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foreveratlas · 4 years

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Eulogy For My Grandfather

On June 13th, my grandfather passed away. It has been an emotional nightmare to process. Two days after he passed, it was requested that I write eulogy. These are my thoughts and words for the man who raised and supported me better than I could probably understand. Be aware this is written for my family in attendance at his funeral.

Many people knew him as Charles. His closest friends called him Dean. Dad to his daughters; Uncle Dean to his nieces. But I was given the honor of bestowing his most important name of all time, and that was Poppy. But it wasn't just an endearing nickname replacement for "grandpa." It stood more as a title or a badge of honor. He was Poppy. And to all my friends, he introduced himself as Poppy. Though he may not have been blood to them, I really do think that when he encouraged people to call him Poppy, he was infact adopting them to be his surrogate grandchildren. I'm only slightly jealous because he was my Poppy, no one else's. Whenever I brought a new friend home, he would introduce himself as Poppy. If he came to school to visit, he was Poppy, not Nick's Grandpa. The name Poppy was as much a part of his personality as was his enjoyment of wine or gin and tonics.

The name Poppy has a backstory. A long time ago, when we lived in Texas, he had a favorite restaurant he enjoyed taking me to, Papa Tio's. It was just like any other Tex-Mex grill, complete with a mariachi band. We'd go and dance and laugh and carry on. And at first, he was Papa Tio, but eventually that just shortened to Poppy, which he wore proudly. If you asked him how he came to be called Poppy, he would recall the story of how the name became his, and even recite the song that he got the mariachi band to play, which started "A rappe papa Tio." He twirled his R's and would dance in his seat to the memory. He found such joy in those little memories even with the end approaching as it did.

That was his best trait, his ability to recall these elaborate, excruciatingly detailed accounts of his life, reaching all the way back to his youth. Everyone in the family has heard at least one story: Whether it was the infamous bicycle rally where his mother wouldn't buy him an actual bicycle, so he removed the wheel off the one side of his trike and came riding around the neighborhood with the other kids, just so all the neighbors would laugh and carry on. His father made sure he got a real bicycle. Or of the time he had earned an ice cream, but when his father had stopped to get the sweet treat, he didn't realize the back passenger door was still open, and drove right into a light pole, ripping the door right off its hinges. Or one of my favorites from when he was a bit older, how one Christmas his mother-in-law complained so much about the Christmas tree's needles falling that he picked up the whole tree and threw it right out the front window. His stories live on in us, especially if we were paying attention. And he had a lot of stories. He didn't like how I used a bit of creative license to compact some of thosr stories together when I started writing the fictional adaptation of his life, but the stories are all still here. And going forward, I'd like to invite people let me know their favorite story of his so I can chronicle it and finish the book he wanted to see written.

We all know of how he rose through JCPenney and eventually retired among the upper echelons of the company. I always aspired to find a job like that, a job that didn't feel like work. He always said, "If you love what you do, you won't work a day in your life." Finding that today is difficult, but he did something I don't believe many people really consider. He worked from the ground floor up, literally started by sweeping the stock room, and eventually retired as Vice President. That's nothing to scoff at, and it proves his tenacity and work ethic. That's one job he held for almost 50 years. I'm thirty one, and my position now is my longest held job at three years. So I can't really wrap my mind around doing one thing for so long. But he didn't really do just one thing. He was all over the country, opening stores and providing for his family the best way he knew how. It wasn't always perfect, but it was what he felt was best.

Poppy loved his family more than anything, and some of his fondest memories came from his daughters. He used to tell me of how during New Years, he, my mother, and my aunt would go around the house banging pots and pans to welcome in the New Year, and then they would go into a dark room, and Poppy and Aunt Dena would go hide, leaving my mother alone, before they would jump out and scare her. He found so much joy in those moments, and did everything he could to bring as much joy as possible to every moment. He always made sure we were taken care of and supported, even when we screwed up in life and had to ask for help. Having that safety net was so important and I never realized how much I was taking advantage of those kindnesses.

I was five years old when Poppy married Andrea, and the inclusion of the DiBrienza family into the Saddler family was nothing short of exciting, fun, and very, very loud. I walked right up to Andrea, put my hand on her belly and asked, "Is there a baby in there?" Which, understandably, freaked her right out. But, Poppy's love and adoration that he received from his connection to the DiBrienza's was so profound and so important. He wasted no time indoctrinating his new nieces into the fun. He used to make up stories that the Middle Branch Reservoir was the site of an old mining community called Middle Branch. He told the stories to my cousins that they had to flood the old town, and late at night you could still hear the old church bell ring. He'd then give a loud, "Bong!" And my cousins, who were wiser than their years at such young ages would unanimously proclaim, "Oh Uncle Dean!"

When I got the call late Saturday night, I honestly couldn't process what was happening. I had just spoken to him the day prior. I tried to call every day. He would always answer, "Hello my dear lad, what's new?" To which I would immediately respond, "Not a whole lot, just thought I would call and say hello." I had no idea that that conversation, which felt so innocent, and so normal would be the last time. And maybe that's how he wanted it to be, not something full of despair, not something full of long winded goodbyes. No lengthy moments of "Is this it? Is this the moment?" It was just normal. He asked me if I needed anything, like he always did, and then told me to have a tasty dinner and a good weekend. And that stuck with me, especially after the news arrived late Saturday. I have felt a myriad of emotions based on that last conversation but at that moment, my focus was on how could I have a good weekend? The biggest part of my life had departed. In therapy, I have been told that it's ok to be upset at that, to feel like all my weekends won't be good. It's ok for me to grieve that way. But I know someday, the weekends won't hurt anymore, and I'll be able to wake up Saturday morning, and Poppy's words, "Have a good weekend," will give me peace. Just right now, I don't think I'll be fond of Saturdays for a while.

I have to believe that this was a part of his plan, in a way. As most of you know, he was bed ridden, unable to see, losing his hearing rapidly. He was very adamant in his faith, and I believe that that faith is what guided him in the end. The Bible says that heaven is a paradise, where the crippled may walk and the blind may see. I can only hope that he is able to walk again, able to see again, able to be every bit the amazing potential he remembered himself to be from his youth. And I hope his loud scream-sneezes are scaring the crap out of everyone with him. But most importantly, I have to trust that this was the right time, and that his faith and adoration of his family will guide us, make us stronger, and help us live and love better. He wouldn't have left us knowing we couldn't stand tall and keep moving forward.

There are so many things I wish I had said to him and so many moments I realize now that I have taken for granted. I always believed I had more time, when really, he was trying prepare me for the inevitable. It was easier to believe that he would always be here as a central piece of everything. If immortality was possible, it was my belief that my Poppy could accomplish it. Every time he said that he wouldn't be here forever was a moment I'd respond with, "You'll outlive us all." He would remind me every day that I was the last of the Saddler line, and I honestly didn't want to give that thought any weight because he was still here. Still very much the powerhouse that his name commanded. And now that I am here to carry his legacy forward, I feel like I am hardly worthy of the weight that has been gently handed to me. I'm not ready to live each day without him, and it will be a long time before I wake up and say that I am ok. This past week has been difficult. Every day going forward will be the equivalent of wading through slowly drying cement. But, I imagine, if he didn't think we would be ok without him then he would have held on a little longer. So maybe, I need to trust that belief in us that we will be ok.

Grief is the living honoring the departed. It hurts, it hurts more than words can adequately describe. But it's proof that that person is one who held so much love and adoration. And Poppy was loved dearly by all. His light will fill us every hour and encourage us to be better than ourselves, to enjoy the moments, take stock of the memories, and live every day with love. He loved us, and he still loves us. Our family is strong, and despite the fact that he is not physically here, so long as we remain connected, his love stays with us. It will be like he never left. I am looking forward to all the memories and all the love his light will bring.

We will get through this together as a family.

One day at a time.

One step at a time.

And he will be with us, in our hearts, on our minds; never lost, and never forgotten.

#prose #eulogy #death #grandfather #love #family #writers on Tumblr #spilled ink

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raindrop-on-a-spiderweb · 5 years

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There's Just Something About The Neighbors

Requested AU--if Leonardo's father had been alive during the story.

***

Flora Haywood liked her new neighbors.

The last ones had been a pain, acting as though the fact that they had moved into a middle-class neighborhood gave them special privileges. They stayed up and partied til the dawn, laughing and hollering until she couldn't sleep any longer. When they moved out, it was a enormous relief. They hoped the newer neighbors were quieter.

They were.

It was a married couple and the husband's father. They moved in quietly one day, not a peep. She stopped by to take some cookies to her new neighbors and the wife thanked her wanly but never invited her inside. She was a pale little thing with long, straight brown hair. She kept tugging her sleeves over the bruises on her wrists ("got them while moving boxes").

Flora never saw them outside much. Occasionally the father or husband she would see walking to work, or the wife would be doing yardwork, but other than that, they kept themselves away from the other neighbors. The husband was a handsome blond man who always tipped his hat to her when he saw her on the street. Flora wasn't sure what his job was--she thought he was employed by his father in his business, although she never did find out what business it was. The son had mentioned it was something to do with clothing, possible a factory or high-quality tailor store.

The only time she had seen the husband's father was when he turned up on her doorstep to inform her that her lawn was becoming too overgrown, and told her to mow it. Didn't ask. Told. That one meeting was enough for her, and she would be glad if she never had to see him again.

She was surprised to see that apparently the couple had children, as she had never seen them outside. At the grocery store she had run into the wife, sporting a fresh bruise on her cheek and a split lip, and more concerningly, a baby bump and a two-year-old. The child had a chubby round face and thick black hair--recessive genes?

When Flora greeted the wife, she looked panicked and refused to answer any questions about her child. She left the store soon after. From then on, whenever the wife saw Flora outside her home, she ducked inside.

Flora's musings about the neighbors were pushed to the back of her mind when her daughter Caroline came back from college, reeking of pot and dressed like a beatnik. She was taking a semester off to work and raise money for a trip to California. She took odd jobs babysitting around the neighborhood, even for the Borgheses, which did not last long.

"That family is fucking creepy," Caroline told her mother. "Mr. Borghese's father is always staring at me. I'm pretty sure he wants to fuck me. And I think someone is beating those kids. They always have bloody noses and the husband won't let me give them baths; I think they're bruised. Someone should call the cops on them."

Flora was tempted. A couple times, when the sounds of an argument or children crying wafted over to her side of the street, she nearly did. But then she thought of the dark cars that occasionally would be parked in their driveway at night. Of the shady men who were always in and out of their house. And their Italian last name. And she thought better of it.

***

One day when Flora went out to get the mail the wife was sitting on the doorstep crying. One of her younger children, a little blonde girl who looked all of three, was trying to comfort her, but kept looking lost and crying as well. Flora went across the street. "Are you all right, Mrs. Borghese? What's the matter?"

Mrs. Borghese looked thinner than she ever had. Her eyes were holes in her face as she looked up at Flora. "My baby's dead."

"What?" Flora was shocked. "What happened?"

"He... I just... I went in and...his body..." she was talking wildly, seeming desperate to tell her but unwilling to admit to something.

The husband came outside and ushered her in, then picked up his daughter. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Haywood," he said coolly. "My wife has been dealing with a lot over the past few days. We've just had a family tragedy."

"I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can--"

"No, no. But thank you. We just need to deal with this as it comes." He entered the house again and closed the door after him. Flora craned her neck to try and see through the window in the door, but like most things in the Borghese family's life, it was covered tightly by a curtain.

***

Caroline was due for her trip to California, and was waiting outside for her friends to pick her up. Every time she looked over at the Borghese's house across the street she got a little more agitated. "I never saw no funeral for that kid."

