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#this is a very roundabout way of saying idk how many holes they have down there
thedawningofthehour · 10 months
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Please tell me Donatello doesn't end up paralyzed. And also, I can't believe Leo wet himself XD
If it makes you feel any better I actually didn't plan the spinal injury. It just kind of happened.
Bro I have another ask that talks about the dinosaur sounds I was referencing; when I have the spoons I'm going to hunt down links to all the videos I took inspiration from. Because look, whatever the fuck our ancestors were at the time, they heard that shit and made sure to write down their fear into our very genetic code. It is a primal fear and you'd probably lose control of your facilities as well.
(also it's caused by an influx of adrenaline blocking the hormone that causes our bladders to clench, so it's really not something you can control. Be glad it didn't happen to his bowels)
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nororitz · 22 days
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narumi gen and academic achievement
tags: self-indulgent, bullet points-style, self-imposed stress, academics stuff, curse words, no kaiju au, non-established relationship
note: uh first post yay. english is not my first language ngl. also idk how to format anything please. writing this while i have an essay due tmr morning is crazy though.
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• Recently, you've been stressing yourself over the overwhelming tests and work that never seems to end. After working your ass off for weeks without any respite, all your efforts are finally being paid off.
• Staring back at you was your phone screen with words of congratulations and a high score written along with it.
• Absolutely elated you turned to Narumi Gen, your close friend of many years. Preparing to tell the good news to Narumi who's busy with his controller and some kind of BS5 game.
• There's a high chance of him not even hearing you because he's too absorbed in his gaming, bloodshot eyes boring holes into the screen. Yet, you're still showing him your phone screen anyway, excitedly displaying your proud achievements. The adrenaline rush overpowering the small, hideous doubt stored in a corner of your mind.
• At first, you're sure he didn't even register your voice talking to him. But then suddenly Narumi is putting down his controller and taking the phone from your hand, the BS5 no longer playing game music and sound effects. His bangs block half of his face so you can't read his expression well. Silently, you eagerly awaits his reaction.
• After a while, he says "You worked hard so it's to be expected that you would do well," before handing your phone back to you. It's startling, but Narumi is really someone who is blunt.
• "Yeah...but there was a chance I still wouldn't be able to do it you know?" Narumi, who senses the sadness in your voice, goes still. Finally, he lets out a huff and faces you properly.
• "What are you talking about? Since when did you have so little faith in yourself? You always gave your all in everything so this result isn't surprising in the least." Damn this guy and his attitude.
• But this is pretty much Narumi Gen's roundabout way of saying I've seen you put your effort into this and I believed you would succeed from the start. It might seem like he doesn't care, but Narumi is a person who pays close attention to someone important to him.
• It did kind of sound like he was scolding you though. "Narumi, you really..." "Hah!?!?" Breaking a smile, the bickering between you and Narumi erases the traces of doubt lingering in your mind.
• Narumi is someone who knows about hard work, results, and acknowledgement better than anyone. So, I believe he would think that you were more than capable of achieving the results that you wanted. Even if he's not as direct about it, he has a lot of trust in your abilities.
• If you end up falling asleep in the living room at the end of the day, the familiar sounds of Narumi's BS5 lulling you to sleep. He would take a glance at you before muttering something like a, "You did well," his gaze holding a kind of secret fondness to it.
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can you tell that i love narumi. he might be slightly ooc my brain is fried.
likes, reblogs, and comments are so very appreciated ☆
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bellemorte180 · 4 years
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My Soul to Take....
A/N: okay, this is COMPLETELY unfinished and like I said, ends rather abruptly. Idk if I’ll ever finish it but here is what I have. @clichefangirldreamer, hope you like it.
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Mystic Falls
May 2010
The invitations had been sent out and all of those who had been invited, who were not family, were confused. In the weeks following the spell Bonnie performed, it had been quiet. There were no mysterious deaths within Mystic Falls. There were a few strange accidents about fifty or so miles away from the town but nothing that caught either Bonnie's or Elena's attention. It was Damon who pointed out the weird deaths and swore that it wasn't him.
It was clear that the Originals were hunting for prey but it wasn't often and far away from Mystic Falls. Damon explained that it was most likely because they were so old they didn't need blood as often and when they did, they must be masters at covering their tracks. Stefan still had not returned from wherever he had gone and he made no attempts at contacting any of them; even Damon. It stressed Elena to no end and she found herself spending more and more time with Damon.
