#these hairplugs look so bad on him

[goongiveusnothing]

He looks so ugly 💀 his face is so puffy like he’s been drinking for the past three months or so lol

https://x.com/updatehld/status/1788874717518078056?s=46

his face really does look PUFFY

he looks like a bloated rodent

[kadyshackkk-blog]

Final Reckoning Episode One Review plus a little info from seasons past.

Hello World! Mtv’s Hit The Challenge Returned Tuesday July 10, 2018 at 9pm! This season is “the end of the challenge as we know it”. Which as of right now I’m calling total b.s. since well mtv the last few season has been “recreating” older seasons ie; The Challenge Invasion of the champions, a very sad and terrible attempt to recreate the iconic The Ruins. Then we went into Dirty 30, the longest season in existence and a horrible rip off of Free Agents which in my opinion was the last great season of the show. In the dirty 30 we had something called the purge aka lets fuck Darrell over and allow a bunch of idiots to run the show. Yes I am still bitter because Darrell was robbed out of a title that season and instead our winners were a racist and an anti feminist douche lord, I mean Camila and Jordan. Then we slide into Vendettas after that tragic second season of Champs V stars, which we won’t even talk about since it was a bunch of d list celebrities who i didnt even know and well the terrell owens aka the biggest bitch in the nfl. Moving along, on Vendettas we received a much needed invasion of new people from big brother and mtv uk! Be warned I have never watched mtv Uk shows or any big brother so I had zero idea who these people were but I was excited to see them! We also got from season 5 of are you the one Kam, Eddie, and Alicia. I loved that season of ayto and the people they chose to come onto vendettas made total sense. But what didn’t make any sense at all was the poor get rid of eddie they did. Now I will only say this once and the source that told me this is very credible since he was on their season of ayto he also doesn’t like either person involved however he dislikes eddie more. Simple fact is Alicia Lied, plan and simple. There was never a restraining order or anything of that nature. You can look it up online its public information in every state. Moving on from that, the additions from the uk were all very attractive, and before you gasp and say even Kyle?! Yes even Kyle , I feel like he looks better in person then he does on tv. The fights that season we’re beyond annoying . This was my face anytime Kailah or nicole spoke or were on my tv screen  

I give them both a chance every season they are on but they always make me regret giving said chance. The luggage throwing incident pissed me the fuck off. & Before you all go WeLL cArA dID iT To JOrdAn guess what she put a waterproof bag of his clothes in water omg get over it. Jemmeye Kailah & Britni Ganged up on kayleigh because of a rumor about her and bananas that Devin started to get Johnny thrown into elimination. It was not okay, it is never okay to touch someone elses belongings ever. I do not care, her stuff was broken and none of the actual apologized for it. 

Now for what you came for my review of the Challenge Final Reckoning Episode 1

First off I was hoping this season was a team season sadly it was just a rip off of the Rivals series which was only decent for rivals 1 and 2. Rivals 3 was ridiculous and a waste of time and energy. In the beginning we see everyone show up and Tj is all like guess what your partner is buried and you have to find them! oh and the last two teams will be sent home ending their time in south africa. Me as a view knowing damn well tj is full of shit 

We see Zach dig up his partner Amanda first. Listen I was very excited to hear that Amanda was coming back this season! I really was until all the twitter beef with cara, and unless you’ve been living under a rock you know exactly what I am talking about. (hint him and amanda won the challenge wooooooooh)

Here is everyones partnerships.

Zach & Amanda; Their beef seems a little forced since it’s about Amanda “making up” lies about jenna that even jenna confirmed was true. This team will go far if Zach learns how to work well with women.

Angela & Faith; I honestly don’t understand their beef, really over tor’i really. irrelevant ass team. Angela doesn’t have that same energy she did with Alicia when it comes to Shane and Kam. They won’t go far unless someone (cough cough angela sleeps with someone in power, pulling a veronica in the ruins when she hooked up with my favorite toothbrush twin evan.)

Dj Bald I mean Brad & hair plugs pathological liar I mean kyle; THIS TEAM MAKES ZERO SENSE YALL DEADASS MADE SOME SHIT UP. UHM HELLOOO DARRELL TAYLOR DID NOT WHOOP THAT ASS ON THE RUINS FOR ZERO REASON. Like mtv please stop calling kyle , he literally makes me want to stab him daily.

