#they are obviously not supposed to be there but balan is like 'not my problem :)' (/j /j)

[maraschinotopped]

i have finally gathered enough courage to actually draw balan wonderworld characters after having my brain think about that game for a week straight

[ariainstars]

Star Wars, the Last 20 Years or Can We Please Try to Stop the Blame Train?

I would like to touch a subject that’s starting to grate on my nerves a little.

Anyone here knows that I disliked The Rise of Skywalker heartily. And I’m not the only person here or elsewhere who tore it to shreds. But I am reading (again) over and over why and how JJ Abrams, Chris Terrio, Kathleen Kennedy and Co. made this mess. Instead of searching for culprits, this time I would like to point out a few things.

I. Star Wars Prequels

Jake Lloyd, Ahmed Best and Hayden Christensen had to endure awful harassment in their time: the audience largely vented their frustration on them because when the prequels hit theatres, they did not get the Star Wars they had wanted. Politics are a dry subject, and young Anakin and the Jedi Council were all too human to be liked by fans who expect coolness in a hero more than everything else; which is probably why Darth Maul is a huge favorite although we hardly learn anything about him and he says almost nothing. Ditto Obi-Wan although he is clearly not suited to train Anakin and it’s him who maims him and leaves him to burn in the lava. (Until I saw the film, I had always assumed Palpatine had tortured Anakin to push him to the Dark Side.) 

The prequels’ messages in general were not liked: the Jedi were not perfectly wise and cool wizards, the Old Republic was stagnant, Anakin was a hot-headed, frustrated young man desperate to save his wife and unborn children. The films do not want to excuse what he did; however they portray him not as a monster but as a human being who was under an almost unendurable pressure for years and years until he finally snapped.

These messages may not be “cool”, but they were realistic and most of all, humane. Portraying the Jedi as well as Anakin as powerful, flawless heroes and the old Republic as a just, prosperous and balanced place would have meant undermining a central theme of the original trilogy: the former generation could not have been all that powerful and wise, else the collapse of their world and the failure of their convictions would not have happened in the first place. It is a sore point, but still twenty years later Obi-Wan and Yoda denied that Vader was human and expected Luke to commit patricide. 

All of this goes to show that the Jedi’s moral standard was flawed and their attitude not rooted in compassion and pacifism the way they claimed. In the end, what they cared about was winning, no matter the cost. In this, they were no better than the Sith.

~~~more under the cut~~~

II. Star Wars Sequels

J.J. Abrams, Kathleen Kennedy, Bob Iger and company were the ones who introduced the Star Wars sequel trilogy and with it its themes, characters, setting etc. to us in the first place: I think we should give them credit where it’s due. Rian Johnson made a very beautiful second chapter with The Last Jedi, but he did pick up where the others had left. 

Kelly Marie Tran made experiences similar to Jake Lloyds or Hayden Christensen’s when The Last Jedi was hit theatres. She was disliked for not being “Star-Wars-y” enough, chubby and lively instead of wiry and spitfire, and also taking a lot of screen time while many fans were impatiently waiting for some grand scenes from Luke and / or Leia. 

That Episode VIII, the central and most important one, was called “The Last Jedi” cannot be overstated. Luke was literally alone with the heavy task of rebuilding a religious order that was gone and destroyed long before he even learned about it, and at the same time he had to patch together his own family and atone for his father’s sins. This is a crushing burden for anyone to carry. It was important both for Rey and for the audience to meet Luke to see that he was a good man, but still just a man.

When Luke spoke openly to Rey about the failure of the Jedi Order, it was the first time he ever spoke about it that we know of; this wisdom he obviously acquired only after his nephew’s fall to the Dark Side. Luke has understood that the ways of the Jedi were wrong; but he does not know a better alternative. Force users are still born all over the galaxy, and they have to learn to use their powers - only how? Again, Luke is not to blame. How is he to know, when the Jedi of the Old Republic had lost sight of Balance in the Force for so long that they didn’t know what it actually meant anymore? 

