#they’re like you know what Eddie. yeah. you SHOULD heat up cold pizza in a sauce pan with water

[housewifebuck]

I just feel like Eddie is one of those dads who sees clickbait “tutorials” and “recipes” on Instagram and takes them at face value and then winds up cleaning his toilet with coca cola

[aclockmaker]

yet more f/f steve/eddie (part 1) (part 2)

cw drug use; rating: E overall, M for this part

In the cold light of morning all of her revelations seem a little less obvious. So she got off to something—that doesn’t mean she needs to make a—lifestyle change. 

Jesus Christ at that thought; she’s really not equipped for this. She needs to talk to Robin, except the thought of that is so humiliating that maybe she should, instead, just leave town forever. Robin is going to fry her.

Except she’s not. Thinking that is just an excuse, because Robin’s always solid when Steve needs her to be, and this probably counts. Robin would probably be proud of her, which would somehow make Steve feel—guilty, like she didn’t earn it, for basically just being a perv of a different variety.

She wants to see Eddie, if she’s being honest, but can’t tell how bad of an idea that is or isn’t. 

Can I get an eighth, she finally texts at 9pm without letting herself overthink it. Or think it through whatsoever. She didn’t see Eddie today—she had school and Steve had work.

Hello to you too, Eddie texts back. And then: We’ve talked about this… code words 

Okay can I get a piece of pizza 🙄 

Delivery girl at your service, queen bee. Your place?

Thank uuuuuu, Steve texts, just to be annoying. Her parents left today so that’s fine. Plus that way she’s got home court advantage, for whatever it’s worth.

Eddie doesn’t even always make her pay for it; it depends on her mood, the weather, whether she wants to smoke up at the same time, the alignment of the stars, probably. Steve’s pretty sure they have the same sleeping problem, although they haven’t talked about it. 

There’s a lot they haven’t talked about.

Steve halfway expects her to be different, when she comes over, but she’s just like usual, swinging inside and bringing her own little whirlwind with her, backpack she uses as a purse on and the old-fashioned lunch box she deals out of on one arm. “Hi, Harrington, long time no see,” she says, which, Steve’s not sure if that’s a joke she’s not supposed to get or if Eddie just feels that yesterday is a long time to go without seeing Steve.

Steve certainly knows exactly when they saw each other last. It was when you sent me into a sexuality crisis with an offhand remark, she doesn’t remind Eddie. “I guess, hey,” she says, lamely. “What’s up, come in.” Even though Eddie’s already taking off her shoes, revealing socks with a small hole on top of one of her toes. It’s kind of cute, Steve thinks, because she’s totally fucked. Eddie is wearing basically her usual uniform, tight, ripped jeans, slouchy oversized top that’s falling off one shoulder so Steve can see collarbone, no bra (she, like—can’t help noticing even in a non-perv way, the same way she unconsciously clocks the outfits of all her girl friends, just out of interest) but plenty of necklaces, the guitar pick front and center.

“Your parents are gone?” Eddie checks. It’s far from the first time she’s been over here under these same circumstances, although on one memorable occasion, with both their parental figures home and awake, the two of them had met up behind the high school in the middle of the night to get high. 

“Yeah, they left today. Somewhere.” They’d told her but Steve’s mind was elsewhere. 

“Cool, um, your room?” Eddie asks, glancing around, waiting for Steve to get with the program. “Outside?” If she’s asking she probably wants to smoke, which is—good or bad. Definitely one or the other.

“Oh—my room,” Steve says, feeling a step behind even worse than usual with her. Sure. Her room, where she touched herself less than 24 hours ago thinking about—absolutely nothing that she wants to think about right now, that’s for sure, cheeks already heating up. God, Harrington, get it together. 

It’s just Eddie, leading the way up the stairs like she owns the place because she has no manners. As ever. There’s nothing to freak out about. As long as Steve doesn’t think, she’ll be fine. Thank god they’re about to smoke, and not just because last night going to sleep sober sucked, earth-shattering orgasm notwithstanding. 

Although possibly she should blame that on the overthinking she was doing and not on the lack of drug use. Either way—not thinking about it.

Eddie makes herself comfortable on the edge of Steve’s bed and unpacks her supplies. “Is this fine?” she asks, holding out a small handful of pre-rolls for Steve’s approval.