Cara & Marie; Listen these two have serious dislike for each other over a fucking tweet cara liked & it makes sense they are together. I honestly think this team will do well if Marie Actually fucking tries which i think she will. Tbh marie did campaign to be caras Partner.. However I feel like we as viewers deserved a coral cara team. Those two are both very strong women who need to work out their issues and become civil because I personally love them both.

Ct & Veronica; An og team, ct called v weak but she won more daily challenges then the majority of the girls on dirty 30 . A team to actually fear if they try and win 

Derrick & Tori; Yasssss my boo derrick is back!!!!!! Don’t tell tyler but i adore derrick and think hes amazing. I really like tori as well but her taste in men is just as questionable as mine. Back story tori cheated on derrick with jordan. therefor they don’t like each other.

Bananas & ??? : THIS LITERALLY COULD BE ANYBODY. I’m hoping its sarah so he can break his curse and retire because honestly no one can touch his record unless Landon came out of retirement or if production doesn’t keep fucking over darrell

Joss & Sylvia the sheep; Joss is Hot , and he voted sheep into the elimination and she got mad. damn well knowing she would’ve done the same thing. they do great.

Kam & Melissa; I love this team, this “rivalry” started over a misunderstanding I’m hoping they do well...

Natalie & Paulie; I don’t care enough to waste my time

Nelson & Shane; I’m actually started to like nelson, my dislike for him comes from my loyalty to tyler.. I love shane he is the sassy gay bff that I need in my life. This team will do well if nelson and shane both keep themselves in check

Mama Day & Jozea; I’ve never watched big brother but this team is by far my favorite big brother pairing, I follow both on twitter and they make me laugh daily. underdogs i stan

Britni & Chuck; The hotmess express team. Clearly still feelings there, chuck sucks for what he did to her, they will need to find a way to get past their issues

Jenna & Jemmeye; One of the best moves in challenge history caused this feud. they will do well, jemmeyes brain and jennas brawn.

Kailah & Kayleigh; Failah likes to bully others kayleigh was her victim last season. they’ll probably be out pretty early..

Now to the results of the challenge

Amanda and Zach won.

I’m not to sure about the rest of the order except for the fact Day & Jozea came in last but before jem & Jenna and Chuck & britni.

it was chucks fault him and brit lost 

it was jennas fault her and jem lost

but was anyone really in shock

So then we hear bananas yelling for help since his partner left due to family emergency everyone goes digs him up and if it was up to me he wouldve been sent “home” and not brit and chuck since they almost beat day and jozea.. after they get bananas hoe ass out tj announces that amanda and zach are able to send another team home! And out of all the teams these two dumb asses pick day and jozea. like uhm helllooooooo!!! ya’ll deadass had the chance to send send strong teams home... I can’t the stupidity of these two i can’t. SO  then the three teams leave and “go home”. Everyone goes to the house and already a fight breaks out between shane and angela, over a fucking shelf. Homegirl didn’t have the energy with shane like she did with Alicia , but we already knew she was a fraud. Then cut to outside where Joss and amanda are already flirting with each other. I will give credit is due, Amanda is a beautiful girl but has a very ugly soul and joss is very smart to hookup with her, camera time is everything and why not hook up with one of the most dramatic cast members ever. Cut to Syliva saying this could go great for her alliance or terribly for her alliance at least shes smart. The Que the amanda and joss makeout session. Then we cut to bananas cara and hair plugs talking about cara and kyle. Everything out of kyles mouth is a lie and garbage. Kyle states hes gonna sleep with other people and caras like cool whatever . The cut to faith and hairplugs making out, then faith gets into hottub and johnny being johnny brings it up in front of cara, and cara pulls a queen move by being like if he doesnt want me im not gonna wait around. boy bye best choice shes ever made. Then baby girl proceeded to go into a room and make herself look bad by trying to get at paulie. Like oh no baby what is you doing go to sleep and leave him alone..

