#they also always rotate flavors by the week?? like beyond crumbl the rotating flavors is also a trend

[aaaaatillathenun]

Im so upset that the dessert trend is shifting from cupcakes to cookies. Giant cookies taste like ass. Fuck u crumbl i blame you

[thehobbycollector]

The Seer and The Wolf - Ch. 2

50 years later

             Kestra Nightshade strolled through the towering trees that covered the western foothills of the Cambrian Mountains, munching on an apple. Morning sunlight trickled through the canopy, sparkling over leaves, making her feel like she was walking through a jewelry box. She had forgotten how ridiculously beautiful the land surrounding Doranelle was. Or she had never noticed. It was hard, she supposed, to appreciate beauty when you’d never known anything else. Technically she wasn’t even in Doranelle, but the magic of the Fae kingdom leaked across the mountains here, like ink into water, enhancing everything it touched.

             She kept her ears and her magic alert for any danger as she made her way parallel with the mountain range. She had never been to this part of Doranelle, but she remembered Narenes’ stories of the terrors that lived in these woods: wights, and skin walkers, and worse things. She’d grown up in the south-east of Doranelle, on a country estate where the only monsters they had to worry about were rogue Fae or raiders who didn’t understand that Fae females were just as deadly as the males. Narenes’ land had been bordered on the west by a sprawling vineyard, owned by another of Doranelles noble families, on the south by her parents’ land, and on the east by a river. That river marked the eastern border of Doranelle. And had nearly drowned Kestra when she had fled 65 years ago. She’d been a strong swimmer, even then, but the current had pulled her south for miles.

             Kestra chucked her finished apple into the underbrush, noting a trail on her left side. She veered away from it slightly and continued her stroll, carefully casual. She was nearing one of the many fortresses Maeve kept in these mountains, and she didn’t know what the sentries patrols looked like, how far they ranged. She had been on the northern coast three weeks ago, debating taking a ship to Erilea, when she’d had a vision of a pretty blonde girl surrounded by demi-Fae, and had felt a tug under her ribs. A sign of her magic pointing her in a specific direction. She did not want to be this close to Doranelle, but her gift hadn’t steered her wrong yet.

             She barely remembered her parents, or their home. Her father had died in one of Maeves’ wars when she was three, and her mother had followed her mate into the Afterworld three years later. The ancient and noble Family Nightshade had never been very prolific in bearing offspring, so Kestra had no siblings or cousins to take her in. Narene and Kestras mother, Avenna, had been friends for centuries, working together to defend their lands when their mates were off at war. Even though Narene already had two sons, both 18 years older than Kestra, she had taken her in and raised her as her own, absorbing the Nightshade lands and funds, to be held until Kestra reached her majority. That was the only home she had any memories of: running wild through the countryside, doing her best to keep up with her adopted brothers. Probably annoying the shit out of them every time she used her gift to find them whenever they tried to hide from her.

             She smiled slightly at the memories as she topped a rise and stopped to study the fortress before her. It rose up out of the trees, hugging the spine of the mountain slope, three watchtowers of dark stone encircled by a ring of towering rocks and held together by a large connecting building covered in moss and lichen. It looked like one good kick would send it crumbling to the ground. Kestra could practically hear the magical wards humming between those rocks, setting the hair on her back on end. It’d been so long since she’d been anywhere with that kind of warding. She noted males and females in light leather armor patrolling each of the towers, as she started toward the gate.

 ***

             As Kestra entered the large courtyard beyond the wall, a hooded sentry with his sword strapped across his back stepped out of a door and walked up to her. She stopped and let him come to her, watching how he moved, noting every detail in case this went horribly wrong. Being this close to Doranelle was such a bad idea. When he reached her he pulled back his hood and studied her for a moment, also noting every detail: the sword on her back, the pack over it, the various daggers under her ragged cloak, and the dirt, mud, and stains on her leather pants and jacket. Her blue leather pants. His eyes lingered on her legs, noting that color, before he met her gaze.

             “Welcome to Mistward. I’m Malakai.”

             “Keina,” Kestra offered.

             “Well met, Keina,” he said. “What can we do for you?”

             “I was hoping I could stay for a while, if there’s a room available,” she glanced around the courtyard, at the figures going about their daily chores.

             “I think we can probably find something for you.” He noticed her glance and added, “Everyone here works for their room and board.”

             Kestra nodded at the subtle inquiry in his voice. “I trained with the Vareshi Warrior Priestesses for 15 years, and have walked off about a dozen battlefields. But I’ll take any work you give me.”

