work nd her half assing everything does not help them at all . we just don’t know what that reason is yet ., so while she may just seem like she’s spoiled nd just a brat - there’s often things beneath the surface that has a lot to do w who she is as a character . 

// hoseok does catch a lot of heat from the way that she acts nd he already has a lot on his plate . he loves his job nd he loves being a rapper but he does not love picking up yns slack ., buut he knows how it is when she gets in trouble ., so he ends up doing it for her sake - something that she often times takes for granted . 

yn shows interest in joon’s work ., but it’s often times coated w flirty remarks and batted eyelashes where it’s a lot of the times overlooked . so yoongi defending her doesn’t really do anything ., bc joon has never seen the calm side of her . she’s able to just talk to him nd get to know him a bit (her paying a lot more attention to him nd other artists has a lot to do w her getting in trouble w her dad for sleeping w hyungwon at the job) . buut they’re can’t get past the surface when she’s constantly flirting w him nd he’s always putting up walls to avoid it . 

// you’re right ., joon is mean but he’s not wrong . just bc yn likes him does not mean he has to return her feelings or even give her the time of day ., he’s there to work nd not entertain her advances . nd he’s not the type of person to just go along w something for the comfort for someone else ., he doesn’t sugarcoat so he’s not planning to do it for yn . 

they both really just need to learn more abt each other (yn knows nothing abt joon other than he’s cute) nd see if they like each other than ., cause right now they’re reacting on what they see on the outside .