#theres nothing to even entertain me either im so fucking bored

[bangtangalicious]

what would fmf!jk do if oc didn’t listen to jk and actually dated someone and ended up falling in love, how far would jk go to get her back?

so lets say you fall in love with taehyung bc he’s such a sweetheart in this. i hope you like this anon <3

tw: jealousy, possessive behavior, toxic fuckboy mentalities, fuckboy!jungkook, manipulation, implied smut, angst (sorry lmaoooo), heartbreak, selfpity, sabotage, poor taehyung rip, implied slut shaming (this part of the fuck me forever au)

weeks after hearing the news that you and taehyung were actually now dating, jungkook would find himself at the bar every night, drinking away the pain and throwing himself at others. he’d fuck two or three people a night, but his mind was always full of you. he was sick of you. no. he missed you.

he’d see you and taehyung around campus being all cute together. taehyung kissing your forehead, making you laugh, holding you in his arms the way jungkook used to

he’d sweat it off at the gym, pounding into the punching bag like there was no tomorrow. he couldn’t sit around and let you slip away from him. not any longer.

he’d hit you up, hellbent on doing whatever he needed to sabotage your relationship before he loses you for good. he’d text you asking to meet, showing up at your place when taehyungs not around. he’d want to try to drive a wedge between the two of you

he knew youd tell taehyung youd been spending time with him. he wanted you to. because he knew taehyung would advise you not to see him. to cut him out of your life.

and that was the key. jungkook would start putting the idea in your head that taehyung himself was overly possessive, not wanting you to spend time with your own best friend—how ridiculous ! 

jungkook knew all your deepest insecurities, and would exploit them to the fullest in order to to make you doubt taehyung’s commitment to you. 

he'd point out whenever other girls would talk to him. whenever taehyung would say he was too busy to see you. it would become the bane of his existence, making sure to catch taehyung slipping whenever he possibly could. he'd fill your head with wrong notions, reminding you all the reasons you felt you were undeserving of someone loving you.

then he'd recommend breaking up with him.

in the meantime he'd go around telling all your mutual friends that you still sleep with him even though you claim to be dating taehyung

taehyung may not believe it, but everyone else does. 

eventually they would start judging taehyung for being complacent or naive. saying that you’re taking advantage of him and getting away with cheating on him because you’re just that hot

despite how hard taehyung tries, it would eventually get to his head. he would blow up at you accidentally one day and you would start to think that maybe jungkook was right about taehyung being possessive. you weren't used to being in a relationship either. so you’d dump him then and there

jungkook would be overjoyed when you tell him, calling him in a mess of tears. he'd come over right away and take full advantage of your heartbreak & vulnerability. hold you tight. be the friend you knew and loved. the one you needed. 

sssh baby its okay. im here now aren’t i? everything will be okay. i got you.

you’d realize just how close he is, your lips would draw into him like a magnet. he’d make sure you kissed him first.

you’d want to give him everything, let him take complete control so that you could feel numb.

let me take away the pain baby. i can make it all go away. let me treat you right.

jungkook would then begin to fuck you sweetly. with care. getting into your emotional mind. filling you with love & adoration. making you feel wanted. making you feel beautiful. 

he has no idea what he’s missing out on. you’re a fucking goddess y/n. you’re the hottest girl in the entire world. you drive me crazy.

you realize that no matter how hard you tried to deny it you still had feelings for jungkook. you always would. 

this would overwhelm jungkook. he loves you too. but he’s afraid. afraid he’ll mess up and you’ll leave him. afraid that you’ll hurt him, get bored of him before he gets bored of you. he likes having to chase you. he likes the freedom of having you only when he’d like. he can’t be tied down, he can’t! its suffocating to think about. he doesn’t want what you and taehyung had.

he'd panic internally, but decide to entertain your feelings for the night if it would keep you this eager to please him and let him rail you repeatedly, all night long. however he wants.

god im fucking in love with you baby. i love you so much 

as he would push his cock deep inside you. he’d promise you love. friendship. the knowing comfort that you’d never ever be alone—you always had him. he was yours as long as you were his. 

you’re mine. all mine. don’t ever let anyone touch you again except me. im the only one. tell me im the only one. show me how much you need me.

he would fuck you over. and over. and over again. lips glued to one another. never parting as he pumped you full of his cum until you couldn’t even move. 

such a good fucking girl. so perfect for me. wanna fuck you just like this for the rest of my life

in the morning taehyung would show up begging for you to give him another chance. jungkook would answer the door in nothing but his boxers, telling taehyung everything he needed to know. 

once he would leave jungkook would grab your phone and block taehyungs number. he didn’t want to risk the two of you communicating and fixing your relationship.

he’d lie down, thinking about his actions as he watches you sleep. he couldn’t do it. he just couldn’t do it. he’d blink back tears of frustration, hating himself more for stealing something good from you—his best friend—for his own selfish needs. 

he wasn’t good enough for you. you deserved better. he recalled with a pang in his heart all the promises he made made while making love to you for so long last night. he was rotten, and he knew it. 

so when you you woke up. 

he was gone. 

a/n: basically he’d manage to get you back but then he would leave bc. he’s an asshole. IM SORRY HAAHAHA. theres a happy ending in the works ok dw. 

[dragqueenpentheus]

Okay no one has to read this but i DO have to write it:

PYROC VS FATHER PAUL

Ya bitch needs an art break bc im getting angry about voices existing as i try to keep myself entertained. Today is NOT a god one for sinking into repetitive line work and that’s just about all i have on the table atm

SO! Im gunna do a little thinking about my little meow meows all fucked up by religion. Just a comparison for my sanity and interests. Pyroc is my baby i wrote him for the first time years ago. Five?????????? Whadda hell. Going on six.

ANYWAY john joined religion because of his trauma. His sister died and he felt lost. He was unmoored in this fishing village and looking for reason looking for hope. Hed had his heart broken and trying to make sense of tragedy on his own was totally beyond him. Thats why his interactions with riley in AA are SO good like. He knows that confusion and he knows the rhetoric that’s supposed to combat it. Only it dooesnt work for riley.

The same sort of thing happens for pyrc, only inverted. Loss urns him away from god and religion because its SO strong in his family and not only is he loosing trust in god, but his kin as well. He’s suspicious there’s mre they arent telling him, at the point of his fathers death. And he agrees to, on the surface, absolutely wholly throw himself in to being the second the family and the village need. But he’s keeping his treachery under wraps.

That’s one of the coolest things about father paul imo is like. That slow unraveling of what is. Frankly. An awful half assed plan, driven by fear and loneliness and desperation and dementia and love. Even VERY obvious things like. Taking down the newspaper photo of his young self ‘slip’ by him. I think, on some level, its DEEPLY intentional. He wants people to CHOOSE this. He wants people like bev. He wants people who see him and are in aw of him beating god. Of killing death. He wants to be worshiped and adored and for people to come to him willingly, no tragedy driving them to his arms.

Pyroc also wnats to be worshipped, but he ALSO wants to do the worshipping. He really longs for an element of almost????? But not quite??? Subjection?? He wants to be shown something and for a Great Voice to tell him, unquestioningly and unerringly that it is GOOD. Full stop. And then he wants to spend his life worshipping it. But this booko is an exploration of how….. no such thing exists. And more importantly no great voice exists either. There is nothing wholly good, nothing wholy evil. His lack of faith in himself once he becomes god is him starting to understand that as well. Thats on purpose baked into the lore. The starting point was ‘what if god was a position and in order to get promoted you had to be a murderer. No matter what’. He understands things are not wholly good, at that point. I onder how long it will be for him to realize they are not fully evil as well?

Bc pruitt does hm hm hm an interesting move. Where he takes something the narritve is very sure to communicate is EVIL no wiggle room just fact. Even if its driven by animal instinct its. Evil. And he makes it, not just good, but HOLY. And god i LOVEEEE that for him i ADOREEE that what a MOVE. Driven by desperation and dementia and relief and ‘if god saved me than maybe i can be good despite loving and sinning and maybe if i defeat god then i will be Thee Good’. SO sexy of him. Im really fascinated by his morality. He seems to have an understanding of the shades of grey in some respects??? But if he had a BETTER one with more forgiveness in his heart i feel like hed have left the church anyway after sarah was born??? Even if millie didnt ask him??? That might just be my own sensibilities creeping in but ….. like he culd have seen her on the weekends. He can do other jobs. Hes straight (??? Not totally convinced of this) he could have just dated her that makes me crazy. LIKE OBV HE HAD LINES HE THOUGHT THAT WOULD CROSS AND HE HAD INTERNALIZED THE CHURCH AND THE RULES AND SHE WAS MARRIED AND ECT ECT i know he couldnt have really but. Thye were straight. They coulda.