“Oh, yeah, whatever’s fine,” Steve says, taking the desk chair and willing herself to be normal. “Shouldn’t you be, like, weighing it? How do you make any money?”

Eddie rolls her eyes and blows her bangs out of them. “I don’t, off you, considering you don’t pay me half the time.”

Steve’s eyes go wide. “What—I do always offer! Do you want me to—to pay you for—“ Steve knew she should’ve insisted—

“Jesus, I’m just messing with you, Harrington,” Eddie says, smiling around the joint she’s popped between her lips and lighting up. “We’re friends, remember?” A little purr to her voice that immediately raises Steve’s hackles.

“Whatever, I know,” Steve says, even though the only thing she knows is that she’s pouting and it’s going to make Eddie laugh at her even more. Eddie just passes her the joint, though, and they make a cursory effort to blow the smoke out the window.

Eddie crosses the room to perch on the windowsill where she’s closer to Steve and peeks into the yard. “You ever swim out there?”

“Not really,” Steve says. The answer is never, but she doesn’t want to talk about dead girls or monsters.

“Kind of a waste,” Eddie says, giving Steve the kind of up and down that wouldn’t have been anything two days ago and now feels like flames licking through her blood. Steve hadn’t dressed—sexy, for this meetup, or anything, but all her clothes are kind of designed to show off her assets so she knows the sweats and thin tee aren’t not working for her when she shifts a little in her seat. Eddie doesn’t blatantly check out her rack, but it’s a near thing. Steve is so going to win—whatever prize is at stake here, she’s lost track a bit. She’s stoned, actually, it hits her suddenly, the walls of the room feeling far away and Eddie suddenly seeming much, much closer. In reality, they’re just close enough to pass the joint back and forth easily, which they do, falling into a dumb  conversation about nothing just like usual.

“Are you good?” Eddie asks after a while, and it takes Steve a minute to understand what she’s asking. Did she get what she wanted, is she high. 

“Oh—yeah, thanks. I mean—thanks for coming over, and everything.” She sounds like an idiot to her own ears, so it must be even worse from Eddie’s side, but Eddie isn’t laughing at her. Instead, she’s gone a little serious, big brown doe eyes in full effect, the way she sometimes gets when she smokes. Not somber, or anything, but on the quiet side, which, for her, is a big difference, because she normally never shuts the fuck up.

“No problem,” Eddie says, and blinks at her. And then—she’s shaking her head a little like she’s trying to clear it and standing, like she means to go, and Steve just feels—

“Don’t, I didn’t mean you have to go. Don’t go yet.” 

“Oh,” Eddie says. She’s in her stocking feet in the middle of Steve’s bedroom, and she’s almost as tall as Steve but she looks small just then and it makes Steve feel absolutely out-of-her-mind crazy with protectiveness. Because it’s way worse than she thought. She doesn’t only want to fuck Eddie. She likes her.

[nblesbianbenhanscom]

43+45 for kaspbroughzier or streddie

anon! hello! a million years later, and your fic is ready! are you even still here? i hope so ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

*

i had to go with the kasproughzier cause i love those goofs and also sonia is the perfect no, really you don’t want to meet my family.

the prompts were ‘trust me, you don’t want to meet my family’ + ‘you may technically be an adult, but you are still my child.’

***

read it on ao3

Little Dashes of Doom

“Eh-Eddie, your phone is r-ringing,” Bill says. It’s the tenth time in the last half hour.

“Just turn it off, Bill. I’m not going to answer it.” Eddie doesn’t look up from his computer.

“Buh-But it’s your ma.”

“I know, Bill. I already told her when I was coming home. She can chill.” He sounds tired, and Bill just wants to wrap him up in a blanket and make him relax between him and Richie. This semester had really kicked all of their asses.

Bill watches the phone as it stops ringing. It dings a moment later with a voicemail. Bill picks it up and turns it off. He kisses Eddie’s hair as he sits it on the table next to him.

“H-How’s the puh-aper coming?” Bill asks as he opens up the fridge. Bill himself had just finished his own last final just a few hours before.

“I hate fucking Shakespeare,” Eddie growls.

“Th-That good, eh?”

