#they are both such treasures character-wise and all this nonsense makes them shine in the funniest weirdest spotlight

[kaus-quietis]

first Sans cleansed us of colonialism by doing absolutely nothing, now Reigen is cleansing us of twitter by doing absolutely nothing......... a series

[devilishdewitt]

“Ladies of Burlesque”, March 2019.

~The Eternal Disclaimer~

It is hereby declared that this little nook of the world wide web shall be devoted to the praise & critique of the art of burlesque, specifically in Russia.

Let it also be known that I am first and foremost a benevolent force, and every single criticism is documented solely for the purpose of evolution, growth and inspiration, darling.

Never forget - it is fantastic that the burlesque scene in Russia has grown so much in the last few years. Brava, ladies! As a fact and a statement, it is absolutely fabulous.

However, I volunteer to wear the heavy crown of expertise, having seen many a show in many a place, and having a keen eye for detail and a heart hungry for that wow factor. I always come with an open heart, am quite easily entertained, and know how hard the craft is - I can overlook many a fault when there’s stage presence, charisma and that fire of passion. Oh, and self-irony.

 All is sickly without self-irony.

Without further ado, onto our beautiful first show!

“Ladies of Burlesque” is the creation of Anja Pavlova, a shining star on the Berlin scene who descends into Moscow in attempt to elevate the world of Russian Burlesque.

The Venue

Quite splendid. Conveniently located minutes away from Taganskaya metro station, Dorfman karaoke drowns in luxury (it is painfully evident in the ludicrous lavatories). An atmosphere of glamour is immediately created - the view is good from all seats, the stage is well-located, the lights are a bit mad, but tolerable.

It is absurd for a Muscovite to complain about the price of anything, but the money demanded for the simplest things is aggressively silly.

The Wait

The producer of the show, who chose the somewhat childish moniker Konfetki, was at the door, checking the lists and being wonderful. She is delightful, but good God, please dress her better. The ensemble she chose did not fit the venue nor the atmosphere. She is gorgeous - let her outfit be gorgeous, too!

The magnificent lady selling pasties was exactly that - magnificent.

 I wish there was a lady like that everywhere I went.

The Performers

Anja Pavlova is undoubtedly a ray of jazzy 20’s sunshine. “This is the show of my dreams”, she announces, and you can tell it’s true - she is simply glowing. She clearly knows what she’s doing and she loves it completely. However, at times her beaming adoration for the performers seemed over the top - especially when her words were far from the truth.

When one thinks of a chorus line, the mind is immediately alight with synchronised wonders, radiant smiles & fascinating costumes. That is how Anja introduced the Ladies of Burlesque Chorus Line.

But oh boy, it was a spectacle for all the wrong reasons. The costumes do not flatter the ladies at all and look quite sloppy. They were saved by the gorgeous headpieces and smiles, but the moves…seemed incredibly random. Rare moments of synced movements provided some sense of relief, but over all, for chorus line dancers, they have an abominable sense of rhythm and don’t dance that well. The girls seem very nice, but don’t have the oomph & electricity to really capture the audience. Also, they left in what seemed to be an embarrassed hurry. Never!

Also, you’re doing a burlesque show & you’re not cinched? Girl, bye.

As a wise professor used to say, “It’s not about the size, it’s about the line”. Take care of that silhouette, mademoiselle!

Then came the singer, Marie Weinberg. If only she was as good as our charming host promised…remarkably, her stage presence was close to nil. Both of the dresses were gorgeous, but she should’ve worn the green one first - the black & diamanté ensemble should’ve been saved for dessert.

The choice of songs was excellent, but she did nothing with them. Her version of “Oops I Did It Again” was surprisingly charmless. One mustn’t even do much to make it a hit, it’s all there - the dramaturgy, the humour, the irony, but somehow she managed to make it gloriously bland.

I was bored! At a Burlesque show! Nonsense.

Does she have a good voice? Yes.  

Does she sing well? Yes.

Is she entertaining? No.

Does she know what do with an audience? No.

Do I want to see her again? No.

On to the deshabillants!

