#this is Keito's idol story 2

[seo-julie]

Natsu Kanna - The Child Mechanical God Ep 2

Characters: Kanna, Makoto, Keito, Kanata Release: 25/7/2024 Proofreading: leen Translation: seo-julie

Season: Spring Location: Seisoukan courtyard

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Kanna: Sigh… Senpai, you don't know anything, do you?

This is the latest sleeping device I developed, and I call it “Sleep Peacefully Anywhere-kun”.

Keito: What's with that name? It sounds something like that of an unsuccessful comedian's name.

Makoto: (Hasumi-senpai, your straight man¹ act is prompt and precise… I need to learn a thing or two from you.)

Kanna: The name doesn't matter. It's not like I'm the one naming it. 

Based on the latest ergonomics research, this bed is perfectly constructed so that anyone can get a good night's sleep instantly.

In addition, there is also a function that increases the effectiveness of recovering from fatigue by several dozen times. If you doubt it, would you like to give it a try?

It seems like both of you couldn't sleep, just like me. If you use “Sleepy-kun (abbreviation)”, then you'd be in a dream in no time. 

Makoto: Ah, I might be a little interested.

Hehe. I buy all those latest gadgets even when I'll probably use them only once and then throw them into the closet.

Kanna: As long as there are such curious customers, my job will not disappear.

Makoto: Job? If you're at Seisoukan, doesn't that mean you're an idol as well?

Kanna: For the time being, yes. But my main job is something else.

Kanna: Calling myself an inventor might sound shady, but that’s what I do. 

Makoto: Ah, I think I've heard of it somewhere. I see, you're that "Deus Ex Machina²", aren't you?

Keito: What is with that name? It sounds like a name made up by someone with chuunibyou. 

Makoto: (As expected! Your straight man act is so good, please let me call you master!)

Keito: Why are you looking at me with such sparkling eyes…?

Kanna: I didn't come up with that nickname for myself. "Deus Ex Machina" is not a very promising name. 

Keito: A mechanical god…? Are you actually an ingeniously crafted robot that looks like a human?

Makoto: Ahaha, he does give off that same vibe.

Kanna: …People often said that.

Anyways. Everyone, why don't you try using this bed for a while?

As an apology for causing you both concern, I'll give you two a good night's sleep.

Makoto: Ah, as I said earlier, I'm interested~♪ Do I just lie down here? And sleep peacefully until morning?

Keito: H-hey, wait, Yuuki, don't be so careless now–

Kanna: Alright.

Keito: Woah!?

(W-what? I was suddenly pushed from behind…!?)

Makoto: W-whaa, please don't crash on me, Hasumi-senpai! This bed was probably made to fit only one person!?

Kanna: –Good night, seniors.

Please sleep in peace. This way, you'll forget all the troubles of reality.

Location: Makoto's Dorm

Makoto: ……

(Ah, huh? I, was I sleeping? Was it all just a dream?)

(That was such a strange dream… But, yeah, it had to be a dream. It was so unrealistic.)

(I had a weird conversation with a weird kid under the moonlight. It's a dream, and no matter who you talk to, they'll all say, 'So what?' Such a trivial story.)

Ahaha. I must be having all these unrealistic dreams because I play these games all the time. Stop having weird delusions, I need to face reality–

Keito: Yuuki! Are you there?

Makoto: W-whoa, what a surprise!? H-Hasumi-senpai? Is there anything I can help you with?

Keito: Do you remember what happened last night?

Makoto: Yes?

Keito: I wonder if that was a dream after all… A dream is a dream, my memory is getting hazy and I can't remember much anymore.

Didn't we see a strange machine and child last night? 

Makoto: Um… No but, it was a dream, right? But, huh, did Hasumi-senpai have the same dream as well?

Location: Seisoukan courtyard

Kanna: …

(Sigh~... Looks like by interfering with their cranial nerves, I was able to erase their memories, but it seems like there was something I forgot to subtly erase.)

(Not yet, it's not yet perfect.)

(If the results are lower than what the developer expected, if the product does not perform the desired functions, then it is an utter failure…)

(...Just like me.)

(Commercialization would be difficult. There's still room for improvement.)

Kanata: Hm~m h~m?

Kanna: Is there something troubling you?

Kanata: ? Yes, well, you know, I like taking “cold baths³”. But this, “season” is a bit too cold and I'm afraid I might catch a “cold”–

Kanna: I see. Well then, why don't you try this invention.

This is called, “Kettle that Makes Everything Hot-kun”.

(Humans find things that are alike in only appearance to be ominous.)

(This uncanny feeling… Even so, I too want to overcome it.)

(I'm…)

(Not… a machine.)

Kanata: ? What's wrong~?

Kanna: No… Sorry, it malfunctions sometimes.

Kanna: (As of this moment, not yet.)

(But, I'm sure someday...)

¹ The original word used for this was “tsukkomi”. It's from what I think is a troupe(?) known as boke and tsukkomi. Boke and tsukkomi are loosely equivalent to the roles of "funny man" or "comic" (boke) and "straight man" (tsukkomi) in the comedy duos of western culture. Which is why I have opted to use straight man for the tl. ² Deus ex machina is a Latin calque from Greek ἀπὸ μ��χανῆς θεός (apò mēkhanês theós) “god from the machine”. The term was coined from the conventions of ancient Greek theater, where actors who were playing gods were brought on stage using a machine. ³ The original word used was “mizuabi” which literally translates to “bathing in cold water”.

Directory

[asteracelatte]

Ensemble Stars!!

Masterlist of translations I did for Enstars!! (JP/KR/CN → EN)

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✦✦ Main Story!

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✧ Main Story (!!) - Chapter 191: Migratory ✧ Main Story (!!) - Chapter 192: Ragnarok

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✦✦ Events!

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✧ Magnolia [16/16] ✧ SHUFFLE * Black Snow [16/16] ✧ Four Seasons of Love [13/13] ✧ Get Island [15/15] ✧ SHUFFLE * Evil TELEPHONE [16/16] ✧ Gazing at the Blue (CN Exclusive) [5/5] ✧ Sparkle [13/13]

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✦✦ Scouts!

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✧ Holiday [7/7] ✧ Food Fantasy (CN Exclusive) [5/5] ✧ Dramatica [8/8] ✧ Soleil [6/6] ✧ Band BB [8/8] ✧ Fair Waltz [6/6] ✧ CRAFTMONSTER [6/6] ✧ Blushing Flash [7/7] ✧ Cross × Mark [6/6] ✧ Manga Club [7/7] ✧ JANUS -Lookback- [8/?]

