#they're both shithead lawyers

[aparticularbandit]

Whiskey and Peg both function as parallels to the fam and their relationship to Miles.

Peg is at the same general crux the fam is in - her entire life has been this one thing, this one passion, and if it goes (if BIRDIE goes), she goes down, too. This is them doubled (more than doubled, I realized more as I wrote):

The fam have spent their lives pursuing their passions (Claire with politics, Lionel with scientific endeavors, Birdie with fashion (from various angles), Duke with - honestly, Duke was in gaming, Duke went to Twitch, Duke got his head spun a bit; I honestly think Duke should have been significantly younger, but that's another conversation); when Miles blackmails them (as he is definitely doing with Birdie), putting them in a situation where they either choose him (take the fall, get paid out) or not (the news leaks anyway, no money)-- if they lose those passions (through not going along with him), they've got nothing. (Except that brief stint in retail.)

Peg has also tied herself entirely to Birdie, just like the fam have tied themselves to Miles. Peg even says literally to Birdie that her therapist says they are in a toxic relationship, just like the fam is with Miles. If Birdie goes down, she goes down with her; if Miles goes down, they go down with him.

...you can also make commentary about Birdie's very clear lack of brain cells to Miles's stupidity. Miles is just better at covering it up.

...you can also make parallels about Birdie not understanding what sweatshops are (and that they are bad) to Miles not understanding that the concept behind hydrogen fuel that he was funding was bad. They both see a thing, think it is something other than what it is, and jump. Poorly. (And just like Birdie would take Peg down with her, Miles would specifically take Lionel and Claire (and Andi, if she'd been there) down with him. ...I guess, in this sense, Andi functions for Miles the same way Peg functions for Birdie. And just like Birdie has the secret phone, Miles has his secret lawyers.)

Whiskey is roughly with Duke where the fam was at the beginning of everything with Miles, just after the initial he's a creep phase. We see this primarily through her conversation(s) with Helen:

He is incorporating her more on his show, which lets her build her brand more.

She's not sure about this mandom stuff he's been leaning into because if she wants to go into politics (hi, Claire!), she's not sure voters will like who she's associated with.

This directly parallels Miles sponsoring the fam, getting them started, giving them what they need to finally go places - but in secret, he's asking small things of them that they're mostly okay with but kind of tentative about. He's leaning into some sketchy stuff that may impact their future, but right now, they're still staying with him.

Even more - Duke is literally trying to use Whiskey to get something he wants, making her do something (multiple times) that she clearly doesn't want to do - fuck Miles. We can tell from their phone conversation that Whiskey doesn't want to have sex with Miles again, but Duke pushes her to do it so "they" can get what "they" want - a slot on Alpha news. He tells her one last time, but there's no assurance it will BE one last time. This directly parallels specifically Lionel and Claire's relationship with Miles: he is pushing them to make compromises they don't want to make to get what "they" want - Lionel would have his name on a scientific breakthrough, Claire would be responsible for funding clean energy (when taking a strong stance on climate change - and renewable energy - is part of her campaign) - except that they both don't want to sign off on Klear because it is dangerous and get pushed into doing it anyway.

And, again, we see Helen very clearly telling Whiskey what the shitheads needed to be told from the beginning - Break up with him. He doesn't deserve you. You are worth more than this. - and supports her when she thinks she's done it (the same way she is thrilled with Andi when Andi finally steps away from Miles).

But they can't break away the same way Peg won't leave Birdie (even though she has clearly tried - brief stint in retail and then Birdie Jay), they require Miles to metaphorically die (his revelation as the murderer, the explosion that nearly killed all of them - comparable to Duke ACTUALLY DYING) before they can leave him.

And it's also clear that not only do Peg and Whiskey care for Birdie and Duke but the opposite is also true - there are enough Birdie/Peg gifsets that I feel that one is clear, and Duke has a sleepy Whiskey as his phone background; there are small things to support this.

I don't think there's any support for Miles actually caring about the shitheads.

But yeah. Whiskey and Peg's relationships to Duke and Birdie, respectively, throw the toxic aspect of the shitheads' relationship to Miles into sharp relief - it was always there, even from the beginning, even when they believed he loved them - and the fact that this is being shown through additional romantic or co-dependent relationships just. throws things into sharp relief.

