#theserenavdw

[nathcnielarchibald]

Drunk kiss and tell | Serenate

Who: Serena van der Woodsen ( @theserenavdw​ ) & Nate Archibald

When: August 2nd, 2022

Location: A bar in Manhattan, Nate’s apartment

Summary: Serena invites Nate to get drunk with her which leads to more honest conversations, confessions and a step further than they actually intended.

Trigger Warnings: alcohol, smut

Serena: Serena couldn’t remember the last time she’d spend a day like this with Nate. The fact that she had actually convinced him to leave his work behind was remarkable all by itself. The fact that she managed to convince him to do so only to sit in a dark corner booth of a bar at mid day with drinks that should have never been consumed before dark was even more remarkable. So many things in her life were uncertain at the moment, but unsurprisingly, Nate was her constant. No matter what was happening in her marriage that wasn’t much of one anymore but also was officially only on hold, or in her life in general, she so easily gravitated towards him. Actually, the blonde had been uncertain where he stood with all of this - his reaction to her trial separation a lot more neutral than what she had expected. Leaving Manhattan for a bit certainly had been a reaction to all of that, but now, next to Nate in an establishment neither would ever frequent on a normal day, she couldn’t quite remember why she had ever wanted to leave. “I need another drink - and some food!” The blonde declared just as she emptied her last, the glass barely touching down on the wooden table before she already gestured for the waiter who, mostly because they were the only people in the bar, reluctantly made his was over. “Can we have 2 more of, well, that - !” Serena asked gesturing to their empty glasses before she added “plus, we need shots…and food. Whatever you have, we like it all!” The smile that followed was one of those charming ones that she reserved for grumpy bartender and people of authority, clearly the first one being the reason for its appearance right now. Leaning her head against her arm that was propped on the table the blonde looked back over at Nate, her smile softening into one of its most honest iterations. “I really have to be incredibly special to you, getting you to leave the office only to get drunk with me while I avoid all the renovations at my place!”

Nate: Convincing him to skip work even if it was just for a day or maybe only a couple of hours was certainly not an easy task - mostly because he always felt incredibly guilty. Almost as though he was letting the people of NYC who'd elected him as their mayor down if he for as much as a second wasn't working. He was aware that it was ridiculous and that politicians should certainly have actual time off too to rest and recharge but Nate had minimized that free time a long time ago and it was a habit that wasn't exactly easy to break. Even though he knew it wasn't really healthy. Apparently it was a little easier to break it if your name was Serena van der Woodsen though. Maybe there had been a few seconds when she'd suggested the idea of hitting up a bar so early that he'd been hesitant to join at first. Not just because they'd look like they could potentially be the kind of people who'd hit those bars up very frequently, but also because... well, he was afraid he was signing himself up for heartbreak. The kind that was actually worse than every he'd went through so far. There was a part of him that was convinced all of this was meant to go downhill soon enough, after all it had never worked out with her and she basically had easily fallen out of touch with him. Or so it felt at least. Not that he had really tried to reach out either, which was mostly due to the fact he didn't exactly feel like she wanted to be contacted. Luckily, the alcohol took all those thoughts and the little bit of anxiousness away quickly, the two easily falling into their usual teasing and lighthearted conversation topics. Weren't they truly champions at ignoring the elephant in the room? Someone should hand them a trophy. The grin that had settled on Nate's face a while ago only widened at the bartenders grumpy look, knowing that it would probably not really put the other in a better mood but at the same time hardly caring about that. Honestly, who could blame him that he didn't pay much mind to some grumpy guy when a gorgeous woman like Serena was sitting right next to him? "I think I remember you claiming something along the lines of making it your personal duty to keep my sanity in check for the rest of the month? So... I'd say I only gave you a chance to actually live up to your promise." His gaze met hers as he kind of mirrored her position, only that his chin was resting on his fist. "And it kind of feels like you're just using this apparently hardest challenge of your life as an excuse so you really don't have to take care of your place that I'm almost convinced very likely looks like a mess right now. Only because you started something but then weren't really into finishing it."

Serena: “I think it was something along the lines of your sanity suffering because I wasn’t here?” Serena quipped back without missing much of a beat, though part of her wondered if there was something about her prolonged absence that didn’t sit right with him. She knew she’d probably left town one too many times to just claim that people were overreacting whenever she went on a little trip without much of a notice, but then again he had hardly actually spoken to her either, something she had longed to change but just didn’t quite know how to. After all he had been the one to leave relatively abruptly the night she had told him that her marriage was most likely over. “No, that’s not it at all - plus I absolutely do have a decorator who is doing all the work for me…all I have to do is wait and see!” She replied grinning, the words still somewhat foreign, easier identified with those that used to come out of her mothers mouth than her own. “Plus, it’s barely afternoon and you did not voice any opposition to another round of drinks and shots, therefore whatever I’m doing right now seems to be working!” As if he had heard her the waiter put their drinks on the table, noticeable absent at this point though was any kind of smile on his face and the food they had ordered. Not that the food has been ordered for anything but to keep up appearances. “if we were any younger I’d absolutely suggest we play a very paired down version of a drinking game now, but I heard that we are all together to old for that at this point!” Sighing dramatically she blonde cracked a smile before she added “but if we weren’t you’d absolutely pick truth and I would ask you how you really felt that evening when I told you Dan and I were on a break!”

Nate: Nate clicked his tongue followed by a gentle chuckle and a barely visible shake of his head when she kinda called him out, the conversation still too present on his mind to pretend she wasn’t absolutely right. “Touché.” Even if the moment was short, he did notice that there was something else weighing on her mind for a moment but thanks to the alcohol that clouded his mind, his focus moved too quickly to her reply than to actually figure out what it could be. But if it was important, the one thing he should know was that it’d always come up in conversation at some point. While they were certainly good to dance around a topic sometimes, it inevitably never worked for too long - which, honestly was a good thing because 9 out of 10 times it was a misunderstanding that could easily be solved instead of spreading constant worries in their minds. “Pft, that’s just another unfair advantage because you know exactly alcohol is the way to my heart.” He joked, the grin still as present as before while he glanced at the drinks that were now placed in front of them. One thing he really had to give the grumpy waiter was his great timing. Despite his previous words, Nate knew that alcohol (especially too much of it) had put them into very difficult, sometimes even heartbreaking situations they also didn’t seem to be immune to the fact that it led to some of their most honest confessions. The only thing he wasn’t sure of right now was if the truth this time was such a good idea. He’d been vulnerable without the involvement of any alcohol months ago, confessing his feelings to her while at the same time pushing her away because he couldn’t bear the thought of watching her choose someone else again and he wasn’t sure if that had actually changed. Yes, the situation was very different to what it had been then, still feeling guilty about the fact he’d kind of betrayed his friend in that moment by telling his wife that he loved her, knowing that it would cause some reaction at least. Some would maybe even go as far as saying that the trial separation was an indication she might choose someone else than Dan but he wasn’t too sure of it. And the fact her question made his heartbeat quicken as he slowly started feeling a little nervous wasn’t helping either. “Mmm,” He only hummed after she’d finished talking, the grin on his face fading a little as he bought himself some time while he took a sip of his drink, the alcohol helping slightly with his nerves. “What makes you think I wouldn’t choose dare? Though, I have a feeling it’d be the same question regardless only that you would dare to tell me how I really felt.” Despite his obvious attempt to avoid answering the question for at least a little while longer, his gaze never left hers, maybe a slight indication that he would eventually give her the answer she was seeking. Especially since he’d kind of already confessed with his reaction right now that he’d been hiding his feelings back when she’d told him. “If we were young enough to still play that drinking game I’d tell you that I wasn’t able to comprehend the fact this was really happening when you told me,” He began, still much like he’d been then struggling to find the right words or any words to express how he felt really, “It made me feel guilty later that the first thing I think I really felt was relief - in the sense of there being an actual chance you wouldn’t force yourself to stay in this marriage just because you didn’t want to be like your mom. Which, for the record, I still think are two whole different situations.” His fingers traced the rim of his glass absentmindedly as he still kept his gaze on her. “And I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to kiss you as badly as I did then.”

Serena: Serena wondered if she should not have asked. Maybe they’d be better off pretending, as they had so often, that nothing was the matter. Maybe she had also just been too quick to assume that he’d..have some kind of reaction to the possibility of her leaving Dan. It felt like these days there was a constant push and pull between her and Nate, something she had assume they had put behind them years ago until he had kissed her on thanksgiving. Actually, it wasn’t quite fair for put that on him, if anything, they had kissed. Very mutually. From there on things seemed to change by the minute. From declarations of love, to not speaking at all, to honest conversations about figuring out whatever was going on between them..only to then not actually talk about anything once something actually seemed to be changing. “It’d be an unfair advantage if you’d be the only one drinking, we are keeping this very level!” The blonde commented smiling a little as she watched him carefully, the silence that followed her question not exactly the most reassuring thing. “I think you wouldn’t because we used to actually play these games when we were young, remember?” Probably when they were too young, 15 year old on the carpet of Blair’s room - back when it still felt like Serena would end up watching her two best friends love story from the side lines forever. God, how the tables had turned. The blonde stayed quiet when Nate spoke, listening carefully in between sips of her drink, the stem of her glass somewhat of a lifeline at this very moment. “That’s why you felt relief? Or guilt?” She questions maybe came out a little more sharply than she intended, but she really wasn’t quite sure what to make of his words, at least not until his final admission reached her ears, her eyes looking up from her glass and locking with his. It took her a moment to find her voice again after that, before she’ll couldn’t help but ask another question. “Why didn’t you?”

Nate: “Vaguely,” He answered, a bit too amused probably. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to remember all those times they’d played truth or dare but the alcohol that had been part of those games only left him with rather blurry memories. After all, even back then and even if he certainly didn’t want to admit it then, he’d at least had a crush on Serena so that game always caused him to get nervous - and therefore required at least a specific amount of alcohol. The sharpness with which her following questions came irritated him to some degree, brows furrowing as he wasn’t sure if she had expected him to elaborate some more, maybe even wanted him to say that he’d not only been sad to hear that she was potentially single again. He opened his mouth to explain further how and why he’d felt the way he did but then closed it once their eyes locked and a question that simply brushed all the others aside followed. Maybe his mind also seemed so empty now because his gaze had dared to drop down to her lips for a moment, something that so easily made him forget anything but the fact that he was absolutely drawn to her lips and wanted to kiss them. Taste her. He swallowed thickly, his mouth suddenly a little dry. “It probably sounds stupid but I was scared it’d push you away.” His voice was barely above a whisper as his eyes met hers once more, smiling softly.