"They probably held one privately. They're a private family."

"Too private. They're hiding something. It's fishy that half of those kids got black hair. Either she's screwing around on him or she's getting some on the side from dad-in-law."

Flora was horrified. "Caroline!"

"I'm not saying it was of her own will. That woman looks like a beaten dog half the time. The way the father in law treated her was weird, too. Always shouting at her and giving her orders. And her husband would just stand by and look on. Something fucked up is going on in that household! PROMISE me you'll call the police after we leave? Those poor kids don't deserve to live like that."

"I will," promised Flora, having no intention of doing so.

As she watched her daughter leave, speeding off in a dented Buick with her hippie friends, she looked across the street at the Borghese's house again. The father-in-law was on the porch, watching her. She wasn't close enough to discern his features, but his posture suggested something ominous, and she went inside quickly. The Borgheses were not neighbors you wanted angry.

***

Pippy, her Staffordshire terrier, had taken off across the street in pursuit of a squirrel. Flora was tromping around in her neighbor's backyards, yelling his name. She heard distant crying and snatches of conversation, and followed it out of curosity. After brushing aside a bush, she came to a tall wooden fence--the Borghese's garden, heavily fortified just like everything else about their house. She peered through a slat.

She had never seen their garden before--it was clean and well-kept, just like every other middle class garden. Neatly trimmed lawn, and a white porch swing hanging between two trees. From her vantage point, she was behind the porch swing, looking at the backs of Mr. and Mrs. Borghese as they say side by side on the swing.

The faint sobs that drifted through the air were punctuated with his gentle, soothing remarks.

"Calm down, dolcezza. I'll kiss you, there. I'll make it all better..."

"Get off me. It needs to stop. You need to do something. You've done nothing in this marriage! You've been no help! You men, all you want is a warm hole to stick it in."

"That not true. I love you."

"If you really loved me you'd do something about this! He'll want to do it with me when you're in the room! And when the children are in the room! How can you let this happen? You call yourself a husband and a father?"

"Patience, we're talking about my father. My father. You are asking the impossible of me. It would be easier to flee to the moon than to go against my father."

"I'll kill myself! I'll kill myself and take every last one of our children with me! I can't live like this!"

"Patience--"

"I will never forgive you for what you did to my parents," she said, and her voice suddenly became icy. "But if you want the slightest, smallest glimmer of my gratitude--if you want me to give you the smallest modicum of respect as my husband and father of my children--the ones which are yours, anyway--"

Flora could not believe her ears. Her knees were hurting from crouching, and her lungs were screaming for air from holding her breath. The details--the unfurling tapestry of horror in front of her very eyes--were so unbelieveable she wondered if she were dreaming. Her daughter had been right. Caroline had been right all along. There was something very wrong with the Borgheses.

"There is nothing I can do. Patience, there is nothing. You're not the only victim here, Patience. How do you think it feels to me, having to watch this happen to you and the children? Do you know the last time I stood up to him? I was eight. Do you know what he did to me? He stomped my head into the floor until blood squirted from my nose. There is nothing I can do." He paused, and his voice became quieter. "Unless..."

The silence that followed was as tense as a bowstring, and Mrs. Borghese finally said, "No. What you're suggesting--it could go wrong. It WILL. He'll know. He'll know--"

The plank Flora had been leaning on shifted, the fence post moaning. The two whipped around, their conversation ceasing, and the minute before Flora turned away, she saw a huge, purpling bruise on the side of her face. Flora acted quickly, hurrying away into the treeline. When she was out of sight she let out a shaky sigh, leaning against a tree. Her legs were shaking, her heart pumping. She suddenly felt a sickening sense of danger. She was not supposed to hear that.

***

Pippy came back home the next week, muddy and tail wagging, and resumed chasing Mickey, her gray tabby. Flora breathed a sigh of relief. She had barely ventured out of her house since that day, save for groceries, and refused to even look in the direction of the Borghese house. She agonized over whether to call the police. The only thing that stopped her was the fear that Silvio Borghese would find out--and what he would do to her, and, god forbid, Caroline if he did. The sickening knowledge of what was going on in that house made her want to retch. Every time she caught a glance of the children in the yard she wanted to rush over and rescue them.

That day, the only member of the Borghese house outside was one of the daughters, a young girl with coke-bottle glasses and her thick black hair in pigtails. She was riding her trike down the sidewalk, glancing back at her house every few pedals. She never went past the perimeter of the house, and when she reached the end, turned and pedaled back to the other end. She was so preoccupied with not going past the invisible line that when she craned her neck back to look at the house she lost control and crashed to the ground.

Maternal instincts activating, Flora rushed out and over to the child, picking her up and cradling her. "Oh, my god! You poor thing, are you hurt? Come on, let me look at you."

***

The girl was nervous at being in Flora's home, she could tell. She sat ramrod-straight, her knees pulled together as Flora rummaged around in her bathroom cabinet looking for cotton and rubbing alcohol.

As soon as Flora applied it, the girl's face went ashen. Tears streamed down her face and her jaw wobbled, but she didn't utter a peel.

It was very odd to Flora, who knew children cried at the smallest things. And this was a deep wound, too--she had skinned her knee. "You can cry, honey. It's okay."

The girl's words escaped in a shaky whisper. "Nonno hates it when we cry."

She said nothing else, and when Flora sent her home with a bandaged knee, the girl went up to the front door, dawdled a bit, looked back, and then finally, reluctantly, pulled the door open and was immediately yanked inside.

***

It had been a few years since the Borghese family moved in across the street. Their children were mostly old enough to go to school, and every day they slogged their way down the sidewalk to Catholic School in their little uniforms, the older ones holding the hands of the younger ones. She never saw them with friends from school or the neighborhood. The Borghese children kept to themselves. They were polite to Flora when they saw her, and spoke mostly in Italian amongst themselves. The only trouble she'd ever had with them was with the oldest son, a hulking child with blue eyes and two front teeth missing. She had found him torturing Pippy while he was tied up in her front yard. He had been beyond the fence, holding a sharp stick and trying to poke his eyes out. Flora had yelled at him, and he had smiled blankly at her with his gap-toothed grin, then turned and trudged back to his house.

Mrs. Borghese was pregnant again. She was always pregnant. Flora had no idea what the household must have been like with so many children crammed in a medium-sized home, but she rarely heard any racket from the children. There was always an eerie silence from the other side of the street.

Only the sounds of an occasional argument between adults, which were few--at least until now--would sometimes pierce the silence. And it was becoming more common. She could discern the shrill, high voice of the wife, and then the booming, thunderous voice of the father-in-law. Sometimes she even heard one of the children, either crying or adding their voices to the fray.

One evening when she was pruning her water lilies the wife came to her yard, wringing her hands and asking if she could borrow some peroxide and bandages. Her whole manner was nervy, and she kept stuttering. She wore a yellow gingham dress, but the apron was smudged with dirty fingerprints and the skirt had been ripped and badly mended.

Flora took her inside immediately. As she bent down to rifle through her products under the sink, Mrs. Borghese closed the curtains over the kitchen. As soon as the door had snapped shut, her manner had become more panicked. Mrs. Borghese turned to Flora.

"Can you do something for me? Please?"

The woman looked so young. Battered and tired, but young.

"Of course, honey."

"Can you drive me to a hotel? Just, any hotel. I need to--I just--please?"

"Alone? What about your husband? Will you be taking your children?"

She looked stressed. "No. Not them. None of them. I need to be alone. I need to get out of--"

Her rantings were cut short by a soft knock on the door. "Pazienza? What are you doing here? Please come home."

"No!" She cried. She was shaking. "I will not. Leonardo, go away. Leave me be. I won't go back to that house--and that man. You can't make me!"

"Che ne sarà dai bambini?" his voice had softened into barely legible Italian. "Li lascerete in pace?"

Mrs. Borghese fell silent. Her face held a rapidly crumbling resolve. Flora met her gaze and shook her head firmly. Mrs. Borghese's eyes hardened. "This thing has to end. Leonardo, for the good of our children, too. Call--call the police, call Sawyer, hell, you can call the federal fucking authorities if you want to go that route! But I'm not coming back, Leonardo! Not if you drag me kicking and screaming! None of you care about me, how I feel, if I'm tired, and the children, god, the children..."

"Pazienza," he said quietly. "Allora faremo."

She was quiet again. Her face was turned away from Flora, but her shoulders were stiff. On the nape of her neck, half-covered by her hair, Flora saw a thick white scar indented with looked like teeth prints. "Che succederà se falliamo?" She whispered.

"Non lo faremo. Lo faremo insieme. Lo faremo stasera. Stasera. Vieni fuori, dolcezza."

Whatever he said made her reach her breaking point, and she slowly reached out to unlatch the door. Mr. Borghese was standing outside, hair slicked from rain and his suit damp. His face was gentle, but froze minutely when he saw Flora. He probably had hoped she hadn't been listening in. He offered Flora a vague apology and led his wife back across the street, arm wrapped tightly around her shoulders. The streetlamp light glinted coldly off his golden curls.

Flora lay awake in bed, waiting for the argument to begin, the shouting between father-in-law and daughter-in-law. But she heard nothing. It was a quiet night in the sleepy suburb of Dearborne Heights.

***

Flora was awoken by the scream of an ambulance. Fearing the worst, she threw off her covers and ran out onto the doorstep.

There were police cars and an ambulance outside the Borghese house. Other neighbors were milling around--police cars were a rare sight in Dearborne Heights.

A policeman went over to push back against the nosy neighbors. "What happened?" Said Flora. "Was someone hurt? Did something happen to the children?"

"Reported suicide. Keep back, keep back."

Her worry broke when she saw the Borghese family huddled near the house, talking to another officer. Mr. Borghese looked calm as he gave his statement, but Mrs. Borghese looked shaken, clutching her many children close to her. Most of the children were crying, some of them looked to be in shock. But some of them had a carefully schooled look on their face similiar to their father's.

Eventually the family separated and got into police cars, and the crowd dispersed, as did the police cars themselves. Flora went back inside, her mind whirring. The whole situation seemed like a dream. The death, the couple, the conversation she had overheard--nothing added up.

Actually, she thought, everything DID add up. Just to a different answer.

***

The next morning Flora heard a knock at her door. She debated whether to answer it, hand hovering near the doorknob, until another, more irate knock sounded at the door.

Flora opened it hesitantly, and a man wearing a broad fedora barged in. He was dressed in a black suit; dark-haired, with wire-rimmed glasses that glinted coldly as he eyed her. "Flora Haywood?"

Flora nodded.

"Mind if I sit down?" He punctuated his words by pulling out a chair from her kitchen table and sitting down anyway. "I'm sure you've heard about the... unfortunate incident at 34 Knight Street, just across from you."

"...Yes... it was Mr. Borghese, Senior, am I correct?"

"I'm afraid so. Silvio Borghese. Single gunshot to the temple, self-inflicted. Horrible, horrible. I understand you knew the Borgheses personally."

"They're my neighbors, but I don't know them well."

His voice was as cold as his eyes. "So if, for example, someone from the police stopped by, and asked you some questions, what would you tell them?"

"Wh-what kind of questions?"

"Oh, you know, the usual. Whether you heard anything that night. Whether there had been any... discord in the Borghese household as of late. Simple things, routine things the police tend to ask."

She felt a chill come down her back. "Who are you?"

"A friend of Mr. Borghese, junior. Leonardo." He smiled and got up, perusing her keepsakes neatly lined up on the mantlespiece. To her horror, he picked up a photo of Caroline. "Your granddaughter?"

She swallowed a lump. "Daughter."