Im not gunna do fantasy homophobia bc i think its …………….. Boring. But i think some element of??? The vindlegaurd line MUST be passed along and for that particular rules must be applied. But thats also boring as hell :/ maybe i can work in my parthenogenesis lore?????????? I bet pyroc would love building that spell in any universe. That’s the sequal when he goes to magic university in helsin. But yeah i do like the concept that. Anyone can have a baby thru magic its just a time and energy commitment. Just a matter of wanting it enough together. Every baby is so deeply wanted and its mere existence is proof. Thats dope i love that. HMMM to be decided at a later date when im deeper into the story i think. I still havent figured out fully how and where and why orion is going to be invovled and if???? Pyroc and orion are even going to be romantic??????? Im torn im TORn…….

Thikns about john bonding w sarah over science and learning and starts wEEPING…. Like theres some surity beloved. Its just a matter of uncovering. I think sarah felt that same thirst for answers and hunted them differently. Her faith is in logic and science. I loveeee her god. Every scene w her and her dad absolutely RUIN me like!!!!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW LOVED SHE IS!!!!!! I hope at hte very end she saw the blood as the gesture of love it SO clearly was and not him trying to poison her. God i love that she spat it out. GOD. Thats about being gay, btw. Spits the religious offering that could save you across the gasoline soaked church floor like BABE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think we as a collective should talk about the possibiites around sarah/erin more. Bc their defiance combined would be. Earth SHATTERING for crockett.

In the future pyroc gets a kid. Ever since that campaign where Enemy ended up playing his daughter im like. How did i NOT know this idiot wanted nothing more in the entire world than to travel it with his daughter. I dont care how or why hes getting a kid. Hed be so doting and awful abut it. He would need orion as a co-parent for the kids self esteem to be normal levels. thINKS ABOUT PAUL GETTING TO RAISE SARAH AND JUST ABSOLUTELY GASSING HER UPPPPPPPP HANGING EVERY DOODLE SHE EVER MADE ON TEH FRIDGE. BOASTING ABOUT HER SCEINECE PROJECT OT ANYONE WITHIN EYESIGHT EVEN THOUGH ‘WE K N O W JOHNWE WERE ALL AT THE SCEINCE FAIR’!!!!!!!!!!! Let these fuck ups be doting fathers im fucking begging. That scene where paul is like. You take ccare of everyone on the island sarah. Its more than being a doctor. You comfort them.

HM HM comfort is such a thing for Miss Bitch like!! He sees it as a Good Thing. He tries to bring it for riley by asking to hold the AA meetings on island ((also manipulation. Obvously also manipulation. I wouldnt have bene shocked if he was slipping the vampire blood into the coffee every meeting either. But thats just a theory. A game theory.)) ANYWAY he sees comfort as hly. The church gave it to him when he needed it. The angel gave it to him in the cave. Feeling safe and warm is HIGH on his list of priorities and what makes him hand over respect.

I think pyroc has lived a very comfortable life in SO many ways, but in none he. Activly recognizes. A key part of his character arc his him…. Opening his eyes to the world around them. Seeing the privilege he has and being like. Wait. This isnt Right. We have to change thi. And when no one agrees ti shifts to I have to change this. With Violence. A little revolutionary <3 it only costs the life of his whole ass family

Thats more fun comparison ground like…… paul is SO much about I know whats right and there is a cost but i AM ignoring it. Like HE KNOOOOWSSSS he knooooows he just doesnt want o See. I’m not sure if im going to surprise yroc with the ……megadeath of. His whole family. Or if it’s a choice he has to activly make. I think a choice makes it more compelling, more layerd. It has to be in the moment though, becaus ei think thats. A key difference between them. Pyroc wouldnt do it.. hed just leave hed peace out and do what he could in small ways. But he wouldnt do his big stand off with god. Hed shrink his goals in order to not hurt his family. Out of love?? Intimidation?? Some instinct wihtin him that balks at the idea of disobedience??? I think even he doesnt know. But i LOVE john becaue he jsut decides to lie. He closes his eyes and says i am being stupid on purpose. I think thats PERHAPS more compelling than good guy coward pyroc BUT!!!!! Thats who he is rip to ths little man. Cant change him now hes a whole ass child in my head. The PLOT i can change. Him….. not without massive character development <3

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MM set my brain on FIRE!!!! Im so glad nano is coming up. I love sharpening pyroc against the comparison of other AMAZING characters. Father paul hill my beloved millstone <3 anyway sorry to anyone who reads this its literally me unhinging my jaw and emptying my brain out. I had to write stuff that wasn’t novel or fic. A little character time down and dirty. I wil NOT be editing this love and light to future me trying to decode this

[doctorguilty]

ok you’ve all been waiting for it my thoughts on the sonic movie!!!

under cut cause long

so overall! I really liked the movie! I think it sorta landed pretty in the ballpark of what I sorta expected quality-of-plot wise and how much I’d be entertained by it. which is satisfying!!! I’m going to like, stream of thought this, starting with some criticisms which are gonna be kinda hefty cause im critiquing something I care about 

so right away I really disliked the “record scratch so this is me I bet you’re wondering how I got in this situation” opening like I’m not sure if it was intentionally a self aware joke on that being cliche and dumb but it does like, really frustrate me cause my philosophy for most stories is Start your story where it begins!! which made the backstory infodump more frustrating on top of that, like, I think that’s an easy mistake to make to want to spill your Backstory right away but it’s not necessary! the audience doesn’t NEED to know immediately what sonic was like in his homeworld and his tragic separation from it. we already have the audiences suspension of disbelief in play because they know they’re watching.. a movie about sonic the hedgehog in the real world. I think the backstory stuff would have been much more impactful as a flashback later on, especially when sonic’s whole arc is how lonely and isolated he is. it would be a better punch in the heart to later on be like so by the way as a child his guardian probably died and sent him to earth for his own safety. so that was like AUGH you blew it 

next up that i think was unnecessary like, completely, was establishing that sonic already knew the main cop guy and his wife (omg I already forgot their names..because they were not memorable but we’ll get to that fjdsg) and like, secretly immersed himself into their life that’s ?? odd to me? I think it would have been fine to just have sonic be like attached to the whole small town and he thinks the cop is cool and calls him donut lord, and that’s the extent of it like cause the problem is later down the plot when sonic finds out cop guy is leaving green hills and flips out about it.. I’m like, not sure if I believe sonic, immersing himself in their life, had NOT known that was a thing cop guy wanted to do like he NEVER heard about that??? but that’s like whatever 

I don’t really like the cop guy as the protag human like. oof he was very bland and I’m trying to figure out how to put this into words............ I feel like a character like him isn’t someone the audience can really connect to. this guy has a virtually perfect life with a house and a dog and a job and a wife, his Conflict is that he wants to move to california and see more action and save people, but the WEIRDEST thing about it is that the prospect of leaving his little town behind isn’t really shaking him up at all. it shakes SONIC up later, but up until that point.... the cop just has legit a perfect life and it’s kinda sad because sonic appearing in it physically becomes something that immediately has the effect of “starting to ruin it” and thats why the cop is so like, mean about things at first. 

see I don’t really like that it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. if I were to rewrite this keeping the general ideas in mind, I would have opted for a ... paul blart crossed with judy hopps. a guy who’s life isn’t all in order, maybe not living in trash but he doesn’t have a wife, he DREAMS of being a cop and saving people, but he doesn’t quite have what it takes physically/mentally or maybe he’s too afraid to even try. he loves his rural town but thinks like, maybe if I move to the big city I’ll find myself maybe he’s offered a job there for something boring and is like resigning to a boring life idk there’s a lot you can do but you get the idea! a lonely underdog with big dreams. so when Sonic comes into his life, its WAY more impactful to paul hopps.....judy blart...... that Sonic pleads for help saving his life and this sudden adventure isn’t ruining his life either. 

