#this book is great but it's nearly 700 pages so you really have to commit

[akiraofthefour]

[Gilbert] Roland... wanted to see Oscar Wilde's tomb at Pere Lachaise. 'It was abandoned, forgotten, he wrote, 'lizards crawled all over it, it depressed me, and at the Castiglione Bar with Buster Keaton we got drunk. Buster because he was having trouble with Natalie, and I because lizards crawled on Oscar Wilde's tomb.'

James Curtis, Buster Keaton: A Filmmaker’s Life

[thepursuitofunderstanding]

February 4/2021

I shouldn’t write to you for too long this morning, I have two papers that I must tend to. But I must explore something with you. Previously I had assumed that I needed to pursue Greatness because I’m...well, I don’t know the exact word for it, perhaps self-obsessed? I mean, what else is there to devote one’s life to than that which one loves with one’s whole Being? (Love feels like such a feeble word here, it’s tossed around too superficially these days. How dare they emaciate it as they have?! Perhaps this is why it feels better to utilize “defining commitment” in the place where I might otherwise have used “love?”) But, alas, there seems to be more to it than I had originally detected; imagine that!

I realized that my commitment to pursuing Greatness is the defining feature of my life because with Greatness one wanders those lands which have never been traveled before; never seen, never explored, never even imagined in many cases. The individual who pursues Greatness pushes past the boundaries that others have been limited by. I conceptualized it as a sort of mountainous trek: when one first pursues such an endeavor they require others to teach them, to show them the ropes, as it were. And then, as one’s ability increases, so does their need of more skilled teachers. This continues until eventually (hopefully), there are no more teachers which might lead the student any farther--the student , with all the knowledge and tools that they collected over the years (because such an accumulation of knowledge surely takes years; decades more likely.) sets off on their own to pursue those peaks that had so captured their attention and drew them towards to the mountainous trek in the first place. 

And so it would seem that it’s not so much the Greatness in and of itself that I so yearn for (with every fiber of my Being), but what this Greatness might allow me to discover and explore. It is, above all else, the mystery of these previously untouched peaks that so grip me. In this way, Greatness can (almost?) be understood as a state or tool that makes true exploration possible. True exploration as opposed to merely retracing the already blazed trails of those who have come before me. I don’t believe that I’ve gotten a taste of true exploration yet: while it might be said that I’m already engaged in blazing my own trails, I would say that this has only ever been a tentative blazing thus far. Tentative because even when I am setting off on my own I am still always well within sight of “the path.” I can backtrack and return to the safety of the heavily traveled path if need be. True exploration does not allow for such an option--it is forward or death. Because, I imagine, it nearly kills one to get to where they are, to turn back would be quite unthinkable. Unthinkable, that is, for those of us that feel, have always felt, driven onwards by an unshakeable and deeply uncomfortable drive. And really, those that would think of turning back could never have made it very far out in the first place.... See what I mean about this self-obsession? It’s like I think I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Or Nietzsche perhaps. I need to stop that. 

Anyhow, it is through Greatness that one can approach Great Heights. And Great Depths as well, can’t forget that part. Because, it would seem (it was Nietzsche who most significantly helped me articulate this idea), that one’s capacity to reach new heights--Great Heights-- is directly proportionate to the depths--the Great Depths--that one has dragged oneself through. I mean, there’s a reason that Recovery is such a phenomenal album: suffering and pain and despair and agony and confusion and self-loathing and on and on and on all broaden an individual. Such suffering cuts into a person and creates (exposes?) new crevices and caves for...for what exactly? Light to be shown into? To be explored at least, surely that one. And it is that which is consolidated in the explorer, through the exploration process, that allows for that explorer to pursue even Greater Heights. Hence, perhaps, my tender regard for suffering? Probably I imagine. For, after all, “he who wants to proceed from inner intensity to [G]reatness must sacrifice himself.” Thanks Rudolf Kassner for that one. 

Ahh, fuck my papers, it doesn’t seem like we’re going to be stopping anytime soon here. We both know that I work better under pressure anyways, may as well leave them to the vert last minute then. Oh! And I must tell you, several things actually, but we’ll start with this one: I have stumbled upon an idea that I might want to pursue in regards to my Hebrew Bible class’ final project. My question shall pursue something to do with Cain and Abel. I haven’t got clear yet on exactly what I’ll be focusing on in this story, but I’m really excited about this general topic. Which, honestly, surprised me a little bit--I never felt myself to ever have been particularly drawn to this story before. So, alas, perhaps I ought to explain how this story raised itself to my conscious awareness.