"Lovely woman. She looks about the age of my wife. Truly in the prime of her life. A young woman with her whole life ahead of her."

Flora would have done anything he had asked of her in that moment. "I don't know anything about the Borghese family. I heard nothing last night. I don't know a thing. The family keeps to themselves."

His eyes flicked up to meet hers. "And that's what you'll tell the police?"

"Yes, yes, that's what I'll tell the police! I don't know anything! Please, I have laundry to do. I can't sit around and talk all day!"

He smiled as he left, a smug secret smile that told her he had accomplished exactly he had come to accomplish. She locked the door, latched the windows, and immediately called Caroline. She sounded woozy on the other end and the sounds of partying were in the background, but she was safe. Flora cautioned her to be careful, and Caroline agreed in that sure-mom-I-promise tone that teenagers took when they had no intention of listening to their parents. After wrangling more promises out of her to call every day, Flora hung up and spent the rest of the day peering out the window, watching every car parked on the sidewalk and every passerby.

***

The police never came, thank god, and Flora assumed the whole situation was over and done for when the large Borghese family, sans the grandfather, moved back into their tan suburban house across from her.

It was as if a shadow had lifted from Knight Street. Within a week the high fence around their property had been knocked down. Flora saw Mr. Borghese building a treehouse with his sons in the large oak tree in their backyard. The Borghese children were out and about more, and they seemed to be making friends, for the first time, around the neighborhood. Mrs. Borghese saw Flora outside in the garden and smiled and waved, something she had never done before. She looked vibrant, healthy, with no bruises. She gave birth several months later to a baby girl, who she dropped off at Flora's sometimes to be babysat. Leonardo even held a block party, with his smiling, beautiful wife and their newborn the centerpiece.

In the blink of an eye it seemed that years had passed since then and the eldest son was going to high school. But Flora never lost that sense of unease. The neighbors were outwardly affluent, popular people...

But sometimes Mrs. Borghese would get a look on her face, and Flora knew what lurked under the surface was never far from bubbling over, and that the secrets Flora had touched on were too deep and numerous for her to understand.

Not that she had any desire to.

#bonus chapter

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kurtwarren54 · 5 years

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Otis First Birthday Gift Ideas

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Can you even believe that Otis is almost 1?!?!?!?! My mind is blown just thinking about how this could even be possible. My little baby boy is going to be a toddler soon and I am having all the feelings. I am in full force planning his Mickey Birthday party and put together a gift list for our friends and family that were asking what he needed. The truth is, he didn’t NEED anything but it is so sweet to have every spoil him for his birthday. He was lucky to get some of his gifts early so we can set everything up for his party and have some more outdoor toys for all the kids to play with. All of these gifts can be found on Walmart.com. I am so excited to be partnering with Walmart today to share my gift wish list for Otis today. They seriously have every baby brand so it’s always a go-to for us when we need to pick something up for Otis. I also use their in-store pickup for formula because grocery pickup is life changing. And just to note, they are celebrating Breastfeeding mama’s this month with some great deals you can find here. Scroll down for my list of gift ideas for Otis!

FIRST BIRTHDAY GIFT IDEAS

Step2 Up & Down Roller Coaster: This is a splurge for a toy but it’s one of Otis’ current favorite things. Our family sent this gift and I push Otis on the car and his face just lights up. Will be so fun when he can actually ride by himself! Love that you can use this indoor or outdoors. We have ours in our backyard.

Tegu 24 Piece Set: Otis loves to play with blocks now so love the idea of this magnetic set.

Step2 Whisper Ride Cruiser: This is Otis’ fav toy of the moment. We used to take him in the stroller around the neighborhood but now he gets to cruise in his car! I’m not gonna lie, it’s so fun for me to push him in this. Love getting out of the house and getting fresh air with Otis so this car has come in handy to make our walks extra fun.

Baby Einstein Discovering Music Activity Table: Otis’ cousins actually have this activity table so we tested it out back in July when we visited our family. Otis was obsessed so we added it to his birthday list. It has music and lights up so there is lots to occupy him and he can stand and play at it. It’s at a perfect height.

Vtech Smart Shots Sports Center: I mean… baby sports stuff!!! So so cute. Love that this one he can use as basketball and soccer in one. We keep this in our bedroom so we have some toys in each room. It lights up and has some music also.

Dimpl: This is great for your diaper bag. We were recently out to dinner with friends who have a toddler a little older than Otis and they let us borrow this. Occupied him well so we added it to our list!

Instep Take 2 Bicycle Baby Bike Trailer: A bigger ticket item but something fun to think about for birthday lists. Not so much a toy but we love biking so it’s going to be great to bring Otis along now that he is old enough.

Thule Ridealong Lite: We just got this seat for Otis and went on his first bike ride yesterday!! What I love about a bike seat that is mounted on the back is it’s a little more stable when your biking in terms of balance and he can use it for longer than the front mounted ones. OTIS LOVED IT. He was giggling on our bike ride and it melted my heart. Blake also said it was pretty easy to install.

Melissa & Doug Pull Back Vehicles: More toys!! Love these cars.

Little Tikes First Slide: We got this slide to add to our outdoor toys.

Little Tikes Cook ‘n Grow BBQ Grill: Love the idea of more toys for outside. This one would be perfect for our patio and Otis can grill it up with Dad

Mega Bloks First Builders: Now that Otis is really starting to play with stacking things, these blocks will be perfect for him.

Magformers: I feel like everyone has these because they are endless entertainment. Love that they are magnets and I feel like he will like these for years to come.

Little People World of Animals See ‘N Say: Basically any toy that has music is a good one. This one has cute animal sounds.

Radio Flyer 4-in-1 Stroll N’ Trike: Another splurge item that I have heard the best things about. This push trike can transition to a bike which I love.

Splash pad: Splash pad is such an easy way to have water fun in the backyard. It sets up in 5 seconds and it is a blast.

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elizabethcariasa · 5 years

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Otis First Birthday Gift Ideas

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FIRST BIRTHDAY GIFT IDEAS

Tegu 24 Piece Set: Otis loves to play with blocks now so love the idea of this magnetic set.

Melissa & Doug Pull Back Vehicles: More toys!! Love these cars.

Little Tikes First Slide: We got this slide to add to our outdoor toys.

Little Tikes Cook ‘n Grow BBQ Grill: Love the idea of more toys for outside. This one would be perfect for our patio and Otis can grill it up with Dad

Mega Bloks First Builders: Now that Otis is really starting to play with stacking things, these blocks will be perfect for him.

Magformers: I feel like everyone has these because they are endless entertainment. Love that they are magnets and I feel like he will like these for years to come.

Little People World of Animals See ‘N Say: Basically any toy that has music is a good one. This one has cute animal sounds.

Radio Flyer 4-in-1 Stroll N’ Trike: Another splurge item that I have heard the best things about. This push trike can transition to a bike which I love.

Splash pad: Splash pad is such an easy way to have water fun in the backyard. It sets up in 5 seconds and it is a blast.

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The post Otis First Birthday Gift Ideas appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Lapides.

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azkabuitenzorg-blog · 7 years

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ablack-reblogs · 8 years

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Sherlock SSN 4 ‘Live’ Blog

Sherlock

Season 4: The Six Thatchers

‘Live’ Blog

Fair Warning, below the line are spoilers. If you’ve not watched the episode yet (which you probably have) then do not read below the line. Else wise - this is my ‘live’ blog of T6T (aka, my comments and thoughts as I am watching).

Fair Warning 2, there’s a lot surrounding John that I don’t like and I get kind of angry about it. Like, a lot angry.

Continue if you dare ;)

Shout out to @heroofthreefaces for telling me where to find the episode! Sometimes I don’t have the mental energy to sort through the safe options, so I appreciate such a kind and helpful fandom. Thanks lovely.

Ugh, I have missed Sherlock so fucking much, guys! I feel like I’m riding a trike without two wheels because Sherlock has been gone – Doctor Who has been gone – and the wheel remaining (SPN) has been a bit lacking (imho). So this is like getting a new used trike that’s working with a wobbly wheel. YUS>>>

BROTHERS

MY GODS IT IS LOVELY

Sherlock is such a piece of work. It is crazy how bleh

THEY HAVE TUMBLR USERS WORKING FOR THEM! WE CAN TWIST ANYTHING TO MAKE SHERLOCK INNOCENT!

Targets wait.

“I’ll know when it begins.”

“I always know when the game is on.”

“Because I love it.”

Oh Sherl.

While the openingcredits roll – I’m going to say that I hate Moffat so much.

I’ve seen a lot of OOC content – and I don’t know if it’s fan manips or if it’s 100% honest representatives of the content. So I’m curious what taste this episode will leave in my mouth.

Sherlock narrating with Sharks swimming in the background – that is my new aesthetic for sure.

Are there any Sherlock!Shark fics?

Mary seems more interested than even Sherlock.

I love that Sherlock is tweeting. It’s adorable.

I also love John’s silver hair. It’s distinguished, as we’ve always read, but Martin wears it so well. Yays.

59 Missed Calls.

BABY!

BABY IS COMING!

JOHN IS NOT AN OB DOCTOR.

GODFATHER

Did they agree to do this? Did they agree that Sherlock is a fitting Godfather?

Sherlock is my husband in that scenario, honestly.

But I feel like they should have known as much.

SHERLOCK AS A GODFATHER IS SO FUCKING ADORABLE!

SHERLOCK!DAD IS A THING I NEED DID YOU KNOW?! YOU SHOULD KNOW!

DAD!LOCK

Sleepy Watsons.

I love that Sherlock already checked with Mary.

Is John going to flirt with the Rowena-wannabe?

BITCH IS GONNA GIVE HIS NUMBER TO HER

PLEASE NO HALP

SHE GOTTA BE BAD BAD BAD TO THE BONE

Oh it must have been the flower that she was staring at, right?

Not because she’s admiring our distinguished Watson Doctor.

Charlie’s son is in danger I think.

He’s in danger for sure.

Lestrade says weird and danger.

SPLOSION

Sherlock laughing; “I thought it would tickle you.”

Oh, I have missed this so very much. I can’t cope with this being the end. I truly cannot.

“Is it is my birthday.”

“Take all the credit.”

“Definitely a sore spot.”

Lestrade genuinely believes Sherlock doesn’t know his name.

BUT HE DOES – he just doesn’t want anyone to know he knows stuff about them.

Can we say it is canon that Mary breastfeeds?

It looks like maybe she does but I can’t be certain. It would mean a lot if we just had a line or a passing snapshot about it.

Is Sherlock having a vision? Is he hallucinating? What’s happening here? Are the objects speaking to him? What – is –happening?

SHERLOCK USING HIS INTUITION?!

I am calling OOC on this one.

Lestrade is such a fucking attractive person.

Smiling offends Sherlock, apparently.

His son meant to surprise his father and as a parent I want to cries lots.

SO CRIES.

IT CANNOT BE THAT EASY AND OH NOOOOOOO PLEASE HELP ME

It’s going to feel awful no matter what.

Husband & Mrs. Husband.

He actually almost tried there. It was sort of sweet of him. He used a soft voice.

VERY FULLY FUNCTIONING

He’s even worse than Sherlock, oh my god.

The water thing is weird.

CALL HIM ON IT MARK – I MEAN MYCROFT.

Sherlock’s love of pirates is adorable.

Can it be a headcanon that Sherlock spends his free time watching Pirates of the Caribbean? I kind of want that to be a thing.

Lestrade. Do the flirts.

DO THE FLIRTS LESTRADE.

And since when does Sherlock consult with not Lestrade?

WHEN DID THAT BECOME A THING?

