#this could actually also fit with choso maybe older yuuji

[sukunasdirtylaugh]

thinking of a single (older sister) reader raising her middle schooler-high schooler brother and she's desperate to find a male figure for her sibling so she makes a deal with her kind and gentle boss, nanami kento

[laceymorganwrites]

Dämmerlicht - Choso´s part

Word count: 5, 212

Pairing: Choso x reader

Warnings: swearing, happy what if scenario, description of a panic attack

A/N: okay so. Choso is my second fave. I am MAD AS HELL at Mappa for animating him the way they did. But alas, I still wanted to get this out since it is his first anime appearance. So, have this as a celebration <33

Taglist: @miyaniacs

Choso didn´t know what to expect when he read the text message from one of his brothers.

“A really nice person prevented us from getting killed and now we´re having drinks with them and the attackers. You should come over”

What the hell was that even supposed to mean? His day was already stressful enough and now he was beyond worried for his brothers. If anything were to happen to them the people responsible wouldn´t be able to think about taking their next breath as it would be their last one.

On the way to the described area his head was full of questions about their well being, what had happened, had he failed as an older brother?

It was quite the long way and he wondered what kind of bar would be situated this far up a hill, hidden in the woods nonetheless.

But then again, it wasn´t just any bar as he would learn later.

You were a teacher at jujutsu high in Tokyo, arriving just in time to stop Yuuji and Nobara from killing innocent curses.

Everyone else was occupied and at first you thought the kids would finish the mission without any problems. But as always it got more dangerous than anyone had bargained for.

Since you were the only one available right now you were dispatched to the location.

When you arrived you saw that Megumi was fast asleep, he probably exerted himself, that was a first. You wondered what motivated him that much. You would ask him tomorrow when he was awake again.

For now you had to search for the other kids, so you followed the great amount of cursed energy you could feel.

Luckily you were in time.

“They´re being manipulated! Back off, you guys” you announced your presence and got ready to defend the kids since you could still feel a bit of violence from the curses, albeit forced.

Sensing cursed energy was your specialty, you could tell the intentions clearly which is why you realized sooner than others that not all curses were bad, most were just as bad off as you were.

You have been part of the movement for a long time, the Dämmerlicht was like your second home.

It seemed like you would introduce the kids to it too, not that you minded. Gojo and you talked about this a lot, when the right timing would be, whether or not they´d understand.

But you trusted those kids, you believed in them, they were good people.

You were glad you could talk to the curses and help them defy Mahito and his group.

It was a relief, but also so much more than that. It meant peace, even if it was just for a moment.

Trusting didn´t come easy for you, growing up in such a corrupt and cold system you weren´t surprised in the least.

Though you found comfort in the fact that you weren´t alone. It was nice teaching the way you wanted to, the right way, teaching the children everything you have learned, exposing the elders as much as you could get away with.

“Alright, is everything else here done?” you asked, looking at your watch since you didn´t want to leave Megumi unguarded for long.

“Uuuh I think so…” Yuuji replied, he still didn´t quite grasp the situation. Megumi should have exorcised the curse that was plaguing his sister and so many others, so that didn´t leave any other tasks.

After some time the kids got used to the curses being just like them, meaning no harm. It felt like going home with friends as you squeezed them all inside your car, honestly it was quite the miracle they all fit in there.

“Someone wake Megumi. I need to talk to you” your voice got serious, you reckoned now would be a good time.

Megumi yawned and was kind of confused as to how he got in the car and why there were curses around him. Mostly he was just a tad bit annoyed that he was woken up.

“Listen, I know you must be confused right now. But you have to listen carefully to what I will say next. And keep this a secret. If this gets out of the car we and all my friends are going to be dead.” you started, the kids were focused now and nodded along with you.