Serena: God they were not good at this, at communicating and their last conversation probably was even more proof of that than the one they were having now. If anything she had been disappointed that he had not reacted more that day, had not said, as she had so often asked of him, even if only silently, to make a move, or at least try and fight for her - a fact that wasnt exactly fair, not when she had pushed him away and made it hard for him to do exactly that so many times before. "It does sound stupid!" Serena confirmed with a slight smile, the air around them charged with something sh could, in fact, put her finger on but wasnt sure if was something they should react to just now. Not that the sentence that followed would help with that. "I thought you would, you know, kiss me that night. I really thought you'd..seize the opportunity I guess!"

Nate: He tilted his head searching her face with his eyes as he tried to figure out if she was messing with him or not. But then again, there was no reason to. Plus, they were pretty much alone in here so that kind of gave them the perfect opportunity for intimate and honest conversation, no need to fear anyone who wasn’t supposed to hear them would eventually get the information from gossip girl. Not that this was really on his mind right now though, thinking not his strongest suit when he was already a little too intoxicated for how early it still was. “Damn, I really suck at reading signals from you, don’t I?” Nate shook his head more at himself than anything else, wondering how it was so easy for him to think he was doing the right thing and then missing something as simple as that. It surely also made him wonder if he’d been standing in the way of his own happiness all those years. Maybe he shouldn’t have flown himself out of the city before her wedding and instead shown up on her front door to ask her not to marry Dan as he’d done many, many times in his imagination. “But I think it doesn’t change the fact that it would’ve felt like taking advantage of a vulnerable situation. The right person, yes, but not the right timing for a kiss.” He then added softly, revealing yet another reason why he hadn’t kissed her that night. There was so much in their past that had happened because they’d followed their desire and the undeniable chemistry between them and while he didn’t regret any of those situations, it did ultimately put them through so much heartbreak and drama that he didn’t want history to repeat itself this time. Which was also something he thought both of them had agreed on when they’d their heart to heart on his birthday - and therefore another reason why he was surprised she seemed to be a little upset that he hadn’t tried anything but instead given her space and time to figure this new situation out.

Serena: “I sometimes think you just don’t want to see them…!” Serena admitted when he asked if he sucked at reading her signal - possibly signals also looked very different to them, no matter what they’d talk or didn’t properly about it seemed that actions tended to look different for the both of them sometimes. At the end of the day it probably was a mix of all of it, many situations of right person, wrong moment, paired with miscommunication and topped off with some fear that they’d mess it all up again. After all, how many heartbreaks could a friendship, or a partnership survive? They’d already coming very close to no longer being part of each other’s lives and that in itself was reason to be cautious. His follow up statement made her smile softly, the reason for why he hadn’t kissed her so very much him that it was hard to believe that so many years living in their world he had not changed. “I think you’re possibly the only person I’ve ever known to be worried about taking advantage of a situation…!” Serena told him softly as she took a sip of her drink before she shook her head softly, the fact that it felt like they’ve never but also constantly had this conversation slightly overwhelming as well as heartbreaking. “Even if you would have kissed me that night, I would have never thought you’re taking advantage of me!”

Nate: Her words probably hit the nail on the head - at least to a certain degree. He didn’t exactly not want to miss out on all the signs she may have given him but something was telling him that he did avoid acting on anything because he’d built some kind of wall around his heart, trying to keep her out of it. Ironically, he at the very same time always wanted nothing more than to be with her, this inner conflict surely to blame for his slow or non-existing reactions and actions. And that inner conflict was also most definitely one of the reasons for the (luckily) short-termed ending of their friendship. God, he probably would’ve never forgiven himself if they would’ve never recovered from that. It was probably the most stupid thing he’d ever done. His hand reached for her hand that was holding onto her glass, fingers brushing over the back of it until she let go of the glass so he could lace their fingers together.  “I may have missed some of those signs on purpose,” He admitted as he lowered his gaze, “I guess I was and I still am a little scared of what would happen if I act on it. No, I actually think we both are. And you know that as much as I do because I’m pretty sure that’s why you told me we shouldn’t move too fast this time. Being with you all those years back was - despite all the drama - the happiest time of my life and losing that was the worst. Especially the way it happened, it was just so frustrating.” He sighed. “I don’t want to go through another time of me having to read about your hookups in Paris on Gossip Girl every morning and feeling just the worst kind of pain that I just wanted to numb,” Nate made a face at the memory of how he’d chosen to numb it and that he actually used Chuck’s black book and how completely out of character he’d acted at the time - an indication of much he’d really been hurting. “I don’t want to use unhealthy coping mechanism again and even worse - everything I know about you against you so I could hurt you too. As much as I would maybe like to claim I didn’t know what I was doing when I brought Juliet with me, I most definitely did it for the worst reasons.” He looked up at her when he paused for a moment, unsure if he was putting his foot in his mouth or if talking about this was actually a good thing. “I don’t want to play any jealousy games or trying to push the other over the edge to get them where we want to… We both know this is all so delicate and I don’t want us to break it before it can even start.”

Serena: The irony of the fact that the hand he was holding, fingers interlaced in what might have been the most comforting action of the day so far, was still adored by both her wedding and Engagement ring was not lost on her - and it was an unwanted reminder that technically, this was a trial separation and a decision would still have to be made. Despite the fact that she was already renovating their shared space, she wasn’t sure if either her or Dan were ready to admit that it was in fact all over. “I just don’t want anyone to think you’re the reason for this…I mean for a possible divorce. At the end of the day we weren’t..we aren’t happy and whatever happens with us, it’s a whole different story!” It was one of her main concerns, not necessarily for the sake of her own reputation but Nates. His job was demanding and while the comparison to Tripp wasn’t one she’d ever voice again, it was undeniable that the press would be equally unkind if they’d suspect their mayor might have cause a divorce on the upper east side, especially since her name wasn’t completely unrecognisable in the New Yorker society circuit either. “It was always other peoples drama…whenever it was just us, it was so good?” What sounded like a question wasn’t really one, in her mind she knew the answer. Whenever they’d actually been alone during their relationship things had been absolutely wonderful, if anything perhaps they had never spent enough time just the two of them. “I think the days of a spending a month of reckless dates in Paris are well and truly behind me, if that’s what you’re worried about!” Serena teased him, the only way she knew to help her cope with all of the things he had just said - and was continuing to say. Even if they both looked back at their relationship and considered it an incredible happy, if not the happiest time, it was hard to deny the fact that they had played far too many games - both during and after. Not to mention that, much like he said, they knew each other so well it unfortunately was easy to push the others button when push came to shove, though in her memory that had happened more so whenever they weren’t actually together - when repressed jealousy showed it’s ugly head. “Neither do I, but we also didn’t want this when we last tried this…!” It was hard to admit that, but she felt like in a way their previous relationship had started with much of the same pretence. “I just remember thinking then that it made so much sense, that it was you..and that it should have been you all along!”

Nate: If there was one thing Nate certainly could relate to than it was the fear of people turning a possible relationship between them into unnecessary drama. It wouldn’t exactly be the first time and people just loved to judge and gossip without really knowing anything, especially not the truth. But to him it wasn’t only his reputation and the way he could potentially be received as a home wrecker by those narrow-minded people, it was also the fact they’d (once again) judge Serena and paint her out to be someone he knew she wasn’t. He’d always hated how Gossip Girl made her look like this spoiled brat and party girl (and yes, he knew Serena hadn’t exactly been innocent growing up so maybe it wasn’t completely undeserving to some people) but he felt like the good and kind parts of her had always been left out of those narratives. Which wasn’t really fair. The last thing he wanted was for her to be seen as someone who she truly wasn’t again because of stupid nonsense. “I know and I don’t want it either. But if the existence of Gossip Girl and all those tabloids have taught us one thing, it’s that people always talk and they also always make up shit about people they don’t know, if they feel like it. I think even if we waited for years after decisions have been made and things have been finalized, there’d be someone digging and then finding out about our history only to use it against us.” Of course, it was easier said that  they technically would have to accept those false narratives should someone decide to put them out there, than to actually do so but he felt like they didn’t really have any other option. “Maybe we should ditch New York and just run off to the West Coast together.” He joked, chuckling softly though there was a small part of him that if things got really bad wasn’t exactly opposed to the idea of them just running off somewhere - it didn’t even have to be the West Coast as long as they were away from the drama. “It was always good when it was just the two of us, yeah.” Not that it was really necessary for him to confirm it because the smiles and glances back then had spoken volumes - just as much as the moments they’d managed to steal away, blissfully oblivious to the drama slowly unfolding in both of their lives. “Ha ha. Not the point but I appreciate the reassurance.” He couldn’t help but grin at her when she teased him, as heavy as the topic was at least they were also at a point where they could make fun of the situation itself now. That was some progress, right? “I know but maybe we just have to try harder this time.” Once again, something that in their lives seemed easier said than done but Nate also knew that if they would really try this again, he was willing to do everything he could to make it work - something that also included the fact that he needed to take action in situations that didn’t seem as perfect and right at first probably. “Your young adult self was smarter than I ever gave her credit for, I guess.” Now he couldn’t help but tease her, a soft grin coming along with his words to make it clear that they certainly weren’t meant to harm her. Maybe it was even a confession of sorts because he did indeed always convince himself that he’d been her second choice in every past situation.

Serena: He was absolutely right, if anything they had learnt to deal with the noise of the tabloids and Gossip Girl over the years, but it also felt like the older they got the stakes certainly were higher. She didn’t put it past the media to have an impact on his career if they decided to really hound him, or her for that matter. “I think the whole point is not running away from it all this time around, no?” Serena asked softly, although the thought was always appealing. She sometimes did wonder why they had never left New-York and all the drama behind, not just her and Nate, but all of them. When he admitted that there was a chance her younger self had been smarter than he had given her credit for she smiled softly, though a trace of sadness was easily readable behind the smile. “You never trusted me when we were together, not fully at least. I know I didn’t give you many reasons either, so I don’t blame you, but…I just wish you would have trusted me more!” Maybe it was also a silent plea for him to now do what he apparently couldn’t do then, to, if they were to try to build some kind of life together, actually fully let himself believe that it was what she wanted and that being with him was the only thing she wanted.