Eddie doesn't respond while Bill looks through the fridge. He finds a beer and heads to the couch where Richie is playing on their shared Switch. His legs are spread awkwardly, one up and over the back of the couch, the other hanging down by the floor. Bill sits in between his legs, pulling Richie’s leg into his lap.

“Hey, babycakes, you ok?” Richie asks without looking up.

“I’m ok.” Bill takes a sip of his beer. “You ok?”

“Yeah, fine. Why wouldn’t I be? Shit! I just fucking died!” He sighs and lets the Switch fall to his chest. “What are we doing for food?”

“We have l-leftover p-pizza,” Bill says.

Groaning, Richie sits up and tugs himself closer to Bill with his legs. He leans close and kisses Bill’s neck.

“I am so tired of pizza.” Richie scrapes his teeth against Bill’s chin. “Maybe I’ll just have you for dinner. How does that sound?” They giggle and Eddie huffs from the kitchen.

“Ugh, rude of you to start without me,” Eddie grouses, but there’s no real heat to his words.

Bill and Richie giggle again.

“S-Sorry, E-Eddie!”

“We were just discussing dinner.” Richie kisses Bill’s neck again.

Giggling, Bill pushes him away. “Shhh… St-Stop.”

Richie just pulls him closer and they giggle again.

“If I fail my final, it will be all your faults!” Eddie yells.

“Wh-What d-do you want for d-dinner?” Bill asks.

Eddie is silent for a minute. “Surprise me.”

Bill turns and kisses Richie. “We’re guh–nna go p-pick up dinner.”

“We are?” Richie asks. Bill nods. He holds his hand out and Richie takes it. They go to the door, tug on their coats and boots. It’s cold outside, but Bill just holds tightly to Richie’s hand.

“Where to, Big B?” Richie asks after they’ve climbed in the car.

Bill shrugs. “I don’t care.” He thinks for a minute. “Wh-Where do you—”

“I already told you what I wanted.” Richie winks.

Leaning back against the passenger seat headrest, Bill smiles at him. “Ok, b-but like a-actual food, Richie.”

“Ugh, you’re no fun,” Richie says. They talk for a few more minutes and end up going to the local diner. They get pancakes, fries, salad, and pie. Sometimes Eddie has trouble eating when he’s stressed, and they want to make sure to get him something he’ll eat.

When they get back, Eddie’s computer and his books are in a neat stack. The bathroom door is closed and they can hear him screaming at someone.

“I am working on my finals, mommy!” Eddie screams. Richie and Bill hesitate in the doorway. They look at each other but creep in. It’s been a while since Eddie had gone off like this. When they’d first met him a few years back, he’d yelled a lot more. Richie liked to tease that he was a feral chihuahua until Eddie’d absolutely lost it and tried to beat Richie up. It hadn’t gone well; Richie was so much taller than him and he had just pulled him into a hug, apologies sliding off his tongue. He promised to never do it again. After that, there were less and less explosions until there were none.

“No! No! You listen! I’m doing my work. I’ll be home in three days. Three! You have my–” Eddie pauses. “Please, would you just–”

Richie puts the food on the table and Bill clears away Eddie’s school work.

“God damnit, mom! They are not my roommates, they are my boyfriends. We have been over and over–” Another pause. “Well maybe I won’t come home then!” There’s another pause followed by a loud banging sound and then Eddie begins to sob.

Bill and Richie look at each other as they sit there listening to Eddie cry and yell at himself. Bill can’t quite make out everything he’s saying, but he knows it’s not good. He hears things like pussy, and coward, and little bitch. Things that he’d been told his whole life. Things Bill had thought he’d worked through.

Bill had apparently been wrong.

“I’m gonna go get him,” Richie says, and gets up. Bill catches his hand, and shakes his head. They sigh.

“Wuh–ne m-more m-minute.” He swallows hard. Richie sits back down slowly. Bill hates this just as much as Richie, but he doesn’t want to push Eddie too hard.

Slowly, Eddie’s sobs lessen. Bill wants to get up and go to him, but still he hesitates. Richie leans into his space and rests his head on Bill’s shoulder.

“Can we go get him now?” Richie asks.

