#these are just my tired thougjts from almost 10 am. when ive stayed awake so long my eyes are bloodshot

[echidna-auxiliatrix]

Incoherent vent post incoming

I really do fucking hate being a lesbian, ace-spectrum, and autistic. It makes existing on this website so damn hard. It's like these groups are always fucking against each other. "If you use aspec then youre ableist and also asexuals stole #actuallyautistic". Thats something ive heard over and over from certain dumbasses on the exclusionist side trying to use autistics as pawns in this stupid fucking discourse. I'm almost completely neutral on ace discourse at this point and damn every time I read something about it my blood fucking boils. Aspec never fucking meant autism. Aces didnt steal the #actually____ tags from us or anyone else. Those tags are meant to be a safe space for people who's main tags might be unsafe (ex. The autism tag being full of anti vaxxers and ableist and the asexual tag being flooded with porn) it seems like the same number of autistic people are on both sides of the discourse but neither side will quit using us as their pawns. Lesbians and asexuals constantly pit themselves against each other which I fucking hate. Certain aces say lesbophobic shit like constantly saying that lesbians are terfs and derailing lesbian positivity posts to talk about terfs and that one person who literally said anyone who uses the lesbian label is a terf. And lesbians saying shit abt aces like the whole "turbo virgins" deal and the whole "asexy" thing and shutting down ace headcanons. The truth is that lesbians and female aces (and I use female to mean woman not afab ppl) have more in common than we do different and we need to confront that and fucking get our shit together. Another thing that bothers me is how because autistic ppl are more likely to be asexual than allistics inclusionists can seem like theyre trying to protect autistics when honestly? The majority of ppl in this stupid discourse are allistics using us as pawns. And I know there are autistics on both sides and yeah y'all have your reasons and whatever but just please know that at the end of the day allistics ESPECIALLY neurotypical allistics are our oppressors and at any other point in history they wouldve gladly called us a bunch of retards. Aspec has never been a thing for autism and this comes from someone whos been lurking in the community since 2008 as a scared 8 year old little girl. I remember going on wrongplanet for a few minutes a week when I got home from school in 3rd grade just reading threads. Lesbians and aces (again, especially female aces) have to come together because tbh y'all dont realize the damage it does to people like me. Ill find a seemingly cool ace blog only to find out they're a garden variety liberal lesbophobe. Ive found many a lesbian blog thats violently aphobic. Like I just stumbled on a post from a person begging for help to pay their medical bills and I went onto their blog to see how theyve been doing recently and like. So much violent malicious intent towards asexuals...I just dont get it. In not welcome on either fucking side because each side hates one part of my identity. Just fucking stop it and be respectful you bunch of Dumbass freaks.

Tl;dr existing on tumblr is difficult for me as an autistic ace lesbian because both sides of ace discourse use autistics as pawns and the inclusionists hate lesbians and the exclusionists hate aces.

Ultimately, if I *had* to pick a side I'd still pick inclusionism because at the end of the day I believe aces and aros are inherently lgbt.