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✦✦ Idol Stories!

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✧ Hibiki Wataru 3☆ - Two Shows ✧ Akehoshi Subaru 4☆ - After School Session ✧ Isara Mao 4☆ - Halftime Show ✧ Isara Mao 5☆ - Youthful Player ✧ Isara Mao 3☆ - One-on-One Session ✧ Amagi Hiiro 4☆ - Stuck in a Storeroom ✧ Sakuma Rei 3☆ - Wartime of Black and White ✧ Sakuma Ritsu 3☆ - Evening Talk ✧ Sakuma Ritsu 5☆ - Golden Ring ✧ Sakuma Ritsu 5☆ - Slumbering Black Knight ✧ Narukami Arashi 5☆ - Attractive, Like a Flower ✧ Harukawa Sora 3☆ - Lucky Four-Leaf Clover (CN Exclusive) ✧ Hojo Raika - Idol Story 2

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✦✦ Birthday Events!

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✧ Aira Birthday Course 2021 ✧ Hiiro Birthday Course 2022 ✧ Eichi Birthday Course 2022 ✧ Tori Birthday Course 2022 ✧ Kuro Birthday Course 2022 ✧ Natsume Birthday Course 2022 ✧ Wataru Birthday Course 2022 ✧ Arashi Birthday Course 2022 ✧ Mao Birthday Course 2022 ✧ Nazuna Birthday Course 2022 ✧ Leo Birthday Course 2022 ✧ Mayoi Birthday Course 2022 ✧ Sora Birthday Course 2022 ✧ Koga Birthday Course 2022 ✧ Kanata Birthday Course 2022 ✧ Ritsu Birthday Course 2022 ✧ Nagisa Birthday Course 2022 ✧ Mao Birthday Course 2023 ✧ Ritsu Birthday Course 2023 ✧ Hiiro Birthday Course 2024 ✧ Mao Birthday Course 2024 ✧ Raika Birthday Course 2024

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✦✦ Management!

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✧ Isara Mao Management Stories ✧ Sakuma Ritsu Management Stories

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✦✦ Miscellaneous!

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✧ 2021 AtoZ Christmas Date Plan ✧ Phone Calls from ES Idols ✧ HAPPY NEW ENSEMBLE!! – Knights MC ✧ HAPPY NEW ENSEMBLE!! – Ring.A.Bell MC ✧ HAPPY NEW ENSEMBLE!! – Trickstar MC ✧ HAPPY NEW ENSEMBLE!! – La Mort MC ✧ 2024 ES Chocolate Maker Championship! ✧ Café Cinnamon Official Recipe Book - Sakuma Ritsu Interview

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✦✦ Lyrics!

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✧ Moonlight Disco - Getto Spectacle ✧ Castle of My Heart - Knights ✧ Acanthe - Valkyrie ✧ No name yet - Double Face ✧ A little bit UP!! - Switch ✧ Daydream×Reality - Trickstar ✧ Or the Beautiful Golden Drop - Knights ✧ Shukufuku no Library - Valkyrie ✧ Amor Vincit Omnia - Itsuki Shu ✧ Black Out See Saw - ALKALOID ✧ SOLID SOUL - Amagi Hiiro ✧ Resurrection of Soul - UNDEAD ✧ Kimi to Mimei ni, - Hidaka Hokuto ✧ EverySing for You - Akehoshi Subaru ✧ Glasses Hopper!! - Yuuki Makoto ✧ Tokimeki Share - Isara Mao ✧ My Sunshine, You're Moonlight - Sakuma Ritsu ✧ Foolish Alien - Crazy:B ✧ Soushitsu Guui -LOST BALLADE- - M∀N∀

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✦✦ Proofreading!

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✧ Setsubun Festival ✧ Dance of the White Tiger ✧ Keito Lecture ✧ Jingle Bells ✧ Atlantis

✧ Sakuma Rei 4☆ - Coffin Dilemma

[esidolmail]

fine

Letter to fine

Lovemail

Eichi Tenshouin

What if we held hands and were best friends

Holding His Hands - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Blow a Kiss

Mixed Feelings

Shy

Interview Advice

Forgiven?

Hate-love & Birthday (for Rachel)

Mass producing idols

Progress

Birthday 2024 - 1

Feelings about Axolotl

Resembling Axolotls

Look Alike (w/ Ibara)

Bungee jumping without the cord

Do not bungee jump without the cord

Kiss on the lips

Similar (w/ Aira)

No Pancakes

No Pancakes 2

Ryusei White

Hair-eating harassment

Hospital Smell

Pranking Keito

You don't know what you do to me

Love me Tear

Enstars 3

The war

Wataru Hibiki

Being like Wataru

Wataru's Doves

Introject of You

Hair Braids

The moon and the stars

Odd - Five Eccentrics

Broke character

Story

Sad you're not a unit anymore - Five Eccentrics

You all need therapy - Five Eccentrics

If you could go back in time and change one thing

Magic Trick

Worst Hair Day

Birthday 2024 - 1

Saltwater Taffy Hair

I LOVE YOU

Birth Family

How do you move your hair around

Sad + Comfort

"How do you not hate Eichi?"

You are amazing

Adopted Kids (w/ Mika)

Ceilings

How old you were when you were adopted

Love me Tear

Film Festival

Sentient Hair

Tori Himemiya

Cutest Idol

Inspire

Most adorable

Pinchable Cheeks

Tips to be cute

Magical Girl

My boyfriend's a big fan

Viewing you as a son & Relating

Viewing you as a son & Relating 2

New fan

Valentines 2024 - 1 2

Anniversary & Cheers

Box of sweets & Teddy bears

Yuzuru Fushimi

Happy Birthday

I love you to a great extent

Glimpse of Light

Weapons

Amazing, Talented

You deserve everything

Plushies

Main Masterlist

[verdantcrimson]

Masterlist + Terms of Use

• You may send in an ask correcting any of my translations or pointing out typos. My goal as a translator is to be accurate, so I take no issue with being corrected. Please don't keep it to yourself if you see something off. I use translation as a means to learn and do it as a hobby.