Nate: While Nate knew that the point indeed was not to run this time, part of him wished they could because it certainly would be easier. On the other hand, he kind of really wanted to go the more complicated, harder route because he was sure in the end it’d be worth working through everything that was still lying ahead of them. No matter if they were friends or lovers at the end of what he assumed was going to be a rocky road. “Yeah, it’s all about not running this time.” He smiled softly as he looked at their intertwined hands, the fingers of his other hand absentmindedly drawing circles on the back of hers while he was lost in his thoughts for a moment. He looked up again when she talked about his lack of trust, the sadness of her smile not going unnoticed by him, a soft sigh escaping him at the sight. There were many factors that had played a role in their relationship not working out and Nate knew that his own issues had been part of it. Oddly enough, Serena was one of the people, if not the only one, he trusted in every other aspect, so much that she was probably the one who knew the most about him. The only thing he still couldn’t completely trust her with was his heart. Just the thought of giving it all away and trusting her blindly, especially not to change her mind about who she wanted to be with was scary. Most of all because he just knew if they screwed up another time, there’d be no way to fix this relationship again. It’d be over for good then. He lifted his hand to caress her cheek gently, his thumb running across the soft skin of cheek as he searched for her eyes this time. “I know I have to work on my issues too. I’m… I’ve actually already… started working on them. Not alone, though. But with professional help.” He admitted, it was the first time he was telling anyone that he was seeing a therapist. It had been difficult for him to even admit that he needed help, always one to try and figure things out on his own, especially when it was only about himself but he knew he couldn’t continue like this. “I’ve been seeing a therapist regularly since… since my trip to LA. When I ran into Diana, I had some kind of panic attack because having to see her and being confronted with that part of my past that I just honestly want to forget brought up too many feelings that I couldn’t handle. My therapist calls it trauma, I honestly didn’t have any idea it was that bad until that day but yeah. Working on.. all of that has been interesting and just… a lot.”

Serena: His words floored her for a moment. Professional help, admitting one was out of one’s depth wasn’t exactly something that was common in their world - while most people certainly needed it, nobody ever seemed to consider it. The fact that he now was facing things that they had always downplayed, mostly because it was the only way to continue, felt momentous. “Trauma…id like to say I’m surprised, but the only thing that actually surprises me is that we are all still standing upright at this point!” Sure enough they had all experienced more traumatic situations than most people did in a lifetime, most of which had always been simply ignored and considered normal. Just part of their lives. Serena let go of his hand for a moment, taking up her drink as she considered his words. “How does it feel? To talk to someone about, I mean, just all of this?” She asked her hands automatically reaching for his arms again, softly tracing little lines on his skin as she waited for his reaction, his answer. “I did think if anyone would make you want to go to therapy I’d be me!” She finally joked softly, just to let him know that she in fact, much like him, understood where her faults laid with their past. Her next words weren’t exactly the easiest to formulate, but she meant every word of it. “Nate, if you need time for yourself right now..and need to focus on yourself - I get that!”

Nate: The pause she needed to process the information he'd just placed in front of her, he used to take a couple of sips of his own drink. The liquid courage certainly needed in a moment like this. And he honestly understood the need to process on her part because he still wasn't sure if therapy was the right or wrong thing to do and it most definitely wasn't a common thing in their society. "It feels... odd, weird even. I prefer talking to you about these things, cracking jokes and brushing it off... momentarily. But I guess that no longer works for me from a long-term perspective." He answered truthfully as a sigh fell from his lips. While her questions and the topic in general was the hard-hitting kind, her touch was soft and gentle - basically the opposite of it, which was more than just comforting and calming in a way. Plus, there was always this soft layer of goosebumps covering his skin whenever Serena touched him. Not solely because of his sexual attraction to her but every time she was touching him, it felt like she was touching his soul - one of those effects only she ever had on him. When he'd told her that he was seeing a therapist, he somehow didn't think of what else she could apply this to. He didn't think that she would maybe assume that he was subtly trying to tell her that he needed time and wasn't ready for letting another person into his life. That was not what he wanted - or meant so he shook his head. "I don't need time for myself. I mean- I-I do need to figure some things out that I need time for but... that will likely be something I'll work on for the rest of my life. Maybe I should just marry my therapist. Though I think his wife might not be too happy about that." He couldn't help but drop a joke in between all the heavy, seriousness of this topic. "I meant that... I..." He was struggling to find the right words or to put his thoughts into words that made sense for both of them, honestly. Not because he was afraid she wouldn't understand him or she wouldn't like what he was about to say but solely because he wanted her to know that the fact he wanted to be with her was the only certain thing in his life right now. "I do trust you, there are just... holes in that construct that I still need to fill? But I'd... I think the only way to fill those and build it back up in a complete way would be to do it with you. I don't need distance from you to work on it, the only thing I need from you is to understand that I want to get there but it's gonna be a work in progress. Basically like everything in life is? The only thing I don't want is to go into this pretending like those issues didn't exist and making the same mistakes all over again so that we'll inevitably fail again. But from what you said, I think that is a very mutual thing, right? And if you tell me this is what you want - I am what you want then I will believe you this time and not question it constantly. I'll try as much as I can not to slip up and fail to trust that.”

Serena: "Oh please do not marry a therapist, I am that would not go down well next thanksgiving – i personally would hate being psychoanalysed over turkey and pumpkin pie!" I was really easier to just smile away the worries and the topics, it was what she, or all of them really, were good at, but she none the less was listening, taking in all those informations he was laying on her right now. News and information she was proud he chose to share with her. "I understand that,  I really do, I think...!" Serena could not help but laugh a little, her hands covering her face for a moment when she looked back up at him, the whole situation feeling much more complicated than any of the things they'd found themselves in before. Somehow the lines when it came to kissing while one was still married, having sex while the other was in a relationship - and any other thing that had ever happened between them was less black and white like this. "I cannot and I will never promise you anything. I am not good with these things, but I need you to understand how I feel about you, how I have always felt about you, in one way or another! I am nowhere near divorced yet, my husband...Dan, we havent even decided that things are really over..I guess we both know, but...all I wanted when I told you that my marriage seemed to be ending was to kiss you!" She was not sure if any of this was giving him what he needed, or if this was an actual answer to anything he had just said. "I dont want to make the same mistakes again either, but I also dont want us to once again just...not try, or not try enough. What if things just arent meant to be completely smooth and there will always be some kind of complication? Because there will be. Your family would never approve of me, I doubt it'll be great for your career, people will talk always … about us, about the past, about Dan, wether or not this started long before. There will be gossip, an rumours and we might fail...!" Because there was a chance this would not work, just statistically, this might as well would not work out and that was not taking all kinds of exterior factors into consideration. If the fact that she had said all of that with a smile on her face had not been sign enough that none of this was meant to be stated to be hurtful, but simply to be truthful, her next words certainly would give him that idea. "But I want that and I want to try. I'll have to talk to Dan and we need to figure this all out...and we should take it slow, see where this all leads us, but...!" Her body had gravitated towards his as she had spoken without really realising it, but it did just underline her next words perfectly "...I need you!" words that were especially underlined when her lips met his just moments later, albeit in a kiss that was much softer than what she truly craved.

Nate: Just picturing being married to a therapist and them analyzing his friends amused him so much that he let out a soft laugh. The guaranteed chaos, however, wasn't something he'd look forward to either. Especially since their Thanksgivings were already dramatic enough and there was still that little bit of hope left that they'd finally have one so calm that their biggest worry would be maybe some spilled red wine. But that was a train of thought for another day, maybe. He rather focused on what she was now saying, the fact she told him she wasn't going to make promises she likely wouldn't be able to keep not something that disappointed him but he actually appreciated. It was definitely not something he expected or wanted from her anyway, the only thing he really wanted was for her to acknowledge that they had issues that needed to be worked on and she already did that. Everything else she could offer was something he'd take but he certainly didn't want to pressure her with expectations she couldn't meet. They were already both on the same page of wanting to really try this time, but maybe his hesitation when it came to kissing her already made it seem like he wasn't up for that. But when it came to the possible repercussion this could have on his career, the gossip they would have to endure and most importantly his family not approving... those were things he didn't really worry about at all. Truth be told, that could seem a bit stupid, especially since he'd worked hard on getting where he was but it wasn't really his career that was making him happy. Plus, he'd already made the decision for himself that he didn't want to stay in the political field after his term was over. But that was also something he hadn't really told anyone yet, except for his therapist and he knew he'd need some time until he was able to tell anyone. She was right - there was a chance they would fail yet another time and that thought was admittedly scary and maybe the one he worried about the most. For the most part because he wasn't sure how much this would also affect their friendship in the end. He knew that if their relationship failed after they really tried to make it work, he wouldn't want to try that another time. But what he knew was that he would try his best to stay friends with her, just that it obviously depended on the reason why it ended then. Though, right now, this was the worst case scenario and surely not something he wanted to pay much mind to. Thinking about something ending before it even really started surely wasn't clever. Moments earlier, when she had mentioned that all she wanted was to kiss him the night she'd told him about her trial separation, Nate's gaze had inevitably wandered to her lips for a second but he'd quickly reminded himself to focus. Only when her body now moved closer to his, he suddenly felt the urge and the pull to meet hers in the middle and this time he gave in. The smile on his face mirrored hers as she told him that she wanted to try and when her lips met his, he let his eyes fall shut as he enjoyed the softness of the kiss, not even hesitating for a moment to kiss her back. "I want to really try this time too. Doesn't matter which obstacles will be thrown our way." Nate then whispered against her lips, pulling back a little to look at her again but it truly wasn't the easiest task. And just a moment later, he gave in a second time, only that he kissed her this time with a little more hunger than the kiss they shared before.

Serena: Serena had never been known to be one to resist temptation, if anything she was the temptress, even in moments when she had not anticipated or attempted to do so. If there was one thing they had always been able to rely on it was physical attraction - friendship or relationship hardly mattered, they’d always been physical, touch a love language Serena used and occasionally abused in a sense, physicality often easier to access than words. The blonde wasn’t sure if this was right, if they should be kissing right now - if she would think of it she’d think of the man who was still her husband, of the fact that her separation at this one was a trial, albeit one that came with renovation and a move on Dans part so the permanent decision possibly had already been made only that words had failed them. Words now equally failed the blonde as she simply allowed herself to indulge in the feeling of Nate’s touch, her lips hungrily exploring his as if they’d never kissed before. A fact that wasn’t all that far from the truth since, aside from thanksgiving, their last intimate encounter was years ago, something that filled her with both excitement and a healthy dose of anxiety. “Can I stay at yours tonight?” Serena finally asked when he lips broke away from his, though the distance was minimal, her breath still hot against his skin as she tried to regain some sense of time and space. “I mean…not for this…I just don’t want to spend the night alone!” She told him truthfully, knowing that sleeping over was them playing with fire if they truly wanted to stick to their self imposed slowness, but she knew that being alone with her own thoughts in an empty apartment that was a partial construction zone would be detrimental tonight.

Nate: Nate was a little dizzy after she’d pulled back from the kiss, he didn’t know if it was due to the alcohol in his system or just simply the fact it was Serena who he was (finally) kissing again - but it was probably a bit of both. One thing was for sure, though… not only the kiss left him a little breathless but her question surely took a moment to process as well. While the timing surely did indicate something entirely different than the actual reason behind it, Nate wasn’t disappointed when she corrected herself. Instead he smiled softly at her, knowing well enough that Serena always struggled with being alone and she never really had been in the last… well, probably never actually. But he also was just as aware that neither of them was actually known for being able to resist each other and if their kiss just a few seconds ago didn’t already prove it, a lot of moments in their past most definitely would. “Yeah, of course.” There was no way Nate would’ve been able to say no to her and he also didn’t want to. Plus, maybe they were finally at a point when they could actually take things slow, which was something he was sure both were equally as determined to stick to. “How does takeout sound? Because I’m pretty sure the only food they offer here are those peanuts in that bowl the guy placed on our table and I don’t think we should keep drinking on empty stomachs.”