Then we cut to the best part of the night in my opinion, first we see melissa walk in and try to be civil with kailah, failah wants zero part in it but melissa still tries because melissa wants to be nice then failah pushes melissa and melissa molly whopped her then they were pulled apart 

Everyone but kailah stans on twitter 

Then the teams who were “sent home” arrive at the redemption house and tj explains some shit i wasn’t paying attention because i didnt care at that point 

Then they go to the photoshoot day and Tj shows up which is never good..

Tells melissa and kailah they are both out ..

Now we dont know kam and kayleighs fate, we find out next week..

Over all this episode was awesome , the cliffhanger was needed , we had a fight some hook ups and a twist.

this season will be interesting to say the least. 

[yakumtsaki]

last giant batch of ratings! ty all for playing my dudes

Johnny/Ripp: 8/10

hmmmm i havent even considered this b4. its def cute but i feel like it would end in disaster without the balancing power of Oph?? and u kno, why go J/R when u can go J/R/O. i like it tho, it would make for a good coming of age desert road trip movie. like Y Tu Mamá También

Dirk/Angela: over my dead body/10

the fact that maxis put hot ass Dirk with Lilith was offensive enough but then u go and couple him with the even lamer twin. no way in hell. to answer the other anon’s q re: Dirk headcanons, i mean do u even need headcanons to love him? orphaned from his mom and stuck with a useless artist dad that doesnt pay his bills but still an ambitious go-getter who works super hard and looks good doing it. i mean compare the maturity and class of his bio with that of fucking toddlers Lilith and Ang. also embarrassingly too hot for them

Darren/Dina: 10/10

i.am. crying. u literally cant pay enough for this comedy material. avant-garde snob Darren high on shrooms talking about soviet constructivism while Dina is digging through Darleen’s jewel boxes

Dina/Malcolm: 10/10

perfection <3 as u may kno i love Malcolm ever since i married him to Vic back in the Union days of old. i see Malc as someone with absolutely no depth but like proud of that fact. i think he and Dina would be a total mess like madly-in-love-jealous-of-everything-that-breathes-throwing-fine-crystal-ashtrays-at-each-other and im here for it

Bella/Mortimer: ugh/10

the iconic ts1 version gets an obvious 10. ts2 version gets an eyeroll and a dramatic sigh. as we’ve already covered ts2 Mort is the absolute worst and the death of all good things. does Bella deserve better than a pyromaniac who has a positive memory of her abduction and, lbr, probably orchestrated it? and also looks like Darren Aronofsky? well the decision is up to u. as far as im concerned the only ship Mort deserves is that viking funeral one they light on fire. u kno what im talking about

Dina/Michael: -infinity/10

CREEP ALERT. probably another unintentional maxis age fuck up but i cant get over it

Nina/Don: 7/10

much like Nina, i find myself into this against my better judgement. i wish they could work it out somehow?? they just look so good together u kno

Cass/Darren: 8/10

yea i can def see this working out. get u a woman who not only knows her soviet constructivism but prob also owns a few buildings of the trend. money problems=solved

Ripp/Rick: 5/10

I GUESS. i mean their names together sound like a horror comedy. Ripp has actual and serious problems tho, as opposed to Rick who truly does not. unless freakishly overgrown eyelashes count. so yea idt Ripp would stand for Rick’s whining.  ia with the later anon, i def see Rick and Lil hitting it off and having a messy dramafest of a relationship where they like threaten to stab each other with their gothic collectible knives but dont take them out of their mint condition boxes

Brandi/Dina: 3/10

nah dont see it. both overwhelmingly str8. if i squint really hard i can see Dina as maybe slightly bicurious but that’s as far as it goes. maybe one time after girls night out when theyre both wine drunk and Brandi is like ‘gosh, its been a long time since i had so much fun :)’ and one thing leads to another and then they never talk about it again. longshot tho

John/Erin: 6/10

not bad but im not into these ‘super-serious-dark-dude/bubbly-naive-girl’ pairs, too old hollywood for me. i like him better with hippy freakshow Natasha

Desdemona/Bottom: 9/10

CUTE. as teenage sweethearts only tho cause Desdemona is too bland for Bottom in the long run, both looks and personality-wise, and Bottom has a bright future ahead

