#this ill just put sam to avoid any spoilers. she's growing on me the more we progress throughout the story and i get the feeling that

[revserrayyu]

One HSR Character a Day Day 15: Firefly

[a-baleful-howl]

I’m about to go full-on petty mode. So if you don’t care about my personal gloating and back-patting, scroll on by lol

This post contains spoilers for episode 1 of season 8, and also spoilers for my fic The Lone Wolf Dies.

I recognize this post is really only for me. I’m a salty bitch.

This is fanart the wonderful and lovely @cathcacen drew for me when I was at my lowest and receiving the most hate I’ve ever gotten for a fic. 

I ranted about it for a bit, deleted the worst of the flames I could off of FFN, and I haven’t actually been back to FFN since this all happened. Don't think I havent noticed the love and support I got from the JonsaFam, either. I very much appreciated it, and I know many people enjoyed my fic (and are begging me to finish it...).

Here’s some highlights of the comments I received on FFN accusing me of being “unrealistic” or of committing “character assassination” (sad thing is, these aren’t even the worst reviews I got):

“Arya would never let Sansa or the Northern Lords do that to Jon[...]This story is making Jon a bit of a wimp and Arya willing to betray him even though she loves him more than Sansa.” [saphirablue25 on chapter 1]

“Another story about Jonsa, and Anti-Dany, and pro-norte and pro-stark? these crap stories are becoming common since season 7.[...]and this kind of stories, without any artistic or literary value, just deserve to be vilified. is just another excuse to be myopic and criticize character without reason, especially when it is already something practically canon that Jon / Daenerys will be in the books too, as one producer of the HBO series said, who was told George Martin. waste of time.” [flayjunior15 on chapter 1]

“this story is rubbish, more crap without sense…” [guest on chapter 1]

“This is character assassination. Arya Stark would never betray Jon Snow; no matter what;[...]Of course now it’s a Jon and Sansa pairing ignoring everything that happened in season 7 b/c why not?[...] The leaps you Jonsa writers take to mischaracterize daenerys just b/c you’re not getting the ending you want in the show or the books is a little ridiculous. You can’t write a story that’s based on show-canon and then ignore all obstacles presented in said canon just to put your two favorite characters together. That’s not how good storytelling works.” [FanofLogic (lol) on chapter 1]

“I don't think Arya would ever betray Jon, it's just not plausible.[...]There are gaping plot holes, that need to be seriously addressed, the writing and the punctuation are fine, it’s well spaced and makes sense in a linear sense, but in terms of plot and story, it crumbles to dust before you even finish reading the chapter in its entirety.[...]I don’t want to stop you from writing, that’s not my intention, you just need to sit back and ask yourself, if it really makes sense.” [carpenoctem20 on chapter 1]

“Well, I read your story. It is sad really because your writing style is good and enjoyable but the stupidity of your character's actions[...]Too bad, your writing is promising but the story lacks logic…[...]Also, thank you for butchering Arya’s character - she is my favourite and you completely ruined her.” [malb901 on chapter 1]

“I realize that this story is an AU because our characters are written not how they are portray in television or books…” [GUEST VIII on chapter 1]

“If your goal was to write Arya completely out of character and Sansa as a short sighted idiot with the northern lords as her peanut gallery...then good job. Otherwise your characterization needs a lot of work.” [guest on chapter 1]

“Arya...well how she is written is so absurdly offbase from canon you would have been better off write my that part as an of to avoid having preconceived about the character.” [guest on chapter 1]

“What a load of complete garbage. So much character assassination across the board is an injustice to GRRM’s work!” [guest on chapter 1]

“Another junk Jonsa story, I see that many of these losers, are very salty, because their crackship (because that’s the Jonsa, a crack) shipwrecked last season.[...]The author of this story is another salty loser with no sense, just like all the Jonsa fans of this crack ship.[...] even Arya has a stronger relationship with Jon than with any member of her family, she would care less about the North, even threatening to kill the Northern Lord, if they hurt Jon. Only two idiots of Jonsa, defend this story.” [JonsaSucks on chapter 1]