[clevercleverchickenman]

Someday I'll maybe have the energy to write an essay about how Better Call Saul fits into a media environment where 1) "corrupt defense lawyer who wants to get violent criminals back on the street because they only care about money" is a well-worn problematic trope, 2) real life defense lawyers go on tiktok and say "hey never call the police never talk to the police never let them in your home" because they know from experience how it goes.

An essay about the anti-authoritarian themes, where they work and where they fall short. How the ways they fall short often comes as a result of the show being more focused on characters and their arcs rather than the larger sociological themes.

How Howard had to die because if he didn't there wouldn't be any good reason for Kim and Jimmy to feel guilty over what they did. On a personal level their actions were selfish and malicious, and thus narratively deserving of guilt. But ultimately by Howard's own admission he wouldn't have been meaningfully harmed because he is far too insulated by the wealth and privilege that he was born into, unlike the two of them or any of the Sandpiper residents.

How Kim's decision to walk away from a high paying "dream job" working for a firm that helps rich shitheads get richer, and helps banks force people out of their homes to work with people who can't afford lawyers was "breaking the rules" too, because "the rules" aren't just laws, they're what powerful people who want to maintain the status quo insist you are "supposed" to do.

How she presented an alternative both to the Saul Goodman path of "discard scruples make money" and the Hamlin Hamlin McGill path of "talk smugly about the rule of law while helping the powerful maintain their power and looking down on criminals," and how I'm still mad that after the timeskip they decided to have her throw that away, stop trying to help people at all and instead seems to be living the most deliberately "conforming to the expectations of society" life she can imagine as some bizarre form of penance.

[october-faye]

Episode 8 of Partner Track.

Ingrid is in jail. With a nun? Is this a dream sequence?

Ingrid has been arrested for stealing the expensive earrings belonging to Nick's family and pawning them. The office shows Ingrid a photograph of her sister Lina pawning the earrings. Ingrid pieces together what her shithead sister has done.

She doesn't rat out her sister, and calls for a lawyer. She calls... Jeff.

I am most amused. So is he.

Jeff gets the charges dropped by having them compare her fingerprints to the ones taken at the pawnshop Lina took the earrings to. She's free to go (and kill her sister).

But duty calls, and they need to head back to the office first.

Tyler meets Rachel at the park and immediately confesses to cheating on Anthony. He feels bad, but says the sex was amazing. Rachel reminds him of his advice to Ingrid in episode 6 - to tell the truth.

Paralegal Justin texts Rachel photos of his Thanksgiving dinner with friends. He's so cute. But Rachel chooses to go to the office to write instead of meeting her boy-toy or festering at home. But the only thing she manages to create is a paper-clip chain. I know this pain... 😩

Tyler returns home to Anthony. Anthony apologises for pressuring him to follow a specific path with his career, and he asks Tyler to help him out on his political campaign. I think Tyler's going to regret not telling him about the cheating.

Jeff and Ingrid are at the office working like a well oiled machine. It's nice to see and looking back I can't say it's completely unearned. This scene is much more tolerable than the scenes they shared in episodes 1 to 4. I honestly think this show found its feet in episode 5, which is coincidently when Ingrid/Jeff stopped being so agonising to watch.

Jeff reveals his past with Victoria. She was his client and they had an affair because they're both very beautiful and very British. Then she went through his stuff and found something she shouldn't. It ended up ruining something his firm was working on.

Ingrid asks why he's still hooking up with her. Jeff shrugs it off by saying he's not a white picket fence kind of guy. That's not an answer, dude.

He says something about soulmates and destiny, harking back to Ingrid's maid of honour speech from the night they met.

Ingrid suggests they perform the paperwork they're reviewing like it's a play. Couples nerding out together is my one weakness.

They discover that SunCorp is sneaking stuff into the paperwork. Jeff offers to stay and let Ingrid head to her family Thanksgiving. She refuses.

[spelviin]

Flower 7, 13 Honey 6, 19 Rieta 37, 63

aaa tysm for sending/letting me rant abt my lil guys!