THE BALLOON JOHN

HAHAHAHA – That guy is mentally unstable, it feels.

The hell is Sherlock doing – what is he telling to this man for why?

He’s gone bonkers, hasn’t he?

Oh he was doing a funny.

Sherlock doing a funny is funny. In a strange way.

LESTRADE KNOWS SHERLOCK SO WELL AND I JUST FEELL IKE HE DOESN’T GET ENOUGH CREDIT!

“have a good time”

kid I know – hacker – brilliant

Sherlock would know a hacker.

He looks like Sherlock’s old dog, my goodness.

“Don’t wait up.”

ROSIE IS CUTE AS A BUTTON SAVE FOR HER FAKENESS.

John running about with the Rosie doll is fucking great. They are definitely every bit the parents you would expect.

I can’t get over how bad the baby thing is though – very obviously fake – the way the hood was sitting is stupidly horrible. It would be dead.

They’re saying they’re child is a bit of a rotten piece of flesh in bed – my goodness! As a parent I can tell you I have not done this. Not even when my babe was that smol.

I like that last name: Harker. I’ll have to use it sometime as a throwback to SH.

I glanced back up and I thought this was an odd photo shoot but it’s a dead body.

What does that say about me… probably nothing good.

THE FUCK SHERLOCK?!

Is anyone else not impressed with this fight scene? Like, it definitely felt artificial.

I mean, all fight scenes are, but they were maybe a little too safe with that one.

Does the man know about this fight is happening in his house?

There should be blood on that dudes face.

I can only assume the guy didn’t necessarily know – or at least knew to call the police? I’m intrigued.

I ache for what I know is going ot happen man, I don’t want to know it.

But I know it.

And I know what John says to Sherlock.

And I HURT FOR MY SHERL.

Our Sherl, really.

Let me be selfish at this moment.

SHOOTING STUFFS HAPPENIGN PEOPLES DEAD.

That must have been Mary?

Yes.

Yes it was.

Those two were partners, then, and it must have gone south.

That was a pretty wide stand for general lap top use.

Anyone else feel uncomfortable about that?

Okay, so that’s not Mary’s JD.

That’s just the JD of one of her partners – the partner trying to murder her.

That’s why he was looking for the statues. Okay dokay.

Are we to believe as the viewers that the person hanging up that they were punching was Mary? Because she got some seriously repressed issues if it was – like I hope John is gentle with her.

No Entry naturally means ENTER ALL THE TIMES.

What an odd rendezvous..

Necessary, of course.

Sherlock is being a good friend right now.

“Polite title.”

Yeah, really wrong is a way to put it.

She’s excited for him to be alive.

But she don’t know – She doesn’t know – he wants to murder her.

Sherlock is trying so hard to keep her safe.

That’s a considerable amount of bronzer on her cheeks. Beautiful woman she is, though. Make-up or not.

SHERLOCK THE DRAGONSLAYER IS MY FAVE EVER

My husband just told me it looks like I’ve just found a way to connect Sherlock and Merlin.

DID THIS BITCH DRUG HIM?

MARY YOU FUCKING BITCH HE WAS TRYING TO BE A GOOD FRIEND AND YOU DID THE BAD FRIEND BITCH BYE DON’T COME BACK

You are going to die.

You are GOING to do the DIE.

DOES JOHN KNOW SHE DRUGGED HIS BEST FRIEND?

“I love an acronym.”

“It went horribly wrong.”

WHAT A WAY TO PUT IT AGAIN

“Difficult to tell the difference these days.”

Mycroft calling out the OOC like a boss.

The retired in a permanent sort of way. Oh gosh.

Is this Mary?

Oh gods it is.

Poor John.

GIVE JOHN THE HUGGLES.

GIVE HIM A SHOT OF WHISKY AND A HUGGLE.

John is a single dad, oh lawd help.

I’m curious where this gun business is going.

OF FUCKING COURSE

GODDAMN SHERLOCK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING

“How the fuck” indeed princess.

They’re having a laugh.

I love them having a laugh.

JOHN

JOHN YOU SHOULD PUNCH HER SHOULDER PLAYFULLY AND THEN KISS HER FACE.

John deserves better, and I want him to be happy, and if he wants to be happy with her – that’s great – but he’s not getting everything he deserves in the relationship.

BITCH NO YOU DO NOT DESERVE JOHN WATSON.

YOU ARE A GOOD FRIEND BUT NOT THE BEST WIFE.

I’m not the best wife either, so I feel you girl, but please be better to John.

With the time that you have left – be good to him.

BE SO GOOD TO HIM!

Is this bro mad because he thought she knew he was alive?

OKAY THAT WAS NO MARY.

So bro is mad because she fled for her life.

I can understand being mad about that – but if someone is really family to you – like – wouldn’t you want that person to do what saves them

I AM SO STRESSED BY THIS SITUATION

MY HEART IS RACING

I WANT TO DO THE CRIES.

So he has legitimate reason to believe that the British woman betrayed them.

Ammo.

Ammo in latin.

John is such a smol bean.

PLEASE DO NOT DO THE BAD THING JOHN

DO NOT CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE

I HOPE YOU DID NOT CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE JOHn

ESPECIALLY WITH NOT SHERLOCK

S;lalkjwoiefr;aoelkrgjva’wdjaghfjlrgn

DO NOT

THROW THAT SHIT AWAY JOHN

FUCKING DAMN DAMN DAMN JOHN

MARY DESERVES BETTER

I CANNOT FUCKING DO THIS

I TAKE AWAY THE SMOL BEAN STATEMENT

WHAT A FUCK

OOC

OOc

Ajs;ldkfja;sdkljfas;kldfasklfasdlkfj;adghwlkajefa

FUCKING NOW

I HATE EVERYTHING

I should have known.

I should have known the way they laid in bed

I thought it was strange

And now it is strange

BECAUSE JOHN IS SUCH A FUCK

THESE TWO FUCKS DESERVE EACH OTHER BECAUSE FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK

I FUCKING HATE THIS

I FUCKING HATE MOFFAT

WHAT ON EARTH MAD THIS FUCKING OKAY

Sdfjas;ldkfjvs/ldck.sjfdlkjsdflsdjfks;dfj

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK THIS

Does Sherlock know?

Is this why he’s been involving Mary in his case?

IS SHERLOCK TRYING TO HELP JOHN MAKE BAD CHOICES.

I am so mad.

FUCKING

MAD

SO FUCKING MAD

I should have KnoWN

MOFFAT TOUCHES IT

IT IS RUINED

BECAUSE HE CANNOT LEAVE GOOD ENOUGH ALONE

I CANNOT BREATHE BECAUSE I AM SO RAGE

HOW THE HELL CAN I LOOK AT JOHN NOW WITHOUT WANTING TO PUNCH

JOHN IS NOT THAT KIND OF MAN

HE IS NOT THE KIND OF MAN TO DO THAT BECAUSE HE IS TOO GOOD HE IS TOO LOYAL

THAT IS SO OOC THAT I CANNOT ACCEPT ANY OF THIS SEASON AS CANNON NOW BECAUSE THAT SHIT IS FUCKED UP

GOOD MEN MAKE BAD MISTAKES BUT THIS WAS NOT NO NO NO

This is not John.

John would make a stupid mistake like – putting the wrong fuel in a car.

ICE LOLLY LADY

Sherlock should have brought an ICE LOLLY

I cannot handle this.

I don’t mean to shame people who have affairs – because it happens. It’s a natural thing that happens – IN STRAINED RELATIONSHIPS if the people are good people – and I would not be surprised that Mary and John have a fractures relationship on a good day. So I get it – I understand – I think it happens more often than not. But dammnit, John Watson is loyal to the Nth degree. He wouldn’t sell out his mates if it meant his death. What bothers me about this is that I can’t imagine any alternate universe – no other time line – NOTHING – nowhere would John do this to Mary.

He loves her so much he was willing to let her past be in the past so he could marry her. HE LOVES HER SO MUCH that she holds her on the same pedestal as Sherlock – letting her be a proper git running around the world to ‘solve’ her problem.

John.

Watson.

Would.

Not.

Do.

This.

To.

Mary.

FUCKING NO

The gun is pointed at Sherlock

And now it’s not Sherlock dying.

Sherlock called for the ambulance.

“Come on Doctor you can do better.”

Oh my gods.

I’m not crying – you’re crying.

“I’m sorry for shooting you, that time.”

Come on Doctor you can do metter.

John is disturbingly calm.

His screaming is frightening.

Scary John Watson is Scary.

I’m shaking.

Side note, I’m surprised that martin wasn’t more emotional watching he love die like that – fake or not. The Phelps twins had a very difficult time after the death scene in Deathly Hallows – and I thought this would have been equally as difficult for Martin and Amanda.

John is so angry.

I am so legitimately scared.

Martin would play the villain quite well.

HOLY SHIT. Sherlock is the one in therapy.

That is super groundbreaking.

A more human Sherlock Holmes is such a crazy thing.

Mycroft looks like he lives in the basement of his work building.

Headcannon?

Will John move back to 221 with Rosie? Probably not – not safe. Not safe at all.

“Work is the best antidote to sorrow.”

That is true, for me.

NORBURY

NORBARRY

NORBURRY

NORBERRY

Miss Me disc.

Fucking hell.

“Thought that would get your attention.”

I am permanently fucked up.

Molly doesn’t look impressed to have Sherlock around.

I don’t like how brash she’s being. I know of all people she has every right to be – but she’s been just as dedicated to him as anyone else. I don’t like it. I know everyone reaches a point of no tolerance.

“Save John Watson.”

Save him from what – oh gods.

SAVE HIM FROM WHAT

John needs to stop. PLEASE STAHP JOHN.

“Go to hell, Sherlock.”

THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT ABOUT

FUCK

FUCKING ME UP

ALL OF IT FUCKING ME UP GODDAMN

SO – A brief reflection of the episode.

So, all in all it wasn’t as terrible as I was expecting. I don’t lie when I say I hate Moffat. He convolutes things and leaves plot holes galore. He has this way of leaving POC out of his work and being a general twat about LGBT. The episode was well done.

I’m a bit rusty, of course, and feel poorly about my ability to foretell the events of the episodes as well as I have in the past. (I’ve not read all of the Sherlock Holmes stories).

Back to content, I think they humanized Sherlock in a beautiful way – and it did seem OOC but it was OOC in the right way. Transitions always feel off and ill-placed. We as people have to make changes and it shows, we are always uncomfortable in the early stages of change – doubtful of ourselves. So Sherlock’s OOC nature was not a problem for me.

But John… I don’t like what is happening with him. I don’t like the shady affair business. I don’t like him deferring and submitting to Mary and Sherlock. I don’t like his shutting Sherlock out for something that wasn’t even his fault. JOHN TOLD MARY TO GO – and were John there he’d have done exactly as Mary did. John is a smart man, emotional to boot, but intelligent and reasonable. Whatever is happening with his character reeks of poor writing. I’m not particularly excited to see what becomes of his character.

This may be the season that taints Johnlock for me – as a friendship or otherwise.

This episode made me appreciate Mary more, and I hadn’t liked her at all. Not because she was a bad character or anything. I didn’t like her for John, it never felt right. But now – I have a lot of respect for her because she did give John the option of knowing what she came from. He chose not to know. So I feel she’d been fairly transparent from that point on. I don’t agree with her choices but she clearly was trying harder that I believed prior to the whole random affair that had 0% purpose to the story.

IT DID NOT BELONG.