“Highly questionable characterization and plot holes big enough to fly a dragon through...pass” [guest on chapter 2]

“With Arya, she's so OC in this that it would have made more sense to make her a new character. She would never choose Sansa over Jon.” [saphirablue25 on chapter 2]

“So disappointing! This story is a complete disservice to anyone who is not a blind Sansa worshiper.[...]The plot holes don't do you any favors either.” [Zmrzlina763 on chapter 3]

“Poorly written, plot holes, unrealistic” [guest on chapter 3]

“What a pile of crap. So many plot holes and character assassination. You should be ashamed to publish such garbage.” [guest on chapter 4]

“I hated this story...thought it was really ridiculous.” [guest on chapter 4]

“I would highly recommend rereading GRRM’s work as it’s obvious you are basing your characterizations on contrived reimaginings with no basis in the work you claim to be a fan of. Please do us all a favor and quit polluting the fandom with this nonsense.” [guest on chapter 4]

And finally, for the piece de resistance!

“Oh boy that story became retarded real quick” [guest on chapter 1]

Now, I might be biased but my brain kept pointing out similarities to the first episode of season 8 and my fic - which I never claimed to be writing what I thought was really going to happen, but that this what I wished in a best case scenario would, my interpretation of all the info we got from Season 7, and it was always only ever supposed to be a Jonsa one-shot but it kept growing.

Now, one of the biggest complaints I got was “character assassination” - saying that the characters would never behave the way I wrote them to. This is mainly what I want to focus on as clearly the fic is not exactly the same as the episode - and I never expected it to be. Fanfic is fanfic for a reason. For one, Sansa and the North refuse Jon and Dany, and that's kind of the catalyst to everything else that happens in the fic. Thats a big change - so I’m not saying “My fic was exactly like the show!!” I just wanted to point out all the moments while watching the show I was like “See! I didn’t assassinate anyone’s character!” since that’s apparently a crime I was committing against all of fandom.

If you haven’t read the fic, I highly suggest you do since many of these quotes are small snippets taken from a bigger context.

All the text is from my fic, the pictures are the moments I thought were similar from the show.

Daenerys had chosen to forgo her dragons to mount a horse instead, as a show of equality and peace to the Northern people.

The Hound, Sandor Clegane, rode beside them, seemingly reluctant to be there, in his own way.

“Greetings,” she announced. “How gracious for you to meet us.” Though her words were not sweet - they never were - and she measured the air between the two parties cautiously.

“You’ve traveled very far,” Sansa responded, her horse shifting impatiently under her. Her voice did not waver, and it carried loud and clear across the void. “It would be rude of me to not turn you away personally.”

Daenerys remained silent.

“We know no King, but the King in the North whose name is Stark.” Lyanna Mormont bellowed from her own steed. Her eyes were glowering, stern and furious. Not little Lyanna…

“First the Wildlings, and now a foreign whore,” Lord Glover spat, his horse just as wide as he was. “You’re not a Northerner. You’re anything but.”

He looked to Sansa for an answer. Surely Sansa would not leave him to the wolves. Yet she avoided his eye.

“I missed you too, Jon…” she called back, and his heart knew that she meant it. “But Starks stick together. I know that now. What would Father think?” His heart broke. If only they knew…

Jon had warned her. He knew before heading to Dragonstone that the Northerners were not likely to kneel to a foreign ruler. Sansa had said so herself many times. He resisted the urge to gloat, to remind the Dragon Queen of his words.

“Sam?” he whispered. Surely he must be imagining it. Sam was here? In Winterfell? The round man came stumbling towards him, his arms waving madly by his sides to catch Jon's attention.[...] The two clasped each other in a strong embrace for a moment before Jon pulled back. [...] “Gilly?” Jon asked absently. “And the baby?” “They're fine!” Sam answered, finally with a dim smile. “They’re here.”

Arya . Oh, Arya! She’s safe. He frantically grabbed her, sweeping his hands over her hair and face, feverishly kissing the top of her head, thanking the old gods that she was here. Thank the gods his little sister was alive. She had wrapped her arms so tightly around him he could barely breathe.