• You can screenshot translations to post and comment on. You may not use them for ship related quote bots without permission. You can cite them in casual discussions of the text, as long as wording/phrasing is not the subject of the discussion. Translating, especially with a heavily context based language like Japanese, is interpretive.

• Do not add any of my translations to a public masterlist.

• I accept translation requests for any 1-2 chapter stories/minitalks that involve AKATSUKI (and occasionally Yuzuru), even if they aren't featured characters. Longer stories are taken up at my personal discretion.

That being said, I am very slow. Please be patient!

Scout and Event Stories

Heaven and Earth

Gourmand Fragrance

Keito Hasumi

Feature Scout story: Lotus & Vows — 1 | 2

With: Kuro, Souma, Anzu

Feature Scout story: Shutter Chance — 1 | 2

With: Tomoya, Kuro, Souma, Anzu

Idol Story: An Exchange of Information between Instructors

With: Yuzuru, Ibara

Management stories:

With: Mao

With: Yuzuru

With: Kaoru

With: Madara

Kuro Kiryu

Feature Scout Story: Preparations for the Future — 1 | 2

With: Mao, Ritsu, Niki, Sora, Mitsuru, Nazuna, Anzu

Idol story: An Idol's life of Daily Study

With: Keito

Management stories:

With: Shu

Souma Kanzaki

Management Stories:

With: Kanata

Other

8th Anniversary Heart to You FES!!

(1) With: Eichi, Wataru, Yuzuru, Tori

(4) With: Keito, Yuzuru, Souma, Mao

(10) With: Souma, Kanata, Ibara, Kaoru, Shinobu

(11) With: BUTOKAI (Kuro, Adonis, Tetora, Jun, Madara)

(12) With: Yuzuru, Subaru, Midori

(23) With: Keito, Wataru, Tsumugi, Nazuna, Hokuto

(26) With: AKATSUKI

(27) With: Chiaki, Nazuna, Kuro, Shu

(28) With: Souma, Mika, Natsume, Adonis

(31) With: Yuzuru, Ibara, Hajime, HiMERU

(40) With: Overnight Outdoors Party (Kuro, Leo, Mitsuru, Niki, Mayoi)

(42) With: Keito, Leo, Eichi, Madara

11/26/23 Tsukisuta Skit

With: AKATSUKI & Tsukasa

Memories of Ensemble 2023 (AKATSUKI)

Lyrics

ROCK ROAR Lyrics (Game size)

金色千夜夢舞台 Lyrics (Game size)

絲

Unpredictable Reincarnation (Keito Hasumi Solo)

[ensemble-stories-archive]

Keito Idol Story:

Episode 2

Characters: Keito, Souma, & Kuro

[Episode 1] [Episode 3]

[toujokaname]

TL Directory

Welcome! 

Read this to know more about this blog and my translation policies.

The translation directory will be under the read more.

Event Stories:

Princess Kaguya

Matrix

Scout Stories:

Lucky SCRAMBLE

Raindrop-covered Show Window

Illusory Noctilucence

Idol Stories:

Tori Himemiya:

Footprints of Happiness (with Yuzuru, Eichi, Wataru, Mao, Mitsuru, Shinobu and Aira)

Tetora Nagumo:

Just As I Am (with Hinata and HiMERU)

Tatsumi Kazehaya: 

Idol Story 1

Idol Story 2 (with Mayoi)

Idol Story 3 (with Hiyori and Jun)

Light in Both Body and Soul (with Tsumugi and Eichi)

An Appraiser Appears? (with Hinata, Natsume, Midori, and Hajime)

A Morning of Sending and Being Sent (with Hiyori)

A Carefree Relationship (with Koga)

Jun Sazanami: 

Sex Appeal 101 (with HiMERU and Kohaku)

HiMERU: 

Idol Story 1

Idol Story 2 (with Kohaku)

Idol Story 3 (with Ibara)

An Unfamiliar Sight (with Rinne, Niki, and Kohaku)

Nazuna Nito:

Pump it up! (with Kuro and Tomoya)

Leo Tsukinaga:

Musical Guidance Tsukinaga-Style☆ (with Tomoya)

Birthday Stories:

Tatsumi Kazehaya: 

2022 Celebration (with Jun, Hajime, Hiiro, and Hokuto)

Souma Kanzaki:

2018 Celebration (with Subaru, Hokuto, Makoto, Adonis, Keito, Kanata, Kaoru, and Kuro)

Voicelines:

Kaname and Tatsumi's Past Homescreen Lines

Songs:

Shisen Hold me tight (HiMERU Solo Preview)

[himemiya-kun]

Blue Sea＊The Shining, Truthful Atlantis (Chapter 3)

« Chapter 2 • Chapter 4 »

Back to list

Chapter 3: Under the Surface

Winter

Characters:

• Eichi Tenshouin

• Tori Himemiya

• Yuzuru Fushimi

Eichi: It would have been nice if you had consulted me. As the student council president two generations ago, I can at least give my support to Tori.

Tori: I was thinking of talking to you about it.

Yuzuru: Fufu. The election is not going so well. Therefore, Young Master must’ve been ashamed to let Eichi-sama know about such a pathetic situation.

Eichi: If that’s the case, why didn't you consult me? But, surprisingly, Tori doesn't always rely on me.

Yuzuru: Even though you don’t like to borrow the power of a tiger. However, I think the smell of water is similar between Eichi-sama and Young Master.

Tori: Shut up! Yumenosaki isn’t important right now!

It’s okay. I'll take care of that properly. What's more important right now is the atlantis?

Eichi: Project-ATLANTIS.

Tori: That's right! You were talking about that, weren't you?

Yuzuru: It seems that the main topic tends to get sidetracked.

Eichi: Reality isn't as linear as a story. I have no choice but to extend my hand here and there, even if it's in a roundabout way, and use deductive methods instead of inductive methods to bring them to the surface.

The real image.

Anyway. There’s that. Project-ATLANTIS is—

Yuzuru: This is the third time today Eichi-sama has said, “anyway”.

Eichi: Don’t do a strange count.

Project-ATLANTIS is a plan that came about as part of the “big trend” to create ES branch offices nationwide.

Although it is expressed as a branch office, it serves a similar purpose as a front-line base to suppress anti-ES organisations that have arisen all over the country.

Yuzuru: It is necessary for us to have something like that.

In the case of a centralised organisation like ES, the more you go to the countryside, the less authority you will have.

We need a terminal, so to speak, to control every corner of the country.