Flower (bugbear ex-lawyer/peace cleric and hug enthusiast)

7. which party member do they understand the least? in terms of the whole party, definitely recurring npc jeff goldblum. bc of the running joke that jeff keeps getting credit for the parties' (current and past) heroic deeds, flower just doesn't understand how the guy who singlehandedly defeated strahd von zarovich and saved the city of elturel from its infernal bonds can barely land a vicious mockery in combat?

in terms of actual PCs, i'd probably say @birdz555's druid, lyria. they love her cheerful demeanour and her owl friend, but do find her a bit mysterious. also she spends a lot of time in wild shape and communicating via charades, so also like... they literally understand her the least lol.

13. what do they dislike about themself? why? they definitely dislike their past life as a mean, privileged, high-powered lawyer in the big city. when they were practicing, they were the greatest legal mind in their family (and possibly all of faerun), and they definitely used those powers, if not for direct evil, definitely solely for the benefit of the ultrawealthy shitheads of neverwinter. they've since changed their ways and renounced their old life and family, but their past still haunts them.

oh, and there's also the fact that they allowed an unspeakable evil ancient god to be unleashed upon an unsuspecting world because they DIDNT FUCKING CAST HOLD PERSON ON THE GODDAMNED SILENT ONE WHEN THEY HAD THE CHANCE (a misstep that fucking haunts *me* lmaooo). but, y'know, they try not to think about that generally. just to keep their usual positive outlook on life.

Honey (bugbear lawyer/paladin, flower's terrible older sister)

6. which party member do they relate to the most? in her current party? well, since both other PCs are, in her opinion, bleeding-heart do-gooder chumps for slogging it through the nine hells to save their idiot friend from her own bad choices, they're pretty much completely unrelatable to her. so i honestly think tiax, our guide npc burdened with delusions of grandeur, would be the most relatable to her. she still doesn't like him, but at least they share the same level of self-importance lol.

in her previous party, definitely morgan lol. in her eyes, he was the only one in the group who had any goddamn sense or perspective. and the fact that his deity is *lawful* evil also helped his case. which is honestly probably why she ended up setting up shop to work with him in the banite-controlled baldur's gate post-adventure.

19. what haunts them? what doesn’t? honey is so absurdly privileged and out of touch that she has very little in the way of conscience or compassion, so honestly almost nothing haunts her. the one thing that *does,* though, haunts her fucking deep (and i super hope i get to explore that whenever we get to whichever level of the 9 hells is about envy).

basically, honey's entire identity revolves around her legal prowess. she is hands-down the best *practicing* lawyer in her family, and she takes a lot of pride in that... but she knows, as mentioned above, that she only has that position because flower renounced their legal career and left to become a cleric. she knows, deep down, that everything she has, she has only because flower willingly gave it up, and that if they were ever to pick up the mantle again and return to their former profession, she would once again be relegated to second best.

(and like, second best in her family is still miles ahead of any other lawyer in the whole of neverwinter, but still... for someone as status-obsessed as honey, it would basically be a death sentence).

Rieta (tiefling sorcerer, currently imprisoned in the nine hells)

37. what is their favorite thing to hold? issarissa tbh ;;, @birdz555's half-elf grave cleric and rieta's gf (unless rieta's totally fucking blown it by secretly entering into a contract with a devil and lying to her about it for like two and a half years, but that remains to be seen as issa's still slogging it thru hell to save her from her own bad choices). between traveling to icewind dale on an adventure, and then getting dragged to hell for defying said devil's orders, she hasn't seen her in possibly close to a year, and misses her terribly ;;

in terms of a physical object, either some good quality wood to whittle, or, as a Certified Horse Girl, a set of reins, or like a horse brush or something idk.

