hmshermitcraft - Tumblr blog

[hmshermitcraft]

been thinking about my Splatoon au and went. What If It Was Skizzpulse. bc in the original idea they're just best friends but,,,, I'm in the mood for gay people tonight. also the original au was inspired by rose_kitty's ranchers-centric Splatoon au, which has ex-agent skizz, so..... yeah!

also they're not in an established romantic relationship in this one. yet

also also this is written by an aroace person idk how crushes work

----

Skizz hasn't been sleeping well.

He doesn't know why.

Actually, that's a lie- he does know why, but he thought he got over it years ago! And yet, he's on his third day with about three hours of sleep in total, having woken up from night terrors he doesn't remember and then being unable to fall back asleep. And just because he doesn't remember them doesn't mean he doesn't know what they were about. Images of dead Octarians and Octolings haunt him on the daily. Even more after he learned they hadn't been attacking of their own free will. His roommate notices, of course. On the first day after the night terrors (re)started, he got some playful teasing from Impulse, who was unaware of why Skizz didn't sleep. On the second, there was genuine concern. And now it's the third day, and Skizz is pretty sure he's about to be subject to an intervention.

This is proven correct when Impulse practically ambushes him when he gets home, drags him to his own bed (his own, not Skizz's(!!! (skizz should probably be feeling less Emotions about this)), forces him to lay down, gets Kevin(bubblesmalonerefrigeratorjimmymadeyedugan(espacitoappleseed)) the mudpuppy to lay on top of him so he can't move, and then asks, "What's up with you?"

For some reason, that's all it takes for Skizz to cave. And, yes, Impulse put aside his own distaste for physical affection in order to cuddle skizz until he fell asleep (and stayed asleep), but no, that did not make Skizz feel any particular way! His hearts did not beat faster at the physical proximity, thank you very much! And he definitely didn't spend the next few days thinking about how caring Impulse is, willing to go through discomfort just to make his friends feel better...

Impulse just listened. He didn't interrupt Skizz, or try and comfort him, just made the appropriate noises when Skizz expected them (he didn't even realise he was expecting them!)

And he slept. Not peacefully, but not fitfully, either. Because every time he woke up, Impulse was drooling by his side and Kevin was lying across his front. He could feel Kevin breathe, or watch Impulse's chest rise and fall. And he fell back asleep, every single time.

How can he not think about it? What did he do to deserve such kindness?

Impulse would probably hit him for thinking that about himself too. Ugh! What a stupid, kind idiot.

[hmshermitcraft]

(not for the theme)

Etho is a shapeshifter, one who can switch from form to form like water. However, the main limitation on his power is that he can Only shift into, specifically, members of the canidae family (canines). Most people realize this means wolves and dogs and such, and people connect the dots to realize that he can also shift into types of foxes quickly, but some of the specifics get lost in translation (aka etho's quiet nature). Nonetheless, often times it's easier to be an animal rather than human - means he doesn't have to speak, for one. being human is DIFFICULT sometimes, and etho gets overwhelmed! easier to calm down by loping throguh the forest as a red/gray wolf or silver fox than sticking it out where he is.

Joel is a tanuki hybrid. One who holds traits of his species at all times (ears and a tail, generally), but can also shift into a small truly animalistic form. A tanuki - or, more scientifically known, the japanese raccoon dog. A canine!

after Joel realizes that Etho can Also shift into a tanuki, there are times when Etho is overwhelmed or grumpy and has decided that now is Now the time to be human, joel will shift to his tanuki form and just.

stare at etho, who is curled up as a gray wolf or arctic fox (the two species he feels safest as, generally) until he shifts to match Joel, and they can communicate to each other without etho having to shift back to human.

no matter how grumpy they pretend to be about it, they can't deny how happy it makes them - on joel's part, that he can help Etho feel better, and on etho's that he has someone there for him no matter what.

it's not uncommon for them to, when they stay over at each other's bases, wake up with one or the other (occasionally both) shifted.

also god help me i have put Too much thought into like. so many different specific species of canine and how etho would feel about shifting into them and therefore have done a TON of research on them. i know so much about random ass canines

Even when Etho doesn't shift into tanuki mode (as Joel affectionately calls it) immediately, they find ways to communicate. Sometimes it's cute nudging, others it's rolling around in the mud.

Which is all fine until a tired Gem picks them both up and puts them in a bath.

[hmshermitcraft]

Joel Beans is an actor. He's one of those celebrities who just can't sing. He's a great actor, he can dance alright, and he's really good at writing songs, but he just cannot sing them.