then LATER when we get to sonic being upset that paul hopps wants to leave, it’s less this awkward confrontation “how dare you wanna live your already in motion dreams somewhere ELSE  because people love you HERE” (like .. oof bad take tbh) it would be a much nicer “why do you want to leave your home to become a hero when everyone here already sees you as one” and instead of the shabby like “well I guess I’ll stay because i crossed off saving someone from my bucket list” paul hopps would feel fulfilled he saved sonic and I actually you know what? I’d change up the whole scene with the turtle to be at the end where paul hopps becomes a cop in green hills and he like, saves a turtle crossing the road and is like! that’s what its all about being a hero! like thats cute and resonates with an audience, the message like, being a hero just means being kind and doing the right thing, which is way more suitable for a sonic movie when the sonic series has always been a campy power of friendship thing. 

in a similar vein, the cop being a lonely underdog would give him a better connection with sonic, so that even if he was annoyed by him at first he’d later have the understanding they’re one in the same, you know? connections people!! themes!!!! 

anyway but enough of that au 

so the last thing I’m like iffy about is how robotnik was handled. like jim carry is funny and stuff but it felt like a bit of a mess like, this character is repeatedly reminding us what a hard ass I’M SUPERIOR THAN YOU MY IQ IS HUGE but then being super mega goofy, like I’m all for eccentric scientists but it felt kind of disconnected? and idk like not to be that guy but man.. i remember when sonic 06 came out and everyone hated how eggman was slimmed down to what he looked like in that game jfkdfsgksdj like my brain really doesn’t find a fully slender bodied eggman palatable like......... let my mans be fat ... WHICH tbh I’m a little nervous because at the end of the movie we see this implication that robotnik is turning more visually into the eggman we know with the stache and bald head but I’m worried they’re gonna also go with “and he also gets fat” cause I don’t like that sort of thing, you know? 

i think that’s all for my major criticisms!! but otherwise like! the movie was genuinely really fun and goofy and it felt very in spirit with the sonic franchise! 

if you read bogleech’s post I agree with him whole heartedly that this is the best characterization of sonic. it feels almost like?????? the characterization he was MEANT To have but he always ended  up going TOO MUCH in the direction of confident and cocky and being too cool and successful about it? I love sonic with that hyper teenager-like personality, it’s incredibly charming and cute, like I never Hated sonic as a character but he was defs like... lower on my list of characters in the franchise I found interesting. I felt like I could connect with movie sonic a lot and like! i’d want to be his friend, you know? I really really want to see more of him like that! 

I also agree big time that the movie had the best use of bullet time I’ve ever seen! I’m like omg?? WHY hasnt that ever been a mechanic in a game? 

and overall just like the cuteness like............I literally almost cried when the little girl gave sonic her shoes like AAAAAAAAAAAAA WEEPS............ and the end with sonic getting his own room thats so super cute too!!!! 

oh and the post credits scene with tails was SO FUCKING HYPE like, people in the theater audibly gasped and started being like  YESSSSSSS tails looks really great! 

so like YEAH dabs ,, being a story snob aside it was a fun and cute movie and I’m glad to hear it trumped detective pikachu for a video game movie  I’m glad it’s brought some attention to the sonic franchise! like while it’s cool in some aspects that Nerd Culture is mainstream now, it’s absolutely exhausting the HUGE focus on that is marvel and DC and all that stuff........ like theres nothing wrong w/ liking that but its like.. hm.... idk how to explain it but................. as someone who was bullied a lot in school for liking things like sonic.. like I guess stuff like that people usually see as lame stuff for babies??? superheroes are more like, macho and palatable to adults?? it’s been a good experience for all my normie coworkers to ask what I did for valentines day and I tell them “I saw the sonic the hedgehog movie” and I BRACE myself reflexively to be laughed at but not a single person did they were just like oh cool! how was it? like it really makes me appreciate I got to at least grow up and feel a little more accepted! 

so THATS my thoughts feel free to comment and discuss! 

[the-desolated-quill]

Quill’s Swill - The Worst Of 2018

Congratulations dear reader. You survived 2018. And you know what that means. It’s time for another best of/worst of list. Welcome to Quill’s Swill 2018. A giant septic tank for the various shit the entertainment industry produced over the course of the year. The films, games, TV shows and various other media that got on my bad side. As always please bear in mind that this is only my subjective opinion (if you happen to like any of the things on this list, good for you. I’m glad someone did) and that obviously I haven’t seen everything 2018 has to offer for one reason or another. In other words, sorry that Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald isn’t on here. I’m sure it is as terrible as some have been suggesting. I just never got around to watching it.

Okay everyone. Grab your breathing masks and put on your rubber gloves. Let’s dive into this shit pile.

Hold The Sunset

The news that John Cleese would be returning to the world of BBC sitcoms was incredibly exciting, being a massive Fawlty Towers fan and all. Unfortunately Hold The Sunset was not quite what I had in mind. It’s one of those rare breed of situation comedies that chooses to offer no actual comedy. It’s not a sitcom. It’s a sit. Like Scrubs or The Big Bang Theory.

An elderly couple plan to elope abroad only for Alison Steadman’s son to barge in, having left his wife, and forcing them to put their plans on hold. Hence the title ‘Hold The Sunset.’ It’s like a cross between As Time Goes By and Sorry, but if all the humour and relatability were surgically removed by a deadpan mortician. The characters are weak, the plots are thin on the ground and the humour (hat little of it there is) feel incredibly dated. The middle aged mummy’s boy is something that hasn’t been funny since the 90s. It’s an utter waste of great talent and what hurts even more is that this tripe is actually getting a second series. I can only assume the people watching this are comatose. Either that or there’s an epidemic of people in Britain who have lost the remote.

Avengers: Infinity War

Yes this is one of the worst movies of 2018 and no I don’t regret saying that one little bit. Avengers: Infinity War was fucking terrible. Period. There were too many plots and characters going on, which made the film hard to follow (and what staggers me is that the so called ‘professional’ critics have condemned movies for having too many characters and plots before. Spider-Man 3, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Batman vs Superman: Dawn Of Justice and even Deadpool 2. But because this is an MCU movie, it gets a free pass. Fuck off). The characterisation was weak due to sheer number of characters they try to juggle, resulting in characters coming off as one dimensional caricatures of themselves and scenes where characters such as Iron Man, Doctor Strange and Star-Lord sound completely interchangeable. The villain, Thanos, is a stupidly and poorly written villain, but that’s hardly surprising considering what a shit job Marvel have done building him up over the course of these 20+ movies. And let’s not forget that pisstake ending. A bunch of prominent Marvel characters die and it’s all very, very sad... except all these characters just so happen to have sequels planned, which makes this ending fucking pointless and have less impact than a feather on a bouncy castle.

I don’t know which is more shocking. That Marvel and Disney think their audience are that stupid and gullible, or that their audience are actually validating their view. Fuck you Disney.

Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery

I’ve always wanted a Harry Potter RPG, where you could customise your character, choose your house and actually live a full school life at Hogwarts. This year, Warner Bros and Jam City gave us just that.

That was a mistake.

Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery is the epitome of everything that’s wrong with the mobile gaming market right now. The gameplay is boring and involving where you just tap images on a screen until a progress bar fills up. Wizard duels are little more than rock-paper-scissors challenges that require no kind of skill. Bonding with friends and caring for magical creatures just consist of pathetically simple pop quizzes and yet more boring tapping. Oh and of course you only get a certain amount of energy to complete these tedious tasks. If you run out of energy, you wait for it to fill up... or pay up for the privilege. So determined are they to extract your hard earned cash from your wallet, there’s actually a bit where Devil’s Snare strangles your eleven year old avatar and the game effectively tries to guilt trip you into paying micro-transactions to save them. It’s sleazy, gross and manipulative. Honestly, you’re better off just playing Candy Crush.

Agony

When the developers of this game said they wanted to give the player a trip through Hell, they had no idea how true that statement really was. Agony is dreadful on a number of levels. The design for Hell itself, while visually interesting at times, is often not very practical and gets quite dull and repetitive after a while. The stealth mechanics are a joke and the AI of your demonic enemies are pitiful. All of this alone would have been enough to put this game on the list, but then we also have the casual misogyny. Agony is a gorefest trying desperately to shock the player. We see men and woman get tortured, but it’s the women that often get the extreme end. The violence inflicted on them is often sexual in nature and the game seems to go out of its way to degrade and dehumanise women at every turn. The orgasmic cries of ‘pull it out’ quickly become a staple of the game’s experience as we see naked women raped, tortured and murdered, all for the purposes of ‘entertainment.’