Same goes for Leia, the princess without a realm, who tried to rebuild the Republic after the galaxy had been terrorized by the Empire and devastated by war for many years. She assuredly did her best, but she was only human. That she failed her son is of course shocking, but after the horror she had to endure at the hands of her own father it is not surprising that she would be terrified of her son possibly going the same way. Ben, like Anakin, was crushed under a legacy and responsibility that was by far too heavy for him. The tragedy of his life and the disruption - and in the end, obliteration - of his family was another proof for the failure of the ways of the Jedi. 

All of these lessons until now were not learned from. But let’s be honest: how many of us come from dysfunctional families? If we do, was getting away from them enough to heal the wounds of the past? Did we find out what to give our children on their way in life, or did we fail them because we had not elaborated the past enough to make way for a better future? Such problems are very common, and to heal them is complicated and takes time. A “happy ending” e.g. in form of finding a new family is not enough, on the contrary, it can lead to wanting to leave the past behind, leaving wounds unhealed that will fester their way through our lives again, sooner or later. Star Wars always was an allegory of the human mind, even if deeply cloaked in symbolism. The saga also abundantly takes inspiration from the Bible, and I think it’s not coincidentally said there that the sins of the fathers are visited upon the children. 

As fans, we would have wanted to see films that cemented the Jedi as guardians of the galaxy, with the Skywalker family right at the center. Which in itself is impossible because Jedi are supposed to remain unattached, making the mere idea of a Jedi having a family absurd. If the prequels told us that the Jedi were flawed, the sequels tore down the myth of the Skywalker family. And both trilogies showed that you can’t be a Skywalker and / or a Jedi / Force user and have attachments and a happy family of your own at the same time. At least, not until now. 

 III. Film production

Many fans of old complained because the sequel trilogy implied that the “happy ending” of the original trilogy’s heroes had not been so happy after all and that after having made peace for the galaxy, they had failed to keep it that way. Other viewers however liked the new trilogy and new characters right away and began to root for them. But they, too, jumped on the blame train when the trilogy had ended: expectations were not met, and now director, producers, script writers, cutters etc. are faulted all over again.

The first person coming up with the idea of Han’s and Leia’s only child turning to the Dark Side was Lucas himself. It always was a main theme of the saga that war separates people who actually belong together, like family, couples or close friends; that is not played for mere drama, but because it emphasizes the absurdity of war.

We as the audience do not know how production went - it is very possible that Lucas approved the general storyline, and there is always a whole team on board. It is not easy to purchase such a large and immensely popular franchise; it was to be expected that if things went not the way the audience expected, the Disney studios would be blamed harshly for having “ruined Star Wars”. With the prequels, at least Lucas was still at the helm; it was conceded that maybe he had lost his magic touch with storytelling, but certainly not that he was trying deliberately to ruin his own creation. And the fans who could not praise the Disney studios enough after The Last Jedi came out, now blame them over and over.

The Disney studios have long-term politics to consider and contracts to observe, and we don’t know their contents. We have every right to be disappointed, but I think it’s not fair to blame one or a particular group of persons who are trying their best to satisfy as many viewers as possible. If they simply wanted to satisfy the average dudebro who sees nothing but clichés, two-dimensional characters and Good against Evil - then why did they allow The Last Jedi to be produced in the first place? The studios obviously are aware that there are fans out there who are ready to look deeper in the saga’s themes, who wish to see the Force coming to Balance, who value family, friendship and love over “victory at any cost”, and who do not place the Jedi on some kind of pedestal.

In a sense, The Rise of Skywalker seems like a bow before The Last Jedi: the weakest chapter of the saga followed one of its strongest. Maybe the authors were aware that equaling or even topping what Rian Johnson had created would be next to impossible, so they patched up the open threads of The Force Awakens together with some fan service hoping to be out of the business as quickly as possible.

In retrospect, the infamous podcast with Charles Soule might also be tell-tale: Soule obviously is not elbows-deep in the saga and largely ignores its subtext. Since his The Rise of Kylo Ren comics are quite well-made, I assume that the general storyline did not stem from his own creativity and that he only carried out what he had been advised to do. The production of the whole sequel trilogy may have happened in a similar way. I am not excusing the poor choices of The Rise of Skywalker; merely considering that one or a few persons cannot be blamed in a studio that has thousands of creative minds on board.