Serena: “Mhm, I’m guessing your fridge is entirely empty since it’s no longer stocked by Blair and Chuck…!” She pondered teasingly, though the memories her own words brought back should be reason enough to reconsider her own idea of sleeping over because her whole body was craving to touch him again - but she also refused to go back on her word this quickly, how hard could it actually be to practice some self restraint. “Chinese?” She asked instead of replying properly to his question, the food choice more than enough of an answer. “Order some food and get a car and I’ll handle that guy?” Serena added, one look over her shoulder at whom she by now suspected to be the owner of this place and it was clear that he was more than ready to get rid of the only patrons at this place and while she’d claim that it was the only reason why she leant back down after she had gotten up and caught Nate’s lips in another kiss that should technically be reserved for the privacy of one’s own home although truth was it was both, her heart and the shots doing the talking. Plus this guy hardly looked like he knew, or cared about gossip girl. The air outside was hot and heady, the opposite of cool and sobering that they both possibly needed and it was the first moment that Serena wondered if what she was doing was cruel to both of the men in her life, one who probably knew that their marriage was over and the other who might end up loosing a friend over it, especially if photos of them would appear online so soon after this trial separation. It was a question she mulled over on the drive back to his place, teeth unconsciously pulling on her lower lip, a nervous habit that had never really disappeared over the years - although the worries did he moment she stepped foot into Nates place, everything about it familiar despite the fact that she had spend very little time there over the years. It even smelled like him. The familiarity made it easier to just discard her bag in a corner, heels following before she looked around a little, spotting little details she hadn’t notice the last time she was there. The silence between them in the moment not uncomfortable or threatening, but somewhat peaceful and she only broke it when she walked back over to him, her arms wrapping around his neck, the height difference suddenly turned on its head now that the loubutins no longer worked to her advantage. “Thank you!” She whispered against his lips, hers meeting his again because frankly now that they had kissed she felt like she been starved of his touch for years and not only memories but emotions resurfaced at an almost overwhelming speed - all quieted by the simple action of giving in to this, to him. Were their plans of quasi-chastity saved by the ringing doorbell that announced the arrival of their food? The fact that at least Serena felt what she assumes most teenagers felt like when they were caught by their parents suggested that yes, the doorbell had been somewhat of a saving grace. The blonde sighed with a hint of what possibly was sexual frustration as she pushed her hair out of her face and stepped away from him so he could take care of the food, only speaking up again when the door was closed. “I need a hot shower and a drink…and since you cannot be part of the first, you’re in charge of the second!” The words were spoken with a grin on her face, though she did need a moment to put some distance between them and a shower was about the only thing she could think of in the moment.

Nate: There was something about the sexual tension that was suddenly so present in the air between them that made him almost forget his actual task while she was gone to pay their drinks. He had no memory of him calling his driver to pick them up and then ordering the food but both things had apparently happened during her absence. All he did remember was how his eyes never left Serena and the little voice in the back of his mind screaming that it was a bad idea. But bad ideas didn't mean that they would always come with regret, right? At least he couldn't exactly claim that he fully regretted any decision they had made while drunk on both, alcohol and... feelings in the past. So, why should it be different now? It seemed like Serena's mind was clouded with similar thoughts, or at least with worry during their drive back to his place, his eyes catching sight of one of her nervous habits that he was all too familiar with. And yet, the only thoughts that really crossed his mind were that she looked cute like this and that he was glad this day wasn't over yet but actually included a sleepover. He'd missed her so much that every additional hour was very welcomed, no matter the possible consequences that could come from this. It was easy to tell Serena relaxed as soon as they were inside his apartment, his body inevitably doing the same, but for a moment he wasn't sure if it was the privacy or because she felt comfortable in his space. The bag and heels that landed in the corner almost carelessly a second later gave a little hint as to what at least the main reason seemed to be. Which in return caused a smile to grace his features, still unable to keep his eyes off her, though he at least managed to take his shoes off by the door as well before she'd approached him again. His arms easily snuck around her waist, only slightly surprised by the kiss this time because he too felt the constant pull towards her since the moment they'd shared their first kiss of the night. Lines they had drawn themselves and previously planned not to cross had been blurred again, and it, ironically enough reminded him of a similar situation. Only that... well, Serena had basically been in his position and he was the one who had been disappointed in her and hurt by her decisions. But was this really as bad as the decisions Tripp and Serena had made back then? It wasn't the same, was it? That thought was quickly pushed away when he noticed that he was still holding the door open even though the food and money exchange had already happened and he closed it again, turning towards Serena. The question she then asked along with the mental pictures of her naked in a - no, his - shower definitely made sure that every doubt and thought was silenced, the grin on his face now matching hers even though he wasn't exactly sure how he was going to survive this night and actually resist the temptation. "Take the bathroom on this floor, this way," he gestured towards the hall to his right, "second door on the left. The shower is much nicer than the one upstairs. Fresh towels are in the first drawer." He looked at her for another moment, his gaze maybe a little more intense than he actually intended before he forced himself to turn away and place the bags with their food on the kitchen counter so he could go and grab them both a drink. Once he heard the bathroom door close behind Serena, he allowed himself to let out a deep breath as he muttered an almost inaudible "Shit." How did he always find himself in these situations with Serena? And how was he supposed to hold it all back when he'd done so for the last ten years or so and it all seemed like the hardest task he's ever been met with now? Especially since his mind always wandered back to the fact she was in his shower right now and if he was being honest, he was dying to join her and it admittedly did cost him a lot of strength not to as he forced himself to focus on placing the cartons with their food on the table in front of his couch before finally fixing both of them a drink, his first two emptied right after they were poured and then refilled again. He figured putting on a movie while they ate would hopefully help him staying focused on anything but the sexual tension, though he had no idea which movie would actually be able to break that. Not when he could hardly think straight and the alcohol he kept adding to his system surely didn't help either.

Serena: “Nice shower? Are you trying to woo me Archibald?” Serena asked teasingly as he led her to the bathroom which what he deemed the nicer shower and showed her where she could find anything she needed - only to not leave the room when he was done, at least not right away. Her eyes had met his through the mirror, knowing it’d be oh so easy to take off just one piece of clothing right there and invite him in, not just the shower but whatever else this was, but he had averted his gaze eventually, door shutting behind him and she wasn’t sure if the sigh she let out was one of relief or frustration. The hot shower didn’t exactly purify her thoughts as she had hoped, but it did leave her feeling slightly more alert than previously, the effects of the alcohol wearing off slightly - stark contrast to him as she realised when she stepped out of the bathroom, drips of water following her as she made her way to the living room again, her hair slightly tangled and damp from where it reached her shoulder blades, her body wrapped in a white towel which she held onto tightly, though it did little to cover her long legs, a fact she was achtelt aware of once she was back in Nates presence. Serena had to clear her throat for a second before she could formulate words, carefully bending down to grab a hold of the glass she assumed was hers without exposing too much naked skin…or any more than was already on display. How was modesty so much harder than seduction? And how was it this contrary to both, her nature and her current longing. “Forgot to ask if you have anything I could wear...!” She finally spoke though the fact was probably more than just a little obvious as she stood in front of him. “If you tell me what to grab I can get it myself I just…didn’t know where!” The fact that it once had been common cutesy for her to raid Nates closet for anything she could wear, be it around his place or as some kind of outfit filled her with memories and made the fact that she now didn’t even know behind which door his bedroom was even more….confusing. “You know what, never mind, I can just put my clothes back on!” She finally added as she emptied the glass she had picked up. Apparently sobering up did nothing to make her want to drop her towel any less, so she might as well continue to easy the tension with alcohol. At least that’s how she explained her own actions to herself. The fact that contrary to her words and what they’d suggest she actually sat down next to him, hand reaching for the bottle to refill her glass before simply reaching for a blanket to place over her very exposed legs wasn’t exactly sensical - but neither was anything else happening in her life so far. Not to mention that something about the effect she still seemed to have on the man next to her ten years later was undeniably exciting and maybe, just maybe she did like playing with fire despite her earlier attempts of denying that little fact to herself, but now her mind wouldn’t stop replaying the way he had looked at her just moments earlier and she couldn’t quite remember feeling as desired in a very long time.

Nate: How he had even for a second thought that it would actually be easier to not think about sex once she finally stepped out of the shower and rejoined him was beyond him. Well, maybe if he had thought about the lack of clothes she'd brought to this sleepover earlier and had gotten her clothes to change into after her shower it would've been... but now? The way the towel clad to her still slightly wet body and the fact he smelt his shower gel on her body threw any kind of control over his mind and body right out of the window. His gaze was glued to her, suddenly wishing that his couch was even bigger than it already was but deep down he knew even then they wouldn't leave too much space between each other. Nate was sure that it wasn't just him who was struggling this much, her need for the shower probably not just due to the heat outside and the smell of the bar on her, yet he wondered for a moment if she was torturing him on purpose because she didn't want to be the first to blur the lines even further or if her body was acting mostly on its own as well. His mouth was too dry to speak right away, swallowing in an attempt to actually say something at least but words certainly didn't come easy to him right now. Did he want her to get dressed, whether that would be in his clothes or the dress she had been wearing earlier? Or did he actually not truly mind that she was only wearing a towel? It definitely hadn't been his intention earlier but now he wasn't so sure anymore. "Mm, no, that doesn't make sense, I can get you something to wear." He offered before he - a little absentmindedly - kissed a few drops of water off her shoulder, only leaning back a little to look at her again but not actually moving away or getting up to do what he'd just offered. "You think a shirt will do? Or do you need some shorts as well?" Nate whispered against her lips after he'd leaned closer to kiss her for yet another time, obviously unable to resist at least her lips for too long.

Serena: The air was charge with enough tension to possibly last them a lifetime, not that there had not already been plenty of those scenarios before - most of them going way back to their teens when Serena had boldly teased him, but back then it had always just been a game, albeit occasionally one she would have liked to loose. Now it wasn’t a game, not was it calculated and yet, the situation felt oddly similar, only this time both of them tried to restrain themselves. For a second the world stopped moving when her lips connected to the naked skin of her shoulder and Serena was sure the shaky breath that followed was telling him more than she wanted him to know about his effect on her body right now. Similarly she would have answered his question but how was she going to focus on getting dressed when all she really wanted for him to also loose his clothes and to go back on absolutely everything they’d promised each other earlier. It was suddenly hard to see why they thought restraint was the way to go after all this time anyways. Her lips eagerly welcomed his, for the first time actually allowing herself to not only project feelings but all of her desires into that kiss as her tongue met his in a moment that grew hungrier by the minute. Pulling away for a moment, primarily to catch her breath the blondes head fell back against the headrest of the couch, ironically enough providing him with a perfect view of her neck and peak of her breast as she closed her eyes for a moment. “…I really didn’t come here to have sex with you!” She exclaimed weakly before she looked at him and sighed, knowing that she’d possibly have to clarify her words. “I mean god…I want this, you..so badly, but that’s not what I was hoping for…!” Her words were barely coherent as she tried to grapple with all the emotions she felt in that moment. “All I know is that this feels right, but it’s also everything we said we wouldn’t do…!”