“You leave him alone!” Arya barked, running swiftly down the hall towards them.

“Don’t you understand what this means, Jon?” Sam insisted. “You’re the heir to the Iron Throne.”

Jon didn’t care about that. Not now. Suddenly everything he thought he knew was a lie. His father- no, his uncle... had lied to him his whole life. This meant that Daenerys was his aunt by blood. And Sansa was his…

He suddenly felt very ill.

[...]Everything tasted bitter to him now. Everything he had ever known was a lie, but oddly, it made sense. Eddard had gone south to save his sister and had returned with a child. It made sense. How - how - had he not seen it before?

[...]People die and stay dead. That was a fact. Unless he had believed more lies than the one his uncle had told him his whole life.

He had traveled on horseback many times, but never alone. [...] When he drew nearer to Winterfell, the snow and winds were so strong he was forced to cover every inch of skin but his eyes.

“You look like you’ve seen the seven hells.”

“You don’t look any better,” Sandor replied. Jaime tried to ignore the slight. It was true he was unshaven, unwashed and frozen to the bone.

“It’s too late,” Bran interrupted. Jon’s blood ran cold at the words.

“What do you mean it’s too late?”

“The Wall is gone. Eastwatch is gone. There is a dragon that breathes blue fire.”

Now, I’m not trying to say “I’m Nostradamus and I guessed the entire first episode.” No. That is absolutely not what I’m saying. I thought I made an informed guess into how the characters might react to the events in season 7 and amongst each other, and used my own opinions on the characterizations to write a story based around one thing: Jon realizing he loved Sansa because she died. Everything else was secondary to me. 

It’s only because I got such immediate and hostile push back to something I saw as obvious foreshadowing that made me feel so vindicated when the first episode had so many similarities to what I wrote. Anyone could have come up with these same lines as I did - because the evidence was there and the Jonsa fam was pointing it out the whole time. 

I just reallllly hate how fanfiction, especially in ASOIAF and on FFN, has the default accusation of “character assassination” to use when you just hate a story, when all fandom characterizations are just opinions. Only the author of the original source material can decry character assassination. Fanfiction is everyone’s personal choices when it comes to things like this, and it appears that a whole shitload of Dany Stans descended on my story, and instead of saying “I hate Jonsa and Dany can do no wrong” they personally attacked me for horrible writing - when in fact I was the one more on point than they were. I never expected Sansa and the North to literally turn Dany and Jon away at the gates - but thats why I wrote a fanfic about it. Because that was the only way I was going to see it told.

I was so upset by this (can’t you tell? lol) that seeing this episode really made me feel good and feel more proud in what I wrote. 

okay. rant over.

[sensitivitysensitivity]

books i read summer 2018!

so, here’s all of the books that i read over the time of like, end of may to august, including my star rating as well as a short synopsis and a brief little paragraph about what i thought about it while i watch comedians in cars getting coffee. don’t read my reviews if you don’t want ANY spoilers. the reviews aren’t spoilery, it just has some hints to the end and such. 

i. the hate u give by angie thomas

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

the hate u give is about a young african american girl named starr who is present when her childhood best friend is tragically murdered in an unwarranted act of police brutality, and how she finds her voice and the strength to speak out about the matter of police brutality with the support of her family and friends, as well as finding out who her real supporters are.

i adored this book with every last bit of my heart. the characters are absolutely hysterical, as well as strong and inspiring. i even loved starr’s stereotypical white boyfriend (who is being played by KJ Apa in the film adaption coming out this year and i literally yelled). i loved the way the book incorporated social media and such without making it seem as if teenagers are simply media obsessed. it really showed many different perspectives and sides to arguments that make you think, as well as inspire you to stand up for something you believe in.

ii. emergency contact by mary h.k choi

★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

emergency contact follows two college students who are seemingly lost in life, dealing with issues in their respective lives, who meet under strange and awkward circumstances, and take a liking to one another and start a friendship that consists almost entirely of text messages as they help one another through their woes of life, and develop feelings for one another cause yanno its a YA romance.