Lizzie Shadow is a singer. She has nothing to write songs about. She's usually great, when she has the inspiration, but right now, her life is pretty boring. She's not been in a relationship for a while, and she's not been looking for one.

Until she met Joel. Joel felt the same, if he were to be honest, but why would he?

When they start dating, of course, she releases a new album with his writing all over it. She did write a good handful of them herself, obviously, now that she has something (or, rather, someone) to write about.

- 💜

There's plenty of songs they wrote that didn't made it into the album too. Like 'Joel get out of the bathroom it's been an hour'. Or 'Lizzie your cheeks are so cute (I won't specify which)'.

They're keeping the best songs for themselves, naturally.

[hmshermitcraft]

Bit of a strange request, but some friends of mine in a Discord server have gotten really into MumboxScott (they call it Redstone Snap). Could you do something for them?

(Also if I’ve asked you this already I’m very sorry, my memory is terrible XD)

Mumbo has been a tech for years. He's worked with a lot of people, big egos, icons, those who shot to fame overnight.

None have caught his attention as much as Scott. Or, Mumbo caught Scott's attention, because the guy keeps finding Mumbo. Before shows, after shows. And he's always so sweet, nothing like the persona he plays on stage.

Mumbo doesn't want this tour to end.

[hmshermitcraft]

ren and martyn are an idol duo that’s just starting out. they have a small, dedicated fanbase that’s growing slowly but surely.

they’re shocked when lizzie wants to work with them, considering she’s one of the most popular idols ever. they accept, of course, and one thing leads to another and they’re practically a trio.

it’s a big debate between their fans on exactly who’s the third wheel. the answer is none of them! lizzie’s got two hands, after all.

Lizzie knows talent when she sees it, and these guys have it in heaps! She's having far more fun as part of a trio!

Plus the two are very affectionate (in their own silly ways.)

[hmshermitcraft]

The conflict between the kingdom of Dawn and the Dusk empire was well recorded in the history books.

After a hundred year war between them they signed a peace treaty. Except, the kingdom of Dawn after several generations welcomed its current ruler. A monarch whose hubris was higher than the castle they lived in, declared war once again.

To avoid another war, the Dusk Empire sent their youngest as a hostage. Pearl was about ten years old when she was thrown into the unknown. Thankfully, the monarch of Dawn didn't seem to care much about her but still they left her to fend for herself.

She lived in the streets for weeks, months, she couldn't remember. She only remembers the day it all ended, a girl about the same age as her decided to take her home. The girl lived in a mansion, younger Pearl would probably say a castle if she wasn't royalty. It was odd, being treated like she was back at home in this unfamiliar place. She later learned that the girl that helped her was Gem and that her father was a duke.

It wasn't until their teens that the two realised the truth of Pearl's situation. Pearl wasn't a baby when she was kicked out, but it was still hard to understand why. She knew she had a loving home, and then she didn't.

Gem was furious.

She'd taken a lot of interest in politics and history (her parents wished for her to take up embroidery, and she loves nothing more than being contrary.) Through that, she'd learnt of the war and the more recent developments. Gem dug for a copy of the newest treaty - because of course it's displayed proudly.

Well. Gem could start a war if she wanted to, because Pearl was not cared for following the terms outlined in the treaty. She was supposed to be cared for within the castle and treated with the love of the Dawn Kingdom's own children.

It's not hard to prove that didn't happen.

But what would that mean for Pearl?

When they're older, they'll decide what to do. Gem will keep her ear to the ground for more questioning. Right now, though, she's gonna give Pearl all the childhood she missed.

[hmshermitcraft]

constantly in need of skizzpulse im like Hollow from scavengers reign but with skizzpulse instead of. well. yaknow

Impulse and Skizz are happy living out of the limelight. The pair work as crew, going from production to production. They've worked for big stars and small stage shows. Most importantly, they're a package deal. You don't get one without hiring the other. And why would you want to? They work great together!

There's a reason their schedule is so booked. It's a good job their van comfortably fits them (and their pets!)

[hmshermitcraft]

Scott and Pearl are an idol duo. Their fame has been consistently growing since their debut, and the fans are starting to get out of hand. So they get bodyguards.

Scott hires Jimmy and Martyn while Pearl hires Gem and Cleo.

And then they realize that they've hired people who are exactly their type, Scott with charming blondes and Pearl with snarky redheads.

If the public finds out about this... Oh boy.

Gem and Cleo are incredibly professional. Pearl would say infuriatingly so, because why can't she go to the corner shop at 2AM in a shady part of town on her own?!

(Cleo's stare could have felled kings.)