“Forget everything you´ve learned, about this world, about curses. Most of it isn´t true. Yeah, there are vengeful spirits out there, but there are just as many sorcerers that are as bad as them if not worse. Don´t trust anyone, learn to trust your gut. You need to learn how to read cursed energy better. That way you always know what the intentions are. I will show you a very special place now. A safe space for people like me, people like us. I´m showing you this now and not later because I want you to know the truth, I want you to do better than any of us ever could. You should realize it before it´s too late. Maki´s already in on it” you explained, going into further detail about the history of the bar and the movement and how Gojo is part of it as well.

The last part seemed to fully convince them luckily, after all Gojo spent even more time with them than you. You just taught them basic things like combat, when it came to missions and such Gojo was the one to do that.

When you arrived you immediately relaxed, the familiar veil had you at ease, feeling a bit of peace.

“Come on now, guys, if we stand around too much we´re risking being seen” you warned them and hurried inside with them.

“Damn, that´s a strong veil…” Megumi said out loud, looking around and as suspected taking a defensive stance as soon as he saw the customers in the bar.

Though he relaxed when he couldn´t feel any malice from them.

You guided them to the backroom where the meetings were held and introduced them to the owner.

“Oh, recruiting already, I see how it is” they grinned at you and explained everything in more detail to the kids and the curses.

After the initial shock they accepted it and were more calm about it than you had thought. It brought a smile to your face.

You decided to hang out a bit more and get to know each other, it should be fine since Gojo would let them sleep in either way, he had the first lessons tomorrow.

He even volunteered to pick them up, after all he still needed to pay his daily visit to the bar.

Nobara and Eso got along quite well, already making plans to hang out more. She promised to go shopping with him once or at least get him one of those tops with an open back.

She was good at encouraging him to show it more and be proud of it, he appreciated it, though was far from being as confident as her.

He envied her a bit, but not in a vengeful way, it was more of an admiration for a new friend.

Eso would like it if they would hang out more, maybe he would get over his insecurities that way.

Megumi also wasn´t that much on edge as he usually was, you saw that as a massive win and were in a good mood.

“I think Choso would like it here, do you think we should invite him?” Kechizu asked his brother who nodded. “Choso´s our old brother, he´s the eldest. You can trust him”  Eso assured you, usually you´d be distrustful towards such statements but since you didn´t feel any bit of lying intentions you agreed to it.

You wondered what their brother would be like and listened to the other´s fond words of him while you waited for his arrival.

Choso arrived at the destination and looked around, no one followed him. Good.

His brothers told him that he should be extra careful, so he was.

He had to admit he was quite curious about this place, so he entered through the curtain, it was very strong and only let people with good intentions in.

As soon as he saw his brothers laughing with you and your students he felt at ease and approached your table, greeting you politely and sitting down next to his brothers, checking for injuries just in case.

“You must be Choso, it´s nice to meet you” you smiled and reached out your hand he reluctantly shook.

Choso was naturally rather on guard, especially around sorcerers like you. Though he couldn´t sense any malice from you.

But that didn´t mean anything.

The last time he met someone like you it got him and his brothers sealed. It was his fault and his brothers had to pay for it, it wasn´t fair. If only he paid more attention.

But that was about a hundred years ago already, he couldn´t remember.

He didn´t know what to feel when he was unsealed. All his life he spent protecting his brothers and spending time with them, he didn´t know anything else to do.

And now they were supposed to follow some newbie? Not with him. Nobody gave him and his brothers orders, they were free after all.

And, even though he hated playing that card, more experienced and older than the new curse.

He didn´t know anything about the world yet while they had experienced it all. Though really, what did he experience? It wasn´t much.

It would be sad if he cared. He couldn´t know what he missed if he didn´t even know how to.

Choso decided to shake your hand, what did he have to lose? Maybe not all sorcerers were lying and manipulative scum.

If anyone could convince him it would be you.

He was looking at you as if to find evidence that would prove him wrong, anything, signs that this was a trap and not just a dream too good to be true.

In his life he learned not to trust things, feelings and people that were too good to be true. Cause they never were.