63. what fight has scared them the most? oh god. i've been playing this motherfucker for like three campaigns, there are so many fights to choose from. like, obviously any of the fights she's actively tried to get herself killed to avoid/end (girl has the world's biggest martyr complex so there have been a few lol).

and THEN there's the time her bestie, our goliath barbarian/druid, got possessed and essentially hijacked by a ghost who almost killed the whole party and then fucked off. and like, she almost had to kill him, and he almost killed her and she was worried she was gonna have to tell johan that he got fucking KILLED on HER WATCH and it was just. not a good time.

but i think the ones that truly scared her most are the ones she has refused to let happen?

like, basically the reason she got dragged to hell in the first place is because the devil who holds her contract ordered her to allow a dragon to fuck up the towns she was trying to protect, and to fight her party if they tried to stop it. and she just could not bring herself to let all those people die, and ESPECIALLY couldn't fight her friends (esp after the ghost snafu lol), and so she defied the order and got reverse-raptured as punishment. so that's one.

but the REAL, number one fight that scares her more than anything, is the one that she's had recurring nightmares about for two and a half years - the fight that almost was, that involved her friends trying to get her out of her contract with gargauth by force. she is absolutely convinced that he would have (and potentially will) kill them horribly if they try to intervene, and it's just. the literal worst-case scenario for her, since her deepest fear is her friends and family dying for her sake (the hypocrisy of this is, of course, entirely lost on her lmaoooo).

anyway, all this to say i do NOT anticipate her taking it well when she learns that said gf and bestie are currently en route to try to save her dumb ass, actively putting their lives and souls on the line for her sake. so, y'know, that'll be fun when we get to it lol.

anyways OOF, hoo boy, i'm so sorry this got SO LONG, i just have A Lot of Thoughts abt my dnd characters.

tysm again for sendingg!!!! <3

[griffintail]

Could you do the dream smp (separately) realizing that their child is just really smart? It could be like they're a prodigy in a particular subject or they're just really smart in general. Can you also include these characters: (and any more you want to add) Wilbur, Dream, Tommy, Eret, Techno, and Ranboo. Ty in advance if you decide to do this!

Smartest in the Room

Pairings: Parental! Wilbur, Dream, Tommy, Eret, Technoblade, and Ranboo x F! Child! Reader

Warnings: None :)

A/N: (F/L) means the first letter of your first name.

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Eret

(Y/N) was young when she started studying the politics of the SMP and L'Manberg.

Naturally, she picked up on it with ease and rather mature with issues that arose.

Eret was very proud of her when she asked to sit and listen to the meetings to understand them even better.

There had even been a few times that (Y/N) could hold her own in a debate despite being ten years old.

"That does not justify your acts in this courtroom!" (Y/N) argued with Big Law, Eret sweating slightly as he had taken her to a case going on today for broken laws in L'Manberg.

"It does I'm a lawyer! You shouldn't even be here!"

"Name a law I don't know!" (Y/N) challenged.

---

"Yes, he did take your things first." (Y/N) stuck out her tongue slightly trying to balance in heels, Tommy crossing his arms as he watched her. "But you stealing in a return is still a wrong action and punishable. It will simply mean nobody wins."

Eret was very proud to see his little girl prosper and knew she'd only excel further when he came into her room to find her writing in a book.

"What are you doing princess?"

She looked up and smiled, showing him the book. "My policies when I can finally run for president."

Yeah, he was very proud of his kid. He wouldn't be surprised when she finally would manage to become president of L'Manberg.

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Dream

(Y/N) was all-around smart and Dream knew it every day.

She could come up with excellent tactics and be quick to change them if need be when she played Manhunt with Dream, Sapnap, and George.

She could read some pretty advanced books and understand them with little difficulty.

She also learned how to be a pretty good liar with the help of her friends but Dream didn't know that one.

She learned a lot of different things and worked to master them every day.

Though, the thing she took the most pride in was her swordsmanship. She wanted to be just her father.

George screamed as he fell and (Y/N) pointed her sword tip to his neck, taking quick breaths. Sapnap laughed at George as (Y/N) grinned taking the sword away and helping George up. As she did, she looked up at the sound of clapping, grinning wider as she saw Dream, home early.

"You're pretty good, sweetheart. Why don't we go against each other?" Dream offered to her.

Dream was very proud to see her hold her own for a while against him and knew she'd one day become the master.

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Ranboo

It was a surprise to Ranboo when (Y/N) excelled in reading and writing.

She could read rather fast and could comprehend what she just read.

Her calligraphy was also rather elegant for someone so young as she often wanted to write down what happened, just like Ranboo.

"You don't need to write everything down little enderman. You remember everything." Ranboo told her as they were sitting and she was writing in her own journal.