And Molly, she’s cold. She felt off. She’ll bit at Sherlock for being a git, but it’s almost like she’s eaten up this false story of Sherlock being a villain – some poppycock John is surely spouting off in his fits of rage. And John has those, those complaints about Sherlock and his work and his flaws… But nothing that would convince anyone he genuinely hates Sherlock. This just…

I feel like Sherlock has gained some humanity to appease those around him, but not the people around him have decided “Just kidding, we’re still over it.” Like, I don’t know. Maybe I’m seeing through a lens that holds Sherlock on high… But these characters are turning on him, it feels, right? Not like in season two when Moriarty ripped apart his reputation – but genuine friends turning their back to him.

Like I said, I know people reach a point where they can give no more tolerance. There is a point in time where we can’t give any more of ourselves to a toxic person or a toxic relationship; and it is good to walk away when it becomes an issue for him. But I cannot believe that is what is happening.

And return to the point of John’s affair.

What poor writing – unless it gets addressed in the next episode.

Sherlock didn’t hint to knowing.

Mary didn’t hint to knowing. If anyone would know – those two would know.

And I don’t feel confidently any lines in this episode suggest that either Mary or Sherlock actually know. I had my theory that Sherlock did know and was encouraging John (or rather protecting Mary by keeping her busy – he did seem more protective and invested in Mary than John this episode, and he’s even been someone inclined towards Mary over John in the past in one way or another).

That’s the sort of stuff that bothers me about projects Moffat is associated with… There’s also something missing that makes the project feel wrong. Incomplete. Wrong.

As for the plot – it was nice to have more about Mary revealed. It was nice to not be delving right back into the Moriarty business. It’s also nice to have more domesticity in the show – a way to keep older characters relevant who don’t feel quite as important anymore with the case searching that Sherlock does on his own. And there didn’t even need to be a compromise to the content that people actually watch Sherlock for: a mystery.

If I had to give this work a grade or a rating – I think I’ll give is a solid A- or 8/10.

It’s hard to say for sure because I couldn’t read all the text because of my live blogging and details surely went unnoticed. For now I’m pretty impressed. It exceeded my expectations but didn’t completely “wow” in any way except this affair nonsense that will eat away at me for the rest of all eternity.

#sherlock #sherlocked #the six thatchers #t6t #spoilers #sherlock season 4 #fandom rant #live blog

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3d-explainer-video · 5 years

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BIKE SHOP

So why somebody dressed like a certain somebody broke what’s going on here rough dude in I really I really inspire you on a daily got alright guys we are here my bike shop again it is disgusting raining outside I’ll show you guys through the window it is terrible outside absolutely disgusting it’s been raining since we got back from California every single day literally non-stop through the night in the morning all day I’ve never seen it rain this much in a really long time so instead of going to the skate park we decided to do something different as you can see we cleared out all the bikes from my bike shop right here we put them all on that side just for tonight because we’re gonna have fun in here we’re going to make the best of the situation and we’re just going to hang out inside the bike shop and ride so let’s play trick for trick it’s pretty easy all you guys have to do is set a trick and the rest of people have to copy it it’s almost like a game of bike but there’s like no weird little rules to it there’s no like Mulligan’s or anything like that so trick for trick two strikes okay that’s it two strikes you get your first strike you’re okay second strike you were out of the game sound good alright so first let me go court burglar you were the head judge today so who do you think should go why you go first Ronny Serge hi bro you’re trying to go what kind trick again give us my solo Jeter oh geez oh yeah okay cool it might not be little may be big bro here we go taking nali nali three yeah okay all you people watching right now that wasn’t a G turn that was a nollie 3 but we all love Ronnie and we support his skill set we’re gonna all do the nollie three down good so where’d you learn that move I learn Elf a flatlander missus what woman’s name I can’t remember all right so come on who wants to go next I’ll go so good night all right big boy not nollie 360 on the flat that is not gonna happen today that’s an X that doesn’t count alright okay you know you one strike it doesn’t put me out I’m still in this right I sat next mother lay down hammers on you shot dude I’m next so I’m getting my shot okay who’s up shy Matt good I’ll get it come on commissioner that counts that kills awesome there we go alright Benny me oh you know what say let’s get it video mini no not like three that count that counts as well alright perfect tell us haven’t seen E we got a really mean you judge you know right I’ll even have to bother counts that counted Oh Oh camera camera going over to me camera oh oh oh please don’t lean up easily know what oh yes what would you like not you got that you like dragged your tire a little too far that is beyond even drag my tire judge says judge goes jeez hey you got a strike I got ya here’s a tool it’s in the rule book you can actually veto this if you go and talk to the competitors and you get a full stretch of everybody that goes with it boys was that not like three good enough gotta give it to you well he’s judging my next trick so it doesn’t count I was like yes but just in case I mess up wanna buy that okay and I want to be let off okay cool sorry core you’ve been vetoed whatever alright so let’s get this going next trick is the official underscore big boy come on Big Boy I hope Corey goes a little lenient on you I don’t know what Rick you’re gonna do wrong alright boys next one up I got Shawn Mac I’m gonna do a op 180 180 I got Appa 180 coming up beautiful going big yes next one well I guess you call the opposite 180 we won’t talk about that Indian giver right we’re gonna head judge double thumbs up come on Big Boy you could be out on this one if you donate it I just wanna remind you that is Apple 162 222 hair cap cool thing that’s fine that was a Jersey hop we’re in Jersey account alright let’s eat it up 180 discount cap but I guess we could count it alright after the second round does anybody have X’s here anybody nobody everybody’s good clean slate that guy oh I think we have a cameraman any chance given X Corps I got X nope all right Korea has officially been discontinued as head judge because he’s still on pain medication and he cannot remember when big boy messed up what so we have a new spectator on the trike now let me enter you want to enter yeah wow this guy that’s my trick does come through that’s my that was pretty cool probably false we gonna do inspired on a road bike the other night I’m gonna do hop no fuck him yeah inspired on the road like to do a hop nobody kid that was really good really good who wants to go come on big rod I want to see textbook right here heck’s have the growing x5 over the top chip I mean what side you doing oh that’s one be on the best side possible you know I bet even need to pay to see how small ways I just want to go out there and say that Ronnie does not wear a single pad when he rides and that noise was definitely his pedal macking his shinbone there’s gonna be tears coming out of this man’s eyes right now Jesus come on let it happen I’m an international bad boy go all right let them drip I know you guys do not crying to die oh you’re a nice boy hey listen any man that could sleep in a tent for 12 hours and hit the shinbone like that you’re more of a man than all of us here I’d say that scum a wildcat whose own eggs oh okay good shot back nobody kick in oh let’s go yeah I wasn’t sure you’re gonna skip right over me I know I’m here for you man come on jet black catch a park that was huge if you laid it down my mind would have been blown dude huh forget last night of all again soon when we talked about this I did the intro is like you will get no Mulligan’s in this game gone down beautiful oh there we go counts counts yeah I would ask the head judge but you know we don’t got one anymore because is salsa honorable discharge it’s honorable discharge that judge I’m gonna do 180 half-cat Manuel 180 that’s what I like to see right there a link come on down come on down bro it’s only in your heart oh you get a pack you get a manual three doubt of that all right I think it’s time we take things to the next level what we’re gonna do is a special concoction I came up with this is called the reversal no-footed bunnyhop follow me all right if you all right ready stay back a little bit you all miss it that’s a good thing I’m gonna be very upset with myself very very upset what’s hot well I mean I want to start straight Hoffman otherwise he’ll the film not it doc Pomus it already assume in a position you guys done stay fed on your bikes at the wrong direction long ginger nation baby ginger nation watch this it’s what I could watch in life now but you know I pulled the trick shot doesn’t matter I mean a lot of you guys are watching my channel and you guys on the background of Ronnie Ronnie was a number 10 ranked vert ramp rider in the world he’s with the bring it back it was right now this next trick is a my op Ron give him something that so flatland that they don’t even know his flatland well I think show him something wrong Oh teaching a lesson Oh God do you realize how many people are about to be watching this right now yeah I know people all over the world there he’s checking in dude you want to unleash something that people have never seen before that they’re gonna be like wow that guy Ronnie he’s something else we didn’t have eating days things when they’re gonna have to cool the Thai stand a walk together tips finish wanna you guys heard it I’m a test on all Nicola right you got a French accent if that robot wasn’t so expensive it got kick who’s up next did you ever do that did you ever do the fakie nobler thing oh he didn’t ever take the letter yeah alright taking a letter keep taking action on x1x you always axes here how many X’s you have 1x what about you 1 what about you what about you mom what about you well I almost had one ok but then we took we took care of that problem we actually gave him dishonorable discharge and now he’s a spectator over there you guys probably seen the little guy in the book trike over there I’m gonna do something that I normally don’t do I’m gonna do a tire grab flat I don’t know why but I’m gonna do a tire Gravatar country charger it’s like completely stop the whole tire come on man you can’t just you got a new sign X Games baby she’s hot yeah you got yeah you got this wrong ah you got this oh you know he reversed the wheel they have done like four tire grabs my life let’s go fuck yeah number five ooh sorry Ben that’s an X T I’ll see you later little boy I know Tom’s got this watch this Lewis he’s gonna send it back to the moon Oh take notes take notes sure now take him take your notepad out and take some notes on that cuz even he can give you a lesson on that one he’s gonna send it back to the moon hi thank you alright now you said it back to the moon yeah I’m gonna send it back to the moon guy seriously you’re gonna leave planet Earth ready just walked by here we go no dude I drop my water bottle what happened there I was weird a muscle just came right out of my fuck sure shut up honesty we got a hater come on it can’t target oh yeah yeah yeah yeah Ron I’m sorry man Oh [Music] [Applause] run from another ginger another did you I don’t want to do this but you don’t stop it these games are getting me down man I’m always like the second or third and I can’t really show my full potential it doesn’t matter who’s first out or second out it’s about expanding your horizons and BMX you know so there’s gonna be some tricks out there that you might have never even tried before but it’s all about trying it trying your best and seeing if you can better yourself now this week when this game is over I want you to go back to wherever you’re staying at you know which is probably the room in my house that’s touching I want you to take the bike out and I want you think about all those tricks you had issues with and instead of hating them for what they did to you this week I want you to practice them and I want you to perfect them and come back even stronger I want you to grab that tire I’m gonna grab I want you to grab that tire I want you to grab that tire like Rose should’ve grabbed Jack you know when you hear him go she let him go okay now he’s down here in an ice cube that’s that’s what I’m trying to say there by spending horizons I’m ways out there I’m doing it exactly I’m flying high exactly I can’t believe I missed that let’s try to make the best that you know like a little help really took them to the next level so all right my trick right yeah you know we were going to do a 180 bar spin to have cab bars for now here we go before Corey gets over 180 fakie hop t-bog fakie heck about greasing up I gotta get back at the line Linens this is greatest thing I’ve ever heard is he so good stepping it up an inch oh so Kevin’s saying it well you’re up next you back it up I’m ready for it that was amazing hopefully I’ll land with both hands I’m out I’m out you’re out not long peace out man peace out me and I’m down to the wire to you uh I’ve never done this before a winner and a loser about Cory’s in the sitting position so let’s go right now okay right here that’s the next boys all right my trick I’m gonna do the same trick as I did before 180 bar hand cap bar he’s got the pork you break out let’s go oh you’re so worried about what he’s doing over there that you’re not focused on the trick I got in his head head games I’m having dreams for everything 180 half-cab manual 180 half cap key bug dude then I got to do something though because it really would be high five he’s got the pedaling right now good to meet me I tried there was full commitment right now all right so what I’m going to do I’m gonna do 180 set up fakie do a fakie manual bar spin out fakie yeah just do it I don’t understand what you said to me always yeah sorry sir there we go all right Dom I’m do the same thing back Mabel same you got this you got this right now you got this and your Rico survives around the world that was unbelievable oh do I have to do do you like to do that dreidel come to top maneuver okay okay okay seven you have to polish trick or otherwise you lose this game I know pressure it’s on pressures on I know okay guys there’s a certain sign sitting over there that’s a bike shop yeah sold for so we’re good okay here we go 180 hi guys yeah here we go boys I messed up my footing dumb Simoncini is your flat ground game of bike champion of the world give them victory lap right now just go off flat ground crazy right now just goes do his main flat guy jump again oh yeah keep going keep it going keep it going keep it going just get black just get weird this is your dance floor get all out here oh yeah oh yeah I got trick I got I want you well 180 bars now Tom Tom and Cena killed it I’m gonna try something real quick five talked about this cannot back down oh god please here we go whip match I’m doing it right now this is it thanks for Jack put your nose I saw papa no this was expensive this is expensive hmm no it wasn’t actually but if there is a clothing company out there look in the sponsor hey I’ll do your work rerun I want in blanks breadstick sugar and Alfredo dipping sauce what this is it yes yes what do you think about that boo that you’re sitting in man when you had your first experience at all cards okay think about when they brought they said would you like the breadsticks and would you say yesterday’s exactly no when they said they said you want more breadsticks will you say yes please I said keep them coming to our life let’s keep them coming just keep them coming baby oh my god that’s pretty uninvite your legend Ronny Serge is a man you guys should definitely follow Matt Ronny Serge right now listen we had a fun session tonight if you chat to everybody at Road today big shout to DOM Simoncini for winning the game of bike so we’re about to film it right now but it’s going to go out tomorrow for you guys and yes it does involve the rainbow kicker that’s waiting right there so I hope you guys enjoyed this one until next time remember to subscribe to channel and thanks for watching guys peace