I would call Agony sexist, but honestly that would be giving it too much credit. Agony is like a little child trying desperately to be all dark and edgy in a pathetic attempt to impress everyone around him, and we should treat it as such. Go to your room Agony. No ice cream for you.

Peter Rabbit

If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of Beatrix Potter rotating in her grave.

Yes we have yet another live action/CGI hybrid, but instead of something innocuous like the Smurfs or Alvin and the Chipmunks, Sony instead decides to adapt Peter Rabbit, with James Corden in the title role.

It’s about as bad as you’d expect.

Their attempts to modernise the story are painful to say the least with pop culture references, inappropriate adult humour and twerking rabbits. Plus rather than the gentle, but slightly mischievous character we got in the source material, here Peter is a sociopathic delinquent who seems to revel in making the farmer’s life a living hell. He’s unlikable and unwatchable as far as I’m concerned and the film doesn’t in anyway earn the emotional moments it tries so desperately to sell to the audience. And the worst part is it’s getting a sequel.

Wait. Do you hear that sound? That’s the sound of Beatrix Potter tearing out of the ground, ready to kill whatever idiot came up with this shit.

Fallout 76

I was excited for Fallout 76. A MMORPG where players band together to rebuild society after a nuclear apocalypse. Could have been great. Pity it wasn’t.

Fallout 76 is a dreadful game. Not only is it a buggy, glitchy mess that requires a constant online connection to play, which could result in you losing hours of progress if your WiFi went down, it’s also unbelievably tedious, and that’s because there’s nothing to do in the game. There’s no other characters to interact with, the various robots and computers you come across are really little more than quest givers, there’s no actual plot so to speak, and because of the sheer size of the world and the number of players allowed on a server, the chances of you actually meeting any actual players is remote. And let’s not forget all the behind the scenes drama. Bethesda falsely advertising Fallout themed canvas bags and players getting shitty nylon ones. Bethesda accidentally releasing the account information of various players trying to get a refund for said bag. Bethesda failing to program the year 2019 into the game code, meaning that the game’s nukes don’t work.

Maybe there’s a chance that Bethesda could pull a No Man’s Sky and fix everything over the coming years with various patches and DLCs, but the damage has already been done. It’s incredibly disappointing. The Elder Scrolls 6 is going to have be fucking incredible to win everyone back.

Mama Mia!: Here We Go Again

I can’t stand jukebox musicals anyway, but Mamma Mia was always one of the worst. Its boring, meandering story with its one note, obnoxious cast of characters screeching out ABBA songs like they’re at some drunken karaoke session at some poor sod’s hen party has always grated on my nerves. So imagine my delight when they announced we were getting a sequel. Ever wondered how Meryl Streep met her three lovers and founded her hotel? No? Well tough shit, we’re going to tell you anyway.

Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again is basically just Mamma Mia again. The actors still can’t sing, the characters are still annoying and story is still boring and meandering, completely at the mercy of the chosen songs rather than the filmmakers using the songs to compliment the story (you know? Like proper musicals do?).

How can I resist you? Very easily as it turns out. Gimme, gimme, gimme a fucking gun so I can end my misery.

The Cloverfield Paradox

A lot of people were unhappy about the direction Cloverfield was going. They wanted a continuation of the found footage, kaiju movie from 2008, not an anthology series. I was personally all in favour. Partially because I thought the first Cloverfield was a tad overrated, but mostly because I thought it would be a great opportunity for more experimental film projects and could be a great launchpad for new writers and filmmakers. 10 Cloverfield Lane was a great start. Then The Cloverfield Paradox happened.

The Cloverfield Paradox is basically JJ Abrams trying to have his cake and eat it too. Maintaining the anthology format whilst connecting everything together in a ‘shared universe’ (yes, yet another shared universe). The result was a cliched, poorly edited and idiotic mess of a film that actually took away from the previous two films rather than added to them. Everyone hated it and, as a result, 2018′s Overlord, which was totes going to be part of the Cloververse, was made its own standalone film and Abrams double pinky promised to make a true sequel to the original Cloverfield. A complete and total disaster. No wonder it was a straight-to-Netflix film.

The Handmaid’s Tale - Season 2

This is probably going to be the most controversial entry on the list, but please hear me out because I’m not the only one who has a problem with this season.

I was reluctant to watch The Handmaid’s Tale simply because of how gruesome the original book was, but I forced myself to watch the first season and I thought it was pretty good. It remained faithful to the source material for the most part and included some nice additions that helped to expand the story and mythos. If it was just a one off mini-series, everything would have been fine. But then they made the same mistake as The Man In The High Castle and Under The Dome did where they commissioned another season and attempted to tell a story that goes beyond the book.

There’s a reason why the original story ended where it did. The Handmaid’s Tale isn’t meant to be an empowering story about women sticking it to the patriarchy. It’s a cautionary tale about how fragile our civil rights truly are and how easily they can be taken away from us. It’s designed to shock, not to satisfy. So seeing a handmaid blow herself up in a suicide bombing feels very incongruous and just a little bit silly. It would be like doing a TV adaptation of George Orwell’s 1984 where the first season followed the source material and then the second season turned Winston Smith into this heroic freedom fighter trying to overthrow Big Brother. It would represent a fundamental misunderstanding of what the book was about in the first place.

And then of course there’s the increased level of violence in Season 2, which many have complained about. In Season 1 and the original source material, the violence was justified. In Season 2, the motivation behind the violence has gone from ‘how can we effectively demonstrate how easily a fascist patriarchy can happen in the West?’ to ‘what brutal act can we inflict upon Ofglen to shock the audience this week?’ It’s purely for shock and nothing more. And with the showrunner (who I feel I should mention is a man) announcing that he has planned ten seasons of this, it seems that The Handmaid’s Tale is going to go even further with this depravity until it effectively becomes the equivalent of a Saw film.

The Handmaid’s Tale exists as a way of shining light on and critiquing misogyny in its most extreme form. Season 2 however demonstrates that there is a serious risk of it becoming the very thing it’s criticising in the first place.

The Predator

I love the Predator franchise, but The Predator is the worst.

People thought that this would be good because director Shane Black had actually starred in the first Predator movie back in 1987. Instead we got this bloated, confusing, obnoxious and insulting mess of a film that seems to go out of its way to ruin everything that makes Predator so good. There’s no tension. No suspense. No intrigue. Just a bunch of gore, explosions and shitty one liners from annoying and lifeless characters. They essentially took this big alien game hunter from outer space and turned him into a generic monster from a bad summer blockbuster. It no longer hunts for sport. It wants to take over the world and splice our DNA with theirs. But don’t worry, a rogue Predator doesn’t want to kill humans (even though he himself kills a bunch of humans), so he gives us a Predator Iron Man suit to set up a sequel that will probably never happen because this movie was a box office bomb and it fucking SUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKEEEEEDDDD!!!

This film also has a very nasty streak towards those with disabilities. There’s a lot of jokes at the expense of a character with Tourette’s and it has an extremely ignorant and patronising view of autism, portraying the main character’s kid as being a super genius who can decipher the Predator language and even going so far as to say that he represents ‘the next stage of human evolution.’ Presumably the Predators want social communication difficulties because apparently it helps them hunt somehow.

What with Disney acquiring 20th Century Fox, the future of both the Alien and Predator franchises were very much in question. This film needed to be a success in order to make a case for Disney to keep making more of them. It wasn’t. Congratulations Shane Black. You might have just killed off this franchise for good. Thanks arsehole! :D

So those were my least favourite stories from 2018. Join me on Wednesday where we shall discuss something more positive. Yes, it’s awards season. Who shall win the coveted Quill Seal Of Approval? Watch this space...

Or don’t. It’s up to you. I don’t want to force you or anything. It’s a free country.

[the-mythical-norm]

Responding to Varun

@varun-krishnan

Great post Varun, thank you for making disagreeing so enjoyable. I mean that sincerely. Its the things that keep you up at night that are worth doing. And its 4:30 AM! 

