#this is a fantastic book about a variety of queer experiences in Nigeria

[clonerightsagenda]

"I told her that you were the first person I'd ever met as an adult who wasn't ashamed to not want sex. I told her you looked at me and said, Sex, for me, doesn't mean anything. Even if it did, it wouldn't mean what it does for other people. It wouldn't mean closeness. That's just not how I say I love you.

I told her you were the first person I loved without needing to escape. You didn't do drugs, so I couldn't dump my head in them. We didn't have sex, so I couldn't throw my body at the issue. I had to look at myself, and maybe that was the problem? She said, Not even once?, returning to the sex thing with shock. I wanted to slap her, but instead I just said, No, not once. She asked me if I regretted it. I told her no, that we knew other ways to communicate, other ways to love, other ways to touch each other. The conversation made me miss you even more. It reminded me that most people think sex is where love goes to graduate, that sex is where love matures. I always forget that we're not the norm."

from Vagabonds! by Eloghosa Osunde