It makes the 'love' conversation an awkward one, but one they get to eventually.

Scott and Martyn? They hit it off instantly. Scott at one point forgot Martyn was his bodyguard until the guy suddenly took down somebody that was swinging for Scott. Most of their time is spent flirting, it just so happens Martyn is great at working whilst he does it.

[hmshermitcraft]

Ariana Griande is a superstar of an idol, the kind it's next to impossible not to have heard of... So someone explain to her why the clerk at her local bank has no clue who she is. At first Grian assumes maybe he just doesn't recognise him out of costume? Ariana requires a lot of makeup after all. But Mr mumbo jumbo genuinely has no idea who Ariana Griande even is. Sure it's on the radio in the bank as they speak, but he's not paying attention to that, he's focusing on helping this shockingly wealthy young man with his finances.

Naturally this sets Grian off, and Mumbo starts getting free tickets to Ariana's shows, and even free merch shipped to his door. Mumbo still hasn't connected the dots between Ariana and Grian, but he figures he may as well show up. And... He's not that into pop music, but he's pretty sure the woman on stage is an angel of some form.

So he's happy to keep his merch, although he still doesn't realise that the pretty young man at the bank is the same as the jawdroppingly gorgeous woman on stage. And now Grian gets a healthy taste of how his stans feel, when he's desperate for this random losers attention, but unable to actually say it to his face.

It's, arguably, a much needed snap back to reality. He's grown so unused to people not being infatuated with him, not having to work to get their approval. Usually he just needs to let the fame do the talking.

Maybe this is a sign. To fall in love with someone, to not simply be loved for his fame. For somebody to love Grian and not just Griande.

If only he could remember how ordinary people love works!

[hmshermitcraft]

Stress already has to deal with a lot of badmouthing from people because she didn't make the mistake her mother did and run a kingdom by herself. She has advisors, planners, coordinators, people to help.

She even has a consort. Grian's very eager to please, even in ways that aren't in the job description. Always quick to get her those really good muffins from the bakery. Even quicker to drop to his knees. A good boy, through and through

He has a knack at knowing what she needs. Whether that's a cup of tea, or just a break. She knows her parents would be aghast, but really, they could be jealous. She doesn't know how she got lucky enough to find Grian. She makes sure he knows how much she appreciates him every day.

[hmshermitcraft]

Katherine is a princess, she's supposed to marry a prince, she's supposed to love a prince. But she just can't bring herself to, no matter what prince she meets. Her head is filled with thoughts of a certain pirate and a certain witch. She's trying, really, she is. But they're so endearing, even with all the arguements and jealousy and competitions.

They're both just amazing in their own ways. Sure, Joey used to steal things for her but he's stopped. Started giving her heartfelt, endearing gifts. And he's so strong, and pretty. Shelby on the other hand, is so cute and sweet. She's so mysterious in Katherine's perspective. She should like a prince, not a pirate, not a witch, certainly not both.

Princes are... Well, she's sure there's some interesting ones out there. Somewhere. Perhaps. Maybe if she kept looking she'd find one eventually, but how long would she need to search?

Especially when her heart is already set on others.

If only she could make her family see that this will be good for them. Imagine how much knowledge two so very different people would bring. They'd both be able to protect her (not that she needs protecting, but for the sake of argument) and they'd be able to do even more royal duties!

Or maybe she just needs to do this. Take something for herself, for once, grab it with both hands. What says she has to marry a prince? Tradition? Politics? Katherine has never cared for those, otherwise she wouldn't be out slaying monsters at night.

She just needs to take the leap.

[hmshermitcraft]

Pearl's kingdom was never the most fond of magic. While she herself was quite receptive to the idea of magical beings or users, majority of her citizens were still fearing another magic-induced disaster, and in turn, magic.

One day, a young lady is brought to her. Her guards claim that she's a shapeshifter, having begun shifting in the middle of the town square and taking a group effort to subdue.

Pearl knows the general consensus was to sentence her. But a single look of the lady's face tells her everything: she hadn't meant for that to happen. So instead, she asks her to become her personal aide, both to see her true intentions and to monitor her.

She learns the lady's name, Gem. Gem is beyond grateful for Pearl's request, knowing that otherwise, she'd be dead. The two women grow close quickly and become nigh inseparable. While it took some of the royal family a significant amount of time to process that the Queen has just fallen in love with a shapeshifter, seeing how happy the duo are together discussing plans for the kingdom's future tells them that this is the right choice.