I am still hoping for the next trilogy to finally bring Balance to the galaxy, and also into the fandom. Rian Johnson had negotiated the rights for the next trilogy along with The Last Jedi; I assume it is very possible that there was a clause about intellectual property saying that only he would continue Episode VIII’s topics, nobody else. This would at least be an explanation, given the embarrassing, jumbled mess that Episode IX was.

The overall title of the saga assuredly never wanted to inspire the audience to start online wars attacking the studios or the actors or other fans out of the conviction of being entitled to blame someone else’s worldview. The saga’s message is compassion. Both George Lucas and the Disney studios are telling us their story; the idea and the rights do not belong to us. Harping on “whose fault” it allegedly is won’t bring us anywhere; what we can do is make the studios understand that we’re not too stupid not to understand the subtext, the symbolism and metaphysics of the saga beyond the action story. If they listened to the Last Jedi haters, in all fairness they are bound to listen to us, too. 😊

  IV. Will Ben’s story continue?

My husband already warned me years ago that Ben most probably wouldn’t survive, or at least not get a happy ending. As Kylo Ren he had already been the head of a criminal organization for six years at the start of The Force Awakens, but all of that perhaps could still have been condoned within the scope of war. It was the very personal and intentional act of patricide, the killing of an unarmed, forgiving man, who turned him into a damned person. And after the deed, Ben was aware of it. He knew there was no way out for him, he had gone too far.

Many members of the audience did not understand that Kylo / Ben is not an out-and-out villain and that this narrative ultimately was about his redemption. Bringing him back to the Resistance after the Exegol battle alive and by Rey’s side would not have been accepted; how was Rey to explain everything when she hardly understood it herself? How would the audience have reacted to the former head of a criminal organization, a patricide, suddenly standing out as a hero? Remember how in Return of the Jedi Luke asked Vader to come away with him. Now suppose Vader had complied? It would have seemed (and been) sheer madness. Nobody would have believed neither father nor son that the terror of the galaxy had had a sudden turn of heart. Nobody knew that he was Luke’s father; Luke himself did not know Anakin’s backstory; nobody knew what had transpired between Luke and Vader so far. Yes, Ben was young and healthy, but he still had terrorized the galaxy for years and killed his own father. He knew himself that he was damned and could not go back to normality, as Vader did.

Rey was coded as the heroine: narratively, the sequel trilogy was her story. Ben couldn’t become the hero, with or without her, at the very last moment. She usurped power like her grandfather in his time, the Skywalker family was obliterated the way the Jedi were, she takes over another mantle (Skywalker) the way Palpatine did (becoming the Emperor). Balance in the Force never was truly in the cards, it was only vaguely hinted at in The Last Jedi by the Force mosaic in the Ahch-To temple. Balance is a complex and difficult subject; it would have been extremely difficult to develop it in the sequel trilogy together with introducing the new characters and giving the old ones closure.

However: if Ben is brought back in the next trilogy, his sacrifice for Rey will have been his atonement. If his role this time is not that of the villain but of the hero, it would reverse Anakin’s path and make clear that he no longer is the same man. Vader was redeemed, not rehabilitated. His grandson might still have the chance to go that way.

- Luke had promised Rey a third lesson, and it happened. He also had promised Ben to “see him around”, which has not taken place yet.

- On Tatooine, Rey watches the twin suns setting, same as Luke before he met the other half of his soul (his twin sister) again.

- The studios had said that the sequels would be “very much like the prequels”; the prequels were a tragedy where the Dark Side (Palpatine) won that was followed by a fairy tale where the Light Side won.

- The Skywalker saga is closed, so if Ben comes back it would be justified by his being a Solo, i.e. the story of his own family and not his grandfather’s.

- Given the parallels with Beauty and the Beast, the Beast died before the broken spell brought him back, making him a wholly new person - his past identity, purged and redeemed.

- George Lucas repeatedly said that the prequels and the classics belong together as one narrative, with Anakin Skywalker at its center. First news of the next trilogy came up with The Last Jedi. Since there are strong parallels between Ben and his grandfather, we may assume that this six-chapter instalment will be his; Anakin also was left for dead but came back with a wholly different role and name.

- When Anakin was reborn as Darth Vader, he “rose” slowly from the ground, clad in his black armor. Ben fell to the ground abruptly and shed his black clothes, disappearing. This could be another clue. (It was also already speculated that Leia’s body dissolved exactly in this moment because she gave her life-force to her son for him to have another chance to live. Both Han and Luke had done what they could to atone for their remorse towards Ben; this might be her turn.)