Nate: The kiss they just shared had him almost close to throwing even the last bit of hesitation out the window, so close to just pulling her onto his lap and screwing those rules they set for themselves. That was also why a small sound of protest left his lips when she broke away from the kiss, although it probably saved them both from doing what they at least initially didn't want to do. Right now he just didn't know if that was still what he truly wanted. "I know. Otherwise we'd be doing it already." Nate then admitted once he was finally able to lift his gaze from her exposed neck that he suddenly felt the urge to place kisses all over just so he'd hear her take another shaky breath before he grinned slightly despite his words being an honest statement that probably both of them knew was true. Not that Serena would've been to blame for it because every situation in the past as well happened due to a decision they both made. Or at least due to something they both acted on. And it was safe to say they'd always been a little horny for each other. But this was not just that. Yes, he was undeniably horny but he was longing to feel her soft, hot skin against his, to explore her body as if he'd never done so before, and he also wanted all the post-sex moments, the cuddles, the sweet nothings they'd whisper to each other.... Yeah, it wasn't just about sex, it was about so much more than that. "If it wasn't obvious yet - I want you just as badly and I can't remember why we tried to convince ourselves that this specific kind of slow was the way to go once again." He then said, his voice a little softer yet there was still a hint of amusement in it considering he was obviously referring to how when they had started dating in the past obviously failed at taking it slow then too. "Maybe we just need to... get it out of our system and then... go slow?" Sober Nate would probably realize that this sounded a little ridiculous (or did it really because was it really such a wrong thing if it actually felt right?) but he allowed the question to hang in the air between them and actually waited for her reaction.

Serena: "I think that is exactly what we did last time...!" Serena teased him as she let her eyes wander towards him again, having averted his gaze for a moment mostly to avoid the little grin that was playing on his lips and was so evident in his eyes as well. There was a boyish charm about him that she assumed would never quit leave, that twinkle in his eyes that made his innocence evaporate into thin air. It did feel slightly torturous though, what they were doing here and perhaps what she should do is get dressed again and just go home, sleep in her own bed and not risk the chance of messing this up, but...somehow that also did not really feel like an option. She knew the likely hood of them giving in now and 'getting it out of their system' was slim, they had not been with each other, explored each others bodies in years and she could not exactly deny that the thought of him had crossed her mind in that time - but imagining and actually getting to reconnect was something completely different and something told her if anything if they'd cross the line it'd be terribly hard if not impossible to get back to innocence. "Are you sure this is what you want?" She asked him quietly, not a no to his question but in reverse also only a yes if he was absolutely certain that this was the right thing for them to do, rings still on her finger and all...

Nate: His gaze locked with hers when her question reached his ears, his answer not something he needed to really think about because it was a definite yes. The only thing he wasn't sure of for a moment was whether it should come with a 'but' or not. Sure, there were some worries that had crossed his mind earlier and before that when they'd talked about the possibility of a future together. At that time, Dan hadn't even suggested a trial separation and it had been all very hypothetically but that did change. Yes, she was still married, she still had to finalize things - even have the conversation that would lead there and the possible divorce would take some time for legal reasons anyway but did that really mean they had to stay away from each other? Especially when they both somehow felt that being here was right? One thing he knew for sure was that he didn't want to make decisions based on anyone else's standards, on what other people thought was right or would work or should be. The issues they had in the past weren't a result of them moving too fast, there were entirely different reasons why they hadn't worked out. Maybe it was wrong for others, maybe things wouldn't work for a different couple if they gave into the sexual tension too fast but it actually had almost caused a rift between them back then because they allowed somebody else to tell them what was right or wrong. So, he settled on no 'but'. "Yes, it is what I want." Maybe calling it 'getting it out of their system' was wrong, even foolish to believe in the sense that if they went there, it would be difficult to not do it again for some time but if he was honest with himself, he actually didn't think there was anything wrong with it. Which was maybe retracting some of the things he had said earlier but those were worries that would actually keep him from what he truly wanted and he felt like it was time to allow himself to live a little and maybe put himself first for once as well.

Serena: He was clearly considering his answer carefully, actually thinking about her question rather than just saying yes for the sake of instant gratification and that alone reassured Serena that, yes, this wasn’t as wrong as other people would make them believe it was. Similarly to the first time around, when they had been content until people had started meddling. “in that case it’s a shame you didn’t join me in that shower like you wanted to….!” She teased him softly, no denying that she had thought of exactly that while she had been under the hot stream of water, part of her wanting and somewhat hoping he’d open the door again to join her - breaking their self imposed rule that they had now decided on disregarding anyways. The food on the table was equally forgotten, the only evident hunger in the room their apparent lust for each other, though she thought it was more than just lust, though clearly it was at the forefront of the conversation right now. They’d both gotten older since the last time they’d been in a situation like this, where it was so obvious that they’d both allow themselves to act on their physical attraction, but Serena had in no sense lost any of her confidence, at least not when it came to Nate it seemed, as she stood up from the couch, still holding onto the blanket and towel until she wasn’t, the fabric falling onto the floor leaving her in nothing but panties in front of him. “Show me how much you want me…!” The blonde whispered against his ear as she leant down, her words not only exactly what she wanted him to do, but also what she needed - only that this time she also knew that her need to feel desired came from an actual place of longing and not just from a need to feel something, anything.

Nate: Her teasing words caused a grin to appear on his face, not at all surprised that she knew he’d been fighting himself earlier to stay away from the bathroom and that it indeed had been a struggle. He figured his reaction was confirmation enough that he too thought it was a shame so he didn’t acknowledge it through spoken words as well. Plus, maybe a part of him felt like shower sex sounded too much of a quickie and while that would’ve been satisfying for sure, he wanted their second first time to be more. His gaze never once left Serena, following each movement with anticipation as his breathing grew a little heavier when the towel and blanket finally dropped to the ground, mouth slightly open while his eyes took in the sight in front of him. Her body had become more… feminine (if that were possible) since the last time he’d seen her (almost) naked, the tan from that time spent in the Hamptons still visible and Nate once again knew he’d never been drawn to anyone the way he was drawn to this mesmerizingly beautiful woman right in front of him. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment when she whispered into his ear, gentle goosebumps covering his skin instantly. “With pleasure,” he whispered back, moving his head to kiss her again, only that this time, he didn’t hold back at all. All of his longing, years if not decades of pining for this to happen, the anticipation, his feelings for her… a mix of it was transferred into the kiss, leaving him breathless when he forced himself to pull back again so he could gesture for her to stand up tall again. Even though he’d planned to move from the couch now as well, he couldn’t resist placing a few kisses against her hipbone before he finally got up as well. Grabbing the hem of his shirt, he pulled it over his head before he smoothly removed his pants as well, now standing with the same amount of clothing in front of her. It was only fair if she’d stripped down that he’d too, right? Though he didn’t gave her as much time as he had to take the moment in, his lips crashing against hers again as his hands grabbed her thighs to lift her up, motioning for her to wrap her legs around him before he carried her upstairs to his bedroom. The bed was still the same as he’d left it this morning, unmade and yesterdays clothes scattered on the floor but he hardly cared about that right now. She was the only thing that mattered. He was gentle when he climbed into bed with her, her back now hitting the mattress as he hovered over her, lips moving to her neck and further down until his tongue circled her nipple all while his fingers teasingly caressed her belly before they finally moved down further and disappeared beneath the fabric of her panties, stroking her folds lightly.

Serena: Serena had always been confident, mens reaction to her and her body a constant companion and somewhat of a crutch for years, starting in her teens all through her young adulthood and admittedly still something she partially fed off of today; knowing you could invoke a physical reaction from someone, intentionally or not, was powerful knowledge after all. It hardly ever truly affected her though, never had - possibly a result of too many nights or teenage debauchery where her body and sex had almost been a currency, or perhaps she’d gotten used to playing into the fantasy of men over the years - though none of it compared to the moment she could feel Nate’s eyes taking in every inch of her body. If she didn’t know better, if the memories of previous days and Nate’s spent with him were not still present in her mind she could have sworn he was taking her in for the very first time, the flutter in her stomach supporting that theory. The blonde would have protested to how little time she had to let her eyes and fingers get reacquainted with his frame, but it was hard to do when his lips were on hers, her legs wrapped around him and she was no longer quite sure where he ended and she began. His touch was light and airy, both his tongue on her breasts and his fingers below the fabric of her underwear, not hesitant but soft and teasing - though he hardly needed to touch her at all for her body to react to his, the heat pooling between her legs proving just that. While she remember what it had felt like to be with him when they were younger, she hardly remember what he felt like, her hands refamilisrising them self with his body as her fingertips traced the lines of his back and shoulder, anything she could reach and hold onto in this moment, nails occasionally digging into his skin, especially whenever his tongue sent a jolt through her body, back arching into his touch. “Look at me!” She rasped softly, encouraging him to stop what he was doing at least for a moment - no matter how much pleasure it brought her. “…I want to remember this!” She whispered against his lips when he did face her again, her tongue teasingly brushing over his lower lip for her moment before her teeth grazed the soft skin. “I want to remember every inch of your body…and every inch of you…!”

Nate: Her reactions to his touch, to him were addicting, every inch of him enjoying the feeling they evoked, craving so much more of it. Part of him already wished they could stay in this moment forever because it just felt like this was where they belonged. It was all kinds of exciting to get to explore her for another time, it felt so familiar yet so different and new - in all the best ways and it was just as thrilling to feel her do the same with his body. The way he trembled lightly beneath her touch indicated that he wanted more; needed more but when she stopped him and made him look at her, he obeyed to her wish slowing down even more for a moment to lock eyes with her. A soft sigh slipped from Nate's lips, a combined reaction to her words which held the promise that this night would indeed be special and her tongue that teasingly touched his lip. Nate held her gaze for another moment, the look in his eyes telling her more than the words he was lacking right now even could; he wanted to remember this too, more than he ever wanted to remember anything before and it didn't even matter if this was the start of something he'd been wanting for so long now or if it wasn't. For now, for tonight, it was just her and him. So instead of saying anything, he kissed her again, tenderly at first before he deepened it - only pulling back so he could finally take off her panties, and just to keep the level of clothing on their body fair, also get rid of his boxers at the same time. This time, as he now kneeled next to her on the bed, he gave her a little more time to let her gaze roam over his body, just to give her what she'd asked for, grabbing her hand and placing it on his chest so she could feel his heartbeat, and then slowly guiding it a little lower to his abs - those obviously being the newest feature since the last time she'd seen him naked. He'd always had an athletic body, which honestly came with the territory of being the captain of almost every sports team at St. Jude's but it had never been trained the way it was now. Perks of having a gym inside the apartment complex' which he lived in and his workouts being the only actual free time he seemed to get on the regular.