             Malakai nodded and turned back toward the fortress. “Come with me.”

             He led her past the door he had come out of and around a corner to another door at ground level. The top half of it was open, providing a view of a large kitchen filled with work tables and shelves crammed with chipped serving and cookware. Another male was busy layering ingredients into a pan, and chatting with someone she couldn’t see through the open door. He looked up as they entered.

             Malakai gestured to her, “This is Keina. Keina this is Emrys, my mate.” Kestra nodded her greeting and acknowledgement of the warning in Malakais voice. He turned to Emrys. “Keina needs a room.”

             “I’ll see she gets one,” Emrys responded with a smile for Kestra, and a softer one for Malakai. The sentry stepped closer to his mate and kissed him softly.

             “I’m on patrol this afternoon, I’ll be back for dinner.” He turned to Kestra as he headed back out the door. “You’ll be on rotation starting tomorrow. Second shift until you’re familiar with the area. Training ring is on the other side of the fortress, be there at seven.”

             “Thanks,” she said to his back as he disappeared.

             “Hungry?” Emrys asked. She turned to look at him, and he gestured to a work table covered in platters of food. “Help yourself. We’re between breakfast and lunch, eat as much as you want.”

             “Thanks,” Kestra repeated. She grabbed a plate and loaded it down with potatoes, eggs, bread, tomatoes, and a pile of bacon. Emrys waved his hand toward a table on the side of the kitchen that she hadn’t noticed before, where a pretty blonde was sitting holding a cup of tea. The girl from her vision. Her long hair fell past her shoulders, pinned at the sides to keep it out of her face. Her skin was tan from time spent in the sun. Kestra smiled at her as she slid onto the bench across the table, noting her eyes: turquoise, ringed with gold. “Hi, I’m Keina.”

             “I’m Evalin,” she smiled back. She took a drink of her tea, allowing Kestra time to dig into her food. Here was another thing she had forgotten: the utter deliciousness of food prepared by the Fae. Her tongue could taste every layer of flavor and spice that had been lovingly blended into everything, even as she covertly studied the girl across from her. She was wearing a tunic and pants, well made of high quality fabric, with subtle details stitched at the cuffs and collars. The pins holding her hair up would have cost a small fortune, but she wore them casually. Kestra noted her rounded ears, but her scent… not entirely human. The girl, Evalin, seemed to be studying her too. Eventually, Evalin spoke.

             “What brings you to Mistward?”

             Kestra shrugged as she paused her eating to drink from her own tea. “Nothing, really. I’m a bit of a wanderer.”

             From the other side of the kitchen Emrys asked, “Where all have you been?”

             Kestra took another bite of bacon and thought it over. The information was probably harmless. “Varesh, Akkadia, Ishmalen, Karstok, Amarna…” she mixed up the order, just in case. “And all the little places in between.”

             Evalins brows rose slightly at the list of kingdoms that were spread across most of their world, and Emrys let out a soft whistle. “That’s quite a bit of travel to do on your own,” he said. She noted the question implied in the comment.

             “I trained with the Vareshi Warrior Priestesses for 15 years, “she repeated what she had told Malakai. “I can handle myself.”

             Evalin sighed across the table. “I wanted to be a Vareshi Warrior Priestess when I was a kid. Do they really walk around the Vareshi temple wearing only their weapons?”

             Kestra heard Emrys choke as she snorted her tea, and grabbed a napkin to wipe off her face before answering. “No,” she laughed. “Though their style of dress could be considered scandalous in most areas of the world. Blue leather leggings under a black skirt split up both legs to allow for easier movement in battle, and either a short shirt showing the midriff or just a breast band,” she explained.

             “No armor?” Evalin asked.

             Kestra shook her head. “According to temple code, armor is only for acolytes or the untrained. The theory is that true warriors are so skilled they don’t need armor, and every wound acquired is a lesson in where you let your guard down. I always thought it was kind of stupid, especially since most of the priestesses are human…” she trailed off and shrugged again. She had never really understood that rule. Not when armor would have provided them a better advantage in battle. But she had to admit, their training went a long way toward keeping the priestesses alive. There was a reason they were famous across the world.

             She looked at Evalin again, “why didn’t you go train with them, if you wanted to be one?”

             The girl sighed. “According to my father, princesses aren’t warriors.” Kestra cocked a brow at the word princess, and Evalin added, “My family rules Wendlyn.”

