#this has no real context sorry I’m just thinking ab their love languages…

[sunnibits]

stede ‘gift giving’ bonnet vs izzy ‘acts of service’ hands, FIGHT

[allbeendonebefore]

What are your favourite head/canon things about Alberta

[cracks knuckles] [stretches fingers]

so i’ll just start with a disclaimer - i use sherry’s/iamp/whatever alberta and i realize ive been getting a lot of followers who are part of rp groups and whatever or people who might be interested in adding some depth to their own ocs so feel free to like… think about these things if you want if you’re thinking of doing an alberta oc?? I guess

so since that mysterious slash implies what are my fave canonical things about AB too I’ll say that there isn’t much- I go with what sherry says on canon rather than IAMP and PC because while there are a lot of things I had influence over in both projos there are a lot of things I would have done differently so we’ll start with the bio

Canon Stuff

literally all the things are accurate sooo its hard lol. Obviously the political situation has changed and the economic situation is its usual rollercoaster (WELL… but thats another time). I gotta say that the ‘alberta beef is the best thing that’s ever happened to me’ is really hitting home right now because i didnt realize how SPOILED i was by AAA beef until I got to Ontario ToT (ngl the pork here is super good and saves me money but the BEEF aAAA)

also my edmonton bias shines through at ‘he hates a part of himself called calgary’ thats by far my second fave B)))

Headcanon Stuff

ok where to start I will try to not make this an essay and i can elaborate more if you’re curious

- a lot of people will wonder about whether a province lives in the capital or the biggest city etc. and I have to say in Bertie’s case it is NEITHER. He’d never willingly live in (d)E(a)dmonton (sorry ed ilu) because Ed represents Government which he Hates and while he would spend a fair bit of time in Calgary he gets claustrophobic/exhausted - he still in my mind represents more of the rural bits of the province than the cities. I think he might move around a little, but he probably lives on a ranch between both cities but within sight of the mountains. I’m sure he has a place to stay in each city, but he’s a country boy at heart and appreciates his space, peace and quiet. 

- Particularly space because Where else is he going to keep his 3 trucks + 2 ATVs + horses + 100000 cows + boat + canoe + kayak + all his camping junk + motorbikes + dirtbikes + tractor + other junk that people leave at his place

- that said his ‘birthplace’ is the southern ‘half’ of the province so he tends to kind of hover around there more- as i said he owns a ranch rather than a farm because the Quality Ranch Land is in the south and the Good Farm Land is in the north (and being eaten up by ugly houses ugh)

- still I think he spends a fair amount of time working up north in the Fort Mac area because Why Not make All the money. Even if you’re a rancher boy in the middle of nowhere, everyone in this province has ties to the oil industry one way or another. It wouldn’t make sense for him NOT to work in Oil and Gas because it’s literally the only job in the province lmao.

- His driving playlist consists of: Dean Brody, Corb Lund, Keith Urban, Ian Tyson, and the obligatory Nickelback which he listens to Un-ironically but also to piss off/drown out passengers when they’re annoying him

- He’s easily annoyed. By Everything. And Everyone. He’s the current national scapegoat and he takes it Extremely Personally depending on the context but also he has a relatively affectionate relationship with everyone and usually expresses his affection by pointed jabs. 

- like he literally gets along with everyone on a personal level and not just because he buys them drinks- his worst relationships are probably with BC and Ontario and that’s just because he lives to irritate them and they respond with an appropriate amount of salt. He still doesnt mind hanging out with them and bc/ab/on/qc is an unstoppable team. He just gets extremely sensitive when anyone asks to borrow money from him and will give you an earful of ‘i work SO HARD for this money to put FOOD on YOUR TaBLe’

- generally really tight fisted with money………. only when other people are looking. he makes a big deal about how little he spends on essential services and you just look at him like ‘so you’re saying you have the money to get all this crap for this rodeo coming up but you dont have the money to take yourself to the hospital after’ and hes like [coughs up blood anime style] ‘im ok i have whiskey and benadryl at home’ [adjusts his diamond studded hat]

- really big on loyalty and straightforward conversations and has NO patience for any hypocrisy or doublespeak no matter how small. The slightest of things can send him reeling with Betrayal. Also this makes him either tight lipped or TMI, there is no in between. 

