#they looked after her and baked her a 400 Echo cake when she was sick and never mentioned the cost. also hijacked a dirigible.

[mourningcandles]

Cornelius/Furnace/PC love triangle subplot is so funny to me because I view all these people as being too much of weirdos to express their feelings in a healthy manner if at all; so they're just all trying to play it cool while looking very uncool about it. thankfully they can be dense as bricks when they feel like it so the matter doesn't come to blows or anything, just unethical science.

[hellfiremaniac]

Some joking Homestuck writing

I, myself, am only around 400 pages in, but making quick progress, and I decided to write some random Homestuck stories using the only 4 characters I could think of. John, Dave, Karkat, and Nepeta (I’ve heard a lot about the second two from my sister (these were written for her)). They definitely won’t make sense with any canon, except certain ways the characters act (maybe, I don’t think I did very well).

I hope you enjoy my 400 pages (and some Pesterquest) worth of information attempting to be made into a reasonable story.

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Dave was just sitting in his room, checking out his blogs and minding his own business, when the loud thuds of knocking echoed down the hallway. He grumpily pulled away from his computer, closing the web page, before making his way to the front door. He didn’t know what he expected, but it wasn’t this.

“...why are you covered in mud?” His friends were standing on his doorstep, leaking very large amounts of mud onto the floor outside his apartment. He turned to look behind him, not seeing Lil Cal anywhere, and hoping that they won’t get mud anywhere that would make Bro angry.

“So, we found a waterfall!” John was the one to answer him, excitement filling his voice. Karkat looked angry, glaring at the blue-eyed boy before staring into the apartment being Dave, looking from puppet to puppet, but not saying anything about them.

“And what does this have to do with me?”

“:33 < We wanna show it to you!” Karkat quickly told Nepeta to shut up, hoping that her loud voice didn’t alert any adults to the three, mud covered, weird looking teenagers in the building.

“…Fine. Just let me leave a note for my bro. He needs to know where I’m going.” Dave quickly scribbled down ‘the dudes showed up and we’re going to see a waterfall. Text me if you need me’, leaving the note sitting on the kitchen counter, and snatching his katana off the couch, unnecessarily leaping over the couch and rolling before standing up in front of the door. “Let’s go.”

He followed the others into the elevator and out of the building, somehow not being stopped by any of the management team for trailing mud everywhere. John rambled to Nepeta the whole time while Dave just walked next to Karkat in silence.

“Where is this waterfall?”

“:33 < Not too far from here.”

“Whatever.” Dave’s voice was uncaring, and the rest of the walk was made in relative silence, with Nepeta occasionally yelling about some animals and plants that she spotted in the forest. Soon, the sound of water rushing reached them, and John darted ahead of the others, stopping at a ledge overlooking the waterfall.

“Look! It’s awesome!” John called out, barely acknowledging the others as they arrived at the cliff.

“EVEN I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT IT IS AMAZING LOOKING. BUT I DON’T CARE TOO MUCH FOR EGGBERT’S YELLING IN AMAZEMENT. OR FOR NEPETA’S SCREAMING JUST TO HEAR IT ECHO.”

“I’m gonna jump from the waterfall.” Dave turned to look at John, trying to keep a blank look on his face.

“Why would you do that?”

“Because I checked online, it says that this is a cliff jumping area. That means it’s safe.”

“:33 < I want to jump too!!”

“This is without a doubt the stupidest thing you've ever done. Count me in.” Dave walked with the two towards the tree line, removing his sneakers and setting them neatly on the ground, followed quickly by his katana, still in its sheath. Karkat watched as they got ready, debating with himself if he should jump too.

“I DON’T THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA. IT COULD BE DANGEROUS.”

“Scared, Vantas?” Karkat glared at Dave after that taunting comment, throwing his shoes at him and pulling off his sweater, revealing a matching black cancer sign, long sleeved shirt.

“NO. AND I’M SO NOT SCARED THAT I’LL JUMP FIRST.” Before any of the others could argue, Karkat dashed towards the edge of the cliff and jumped off, whooping before a loud splashing noise reached their ears, signaling that Karkat made it.

