#think i gotta delete some more really old stuff in my drafts that i've been TRYING to hold onto but might as well let go of at this point..

[byanyan]

hhhh okay i have a couple more of those late night prompts left... i wanted to finish them up today but i'm feeling so meh this evening that i think i'm gonna call it there and try to get them done tomorrow instead. ...and then get back to my drafts bc i'm falling even further behind again lmao

[the-pitchfork-kids]

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT.

This will be regarding the future of the PFK series. Please read EVERYTHING it is very important.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about the direction of the series and being a better writer and such and I've realized that- I really dislike Headless Hummingbirds. I think it's sort of well-known within y'all by now that it was originally a joke. A silly joke for my friends- and it somehow blossomed into this big idea and story that I want to tell through my writing, but because Headless Hummingbirds was originally a joke- and ultimately, that time the group was changing far more than right now, it causes a lot of plot points and characters to be rushed and messed up and it was just all a mess to write.

That plus the fact I never put any real effort into this to being with all led to a product yes, but a product I could have improved. At the time I kept holding myself to deadlines and I forced myself to publish the absolute moment I could, I never through of re-writing and despised the idea of writing a draft so I just published what I had and called it a day.

That was back in September, five months ago- and a girl can change in those months.

Since I've published the book I looked more into actually learning how to write better- because nobody, no matter what you wish; can make a career on pure talent alone. You gotta actually take time to learn stuff- so that I did!

And that learning made me realize that I really dislike the book and I don't want to continue the series with a book starting it off like that. I want this to be good and entertaining- I want this to tell the story right. And what I've made currently is nowhere near how I want to tell the story.

I won't get into nitty, gritty details of what I dislike and what I think is wrong- because I don't want anybody's pity. I just want patience and understanding.

I have decided to re-write Headless Hummingbirds.

So book two will be paused- and actually the few pages of it I already have are going to be deleted. I now know what I want to do with this series unlike before- and I'd like to start with a book in this series that I wrote keeping that in mind. I want to start with a book I put effort in, that I knew was something big I wanted, not a silly joke that I accidentally blew up.

The original idea for Headless Hummingbirds was supposed to be a big, fat, joke. It was supposed to be 50 pages of fun nonsense for us to laugh at- I was actually planning to start writing a different book at the time, but then as I wrote I kept needing more and more pages and adding more and more and eventually- you got Headless Hummingbirds.

But that Headless Hummingbirds can be improved- it can be better and I want it to be. I want to give you guys quality that you'll actually enjoy reading- not something you'll just tolerate for the sake of getting to see what happens to the main gooberish cast.

Now I will say, a re-write does come with some complications that you may or may not like- but I know this is the best decision for my series. I know what I want- and I want to deliver it to you guys in a way that had heart and soul poured into it instead of overused metaphors and brainless ideas.

What does this mean for the audiobook?

This means not that much for the audiobook project actually.

If you don't know, I'm producing a voice-acted audiobook for Headless Hummingbirds- because I'm really extra like that.

In all seriousness, you don't have to worry. The audiobook will still come out- and it won't be paused either! Now it will still take a long while to be published- probably taking till next September or November to release because of re-casting issues and VA's quitting, but the re-write has not effected it at all.

It just means we'll have two Headless Hummingbirds audiobooks!

Speaking of...

What does this mean for the old Headless Hummingbirds book?

Again, it doesn't mean too much- it just means that everything that book says it no longer canon!

As you might have griped- not too long ago I updated saying that the book was the "prologue" to the series, to try and make it seem like a faraway distant to the better books of the franchise I was going to write- but it still didn't feel right.

Now I will still keep it up on the blog! Because it's still a part of the series and should still get it's spot! Though it will be listed as the "Beta Draft," acting sort of as those concept art releases shows will have! This is what we thought of before compared to what you got!

Honestly, that is what it is- I got all the ideas out onto paper- now it just needs re-working and an uncluttered brain to organize them into a proper story- and honestly, I think it's very cool and interesting to look at concept ideas for shows and games- so why shouldn't books have that same thing? Why shouldn't I share the concept and the splatter of messily conceived ideas that brought you the real product?

So don't worry, the book will still be up- it just won't be canon anymore. I know a lot of you probably really liked the original and won't like the fact some of it will have changed, but trust me. The story will be almost identical to the new one I'm writing- just a few character, relationship, setting and event changes is all.