But why ATLANTIS? It’s not a very auspicious name.

Tori: Really? What is atlantis? I remember seeing it occasionally in manga—

Yuzuru: I'm worried because Young Master is quoting a lot of manga these days.

Eichi: If you like manga, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Even a nerd can become a true human being, which is proven by Keito.

Reading manga makes you stupid. Playing games makes you stupid. Such a thing is nothing more than assumptions that have emerged from discriminatory feelings towards otaku, a race different from one’s own.

There is no scientific basis for it. Anyway—

Yuzuru: The fourth time.

Eichi: How much is the salary for that job? …The number of ES branches and related companies are expected to increase like bamboo shoots after the rain.

Project-ATLANTIS is treated as a trunk for the branches and leaves of ES that will spread all over the country.

Plant five large trees all over the country, including ES. By focusing on those five trees, ES will grow branches and leaves around the nation.

At the same time, exterminating the pests that undermine it, which is the anti-ES organisation.

Yuzuru: It's just a front-line base… And it's just like the colonisation plan Eichi-sama had mentioned.

Eichi: Yes. In the future, the next generation of idols will be born from the colony.

From now on, idols will be harvested from the fields. There are five huge plantations in Japan, including ES.

But. At one of these five central places, there are a few things.

For several reasons, there are some areas where the construction of the branch offices is slow.

That land has long been an untouchable area for people in our idol industry.

In that land, a big figure who once founded the idol industry and ruled over it for many years, known as the “Godfather”, had his eyes on it.

It seems that this man, who was called God, was trying to build the prototype of ES on that land.

The name of that phantom, primitive ES is ATLANTIS.

You said it was an unfavourable name, Yuzuru. I admit, it’s quite strange.

For a “planned site of utopia” that God was keeping an eye on, a great disaster happened with terrible wolves remaining.

The land, along with the dreams and ideals of the gods, was swept away by the great waves and submerged.

Just like the mythical Atlantis, a super-civilisation destroyed by a calamity.

The disaster happened more than 20 years ago, and we weren't even born yet, so we can only understand it through knowledge.

Right now, I’m reaching out to a land that can only be thought of as being cursed. No, I will establish a utopia that even God couldn’t realise.

Make ATLANTIS, which ended in a dream, a reality.

Hence, the plan is called Project-ATLANTIS.

Tori: …

« Chapter 2 • Chapter 4 »

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[aroacesigma]

ok anyway izuleo. there is so much to go thru here. pls be aware that i am looping fineknights starlight parade rn so im like 500x more insane. this is so much lore bear with me

okay so. leo and izumi met a bit before the war when leo just kinda. burst into a classroom izumi was practicing in and was like "ur singing sucks lmao" and izumi was like "what the hell" and then they got in a small scuffle or some shit and then leo basically just didn't leave izumi alone and called izumi his muse and composed a bunch of songs for him so they're besties.

so like. izuleo are just kinda chilling. and then the old leader of the mega-unit.... Othello? or Backgammon? I think it was called at the time? has smth happen and can't be the leader anymore (it's heavily implied that Eichi was why the previous leader stepped down) so Leo is left to fill in the slot and he becomes the new leader and renames the unit back to its og name before the name changes to Othello and Backgammon - Chess. but most of the people in the unit (bc at this time units were GIANT and encompassed like hundreds of students) didn't actually care abt being idols and were just kinda in the unit for the sake of the name they could ride off of that looks good on their resumes and shit. Eichi did not like that. so eichi does his eichi things and pulls strings with the student council (thanks keito) and makes it so units cannot be bigger than 5 people and can't really be smaller than 2 due to prohibitive costs and whatnot. (madara is an exception. they let him stay a solo unit bc it kept him out of everyone's hair) so. the mega-units splinter!

Leo and Izumi go to form their own unit out of the splinter units and Leo originally suggests them being named Knight, but Izumi tells him that that name was already taken, and suggests Knights instead. (yes. izumi named their unit.) and so ! Knights is born ! Izumi and Leo are the only real members at this time so they go. recruit people i guess idk. Arashi gets roped in despite not actually caring abt idol-ing at the time and i think Ritsu just kinda comes along bc it's the easiest course of action? idk man it's been so long since i read Checkmate. ANYWAY.

Eichi uses this early Knights to destroy units he sees as threats and to test the DreamLive system (which is the current system operating in Enstars for lives and shit. i cannot explain it) or maybe it's DreamFes? idk. one of the two. anyway. at one point Leo goes to a bunch of the other splinter units and asks if they had to choose between never using his music again (leo is a genius composer btw and is largely attributed to being a reason knights is so popular) and being his friend; or using his music. Every single person he goes to chooses his music over him. Strike one on the Leo Downfall Arc! ALSO ENGSTARS RETCONS THIS. DON'T TRUST THEM. In Engstars Izumi says that Leo once asked him that question too, but that's a fucken LIE Izumi was never asked to choose between Leo and his music bc his choice was always Leo and Leo KNEW that.

The two are disgustingly codependent at this point btw. so like. Leo uses his music to destroy these splinter units of the mega units and everyone Eichi considers a threat and this does. A LOT to his mental state. He's kind of disgustingly codependent with Izumi to the point where he basically tells Izumi that he'll do anything Izumi asks of him and that all he wants is for Izumi to smile (and praise him i think?) bc like. at this point Izumi has gotten super harsh on Leo and like. Izumi is normally prickly but this is way worse. Strike Two on the Leo Downfall Arc!

Sometime after this (I do not know exactly when. again. been awhile) Leo realizes what he's done and the fact that he's stepped on so many people and that his music is little more than a weapon and just fucking. breaks. he becomes a shut-in and basically disappears from Yumenosaki. Izumi visits him a few times - most notably in the short story Lionheart where he visits and Ruka (leo's younger sister) ends up crying and begging Izumi to help Leo, which leads to Leo coming out of his room (and Izumi describes him as being super gaunt and barely able to stand) and tells Izumi off for making Ruka cry. (he didn't make ruka cry btw she's just really worried abt her brother) After that Izumi leaves the house and goes and sits on the beach and is all emo while listening to the MP3 player full of music Leo's made for him. one of the tracks is just a recording of their first meeting too and izumi does not have a good time listening to that. I think at the end of Lionheart Izumi promises to keep fighting in Leo's name until he's strong enough.

