#they will be sneaking a podcast reference in somewhere next season i fear

[macdenlover]

okay i have a (kind of) realistic macdennis jealousy arc ryan reynolds episode idea :)

so. mac gets a new boyfriend (obviously) who’s this absurdly perfect guy. he’s smart, kind, funny, rich, he’s got a perfect hollywood beefcake body etc etc whatever. you guys get it. so mac introduces him to the gang and everyone’s happy for them but they move on pretty fast to whatever scheme they’re setting up next. except for dennis who is like ummmm???? don’t you guys think somethings weird about that guy???? and the gang is like no???? and now they all think (know) dennis is losing his mind because of this stupid jealous codependency thing he has going with mac. so when they’re no help to him he sneaks around on his own trying to find as much dirt on this guy as he possibly can— breaking into his house, searching his car, getting one of frank’s seedy connections to run a background check. but everything he finds is totally spotless. spotless like every inch in his house was just scrubbed insanely clean and this guy has zero social media presence at all and its weird. and now dennis is convinced this dude is a full blown serial killer. but also dennis is manic and deranged at this point and no one buys it they’re like ugh we get you’re jealous but you don’t need to project onto this guy. then mr perfect boyfriend decides to take mac out on a surprise date and he puts a blindfold on him and drives him to a secret location far away and dennis, like the paranoid jackass he is, decides to follow them. and when they finally get there dennis tries to be all HA! i got you now! mac i’m gonna save you i’m gonna get you out of here but it turns out mac is totally fine and this guy just wanted to introduce mac to his dogs or something idk something pretty innocent. so mac and dennis get into a huge fight there’s jealousy and betrayal and years worth of mac not standing up to dennis finally coming out and while they’re busy yelling at each other BOOM they get beat upside the head with something heavy and they wake up bloody and tied up and blindfolded in this dudes basement because he DID end up being a serial killer. and then that same charmingly funny intonation ryan reynolds does (you know the deadpool voice) gets Very Creepy very fast (sorry i just wanna see him play a killer really bad like some people are so put off by the way he talks and i’d love seeing it subverted like that.. OKAY moving on). anyway they’re STILL fighting because dennis is bragging about how he was able to figure it out when no one else did and mac is like oh my goddd will you shut the fuck uppp!! and now they’re really about to die so dennis confesses his love to mac as one last goodbye and it’s a very sweet moment between them. but THEN! they don’t die because the gang shows up in the last second. and by god do they fucking Destroy this guy. when i say its gruesome i mean its Gruesome okay he’s bleeding out from charlie biting a chunk out of his neck, dee’s stomping on his crotch with her giant wrecking ball feet, frank has a flame thrower for some reason (probably connected to the b story im too lazy to think about) but the point is it’s BADDD. and then they all sit in silence covered in blood on the way back home except for when dennis asks how they knew they were in danger and it’s cause that background check came back and they found out the guy was french.