Anyways, I see you’re point. When people are giving to chance to choose, they usually choose wrong. But I wouldn’t be so quick to say we’d all spindle into a grand canyon of ineptitude. If no one is “working” then who would supply us with our phones anyways? The entertainment industry would most likely dwindle because, like we both agreed, it is only able to thrive because we need it to distract us. But if we didn’t need to quench this thirst that was deprived from work and dread, we might go mad. Those friends you spoke with who were bored over spring break probably had copious amounts of entertainment, and it still wasn’t enough anyways. What if having nothing to do, because work and progress were thrown out the window, is enough to force us to be cool. The struggle is what births cool after all. We’d be so bored to death that we’d be forced to improvise. I think the reason people rely on Netflix and iPhones so much is because they don’t know what else to do. Without work they probably wouldn’t be able to have them anyways. People I’ve talked to have no idea what they’d be doing if not what they are now.  You’re right when you say that they want the easiest route, but thats a byproduct of a society obsessed with progress. We need fast food, fast cars, and lame jobs to progress our society. In order for maximum efficiency and growth. The question then becomes, how beneficial is this growth? How far do we want to get? 90% of the worlds waste comes from 10% of the worlds population..or something like that. So how much longer will this last? How much more do we want? What will we tell our great great grandchildren when they’re living in a glass bubble on mars only dreaming of being able to look at a lake…or a tree? Obviously sacrifices need to be made in order for a society to progress, but at the end of the day, whats the point of this progress? How many of us will actually reap its benefits? 10%? 20%? And the ones who do, hate their jobs most of the time anyways. And its all worth it so we can squeeze some art through the cracks and take bike rides when we aren’t busy? What a silly way to live. Our society will eventually collapse if we continue to advance. Progress progress progress. At some point its got to give. The term worker bee was born for a reason. The focus of their existence is to work, work, and more work. They also suffer from colony collapse disorder. Theres no scientific explanation for it, entire bee colonies just vanish into thin air, with no trace of struggle..maybe its because they work too much. Or the collapse of Easter Islands society, progress is great when you’re progressing, but how “sustainable” is it anyways. Theres only so much resource. You seem to suggest that what we are doing now works, does it? Will any form of society actually work? Everyone relies on being told what to do because, like we talked about in class, its hard to think for yourself, its hard to get control over your body/mind, its hard to DO things that you aren’t told to do. Like post to this Tumblr.

Im not sure if people would turn to cool if they no longer had to work or go to college, but most people I ask usually say “I don’t know,” or that they would travel.

Im also not sure that art only existed after humans had civilized and advanced utility. Archeologists have discovered Paleolithic cave art dating 40,000 years back, in Indonesia. It’s pretty amazing too. The time spent looking for your next meal in 10,000 BCE is directly replace with time spent looking for your next pay check, and because of the efficiency we’ve “mastered,” excess has been born. Pablo Picasso was cool, but he was doing the best with what he had. He wasn’t making art to progress society, he was just putting it out there. We are obsessed with extremes, manic or depressed. Wealth or poverty. Cool trys to show us a middle ground, a constant hum rather than shouts and whispers.

You say that “..societal progress is critical not because it helps alleviate human suffering, but because it allows more people to be Cool..” But I disagree. Societal progress doesn’t alleviate any suffering, thats just part of the human condition. To rid ourselves of suffering would be to rid ourselves of our humanity. Which is exactly what we are on track of doing, becoming robots whose only purpose is to progress. On the contrary, In order for our society to advance, AKA produce more shit for the rich to buy, there has to be suffering. Most of these consumer products which blossomed from “societal progression,” have been tainted in blood. The invention of the iPhone has provided millions of sweatshop workers with 40 hour shifts and zero time to be cool..the only progression there is suicide rates. That sounds a lot like slavery, which still exists by the way, in India, China, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Uzbekistan, the list goes on. As for the starvation, theres plenty of that too. And way more people to endure its wrath, possibly because of societies advancements, what happened to Darwins theory of evolution, survival of the fittest? Are we cheating a bit? Even people who have access to food, still starve themselves. Eating disorders may have even stemmed from technological advancements (social media) too.

You say cool won’t progress society, whys that such a bad thing? It is true that the sophisticated and advanced society that James Dean or The Beatles could enjoy being cool in would seize to exist, but ultimately cool is a battle stance. What if there was no battle? What if we were so cool we didn’t even need I️t. I️ also agree that In order for cool to exist, there needs to be uncool. But does the uncool world depend on the cool one to exist? Its possible that we could become so dictated by success that we become like the worker bees. You could argue both sides. When people don’t have food, they are starving, but when people do have food, they are still starving. Of course cool needs the uncool and there will always be duality, Yin and Yang. There has to be, or else meaningfulness would be lost. If you just love everything and everyone, loves power sort of looses its meaning and just dilutes in its ubiquity. So I️ agree that cool has a relationship with the uncool, but I wouldn’t go as far as to say that its intimate. Im not arguing for a utopian society, where we live in tribes and sing kumbuya by the campfire, hunt our own food and refuse to advance. Because that didn’t work either, someone eventually decided to make things easier, and advance. Maybe that was a mistake. It’s worth thinking about, and free too. Im not really sure what im arguing. We can learn from all of these different forms of society. Maybe not eradicating the workforce but promoting genuinely passionate career paths. I’d be lying if a little part of me didn’t scream fuck that, advancement is only creating more suffering to the unlucky ones. As you said, slaves cant be cool. But Slavery exists on both sides of the spectrum. On the far end, we could become so obsessed with advancement that we become slaves of money and material pursuit, and on the other end(living in tribes), slaves of famine and lack of clean water. Maybe theres a healthy middle ground. Perhaps nothing works, not even cool. As we learned in class, cool cracked up in 1968. Revolution swept the streets. Those streets have since been paved, where did the rebellion go? We live in a whole new world now, Lester Young and Andy Warhol didn’t have iPhones or Netflix, and Im sure it would have negatively effected their coolness if they did. But their art wouldn’t have existed if society didn’t advance in the first place, so is there a line? There must be. Any form of suffering, to a certain extent, would allow cool to exist. Its not necessarily the marketplace because that was the bane of cools existence in the first place, I think. You don’t necessarily have to be cool to enjoy the sunset either, so cheering for the hamsters on the wheel to run faster, just so the barrier to cool is a little easier to hop, isn’t the best idea. That perpetuating wheel has A LOT of side effects and cool is just one, if it even exists. I️m not sure it’s enough to outweigh the rest. I think cool should view the culture industry as an enemy, and there will never be a cool that isn’t thrust upon you through hardship, theres no escaping that. Even purchasing your cool requires some suffering, as we can all agree that making money isn’t all that fun. Unless you love what you do. I think the real question we should be asking is, how can we learn from all of this? How should we be?  to be continued in paper 3...

[coolmiddlename]

I don't think you ever did your final write up on season 8 Kitty, you gonna get back to that?

aww man, i didnt finish it because i think ive done a pretty great job expressing my thoughts on season 8. it was freaking amazing? but im gonna write up some of what i planned for that post here.

favourite episodes:

two swords is good because it introduces us to the more violent fern and shows finn being a doctor for shits and giggles (foreshadowing?). i get good feelings from this ep. and these days, also sad ones.

high strangeness - tree trunks is pretty entertaining by herself but this episode had a glorious combination of comedy, quiet pain, and…. strangeness. seeing tree trunks be ooo’s greatest activist was nothing short of a golden meme factory. and it was a lttle sad seeing pb explain what it was all about, perhaps even questioning her own sanity here… as for the candy attacking the aliens, if you remember all of pen ward’s previous work, you sure do get a Little Pink Best Buds vibe.

jelly beans have power - yknow when they ended pb’s arc w the whole Being A Pragmatic Coldass back in the Cooler, i wondered if she was going to stay interesting or get boring. well, lets just say the AT crew have exceeded my expectations. not to mention season 8 SURE BRINGS UP A LOT OF COMPETITION in the whole “morally questionable science lady” area. after the whole King of Ooo stuff the princess has been trying to rebuild her relationship with her citizens, and to see her hot-headedness make it crumble apart… well it must have been like looking into your soul and seeing something dreadful.