Anyway. While Leo's a shut-in he basically stops composing entirely bc he stops hearing music in his head and thinks everything he composes is worthless which leads to him hurting himself (i still hc that he has scars on his hands from biting himself and izumi always gets a little sad when he sees them) which eventually leads to Madara taking Leo to travel the world so he can get his groove back. This is during IzuLeo's second year i think. The war was during their first year i think. timeline is fuzzy ngl. So Leo is basically missing for the entirety of his second year. Knights at that time is Izumi, Ritsu, and Arashi with Leo missing. Leo was their leader (dubbed "ousama" (king) - also the name of my leo fictive. unrelated.) but he's just kinda. gone. so I think during this time Knights just stops performing and slips out of the limelight. Mama and Leo's World Tour happens, which is also kinda sad bc once Leo comes back and is asked abt it he says he was "abducted by aliens" and doesn't remember it. Also when Leo comes back he doesn't go straight back to Yumenosaki, he remains away from Knights and everyone for awhile. Madara is able to coax Leo into performing with him during the story Concerto and that's where Leo finally decides to go back to the stage with his Knights. except oopsie ! all judgement !

So. Leo goes back to Yumenosaki. By jumping in through a window. He does that a lot in the early stories btw idk if he knows what a door is /j BUT. I digress. So he meets Tsukasa at that point and i feel like just kinda brushes him off? and challenges Knights to a duel ! Judgement ! Where he claims that if Knights cannot defeat him then Knights doesn't deserve to exist anymore bc they've grown too weak in his absence. So Izumi is like "Leo-kun what the fuck" and Leo is just like ":3" and peaces out thru the window. Knights are unsurprisingly like "wtf are we meant to do we don't have Leo's songs" and Leo goes and gets his little temporary unit Knights Killers up and running with Eichi, Kuro, and Nazuna. eichi bc they're kinda friends despite everything that happened (and also leo knows that he's strong), and kuro and nazuna bc they're literally the closest people. good work leokun. So ! Knights Killers and Knights go to battle ! Knights begins losing bc Leo can compose on the spot and Eichi is noted to be a powerhouse, and with Leo and Eichi together they're basically unstoppable. During that story we also get this really soft moment of Ritsu (who's Knights strategist) apologizing to... Tsukasa? I think? maybe Izumi? for his strategies not being enough. but as Knights Killers wins, Leo has an "oh shit" moment and realizes that he can't just do whatever the hell he wants with Knights, bc Knights also belongs to the others :3 so Leo is like "yeah no we're not dissolving Knights" and rejoins as their ousama ! (also Knights Killers has a song called Crush of Judgement and its a BANGER go listen to it)

at this point Izumi and Leo have a very kinda. tense? relationship? they're not as disgustingly codependent anyhow. they're kinda distant. but they work on repairing their relationship over time ! izumi is less harsh on Leo and keeps a pretty close eye on him actually (they live together in Italy !) as a sort of way of making up for everything he did. and leo's just a silly goofy guy but is still a little haunted by his past. but the two are working on it.

anyway once they graduate and tsukasa becomes the new ousama, izumi goes to live in italy for. modelling things? i think? i don't really know tbh. and leo goes with bc where izumi goes leo follows and vice versa in most cases. sometime in the modern !! timeline leo is like. doing stuff for GFK (gatekeeper? godfather? idk. one of those dudes. don't ask me abt them i don't get it) and overworking himself and izumi is like "leokun PLEASE" and takes over his scheduling so he doesn't keep working himself to the bone. also leo does like a requiem or something? to see if kasa is worthy of being the leader? or something? gonna be real i do not really remember that story much.

so yeah izuleo were disgustingly codependent and now are more normal and also got gay married in florence. they told me themselves.

theyre absolutely sickening (/pos) i LOVE that omfg . congratulations to them on their italy wedding i fully believe you im sure thats canon . also feeling very sorry for this leo guy i want to hug him . also i listened to that song while reading this and its an absolute banger

[bigtopveggie]

YOU BETTER DO THE 18 AS WELL. 🔫

1. who do you currently produce?

Takamine Midori! Otogari Adonis! And Morisawa Chiaki! Can't have too many bois to produce or else the gacha hell will be endless but I'm lucky I'm very picky in a way~!

2. who did you first produce?

Midori of course! The first pick as the four stars and then my first banner boi as I happened to have started during the Hello Kitty event and Dollhouse banner!!

3. do you have a producersona?

I wish we could have one... I'm way more of a fan of gacha games where the player character is a supporting character in the background AND can be of any gender... I think I am too much of a canon stickler to have a producersona at the moment? ...... wait does Gatekeeper count he's not a producer but he owns the entire t—

4. what got you into enstars?

✨✨F E L I C I TY ✨✨my bestie!!! I LOVE YOU MWAH MWAH!!! Follow them for the best brat content!!!

5. what’s your favorite headcanon about the character you produce?

That Midori at graduation becomes the tallest idol in ES.

6. how long have you been in the enstars fandom?

A bit more than one year now thank you for having me!!! I'm happy to see it is not dead on social media and the in-game community is so earnest and lovely!!

7. what is your favorite unit?

RYUSEITAI! Immediately was drawn to them. I love the concept of Super Sentai, I found that having an idol unit of them was hilarious and their stories kept delivering! I love how amidst the other units they really are 5 very different people, I love how they keep bursting with personality and how healthy they are together! They make me all warm inside!

8. what is your favorite song?

Forbidden Rain definitely topped it all. I love swinger and having a jazzy song really made me go AAAAA because damn Enstars really does not like getting out of pop does it now. I was so happy too and Koga and Adonis' vocal performance really KILLED IT I knew about Ono Yuki's talent but daaamn I'm really happy to discover Hatano Wataru his range is insaaane IT IS SO HARD to reach this high a note and have a deep voice!!! Adonis the best singer frfr!!!

9. which unit do you think is the most underrated?

RYUSEITAI ofc! I get it vibes go first and sex sells but if you open your mind you'll find all that degenerate stuff and more..!

10. which character do you think is the most underrated?

ADONIS! Adonis is so slept on because he is not as. Ahem. Sexily aggressive as other characters. He does not bring the sexy fantasy angst which they did "somewhat" address it in Forbidden Rain, but then again the game criminally does not put his appeal at the forefront..!

11. do you have a least favorite character?