Mercutio/Tybalt: 7/10

i feel like the stress of dealing with Tybalt would cause the Monty hair loss gene to activate in Merc’s late teens and then Tybalt would dump him for it and be like ‘call me when the hairplugs are in’

Jimmy/Erik: 10000/10 

the anon who started it all hitting us with the MOST ADORABLE SHIT. LOVE IT. the 2 mysterious lone wolves getting it on and its us against the world. somehow getting them together never occurred to me?? def keeping them in mind for when i do a uni shoot

thats it for the ratings, hope u guys had fun! back to nll-ing

[sunken-standard]

Hello not the anonymous of before. You could make one (or all, your decision) of these prompts 12, 47, 48. Thank you, I love your writing.

Thank you, Anon

“I’m pregnant.”/ “I thought itwas a one-night-stand…and now we’re married…”/ “We’vebecome the clingy couple that you used to complain about.”

“I’m still recovering.  No.”

“It wasn’t even a major surgery. There won’t be any running or climbing fences or getting shot atwhile hiding behind a hotel bar,” Sherlock said, pulling one ofMolly’s nicer (and more subtle) dresses from her wardrobe.  "Thistime.  Hopefully,“ he amended.

“Like I haven’t heard thatone before.  And, just to be clear, it was a fairly major surgery,seeing as my appendix almost ruptured and killedme.”

“Like a week ago.  You went towork yesterday.”

“I sat in my office and playedCandy Crush most of the day.”

“And that is why the NHS isin such bad shape.”

She gave him a Look, but grabbed thedress he held out.  "Don’t go far, I’ll need you to zip me.“

Sherlock, ever the gentleman, turnedhis back.  If he happened to be facing the mirror, well, that washardly his fault.

Molly shimmied on the dress and turnedher back to him.  "Zip,” she ordered, holding her hair tothe side.

Sherlock did as he was told,encountering resistance just past her lower back.  "Suck it in,“he grunted, struggling with the zip.  "Maybe lay off the Ben &Jerry’s for a bit.”

“It’s the air in my abdomen, youlump.”

“Weeelllll—”  He squintedand cocked his head.

“It is!”

The zip finally gave and he pulled itup the rest of the way.  "Put your make-up on in the cab, we’vegot a half-hour to get there and it’s in Westminster.“

*

“Oh, no thanks, I can’t.  I’mpregnant,” Molly said when their rather unpleasant dowager hosttried to push a glass of champagne on her for the thousandth time; acocktail of antibiotics and pain medication were about the only thingthat would make her turn down a drink.  "I thought it was aone-night-stand…and now we’re married…” she tittered,twisting the ring he’d given her ages ago for just such occasions.

Sherlock groaned inwardly, even if itwas a good cover.  The distension in her abdomen really did make herlook about four months gone, especially with the heels.  

“And I knew from the moment I sawyou there would never be anyone else for me,” he said with aplastic smile.  The most convincing lies started with a grain oftruth, after all.  His fingers twitched against her lower back.

*

“Probably should have got ourstory straight in the cab,” he said as they moved around thedance floor.  "Ow!  For Christ’s sake, would you stop trying tolead?“

“I can’t help it.  I went to anall-girls’ school, when we learned this it was always the taller onewho led,” she hissed.

“And you were the taller one.”he asked flatly.

“My partner was the Indonesianexchange student.”

“Mm.  Oh!  This could work.  Steerme into the one over there, midlife-crisis contemplating an affair.”

“Hair plugs?”

“That’s the one,” he said. “And hold on tight when I dip you.  I don’t need you falling andmaking a scene.  Again.”

“If I pop a stitch…”

“They’re disolvable anyway.”

He let Molly waltz him over toHairplugs and dipped her.

“Oh God, one of my boobs just fellout of my bra,” she said as he held her there while he liftedHairplugs’ phone.

“That’s what you get for goingwith demi-cup,” he said, unable to even sneak a peek because ofthe cut of her dress.

“You said there wouldn’t be anyrunning, I thought it was safe,” she said, wiggling hershoulders and arching her back when he pulled her upright.  "Yep,there we go.“

Sherlock used Hairplugs’ phone to senda text and discarded it in a potted palm on the edge of the dancefloor.  "And now we wait,” he said.

