#this diatribe is a surprise tool to help us later‼️‼️‼️‼️

[twig-gy]

so i already know it’s going to be like. a collection of scenes. but

1) longterm. how will we make scenes interesting every time? how will we make the relationship develop and make that clear? i can’t just have ‘argument-slightly okay interaction-argument’ the whole (pun) time i need to think it through a little.

okay so aside here: once as one of my extremely few longfics i was writing fic called ‘love-hate’ which is basically soulmate au where you can’t think ill of your soulmate/not for long at least so it would be bkdk developing into an extremely toxic relationship. and i REALIZED. i wasn’t actually developing the relationship meaningfully! i was just making deku angst scenes! which like okay, cool, but That Was Not The Point. so i find it cool that these projects are basically ‘a collection of scenes showing how whatever relationship develops without focus on A Plot or anything’. and i need to learn from that and make my scenes more directed which will be hard because I Hate Outlining. No. but sometimes i do need to think it through!! which is what i’m doing rn!!

2) shortterm WHAT SCENE IS COMING NEXT. HELP. AAA. ooo wait i could break up the mind-heart interaction with mind asking help for once….. however i feel mind would only Ask For Help at some sort of breaking point. that has to be a climactic moment i think……..

okay so what To Do Then. well obviously he attempts to put his new thesis of ‘don’t bully heart every millisecond of the day’ in practice. but in what way does he do that, also make that interesting perhaps????? hmmm maybe like he tries to help heart out of depression instead of diss track

also Side Note. pretty sure this is ooc. like in Just Apathy he’s trying to help heart? but no actually, rembering just apathy i don’t think that was really true??? aughhh i’m remembering why i hate writing because CHARACTERIZATION. i’m so scared and afraid i cannot write the thing in a way which is canon* so.

anyway let’s try to get back to point 2. shortterm. because i need to write something. well should i actually try to outline scenes???? i Really do not want to. outlining = distasteful (such a mind word btw).

so i don’t have to post this so i’ll just have a few basic ideas of what could transpire

mind realizes maybe bullying bad idea, instead try to coax heart -> possibly go back to old patterns/instinctively argue/forgor his thesis

i mean like. what will i get out of This Scene In Specific. that’s probably an important question. like how is this scene going to help the “”plot””?

i don’t want to think about this ughh why do I have to ask Myself these questions. ug i guess i’ll just find out for myself /reference

an easy idea is just. he realizes this Is Not Going To Be Ez GG. so there’s that. is that enough for a scene? hm

or just have him like. boiling with repressed anger the entire time as he tries to Interact Normally. just the whole time he’s like ‘okay he’s fine. i’m fine. i shouldn’t insult him. i need to remain calm and cordial. okay. this is fine’. that would be a teeheemaxxing idea

i think we’ve reached the Main Question, the longterm question again, ‘how will we make scenes interesting every time? how will we make the relationship develop and make that clear?’ because i need to figure that out if we’re to find that golden hue /reference Okay unnecessary reference aside. we need to figure that out if we are going to figure out the scene’s purpose. so we need to somehow show a sense of growth through the whole (pun) fic

okay but How. could you please imagine a big whiteboard right now. and the only thing on it is the word ‘HOW?’ circled thrice in very big handwriting. jeez guys this is a lil tricky….. a lil difficult, an unreal question if you will, hard to figure out, catastrophically challenging (2 at the same time!), not a medium amount of hard, horrific and nowhere near easy… i’m going insane it’s just so terrifying, even tho i know that’s an extreme reaction, i can’t help it being intense bc this question is just so remorseless and i hope i don’t have to cut my hopes down to nil….

so if you didn’t get that completely unnecessary reference those were jtoh difficulty names bc jtoh difficulties are easy (a bit harder than mega fun obby), medium (ooo wraps?? whar??), hard (okay getting a bit tricky now..), difficult (this is where it starts to get real with all the jumps), challenging (actually becoming spooky now), intense (big jump from challenging), remorseless (gameplay becomes even tighter, ridiculous wraps), and then sc difficulties which are insane, extreme, terrifying, and catastrophic, then we have the difficulties so hard they aren’t canon: horrific, unreal, nil

diatribe aside i need to get answer. i kinda just wanna Write And Then Figure It Out but it’s not like answers will miraculously appear to me that way???

hm. so i was planning to have them have lots of difficulties (pun) with this, setbacks, and i was trying to think of a way to justify that… but maybe i don’t have to give each and every one a purpose, besides showing … well that it’s hard! and that they’ve been arguing for so long it’s hard to figure out how not to. and that even when you’re trying your best, you can still lapse into old, destructive patterns, but that doesn’t mean you’ve failed, nor that your progress has gone away. there’s still hope, there always is. you’re trying, and that’s all you need at the end of the day

and this is fanfic, which like. i don’t have to give every scene a reason? that sounds bad but well. i don’t have to be so serious about it?

what i’ve learned from this diatribe: writing is hard and i am confused

if you read it all and are interested in what i’m writing PLEASE SAY SOMETHING I LOVE PEER VALIDATION‼️‼️‼️‼️ also go to my ao3 if you dare………….