- like literally reeling he’s very top heavy and you could blow him over with a sneeze, he’s all bark and only some bite. When he’s good he’s Real Good but when he’s bad he’s like a foot in the grave bad

- he’s the baby of the prairie bros but also the one with the brains- and i don’t mean in an academic sense i mean in the ‘so crazy it just might work’ sense. 

- literally he’s an idiot he doesnt understand how equalization payments work no matter how many times you explain it to him. He doesn’t understand a lot of things re: the economy but he never shuts up about them. 

- the easiest way to piss him off is to threaten his autonomy in any way, he will stop whatever he’s doing to put a boot up yer ass if you Dare suggest something like ‘why don’t you let ontario/canada take care of that for you’ even if he knows the way he’s doing something is garbage he will go out of his way to keep doing it because its ‘my way or the highway’. 

- ‘why do you have all those guns’ ‘oh you know hunting deer and stuff’ [really its because he’s terrified a rat is going to sneak into his barn or something] [but he does actually hunt] [and he’s the type of guy to have the ‘trespassers will be shot’ signs]

- I haven’t figured out WHAT truck he drives yet but i am PROUD OF HIM for no longer putting truck nuts on it, THANK GOD that went out of fashion. (That said he does not have the stacks- his truck is lifted and Shiny and also has a handful of Alberta Strong decals/stickers.) Newf probably gave him a sticker of “The Rock” or a nfld flag and he Loves it. On a scale of most to least obnoxious trucks its Mac - Bert - Cal - Ed. It’s probably a white truck.

- i should think about things he loves more, this headcanon list is mostly things that make him angry oops xDD he loves animals a lot, and not just to eat i swear. The bigger and the more horns the better.

- he really loves driving a lot, it’s like a big part of his independence factor. I think sometimes he will just drive aimlessly late at night/early morning when it’s not busy and just go and find somewhere to look at the sky.

- he looooves digging up fossils in his spare time, or just interesting rocks in general. If you say the words animatronic dinosaur he is ALREADY THERE

- he watches a lot of sci fi and really loves star trek. So Much. he’s totally attempted mowing crop circles in his lawn/fields probably multiple times. he’s still waiting for the ufos to come land. Also has a thing for spooky places and cryptids and those weird inexplicable twilight-zone like events that only happen on road trips. did i mention the Giant Roadside Attractions. 

- he has this persona of being a traditional/small-and-big-c conservative but he’s actually really into innovation and trying new things, meeting new people, etc. He interacts with so many different people lately that he’s trying to take the time to really re-evaluate himself and move away from the Klein-era “Severely Normal People” image because it doesn’t reflect him. The issue is he’s more likely to vote on economy rather than social issues so his actual progressiveness gets hidden by lack of political representation (and lets be honest he has Always hated politics). He’s got a lot of crap to sort through but he catches people who underestimate him off guard.

- was probably raised methodist/protestant/whatever but is mostly pretty secular, but he has some definite strong holdovers that make him uncomfortable about certain subjects and his first reaction to being uncomfortable is always anger.

- completely oblivious to being hit on or something or really gay situations around him but is that type of person who is like [cant walk too close to another dude because what if it looks gay bro].

- his fave cow is named buttercup

- he has definitely woken up after a night out with friends naked and alone duct taped to an air mattress and floating in the middle of a lake. true story. 

- he will macgyver his way out of any situation. doesn’t mind getting down and dirty in the mud when it’s necessary. exactly the type of person to shove his hands in bitumen and squish it around or to pick up a rock and lick it or to shove a thermometer up a cow. When he gets squeamish he does his best to be bullheaded and pretend like Nothing is Wrong until he faints. 

- his french is crap but he Tries- the french he knows is backwater northern AB french which he’s too shy to bring up so he feigns ignorance. His german is good and his ukrainian is passable, his spanish is fine, he’s trying to get the hang of some other languages but doesn’t tell anyone he’s practicing because he hates getting made fun of xD

- the hat and boots are Absolutely to make him look taller than he actually is. He doesn’t wear inserts but he does make sure the sole/heel on any boot he buys is Thick. Smol insecure man with a Big hat. Will spend 300 bucks on shoes, but he actually does ride/work so its an investment for him. 