The post BIKE SHOP appeared first on Kids Bikes Shop Real reviews by real bicycle customer.

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toysrlagos-blog · 5 years

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Green Ideas for Children This Holiday Season

The holiday season is fast approaching and there are many ways to spread the good cheer to our children by not only giving green toys but also teaching them green practices.

If you're children like mine ask every two seconds while watching a cartoon "I want that!" "No I want that!" "Wait, wait, I want that!" You are not alone. There are toys from crying babies that can eat and talk to full size robots that can move around with a touch of a button. Bikes and trikes, scooters, and mini toy cars. Lets not even mention the stocking stuffer toys that are itty bits of plastic that are used as filler that will soon get thrown away.

Also you soon realize that after giving all your children toys and gifts that after a week or two most of them lay in the toy room and not picked up again for months or never. Then the next Christmas comes along and more toys are added and more and more until finally there are so many toys with missing pieces, broken arms and ripped out pages that they get thrown away. It can be a never ending cycle of buying more and wasting more. Not just your money but also the earth.

I would like to offer some green present ideas and green gift substitutes for this holiday season. I think that the holiday season can be more memorable and enjoyable if we can take the time to focus on our families and our community. When we keep things small and simple we feel healthy in our minds and our bodies. Our community and earth benefit as well with less waste products filling land and air.

Green Present Ideas

Try to upcycle toys with neighbors and extended family. Most toys in your own home are in great condition but are maybe not age appropriate. If you have a neighbor who has a daughter a few years older than your daughter see if there are some toys that you could either trade for or buy to save money and landfill space. If you have a friend who's son is obsessed with trains contact her and let her know that your son has outgrown all his.

Look around your house for objects that can be made into toys. Try making a doll house out of a large sturdy cardboard box, take your time cutting out windows and doors, attach wallpaper from leftover wallpaper from your dining room, use extra fabric to make bed coverings and window curtains. Children love getting gifts from the heart not just from the toy store.

If you know how to wood work ask for free leftover wood at a lumber store or construction site. Check out the internet for instructions to build wooden toys like trains, cars, toy guns, and even action figures. Any boy would love to play and imagine with something that was made just for him.

Green Gift Substitutes

For older children who have grown out of toys a great idea to enjoy the holiday season while being green is volunteering at homeless shelters and soup kitchens either during Christmas season or even on Christmas day. Have them look for gently used toys and clothes that they have outgrown that they would like to donate. Or try a road side clean up activity where all cans collected could be exchanged for money and donated to a cause.

Another great idea for gift giving within the family is gifts of service. A foot rub for mom, doing dishes for one week for brother, shoveling snow for dad. Gifts of service often say more than a watch or new CD.

If you do buy toys try to look for toys that are made from recycled plastics. Check out Etsy for homemade gifts that are made in a more homemade green way.

There are lots of ways we can teach children green living and gift giving and the holiday season is a perfect way to incorporate both.

MOTTO: Building Children For Christ LUKE 1:37

Toys R Lagos in Lagos, Nigeria Allows You to Experience Different Levels of Fun Toy Shopping

We offer retail and wholesale distribution of new or used toys, books, educational games. Out door and indoor toys. We service all of Nigeria and all of Africa. Our store, Toys R Lagos is one of the biggest and coolest toy stores in Lagos. We sell a wide range of kid’s toys, books, clothes, ride-on cars as well as house goods all in excellent condition. Most of our stock was previously barely used. The ride-on cars for children come in various brands and are among our top selling products. These include BMW, Mercedes-Benz and Jeep. The smiles of the faces of kids we see when they sit in these cars are priceless! Locate us on Ogudu Road, pass Ogudu round about Ogudu GRA, Lagos Nigeria and you won't be disappointed. We make thrift shopping an easy experience you will enjoy!

Please find here more information toys for sale in Lagos Nigeria..

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mildreadmorablog · 6 years

Video

youtube

Buy it on Amazon - https://ift.tt/2H9QoOw - Cheap! Toddler Trike Tricycle Baby Balance Bike Bicycle 10-24 Months No Foot Pedal Kids Little Bike 4 Wheels Infant Learning Walker -- Click the link to buy now or to read the 3 4 & 5 Star Reviews.Subscribe to our Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC61o5cD7FKn1OtkIba-dKQg?sub_confirmation=1 Cheap! Toddler Trike Tricycle Baby Balance Bike Bicycle 10-24 Months No Foot Pedal Kids Little Bike 4 Wheels Infant Learning Walker Our one year and our almost three year old love this bike ... Reviewer : Celgibs This bike is perfect my one year old dosent touch The floor yet but he still plays with it.....tye design is perfect bike looks futuristic ... Reviewer : RALPHIE Click https://ift.tt/2H9QoOw to buy now on Amazon or to read more reviews. STABLE 4 WHEEL DESIGN: Fully enclosed wheel, avoiding clamping your baby's feet. 4 wheel design makes the bike stable, the mini balance bike is easier for children to learn to walk and develop kid¡¯s great coordination. COMFORTABLE AND SOFT SEAT: ABS seat makes the toddler bike more comfortable when children ride on the baby tricycle for long time. SAFE AND DURABLE: Handlebar is made of ABS, it's non-slip and comfortable for children to touch. ABS frame is more stable, the smooth surface makes it's secure for children to touch. RELIABLE QUALITY: The kids tricycle is certified by ASTM F963 and EN71 safety standards , quality is guaranteed. If there is any question, pls feel free to contact us, we are glad to solve all problems for you. This is a lot more plastic that I was thinking it was going to be. The reason its even getting four stars is because my son absolutely loves it ... Reviewer : Ashley Click https://ift.tt/2H9QoOw to buy now on Amazon or to read more reviews. ***Let Us Know What You Think… Comment Below!!*** Watch my other review Videos – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC61o5cD7FKn1OtkIba-dKQg Subscribe to our Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC61o5cD7FKn1OtkIba-dKQg?sub_confirmation=1 #Toddler Trike Tricycle Baby Balance Bike Bicycle 10-24 Months No Foot Pedal Kids Little Bike 4 Wheels Infant Learning Walker This is a review video for : B07B3VCZQQ Related Videos in Channel

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rudlraavah · 6 years

Video

youtube

Buy it on Amazon - https://ift.tt/2H9QoOw - Buy at Best Price! Toddler Trike Tricycle Baby Balance Bike Bicycle 10-24 Months No Foot Pedal Kids Little Bike 4 Wheels Infant Learning Walker -- Click the link to buy now or to read the 3 4 & 5 Star Reviews.Subscribe to our Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW1mR4PBAKJcuiFcQG5-nPg?sub_confirmation=1 Buy at Best Price! Toddler Trike Tricycle Baby Balance Bike Bicycle 10-24 Months No Foot Pedal Kids Little Bike 4 Wheels Infant Learning Walker Our one year and our almost three year old love this bike ... Reviewer : Celgibs This bike is perfect my one year old dosent touch The floor yet but he still plays with it.....tye design is perfect bike looks futuristic ... Reviewer : RALPHIE Click https://ift.tt/2H9QoOw to buy now on Amazon or to read more reviews. STABLE 4 WHEEL DESIGN: Fully enclosed wheel, avoiding clamping your baby's feet. 4 wheel design makes the bike stable, the mini balance bike is easier for children to learn to walk and develop kid¡¯s great coordination. COMFORTABLE AND SOFT SEAT: ABS seat makes the toddler bike more comfortable when children ride on the baby tricycle for long time. SAFE AND DURABLE: Handlebar is made of ABS, it's non-slip and comfortable for children to touch. ABS frame is more stable, the smooth surface makes it's secure for children to touch. RELIABLE QUALITY: The kids tricycle is certified by ASTM F963 and EN71 safety standards , quality is guaranteed. If there is any question, pls feel free to contact us, we are glad to solve all problems for you. This is a lot more plastic that I was thinking it was going to be. The reason its even getting four stars is because my son absolutely loves it ... Reviewer : Ashley Click https://ift.tt/2H9QoOw to buy now on Amazon or to read more reviews. ***Let Us Know What You Think… Comment Below!!*** Watch my other review Videos – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW1mR4PBAKJcuiFcQG5-nPg Subscribe to our Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW1mR4PBAKJcuiFcQG5-nPg?sub_confirmation=1 #Toddler Trike Tricycle Baby Balance Bike Bicycle 10-24 Months No Foot Pedal Kids Little Bike 4 Wheels Infant Learning Walker This is a review video for : B07B3VCZQQ Related Videos in Channel

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3one3 · 8 years

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The Sequel -775

Juan’s Dinner Party, Part 1

André Schürrle, Juan Mata, other Chelsea and BVB players, and random awesome OC’s

(okay they’re less random now but they’re still pretty awesome)

original epic tale

all chapters of The Sequel

“Hiiiiii. Sorry we’re a bit late. We needed to have a little nap in the car,” Christina explained apologetically with a cranky child in one arm and shopping bag full of gifts on the other in Juan’s doorway on Monday evening. Chelsea beat Bournemouth 3-0 and Stamford Bridge was rocking. It was all a touch too much for Lukas to handle.

“You’re not late.” Juan gave him a kiss on the cheek, and then moved on to give his mother one too. “Long time no see,” he said to André, who got a handshake. He was stuck carrying Christina’s purse and the bag of stuff meant to keep Lukas well behaved all night. The Spaniard was all smiles and holiday cheer. The German told himself he would try to be social and pleasant. That vow was already on shaky legs though because watching his old team bag their 12th win on the trot and maintain their 6-point lead at the top of the Premier League was bittersweet. He was happy to see his old teammates and friends succeed, and he loved the club, and the supporters. It was just hard not to think he made the wrong decision in leaving. His new club was sitting 6th, miles from the top, not playing well, and not playing with him. There was no telling if Antonio Conte would have fit André into the new look Chelsea, but hardly playing for the league leaders is always going to be better than hardly playing for a title contender squirming under pressure way down the table.

