#this doesnt even touch on my feelings of young lgbt's 'clocking' other queers in public with pronoun questions and limp wristing

[hungry-hobbits]

i'm saying this as an almost 30yr old person who has kinda come to terms w the fact that i'll probably never be properly gendered in public and am at peace with it: BUT i think a lot of trans people are too hyped up over the idea that you have to be gendered correctly by everyone you ever meet, no matter how briefly, or they automatically have bad intentions - which isn't always the case because unfortunately you're not the main character and people are gonna make mistakes (yes that includes people close to you because everyone slips-up)

people get so hung up over casual, unintentional, and well-meaning misgendering, and are so quick to categorize it with the purposeful, blatant, bigoted type of misgendering when its really like - the old lady scooting past you in the grocery store calling you ma'am/sir out of politeness towards a stranger while she says 'excuse me' is probably not doing a microaggression towards you believe it or not

if theyre doing it maliciously then yes obviously you can feel bad about it, i'm not saying that at all, but its like when sam smith talked about how they were gonna be misgendered til the day they died; it's a hard thing to accept but you gotta accept it if you literally wanna get through any interaction with strangers ever