"I know, but I want my own memory book to make sure I never forget, just like you." (Y/N) smiled and Ranbo smiled as well, gently ruffling her hair.

Ranboo didn't know about her excellent reading until Phil called him over to Techno's where Phil was currently babysitting her.

"So, Techno gave her a book." Phil started off and Ranboo nodded, frowning slightly confused.

What was so bad about a book?

"...It was the Art of War and she read all of it and Techno quizzed her on it and she got every question correct."

"WHAT?!" Ranboo exclaimed.

"Techno's making her read Greek myths now."

"Techno!" Ranboo went to go talk to the other man.

Techno had another friend at least.

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Technoblade

Many thought that Techno's child would be the most skilled swordsman in the land.

And they'd be correct but she didn't show it off. Instead, she became just as knowledgeable as her father, with his help.

She knew just as much about things from Greek myths to The Art of War as Technoblade.

Tommy would make fun of her for being a nerd occasionally but would quickly take it back when Techno would glare over her head at him.

She wasn't as much of a fighter like Techno, even though she was practically a master at most weapons other than axes but Techno was fine to encourage her with her smarts instead.

"Why doesn't she fight? She's a Blade! You call her little blade!" Tommy questioned his brother as (Y/N) was across the room reading next to Steve.

"She doesn't need to, I got that covered," Techno told him.

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Tommy

A lot of people are quick to dismiss (Y/N) to be just like Tommy but people underestimate both of them.

She was rather well-rounded. With the help of her father, Tubbo, and Wilbur, she was rather smart and a pretty damn good fighter.

It tended to frustrate Tommy that many people would simply brush off her smarts and he would furiously call them back.

"Hey, shithead! Listen to what my amazing kid has to say!" He called to Fundy and (Y/N) grinned.

Tommy was very proud of her and also tended to show off her smarts to others. Though she tended to act just like Tommy.

She kept what she could really do away until she actually needed to do it.

"How the hell do we do this puzzle?" Tubbo motioned to the floor in front of them as Tommy and (Y/N) were exploring temples with him.

"That's easy, like this." (Y/N) simply walked over and completed the puzzle, like it was nothing. "Done!"

"Good job little (F/L)!" Tommy grinned.

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Wilbur

Wilbur taught (Y/N) all about music from the moment she could start remembering. He took great pride in it.

He was very delighted when she started to pick up on things and gladly taught her more when she showed actual interest in it.

He taught her to play guitar and piano and even helped her practice her vocals. She picked up on all of it so quick and he was so delighted to share his art with her.

She wasn't a master yet, but Wilbur knew his little star would be one, one day.

Wilbur hummed as he strummed his guitar, staring at his journal with lyrics inside. What could the second verse be?

"Are we playing today?" (Y/N) peeked in.

Wilbur smiled. "We can be if you want. I'm working on a new song, like to hear it?"

She nodded eagerly as she sat in front of him. He strummed before singing for her.

"I heard there was a special place, where men could go emancipate. The brutality and tyranny of their rulers. Well, this place is real you needn’t fret, with Wilbur, Tommy, Tubbo, (Y/N), fuck Eret. It's a very big and not blown up L’Manberg. My L'Manberg. My L'Manberg. My L'Manberg. My L'Manberg."

(Y/N) grinned widely as Wilbur sang before he stopped and looked at her.

"Sound good?" He asked.

"Wonderful! Is there more?"

"I need to write more little star." He chuckled. "I'm having trouble thinking up a second verse."

"Well, it's about L'Manberg, right? What...what about, for freedom and for liberty, our nation sought to build on these." She sang the words similar to how he had been singing earlier.

He grinned brightly. "I love it."

His little star was most certainly going to be talented.

[brilliant-soul]

I remember in gr11 I had to do this project on like what jobs we wanted or whatever. We had to pick two completely different ones and write up why we thought we'd do good in it.

And yk most kids were putting lawyer and doctor and y'know bougee jobs that pay well.

And I was kind of a shithead in school who had little to no aspirations (and killer anxiety) so I ended up choosing 1. An author and 2. A truck driver.

My basis for both was not having to interact with many people and that they're both jobs I could easily do.

Anywho, I ended up getting best mark in the class and the teacher showed it to everyone and asked to keep it for next year to show more kids.