Even though it was their clear intent on staying in Mystic Falls, the Originals made zero contact with any of them; outside of the occasional glimpses they saw of them in town. So, it confused all of them when an invitation arrived to dine with them on the second Saturday night in May. Damon all but refused to allow Elena to go but Bonnie felt compelled to accept the invitation, Caroline's number still burning a hole in her wallet and Elena wasn't going to see her best friend walk into the lion's den alone. Thus Damon found himself dressed up in a suit and dragged to the Mikaelson Manner for dinner.
The manor was huge and had a very old southern feel to it. It was located about five miles outside of the town's boundaries. It was surrounded by woods and the property was completely fenced off by a large black iron gate. The front had a roundabout as a driveway with a fountain in the center. The manor was completely white with stone pillars standing tall in the front. There were at least three balconies that could be seen and large windows with shutters on the side. The front entrance hall, when the three of them were granted entrance by a compelled butler, was home to a massive grand staircase.
“I'd rather be dining with Katherine down in the tomb.” He muttered dryly and Elena smacked his chest. He simply rolled his eyes at her and rubbed his chest as though she actually had wounded her. Elena hissed at him to be silent, knowing full well that Damon had a tendency to allow his mouth to get him into trouble.
“I do wonder why they are keeping her down there.” Bonnie mentioned casually. In truth, she forgot about Katherine. For all intentions and purposes, Katherine was gone. After the curse she placed on Caroline, they all knew that Klaus was not going to let her go. So, instead she was still rotting down in the tomb; a fact that Damon found much pleasure in.
“Why little miss witch? Going to use that favor of yours to break her out?” Damon smirked at her.
“Elena!” Bonnie hissed. She had never mentioned to Damon that Caroline offered her a favor in return for the spell she casted. She also wanted to keep that quiet but it was clear that Elena was becoming closer to Damon and Bonnie wasn't sure exactly how she felt about that.
“Welcome!” The three turned to see Caroline strolling towards them, her stiletto heels echoing off the hardwood flooring. She appeared stronger than when they had seen her previously. She was smiling at them widely and had this complete air of happiness that surrounded her. She was in a little black dress and her long blonde hair was piled on top of her head in an impressive updo. The diamond earrings that hung from her earlobes framed her face, drawing attention to her face instead of her body. “I'm glad you could make it. Come, we are having cocktails in the living area. Mr. Salvatore, I understand that you're a bourbon man?” Damon nodded, eyeing her with suspicion. “Perfect. If you would like to be infused in blood please let me know. I can have one of the waitstaff prepare it as such.”
In perfect hostess fashion, Caroline linked her arms with Bonnie and led her guest into the living area. They noticed that they were not the only ones in attendance. All of the Mikaelson siblings were there including the dark vampire Marcel. Damon recognized Rose-Marie, the vampire that warned him of Klaus returning but didn't pay any attention to the dark haired vampire by her side in favor of the one who was leaning against the fireplace in a deep conversation with Klaus.
“Stefan!” Elena's voice cried out and she made her way across the room to him. She launched herself into his arms and wrapped hers around his neck. It took her a moment to realize how stiff his posture was but she quickly became distracted by the sound of breaking glass. Her head turned to see Rebekah, who wore a silk green dress, with a broken glass in her hand and a murderous look upon her face.
“Sorry. I don't know my own strength.” Rebekah muttered. Stefan stepped away from Elena and she looked at him with a hurt expression. Damon pulled her away, concerned that the blonde vampire might attack her in a fit of jealousy.
“Yes, well, accidents do happen.” Caroline replied and snapped her fingers. As though they were trained to perfection, several waiters appeared in order to clean up the mess quickly. Bonnie stood in amazement for she had never seen such flawlessness plan executed before her; for she didn't even see the staff until they were needed. “Now, most of you already know but for those that do not, I only have one rule to my soirees, no bloodshed. That can be handled after.” Caroline turned to Klaus and pointed her finger at him. “And that includes you.” Klaus took her hand and kissed her knuckles.
“I would never dream of ruining one of your carefully planned evenings with bloodshed Sweetheart, especially when you slaved over it for the past week despite the fact that you should have been resting.” Klaus kissed the back of her hand again, smirk firmly in place while Caroline just narrowed her eyes.
“Now Caroline, we have attended many of your gatherings in the past and most didn't end in bloodshed.” Kol chimed up. “In fact I remember one in particular where you looked fetching! Vervain weaved through your hair and everything.”