(and turns out dating a shapeshifter leads to a few wild nights together, Pearl learnt A LOT)

Pearl, similarly, won't tolerate any disrespect for her wife, or her wife's kind. It's time to move past the idea that anybody possessing magic should be responsible for the actions of a few. If that is the case, why don't they arrest everybody in the kingdom just in case they might commit a crime?

Gem being her wonderful self helps too. She's just so kind, always making people feel like they're the only one in the room. Pearl finds herself just watching, amazed at how much she can love someone. Gem doesn't even realise how perfect she is - she's just like this. Happily crouching down to allow a child to pet a furry ear.

The kingdom is going to grow so much stronger now they're together.

[hmshermitcraft]

The two were sat on a balcony.

Actually, it wasn’t a balcony anymore, it once was one, but now it’s just a big pile of rubble spilling out of the Crastle.

Behind them, the king laid dead. And the orb of its soul was now being - literally- juggled by Hypno.

XB observed him it toss around. As if the two weren’t gravely injured from the explosion. The orb glinted in the morning light.

“Please don’t drop that thing” XB chuckled “Void knows what it will do”

Hypno smirks “don’t worry, I got it.”

He tossed it up and down a couple more times, then put it inside the folds of his torn ball robe, that was, at the start of the night, a pleasant khaki shade, but now was a weird dusty orange-ish yellow due to all the debris and blood stains.

“By the way, guess what” XB leaned against Hypno’s shoulder, ignoring the dried blood splatters peppering it.

“What?” Hypno laid his head on top of XB’s.

XB reached into his own tattered tailcoat and pulled out two whole bottles of champagne.

Hypno’s eyes widened.

“How have you managed to do that?!”

XB smirks “I have my ways”

“And that is why I love you” Hypno said, gladly accepting one of the bottles.

The two popped them open at the same time, the sound shooting through the silence.

“For freedom?” Hypno suggested

“For freedom.” XB smiles.

He pulls Hypno into a kiss, the other leaning into it gently.

And it’s just them.

Kissing in the middle of the rubble.

And the gold and pink sunrise.

And the king is gone.

And it’s quiet.

Tomorrow, they get back to work. There's a lot of things that need organising in the wake of a dead king. If they don't do it, somebody worse will.

But tonight, they drink champagne. They stumble inside, leaning against each other and fall asleep within the two and a half walls.

[hmshermitcraft]

(For the theme)

Gem and the Scotts are a very popular band, everyone knows them! What most people don't know is the people they go home to every night.

Scott always heads home to Martyn, who will bother him endlessly about how good he did that night! Scott doesn't know why playing the guitar is such a big deal.

Impulse, on the other hand, has three partners who congratulate him. Skizz sometimes makes him cookies too! Although sometimes Tango and Zed are still at work, but they get cookies when they get home too.

And Gem gets to go home to a wonderfully quiet apartment, because Pearl is always already asleep.

-Robin

Keeping their personal lives as separate from their public ones was a decision they made at the start of their career, and one that they're thankful for. They never expected to get this popular, and it's a relief their partners aren't caught up in it all.

Zedaph would simply die with that much popularity. None of them want that on their conscience.

[hmshermitcraft]

Ariana Griande is a very popular singer… Mumbo personally never listened to her much, but Grian seemed to like her, always mentioning whenever she was on tour, new songs… so he got him tickets to her concert for his birthday!

…

What do you mean you're Ariana, Grian-

Grian, answer the question. No, stop laughing! Okay, yes, 'it's literally in the name' but what do you mean-

Grian does not stop laughing. The joys of a chronically offline boyfriend.

[hmshermitcraft]

Gem wasn't expecting to turn into a siren this season, but it's great. She can breathe underwater, see in the dark, and not to mention her singing voice is great now.

Her one problem with her new origin is that she gains the features of whoever the person she's making eye contact with is in love with.

Talking to Etho, her hair will change from ginger to Bdubs' brown and white, and she starts sprouting little white feathers when with Impulse.

Strangely, when Pearl is nearby, she never seems to change, and it both concerns and confuses her. Is her power broken? Has her origin changed? And why does she feel weird every time the postmaster comes by?

Pearl must have something to do with this, she should probably look into it further...

-🌻

She feels like Pearl would tell her if she were aro, right? But, Gem isn't entitled to have Pearl come out like that. What if she's uncomfortable and Gem is going to force her into admitting it! Ugh, this is such a conundrum.

(Meanwhile, Pearl is busy deciding how to ask Gem out because she's sure the lack of appearance changing has given her crush away! She gives Gem far too much credit.)

[hmshermitcraft]

This Week's Theme is: idols/celebrities

Fame and fortune often come with plenty of attention, but can the hermits find love amongst the fanfare?