Serena: The mix of the incredibly familiar with the unfamiliar was intoxicating - it had been similar when they’d last gotten back together, the memory of their very first night spent together overwritten then  by new memories, only to now meld into a completely new chapter altogether. Nates assertiveness and confidence was perhaps what had grown the most over the years, his own awareness of his effect not just in her but on women an obvious trait - and one she was all too eager to witness, especially if it meant he’d give her all this time to let her eyes roam over his naked body only to encourage her fingers to explore his naked chest, his heartbeat matching hers as she paused to just feel the heat of his skin underneath her finger tips for a moment. When he slowly guided her hand lower she couldn’t help but grin at him, frankly not expecting him to stop when her touch reached his abs though it was clear that he’d put many hours into this version of his body and she’d be lying if she’d deny that she more than appreciated it, her gaze following the lines of her fingers as she traced his muscles, following the line all the way down to the v of his hips, eyes flickering up to meet his for a moment before she confidently let her hand brush his length, fingertip tracing the underside of him before she wrapped her fingers around him, strokes slow but deliberate - the ultimate goal not to tease since something told her they’d possibly have the rest of the night to explore, manipulate, tease and tire each other out, but for not she wanted to, as she had said, feel him. “How often have you thought of this?” The blonde asked, not a taunting question but a serious one.

Nate: It was incredibly rewarding to watch her take everything of him in now, his eyes not once straying from her face to see every little reaction. Sometimes he wondered how all of his senses always seemed so… heightened when he was with her but he really liked the feeling. No matter how many other sexual experiences he’s had, nothing came close to this. Nate grinned back at her, knowing what she assumed his next move would be but also liking that she took her time instead, just like he’d silently asked her to. But when she finally reached where he’d been craving her touch the most, a little moan escaped him as his teeth slowly sunk into his lower lip and he closed his eyes for a moment. The question lingered between them for a moment, not because he didn’t want to answer it but because he was a little too lost in the moment to actually form a coherent sentence. “Too many times.” He then admitted, his voice a little hoarse as his gaze now met hers again, moving slightly from his current position so he could lean down and kiss her again. “I’ve been thinking about and longing for this for a really long time but I guess that’s kind of our thing.” He whispered against her lips, grinning for a moment because it wasn’t the first time he’d made a similar confession and he was sure they both remembered it still before he kissed her, once again demonstrating his longing for her through it as his hand reached for hers again, pushing it down into the mattress above her head, interlacing their fingers while he moved from his spot next to her back to his previous position between her legs. He knew they’d both been ready long before they’d even consciously made the decision to go all the way tonight, and waiting longer than he already had to feel all of her felt like torture so Nate didn’t hesitate to push her legs open just a little more and position himself at her entrance, pushing into her slowly. “Oh, Serena…” He lowered his head, trembling with an effort to go slow as his lips brushed over the soft skin of her neck before he filled her completely with one hard thrust, groaning against her skin. If he had been a little overwhelmed by the sensations earlier, he was now lost in a whirlwind of pleasure, the intensity of it, desperately craving more while at the same time wanting to savor every second and go as slow as possible, caused him to hold still for a moment to allow them both to enjoy the sensations rushing through their bodies. His fingers gripped onto hers a bit tighter when he could no longer resist the urge to begin moving again, thrusts still slow but hard as he lifted his head to look at her.

Serena: There was a quality to his deliberate movements, to the slowness of his actions. They were not underlined by uncertainty, doubt, or any kind of hesitating, they were punctuated by determination and a certain kind of force that was just bold enough to take her breath away. He was gentle without concern, at least not the kind of concern that she’d break under his touch, but much rather gentle for the sake of savouring the moment and each other. Although he had paused for a moment after the overwhelming sensation after he had thrust into her and yet it felt like she barely hard time to adjust to the sensation - to adjust to him in that moment. Her eyes met his, an encouraging twinkle in them that was only underlined by little gasps for air, all her senses filling with just him as she locked eyes with his, her body encouraging him to explore hers further, long legs adjusted to feel even more of him, her hand that he wasn’t holding differing into the muscles in his back, all while her hips shifted against his, meeting his thrust with an equal intensity, if not silently begging for more.

Nate: Though the encouragement wasn’t necessarily needed, it was still an absolute turn-on to have this additional confirmation that she was craving more as much as he was. There was no need to be shy or to hold back and boy, did he explore her body - touching, biting, licking, caressing, thrusting, whispering words of affirmation into her ear - all of it turning this night into something that would be forever theirs. A night worth remembering no matter what the future was holding for them. And yet, when they were done exploring each other like it was the first time all over again and their bodies were finally all tired out but satisfied, Nate couldn’t help but hope it wouldn’t be the last time he’d fall asleep with her in his arms.

[elisexvdw]

Elise went up to Serena's penthouse suite just a floor above theirs in the Palace Hotel to see her about the blast. She wanted to make sure that her cousin was okay and that she wouldn't blame her about the blast. Elise makes trouble and causes drama so her parents would pay more attention to their children but that's not all there is to her. She's still enjoying life as a teenager so she likes to stir shit but she's not totally a bad person. She cares about her family and especially her cousin who she can relate to. She rang the doorbell once before telling Serena that she's outside. "Hello? Serena? It's me, Elise! Can I come in?" @theserenavdw

[roxannelong]

Text: Blair & Serena

Roxanne: I know you two are both married are probably busy Memorial Day week/weekend, but how do you two feel about a women's trip to my place in the Hamptons?

Roxanne: It'll be Dylan, Quinn, myself and Frankie

[chuckbbass]

“Blair is busy but I wanted to come and thank you for watching Henry while her and I were in Paris.” Chuck said to his sister as he walked over to her in her penthouse. He had a Prada bag with him with had a few things that Serena would like and even a signed JD Salinger book for Dan. “Tell me, how was he?” @theserenavdw​

[ggblasts]

Queen S is back!

 Queen Serena is back and she’s glowing and no, not in the maternal way.

I mean as in the happy way! 

Serena was previously in the Hampton’s getting some sun and apparently being away from her soon to be ex husband Dan Humphrey, did wonders for her!

Rumor has it though that Serena is doing what her mom used to do and redecorating her penthouse. At least she comes by the getting over her husband thing honestly.

Now I am wondering how long it’ll be before S moves on and who she’ll move on to.

Until then, welcome back S and don’t get too cozy because I know you’re back and I cannot wait to catch up.

XOXO, Gossip Girl

@theserenavdw​

[xoxo-gossipgirlrp]

Kennedy Rain Vanderbilt

Serena van der Woodsen

[sabrinaxrw]

Natalia liked Blair and Serena a lot when she used to read Gossip Girl so she was happy to see Serena. They have met before at one of the charity events she hosted and was quite friendly with older woman. "Why didn't I think of that? And worst of all, there's Gossip Girl. I cannot let her know about this so I have to be extra careful with it." Natalia immediately realized that Serena was right and she couldn't risk this information about her to be leaked. Natalia is bat-shit crazy. Xoxo, Gossip Girl. She was thinking of the worst thing that Gossip Girl would post once she knew about Natalia's dissociative personality disorder. Natalia just shook it off and smiled at Serena when she received the papers from her. "Thank you so much, Serena! I'll do exactly what you said. What have you been up to? I literally haven't seen you much since that event."

It was the end of the school day when Natalia woke up in her bedroom. Natasha was able to come home safely before she switched back to Natalia. She wrote intricate notes for her two alters so that they could make sure that they're always safe and she made them sign to promise that they're gonna follow her rules. However, she doesn't know if they would really follow it so she needs Stella's help on that. She decided to go to the Met. Natalia took out the folder from her doctor in her bag and started walking up the steps. She wanted to sit and read it before she goes in the museum to get inspiration for her fashion magazine. Natalia suddenly saw someone familiar sitting on the steps in front of her so she waved at them. Natalia accidentally dropped the folder while waving and the loose papers inside was sprawled on the steps. "Oh My God! I'm sorry, can you help me pick them up? Hey, don't read them! I- Uh... It's extremely complicated." @ggstarterblog

[xoxoblairwb]

“Serena, hey there.” Blair smiled at her friend as she walked into her friend’s penthouse. Her eyes scanned the place when she saw that her friend was renovating and rearranging and finally landed on the blonde. “Do you have time to catch up and get a coffee? If not, I can call for Darota to bring us one.” @theserenavdw​

[danhumphreyx]

“Serena, hey.” Dan said to his wife when he walked into their apartment. He had just come back from seeing his dad and Lisa in Brooklyn. “I got Blair’s text about Juliet. How are you feeling about that? Please tell me you haven’t run into her. We can get you a restraining order if we have to.” @theserenavdw​

[xoxoevelyns]

“Honey, I’m home!” Evelyn joked as she walked into Serena’s place with a smile. “I brought you a bottle from some after party at fashion week I went to.” She added and put the unopened bottle down and smiled at Serena. “How have you been?” @theserenavdw​

[sageedwardsxo]

theserenavdw​:

“Yes..something like that!” She could not actually remember that it had ever been something gossip girl had picked up on, but school gossip did travel just as quickly, did it not? “It feels a little last minute for a home made gift though, doesnt it?” 

“Serena, you’re you. You could give Dan a bag of potatoes and he’d love it becuase it came from you.” Sage pointed out with a laugh. “I can help you make the scrap book though, I do some scrap booking on my very rare downtime from work.”

[nathcnielarchibald]

Closet memories | Serenate

Who: Serena van der Woodsen ( @theserenavdw ) & Nate Archibald

When: September 14th, 2022

Location: Nate’s apartment

Summary: Nate comes home after work to find Serena sitting on the floor of his closet with a box of memories he’d kept of their past.