“No one wants to hear ancient history brother.” Elijah replied, narrowing his eyes at Kol, who had spent the majority of his day in the laps of college girls who now remembered nothing of the terror Kol put them through.
“I wouldn't be so sure. Bonnie enjoyed the history lesson from Freya and I. Didn't you Darling?”
“Don't call me 'darling'”
“I do like them feisty.” Kol leered at her and Bonnie scowled right back.
“Kol. Stop or I'll snap your neck.”
“Freya! Caroline said no bloodshed.”
“I'll allow it.”
“Not fair!”
“Kol.” Klaus replied with a tone that couldn't be argued with. Kol fell silent but glared at his older brother. Klaus turned to his wife and smiled at her. “I do have to agree with Kol on one thing though. You did look beautiful that night.”
“Why were you wearing vervain? Wouldn't that have burned you?” Elena asked and Caroline looked at her with a small smile. It was the first time that Caroline looked at her without a hint of contempt. She either was trying to separate her from the previous doppelgangers or she was just really talented at hiding her true feelings. Elena couldn't be sure which one it was.
“It was when we were still human. The village elders held a Summerfest each year at the close of summer. It was a way to welcome the Autumn season and choose which animals we would keep through the winter and which we would slaughter. It was a night of merry making and lots of drinking.” Caroline chuckled. “That year the elders asked me to help prepare for it. It was a great honor bestowed upon me.”
“A great honor upon me as well.” Klaus replied and smiled at her. The two shared a look for a moment, memories of the first few months together flew through their minds. “Although you did not make it easy love. There were times I thought you would walk away completely.”
“I do not think I could have if I wanted to. Despite others who may have tried to convince me otherwise.”
“She was jealous, Sweetheart. She just wanted to get under your skin.” Klaus replied. He held her close and kissed the top of her head. Most could see that Klaus was not going to allow Caroline out of his arms for most of the night. Having her awake again was still new and hard for him to believe. “It has been a thousand years and her memory still haunts you.”
“Who?”
“One of your ancestors, doppelganger.” Kol chuckled. “You see, you and Katerina are not the first who enjoyed playing brother against brother.” Both Klaus and Elijah hissed. “What? It is the truth, right? She had you both wrapped around her pinky until Klaus wised up and fell the blonde bombshell I am proud to call my sister.”
“Flattery will get you nowhere Kol.” Caroline teased.
“Wait, you're saying that both Klaus and Elijah loved a doppelganger when you were human?” Damon asked with a smirk. “And here I thought the love story of Klaus and Caroline starred only them from the beginning of time.”
“It is our families misfortune to be cursed with the doppelgangers.” Rebekah snapped. Her eyes glared into Elena's. Stefan walked over to her and placed his hand on her shoulder and whispered something to her. She relaxed slightly. Elena however looked at them with a look of contempt and hurt written on her face.
“Tatia was not a curse Rebekah. She may have been jealous and petty but you did not know her like I did.” Elijah replied.
“A thousand years and you're still in love with her.” Klaus stated. Caroline snorted and rolled her eyes but Klaus could tell that she was tense. She always did hate when the conversation turned to Tatia; no matter how many times Klaus reassured her that the girl meant nothing to him now. “Do the Salvatore brothers a favor and do not fall in love with this one. You do seem to have a type.”
“Elena has enough admiration. She is safe from my affections.” Elijah replied. “And I will not lie and say that Tatia did not hurt me, especially when she made it obvious she had been with you. However, I loved her enough to look past it; at least till a point. Without her, vampires would not exists”
“Sounds more like a prehistoric soup opera if you ask me.” Damon chuckled. He raised his bourbon to his lips and fixed his eyes on Klaus and Caroline. “Why don't you enlighten us with details Dracula, Dracula's bride. Whoo me.”  
*
Ancient Mystic Falls
Summer 1000
The fire burned high and the merry cries could be heard from those who were dancing around it. Ale was passed around and for one of the few times, the village wasn't plagued by what could possibly happen with the wolves. It wasn't a full moon and they simply let themselves enjoy the moment. Summer was coming to an end and they were to embrace the autumn season.