- Much as I love Luke Skywalker, I can understand that Lucas did not see him as the saga’s protagonist. The overall arch is not so much about Luke’s heroism than about Anakin’s redemption and atonement. It is unusual because we expect the story’s “hero” to be the one who kills the Bad Guy; and indeed Anakin is, because he kills Palpatine in the end, the twist being that technically he is also a villain though not the archvillain.

- Ben had promised Anakin he would finish what he started. Anakin had been meant to bring Balance to the Force, and he had started a family. Until now, Ben did neither.

- If Ben and Rey are a dyad, i.e. one soul in two bodies, then Rey is in urgent need of her soulmate for her future tasks. She has her friends of course, but none of them gets her the way he did.

So, I still see reason to hope for a continuation, and, hopefully, satisfying conclusion of The Last Jedi’s themes.

  Film production: on a side note…

In the Nineties, Kirk Wise and Gary Trousdale were the directors both of Beauty and the Beast and Atlantis: two more different stories are hardly imaginable with regard to everything - drawing style, setting, characters, development, music etc. This outcome can’t have been only due to the director’s choices, there must have been a wholly different idea behind both films right from the beginning. Just saying.

[damienthepious]

oh, well, this is unexpected. Not a tuesday offering because... well, it’s not about that. Casey, Sky, & Ria, y’all are. partially responsible for this one. i love you sorry for the angst.

Mirrors Keep Our Reflections

[ao3]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: n/a

Characters:  Sir Damien, Sir Damien’s Father, Original Male Character

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, (as usual i do not know how to tag), Damien's family, (i am mildly unpacking damien's father), (also i have given the boy a sibling), (whom i love now), (and... whooops.... uh), Implied/Referenced Character Death, (at least twice over actually), Loss of Parent(s), Family Dynamics, Siblings, Grief/Mourning, Angst

Summary: If there had been a third child, he would have been named Ferdinand.

Notes: Whoops. Context: there's a patreon bonus guide to the second citadel thing that talks about names and naming in the 'verse, and apparently it is very common for children to pick a new name for themselves. Combine this with certain headcanons I have about Damien's family and you get.... a mess. Title from Domino by Squalloscope.

~

It is a cruel anniversary for all three of them. Aaron is unsure what their father thinks Damien will accomplish in his studies today, but neither of them argue when they are each assigned their tasks before their father locks himself away again with his holy texts.

Aaron is unsure as well, if their father is mourning, in this way, or if there is some other answer he seeks in the words of the Saints. It doesn't particularly matter, he decides, if it means that he and Damien will be left to mourn on their own, in peace.

When Damien's shoulders sag over his own reading, when he rubs at his eyes, Aaron steps up beside him, reaches forward, and closes his book.

"Aaron-"

"Come down by the pond with me."

"But father said-"

"A few minutes, Damien. Clear your head, give your poor scholarly eyes a rest, inhale some air that isn't half composed of dust."

His brother glances back down to the closed book again, guilty and reluctant, and then he scoots his stool back. "… Alright. Only for a little while."

The walk is short, and though the day is oppressively hot, the shade and the breeze are cool enough to guard them from the worst of it by the water's edge. Damien settles on the moss with a sigh, and he closes his eyes for a long moment as Aaron stares out over the glassy surface of the pond, watching the lines rippling out behind the family of geese on the far side.

"Do you… remember much about her?" Damien asks, after what seems like quite some time. His voice is very quiet, and when Aaron blinks and glances towards him, Damien still has his eyes closed, though his expression is tight and anxious.

After a long moment, Aaron sinks to sit beside his brother. "… less than I once did," he admits, and Damien opens his eyes so that he may watch Aaron's face instead. "Less than I wish I did. Memory is an unreliable creature. If you look away from it for too long, it will transform, or decay. I remember… I remember that she had clever eyes, a rare smile but easy humor… I do remember that she enjoyed mornings just the same as you, Damien."

Damien's smile is noticeably watery, but it is genuine. "Did she shove you from bed as I do?"

"When I needed a good shoving," Aaron grins, "yes."