Trigger Warnings: none, just fluff

Nate: One of the easiest and simplest things in life was probably falling into a routine without even actually intending to. It was honestly a beautiful thing when something just fell into place and felt so… right. Nate knew that the current hiding in plain sight game Serena and him were very much indulged in would have an expiration date eventually but for now, he was enjoying every single second of it. When he’d made the offer that she could stay with him while she was redecorating her place, he hadn’t even thought about the fact he would then come home to somebody every day. Which also was something he’d never really experienced - well, except for the time when he lived with Chuck but he was just his best friend, so that obviously couldn’t compare. Having Serena around as much as she’d been in the past month was truly a blessing, maybe he’d even go as far as saying that he’s never been happier. Of course, most of the evenings after work and late nights had been spent between the sheets - or on every other surface they could find but it wasn’t just the sex that he enjoyed, it was as simple as her presence, starting with getting to fall asleep and waking up next to her, early breakfasts together before work and eating takeout most evenings after work… and then there had also been the short sailing trip with her over Labor Day that now counted as one of his favorite trips ever. It’d been exactly the kind of calmness and blissful time he’d needed. Maybe he was slowly starting to get a little obvious about having someone in his life worth enough to get off work on time instead of spending endless hours in his office whenever it wasn’t exactly necessary, but he couldn’t care less. Tonight, however, he got off later than planned, his last meeting taking longer than any of the involved parties had actually intended but he knew Serena felt so at home at his place that she’d know how to pass all that time on her own. If she was already back from checking in on the progress of her renovations. He’d picked up some food from Serena’s favorite restaurant on his way home, leaving the bag with the food on the kitchen table when the only thing he saw of her were her shoes and bag on the floor next to the door but no gorgeous, long-legged blonde to be found in the living room or anywhere downstairs. While he was looking for her, he saw light coming from his closet wondering for a moment if he’d forgotten to turn it off only to then be met with the sight of the person he’d been looking for, sitting on the floor of his closet with a few clothes scattered around her, "We're back to raiding my closet, I see. Or were you secretly trying to get rid of everything you deem a fashion disaster while I was gone so I'd never wear those clothes again?" Nate grinned, not yet noticing the box on the floor next to her.

Serena: It had not exactly been a conscious decision to basically move in with Nate, but not that she had comfortably settled at his place it was hard to imagine not to actually be around him as much as she was right now. It wasn’t reality and it could not be their actual reality, at least not while they were still very much hiding away, but for now it was what they both seemed to crave and need the most - not to mention the fact that they were unbelievably lucky. God only knew she had not assumed they’d manage to keep this from gossip girl for as long as they had now, even if she was only leaving the house for the moments when she really needed it. It had been an oversight on her part, going back to her place and leaving some clothes there without picking up some new clothes, especially comfortable things to wear around his place, in the process - however, it was a good excuse to raid Nates closet. A habit she had always enjoyed, long before they’d been dating and even more so once they were together, both back then and now. It they were dating, whatever this was seemed not to need any words or descriptors, at least not for now. The blonde couldn’t help but chuckle when she turned on the light in his closet and moved towards the section that held all his pullovers and comfy shirts. Serena knew well enough which ones were old and probably at this point overworn, he seemed to have a habit of not exactly letting go of clothing he liked, and it was exactly those pieces she gravitated towards. Pieces that smelled like his and held his memories. She already had a favourite shirt of his back when they first started dating, now there was a particular cashmere pullover that had become a favourite while they were eating take out on his couch in the evenings. When she found the item she was looking for, she’d pulled it out from underneath a few other things, causing them to tumble - fortunately that was, or else she would have hardly ever crouched on the floor of his closet where he seemed to keep more than just some less loved pieces and shoes. The white monogrammed shirt could have easily been mistaken for a fallen one of his daily office shirts, but she had worn it too much to mistake it for something less than what it was. While the shirt itself was amusing, something she considered a token of the past, probably not just theirs - she was well aware that her step sister for example had worn it as well, but she had not expected to find a whole box of trinkets. Now, Blair would have found a box like this on purpose and would have known what to do…Serena on the other hand wasn’t quite so certain at first, although once it was open it was hard not to look at each piece inside the box. She had been so lost in thought that she hasn’t even heard Nate until he stood behind her and asked. “Hey…!” She greeted him, still somewhat absentmindedly as she held up one of the many little things she had just found, handcuffs dangling from her fingers as she did so - and while this could have been a bit of a dirty little secret of his, the fact that she had been the one to buy them many moons ago…and it came with Polaroids from a birthday party she had planned for him, made them strangely sentimental. Motioning for him to come closer she turned her attention back to the mess of memories in front of her. “I can’t believe you have all of this still….!”

Nate: It amused and yet at the same time confused him that she seemed so in thought, wondering what exactly put her in that state of mind while she was crouching on the floor of his closet. But he didn’t think about it any longer when the handcuffs came into his sight, not recognizing them right away because they looked just like regular ones. Despite her barely paying attention to him, there was a smirk stretching across his face. “Hmm, is it dirty games night?” He walked over to her, taking the handcuffs from her fingers, almost ready to pull her up from the ground but then she motioned towards something that - now that he payed attention to it, explained why she’d been so in thought and why the handcuffs maybe should’ve been familiar. There was not even a single part in him that was upset she’d found the box and was looking through it - he maybe was a little embarrassed because he wasn’t sure if this seemed… pathetic but the smirk slowly softened into a smile as a soft blush crept onto his cheeks. “Oh,” he chuckled, “Well, you know I can be sentimental sometimes too.” Nate tried to brush over it but then decided to sit down next to her, not to take the box away from her but he had a feeling that she maybe would want to talk about her findings a little more. And except for the fact that he was embarrassed, he hadn’t gone through this box in a long time so the thought of just going through old memories together seemed kind of nice. “Did the coat ever magically find its way back to its old owner?” He asked after a few minutes, grinning when he came across the invite to the French ambassador’s state dinner, the memory of their hook-up in the coat closet not one he’d ever be able to forget.

Serena: His words snapped her out of her trance for a moment, eyes wandering from the handcuffs to him as she shook her head with an amused smile on her face, the cuffs stored next to her for now but kept in the back of her mind. The night was young after all. When she noticed him blush she couldn’t help but smile, one hand softly reaching for his when he did finally sit down next to her, the silence for a moment not uncomfortable but reassuring, especially when he too started looking through the things that he had kept. “I can’t say it did, but the dress also never magically returned to mind so…!” It had been a reckless night, they’d been playing games which had been unlike them to begin with only to crumble once they’d been along together. Only that alone wasn’t exactly alone but in a coat closet. “Sometimes I wonder how we never got into any trouble…or didn’t have sex in public more, a toss up between the two really!” The last part was more of a joke than anything else, as her hands continued to lift different things from the box, each flooding her mind with memories though she wondered if some of their happiest moments even had memories, at least physical ones attached. “You kept this all the time…no girl ever made you want to get rid of it? I mean, nobody ever made you feel like the chapter was well and truly closed?” Perhaps the more honest question would have been if none of her endless relationship had made him want to give up, each the love of her life for approximately a month and the excitement often shared with Nate who had always been her confidant throughout the ups and downs, sometimes more so than Blair for his tendency to smile rather than judge. The possibly oldest thing in their was the one that marked time the most, not to mention their struggles - the invite to the Shepard wedding almost a little faded, no wonder since the then happy could was divorced by now. “To think how different everything could have been if…I mean if I hadn’t left after everything that happened that night. We might..I might never have met Dan, it’s..the world works in mysterious ways, huh?” It wasn’t as much a sad thought, everything that had happened lead them to this, being huddled away in his apartment somewhat hiding from the world for a little while and she adored it. “I did see my favourite shirt somewhere around here as well…but I do worry what other memories might be, should we say attached to it?” Serena then asked teasingly, scanning his face for a reaction she knew he was never good at hiding from her.

Nate: "Such a shame... I loved that dress. I wonder what happened to it... somehow I can't shake the thought if it disappeared without us noticing it, maybe we have actually been seen by someone that night." The grin never faded as he continued his thought, not that he had actually wanted to be seen or had been seeking it but the risk to be seen was the kick most got out of having public sex, right? If they'd been caught by anyone they surely hadn't come forward and he wondered if it had to do with the fact they'd stolen Serena's dress. It couldn't just have disappeared but well, that would probably be a mystery they'd never be able to solve. Just as much as they'd probably never really know how they'd always seemed to get away with those moments that should've been private but were more public without anyone complaining. To anyone but them it was likely a little more obvious and also perhaps self-explanatory since the two as individuals already had enough charm and kindness to them as well as the looks to draw others in but together they were the kind of couple that a lot of people just loved to watch at parties or doing simple everyday things - and were jealous of. The most charming part of it was that they as a couple didn't depend on other people's attention or even cared much for it, it had only been an added bonus to their already existing happiness. Maybe the first thought that really crossed his mind at her joke, which included the possibility of adding some more of those public sex experiences to their previous one now, shouldn't have been one to begin with, considering his current position and what it could do to his career if they were caught, but Nate couldn't really care less. Though he did only let out a laugh at her joke and decided not to give that thought away yet. He watched her for a moment as she kept roaming through the box, her question causing him to look up and directly at her as he was caught a little off guard by it. The question in itself wasn't truly a surprise since keeping all of this despite her being married and him having been in different relationships since then as well was not only surprising but did indeed indicate that he'd kept holding onto something that technically should've been a closed chapter. But... he'd never actually thought about that. Or maybe he'd always felt like there was something to hold onto, even if in the end it would only be on a platonic level. "No... because it always felt like there was always something... beyond friendship lingering between us and deep down I knew that never really went away completely so..." He trailed off, unsure how to put his feelings and thoughts into words that made sense, there had just always been that looming question of 'what if' above them or so it felt like to him, no matter the situation they were in but they both had been great at pushing that aside or ignoring it completely. Most likely because they were both scared where it would lead and how vulnerable and... truly happy it would've made them. There were so many times either of them watched relationships fall apart while they were still young and just growing up and how those had the power to destroy people, the effects and aftermath of it not being pretty at all, not only for the adults involved but the children as well. The fear of not knowing for sure what a connection as deeply rooted as theirs could look like if they really allowed themselves to be happy was something he believed always kept them from going there. Almost as if they were scared to be... happy just for the small chance of it not working out. Admittedly, these days the stakes were a little higher and there were some factors that could work against them but if they'd face them as a team, he was sure they could work against them just fine. The road would surely be bumpy but if it meant they would have a future it'd be absolutely worth it. "There's... no one like you. A part of me would've always belonged to you, no matter what my future would've looked like." He then admitted, his gaze only straying from her face a few moments later when she came across the Shepard wedding invite. As painful as some parts of that memory were, it also held more meaning to him since they had really spoken about it all those years back when he'd finally gathered up the courage to tell her how hurt he'd been when she disappeared - although he was sure she'd seen it in his eyes already when she told him she didn't come back for him once she'd finally returned from Boarding school all those years ago. Nate wasn't even sure if he wished that anything would've happened differently. Sure he was a little curious to know if maybe they would've been married and perhaps even with kids by now but at the same time - what if they wouldn't even have lasted throughout high school and she would've gone off somewhere else eventually so they wouldn't even be sitting here today, maybe not even talk at all anymore? People always claimed things happened for a reason, so maybe this was how it was supposed to happen for them as well. He was pulled back into reality and away from all those thoughts clouding his mind for a moment when he heard her question, a grin stretching across his face instantly as she added the last bit, pursing his lips for a moment to give himself some time to answer. It hadn't been intentional of him that every women who spent more than just a night with him ended up dressing up in that specific shirt - Jenny obviously not one of those he had been intimate with as her wearing it had only been part of her weird plan to break them up - but the thought was kind of funny in hindsight... and a little disgusting. "Yeaahhh, that's maybe one of the items that should stay in the past. I can't even tell you why I kept it." The latter was the actual truth, there hasn't been a specific reason why he'd kept it - a category most of his older, worn-out clothes that she'd come across earlier would easily fall into. "Maybe I should sort out my closet at some point... Or do you think I should rather try to convince someone to do a Nate Archibald exhibition and make that one as 'the shirt all the girls I've dated have worn' part of it?"