In general, I want to say that most of the acts were extremely similar. I know, I know, this is Burlesque, the main mechanism is quite predictable - but it seemed like 90% had a version of a wrap-around dress with pretty much the final look underneath. It is so fun to play with expectation in this genre, and somehow most of the performers completely overlooked this opportunity. However, this is only the beginning. Everyone started somewhere!

Ellisha Fox, I salute you. I can’t even imagine the amount of raised eyebrows and hurt pseudo-masculine egos you had to encounter on your path. His style is reminiscent of glorious anime characters, his moves are impressive, and those heels!! Those heels!!!! Good Lord, he’s a superhero!!

However, a pinch of self-irony would not ago astray. Perhaps, for a future act. I’d recommend taking a leaf out of Jett Adore’s book - specifically the Zorro act with which he travelled all over the world as part of Dita’s show.

Still, Ellisha had one of the best acts of the evening, Bravo!

If we were to speak about lack of self-irony, Tamasina Beansun is the queen of it. Her acts have excellent ideas - the Eve one she showed at last years’ Moscow Burlesque Festival, or the Little Red Riding Hood she presented this time - but her performances are so self-absorbed, at times one feels like he’s the third wheel. Like a party for one that you somehow found yourself in. And sure, it can be a style choice, but it’s not working. Sometimes it simply becomes vulgar. And it’s not a question of confidence, for it is always felt.

This is not the case. Simply put, she does not need the audience. Her self-indulgence feeds every appetite that she herself has.

Her Siberian Prime ally, Katerina Sahara, is an exact opposite. She loves the audience and it shows. Her acts range from witty & ironic (The Bunny), to majestic & mesmerising (the newest addition, The Dragon). Her moves are hypnotising, she always looks impeccable. She knows her worth and yet is the first one to laugh at herself. I must admit, her Dragon act amazed me. It was so well thought through, so gorgeous, utterly hypnotising. I often use her Bunny act as an example of brilliant Russian Burlesque. Can’t wait to see what she does next.

The Stage Kitten, our charming engineer, was quite good. I do wish she had a bigger moment though, you know, the moment. Also, perhaps it would be wiser to opt for a pair of more comfortable heels - the chance of a fall loomed over her in a quite a terrifying way.

Jeva Noir. I was particularly excited to see her, as I remember how sad she was at last years’ Moscow Burlesque Festival, sharing that they didn’t include her in the programme. Well, I must admit I can see why.

Does the act have an idea? Oh yes.

Is she gorgeous? Absolutely.

Is the costume marvelous? Quite.

The music? Good.

But something just didn’t click. Nerves? Perhaps. Some of her moves seemed forced & mechanical. In Burlesque, every move has a meaning, a purpose, a storyline to unveil. Also, a better wig is strongly advised.

If it is not a wig, better hair care is strongly advised.

Radmila Rocky Zombie got somewhat lost amongst the midst of performers. I was looking forward to this voluptuous beauty, but didn’t really get much. Caravan is a fantastic song, and she definitely has the skills, but something just didn’t work. There was no “wow” moment. I have a strong desire to see her other acts, this one seemed quite bland.

Well, Anja Pavlova is a treasure and a wonder. Not many leading ladies can shift between MC & performer with such ease & elegance. Her performances are a time machine, she exudes excitement. It is a treat to watch her.

However, when she gushed over the “kinky Burlesque” of Blanche De Moscou as something wildly original, I couldn’t help but wonder if she was convincing herself. In an industry where Dark Burlesque & Fetish Burlesque are huge, kinky Burlesque isn’t novel at all. Not even a little bit. Also, what was kinky about her number? A small demonstration of a few rather tame objects? The mask in the end? The spilling of the milk on her dainty bosom?

Blanche is a true enthusiast and her entrance look for this act is jaw-dropping. But the transformation that takes place in this performance can be made bigger, better, bolder.

THE FINALE

The show has a signature atmosphere of luscious elegance. It may not be thoroughly consistent, but it’s very clear that Pavlova knows what she wants and is working to fully fulfil her dreamy fantasy.

Perhaps if she were more strict and demanding, the results would be even more fabulous.

✶✶✶✶