Sighing he relaxed in his seat and took part in the conversation, though he didn´t talk much. He never did, not really seeing the point in it. He never liked being the center of attention, preferring hearing others talk.

Yuuji reminded him of his brothers, he was full of hope, so optimistic still.

Maybe it was because of this place though, he didn´t seem like someone the elders could control like a puppet, telling him to kill every curse in his way.

No, he actually thought he could be a dear friend.

“Before I forget, I still need to cut your ties to Mahito” you told them, you didn´t like the thought of him finding this place.

“You can do that?” Eso asked curiously, so jujutsu had also improved since back then.

“Yeah, I just have to concentrate, but it´ll be over quickly” you remarked, focusing your cursed energy in your hand, forming it to a sharp blade. Then you turned your attention back to their energy, making out the ties that bound them to Mahito clearly, you held your breath as you carefully cut them. Though you were quick about it, not wanting to hurt them any more than they already have been.

Choso was very defendant as always, wanting to be the first one to be freed so that he could see if your technique was harmful or not.

He was more than surprised when he realized that it wasn´t. Why would someone like you help them?

Though maybe it was because of you, you really were special, huh?

“So now that we´re free again we should get a place to stay again. Do you have any recommendations, (Y/N)?” Eso asked you, they previously talked about how they would support you in defeating Mahito to free the curses from his chains.

It was strange to think that they would be able to have a life now. It´s been so long that theirs was taken away from them.

Eso wished he never went into the human village to make friends…

Though Choso never held it against him. No one did.

“Hmm, you could try it in the outskirts, most of the costumers live there, they have a little community there, it´s protected by a veil too. Everyone´s nice and would love to welcome you there” you smiled.

Your smile irritated Choso, why did you smile like that? As if everything was fine even though it clearly wasn´t? What were you trying to hide? Or were you just pretending? And for what? What use did it have?

He didn´t like people he couldn´t read, it made him uneasy.

“That sounds great, thank you so much. For everything” Eso said.

“I could show you around tomorrow actually! I´m only teaching the later lessons then” you offered.

So you were the friendly type, huh. Or were you? It could all still be a trap.

What even was that? A place where curses could live in peace? Yeah, right…

You´d have to be stupid to actually believe that.

Only later would he learn that you and the organization worked that hard so that it wouldn´t be a dream anymore.

“Well, it´s getting late. The kids should get back to the school. It was nice meeting you, I´ll see you tomorrow then” you announced, standing up with the students and being joined by Gojo who said goodbye to the owner.

Before leaving you were smiling at Choso again, was he just a joke to you? You did that on purpose, didn´t you? You really were an irritating individual.

“Thanks for joining us, Choso. It was nice to meet you” you said and sounded so genuine he almost believed it.

He just nodded until Eso nudged his side a bit to which he rolled his eyes.

“You´re not so bad either…” he gave in and once again was thankful for his brothers to get him out of his head.

Overthinking was easy, especially with a past such as unfortunate as theirs. But this wasn´t the past. Things changed. People changed.

“Man I never thought I´d be friends with a curse…” Yuuji laughed, his hands behind his head.

“See, I told you they´re not as bad as you think they are. Oh, Gojo, I´ll show them to the veil tomorrow, you go ahead and start teaching the reading technique” you reminded him and he nodded.

“Hmm I still think it´s too early for that, but alright. Who knows, maybe they´ll surprise us.” he answered, usually they would only learn this in their second year but why not? After all those kids had a lot of potential, he was sure they could do it.

Nobara exchanged contact information with Eso and made it her mission to spare some nail polish for him, maybe she would get to do his nails for him, it was nice to have someone with the same interests as her.

They went to sleep immediately after arriving since they were still drained from the mission while you and Gojo talked about everything that happened that day.

“If they manage they´ll be able to free other curses as well, we would get so much closer to our goal” you reminisced, a hopeful undertone in your voice.