Serena: "I know, I really liked that dress as well!" Serena playfully pouted at him before she grinned at him teasingly "though if you ever decide to actually invite me to an embassy dinner, officially that is, I am sure I can find another dress that is worth you taking it off...and someone stealing it!" It wasnt far from the truth, if they ever were to become public, if that even was truly in the realm of possibility she knew she'd play the part, well aware of what he needed, but also well aware that she'd most likely push the boundaries of that every once in a while. She knew, even if she'd never admit it, that the two of them together had the ability to get away with almost anything, the kind of combination only genetically blessed individual with winning smiles and shiny eyes could get away with. Plus, in their world he had the bonus of being on of the few truly honest and righteous people – not to mention he made her a much better person in every way. "You've never invited me to actually visit you at the office and I have more than one theory why that is...!" She ultimately added, his office not exactly as public as an embassy dinner, but it was the place he spent most of his time at and it'd be a lie if she would deny that she had previously thought of just coming by whenever she had been sitting around his apartment waiting for him to come back. Not because she was bored necessarily, but simply because the hours apart seemed a little bit too long, even if technically...it was not even that long since she convinced him to stay with her far longer than she assumed he usually stayed at home. It was hard not to just smile brightly at his answer, an answer that just weeks ago would have broken her heart without being able to give him anything back..but now there was actually a chance that...she would actually belong to him, not in a purely longing sense, but in a real, true sense like it had never been before. If they were to really make this work, this could be a forever. "Well, you are pretty unique yourself!" She teased him softly, though her fingers softly tracing his chin as she spoke and the way she looked at him made it clear just how truthful those words actually were. Emotions fluttered across his face that were hard to decipher but she knew that they were thinking similar things, or so she assumed – and it made her laugh out loud when he actually broke the silence again once her question had broke the serious emotional undertone of their conversation. "God...I regret even touching it now. And I feel insulted that you did not deny it - the answer should be that I was by far more memorable in that shirt than any of them could ever be...!" A joke, clearly, or was it? "I mean, you have about as many clothes as I have...and you might need to get rid of some things if you'd...like to make some space for my stuff eventually?"

Nate: There was a brief, slightly mischievous glint in his eyes that matched the boy-ish grin spreading across his lips at her very tempting promise. It wasn't like he'd never thought about inviting her to anything before (not with the intention of adding another public sex adventure to their list since at the time they'd been friends) but just because these kind of events always were a lot more fun with her around. Something about her light and outgoing nature always turned even the dullest kind of dinners or meetings into the kind of memory one would never forget. "I'll keep that in mind." He may have grown up, matured even but the one part that likely would never change was the one seeking adventures like this - if he wanted her, nothing else hardly ever mattered and he'd be lying if he said he didn't love the thrill of it. "Oh, she has office sex fantasies!" Nate teased with a grin, though he wasn't exactly surprised, "Yeah? And what theories would that be?" One eyebrow quirked ever so slightly upward as his eyes studied her face now, amusement written over his. He had a feeling he could think of a few that crossed her mind too when in reality the only reason he probably hadn't was because he didn't think she actually needed or wanted an invitation to his office. After all, she'd shown up unannounced more than once and he always made time for her, so there was not a single reason he could think of why he wouldn't now. Especially when she'd show up with the intention of having sex with him. His expression softened when he saw that bright smile on her face, the effect it had on him a little unfair because he was almost sure he could literally feel himself melt into her touch despite her slightly teasing words. Words that he knew she actually meant but their playfulness with each other allowed them to be spoken in a more teasing manner, and for now he allowed himself to get lost in all of this because it felt too nice not to. A feeling he enjoyed for as long as it lasted before their playful banter gained the upper hand again, his teeth sinking into his lower lip to keep himself from bursting out laughing at her reaction to his confirmation. "I can't lie. You would've known either way." He grinned, "But if it helps - You were the only one I truly enjoyed seeing dressed up in it and also the only one I ever fucked while she was still wearing it. Plus, it has actually been cleaned several times." He pressed a quick kiss against her lips, one that he was actually ready to deepen when her following question once again caught him a little off guard because it was implying so much more for their possible future that he needed a moment to figure out if he'd made it up in his mind. His gaze searched for hers, smiling before he leaned closer again to whisper against her lips, "Mm, if you put it like that then I absolutely have to make some space eventually."

Serena: “Aw, he thinks it’s a fantasy!” Serena teased him, playfully throwing his words back at him. When he asked for her theories she couldn’t help but her grin to spread, considering her answer for a moment mostly just to make him wait a little. “Well, it’s not a fantasy because we both know that it’s more of a possibility, which is also where the theory comes in. Just not sure you actually want to share me with your entire office…not to mention the fact that I don’t like knowing who has been in your office before!” The last one certainly wasn’t a theory but a fact, but maybe that actually was the best part about their friendship and possible relationship, they knew each other history inside out, no uncomfortable surprises possible. It was much like what he said next, there was no reason to actually lie because they just knew each other too well for that. Plus they both had terrible poker faces. “The latter is very reassuring!” Serena admitted grinning when he mentioned that she was the only one he actually had sex with while she was wearing the shirt, which in term made her worry that he had then passed it onto other girls after that. “If not I would have to consider recreating some memories to block others!” She added laughing before his lips shut her up, at least until he leant back again. The short moment when he seemingly had to think about what she said made her wonder if he possibly didn’t want to think about anything that far ahead. But was it actually so far ahead when she basically was at his place constantly by now? When he leant in to whisper words against her lips she smiled into the kiss she now initiated, happiness truly so easy at this moment when it was just the two of them. “You realise it you let me in here I will take over rather quickly…right?” She then asked jokingly again, only breaking away a few millimetres to speak those words but not truly moving away from him.

Nate: The short waiting period she forced upon him caused his grin to match hers, knowing she only did that to arouse his curiosity a little more. Even if her answer was probably not something that would actually be surprising - which was confirmed when she finally decided to tell him the theories she had on her mind. It was no secret that even his office wasn't exactly off-limits whenever he was in a relationship, Serena had literally run into him getting dressed after having sex with his then-girlfriend while he was still running the NY Spectator and he'd dated his assistant last year. While Frankie and him did try their best to keep their love life away from the office just to avoid feeding too much into any kind of clichés, there hadn't been any reason to not cross the line a little whenever they were the only ones left in the building during their brief dating period. "I don't know, sharing is caring after all." He joked, smirking. "And I'm sure we could find a couple of...surfaces in my office that weren't... occupied before." Nate added as his gaze locked with hers. "It's cute that you're a little jealous though." Just as much as both of them weren't exactly the best liars, they also were hardly able to hide any kind of jealousy. It was one way to tell that Serena really cared about someone, though at times it could be confusing as hell too especially when she technically had no reason to be jealous. "Mmm, maybe it wouldn't hurt to recreate some of those memories though..." Not that he actually needed it to block others because honestly, Serena didn't even have to do anything to be the only woman on his mind constantly but he'd take any reason to add even more pleasure to their lives right now. If that meant she felt more secure and appreciated, that'd be just a bonus on top. "Oh no, does that mean my apartment will turn into a construction zone too? Because then I might have to take that back." He tried to keep a straight face to make it seem like he was actually serious but he failed miserably, trying to cover that up by pressing yet another kiss against her lips because he seriously would never get enough of them. "I think this bachelor pad could eventually use a female touch, so yes, I am aware and I don't mind."

Serena: Serena gasped playfully when he told her it was cute when she was jealous, her eyes rolling in tandem with the words leaving her mouth, only then reacting to the proposition that was hanging in the room. "Well, I am sure there would be one or two places we could...consider in the office, though I don't ever want to distract you from your work!" The blonde teased, eyes meeting his with a soft grin, if anything she had proven time and time again in the past few days that she'd be more than willing to distract him and keep him from his work, especially if it meant she could convince him to stay in bed..or just keep him from actually walking out of his front door. When he mentioned that he ultimately would not be opposed o recreating some memories she smiled at him somewhat triumphantly, not surprised by that admission, after all those memories had always served them well. Plus, most of the memories were so fresh in their mind still, despite the amount of time that had gone past, if anything it would possibly only be even more rewarding now. "No, I will not turn this place into a construction zone...and I dont even want to change things, not now at least, but maybe some space in the closet and in the bathroom eventually – the rest of the changes will be so subtle, you wont even notice me taking over!”

[chuckbbass]

@chuckbbass: I don’t post too much on social media, but I figured this be a nice throwback picture to a great time in California @nathcnielarchibald Sorry @theserenavdw, you were cropped out to show the better half of the NJBC 

[ggblasts]

opinion: dan and nate can both do better than serena

Very much agree with this one. @danhumphreyx @nathcnielarchibald @theserenavdw

[elisexvdw]

Elise smiled at her cousin and came in. "Hi! I have a basket of chocolate croissants and some coffee so we could eat them together, just like old times when we used to visit you and Eric when Aunt Lily's not home." She said and showed the cute basket that she was holding. "I'm just here for you if want to talk or not. We could also just eat and watch a movie, forget about the problems we have for a bit. Let me just put this on the table!" Elise told her cousin and walked to the living room so she could put the basket down on the coffee table.

Elise went up to Serena's penthouse suite just a floor above theirs in the Palace Hotel to see her about the blast. She wanted to make sure that her cousin was okay and that she wouldn't blame her about the blast. Elise makes trouble and causes drama so her parents would pay more attention to their children but that's not all there is to her. She's still enjoying life as a teenager so she likes to stir shit but she's not totally a bad person. She cares about her family and especially her cousin who she can relate to. She rang the doorbell once before telling Serena that she's outside. "Hello? Serena? It's me, Elise! Can I come in?" @theserenavdw

[xoxoblairwb]

“I’m assuming you got Roxanne’s text about the Hamtpons too?” Blair asked Serena as she sat down across from her friend. “I’m not gonna give her answer until you and I talk, but how would you feel about spending a week with Nate’s ex and the woman whose trying to seduce your husband?” @theserenavdw​