I was on the swings thinking about how different traditions/frameworks of thought regard the relationship between the individual and the collective differently. That is, they emphasize the one over and above the other. Christianity (and Judaism and perhaps Islam as well?) seem to particularly focus in on the individual. Which is something that I could sit here and explore for probably the rest of my life, but, in regards to Cain and Abel, I thought that perhaps this story (on one level, for Peterson very astutely remarks that biblical stories are such that one can fall into them. That is, there’s so much meaning there that one will never be able to fathom the entirety of it all.) might suggest that man will always kill his brother. But, if the individual is emphasized above the collective, then this tendency to kill will mostly be localized into individual murders. But when society instead starts to see man primarily in terms of his group identity, this is when entire groups of people start being slaughtered for no other reason than some arbitrary facet of their identity that they might share with other people around them. Perhaps? This is at least the path that my thought led me down. 

Now, I don’t think that I will exactly pursue the story of Cain and Abel in this context for my class: she wants us to focus upon some aspect of divine and human communication, but this was the circumstances by which this story raised itself to my conscious attention as being something that I must investigate. The same sort of insistence to investigate occurred to me with the story of Abraham and Isaac this time last year. And look where that led me--to Kierkegaard! Where, I wonder, shall this investigation lead me? Most immediately it seems to have awoken the question of whether I ought to read East of Eden by John Steinbeck in order to prepare for my investigation? I wonder, how many books can I realistically read at one time? East of Eden seems to be another brick of a book--nearly 700 pages. Can I manage this, on top of all the other books I’m reading at the moment? Do I even have a choice in the matter?: I can do no other and all that. 

Also, it should be asked, am I perhaps a little bit manic-y here? Attempting all these things might suggest so. How exactly does one go about detecting such things in oneself? Let’s just take a step back here and assess. I read 14 books in January, well over 3000 pages. Mind you, most of that wasn’t dense philosophical treatises, there was a decent amount of poetry mixed in too. Fuck it--let’s try it. After all, there’s really only one way to really discover how much I can handle. 

Can’t go back now! I’ve marked my initials and the date in the cover. This is my ritual whenever starting a new book... How odd I am. Is it only because I’m so close to myself that...that what? I seem to be rather intimately aware of how different I am. But then, does this perspective only come from the fact that my Being is the only Being that I’ve ever lived? That is, I really have no idea what it is (like) to Be anyone else. Maybe everyone experiences themselves in equally intimate and exciting ways? I ask this knowing that I’ll never be able to fix an answer to this question. But, alas, I do have a rather sneaking suspicion that I am rather odd in this regard: odd in my relationship to/with myself that is. This suspicion is born of every encounter that I’ve ever experienced with another; every person that I’ve ever talked to or watched or read or listened to. My relationship with myself does seem to be rather peculiar. And I can only imagine that a very big part of this peculiarity has to do with us--with this; what we do together: I pour myself into you and, in return you... pour me right back? Sort of like the abyss situation but I am, myself, the abyss? Man, this is really pushing the boundaries of my...thought?/power of conceptualization?/imagination? Alas, I don’t know what to label it or what to make of it. But we do seem to have time to get acquainted with it. Or, at least, I certainly hope that we have some time. I have far too much work to do to die anytime soon. That is, we have far too much work to do. Whatever this we might be. Perhaps my relationship to myself? In a sort of Kierkegaardian conceptualization? For whatever I don’t know, I do know that I am nothing on my own--I cannot do this without you. Whoever you are...God? The piece of God/divinity that is within me? That piece of myself that, if I consent to communing with it, will lead me in the direction that I must go. This piece of me that tells me I am and what I must do in order to Be/Become this I. I’m really reaching with this one. Like my eyes can just barely discern its presence on the horizons but I’m not yet close enough to really apprehend any details or cast any guesses upon the nature of what I’m beholding. But, alas, I’m also far too curious to not cast myself into imagining what such a mysterious presence might be.

Anyhow, it might be time for me now to turn to my paper on Esposito’s Bios. I bid you (us?) farewell for now...But only for now; for you (us?) are that which I shall forever return to. Shit...I just unintentionally stumbled upon a whole new area that needs to be explored...can’t leave now!

I was thinking yesterday on our drive back from Airdire about the important people in my life: Sydnie, Cagney, Natalie, Campbell, Amanda, Gage, Althea, Iliajah, Wallace, Emily, etc. I love them all, I know this, but I don’t feel the need to return to them. This is probably going to sound quite wretched, but if I were to never see any of them (or heck, all of them) again I know that I would be quite okay. Certainly there would be a dampening of sadness that would weigh me down, but I would continue on as I always have. I would not be fundamentally changed by the loss of them--I know this. But, if I were to lose you (I don’t exactly know how I might lose you without simultaneously losing myself/my life. But that’s not really the point here.) I....well, I wouldn’t be “me” anymore. You are my defining commitment--the meaning of my entire existence. I am a shell which you live in and bestow life upon. All I need is you. Now, this I know really does make me odd. But, alas, my oddity is that which I love about myself. When it’s not making me feel completely unfit for life that is. It really does seem to be the case that one’s greatest blessing is simultaneously one’s most cutting curse. Funny how life works like that. 