"I wish-"

Damien's words come too fast. Too abrupt, and they cut off into the silence of the thrumming hot day just as quickly.

"I know," Aaron says, when the silence has drawn long. "I wish too. I miss her, and… and I miss the man that father was, when she was still here."

"Was he… was he-"

"He was still himself," Aaron says gently. "But- happier. Less unyielding."

"I think… I cannot help but think, how it could have been, if-" he inhales sharply, his brow furrowing. "The four of us, together. Or- the five, I expect."

"Five- ah." Aaron presses his lips together for a moment. "Right."

Aaron, and Damien, and-

Their parents would not have named them as they did, of course, if they were not anticipating a third with which to complete their reverent set.

"Another brother," Damien says, both sad and wondering. "We could have had another… another piece to our family. Some brave little boy we never had the chance to know-"

"You cannot know what another child would have been like, Damien. Simply because father would have named him Ferdinand does not mean anything about who he would have been. Or she, for that matter. A name such as that…"

"A name such as ours?" Damien asks, one eyebrow raised and his lips pursed into a pout.

Aaron eyes his brother in return, considering, and then he nods. "A name such as ours. The more I think on it, the more I know that it is a wretched thing to do. If we had another brother, if they named him as they clearly planned- likely he would toss the name on the next fire as soon as he was old enough to choose one for himself. Saints know how often I've been tempted to do the same."

"You- you have?" Damien asks, obviously incredulous, his eyes wide, and Aaron attempts to keep his expression only wry.

"It's only... it's quite a lot for any child to live up to," he says. "You understand that, don't you?"

"I... I suppose so... but- but you do live up to your namesake! You are steadfast, sturdy-"

"Damien-"

"Resolute! And if you can live up to your name, certainly if I work hard enough, study long enough-"

"You shouldn't have to, Damien. Neither should I. No child should. If we had another in our family, it would be kinder to leave them free of such a weight.

Damien frowns, a delicate web of incomprehension. "Are you... are you going to change yours, then?"

Aaron looks aside, sighs. "I haven't decided. It's... it is a heavy weight, but... it means so much to him."

And their father's good humor is the unsteady framework upon which their home is built.

"... what... what would you even change it to, if you did?"

"I could change it to Damien, simply to annoy you," Aaron says with his wide, easy grin.

"Aaron. I am being serious."

Aaron laughs. "I could simply change it to Ferdinand myself, and then you could take a turn as the elder brother."

Damien huffs. "That," he says stiffly, "is not how that works. And besides- if you were Ferdinand, that certainly would not solve your problem. Your very first point was that bravery would be an equally heavy burden."

"That is true," Aaron says with a sigh. "So. Not another Saint name, then."

"Obviously not," Damien agrees. "That would limit you quite severely." He pauses, his uncertainty so poorly concealed that Aaron can't help but smile again. "Did... clearly you have put some thought into this... did you have any potential names in mind? Any that were not in jest?"

"Any..." Aaron echoes. "I suppose that is just the issue," he says slowly. "If I were not Aaron, I could be anyone."

"But were there any anyones in particular," Damien insists. "Come now, I don't think you would have brought it up had you nothing already in mind!"

"Perhaps I had some trouble, summoning potential names to my own mind. Perhaps I was far more curious to hear your suggestions," he says, tilting his head with a grin. "You are much quicker with this sort of game than I, after all.

"Oh!" Damien clasps his hands together, grinning, and then he schools his expression, his brow furrowing as he considers this task for a long moment. "You could be... hm, perhaps Lucan? No- Rience! Or perhaps Owain, or Claudas, or Balan-"

"Evaine is rather elegant," Aaron murmurs, and his face is very still as he watches the equally still water.

Damien pauses. "Wh-what was that?"

Aaron says nothing for a long moment, and then he stands, his easy smile spread across his face again. "It's past time we returned you to your studies, I think."

"But-"

"I will thank you for indulging me, and beg your pardon for distracting you for quite so long," he says. "But we should... we should return to where we belong, Damien."

Damien stares up at him, still unsure for a strange, stretched-out moment, and then he reaches a hand out so Aaron may help pull him back to his feet.