All of Islands - yes this is cheating. do i give a fuck? no. uhhhh what were my fave eps? hide and seek was the part where i went “this is the best adventure time has ever been”. martin and minnie was not only realistic, making minnie my favourite side character to ever get that little screentime, it also hit all the right emotional notes as well as having a dash of humor. the light cloud kinda highlighted the differences between the humans and the oooish people, it made us all appreciate the wacky land of ooo I feel. finn could have had his life as a human and lived with his parents, but he would have possibly died during the plague, and he’d have never had all the amazing adventures that made him who he is. anyway finn’s kinda my second or third favourite character now which is a significant jump from a few years ago. 

all of elements because i just dont care. highlights: skyhooks was deeply ominous and had marshmalline humming greensleaves which is pretty gay, bespoken for looked like it was gonna be shitposty but ended up making betty of all people a compelling, sympathetic, and unpredictable character… the third one had the ice kingdom which i think is my second-favourite location… cloudy i didnt like on my first rewatch but on our rewatch i learnt to appreciate it for the heart-to-heart bro chat that it was… slime central had funky skating (slime kingdom ftw) and the BEST humor in the miniseries alongside jake fucking dying, happy warrior is my least favourite of the eps but thats because it was setup for the much more magnificient hero heart which is my favourite… the reason for that is because it’s worth the most analysis and has the heaviest atmosphere. from lsp eating marceline’s face to finn holding back his fear to pb going fucking nuts and all those chilling candy zombies, this was the climax of the miniseries for sure. skyhooks II was a cooldown after the climax and a sort of resolution. it could have been better but the way i think of it, we haven’t seen all the resolution yet. highlights? lsp being the hero (lol) and pb and marcy’s kingdom-takeover song. pb’s actions in elements make me think that the power made her exemplify all her negative, controlling traits. she tried to take over the other kingdoms to make people “happy” and they ended up losing all their individuality. remind you of The Thin Yellow Line? the same sorta goes for FP but not really cos FP’s only negative trait is her awful temper.

abstract because i fucking love jake. i know some people found this ep disappointing but i did not.

ketchup for best filler ep because it looked GORGEOUS, it made me SMILE, it had backstory and the tale of what Marceline did in Elements presented in such a charming way, we even saw BMO spin a tale about her mom…  I’m heartbroken that we probably wont be seeing any more guest animated episodes because this is my favourite one yet. 

whispers. I TOO AM DOOM. *thunk thak thunk thank splat*

three buckets is the best episode in the best season of adventure time, and i think it beats out The Lich as my favourite season finale. it’s sad, it’s dark, it’s sweet, it’s hilarious, it’s ominous, theres nothing to dislike about it. my favourite part was the last few minutes starting from when fern left finn alone in the cave. he freaks out for a while which makes us wonder if he might actually die in here, then the robot arm in a surprising twist turns out to have a pb-siri that thanks finn for what hes done which is cute. and finn discovers his salvation in the rock drill and fucking weed whacker. then he fights his clone  fern now COMPLETELY off the deep end, and just when finn is giving up,  well…

“What are you doing?”

“Weed whacking!”

“…What are you?”

“A weed whacker :D”

“It doesn’t have to have this… finnality!”

“F A T A L I T Y”

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

i think the end of this ep is more defined by what isn;t said than what is said. finn is so shocked that he can’t even talk. bmo gives us one final bout of dark humor. then we switch to…. Fern……. finally free of his shell but a mere ghost of what he was…. his look of pure rage as he gets picked up by who we believe could be a scholar of Golb…. uncle fucking gumbald. 

What a DEVASTATING finale,  and what a fantastic setup for the final arc of Adventure Time!

a comment i had to make about the last few eps is: it’s suspicious that we didnt get a followup for PB after Elements. but even though Peebles wasn’t in these eps, she didn’t feel absent either. especially with Marceline’s story in Ketchup, Fern’s remembering what he did in Whispers, and literally everything in the last 3 minutes of Three Buckets, i feel that there’s something big building up for her. we’ve yet to see the consequences Elements had on PB who was out of everyonne the most dangerous elemental, the one who took her powers to the furthest extreme. considering what happened in Jelly Beans Have Power, iiiii expect this followup to be soon. maybe it’ll be big? maybe it’ll be quiet. either way i look forward. and if i’m disappointed? well it’s happened before.

altogether season 8 is my favourite in the show for obvious reasons. i dont think season 9 has the possibility of topping it but i really cant wait to see what we get next either way, just in case it manages to be even better.  

no matter how adventure time ends, though, i think it’s going to hold a place in my heart for a long time.

[twunkhector]

1, 2, 4, 5, 9, and 10. go off 👀

 okay im gunna mostly tick to the dctv universe for this but i may stray

me: “dctv universe” its mostly legends and some flash lbr bc its late and i have alcohol in my system what is other tv 

salty ask list (answers under the cut, obviously)

#1 what otps in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

okay theres a lot of little crackships where i just yeah that can stay in the far depths of the sea over THERE bc wyd with that 

one i will get into is c*ldatom i just,,,,,,,, i do enjoy their interacts i think theyre entertaining and what not but i just dont really see the romantic link between them at all its p puzzling to me really. like i can see them being tolerated teammates at best but thats about as far as that relationship branches in my eyes. len was ultimately willing to let ray die at the oculus and i think that speaks for itself

#2 are there any popular fandom otps you only brotp?

i don’t know that its popular persay but captain canary??? i just really dig them as bros gaying it up throughout time no need for this unnecessary romance forced into it like begone demon

also vixenwave. is that popular again? im not sure. like its not that i would have hated if that actually became canon but i just think they are better suited as friends i hope they develop that bond a lot more in season three

um all of team flash basically (excluding iris + barry). but yeah everyone else like romance is just….i dont see it. theyre great friends and they care about each other but without the romance involved. 

not dc related but personally for me i only brotp like all of the fellowship i dont care if other people ship them like you do you (depending on that particular ship…….no frodoxgandalf nastiness out there ya hear) but yeah personally i just view them as friends i.e. the hobbits and the three hunters etc 

#4 do you have a notp in your fandom? are they a popular otp?

im not sure that they are popular i dont really know how to gage that but???? i guess a few actually lmao like that i havent mentioned already c*ldflash and sn*wbarry is that even the name??? also shipping either cisco or caitlyn with mick or len like nah that has crossed a line goodbye

#5 has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

yeah so when the fandom uses a ship to demonize other characters for really shitty and fucked up reasons that actually dont even make sense in addition its like HA okay yall are fucked and you cant stop associating that one ship with those shitty connotations and thoughts and its like :/ i literally dont ever wanna see these characters ever interact again like yall nasty smh

#9 most disliked character(s)? why?

oh boy all of the legends like bye yall

okay stein,,,,,,,,,,,,its not that i HATE him but,,,,he really fcuking gets my goat. especially since legends started hes just OVERLY cocky and really doesnt learn from his shitty behaviour often enough and will revert right back to it after he does learn from it and its like wyd u old dick take a nap like GOD stop talking down to everyone 

rip really ticks me off like 99% of the time there were points in season 2 where i didnt MIND him but most of the time im like,,,,,,yeah bye 👋 he also has an ego issue and Never Forgot “IQ of meat”

eobard can choke i genuinely find him boring af and he was useless imo

carter? also garbage dont go near me or kendra ever again (mon el is in this category as well nasties im not even getting into these)

um i can honestly say ive never found a version of HR that i didnt find annoying Noah Fence but he just isnt funny to me or endearing i just i could live without him 

to jump away from legends, tbag???????? like no. HARD NO. i hate him. ill always hate him. i can understand the purpose of his character in a show of that nature but i will never give a fuck about him or his redemption. 

i dont wanna say lj but,,,,,,,I DONT HATE LJ HE JUST EXHAUSTS ME 

jacob can also Die if for nothing else but that kiss in 5x07 where he shoved his tongue repetitively into sara’s mouth im still gagging from that

#10 most disliked arc? why?

oh boy its prison break time 

FIRST OF ALL veronica donovan dying like that? i know its not an arc but it was stupid and i hate the writers for essentially deciding only one of the females could live and that they were interchangeable like FUCK you and FUCK you again 

second all of season 4? no. dumb. the whole theyre not actually brothers plot line with how Shitty christina was i hated it and it exhausted me and i just thought it was a plot twist that didnt need to happen also did i mention i Hate her

third any redemption arc for tbag like i said hes fucking dead to me and i think hes way past the point of redemption and i just really am not interested in seeing that happen whatsoever (i.e. s2+ like bye)

also i wont lie i am quite side eye at the arc for snart in legends season 1 (and 2 if we are being honest but i dont wanna get started on doomworld it is LATE – one small thing, len calling mick a dog? bye 👋), as well as micks. i dont really like the way theyve developed the characters from the beginning of s1 to the end of s1 i think it was done a little sloppy like they didnt have the time to really do it properly and it was a little bit out of character anyways in some portions 

as well like i said they didnt really have the time to develop that relationship enough to the point to really break it down substantially as they could have it almost reminded me of doing civil war in one mcu movie with only 6 of the avengers present and the shitty mcu writing of them not really seeming like they like each other a whole lot for most of the time like show us SOMETHING MORE that would suggest this could happen

flash point. i dont like this. i am, for the most part, not a fan. i think its negatives way outweigh its positives, the few it has. 

julian? i also found his whole,,,,,,,,,existence for more than a mere few episodes redundant and uncomfortable. also like p much everything with caitlyn has been pretty,,,no……. like why 

must i even touch on mon el entering our lives and james olsen being viciously side swiped? probably not. 