Bill licks his lips. He’s about to say yes when they hear the bathroom door open, and Eddie sees them as soon as he looks up.

“Oh,” he says softly. His eyes are red and puffy. He swallows hard several times. “I-I–” And then tears fill his eyes, and his face crumbles, and Richie and Bill go to him, pull him close and let him cling to them as he cries.

“It’s ok, Eddie, we’ve got you,” Richie murmurs into his hair. “We’ve got you.”

“L-Let it out, b-baby,” Bill whispers.

Eddie’s fingers dig into Bill’s shirt as he sobs. His whole body is shaking and Bill wishes he could find Sonia Kaspbrak and give her a piece of his mind, but he tries to push these thoughts away as he kisses Eddie’s hair.

They sit on the couch, and it takes a long time for Eddie to calm down. Even after he’s stopped crying, he still clings to them. He whines when Richie pulls away.

“I’ll be back, my love, just going to get you some water,” Richie says as Eddie grips his shirt hem.

“But I–” Eddie’s hoarse, and Bill can’t help but feel sorry for him.

“I-It w-will help,” Bill says. He reaches out and pulls Eddie’s hand free. “It will help.” Slowly, Eddie lets go and lets Bill lace their fingers together. He leans back into Bill and closes his eyes.

After Eddie drinks his water, he looks around at them with heavy sad eyes. He’s cradled between them, both of them pushing into his space.

“I’m–I’m sorry,” Eddie says.

“What for, love?” Richie asks. He strokes Eddie’s hair, kisses his temple.

“Because I–Because I’m such a freaking mess,” Eddie whispers.

“Yo-You’re n-not a m-mess.” Bill kisses Eddie behind his ear and Eddie’s eyelashes flutter a little.

“Your mom is a fucking cunt,” Richie says.

Bill frowns at him. Eddie usually freaks whenever someone says something bad about his mom.

“Yeah, she is,” Eddie says. 

Bill and Richie make shocked noises. Bill squeezes him.

“I’m just so tired of her. She’s...” His voice waivers and takes a deep breath. “I have to use the bathroom.” Eddie gives them each a kiss before he gets up.

Once the door is closed, Richie looks at Bill, scowling.

“What the fuck is that bitch’s problem?” Richie growls.

“I d-don’t kn-know.” Bill sighs. He scoots closer to Richie. “I h-hate her so much. It’s been s-such a l-long t-time si-since–”

“Yeah, he’s been doing so good.” Richie huffs. “I just wish I could meet that bitch just one time so I could–”

“Trust me, you don’t want to meet my mom,” Eddie says. Richie and Bill jump, neither of them had heard the toilet flush. “C’mon. I’m hungry.”

Sharing glances, Richie and Bill get up and follow Eddie into the kitchen. He’s sitting at the table, pulling the food out of the bag and frowns at the fries.

“Aww, fuck, they’re cold.” Eddie’s lip trembles a little. “I’m sorry. I should have waited to call. I just finished my final and I–”

“N-No, b-baby. It’s ok. Th-The fries w–ill heat up,” Bill says.

“Yeah,” Richie agrees. “That’s why God invented microwaves, right?” He picks up the container and throws it in, pushing buttons quickly. “See? It’s fine.”

Sniffling, Eddie wrinkles his nose. “Nuked fries taste so gross.”

“I think we got some cheese and Ranch. That will help.” Richie goes to the fridge as Eddie looks at the rest of the food and looks up at Bill.

“You two are the best, do you know that?” Eddie asks. Richie kisses his hair as he wraps his arms around Eddie’s shoulders.

“N-No you,” Bill says.

Wrapping his fingers around Richie’s forearms, Eddie kisses his inner arm. “I love you both so much.”

“We love you, too.” Richie pulls away as the microwave beeps.

After they eat, they curl up on the couch to watch TV. They’re all crossed limbs and elbows in stomachs and pulled hair, but they don’t really care. Eddie just lets the others hold him close, pet his hair, kiss him.

“Are you doing better?” Richie asks after a bit. Eddie shrugs.

“Wh-What happened?” Bill asks.