They do not speak, on the walk back to their home. They do not speak of names ever again.

They do not see another cruel anniversary together.

If there had been a third child, he would have been named Ferdinand. Unlike his namesake, Damien who will be Pious has only one brother, and his name was only ever Aaron.

After Aaron dies, Damien's father mourns this newest cruelty by packing up what remains of their lives and taking young Damien to the realm where death looms the closest. He takes them to the Western Wastes, the woods of death themselves, and there Damien's father proselytizes. The names of the Saints on his tongue, surrounded by death and nonbelievers. Their names, again and again, and echoed in and echoing his family, in his son who never was, in his son who no longer is, in his son who is not enough.

When Damien is old enough to choose his own appellation, he thinks of Aaron.

He thought of Aaron in the water, as well. He thinks of Aaron often, though he is discovering to his sorrow that Aaron had been right, about memory, and transformation, and decay. He remembers that easy grin, still, and sturdy embrace, but he has forgotten the precise pattern of his freckles. He has forgotten the name that he whispered like a secret beside the water. He has forgotten moments small, and large, and they have left him so easily that he will not even recognize their lack.

Damien could choose another name, but once beneath the water his namesake reached within him, and helped him breathe.

Damien could choose another name, but once a boy named Aaron had a brother named Damien, and Damien does not wish to be anyone else.

[flynnspeaks]

Flynn Marathons Doctor Who, Part 15

(for anyone needing caught up–I’m doing a watch of Doctor Who from the very beginning of the show, bingewatching it by episode instead of by serial (which I find to be closer to the original spirit of the episodes, albeit still nothing like it at all), and then doing a writeup roughly every three serials or so)

Starting up Season 6:

The Dominators: Utter garbage. Misconcieved on just about every level, this is awful. The Dominators are silly, stupid villains, the Quarks are more cute than threatening (even their deaths are adorable--they’re the Troughton era’s answer to the Chumblies, except that the Chumblies were supposed to be friendly), and the story’s treatment of pacifism wrong-headed and insulting. I’ll admit, I’m biased against this one since going in I knew it was gonna be a turkey, but honestly as soon as they spent the first like five minutes of the episode setting up characters they immediately kill off I knew we were in for a rocky time--made even worse by the fact we haven’t had a story of this poor quality since at least The Celestial Toymaker--even Tomb for all its massive faults had a bunch of assorted good bits and pieces to hold it together in the end. This is just...wretched.

One interesting note--through the story is consistently wretched, it’s stunning how much the last two episodes pick up in quality (mostly because things actually happen for once). I remember reading that Sherwin and Terrance Dicks rewrote the last couple episodes once the story was truncated and it wouldn’t surprise me--as the old Sheldon Harnick quote goes “the problem with washing garbage is after you’re done it’s still garbage”, but Sherwin and Dicks make a valiant effort to produce at least well-paced and lively garbage.

There are scattered moments of pleasure to be had to keep it from being a complete waste of time--Zoe continues to work wonders as a companion, and I actually rather enjoy Jamie’s part of the story with Cully. And...fuck, I dunno, there’s a cute moment in Episode 1 with Balan testing one of his students? It’s all so little in such a bad story.

The Mind Robber: Ahhhhh and how great to go from that trainwreck to this wonderfully beautiful story. This is without a doubt my favorite Troughton, and you know what, my favorite Doctor Who story outright. This is phenomenal--playful and inventive, with loads of memorable bits and bobs.

I so adore the central premises here--the idea that events that are written after the fact are history, but if it’s written before the action it’s fiction; and then the notion that things only have power if you believe they do. It hadn’t donned on me until this rewatch, but this story had a phenomenal impact on my own personal worldviews, and it’s gratifying to see the strands that led me to my current place in life (also fun coincidence--this story features a cameo in D’Artagnan from The Three Musketeers, which I just a couple months ago provided the underscoring for a stage adaptation). I love the conceit of Gulliver, and the twist towards the end of the Doctor for once not being able to disbelieve in Karkus because he’s never heard of the character before (which leads into the delightful scene where Zoe kicks the Karkus’ ass).

This whole story is just delightful. If you ever get a chance, check it out--even if you’re not into Classic Who, or even Who in general, give this a shot. You won’t regret it.