[drunkenough2write]

Sober at 8:58 am

Ive started to numb everything out, push everyone else thats left away. I havent talked to Kaylee in about two months, or the guys in a few days, ive been avoiding anish and Molly and you and i obviously havent talk in a while. I had a moment yesterday i was doing ...something... and i started thinking about you, i let that numb thing go for a minute and i just kept saying “i love you Michael” over and over and i dont know what im doing. i dont know if i want you because im bored with him or because youre the one im supposed to spend the rest of my life with. i dont know if you and i are good for eachother or if we just romanicize the fuck out of eachother to the point weve tricked our minds into believing that we belong together, i dont know if those late nights spent in your arms, or those car rides with our fingers intertwined and the windows down meant nothing or meant everything. ive spent endless hours closing my eyes just so that i can picture your face, i have a hundred pictures of you i cant convince myself to delete. Everything makes me think of you, music and movies and people on social media, i think about what youd do when im scream singing in my car, windows down and crazy hair and music i havent listened too since middleschool, i think about you standing behind me in the shower and laying next to me in bed, i think about you shooting me looks across the isles of grocery stores and gas stations, i think about you picking at your nails and the warts on your fingers while i drive and roll my eyes at you, i think about you when i get high, how you get so paranoid, how you get a look in your eye like youre all alone and the worlds a stimulation trying to break you down and invade your inner thoughts and you look at me and i wonder if you trust me and i just want to wrap you in my arms and kiss your face and let you know that i got you no matter what. I dream about you, your long hair and jaw line, lanky body and strong arms, i dream about you walking in and the rest of the world falling away, you being all that i see and all that i know and nothing else in the world mattering even the smallest bit. Im scared Bugs, im scared of losing you, im scared of losing me, im scared that he will come back and i will pick him and one day ill wake up from yet another Michael dream and think “what the fuck am i doing?” but be so deep into it that theres nothing i can do, and im scared ill pick him and one day he will stop picking me and im scared that i cant love anyone. I spent years being the girl a guy could love, i perfected it, manipulated every boy i met into becoming obsessed with me, tricking their minds to the point i was all they thought about and i never got caught, i played boy after boy perfecting my actions and it worked. Ramon was so invested i didnt even notice, all his friends knew about me, he told them he was falling in love with me and all i thought about at the time was how he had a weird sex face and it didnt feel serious, then there was London, the boy who flirted with me in highschool and told me i was going to marry him and then years later told me i was ugly in highschool, so i convinced him nobody could understand him like i did, i let him be a douche bag, and make every possible stupid mistake he could and told him that he was amazing regardless, i supported all of  his dreams even though i thought they were dumb and far far out of reach all while entertaining others. At the same time i was sleeping with two frat guys in different frats that hated eachother and i made them both believe they were the hottest guys id ever seen and the best lays any girl could have all the while one looked like hed never stepped outside and was not packin and the other had a nice body but a jew nose and lasted like 4 minutes everytime, and they both faded out eventually. Then i reconnected with Reese and unfortunately he had been in the game longer and saw past the face i put on, he reached into my heart and plucked at the parts he knew would give him a safe place and i fell for it. i became his escape from home and work, he would come over at 3 am after work and slip into my bed and play his music and we’d fall asleep and id wake in the morning and leave for class and come back to him leaving, There was one night i was convinced he had real feelings for me. he was hanging with preston and their friend ethan who had moved out of state and came to visit, Preston went to ASU and lived in dorms near mine. They went to a strip club and then got super drunk and went back to prestons room, Reese called me and let me know he was still coming over at about midnight and Preston stole his phone saying he wouldnt make it and i just laughed at them and said id be up for a while if he changed his mind, even though i was so tired i couldve slept for an unholy amount of hours. i got a few snapchats from his snap that preston took of reese’s head in the toilet and figured he wouldnt be coming over, but i stayed up for a little while and then i got a call at 5 am he slurred his words trying to tell me he was coming and that he was lost but escaped Prestons room, Preston and ethan eventually found him and got on the phone trying to figure out where i lived, i told them and came out to meet them, Sophmore year of highschool i had a class with both Reese and Preston but i dont think either of them knew i had existed at the time. when i walked out they all looked at me and Reese looked so sad, red eyes and tears on his cheeks, he almost tripped over his own feet into my arms, i hugged him and looked back at his friends, they told me to take care of him, i smiled and took him back to my room. i put his stuff in the closet and helped him change and he followed me into bed, his arms around me (something he never did) and he cried, told me i was all he cared about, said all these things and passed out and for the first time since meeting him i felt like he wanted me for me, but i was wrong, i was a safe spot, a hidden island where he could get away from the rest of the world and eventually he met someone else. then on new years i got a snapchat from kaylees younger sister asking if it would be okay if she gave my snap to her cousin ransom whom i had only met a few times, i said sure and his first snap said he was gonna make me his. i laughed, i liked when guys were forward, unfortunately that was one of the only things i liked about him, over the next month i played with him, careful not to break him entirely, he tried to get me to take his virginity and him being the mormon cousin to my childhood mormon best friend i knew i couldnt and then one day i got a snap from some guy i met on tinder, his name was Alex Decker, he hyped me up on snap all the time and i was on shrooms so i responded, asked why he was always nice to me he said “why not?” we talked a little and eventually i invited him over we hung with my friends, i got free tickets to a suns game and we all went and we took our first selfie and i didnt pull my tricks, because he wasnt like every other guy that walked my way and stuck their tongue down my throat after talking to me for 15 minutes we hung out probably 7 times before he kissed me, i had convinced myself he was gay or just not interested and let down my gaurd, we were watching Game of Thrones, the Episode where you learn about Horridor and the reason behind his name, and i started crying and he made a joke and i punched his arm out of sadness and he kissed me, it moved pretty fast after that, he asked me to be his girlfriend on Valentines day, 12:04 am - we decided to say it was the 13th instead, didnt want to be cheesy, he brought me roses the next day and we dated for a while, i pushed and pulled every day, pushed him away only to ask him to come back hours later, i was a bad girlfriend, a bad friend, and when i ended things i was more scared of losing his family then him. I went to California for spring break and he spent the night before i left and he found my stash on notebooks and read everything, went through my poetry books and found which ones i dedicated to other boys and other loves and he went crazy, he read every secret and every lie and he told me living in my head was the worst place to live and he sent me pictures of everything that made him mad and he spent 9 hours in my room going through everything and i was so angry i redownloaded tinder, figuring id end things when i got home and then came Remmington. When i got back to Arizona we threw a party at my house and a bunch of people came over, he had written me a letter and got so drunk he let Colden read it to the room, it was horrible, i got obnoxiously drunk and ended up blacking out and then passing out on the bathroom floor and Alex took care of me all night. i was going to therapy at the time and one day on the day before my therapy day i had a huge art project due and had to pull an all nighter after pulling one the night before and he told me he would stay over and help me and we would take shifts and he’d shade stuff while i slept and id do whatever else i needed to do and i said that that was fine, when it was my turn to sleep i fell fast asleep and woke up to him sitting next to me on the bed crying, confused i got up and hugged him and he started rambling about how he couldnt do it and just losing his shit, he wasnt making any sense so i got him water and made him lay down and once he fell asleep i got up and did the rest of my project until 10 am the next day i went to class and then alex gave me a ride to therapy and picked me up after, he took me to my favorite restaurant in arizona and then we went to the batting cages and a few days later i ended things and he still stuck around for a while, even while i was talking to remmington, then i found out about the STD stuff and remington made me feel like trash and got a bunch of his friends to bag on me too. after that i dropped everyone, i didnt care, i took londons virginity and i didnt care about anything else and Molly and i started hanging out more and more and then one day i drove past the gilbert temple and parked in front of a house across the street from the mormon church and a lanky boy in a white sweatshirt and a dad hat hopped in the car with molly and i and i was a total bitch to him until we stopped to eat and he said his dad worked on heavy equipment and molly got distracted and i thought this boy was 20 and he was 17 and my heart swooned. that was the day i met you. You surprised the hell out of me. everytime i talked to you all the games and tricks and all the bullshit id been using stopped existing and i had butterflies and lost words and a smile i couldnt get rid of. and boy was it a whirlwind. and the world started and ended and spiraled and now we are here. wheres here? i have no fucking idea. all i know is that i want someone to see me, see my crazy and my annoying and my insecurities and see everything good and bad and love me, and for the past year ive met 3 boys that do and in my luck ive found so much heartache and so much dissapointment. because M i dont deserve any of you and if i could cut myself in half and give all my love to each of you i would, but i cant. and what do i do when you wake up and realize i was only worth the chase? what happens when its finally us and im not everything you figured i would be? and life isnt everything you thought it would be with me? what then?