             Both of Kestras brows rose at that. Her magic had sent her to meet an Ashryvver? This definitely was a bad idea. The Ashryvvers were related to Maeve through one of her sister-queens. She couldn’t remember which one. “What are you doing at Mistward?”

             Evalin fiddled with her tea cup, glancing at Emrys. “My brother is the Crown Prince, so while I’m a princess of the realm, I don’t really have any… responsibilities at home. I came to Mistward to learn more about the demi-Fae, since I technically am one.” She sat forward and crossed her arms on the table in front of her. “Did you know that Maeve doesn’t allow them into Doranelle?”

             There was an ever so slight tinge of disgust in Evalins voice when she mentioned Maeves name, that made Kestra sit up straighter. She shook her head at the question. She couldn’t remember having ever met a demi-Fae when she had lived in Doranelle, though she knew they existed. Mostly in places like the City of Rivers, Doranelles capitol. Humans were allowed into the cities for trade, but they were rarely seen in the countryside where she had grown up.

             “Only purebred Fae are allowed to live in Doranelle,” Evalin went on, warming to a topic she had clearly discussed many times. “The demi-Fae are relegated to places like this, on the border between Doranelle and Wendlyn. She lets a few special demi-Fae into her kingdom, if they’re powerful enough, but that’s it. I may have initially come to learn about my heritage, but I decided to stay for a while to help them.”

             Kestra tried not to gape at the girl. “You’re… in contact with Maeve?”

             Evalin grimaced. “I’ve sent her a few letters. She’s only written back once. She won’t deign to leave her palace in the City of Rivers. Not even for me.” She shifted in her seat. “She’s being remarkably unhelpful, even for her. So, I’ve started lobbying with my family to increase the demi-Faes rights in Wendlyn. The Fae might belong to her, but technically they live in Wendlyn. And should have the same rights as the other citizens.”

             Kestra stared at the princess. She didn’t know what to say. This was… What the hell was she doing here? She glanced side-long at Emrys, diligently working on another dish and pointedly trying to look like he wasn’t listening to this conversation. Her gift had brought her into contact with a Wendlynian princess, who was related to Maeve, and… clearly didn’t like her. Kestra looked back at Evalin and asked, casually, “Want some help?”

[junker-town]

8 NFL matchups that deserve their own bowl games

They aren’t official rivalry games, but they should be.

There’s plenty of intrigue in the recently released slate of NFL regular season games in 2019. As is tradition, divisional foes like the Steelers and Ravens, Packers and Bears, or Rams and Seahawks will all see each other twice. The league’s rotating cast of conference foes — which ensure division winners play other division winners and last-place finishers play other last-place finishers — has also lined up can’t-miss matchups like replays of last year’s AFC and NFC title games.

But there’s more to the 2019 schedule than just big showdowns between teams with Super Bowl aspirations. In fact, the best games this fall might just be the ones with fewer playoff implications but deeper storylines running under the surface.

This season’s schedule is filled with games that pair two franchises historically intertwined with one another, whether through a shared history, trade, or corporate marketing happenstance. 2019 will play host to games that go beyond their “TEAM A vs. TEAM B” label in the TV listings and deserve their own proper bowl titles.

So which games have earned this special consideration in 2019? I’ve got eight in mind, specifically.

The Free Beer Bowl: Cleveland Browns at New York Jets, Week 2

When the Browns beat the Jets in Week 3 last year, rookie quarterback Baker Mayfield delivered a win that gave Cleveland its first victory in 635 days and unlocked fridges loaded with 2,000 free beers across Northeastern Ohio.

The cooler is open #VictoryFridge pic.twitter.com/Q8uuT10Zhs

— Rod Scott (@fun_rod) September 21, 2018

Now the two teams will lock horns for another showdown — this time in the scenic confines of northern New Jersey.

The Browns have been building momentum ever since, finishing a better-than-expected 7-8-1 in 2018 and then boosting the roster with Odell Beckham Jr., Kevin Zeitler, and Sheldon Richardson this offseason. For the first time in a long, long time, Cleveland is favored to win the AFC North. While things aren’t as optimistic for the Jets, they’ll have an improved Sam Darnold firing passes to Le’Veon Bell and Jamison Crowder, and a defense led by Pro Bowlers C.J. Mosley and Jamal Adams.

And Bud Light? Well, the last Jets-Browns game was an absolute marketing success for them, all for the cost of some free drinks, coolers, and WiFi-enabled padlocks. The brewing monolith certainly sounds like it’s got something up its sleeve to bring more beer-flavored beverages to Browns fans in 2019.