The Invasion: Easily the best Cybermen story of the classic series (my own idiosyncratic love of “The Tenth Planet” notwithstanding). The decision to structure the story as essentially two linked four-parters, with the reveal of the Cybermen leading into the second half, is very clever, and keeps the story developing nicely over the course of its runtime (it also does a good job of making each individual episode feel distinct in of itself, which helps when you’re bingewatching these some fifty years later).

Delaying the Cybermen’s entrance also prevents the story from resting on its laurels and assuming scenes of Cybermen menacing people would be sufficient. Instead it spends time developing the world the Cybermen invade, particularly Tobias Vaugn, who’s an absolutely wonderful villain played perfectly by Stoney (his turn at the end is sublime, particularly as it’s motivated out of spite instead of compassion). All the side characters here are great, from the Brigadier and UNIT to Professor Watkins and his daughter (I love the minor subplot about her photography and Zoe modelling for her). The only bum note here is the awful awful bit of sexism in the backhalf of the episode, all the more for how it makes feminism the butt of a joke. Other than that, though, this is really a wonderful story.

The Krotons: Good, though mostly from the perspective of “this is the debut story of one of the best writers Doctor Who has ever had” than it is from the perspective of “the thing following The Mind Robber and The Invasion”. There’s a lot of good stuff here that doesn’t often get commented on, though--Holmes rather interestingly speeds through the plot in episode one, getting us through “the Gonds realize the Krotons have been manipulating them and decide to do something about it” about halfway through the episode, whereas most other writers would stall until episode three or something to get us to that point. That leaves the rest of the episode to essentially be an extended debate on how best to achieve revolution--between Eelak’s violent measures and Selris’s more tempered approach.

And though the show obviously ends up siding with Selris, it’s interesting that Eelak’s final tactic of selling out the Doctor and Zoe does end up accelerating the destruction of the Krotons, leaving him a more ambiguous character than would first appear. I think part of this is due to Madoc’s performance, which is as layered and nuanced as you would expect from him. Overall, this isn’t a stone-cold classic of the Troughton era, but is more interesting and worth looking at than people often give it credit.

(also: hello there, “Oh my giddy aunt”! Was waiting for you to show up! Didn’t know this line came so late into the era given how iconic it is. Funny how these things go)

[wiisaakodewinini]

Adult Circumcision, It Happens!

*This has (obviously) a lot of penis-heavy content and surgery procedure talk below, so if that’s not something you’re interested in/upset by, keep on movin’! 

Kay so, I’m by no means a doctor, but I saw a post that really made me wanna share my story cus not a lot of people with penises are super aware that circumcisions happens for a variety of reasons and that they can be necessary at any point in life (not just infancy) and that its important that you talk about problems you’re having down there, because it could cause you bigger problems later in life. Penis health is important and circumcision can be a touchy subject because a lot of people with a penis often have insecurities related to whatever problems they may have with theirs, out of fear of shame or humiliation. 

So when I was growing up as a little lad, I was taught about good genital hygiene and how I was supposed to pull back my foreskin to clean because well, things get stuck in under the head with the skin over, and all that jazz. However as I got a bit older, approaching adolescence, I noticed I physically could not pull it back, like the skin would just not widen enough to expose the glands properly, it would get stuck. Any attempt to do so would result in a tearing sensation that felt something like when you get a hangnail, sharp buzzy pain. So after being confused about it for honestly a couple years, my father ended up needing a circumcision in his 60′s, and his surgeon asked him to talk to me about if I had been having any problems. I was honest and said I hadn’t been able to pull it back in a while because it hurt too much/was too tight. This was apparently a big problem, and I was in the surgeon's office for a diagnosis later the following week. 

Turns out, after having him and a nurse do some simple tests on it, it turned out that I had phimosis, which is basically just the technical term for what the problem was, for some weird reason, my foreskin was unnaturally tight at the top, which would have caused me problems during puberty and later in life it could have been particularly complicating so I was recommended for surgery and about a month later after a series of blood tests (like 3 sets of 8~12 vials) I was booked for a week after my 13th birthday and that was it.

The actual surgery itself, I was put under and didn’t feel a thing. And I was able to go home the same day, on the condition I could pee by myself and not throw up food eaten post operation. I was given special mesh underwear and my penis was wrapped tightly with gauze over lots of stitches. 