“Chris! Oh, bring me that baby,” Juan’s mom cooed while he took the newcomers’ coats, including Lukas’ tiny wool pea coat. He was upset about having to take it off though, just as he was about putting it on. Mama Mata swooped in to steal him for a hug, and he kept saying “Down, Mommy! Down!”

“It turns out he prefers to be in the family suite at the Bridge,” Christina explained. “Not in the nice loungey suite for mere VIP friends of the club and in the outside seats, in all the noise.”

“Aww, poor little angel. Do you remember me? I remember you! I barely recognize you though! So big!”

“Mommy, dowwwwn!” the little blonde in the Fair Isle cardigan whined. André was about to take him. He didn’t like seeing someone else’s mom hold him like a grandmother, and especially not when he appeared to hate that person.

“Sorry,” Christina cringed, reaching to take him back and set him on the floor. Juan squatted down to his level and straightened out his hair while Mrs. Mata greeted André and gave the rider hello-kisses.

“I think Santa delivered one of your presents here by mistake. Do you want to see what it is?”

Lukas peered speculatively at the scruffy player, glanced up at Mommy, and back at him. Juan offered him his hand, to take him to this extra Christmas present, and Christina told him it was okay to go. Lukas grabbed two fingers and went willingly. André didn’t like that either. His son was normally shy around strangers. At his most outgoing he might stand near one and nonchalantly try to get attention, but he would be scared to accept a hand to hold, or to be picked up. It was very clear that Lukas was very comfortable with the Chelsea player.

Everyone followed them into the living room, where they were introduced to Juan’s aunts, uncles, and cousins. Everyone had wine or cocktails, and the dining room table had some kind of extension added in the distance and was already set for tons of people. None of the kids were close to Lukas’ age, and Christina immediately worried that they were in for a difficult night. They couldn’t just set him loose to play with the other children, but those kids were young enough that he would identify with them and want to be involved with them, so they couldn’t keep him separated either. One of his parents would need to sort of play with him with the other kids. Juan had a solution for that though. He kneeled by his rather sparsely decorated Christmas tree and slid a very big box out from under it.

Oh, there she is, Christina thought while Lukas began the painstakingly slow process of tearing the cartoon reindeer paper from the large box. She spotted Taylor and two people she assumed were Taylor’s parents walk in from the hallway to the master bedroom. They were conspicuously absent from the introductions. The author was wearing an all white, wide-leg, one-shoulder jumpsuit in baggy elastane with a sleeve down to her pointy elbow. Her pointy elbows always irritated the other American girl. The fact that she looked 8’ tall in the solid jumpsuit was irritating too, and so was the level of cliché WASPyness attained by her parents. Her mom was in slim black trousers and a rose-pink silk “poncho type thing” with cascading ruffles, and black peep-toe Jimmy Choos. Her dyed blonde hair was chin length and soft, and crisply level all the way around. To Christina she was the picture of a middle-aged Palm Beach wife. Her husband wore an oxford shirt, a v-neck sweater, and a navy sport coat. The brass buttons on it gave Christina flashbacks to her country club childhood.

“Woooow, do you know what that is?” Juan asked Lukas, pointing at the picture on the box. His talk-to-little-kids voice made his ex-girlfriend want to laugh sometimes. It was like he tried too hard. She knew he was normally more relaxed around her son. Normally he was just cute with him. There must be like, extra pressure to do well with the kids when he’s got them running all over, she surmised, though the handful of young cousins- aged about 5 to 10 and a mix of boys and girls- were stationary, and watching to see what toy the new kid got. “It’s a Ferrari. And you can drive it.” Lukas had no idea what that explanation meant, but he sure got it when Juan Sr. provided a knife to cut open the box and get the miniature Formula 1 pedal car out. It had a rear wing with lifelike DRS flap, a low nose and wide front wing, air inlets in the sidepods for the imaginary radiators, a rollbar, wing mirrors, slick tires, and replica open-wheel style suspension arms at the front. In addition to the Scuderia Ferrari badging, the red racer was festooned in sponsor stickers- Shell, Vodafone, Santander, Bridgestone, etc. Some of them were from much older eras of Formula 1 racing and didn’t really fit with some of the styling elements of the car, but Lukas wouldn’t know that. His blue eyes grew huge when Juan showed him that his new toy could roll. He loved anything with wheels.

“Ohmygosh,” Christina gushed. I fucking want one. “How cool is this?” She smoothed her extra-long stretchy pencil skirt and got down on her knees to help Lukas check out his racecar. Her pumps had already been deposited under the side table out of habit, so there was no pain in sitting on her heels.

“Want to get in?” Juan asked. He reached in to pat the seat and Lukas nodded emphatically, so he lifted him into it and tried to wedge his arm down in between his legs to show him how the pedals work. “Hold onto the wheel. You’re moving!”

“Does he know how to pedal?” Juan’s mom asked André, who was internally harping on the fact that his former teammate probably had to pre-assemble the Ferrari. It came out of the box perfect, with no Styrofoam, or instruction booklets. It had tons of moving parts. That he took the time to do that surprised the German.

“He has a three-wheel bike thing that he knows how to ride,” he confirmed just as Lukas seemed to get the hang of his new setup. The car rolled a couple of feet before Christina intercepted him. There were too many potential hazards in the immediate vicinity to let him go, like the Christmas tree, and adults holding Cabernet.

“Do you love it?” she asked the happy child, who wore a face splitting grin and bounced in his racing-inspired seat. “Can you say “thank you” to Juan for giving you such a cool toy?”

“Thank you!” Lukas repeated, excited. He held his arms out for a hug too, and Juan obliged. Also to André’s surprise, he seemed genuinely happy to have pleased the child. His second thought after the some-assembly-required thing was that he just got the car to impress Christina. It even said “Vettel” on it. “Daddy, push!” Oh no he did not, the German said to himself. He did not just- “Daddy, puuuuush.” Lukas turned around to find his dad, and consequently put out the fire he’d just started. André thought he was calling Juan “Daddy”.

“Push with your feet, Munchkin,” Christina advised. “It’s not like your wagon. It’s like your trike. You make it go.”

“Do you want to take it to the hallway and the entrance so he can drive up and down in the empty space?” the Chelsea midfielder suggested.

“I’ll go with him,” the ex-Chelsea midfielder volunteered. I would definitely rather go play with Mausi in the hall than stand here holding Chris’ bag.

“Me too. I wanna see Eva in action,” Christina smiled. “That’s what Seb named his first Ferrari.”

“Chris, what can I get you to drink?” Juan’s mom asked as she got up and fixed her skirt again. The rider woke up feeling “very Calvin Klein” and thought the silhouette of the stretchy black below-the-knee pencil skirt and another white ultra-soft James Perse tee was very fitting, but then when she tried the combo on it felt too casual, so she spiffed it up with the opera length strand of Mikimoto Akoya pearls André gave her as a present once, and her new lightning bracelet, and a sparkly metallic smoky eye she had to do in the car after the match because it never would have survived her squinting against the wind at the Bridge. Naturally that annoyed André too, because she was putting so much effort into looking great to make an impression on some other guy’s family.

“Umm...I’m okay for now, actually. Babe, do you want something? Here, lemme take that. I’m sorry.” Christina reached for her purse and the other bag and paused to smooch his cheek too, then picked up her shopping bag as well. “Juan, do you want your presents? None of them are from Ferrari, sadly.”

“Bring to the hallway. I’ll open while he drives the car. I’m just going to make you something. You’ll like,” the younger Juan smiled. Christina quietly told him to make something for her husband too, under her breath, since the other player was already pushing Lukas toward the hall. And then when she fell into step behind him with her three bags she realized they were going to pass right by Taylor and her family, who were kind of loitering behind one side of the couch and not mingling with the footballer’s family, who went back to whatever they were doing before there was a cute kid getting a Ferrari in front of them. The adults were talking in Spanish and drinking, it seemed, and the kids had some kind of board game happening on the floor in front of the coffee table. And so begins the awkwardness, Christina narrated as she neared the author, her perfect mother, and her some-kind-of-big-US-military-general-guy father, and prepared to pretend like she was just noticing them for the first time. Taylor beat her to it.

“Hey André. Hey Chris,” the beautiful blonde said with a smile just the fake side of warm.

“Hey! Merry Christmas! Love your outfit!” No I don’t. Screw jumpsuits. How is she gonna pee in that?

“Thanks. This is my mom, Whitney, and my dad, John. These are Juan’s friends.”

Of course they’re Whitney and John, Christina thought while shaking hands. André did too but he had Lukas as an excuse to keep going, and excused himself to keep up with the child who had just figured out he could drive his racecar on his own. Juan’s sister, Paula, appeared out of thin air to put the brakes on the imminent awkwardness that would follow the exchange of pleasantries when the rider and the other Americans would have no logical segue or follow up point of interest. She said she wanted to play with Lukas too, and Christina said she had a present for her in the bag as well, so it made sense for the two of them to leave the group, though the expat figured it still looked rude. She didn’t know how much the parents knew about her and her relationship with Juan.

There was a narrow table by the front door with some pictures on it, but other than that the hallway that ran the full length of the apartment and opened in the middle to a pretty big foyer and second, shorter hallway to the door was empty of potential crash hazards, though the walls themselves were in jeopardy. André cringed as his ecstatic little one drove directly into the wall and thankfully didn’t leave a mark on it. Lukas wasn’t very good at steering. He intentionally rode into the brick edging on the driveway at home to help him turn his plastic trike with the big wheels, and he rode his new scooter into just about everything the previous afternoon. The girls watched him figure out his Ferrari for about 30 seconds before switching their focus to Christmas gifts. Christina bought Hermès silk scarves for Paula and her mom, and swiped some of the silk pocket squares she requested from Dolce & Gabbana for all of her friends for Juan Sr..

“Here’s for you, cariña,” Juan said when he interrupted their chat. Paula opened all four scarves so she could pick which she wanted, with no regard for her mom, which both girls were sure was fine, and they were discussing the pros and cons of each different print. He had two glasses of murky, light brown liquid with a lot of ice and a rosemary sprig stuck in the middle. Christina eyed them suspiciously. “Apple cider margarita. Try.”

“It’s really good,” Paula assured. “I taught him how to make it.” The rider did a cautious taste test, shrugged, and asked if the other glass was for André, who was trying to get the Formula 1 car turned around at the end of the hall.

“No, but it can be. How is Lukas getting on with the car?”

“He’s great. Thank you so much for getting him that, but duuuuude.” Christina glared with wide, accusatory eyes at her ex-boyfriend to scold him for not bringing André a drink. She knew he wouldn’t like the apple cider margarita either. Taylor-related discomfort and Lukas tantrums or boredom weren’t her only concerns about the Boxing Day dinner. She knew André didn’t really want to be subjected to the whole experience. “Hold this.” Her purse was thrust into the Spanish player’s chest and she headed for the kitchen. “And open your presents,” she called over her shoulder.

She didn’t want to let a husband who didn’t want to be there dissuade from the truth that she did want to be there. Boxing Day was wonderful and nothing would ruin it for her. Being at the game was magical. Eden was magical. Christina texted Natasha to ask her what she was feeding him, because he showed off a different ridiculous turn every time he was on the ball, skipped away from gangs of opponents trying to close him in, and damn near scored from an edge of the box rabona executed with such natural instinct and timing that the entire football world would have simply exploded into tinsel confetti had it been a couple of inches lower and gone in. He earned and scored a penalty later on instead to double Pedro’s beauty of a scooped out strike, and the Spaniard doing his best to make up for the suspended Diego’s absence tried to double his own tally in injury time, but the third was officially counted as a Bournemouth own goal. The feeling of being part of a crowd treated to dazzling and biting football was something Christina’s soul certainly missed. Natasha told her that Eden was full of cheese from Christmas, but that he’d been performing on a similar level all season and that it just doesn’t always look as amazing on TV. She told her to come to more games.