We're feeling dangerous. Let's raise the stakes. https://t.co/ZuIDCzVg4X

— Bud Light (@budlight) April 1, 2019

The Cutler Bowl: Chicago Bears at Denver Broncos, Week 2

The winner gets to claim this handsome prince, taken from the league too soon (though, apparently, just in time for Kristin Cavallari’s milk ducts):

The Schadenfreude Bowl: New York Giants at New England Patriots, Week 6

There are only three blemishes on Tom Brady’s Super Bowl record, and two of them are courtesy of Eli Manning. The longtime Giants quarterback’s biggest accomplishments in the NFL both came at the Patriots’ expense, as clothing banks across developing countries can attribute their 2008 backlog of “19-0” shirts to the youngest Manning brother.

Manning has more postseason wins over the Patriots than AFC rivals like Philip Rivers or Ben Roethlisberger. Something about facing Bill Belichick’s always-game defense brings out the best in him, as his quarterback rating against the Patriots — 96.8 — is more than a dozen points higher than his career average. This October, he’ll get one final chance to dispatch the Pats in what may be the final season of a 16-year career.

Another win could spark another wave of “is the Patriots’ dynasty crumbling?” that followed early-season losing streaks in 2014 and 2018. This would be just fine for New England, since it recovered from September and October losses to teams with losing records those years to win the Super Bowl.

The Henry Rowengartner Syndrome Bowl: Green Bay Packers at Kansas City Chiefs, Week 8

The two quarterbacks who make the most impossible throws in the NFL square off. Expect Hail Marys that scrape the damned moon:

AARON FREAKING RODGERS: https://t.co/fxCTbTAGN9 pic.twitter.com/tYglGBFbWZ

— SB Nation (@SBNation) December 4, 2015

And no-look passes galore:

it took roughly 3 minutes for Patrick Mahomes to throw a no-look pass at the Pro Bowl pic.twitter.com/vgP9BxnQ9u

— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) January 27, 2019

If there is a just and caring god out there, this will just look like a 60-minute ad for a 2020 revival of NFL Blitz.

The 2% or Whole? Bowl: Washington at Minnesota Vikings, Week 8

This is the NFL’s battle over the overflowing glass of 2% milk a drunk wizard once shamefully turned into a quarterback, Kirk Cousins.

Kirk Cousins is selling “YULE LIKE THAT!” Christmas sweaters.. pic.twitter.com/kujx5RoBoL

— Danny (@recordsANDradio) November 18, 2017

Washington didn’t want to commit to him long term, so instead it invested nearly $44 million to keep Cousins on hand via the franchise tag and completely torched its connection with the homegrown QB. That led him to a three-year, fully guaranteed $84 million contract in Minnesota, where he’s been less successful than Case Keenum — who, coincidentally, will probably be Washington’s starting quarterback in this game.

So technically you could call this the Case Keenum Bowl, too, although that honor could also go to Texans-Broncos. Neither one sounds especially exciting though.

The FireBowl: Baltimore Ravens at Buffalo Bills, Week 14

This just seems like the game where Bills fans will drink the most Fireball and put each other through the most flaming tables of 2019.

Dumbest thing you’ll see all day pic.twitter.com/0BNW8Ixknj

— Eric Rosenthal (@ericsports) October 22, 2017

#BillsMafia

The Belichick Bowl: Houston Texans vs. Tennessee Titans, Weeks 15 and 17

This pairs up any team with a head coach either plucked from Belichick’s coaching tree or, now that Vrabel’s leading the Titans and Kliff Kingsbury’s somehow the Cardinals’ sideline general, New England rosters of yore. The winner gets something approximating a smile from their former boss. The loser gets taken off Belichick’s Christmas card list (it’s just a white sheet of paper informing you he’s donated $50 to the Human Fund in your name).

The Dolphins (Brian Flores) and Lions (Matt Patricia) are also eligible to participate, so Detroit-Arizona would also be a Belichick Bowl, just much sadder and more difficult to watch.

The ‘ahhh hahhaha oh shit’ Bowl: Pittsburgh Steelers at New York Jets, Week 16

Le’Veon Bell gets to face the team he feuded with for two years before winning his freedom, at home and with a likely chance to mess up the Steelers’ postseason chances?

Steelers players went into Le’Veon Bell’s locker, removing his nameplate and rummaging through items. Bud Dupree says thanks for the Jordan brand cleats. pic.twitter.com/gQaAu9hUPd

— Jeremy Fowler (@JFowlerESPN) November 14, 2018

ahhh hahhaha oh shit!