#this does not apply to people who stake him or drive him off for roleplaying purposes and are normal about it

[lets-go-hurt-someone]

Just sitting here thinking about the StakeBros (as they have been dubbed on Reddit) who come out of the woodwork to tell you they killed Astarion whenever they see any mention of him.

Like it’s wild to me that these boys (it’s always boys) will see people discussing a character and feel the absolute overwhelming need to make sure you know they killed the flamboyant elf. I assume they are afraid not killing the flamboyant elf will make them seem gay? Why else are you feeling some type of way about this, my guy?

Anyway given that Astarion fans tend to be women, and not only that, but also people who identify with him as a sexual assault and abuse survivor — there’s so much irony in dudebros seeing that and thinking “This is about me. This is definitely about me and my need to be very straight, these people (mostly women) are definitely interested in how straight I am in comparison to this pixel man.”

Babes, shut up and listen for five seconds and you might learn something shocking. It’s called self-reflection!! Try it!!!! Astarion actually has this whole character arc related to it if you can just cool your jets and not kill the guy whose face is on the cover of the game you bought…

I know this is a bit “local woman learns gamer guys can be tone deaf idiots, more at 11” but it still amazes me. I am lucky enough to live in a small progressive city and play dnd with chill normal adult men, so sometimes I take a peek out of my box and get scared for y’all.