John looked to Nepeta before shrugging, leaping off the cliff while laughing hysterically, Nepeta soon following. Dave shook his head before jumping with them, feeling a rush of adrenaline as he fell through the air, a laugh of excitement escaping him before he hit the water. They all spent the rest of the day walking to the top of the cliff and leaping off, parting ways in the end, all while planning to return with Rose and Jade, who would love it there.

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That was the first day of his friends bothering him. On day two, Dave called John in a panicked hurry, speaking too fast for John to properly hear him.

“OhmygodJohnImesseduptherewerethesecatsandIdontknowhowithappenedohhell.”

“Wait, what? What happened?”

Dave was silent for a second before repeating himself, “I may have accidentally adopted 5 cats, and now I don’t know what to do with them.”

John burst out laughing, “how did you manage that?”

“I don’t know! I was looking at cat photos, and then I was adopting a bunch, and they are arriving later today, and I’m not sure what to do!  Bro hates cats! They’ll attack the puppets!”

“Okay, calm down, just call Nepeta, she’ll gladly keep the cats, she loves all cats.”

Dave let out a relieved sigh, “Thanks, John. I’ll let you know how it goes.”

Hanging up, Dave quickly called Nepeta, “:33 < Dave! :33 < What are you calling for? :33 < Want to help me kidnap Karkat?”

“Hey Nepeta, I’m calling because I – wait, did you just ask me to kidnap Karkat? What are you planning?”

“:33 < Oh nothing, I’m sure your thing is better.”

“…right. Well, I accidentally adopted some cats and I was wondering-“

“:33 < Give me those cats, right now Dave! :33 < I will come for you if you don’t.”

“Calm down, I was going to ask if you want them anyway.”

“:33 < Oh. :33 < In that case, yes, I’ll come as soon as they arrive to take them from you.”

“Cool. There’s that problem solved.”

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The final day was, by far, the strangest of them all. The four of them were down the street at a coffee shop, and Nepeta was trying to convince John to buy her an entire cake, which John was adamantly refusing to do because ‘it will make you sick, Nepeta’ and ‘no, I don’t care if Karkat got one, that’s Dave’s problem, not mine’.

After five minutes of this, Nepeta let out an annoyed huff, “:33 < Fine. :33 < If you won’t get me one, I’ll get myself one.”

“Sure, as long as I – Hey! What are you doing?” By the time John had finished talking, Nepeta had grabbed his wallet and dashed off, causing John to run after her.

“SHOULD WE HELP HIM, OR NOT?”

Dave shrugged, facing Karkat, “Not my problem, he can get his own stuff back.” Karkat nodded in satisfaction, resuming the act of eating his whole cake.

John was running after Nepeta, who had quite a bit of a head start, desperately trying to get his wallet back before Nepeta bought a bunch of stuff or lost it entirely. He saw Rose and Kanaya rounding a corner a few minutes ahead of Nepeta, and yelled as loud as he could, “Catch that cat! It stole my wallet!”

Rose just appeared confused, but when Nepeta went to run past them, Kanaya stuck out her arm and grabbed Nepeta’s arms, managing to hold her still with very little visible effort. John caught up to them and spent a whole minute breathing very heavily while Rose patted him lightly on the back in a strange, almost mechanical way, like she was unsure of her actions, but certain she was meant to be doing it.

John snatched his wallet back from Nepeta, and finally let out a sigh of defeat, “C’mon Nepeta, I’m sure my dad will have a cake for you or be happy to bake you one.”

Nepeta perked up, grabbing John by the arm, “:33 < What are you waiting for? :33 < Let’s go!!” She was quick to start dragging him away as he tried to wave goodbye to their friends, and he soon took the lead, knowing that Nepeta has no clue where his house is.

John’s dad was very happy to make Nepeta as many cakes as she wanted, but she did regret it when she got sick the next day and couldn’t eat cakes for a month.