“Don´t rush them. They´ll learn it in their own time” Gojo reminded you, he didn´t let it on oftentimes but he really did care about the children.

“Of course, I´ll see you tomorrow then” you waved goodbye and then went to your room.

Yeah, the kids would have it rough, there was no avoiding that. But you would try your best that they would only have it rough, not traumatizing and horrible.

It was the least you could do.

You thought back to Choso and his brothers, they were such a nice bunch and you couldn´t wait to meet them again tomorrow.

You were so happy that the students liked them too.

Sleep came easy to you that night, you just wished every day could be as peaceful as that.

Maybe you were living in a fantasy world that was so bright it made you lose any connection to reality, but you didn´t care. You would make it into a reality.

The next dame came quick, you were refreshed and ready for your mission.

Hurriedly getting ready and saying goodbye to Gojo and the students you made your way to the Dämmerlicht once again.

“Are you guys ready to go?” you asked, smiling the same way you did yesterday but somehow even more energetic.

The three brothers nodded, two more enthusiastically than the other. Choso still was on guard. And who could blame him? He didn´t want to trust you, didn´t want to repeat the same mistakes he made.

You were very adamant on changing that though, without meaning to that thought made him smile a bit.

Perhaps a little trust wasn´t all that bad.

On the way he looked around carefully, it was so loud and crowded, he didn´t like it one bit.

Choso was on edge until they arrived at the veil.

Everything had changed so much, there were so many new impressions that he couldn´t yet place.

It was just like back then, maybe even worse.

He could hear them whispering, he wasn´t wanted here, his brothers neither, at least he looked a bit human, it was so cruel… hurt so much.

Air.

He couldn´t breathe. Not that he needed to but still, it was so familiar, the breath in his lungs that was one of the few things left of his human side, he desperately clung to it.

It was his responsibility to provide for his brothers, to take care of them and he failed. He failed oh so miserably.

He always would… he wasn´t good for anything, why did he even exist? Nobody wanted him anyway.

No, quite the contrary, they wanted him and his brothers gone. They didn´t belong here, they never did. They were an anomaly, only born into this world to be killed.

If only it was enough that he died… his brothers were innocent, they would live in the shadows, not bothering anyone, they promised. Only spare them. Please.

I´m sorry, I´m so sorry. I´ll be good, I promise, I won´t cause any trouble, just please… don´t hurt us.

Choso was frozen in place, unable to move, unable to get out of his thoughts, his eyes were wide but he was looking through everything, his hands were shaking and his mouth was dry.

Help…

Somebody help him, anyone, he would do anything. Please just make it go away.

“Alright! There we are!” your chipper voice was like a hand reaching out to him, he desperately took it.

Thank you. Thank you so much. I owe you my life.

You didn´t notice that Choso was having a panic attack since you walked ahead, but you definitely saw the tension leave his body and his face relax as you turned around to them to show them inside.

Choso didn´t know what to expect of this place.

He had thought it would be dirty and horrible, like a ghetto for curses, but it wasn´t anything like that.

After entering the veil he saw a quieter version of what had happened outside. It was like a hidden town within the city.

Suddenly he felt at ease.

Looking around he saw houses just like he knew from back then, but also modern ones. There were all sorts of shops and a park, even a cinema.

It felt like a dream.

“There are a few empty houses near the woods, but we also have an apartment building is you prefer that. Just make yourselves at home” you smiled and for once Choso was grateful for it, if you smiled it meant everything was alright.

Everything would be fine. They were safe.

You showed them around and talked about everything, told them who they should ask about the living situation and such.

“Can we really live freely like this?” Choso asked, he wanted to wish they could, wanted to be hopeful but he knew where that led.

“Well, I wish you could live with us, but that´s way in the future. For now we´re all working together so that you can at least have peace and quiet here. You shouldn´t have to hide, but anything else is impossible right now. People fear what they don´t understand. And vengeful spirits are born from that fear, they could destroy everything we have worked so hard for” you sighed. It just wasn´t fair. You hated how you practically contained them, that it was the only solution you could come up with.