Boi. That entirely depends on the perspective of least favorite. I'm very much more of a meta media consumer personally rather than an immersed one! Meta wise in my general enjoyment... I think it's hard to pinpoint one least favorite? For the most part, I dislike the characters who make the reading not interesting or even grinding. Like they will drag the already dragging gacha game writing by... just being not interesting. Enstars send its characters on wild goose chases, they are just silly little guys, and if they are not silly well I'm falling asleep. So let's put Kohaku Oukawa, Yuuki Makoto and Isara Mao there at the top. You three are just white guys whose biggest personality trait is liking white bread. And then Sakuma Rei, Sakuma Ritsu, Himemiya Tori and Kagehira Mika because I Know What They Are Designed For And That Makes Me Uncomfortable, technically a whole other bunch do that but they are the worst at it. From an in-universe perspective, definitely Tenshouin Eichi, which I nod to all his fans who handshake me on his atrocities. He is the perfect encapsulation of extremely privileged martyr syndrome and the most cruel acts possible... on an animu high school scale, but an Emperor is still an Emperor. The same goes for those who applied it, I'm thinking Aoba Tsumugi and Hasumi Keito. Again, it depends entirely on how you want to consume Enstars. I like analyzing its world and charismatic characters. From my standpoint, it takes a lot of, to be polite, balls to see teenagers throw themselves off the school rooftop, see the first corpse be dragged off by the medics, and be like "Yes. The purge is working. Let's continue." until there are so many young deaths that there is an epitaph of them. Amongst many other policies. There is a certain level when in the benefit of the doubt or suspension of disbelief something just reach the threshold of ok this is not just the animu tragedy aesthetic (like idk Leo or Madara who have not done anything to entire communities their angst is self contained to their personal story) this is heavy shit. If someone sees this happen once and don't blink I just. Meta wise though? I'm a fan, great antagonists. The realism is what I believe make for this cast a really compelling drama. For Eichi I wish they leaned more into the side of him that is just absolutely discriminatory and cruel to people but then again the writing does not like to lean too hard on one side or the other for gacha projection sake sigh... if it wasn't the case I'd probably be writing him... Eichi is, at the moment, too crafted of a martyr for him to get to the "you meanie you annoy me" to "you are despicable I love you" threshold. Would love to RP someone who brings out this character's full potential! I had way too much to say on this segment, but that is how I enjoy media to just. Surgically break it down with all its flaws and love it for that.

12. what was your favorite event?

RYUSEITAI Climax, definitely. Unlike a. LOT of Enstars it had actually interesting and tangible character growth that kept echoing through the characters afterwards, very poignant moments and also every duo had their moments. The cast of the unit being this colorful and endearing made it a very enjoyable read where those clashing personalities actually challenge one another to become better people.

13. which server are you on?

Global English! I'm here for the characterization I don't think I could play a game I cannot read.

14. what card are you currently saving for?

For Yuruseitai and Adonis FS2 in two years... I wanna max those... so better start now... wish me luck.

15. what is your favorite ship?

16. what is your favorite underrated ship?

Can't say Midochia again because it is the most popular ship in the East so...

17. what non-problematic ships do you dislike?

What do you mean they are literally all problematic. Well... No. They are all problematic. I cannot think of a single ship in this game who is not problematic. Every single one of those characters are toxic little shits amped up to 11, that is why they are so fun to see frolicking around. Add intimate relationships and it explodes. Plus, they are also like. All colleagues. Being together is a big 🚩 that complicates so much of their life for no reason so even entertaining that thought in the idol world is oof. But ok let's imagine the question is about ships period. We're really talking here about me playing this game... in roleplay anything goes. Any ship with Kaoru that is not with a girl. There is way too much sausagefest in this leave one for the girlies. I do not care what y'all say anything Kaoru says is... like, anything all those characters say are so coworkery and talking about their idol sex appeal is also like saying to your coworker chef that they cooked the steak nice today. Ok. He's had the heaviest subtext about legitimately falling in love with the main character that I am like. Guys. Guys. Leave him there jfc why you hate girls that much. I also find most ships just wildly professionally inappropriate. I get the shipping as a fandom phenomenon, it's very fun. I mean in-universe. It's like. Putting your entire livelihood at stake for a coworker you find hot I'm kinda eeEeeehhH. Ships I like are usually ones where the intimate connection has been done outside of the industry (the easiest path being in the same school) and then those characters happen to end up in ES. Especially the Leader x Unitmate ones. Antis losing braincells on two years difference between teenagers and here I am losing braincells over work power dynamics I'm thinking way too hard on this—

18. what is your favorite shuffle unit?

AtoZ because I find Chiaki hot, Getto Spectacle for best song and Flambé for best aesthetic.

19. what are your favorite 5* and 4* cards?

I put that sundae card twice I know just assume I REALLY like it... Limited myself to Music!! because jfc...

Again the bunny twice... assume I am really into bunny bois...

20. what are your favorite 3* cards?

21. do you have a favorite story?

idkwhatthedifferenceisbetweeneventandstory? If we're talking about I wanna say the broader story narrative, Meteor Impact and Crossroads is definitely out there! If we're talking Main Story, Music!! first main story introducing ALKALOID and Crazy:B is nice and effective, I enjoyed the twists. SS gets points just because it introduced my best boi Gatekeeper.

22. do you have any enstars ocs?

Gatekeeper got OC-fied don't look at me.

23. do you interact with the enstars community often?

Outside the RPC no, I am on the reddit discord if I got questions (people touch grass and are nice for an occasional pop in) and I interact with the Midochia community on Twitter - everyone is really nice and supportive and we share a single braincell! I do send messages through the ingame chat, again people are mostly teenagers who are living their best life and just enjoying themselves and that is really the healthy type of players I like to be around so I'm sticking to it~!

[osshisan]

hello, about the new enstars fan post where you say that most of the story is sort of unavailable, where do i start digging? you mentioned the wayback machine and the wiki, is it the fandom wiki? + do you recommend a specific story to start with?