[raequaza]

Hello. It is I. The ask anon. You know by now what im gonna say. The whole 91, my dude! The good ol whole 91!

Oh dear ask anon, I wish I knew who you were XD you give me such entertainment from these!!

Answers under the cut because this is a general SFW blog XD

NSFW ASKS ahead! Don’t read if ya really don’t wanna know

1:When did you lose your virginity?

Erm I guess that depends on your definition of virginity. If you mean when was the first time I had anything inside me (toys) then that was like college? So 4 years ago? If you mean when I let someone else touch me in a sexual manner (fingers), then last year?(And if you mean been fucked by someone, toys or dick, then negative)

2: Rough sex or soft sex?

I’m a sensual person, so I do like it soft, but I don’t think I’d be opposed to some rough sex either. 

3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes?

I don’t really know if I’d call it a fetish or a kink, but I do find male ejaculation quite fascinating. 

4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex?

Nah, I’m pretty vanilla. Couches or beds. Nothing special

5: Favourite sex position?

I don’t really have one...I guess whatever position hits all the right spots the best XD

6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive?

Dominant.

7: Have you ever had any one night stands?

Negative

8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor?

Preferable to beds for comfort. I have a shitty back XD

9: Have you ever had sex in a public place?

Nooo. Touched/been touched in sexual manner in a public space, but if didn’t go further than a touch.

10: Have you ever been caught masturbating?

Ah yeah probs. But like as a child, as weird as that sounds. Freud was onto something with his psychosexual stages, so I think most children have touched themselves and realized it felt good without really realizing they were masturbating XD

But as far as masturbating as a teen/adult, then nope!

11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like?

Ooh I mean 99% of all my underwear is sexy. But I really love my black and red pairs. Especially the new pair of red and black panties I got with the peek-a-boo back ;)

12: How often do you have sex?

Noooot often. 

13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with?

yes.  NOPE

14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?

Giving. Absolutely giving.

15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex?

I don’t think I have anything really embarrassing. I’m not often embarrassed in the moment.

16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex?

Uuuh idk Fantasy by Mystery Skulls? Works for both I suppose

Talk like That by The Presets

Maybe S&M by Rhianna or Bruises and Bitemarks by Good with Grenades

17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex?

Forevermore by Broken Iris

Find a way by Safetysuit maybe?

18: Are you into dressing up for sex?

Not really in a costume/roleplay kinda way, but anything sexy as in clothes or lingerie, absolutely

19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower?

SHOWER. Defs my kink

20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be?

HahahahahahahamycrushHahahahahahahaha

21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you?

Erm, hard to say. I’d never join a couple who wanted to have a threesome, but if i was in a relationship and both my partner and I agreed, maybe??

22: Do you/would you use sex toys?

Have. Used.

23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture?

You bet!

24: Would you have sex with your best friend?

Which one!? I have 4 XD But being specific for my bestest best friend, nah. I love her to death but like family, you know?

25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink)

Clean up. Cuddle a bit

26: Something that will never fail to get you horny?

Hmm I guess just being with the person I like in that way? Having someone tell me what they want me to do to them is nice too

27: Early morning sex or late night sex?

I’m a late night person in general, soooo. Though theres something wrong with morning sex

28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex?

Always been a sucker for people’s eyes. They express so much.

But I guess hands as well

29: Favourite body part on the same sex?

See above. Its the same

30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

Nothing really. Even my toys aren’t really all that hidden. If people are snooping through my shit they best be prepared for that they might find

31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:

Nah nothing weird.

32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]

Indeed. I think most people have? Human beings are inherently curious creatures

33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:

Maybe if I’m in a relationship with a dude and we talked about it. But generally I don’t have to worry about that because women XD

34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:

NOOOOPE. I do not include food (or kitchens) in my sex adventures. I am a chef, and I just can’t bring myself to mix work and sex

35: Worst possible time to get horny:

AT WORK.

36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?

God yes. Super hot, and it lets me know I’m doing good.

37: How much fapping is too much fapping:

Um...I guess if you’re making yourself raw from fapping, then you should stop. 

38: Best sexual complement you ever got:

Not a verbal one but just getting my partner off so good that they can’t function or speak for a few moments is awesome XD

39: Favorite foreplay activities:

Soft kisses I suppose? Light touches

40: What do you wear to bed?

Depends on the weather or my health. I generally wear nightgowns (not sexy ones) all year round. But if its too cold then I have flannel pants. Right now I’m sick so I’ve got a thick shirt, flannel pants, socks, and a flannel blue plaid overshirt

41: When was the first time you masturbated:

Uhh see above for psychosexual stages, so probably 4? But as an actual act that I acknowledged I was doing, I think 14 or 15.

42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

Nooooo. I hate all pictures and videos of myself, so I definitely don’t keep em.

43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?

Again, see above for touching in public spaces, but never had sex outside.

44: Have/would you ever have sex in public?

See above. But in general no

45: Have/would you ever had a threesome?

Didn’t I already answer this question?

46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

Bahaha I slim lotion bottle

47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?

Have seen both. Porn doesn’t do much for me though. Gay porn watching has pretty well all been for research for writing purposes XD

48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not)

Giving is great, but receiving I’m still on the fence about.

49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

I like tattoos on anyone, interest or not. Tattoos are neat

50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?

I’d feel happy I suppose? That someone trusts me enough to want to do that with me.

51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

All of them...

52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

Pornstart

53: Do you watch porn?

I have watched porn but again it’s generally for research when I’m writing XD

54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?

Yes, and because people are mean. 

55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?

In my own home, sure. Outside of my house, no.

56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?

Been there, done that. Not a big deal. General preference for shaving but hey to each their own. 

57: If you could give yourself head, would you?

Nah

58: Booty or Boobs?

Oooh booty I think.

59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

No

60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do?

Omg hahaha. I would absolutely masturbate, walk around at night alone (yay more safe), and um...yeah that’s pretty much it XD

61: have you ever watched someone masturbate?

Mhm I have

62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate?

Yeeeah

63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?

Well I don’t have a penis, so no XD

64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate)

Depends on time and place mostly. Usually just fingers. I never get myself off because I get bored really quick but thats ok.

65. What is your bra/penis size?

34 DD

66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?

See above for lotion bottle

67. When was the last time you masturbated?

idk last week or something?

68. When was the last time you had sex?

A while

69. When was the last time you watched porn?

month ago??

70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?

First toy I bought...I think was my warming vibe? Last one I bought was a rabbit

71. Guys:Circumsized?

N/A

72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?

My waist I think? 

73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?

Well, my vagina XD I don’t have a lot of feeling in my boobs

74. Girls:Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?

Fuuuuck no.

75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?

Haha I have yeah. Twas something along these lines though.

76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?

Couple days ago? 

77. Which wet dream was your favorite?

I never remember my dreams

78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?

See question 20

79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?

Nah not really. I gotta be really into a person to wanna have sex with them.

80. Favorite sexual position?

I answered this i’m pretty sure

81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?

No

82. Are you into any BDSM?

I mean I think a little light bondage play would be fun (me tying them up, not the other way around) but that’s about it XD

83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?

Yes. Because it was not an option to me.

84. Do you like dirty talk?

Uh yeah, it can be fun

85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?

I’m quiet

86. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?

Hahaha sort of? Had to take some time to readjust after knocking one of my ex’s figures over off her headboard. We were laughing pretty hard XD 

87. What kind of porn do you like to watch?

Whatever porn I need for what I’m writing.

88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?

Not someone I wasn’t in a sexual relationship with

89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them?

Nah

90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?

I think I answered this one too. It’s a no

91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?

Nooooooo...................