You had failed.

It was hard for you to see this place in a positive way.

Sure, the curses that lived here were happy and free, they built an own community, stood together and it was beautiful. But there was so much more out there that they couldn´t enjoy and it made you mad.

You smiled and waved to some curses you knew.

“Thank you for showing us here, it´s nice to know that we can have a place to live in peace” Eso smiled.

“No problem at all! At least it´s a beginning…” you shrugged, hoping you would be able to make it even better for them.

The three bothers talked among themselves a bit, deciding that Eso and Kechizu would go ahead and talk to the curse in charge already to get a place to stay.

Choso told them to be careful and then turned to you.

“Why are you even doing all of this? Didn´t your people tell you we´re monsters and dangerous?” he asked, this has been on his mind from the beginning and quite frankly irritated him.

“Yes, they did. They tried to make you out to be the bad guys. But I always asked myself: if the monster is under my bed, isn´t it scared too? Doesn´t the monster feel just the same as I do? What makes us different? If it´s already near me why shouldn´t I make friends with it? Besides, my teachers really didn´t do a good job at the whole hate speech against you. I mean they tell you that every curse is evil and then teach you how to read cursed energy” you laughed and shook your head. Yeah, the elders and leaders of the clans were stupid. So was the whole clan system. It was so old already and yet nobody dared defy them. Because they were wiser than them apparently.

You always hated the hierarchy of old people sticking to what´s been taught to them. After all things changed. You had to adapt to and accept it, not just keep going with your old traditions and teachings.

“You know that way of thinking gets you killed, right? You can´t just say that every curse is good. Why do you so desperately want to believe in the good in people? Especially when they´re moved by fear and greed?” Choso questioned. Sure you seemed convinced enough and did the right thing, but still, was it worth dying for?

“Because I´ve seen so many people suffer from my kind, sure some curses are bad, but only some. My whole world is corrupt and based on lies. How can you expect me to stand by idly?”

Choso smirked at your words.

“Keep that attitude. If people like you existed back then…” he started, almost trailing off.

“Never mind. You do now, that´s all that matters” he stated, seeming lost in thought.

You didn´t want to pry so you stayed quiet.

“Thank you. For trusting me. I know how weird this all must be for you, thank you for giving it a chance” you smiled, though this time it was more soft and gentle.

“Well, if you´re taking a step towards us, I might as well take one towards you” he said, he no longer was on edge.

Now you understood what his brothers meant when they said he was kind.

“I have to get to work, but I´ll drop by later to see how everything´s going!” you waved goodbye and went back to the school.

In the following weeks you spent a lot of time with the brothers, helping them move in with your students. Nobara brought a lot of decoration that she didn´t need anymore and also the promised nail polish. Eso and her would spend the day shopping in the small clothing shops on the main marketplace while Megumi, Yuuji and Kechizu carried the moving boxes and furniture.

Choso and you did the rest of the organizational things.

During those weeks you learned more about him and grew closer, he had a calm presence that you liked being in.

He didn´t talk much, but when he did it was heartfelt, you really appreciated that about him.

And he told you about his past, about the human village they wanted to visit. His little brothers wanted to make friends there even though he had warned them about it. But instead of going after them, he left them alone. They returned home heavily injured. They were lucky that there was no sorcerer in town back then.

Since then they were moving a lot, never being able to stay in one place, too scared of being cast out or even worse. Sorcerers were omnipresent to them.

And even though Choso was being more careful than ever, he made one big mistake.

He trusted someone he really shouldn´t have, being invited to the village where the citizens even talked to his brothers before sealing them, giving them false hope and betraying their trust.

Sorcerers were the worst.

But you convinced him otherwise, showed him that there were others like you, who wanted to live with them, who not only tolerated them, but actually liked them.