- heads to Arizona/Mexico in the winter when he’s not working, otherwise Banff/Jasper are his ‘budget’ vacations lol. 

i love this stupid province pls ask if you have any more questions because i love to talk and i feel like i’ve said too much already lol

[hiddlesfashion]

#TodayInHiddleHistory

January 30, 2014: the March issue of Elle UK was released featuring Tom Hiddleston A God Among Men. 

A video posted by The Fashion of Tom Hiddleston (@hiddlesfashion) on Jan 30, 2017 at 5:50am PST

full interview below 

Tom Hiddleston: A god among men?

Hollywood A-lister, ELLE writer, YouTube sensation – Tom Hiddleston’s cult status is evident on every platform. And, as ELLE’s Annabel Brog discovers, he’s not afraid of revealing, well, everything.​

When ELLE’s Editor-in-Chief Lorraine Candy was at Wimbledon last year, she rather naively tweeted afterwards: ‘I sat next to actor Tom Hiddleston and his girlfriend Jane. He’s a very funny man.’ She has never – bear in mind this is a mother of four who edits a fashion magazine, which puts her high on a certain demographic hit-list – been trolled like it. The responses veered between righteous fury that she had outed Hiddleston as being ‘With Girlfriend’, and rather bloodthirsty expressions of envy that she had, you know, talked to him.

Tom Hiddleston inspires fervour in his fans. He’s an extraordinary actor who has won universal acclaim – his roles include feckless Prince Hal in the BBC’s The Hollow Crown; sweet, doomed Captain Nicholls in Spielberg’s War Horse; and currently the blood-drenched warrior Coriolanus at the Donmar Ware- house – but it’s his performance as pallid, sociopathic god of mischief Loki in the Thor and Avengers Assemble films that catapulted him into the stratosphere. To put it in context: Hiddleston recently donated a pair of signed Converse to the Small Steps charity auction, alongside the likes of Mick Jagger and Kate Moss. His shoes sold for £4,500 (more than anyone else’s). He is very appreciative of the interest, while simultaneously being uncomfortable with the idea of fame. ‘Do I like it? It’s sort of inconsequential in a way, a weird corollary to everything else I’ve done. I cannot tell you how surprising it is. It’s like, really? REALLY? I honestly try not to think about it too much.’

We are nestled under a heater in the beer garden of a north-west London pub on a chilly December evening. Hiddleston is drinking whiskey, which is part of my cunning strategy to break him down – he has always given me the impression of being very prepared in interviews – but it doesn’t work. After five shots, he remains entirely in control.

Nonetheless, he is rather adorable: ferociously bright (he went to Eton, then Cambridge, where he got a double first), earnest ('I know. I’m sorry. I can’t help it’), obliging, and old-fashioned. Partly that’s his classical- ly handsome face, partly it’s his impeccable manners, and partly it’s the way he constructs his sentences.

Describing his favourite book, William Boyd’s Any Human Heart, for instance, he says, 'Like all life, it contains multitudes’; or, on opening up to new people, 'I fear I am initially quite private.’ When he is sure of his subject – talking about work, family, culture – he is eloquent and assertive. When he is less certain – typically on the subject of himself – his voice rises slightly in inadvertent questions: 'I’m solitary [but] I don’t think that’s a good thing, I think I’m better in company?’ Or: 'I know that there’s this thinking capacity, which is possibly not a good thing?’

Tom William Hiddleston is 33 (on 9 February, to be precise), a middle child with one sister 15 months older, and another five years younger. His childhood sounds like a simple, pleasurable place. 'I have memories of climbing trees and watching The Snowman, with David Bowie introducing it in his snowman scarf.’ He starts to laugh. 'When I actually learned who David Bowie was, I was like, “That’s the man from The Snowman”. And people were: “Never say that again. That’s Ziggy Stardust. Shut up!”’

His parents are incredibly proud of him: 'It’s taken us a while to get there. It’s one of those conversations I don’t have with them, but I just know that they are [proud]. If we [he and his mother] start talking about it, we will both collapse in a heap of tears. It’s moving to make your mother proud.’

Growing up surrounded by women has had a glorious effect on his view of them. 'I believe in the strength and intelligence and sensitivity of women. My mother, my sisters [they] are strong. My mum is a strong woman and I love her for it.’ He is also – praise the Lord for men like Hiddleston – very romantic. When asked about love and relationships, he simply says, 'Honesty is a gift – to be honest about who you are and how you feel – because it encourages intimacy, and intimacy is really where’s it at. To be known and know someone is an amazing feeling, and you don’t get there if you’re pretending to be anyone else.’