And hey! Who knows, I might make it a thing I do! Share the concept manuscript for the actual installment so you can see where the glory you read came from!

What does this mean for the blog?

Does this mean a restart? Does this mean a deletion? Does this make every single post up to this point incorrect? No No And again, no. Most of the posts I already said aren't canonical don't canonize anything specific I plan on changing from Headless Hummingbirds.

This also does not mean the blog is going to be stopped.

Yes, I have been cheating you out of incorrect quote content- but that due to something entirely different.

Something called school.

(And Hazbin Hotel but I digres.)

But the blog will run smoothly and most everything of recent is 100% canon if I didn't already say it wasn't canon!

In conclusion

I hope you guys wait and stick around to see the re-write of Headless Hummingbirds. I really do, I want to start the series with a book that I wrote knowing what I wanted our of it. I'm a terrible pantser and that is very noticeable in my writing- so this would help me make everything better for you guys! I really want you guys to love this series and I'm going to try my best and write you quality, entertaining things for you to enjoy later down the line!

Thank you for reading

And thank you for your patience :)

I cannot wait to get you the actual HH book!

[inkabelledesigns]

I'm supposed to be going to sleep, I gotta get up early tomorrow, but I need to share this because it's not gonna leave me alone unless I do.

So I dug up my old "how to draw" books today after watching a Jazza video where he talked about books that shaped him as an artist. No joke, I hugged these close and cried when I got them out of storage, it felt like having an old piece of myself back that went missing. As you've probably noticed, there's a little bit of manga in there, some furries, and anatomy books that I should listen to a little more. The manga books are the hardest for me to touch nowadays, and it's for a weird reason.

You see, back in 2016, someone who I thought was my friend said the most hurtful thing to me, and to this day nothing has ever stung worse. He said "I don't consider you an artist," followed by "your art isn't anime enough." Someone I'd known for years at that point, someone I trusted, invalidating the most important part of my identity at the time, just because it didn't fit his preference? Pardon my language, but what a fucking bitch. And being the insecure artist I was, no thanks to people in our circle who bullied me and my work relentlessly, this lead to a very awkward relationship where I avoided anime and manga like the plague. Which is a shame, because those art forms are incredibly beautiful. I hated my work getting compared to it by people who didn't know any better, I still hate it. It was fine if my friends drew it, but I didn't feel free to do anything with it. It wasn't something I was allowed to indulge in, because that asshole had to be wrong, I refused to draw something in a style he would like, his likes were just trash in my mind, tasteless and uneducated. That's what I had to tell myself to feel better. And that's not a healthy way to go through life, feeling so spiteful. (Though looking back on it, he was pretty trashy, but for a different reason.) I haven't thought about him in a long time, but today I've been thinking on the past a lot...a lot of how I wish I could heal from it faster and move on from the many people who hurt me. I don't talk about them much, but the things that happened before had a big impact on me, I care way more than I should about people thinking my work is lesser, that I'm lesser. It's not something I open up about, it's something I type up a lot of drafts on but then delete, because who cares? What's the point in saying it?

Well guess what happened tonight?

I went and tried some things after reading bits of the two manga books I guiltily enjoy, and it...it helped? Up until now, I really don't like the way I draw faces. I like my noses from certain angles, because I like decently sized noses, but eyes and mouths? I'm hopeless. But trying Auran's eyes as something similar to these two books, it works for me. It's not perfect, but the sizing and shape feels...better. I'm getting better with his hair and fluff too, I owe Vampire for that one. Studying her art (which is freaking gorgeous) makes me want to try some of her techniques in my own content, and it's made for some interesting results. I feel like maybe it's time to give all of this another try, start fresh with these books and let myself just have fun with art again. Go after it like I'm a kid again, just make stuff because I like it and it looks cool, not because it needs to be amazing. That'll come on its own. I think I can rest tonight knowing that things are gonna be better.

'Cause at the end of the day, I'm me. And the same thing that made me special when I started is still there. I've got some damn good ideas, just need the pencil and paper to go with them. There is a point in talking about what hurts, and more importantly, I SHOULD share the stuff I love. Because dammit, I've been on this journey for a long time, and my work matters just as much as everyone else's! It's always mattered, even if I didn't think it was worthy of mattering at some points. We're starting the next decade of my journey with hope! And I hope that this gives YOU some hope if you need it too! Because we are worthy, we are amazing, and we're gonna kick some butt!