You really were special, weren´t you?

At first he didn´t think anything about it, it was normal to spend that much time with a person, wasn´t it?

Still his brothers wouldn´t stop teasing him about his apparent crush on you. He didn´t know how to react, after all he never had a crush before, love and relationships were the last thing on his mind.

How did you even notice these things? Even Nobara teased him about it whenever she came over, but also told him that you were in the same boat.

He was glad that Yuuji was there too, he at least understood him and didn´t make him only more confused than he already was.

So what if he enjoyed your presence a tad bit more than he did everyone else´s? That didn´t have to mean anything.

Though now that the thought was inside his head, he just became hyper aware of it.

Nobara told Eso about a new ice cream place that would open inside the veil soon and how they needed to go there with everyone.

“Choso you should really ask (Y/N) out already, that´s the perfect place to go!” she encouraged him, but he just sighed.

“I never had ice cream before” he admitted, though it was more of a neutral statement, shocking Nobara and Yuuji.

“No way! You need to change that immediately!” Yuuji said.

“Yeah, that´s a crime!” Nobara added in the instance you walked in.

You were used to the commotion already, if you were being honest you liked it. If the kids were so at ease and comfortable everything would be fine.

“What is?” you questioned after joining them.

“Choso never had ice cream before, can you believe that?” Nobara told you, still in shock.

“Really? We need to change that” you said determined.

“If you say so, how about now? I could use some fresh air” he smiled, he would take any chance to be alone with you, especially after such an embarrassing conversation. Maybe they were right after all. But what should he do about that?

“Is it really that weird that I never had ice cream?” he asked, not understanding why everyone made such a big deal out of it.

“Hmm not really actually. I mean it´s so usual for us since we´ve grown up with it, but you´re from a different world, so it´s not surprising. But I have a feeling you´ll like it” you smiled.

“Everyone just talked about a new shop that opened… do you maybe wanna go there?” he said, thinking a bit and then taking a deep breath of courage before uttering his next word: “As a date?”.

You blinked twice, looking at him questioning, did he really just say that? It wasn´t just your imagination? It was so sudden but you couldn´t say you minded that in the least.

On the contrary, it excited you. “I´d really like that” you said, smiling the same way you only did when you were around him.

So he didn´t just imagine that, maybe his siblings were right, they were definitely more perceptive than he was when it came to such things.

“Heh, my first date. Just a warning though, I´m not good when it comes to those things, so please don´t be too disappointed with me” he told you, after all he didn´t know how he was supposed to behave now, was there anything he should do different?

“Don´t worry about that, you can´t disappoint me. I´m just really glad to be able to spend time with you. I… I like you a lot, Choso” you admitted to which he smiled. Usually he didn´t smile so openly, but with you he just couldn´t stop.

You made him do things he normally wouldn´t and somehow he enjoyed that way more than he thought he should.

It wasn´t a long walk to the ice cream place and it was almost empty too, which was nice.

“There are a bunch of different flavors, you can choose whatever you want” you smiled, telling him about your favorite flavors.

“I think I´ll try vanilla first” he said after looking at the menu.

You nodded and ordered for both of you, you decided to walk around the park a bit, the weather was really nice today.

Choso was a bit hesitant to try it, it was so cold… but then again it probably was supposed to be. He watched you eat your ice cream and wondered if your teeth didn´t hurt from all the cold.

Before it could melt though, you had warned him about that, he tried it.

It was something he never experienced before, yes, it was cold, but somehow that didn´t make his mouth numb like he feared.

Instead it melted in his mouth, the flavor was so simple yet immaculate.

“And? How is it?” you asked curiously. “I think I like it. It´s a weird texture but… it´s fun to eat” he chuckled slightly, imagining how stupid he must sound to you right now.

But he didn´t care.

It was you after all, you would never hold it against him.

No, you were excited and happy that he was having fun. You two decided that you would try a lot of new things together.