i didn’t NOT enjoy this book, but it wasn’t my favorite. i found penny’s character kind of annoying, and really rude sometimes, and i didn’t really love her dynamic with any of the characters, including sam who is the guy she is texting throughout the book. i really liked how realistic it was, kind of giving a real look into how life works i guess? i thought sam’s storyline with his ex girlfriend was incredibly dramatic and unneeded and it frustrated me, and the end of the story literally wasn’t affected at all by that storyline, it was just not needed. at all. like the ending was like cute and sam was cool but it was just kinda not as good as everyone online said it was. if it would’ve ended differently it would’ve gotten two stars lol.

iii. every day by david levithan

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

every day is the story of a genderless character that goes by the name of a, who jumps around from body to body every day into the life of somebody else, but they meet a girl, rhiannon, while in someone else’s life and they fall in love with her, and they then spend every day finding ways back to her

that was real hard to explain okay, but i really, really enjoyed this book. i found some aspects a little repetitive and it took some time to get to the point, but it was such a sweet story, and i loved getting to know each of the characters that a used as a host, and i enjoyed figuring out which characters that i liked more. i also liked the slight thrill of the kid who is trying to get a caught, as well as the ‘reverend’ who has the same condition as a, but learns to control it. i usually don’t like an open ending, but i liked this one since it implies a goes away to find out how to control himself and get back to rhiannon. overall i enjoyed it, and it was fun to read and get to know the characters, but i gained nothing from reading it because the ending was open and it felt like there was no actual point. i don’t know it was good.

iv. play me backwards by adam selzer

★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆

play me backwards is a really freaking weird story about the misadventures of leon who finds out his childhood girlfriend is possibly going to come visit, and is pushed down a rabbit hole of weird tasks he is sent to do by his best friend stan, who apparently is actually satan, such as finding the white grape slushee, date a popular girl, and listen to the full audio book of moby dick, all the while spending almost all of his time at the run down ice cream shop he works at. honestly that’s the best i can do the book is super freaking strange?

the weird thing about this book is that i actually really enjoyed reading it, and i actually really liked the character of leon, but i genuinely had no idea what the hell was going on the entire time. he was just kind of running around, like messing around with his girlfriend he didn’t like, thinking about some british girl, and being a lowkey satanist. like i have no idea what the point was, i honestly don’t even know what it was about. leon was a relatable character and he was funny, and i enjoyed his point of view, but the book was bad. the idea sucked and i felt like i was wasting my time reading it. but i had a fictional crush on leon and the ending like kinda forced itself into having a point, even though it was a stretch, so two stars only for leon. but i liked it. i don’t know. 

v. eliza and her monsters by francesca zappia

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

eliza and her monsters is about a young girl, eliza, who writes/draws a world renound web comic, monstrous sea, but remains completely anonymous except to her three best online friends and her family, but then she befriends the new student at school, wallace, and she finds out he is that he is the most popular fanfiction writer for her webcomic, she finds it harder and harder to keep her secret as she falls in love. 

so i read this book in ONE NIGHT. it was really good, and never failed to entertain me. i couldn’t blame eliza for falling in love with wallace cause girl i did too. he was such a cute character and so were her internet friends, and so were all the characters and i loved reading all of the little snipits of the webcomic, it was just adorable, and their love was adorable, and it was just adorable. plus it really puts a nice look on mental illness, and im not talking about eliza, wallace had extreme anxiety and it was very real and i really appreciated it. took away a star because eliza pissed me off on multiple occasions and i found her annoying a lot. other than that rEally great. 

vi. i’ll give you the sun by jandy nelson

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

i’ll give you the sun is told from the perspective of twins noah and jude during two very separate periods of time in their lives, jude telling her story at age sixteen and noah at age thirteen, as they go through life, and falling in love, and family secrets and tragedies as the grow apart and back together.