Now everyone has a different experience but recovery wasn’t super easy at first for me, and this is my account of what it's like:

*warning graphic

On the first night, I got an involuntary erection which ripped 3 stitches. I bled a LOT and had to go back to emergency and that was NOT fun. 

A newly exposed penis is EXTREMELY sensitive. Sweatpants and loose-fitting shorts only. Car rides were a nightmare and I didn’t do much moving from the couch for about a week and a half. 

A LOT of swelling the first few days, peeing was honestly a delicate experience that was like controlling a pressure-washer...

Changing your gauze every two days is not pleasant. Your blood dries to the gauze and your various fluids and such cling to it also so peeling it away from your wounded penis is very sensitive and cringe-worthy, but absolutely necessary. 

Sleeping was tricky for the first few days. It was hard for me, a stomach sleeper having to sleep on my back and not being able to move too much with what essentially was a temperamental roll of toilet-paper (gauze) between my legs  that protested every toss and turn throughout the night

I don’t think the process could be done alone, you’re very reliant on everyone around you for a lot of things. From changing the bandages to getting food.

I wasn’t allowed to wear tight/proper-fitting underwear for a month. 

After the dust settled and I got used to my newly circumcised penis:

I was a lot more comfortable in general, I hadn’t realised how much discomfort I was living with Phimosis. 

I found masturbation (and later intercourse) was just as satisfying as before, if not maybe a bit more.

My penis grew in properly which was one of the concerns related to the condition. 

The sensitivity subsided and is not an issue

Much easier to clean 

Stays cleaner longer, regular showering is sufficient, special attention isn’t needed.

Life goes on without any thought of it. 

I supposedly have a lower risk of contracting a variety of STI’s which is a great plus

Reduces the likelihood of penile cancer

Decreased risk of UTI

Why might someone with a penis need a circumcision beyond infancy?

Usually its one of these culprits...

PHIMOSIS (This is what I had)

“phimosis is a condition where the inability to pull back the foreskin of the penis results in symptoms such as pain and urinary difficulties. Physiologic phimosis is a condition where the prepuce (foreskin) is tight and not fully retractable, but where there are no symptoms.

At birth, the foreskin is naturally tight, with some estimates suggesting that 96% of male infants have physiologic phimosis. Normally, the foreskin slowly loosens as the boy develops, but in the case of phimosis, the tightness remains or is slower to resolve. Typically, the problem resolves between the ages of 5 and 7, with just 2% of adult males thought to have non-retractability of the prepuce, despite being otherwise normal.

If the problem persists and there is inflammation or ballooning during urination, intervention may be sought. In rare cases, circumcision is used to permanently remedy the situation.

PARAPHIMOSIS

“Paraphimosis is effectively the opposite to phimosis: the foreskin is stuck behind the head of the penis and restricts the blood flow to the end of the penis.

This condition is considered to be a medical emergency. Paraphimosis is often iatrogenic; in other words, it is a reaction to a medical procedure, such as a urethral catheter or penile examination.

If left untreated, paraphimosis can lead to gangrene and autoamputation. Once the initial issue is resolved, a circumcision is often prescribed to prevent future occurrences”

BALANITIS

“Balanitis is a condition where the head of the penis swells up and the foreskin can no longer be brought to its natural position.

This condition can be caused by an infection, dermatitis, psoriasis, eczema or lichen planus (a skin disease). Having unprotected sex with a partner who has vaginal thrush can also increase the chances of balanitis, as can suffering from diabetes.

Depending on the initial cause of the issue, balanitis can be treated by steroid or antifungal creams, a course of antibiotics, or, as a last option - circumcision”

[Source Article]

Hopefully, you all feel a little more enlightened on penis health! I encourage you to examine yours or talk to your children/siblings about it and encourage a dialogue about any problems or discomfort they have been having. Doctors are super understanding about it and there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Its better to get it out of the way now before it becomes a serious problem down the road! Just as a disclaimer, I can only speak from my experience and what I learned from my healthcare practitioners, you, or someone else may have a different experience with the whole process if you find you might be at risk for the above conditions!

Take care ~