“Here ya go, babe.” Christina managed to get herself out of a chat about the game with Juan’s mom in the kitchen while she analyzed all the open wine bottles to select a red for André, and presented it to him back in the hall. He was standing with Juan and Paula, and they were all watching Lukas try to make a circle in the car.

“Thanks. What are you drinking?”

“An apple and tequila thing. Has he figured out how to pedal backward yet or does he keep getting stuck?” Lukas was in a position where he couldn’t go forward any more because of the table and the wall. André sighed and went to help him. “Open your presents,” his wife whined at her friend. She reached into the shopping bag and pulled out a large, squishy gift. He gave his drink to Paula to hold and smirked as soon as he got his hands on the silver wrapping paper.

“I know what this is,” he declared.

“No you don’t.” The rider shook her head and popped her hip.

“It’s one of those cashmere blankets.”

“I hate you.”

“What cashmere blankets?” Paula asked, confused. Her brother tore the paper away to show her the navy James Perse throw. He looked very satisfied with himself, and explained that Christina tried to get him to buy it because she was “abnormally obsessed with them”.

“Well these I know you were not expecting,” Christina declared defiantly upon lifting two bundles of three small paperbacks each, bound in dark silver grosgrain ribbon. She didn’t like to wrap books on the off chance that the necessary tape wouldn’t come off cleanly. A damaged book was to her a ruined book.

“Hmm...”Murder Begets Murder, “Troubled Death”, “Two Faced Death”. These are cheerful, uplifting holiday titles,” the footballer laughed.

“So there’s this guy Roderic Jeffries who has been writing these Inspector Alvarez mysteries since the mid-70s,” his friend explained as Taylor quietly joined the group around the then empty present bag. “He’s with the Mallorca police, so all of the stories take place in Mallorca. There’s like 40 of them. I got the first 6 to get you started. You can get in your cashmere blanky and read them at the house on one of the 12 couches or the 12 terraces. Or the little room with the big chair and the doors to the jungle garden and the tree trunk side table. That one’s perfect for reading. There’s so much natural light.”

“You’ve been to the house?” Taylor inquired with a one-eyed squint that bordered on a twitch. Christina’s blood pressure skyrocketed. Did he not tell her? What do I say? What do I do? GIVE ME A SIGNAL, she willed Juan, who looked only at his stack of books. THIS IS DRAGGING ON TOO LONG. I MUST ANSWER.

“Yeah, I- I’m just trying to count back how long ago it was,” she said with entirely faked confidence, hoping she’d explained away the pause that felt like an eternity.

“About a month ago,” Juan supplied before clearing his throat. “Have you read them yet? Are they any good?”

“No, but if he’s been publishing them for 40 years there must be people who like to read them,” she shrugged, avoiding whatever expression might be on Taylor’s face.

“Uh, your mom said its time to sit at the table,” the author said, clearly distracted.

“Okay. Thanks for this, Chris. I’ll let you know if this Inspector Alvarez is any good.”

“Welcome.” And sorry for blowing up your spot with Tay Tay. How was I supposed to know she didn’t know I was there? He looks mad, Christina thought as Juan took the folded blanket from between his legs and headed down the hall toward his room, presumably to put his gifts down. Paula took the other stuff back to the living room. Taylor just kind of awkwardly turned around.

“Good job, Prinzessin,” André whispered in his wife’s ear from behind. He listened to the whole exchange while trying to show Lukas how to pedal in the other direction. It amused him greatly. He loved when his former teammate was caught in a fib or an omitted truth, though he did feel slightly sorry for Taylor, as he believed he knew all about everything that happened between Juan and Christina and the author only knew of about half, at most. He felt good knowing he wasn’t being made a fool of that way.

“He didn’t tell me!” the latter hissed. “Do you want to hold the Munchkin in your lap to eat or should I unpack the highchair?”

“He can sit with me. I need his sippy cup though. And I don’t know if I can actually get him out of the car. How does it feel to be upstaged?”

“I actually totally don’t mind,” Christina smiled after spinning around. “If someone gave you some awesome gift you liked better than mine then I would be jealous, but for him, if it makes him happy, I don’t care.”

“So his personal happiness is more important to you than mine? Is that what you’re saying?”

“Yes, babe. Let’s eat. The smell of roast lamb in this joint is like physical torture. And you’re better off putting him in the highchair if you want to eat it instead of wear it.”

The first few courses went nicely, though Juan’s mom set the table up almost as if it were her intention to create tension. She gave André an end seat and Christina the first one on the side so that they could put Lukas’ portable highchair on a seat in between them at the corner and have plenty of room to help him with his food, and so that he wouldn’t get food on anyone else, or be too distracted by strangers to eat. She put Juan to Christina’s left, and then Taylor. She sat across from Christina, with Paula to her right, across from Juan, and Whitney and John in the next two seats. Juan’s aunts and uncles filled in the rest of the spots down to his father at the other end of the long table. The 5 other children were set up on a folding card table between the dining room and the living room so that they could still talk to the adults. The big table was full of stacked plates of different sizes, four glasses per person- one for white wine, one for red, one for water, and another for sidra or soda, open bottles of water and wine, and pretty red and white flowers. Mrs. Mata served a seafood soup first. She had a prawn cocktail for Christina though, because she knew the rider didn’t like anything that started with fish broth. Lukas enjoyed it, however. Then there was sea urchin with some kind of weird hollandaise sauce, served at the same time as braised boar with corn gnocchi, chestnut, apple, and truffle. Then came sea snails with cider cream, onion, and potato, and crispy corncakes with Cabrales cheese. Lukas’ parents had a system going whereby anything suspect went to Dad, anything yummy went to Mom, and anything soft and small went to him.

Everybody talked about football for a while, and Juan’s aunt questioned Christina about how her riding and her horses compared with the “working” equitation school of Spain, which is like doing “cowboy” work but in a fancy, technical way. That conversation happened in Spanish, and lots of other people chimed in. André found it entertaining. He had no idea what anyone was saying, but he could tell Taylor’s parents were uncomfortable as the two sides of the table talked over them in the middle. Then Mrs. Mata served up mini portions of her fabada and Taylor started telling everyone how she offered to make it for Juan when he had a bad cold for a few days earlier in December.

“He told me nobody makes it like Mama and to try is to disappoint and fail,” Taylor laughed while Christina’s eyes got big, her spoon poised to taste the reddish stew. Her tiny bowl had a handful of the giant white beans, and one single-bite-sized piece each of the chorizo, blood sausage, and pork belly. She didn’t really want to eat it but her upbringing dictated that she couldn’t just not have some. She’d realized an hour prior that Lukas was a godsend in that regard, because she could just try a little of whatever she didn’t want and then try to feed it to him instead, since he didn’t get his own servings and his dad was trying to keep his. If he didn’t like it then it could keep going to André and no one was the wiser.

“Didn’t Chris make it for you once?” Mama Mata asked. With the amount of up and down she was doing to tend to things in the kitchen or to serve the food, her seating arrangements were thus far her only attempt to create mischief. “You said it was fantastic.”

“Not as good as yours, I’m sure,” the rider demurred. Is she trying to create a war? She’s too smart to be this oblivious.

“How would you know? You didn’t even eat it.” Juan elbowed her in the side and tried not to smile as she nearly spilled the stew broth on her white shirt. With the amount of paprika and saffron in it, there would be no getting it out. Lukas was triple protected by a small towel tucked into his shirt, a large paper towel, and a conventional bib. His smart clothes would not be ruined. “Are you even eating it now, or are you pretending?”

“Yes I’m eating it! I’m just...saving some for Luke.”

“There is plenty more,” Mrs. Mata assured.

“She’s holding out for tortilla.”

“It’s coming! I serve it with the roast lamb, next. I made it in advance and it probably doesn’t taste as good heated as when it comes right from the pan, but it had to be.”

“I love Chris’ tortilla and she complains that it’s not to the standard as you make, so I’m looking forward to this one,” André interjected. “I like anything with fried potatoes and onions.”

“You like anything with any kind of potatoes,” his wife smiled sweetly at him over Lukas’ head. “You are basically 50% potato today after all the mashed potatoes yesterday.” She stuck her face out in a cute and taunting sort of way, and he leaned over to almost meet it.

“That’s because you bought a giant sack of potatoes and forgot to stop peeling after a normal amount of potatoes and you had to cook all of your peeled potatoes and there were so many that you had to use the lobster pot to boil them,” he replied before kissing the indignant frown that spread across her face. “Now we have to eat mashed potatoes with every meal until New Year’s. Today for breakfast she gives me beautifully poached eggs sitting next to a flattened, black, mushy mashed potato pancake thing.”

“Which you gladly ate,” Christina shot back while cutting up her chorizo for Lukas. He liked all the sausages they had at Christmas Eve dinner.

“How long have you two been married?” Whitney questioned curiously.

“Long enough to have fed him like 900lbs of potatoes in every style one can serve potatoes,” the other expat laughed

“Five and a half years,” the German supplied. I’m going to make everyone uncomfortable, he decided, feeling good about the way Christina behaved with him even in front of Juan and his family. He appreciated that she tried to include him in everything, and she still did or said “cute” things he figured she wouldn’t want the Spaniard to see. The dinner turned out a lot better than he expected. He had to remind himself that there was a time in the recent past when the three of them were together a lot and everything was normal. Christina didn’t go out of her way to shield Juan from their relationship. She made a savoring grunting sound about the Cabrales cheese and the Chelsea player turned to look at her in a way that made the Dortmund man think of their time together spend doing less innocent things. If he could “share” Christina with him in his bed, he could eat dinner with him at his table. “We met 6 years ago in a couple of weeks though, and we almost didn’t get very far beyond that because I didn’t think she would move here from the States just for me. Juan convinced me I had to try. He told me not to let the best thing to happen to me just go back where she came from.”

“I just wanted there to be someone in this building who knows how to cook,” Juan laughed. “He used to live downstairs,” he added as context for those who didn’t know. Christina couldn’t look up from her bowl. She could hear his unbothered comment but she was afraid she would see a different response on his face. André had just brought up Juan’s self-proclaimed biggest regret- that he didn’t make some kind of play for her before his teammate did- and there was no way it wouldn’t have hurt, especially in light of his just having mentioned the length of their marriage. She fed Lukas the little bits of chorizo and refused to look at either of the players, disappointed in one for making a cheap power move, and sympathetic for the other who had to find a way to take the shot without exposing how much it hurt.

The serving of the delicious smelling leg of lamb and the much anticipated tortilla came as a welcome reprieve from that monkey in the middle feeling, but was spoiled by Lukas’ reaction to the spicy sausage. It was just too spicy. He got upset a couple of minutes after swallowing it, and upset turned into tears. He kept opening and closing his mouth and that was how everyone decided it was the chorizo that caused the problem. Plus he turned an alarming shade of red. Paula got him some milk to try to neutralize the heat, but by then the little boy was as upset about being upset as he was about the burning in his throat and tummy. Christina took him, the milk, and a piece of bread to Juan’s room to calm down. At first she was just going to walk around with him until he realized he was out of the stimulating environment of the big dinner party, but when she got to the end of the hall she figured it would be even better if she went into the bedroom and shut the door.

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