Hiddleston voices Captain Hook in Disney’s Tinker Bell And The Pirate Fairy (out this month), and has a high-impact cameo in Muppets Most Wanted. But his next lead in a film is in an homage to both strong women and love. Only Lovers Left Alive is an enchanting, funny, somnolent Jim Jarmusch project in which he plays Adam, a 500-year-old vampire rock star with suicidal leanings. 'Adam is a delicate soul,’ says Tom. Adam is, indeed, delicate, but he is also (and this is where Tom’s gift for comedy comes into play) sweet and entirely useless, a reclusive musician suffering the despair of being eternal. Think undead My Chemical Romance fan. He stars opposite Tilda Swinton, who he says is just like her giddy, optimistic character, Eve. 'She’s the most beautiful woman in the world, and it’s seemingly effortless. She’s very, very warm. Tilda and I would be laughing sometimes and Jim would come in and say [he adopts a lazy Ohio drawl]: “Taaammmm, you smile a lot, man. And Adam doesn’t smile so much.”’ He also loved the purity of the love story. 'Adam is so deeply flawed, and depressive, and melancholic. But Eve just loves it, loves his commitment to it. We were trying to make a film about acceptance. And true love is an acceptance of someone else for who they are.’

So Hiddleston is clever, eloquent, charming, sensitive and earnest. But then there’s that other side, the spontaneous and silly side, best seen on YouTube, where he has become an inadvertent sensation due to the fact that 'I don’t know what my boundaries are, I just say yes to things’.

That’s how he ended up throwing some serious shapes on Alan Carr: Chatty Man, which, for the record, was 1) not planned: 'I promise I had no idea I was going to do that’; and 2) the genuine Hiddleston disco experience: 'If you asked me to dance now, it would be the same moves. That’s my dance.’ He can also be seen sing- ing Michael Jackson’s Man In The Mirror on Korean TV, because the talk show host asked him which part of his body he had most confidence in and he said his voice. (And, yes, he was tempted to say something smutty: 'I’m English, so I’m dirty.’) His own favourite clip features him teaching the Cookie Monster a lesson in delayed gratification. ('Are you saying if me wait, me going to get cookie?’) 'I’m proud that I’ve met him.

He’s the Cookie Monster, a cultural icon. My mum loves it and my niece loves it. She’s two years old and she thinks there’s nothing illogical about Uncle Tom speak- ing to the Cookie Monster.’

So when we meet for the second time, after he comes off stage at the Donmar, I am tempted to see if the no-boundaries thing is for real. There is beer involved (the man can drink) and a line of questioning veering from the absurd to the inappropriate. Put it this way, he’s a very good sport…

Annabel Brog: Will you throw me your best insults? 

Tom Hiddleston: [Laughs] Why are we doing the insult game?

AB: Just go with it, I can take it.

TH: Um. 'You utter, utter [with increasing emphasis], utter c**k’ is good.

AB: I just wondered if foul language, delivered beauti- fully, sounds less foul. Which, in fact, it does.

TH: When I get angry with myself, when I forget lines, I’ll be like, 'You absolute f **king f **k c**k b***ocks p**s f **k. You, you… f **ker’.

AB: You say that to yourself ?

TH: Yes.

AB: How do you feel afterwards?

TH: I feel better! The word f **k is enormously satisfying. 

AB: OK, I am going to describe teenage Tom to you and you are going to tell me how accurate I am.

TH: [Grins] OK.

AB: I’ve realised this may be quite insulting. Please remember it’s only a game.

TH: That’s totally fine. It may well be more favourable than the truth.

AB: Teenage Tom wasn’t uncomfortable with girls, but he didn’t get to touch one for quite some time. First kiss, 16.

TH: NO! [Emphatic] First kiss 10! Yes, 10 years old, tongues and everything. [Laughs] She was a huge crush, we were in the same class, a lot of note swap- ping, and eventually it all went down in a cricket pavilion on an autumn night. It was very thrilling.

AB: I got it so wrong.