*

“At least we’re not behind the barthis time,” Sherlock said, moving the tablecloth aside to peerbetween two chairs.  

“No we are not,” Molly said,flicking the broken heel of her shoe with one finger.  "How longuntil our extraction?“

"Oh for—this isn’t a spy film. We’re not getting an extraction.”

“Wait, that’s a real thing?”

“In theory.  Usually just easierto let the agent die in the field.  Neater.”

“Remind me never to get on yourbrother’s bad side.”

“He doesn’t have any other sides. He’s like a sphere.  Ooh, I have to remember to try to work that intoconversation next time he’s on a diet.  Maybe something about a beachball, but they’re an irregular polyhedron…  Oh bollocks.  Molly, Imay have misrepresented the possibility of running.”

“I can’t run in a broken shoe!”

“Then do it barefoot.”  

“There’s glass all over thefloor!”

“They’re at the other side of thedining room and they’re checking tables.  Shift!”

*

They blended in with the other partyguests that had been herded to safety; he had yet to put Molly downbecause there was broken glass everywhere.  He supposed withno waiting staff they were just dropping their empty champagne fluteson the ground like it was Glastonbury.

And then they got cornered by the hostagain, still none-the-wiser that he was, in fact, who the Portuguesehit men had been looking for until Mycroft’s B-team finally showedup.  The old prune made some kind of sniffy comment about how darlingit was that he was so chivalrous; he had no idea how she made itsound like an insult, but she did.

“We’ve become the clingy couplethat you used to complain about,” he said, looking down at her withan expression he hoped was suitably besotted.

“Heh heh heh, oh you,”Molly said, giving his shoulder a playful not-so-little push.  Theshoulder she knew he’d banged on the table when he’d pulled her underit.  Not only was she a terrible actress, she was a terrible humanbeing.  And freakishly strong for her size, but he already knew that.

Finally he put her down and let herlean on him while she stood on the one foot with an intact shoe likea flamingo; it was either that or drop her.  He wisely refrained fromreiterating his Ben & Jerry’s comment from earlier.

*

He got the text that their car hadarrived; he carried her all the way out of the building because itwas easier than putting her down in the lobby only to pick her backup again before they exited the building.

Mycroft’s assistant was inside waiting;she pushed a pale pink shopping bag tied with a ribbon at Molly.

“What’s this?”

“Shoes.  Consider them hazardpay,” she said, actually taking the time to look up and smilebefore going back to her phone.

“Wow,”  Molly said.  "Thankyou.“

"Should be thanking me, I’m theone that brought you,” he grumped, looking out the window.

*

“You don’t need me to carry you,you have shoes now.”

“I don’t want to get them dirty.”

“They’re shoes, Molly.  Youput them on your feet so your feet don’t get dirty.”

“They’re £400shoes.  My sofa didn’t cost £400!”

“Yes, I know, I’ve sat on it. Certainly get what you pay for,” he muttered.  "Fine.“ He scooped her up and carried her up the stairs to the door.

"Don’tdisappear right away.  I’m going to need you to unzip me,” shesaid, letting them in her flat.

“Don’tworry, the only place I’m going is the bathroom.  My back is killingme—no idea why—and I need a good soak.  And I’m using the goodbath salts,” he said, unzipping her dress after she put her bagsdown.

“MyGod, we really are anold married couple,” Molly said, heading for the kitchen.  

“Skippedthe one night stand, though,” he said before he could stophimself.

“Giveme like three weeks and I’ll get back to you on that,” she said,patting her stomach.  Then she realized what she was doing.  "Maybenot the, ah, other thing, though.“

Sherlockstared at her for a moment, looking for the perfect witty rejoinder,something about that requiring more practice or… something; he cameup empty.  "Right, I’ll be in the bath if you need me.”  Assoon as the bathroom door was closed behind him, he pulled up the calendar on his phone and set a reminder for exactly three weeks inthe future.

(I cheated with this; it’s a heavilyremixed and condensed version of a scene from one of my unfinishedpost-TRF stories.)