OOO thank you for asking i'm so happy to help with this! i hope you don't mind if i write under the assumption that you're a complete beginner with enstars lore >v<)7

(this is also going to be just for the first game (referred to as "!-era"), since i'm actually less read on !!-era (the second game/the one that got localized) than i am with ! . i think it's necessary though since ! has the most basic necessary lore in it. this means the newer units, alkaloid and crazy:b, won't be mentioned-- SO sorry if you were hoping to hear about them in particular)

putting under a cut to not clog peoples' dashes! i'm so sorry this is about to be long but important es stories are going to be even longer so. prepare

where do i find the stories?

using the wayback machine to browse the ensemble stars fan wiki is a great, easy place to find a good majority of !-era stories! you can still use the direct site to preview stories for summaries and involved characters, but unfortunately since happyelements struck the fan wiki for copyright and got every translation hosted on it taken down, wayback is the only way i know of to access links to stories that were hosted there.

here's the link i usually refer to for quick access to stories on the wiki! this one will bring you right to the main story. to branch off and find others, use the Story tab under the wiki's title!

if a story you want to read isn't on the wiki, or you'd just rather read from a different source (wayback runs a little slowly + search bar won't work, and fandom wiki is... what it is), a quick google search is still likely to get you where you want to go. many fan TLers still host their story translations in places like tumblr blogs, dreamwidth pages, twitter threads, or other personal websites!

most basic lore please start here - main story and The War™

the Main Story in ! covers trickstar's revolution of yumenosaki against the status quo enforced by the student council, led by eichi (also leader of fine). you're about to get very acquainted with trickstar; other units do play important parts but trickstar are your protagonists for now. what's equally important about mainsto though is the introduction to dreamfes, SS, and how these idols are actually battling it out through singies and dancies. it'll get you familiar with how things work around here in ye old enstartown, how wild and absurd stuff can get, and you'll get brief intros to several characters and units as well! not everyone but... most of them

after mainsto i strongly recommend reading the Reminiscence stories (aka The War™) !! these take place 1-2 years before the main story and contain VERY juicy general lore for the series. if you aren't leaning towards any units after main story, you probably will be after these. the war stories also provide REALLY important context for character development of LOTS OF THESE GUYS. you don't really have to read them in chronological order (i didn't), so if you're curious: Crossroad features Undead and Akatsuki (particularly rei and keito), Marionette features Valkyrie (past), Checkmate features Knights (get ready for leo tsukinaga), and Element features Fine and Switch (this is a big one). Wonder Game, though it isn't exactly a reminiscence story, is also good to add on-- there's some more on ex-fine and switch in here!

"i read the necessities, now what?"

THE FUN PART: LET THE HEART LEAD, BABY!!!

hopefully from reading the main story and the war someone will have caught your eye, whether it's a particular unit or one or two characters on their own! from here the best path to take is just to follow whoever you're interested in and want to know more about! there's lots of stuff going on with like every unit so the world is your oyster... and if you're lucky you'll get worms of the brain like me and my valkie disease <3

the best resource ever for where to go next is this reading list spreadsheet !! i use this ALL THE TIME; it's sorted by unit and further by individual character to point you to stories that will teach you about your chosen guys.

and that's about it!! SO SORRY if you weren't expecting such a wordy response but i am cursed with verbosity and this series has So Much. i am also thrilled to help people enjoy enstars because for as long as i spent making fun of it, i've actually come to really like and enjoy it... it's definitely a lot of reading but i've had so much fun i haven't minded at all. i hope you can have some of that fun too..!!! love and peace...

[cosmosvel]

Chapter Zero - A (K)nightly Reaper Rises

Character - Tsukasa

Side/mentioned characters characters - Keito, Ritsu, Arashi, Izumi, Unnamed Producer #1 (They’ll be referring to the producer as Phoenix), Unnamed Producer #2 (They’ll refer to this producer as Empress)

Proof-Read? - Yes, Proof-Reader: @ryovel

Time - 22:50

Day - Flashbacks’ Day: After the SS Live in the ! era. Current day: Day before Trickstar’s Live (Yes this happens during the main story of Ensemble Stars!! at least in this Au it happens during the main story)

Summary (kinda) - Tsukasa had another restless night after the SS incident. So he decided to go on a walk... At night. Nothing could go wrong, right?

(Tsukasa’s POV, starting with flashback)

“Are you okay? Tsukasa?”

Those were the words I heard from Empress after the incident… The day after I saw Phoenix in the hospital, unresponsive and in a coma. “Please… Please stay with me Producer! I don’t want to lose you!” I said as tears were streaming down my eyes, almost screaming my lungs out as I watched me and the rest of Knights’ Producer still have their eyes closed in the hospital bed. After that, I started to not feel like myself… Getting more tired during my idol work once Knights joined NEW DI, eating less than I usually did, nightmares over and over again. It’s been usually hell on earth that I’ve been thinking it was right now, still haunted by the scene.

That scene… That damned scene my nightmares were filled with over and over again. Seeing my producer be slashed at the back while posing as their brother to protect them, the them was Nagisa, Hiyori, and Jun… The crimson red blood that was on the floor of the stage and their lifeless blue eyes as it closed. It haunted me even through my second year at Yumenosaki Academy… I won’t forget that sight…

[Timeskip to the present]

I was currently in my dorm room, Izumi’s usual text to remind me to eat was sent a few hours ago and I thankfully was able to manage stomaching down my dinner. I felt like wanting to puke though after I ate, like if my body didn’t let me want to eat but I persisted through it and managed. Narukami had asked me if I was okay and I just replied with a yes as Sakuma was taking a nap.

I stares at the ceiling of my room, my lavender eyes staring at it blankly as I looked at my hand before I got up from my bed. Making sure my roommates weren’t there before leaving the room. It felt odd walking through the dormitory at night since everyone was asleep. The darkness of the night prompted me to turn on my phone’s flashlight. Still remembering the day I ended up finding out about that secret Producer had kept even if the two of us were best friends. Now outside the dormitory, I was just walking to a park. Staring at the night sky as I tried to reach my hand out towards it, looking at the shimmering moon. Like a big star in the sky or…

“Oh what am I even saying” I spoke, before looking at my hand again. Staring at it and more specifically the lavender colored clothed I had wrapped around my right wrist, it belonged to the Producer before they fell into a coma. Those were good times as I looked at the cloth tied to my wrist. Then…

A noise.

One I never wanted to hear again.

The static-like sound of screeching causing me to cover my ears as I see it, the deformed manifestation of a dead idol’s dreams. Frozen by fear, trying to remember how to use my performance magic again after a year before I heard a voice it sounded like my own voice but it wasn't...

“My my… You seem in quite the situation me…”

The next thing I knew my vision blacked out as I fell to the floor but felt a pair of familiar arms catch me… It was my own arms yet it was odd since my own body was unconscious.