TH: I was sometimes quite alarmed by friends of mine at school who didn’t have sisters, the way they treated girls, the way they spoke about them… I was like, 'Guys, they’re not aliens, they’re human beings.’

AB: You hear stories about Eton schoolboys, and the fan girls who line the cricket pitches when they play… TH: I don’t relate to that at all. I didn’t have a serious relationship until I was about 19. I fell head over heels in love and I was with her for two years, and it was an amazing relationship. So I don’t know who those girls are, who line the cricket pitches.

AB: How would you describe yourself as a boyfriend?

TH: Very honest, I hope. God, I don’t know. I hope I’m fun, I hope I’m a good time. Sponta- neous, surprising, affectionate? I hope, kind. Dancing… a lot of dancing. I insist upon dancing. Anywhere. Anytime. The more dancing, the better.

AB: [Referring to an incident last year when Tom, on a press call with Swinton for Only Lovers Left Alive, was photographed in a revealingly tight trousers] Cannes. Trousergate. Discuss.

TH: Trousergate?

AB: Please tell me you know what I am referring to.

TH: What are you… I genuinely don’t know what you’re talking about. Cannes?

AB: Oh God, really? Oh no. OK, OK, shall we move on? 

TH: [Squeaky] What’s trousergate? [Clears throat] Trousergate…

AB: Maybe I should just get it up on the iPhone and show it to you.

TH: OK, get it up on the phone.

[AB types 'Tom Hiddleston Cannes’ into Google Images and hands him the phone]

TH: [Slowly] Ohhhhhh heavens…

AB: It has a Tumblr account and everything.

TH: Oh God. [Laughing but horrified] How monumentally shaming! What does one say to something like that? What do I say? Do I need to explain it? I don’t think I can.

AB: Would you like to move on from this subject? 

TH: Maybe. Yes…

AB: OK.

TH: [Determined] Look, I had a very interesting experience going to Cannes. An airplane in Heathrow caught fire and they shut down the whole airport. There were no tickets on Eurostar. All the flights from Gatwick were booked. So I got in a taxi and drove to Dover. I got on the ferry at 2am, with people on the booze cruise, and students going on hockey tours, got to Calais at 5am, another taxi to Paris airport, flew to Nice, landed about 11.30am, went through customs, got in another cab and drove to straight to THAT photo call, where THAT picture was taken, having changed in the car on the way there. So I think I look all right, for someone who’s been up all night.

AB: You look great. [Long pause] It’s just a shame no one’s looking at your face.

TH: [Laughs] They’re looking at Tilda! That’s what they’re looking at.

You can’t really profile Tom Hiddleston without going there on his looks. He is, in the flesh, a deter- mined and imposing physical presence. If you have seen his Coriolanus – raging with pride and betrayal – you will know this, and on the ELLE shoot it is evident most when we film him running. Hiddleston has a fine-looking run. He may look like a matinee idol; he may speak like a 19th century poet; but watch him run and you are suddenly very aware that he is 21st century man. It would be nice, I suggest, to see him in a role that’s unquestioningly modern. 'I would really like to,’ he says. 'I’m knocking at the door, honestly.’

As expected, he is game for anything on our shoot. He hurls plastic chairs across the warehouse, he sprints down Scrubs Lane, and he scares the crap out of the whole team by leaping over the railing of a 10-foot stair- case, which would have ended his Coriolanus run rather spectacularly if it went wrong. At the end of the day, Hiddleston is hard to pin down. He tells me a story,about a spontaneous, solo trip he took to Hawaii after he flew to LA to audition for a part he didn’t get.

'I went canoeing with whales, ran around the island, climbed the volcanoes. There's this beach where all the surfers go to challenge themselves, the waves are like 30 feet high, and I was introduced to this lifeguard by some landscape gardeners I met. We were watching these kite surfers and I was in awe, frankly, of their courage and I said, "Why would you do that? It's so dangerous." And he looked at me with this amazing, generous smile and said [adopts a US accent]: "They're just trying to answer the same question we're all trying to answer, man." And I said: "What question is that?" And he said: "Is it enough?"'

So there you have it. Tom Hiddleston: big talent, big laugh, big thinker, non-planner, great dancer. In his own beautifully phrased words, he is 'just as complex and contradictory as everyone on this planet'. Or, in our rather more base words, pretty damn hot.