#these are absolute shite 👍 but he pretty

[furys-mercy]

👍 = Does your muse think they’re a good child and/or sibling?

Mercer doesn't even look up from his work. He simply gives one gruff little shake of his head "Nah. I ain't neither'a those thin's." The torch in his hand sparks to life. "An' no... I really don't wanna be tellin' ya why."

((Thanks for the ask @mimble-sparklepudding! Mercer isn't going to go into a ton of detail here because it's pretty personal and very painful. So, I'll do it for him. Mercer struggles with believing that he is "good". So when asked if he's a good partner, child, sibling, friend, etc... he's going to say no. Because in his mind he can, absolutely, always do better. However, being a good sibling or a good child are the most difficult two for him to discuss.

He doesn't believe himself to be a good child for a multitude of reasons, but there are two main ones.

The first is that he knows that he intentionally gave up the memories he had of his mother during a ritual that bound the core of his lead drone to his soul. While he can't bring himself to actually regret this decision, he does believe that it makes him a shite son.

The second reason is that he has yet to do anything to avenge the death of his father. He's aware that his death was orchestrated as revenge, but he has yet to dig into it far enough to find out who exactly was involved. He absolutely thinks that it is his job to do that, but really doesn't want to dive face first into Ishgardian politics to get it done. So, he thinks of himself as a coward.

As for how he sees himself as a sibling? It's probably worse. He had a lot longer to actually be a sibling. Plenty of time to fuck up. Which he did. Over and over and over again. But the worst fuck up was leaving his elder sister behind in Ishgard only to return and find that she had vanished without a trace. He's done everything he can think of to try to reach out to her, to find her, but has gotten nowhere. Which has led him to believe that she is dead. And that she died alone. And that is something he will never forgive himself for.

His relationship with Sebastian is decidedly better because he's trying to put more work into it. He's trying to work through his issues and be a decent brother, but that comes with a lot of guilt. He beats himself up constantly for being willing to put in the effort with Bash, but not having done it with April. And also for essentially replacing her with Sebastian.

Now, I only did biological relationships here, but Mercer does have an adopted mother and a soon-to-be sister-in-law who is as good as a sister, but those relationships are usually far more functional and he doesn't tend to dwell on them as much. Though, he'd still tell you that he is a bad son to Sari and a bad brother to Lazne.

TLDR: He thinks he sucks. :P

Thanks again for the ask!))