(3rd person POV)

The one that carried Tsukasa’s unconscious body was… Another Tsukasa but this one didn’t feel human at all, a inky black smudge under their right eye as it was glowing and that same smudge seen coming from it’s mouth. The other Tsukasa was wearing a black cloak and a mask similar to a phantom thief’s mask. ‘Tsukasa’ put Tsukasa gently on the ground before ‘Tsukasa’ looked at the creature that was approaching the two, causing ‘Tsukasa’ to start singing slightly. White, glitching lilies blooming from the ground as it’s vines wrapped around the creature that was about to attack them. ‘Tsukasa’ was still singing before closing their fist, causing the vines and lilies around the creature to be in a fiery blaze. The blaze consuming the creature as it screeched. ‘Tsukasa’ watched the fire, it’s eyes being empty like a dark ocean or a wilting lavender flower.

The actual Tsukasa eventually woke up, somehow in what looked to be an old bar. There was a small stage near one of the walls of the bar before hearing… Humming? It was a familiar sound to him before he got up, walking around the bar quietly. There thankfully wasn’t anyone else there. Or at least nobody that Tsukasa can see before accidentally bumping into someone before seeing the person before Tsukasa spoke...

"Hasumi? What are you doing here?"

To be continued…

(Author Notes time under here!)

(A/N: Hey everyone I’m Lou! Or you could just call me VEL, I hoped you enjoy my actual first work of writing! If you have any questions feel free to ask me in my inbox and I’ll try to reply. To my friends who from the Live Chat of Weirdos server are seeing this, Happy 1st Anniversary LCOW as of writing this! Let's continue having our writing and passion shine like the stars! Also thank you Ryo for the proof-read :>)

[engstars-sumup]

Idol Stories- Rythm Link

Rei Sakuma

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

Idol Hijack

Return of the Demon King

Swinging in the Everlasting Darkness

Birthday (1)

Kaoru Hakaze

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

Acting Plan T to K

How Many Roses

Birthday (1)

Koga Ogami

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

Wolf will Rock You

Eternal Howl

Adonis Otogari

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

One and Only

Arm Wrestling Contest: Ryth Lin Cup

Tomoya Mashiro

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

Great Speacialty

To You, the Pure White

Birthday (1)

Nazuna Nito

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

Try it on?

Someday the Flower the Flower will Bloom

Birthday (1)

Mitsuru Tenma

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

Future Superstar

One Centimeter Higher

Hajime Shino

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

Overflowing Happiness

Keito Hasumi

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

Disapperance of the Glasses

The Sole Flower in Various Minds

Kuro Kiryu

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

As a big brother

Birthday (1)

Souma Kanzaki

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

After Summer Rain

Bubble Tea After School ?

Birthday (1)

[solaaresque]

will u tell me a little about enstars im kinda interested

ARE YOU. WELL THEN. PREPARE FOR. STUFF.

so! enstars is basically an anime idol game set in a school setting (at least until when the third years graduate but that's not important) SO!! i'll simply explain the ! era lore to u :)

utc!

enstars is basically a rhythm game abt anime idol boys in their anime idol school so it Seems shallow right? but it’s not. the school itself (yumenosaki) is losing it’s reputation bcuz the students are getting “complacent”. so this guy (eichi) decides to create a revolution to change the school’s hierarchy with himself at the top. so he starts this unit—fine—and declares them the “heroes”. but every hero needs a villain, right?

so he picks these 5 students—the oddballs—to use against the public. the oddballs are all gifted, geniuses in their own right. we have an “all-knowing” vampire (rei), a wish-granting fish god (kanata), a magician who isn’t quite human (wataru)—and two others. the leader of the former reigning unit (shu -> valkyrie w nazuna and mika aka his “dolls”) and another magician, though he’s more the “apprentice”—he’s the youngest (natsume)

anyways. the war goes as planned—initially. the eccentrics are “publicly executed” and their reputations are ruined, they’re scorned by the other students. shu becomes depressed and splits his personality into a doll (mademoiselle—it’s suspected to be either some form of did or osdd-1b—read marionette). kanata’s cult stops worshiping him as he stops “granting” wishes (READ METEOR IMPACT NOW!!!). rei is sent overseas to solve everyone’s problems for them. many students die or drop out due to the harsh regime.

eichi, who is terminally ill, falls sick and is rushed to the hospital. his righthand man (keito—he was in a unit (DEADMANZ) with rei and another student, koga) is now in charge of yumenosaki as a member of student council. fine disbands.

a revolution begins to brew. students are unhappy with the stuco’s rules and how it only favours the strong. out of the oddballs, natsume alone is spared—due to the combined efforts of the others.

wataru (in usual jester fashion) switches sides and joins the new fine, as per eichi’s request. then, a new unit is formed. trickstar. there’s hokuto—the son of a popular idol. subaru—who’s dad was an idol, b4 a scandal ruined his life. makoto—a former child model who’s terrifed of cameras. and mao—a member of stuco, and rei’s younger brother’s childhood friend.

and they are the figureheads of the revolution—to dethrone emperor eichi.

so yeah. this is basically a suuuuper quick summary of ! era (there are 2 enstars eras—! and !!. !! is the current era) there’s more side stories + the main stories of !! era but i won't do into those just yet so u can acclimatise ^^

[clockworkspider]

Oh no... They're trying so hard

[ensemble-stories-archive]

Leo Idol Story:

Episode 3

Characters: Leo & Keito

[Episode 1] [Episode 2]

[squidcandy]

Kay it's my birthday this is what I did to celebrate so storytime firstly this tweet blew up

Then this tiktok account posted it

And I was like no way they didn't crosscheck (bc the actual numbers are that keito kept at LEAST 12 pairs in the office and currently has 2 drawers worth of glasses at the dorms and you would KNOW THIS if you read biblio/his 4 star idol story)

So I realize. I have a platform as The Akatsuki Producer

So I make this tweet, experimentally.

Then, I wonder how far I can go with misinformation on the internet because let's be honest the dissipation of enstars lore on the internet is like horrible Fandom telephone and they've given me a Platform.

So I just start lying even more

And people are actually considering it. So naturally, I gaslight them.

And I'm like wait. I can make people read akatsuki stories, all I have to do is FRAME THEM FOR MURDER.

Anyways, happy bday to me and sorry to the irreversible damage I've done