Eddie shrugs again. “Just the usual. I finished my paper like right after you left, so I decided to call her before she called the police like she did that one time, and she said since I was done with my finals that I needed to come home right away. When I said I want to stay with you two, that my ticket is nonrefundable or exchangeable, she said she didn’t care about the cost, that she’d pay and…” He sighs. “She just wouldn’t listen. She kept saying, ‘You may be an adult, but you’re still my child.’” He huffs. “I’ve been financially independent from that old bag for over a year. She has no right to say shit like that to me any more.”

“N-No, she doesn’t,” Bill agrees.

“Honestly, she never should have talked to you that way, ever,” Richie says. Eddie leans a little closer to him. He plays with the strings on Bill’s hoodie.

“I know,” Eddie whispers.

Bill can hardly believe what he’s hearing. His heart fills with pride and he pulls Eddie’s legs into his lap and cups Eddie’s face in his hands before kissing him so, so gently. When they pull apart, Bill pushes his forehead into Eddie’s forehead. 

“L-Love you,” Bill whispers. When he pulls back, Richie presses his own kiss into Eddie’s temple.

“You know, you don’t have to go,” Richie says. “You can come home with us.”

“O-Or we c-could go wi-with you,” Bill says.

Eddie shakes his head. “It will be ok.”

Sighing, Richie shakes his head, no. “You shouldn’t have to deal with her alone. Let us come with you.”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that,” Eddie murmurs.

“Y-You d–idn’t. We’re t-telling you. We’re coming wi–th you,” Bill says. Richie smiles at Bill.

“You really don’t–”

“Eds, you may as well give it up. We’re coming with you, and if your mom can’t deal, well, fuck her, and we’ll leave early.” Richie pauses. “In fact, plan on it. We’ll all have to change our tickets, call our families, but we’ll split up the break evenly. It will be fun.”

“We can’t afford that!” Eddie protests.

“Y-Yes we c-can! I just got p-paid for th–at piece I wrote a why-while back,” Bill says.

“No, Bill, you were going to use that for a new computer!” Eddie says.

“I’ll j-just st-steal yours.” Bill strokes his arm.

“You’re ridiculous,” Eddie murmurs, but there’s a small smile on my face. He sighs and leans into Richie. “You guys are the best, do you know that?”

“N-No, you.” Bill laces their fingers together.

“Yeah, spaghetti, you’re the best.” Richie kisses his hair.

Eddie closes his eyes, and settles back.

“We d-don’t have to m-make any d-decisions tonight,” Bill says. “W-We can t-talk t-tomorrow.”

“Ok,” Eddie says. He sighs again and sits up. “You guys wanna do something?”

“Like what?” Richie asks.

“Play Mario Kart?”

“Only if you don't cry when I kick your butt!" Richie says as he pulls himself free and gets up to set up the Switch. Eddie scoots around and leans into Bill's side.

"Yeah, we'll see who cries, Tozier!" Eddie teases.

Bill knows it is a toss-up between the two; they are both really good. It's Bill that's going to be the loser, but he doesn't really care. He's terrible at video games, but he loves being with his boyfriends. 

He sits there listening to them argue about who is the worst player and waits to be handed a controller. He loves listening to them bicker like this, and he knows Eddie bickering is a good sign. Licking his lips, Bill leans into Eddie, eyes closed for a moment. 

"You ok, Bill?" Eddie asks as Richie's attention falters. He's fighting with the cords and cursing under his breath.

"Yeah, I'm good." Bill takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "Love you so much."

Eddie squeezes his hand. "Love you."

"Got it!" Richie says triumphantly. He tosses a couple of controllers at them and sits near the TV. "You two losers ready?"

"Shut up, buttmunch," Eddie says. "Get ready to eat my dust!"

"Bring it!" Richie says. 

Bill struggles with his controller and gets settled. He knows the next couple of weeks are going to be hard. Eddie had agreed tonight that they would change their winter break plans, but that doesn't mean that it isn't going to be a struggle. He knows Eddie wants to break free, but Bill knows it isn’t easy; Sonia has a firm grip on her son.

Bill is not looking forward to the back and forth that is inevitably coming, but he decides there is no point in worrying about that now. Right now, Eddie is happy, Eddie is safe, and the three of them are going to have a good night. Tomorrow is future Bill’s problem, and tonight all he has to worry about is not driving the wrong way on the track. He knows everything will be ok.