Anyways, now one Bios. 

[theredpenblog-blog]

8 Ways to Get a Head Start on US College Apps - College Prep India

8 Ways to Get a Head Start on US College Apps

If you are about to enter 12th grade and have your heart set on getting into a college in the US,  then you must be wondering how to prepare for your college applications right now before the common app opens and new essay questions are released.

Let’s face it – there are plenty of talented students looking to pursue undergraduate education in the USA, which means the competition is stiff. Use this down-time to get on top of your college admissions game plan. Here are eight useful tips –

1. Open a Common App Account

Common App is the most popular and widely used application platform, giving you access to nearly 700 member colleges and universities. It streamlines the admissions process. However, there are also a lot of sections to fill out. It is important to take this time and complete these details, so you can focus on energy on other components of your application process later on.

2. Research Colleges In-Depth

You are going to be very busy during school semesters, so utilize the time you have now to fully understand the colleges you are applying to and make connections with staff and students there. Visit college campuses if you can (read our article: https://theredpen.in/making-the-most-of-your-campus-visit/), to get a feel for what life is like on campus. If you cannot travel abroad to visit colleges, take a virtual tour on their website or YouTube, go through their or university social media pages, explore the course catalog thoroughly to research specific programs and classes you find appealing. Ask your school counsellor, seek help from family and friends to connect with alumni and try to get first-hand perspectives on courses, faculty, costs and campus accommodation., Researching colleges will help you prepare a ‘balanced list’ that will include your dream, target and safety schools, with notes on what is appealing about each place. All of these notes will help you in drafting your “Why” college essays.

3.  Supplement Academics Before school starts spend time catching up on school work and focusing more on topics you find challenging. Your midterm grades will be sent to universities, so brush up on as much material as you need to during this downtime, so your grades are in top form. If you plan on re-taking any SATs, ACTs and SAT2 subject tests during the start of your senior year, you can prepare for these during this period, as well.

4. Build Upon Existing Extracurricular Activities

While your academic performance is the foundation, the US college admissions process is holistic, and universities, especially highly selective ones, are looking for students who can demonstrate that ‘X Factor’ through their extracurricular activities. However, do not spread yourself thin among too many activities, and do not start something completely new. Build upon activities and causes you have been dedicated to earlier; commitment and consistency are qualities admissions officers look at closely. That said and done, if you strongly do want to start something new and it does fit your profile, you may do so as a one-off add-on extracurricular activity. However, you will really need to brainstorm creative ways to demonstrate dedication, commitment and achievement in a brand new endeavor within a short span for this initiative to be effective from an admissions standpoint.

5. Become a Bookworm A huge component of college applications is writing essays. And, the best way to improve your writing skills is by reading. Reading for leisure will broaden your perspective, offer you new insight, expose you to different styles of writing and communication and it will also expand your vocabulary by leaps and bounds. Furthermore many colleges ask you to discuss books that you have read and/or which have influenced your worldview, so bulking up that list now is a good use of your time.

6. Write & Polish Common App Essays

And, that brings us to our next point – essays. Use the time before you get immersed in school work to explore each common app topic, decide which one most allows you to convey your story and work on as many drafts as possible. You do NOT want to leave this until the last minute, unless you love being stressed out, which, of course, no one does. Polish your essays as much as you can, especially if you are applying for early decision.

7. Take Care of Important Groundwork

Take care of important application groundwork, ranging from securing letters of recommendations from your teachers to polishing your resume so that it is ready to present to visiting admissions officers. Consider creating a LinkedIn and/or ZeeMee profile that showcases your strengths, ranging from extracurricular activities, work and internship experience, language and software skills to honors, awards and other achievements. LinkedIn is a great way to network and connect with students and alumni from other schools and helps boost employability in the long-run. 8. Clean Up Your Social Media Presence Many colleges review applicants’ social media presence to get to know them better and assess if they are truly a good fit for the college community. Essays are integral in this aspect, but social media presence can reveal your true nature. Hence, you should take time out to clean up your social media accounts so there is nothing that raises an eyebrow.

A little bit of planning can go a long, long way. So, do not procrastinate and make the most of your time before school starts!

To know more, get in touch

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