okay so i didn’t know how to explain this without spoiling it completely, but WOW i loved this book. i genuinely couldn’t decide if i liked noah or jude’s story better, and finally decided on the answer being BOTH. it was so good, so emotional, noah and brian made me sob and so did jude and oliver, and i loved the characters and all the revelations they had and im just rambling and i feel like im making no sense but jesus, this book was amazing and the story was just so absolutely amazing. not a single flaw in this book. absolutely amazing OH ! MY ? GOD! absolute favorite of the summer.

vii. the absolutely true diary of a part time indian by sherman alexie

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

the absolutely true diary of a part time indian is the critically acclaimed novel about a teenage boy, junior, who had many medical issues who lives in an indian reservation, but decides that he is destined for greater things and decides to transfer to the “white school”, and he faces many challenges such as finding his place at this school and the backlash of the other members of the reservation. 

it was very difficult for me to like this book, at first because of the fact that i read it for school, but then ONLY for the fact that i found out about the sexual assault charges against the author, and im so upset i bought the book and essentially supported the author before i was aware olf that, but that doesn’t change that i had to read this for school, and that i actually liked it. it was very aware of racism and a lot of racial stereotypes and provided very raw experiences and the drawings were fun to read. i don’t really wanna go on cause i don’t wanna praise it too much, but i took away a star cause sometimes i found it repetitive and some things simply didn’t have a point, but i liked it. 

viii. a semi-definitive list of worst nightmares by krystal sutherland

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

this book tells the odd story of esther solar, who believes her whole family is cursed by Death, and whatever fear that cripples them throughout life will kill them. but the curse is threatening the life of her twin brother, eugene, she decides to face every fear she has written down on her list of things she must avoid so she never has to face the curse herself, with the help of an unlikely friend, to lure Death to them and reverse the curse. 

so that summary probably little to no sense at all. because the book itself is so difficult to explain, but i actually really enjoyed it. it took me a while to read it, but i loved it. esther was a real character, with so many real flaws, and her ‘friend’ jonah who helped her overcome all of her fears, really brought out the best parts of her, as well as bringing light to the nature of abuse. the book dealt with a lot of real problems, such as mental illness, and does it in such a lovely and sensitive way, but without holding back, as well as showing someone who seemingly had no hope, get better, which i find amazing. the only reason i took a star away was because so many parts dragged on and i got bored sometimes, but overall, it was a great read with so many great characters and it was very whimsical and enjoyable!

ix. crazy rich asians by kevin kwan

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

crazy rich asians follows rachel chu and her boyfriend nick young as he brings her home to his ‘crazy rich’ family that he hasn’t prepared her for at all, and essentially don’t approve of her, as well as it follows everyone in nick’s extended and immediate family as well as some family friends and their extravagant lifestyles as well as all the drama that comes with being that freaking rich. 

okay i adore this book. it was absolutely amazing, and i could barely begin to tell you all of the amazing characters and storylines, each one more interesting and intricate and extravagant than the next. i loved the representation, and accurate representation at that, of the asian culture. it was just great. other than being somewhat hard to follow at times with the constant perspective change, i loved it. the movie was rlly good too lol. 

x. the kissing booth by beth reekles

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

the kissing booth is the absolutely dreadful story of a young girl, elle evans, and her best friend, lee flynn, as they plan a kissing booth for their high schools fundraiser (for what? i have no clue) and elle ends up kissing her best friends older brother, noah flynn, and by a strange turn of events they fall into a forbidden (because lee makes the rules ig) romance. 

really ended off the summer GREAT with this one! it sucked, it was horrible. there were actual, typos? in the book? it was incredibly sexist, literally making elle seem like a piece of property, and theres MULTIPLE occasions of sexual assault that is glossed over. in fact, the best friend lee assaults her (slapping her butt without permission) and when someone ELSE assaults her he says “no one is allowed to do that but me” thats reason ENOUGH. it’s gross how they both try and control her, and its honestly just bad. the story is all over the place, and it feels like a wattpad book, because it literally is, and i payed six dollars for it. so the jokes on me ig.