Klaus rested his back against a log with a drink in his hand. Ale wasn't one of his favorite drinks but it served a purpose. It helped drown out the memory of Tatia and his brother. True, it had been months since he saw them in the woods and months since he walked away. He knew Elijah had feelings for her but seeing Tatia giving herself to him in the same manner that she did with him was too much to accept and forgive. What hurt the most was his brother's betrayal; Klaus had thought that Tatia had chosen him and Elijah knew that he had taken her to bed.
“Niklaus.” Elijah's voice sounded from beside him and Klaus turned to look at him. He had not really spoken more than a few sentences to him in months and no matter of groveling could Elijah get his brother to break. It was the betrayal that hurt more than anything else and Elijah knew that. He took a seat on the ground and watched his brother glance into the fire absentmindedly. “Please, Niklaus at least speak to me.”
“Tatia looks lonely. Perhaps you should go to her.” It amazed even Klaus how Tatia's name did not come from his lips in bitter resentment anymore. Elijah's eyes moved towards the brown haired girl dancing around the fire in a mask. She was being twirled around by one of the village elder's sons. “Do not worry though brother, I am not one of the many men who you have to fight for her affections anymore.”
“She is hurt by your abandonment.”
“Her heartache is not something that haunts me anymore.” The brothers fell into silence. Neither knew where to go from here. Klaus wanted nothing more than to have the relationship he once had had with his brother but he just wasn't ready for forgiveness just yet, no matter how much grief it caused his mother. Instead of sitting in nothing but silence, Klaus stood and walked away from Elijah completely; taking another sip of ale.
“Perhaps it would be best to rid your soul of the darkness that plagues it Niklaus.” Klaus stopped abruptly and turned. Ayana stood watching him with curious eyes. Klaus had never been close to the witch but he knew that his mother trusted her. She was extremely powerful and even Klaus could feel the magic radiate from her. He knew of his mother's abilities and that Ayana taught her almost everything she knew; his mother passing the magical knowledge onto his brother Kol. Ayana was one of the elders of the village and highly respected one at that.
“What do you know of my soul?” Klaus snapped at her, feeling guilty the moment he did but Ayana did not look offended. If anything she appeared to be far more amused than anything else.
“We are a mix of people here. There is no place like it in the world. Your family comes from far away, a land full of vikings. Your father gave up his wealth and privilege to protect his family.” Klaus knew this and wanted nothing more than to tell the witch that she knew nothing of his father or his family. “I came from somewhere farther south. Where cliffs and rocks clashed with the sea. You could taste the salt in the air. I miss it sometimes.”
“If you miss it, why leave? Why come here?”
“To escape the darkness that was created a thousand years ago.” Ayana moved forward and placed her hand on his shoulder. “I followed the light.” Ayanna motioned her hand to the fire and as though he was under a spell, Klaus looked across the fire and saw something beautiful. Long blonde hair hung down around her waist and the purple flowers that lingered in the fields weaved through the braid at the top of her hair. He could hear her laugh as she danced with the other girls around the fire. “Caroline's family came from a kingdom hundreds of miles from your father's home lands.”
“You know her?” In truth, everyone did. It was a small village and everyone was connected somehow. He knew Caroline through her friendship with his sister but Klaus wondered if they ever shared more than a word or two. The vision he had of Caroline consisted of the sixteen year old girl who made sure the girls finished their chores in quick order. The elders adored her and was trusted among everyone. While Tatia was the girl every man desired, Caroline was the one who seemed to be the most overlooked. In that moment, Klaus wondered why he never really saw her before and how foolish the rest of the village was.
“I was the one to ask her to ensure everything was perfect for tonight.” Klaus looked at Ayana's small smile. The summer festival was given to the village as a gift from the elders. Never before had they had given such a responsibility to someone so young. “She is full of light, is she not?” With that Ayana walked away but Klaus didn't notice. His eyes focused on the smile that was casted upon Caroline's lips.
He moved around the fire just to get a glimpse of her. He saw Rebekah grab her hand and whisper something in her ear. Caroline blushed and laughed, shaking her head. His sister pouted and begged for something. Caroline narrowed her eyes before rolling them and reluctantly agreeing to something. Then a soft melody came from her lips and Klaus was frozen. He had never heard such breathtaking melodies that touched his soul. He once thought his mother had a beautiful voice as she sang to her children in the morning but suddenly, Klaus realized that he was completely wrong.
He simply stood transfixed, listening to her voice. There was something in the air; as though her voice casted a spell. Those around him seemed to agree that her voice was enchanting but none of them seemed to be completely lost in her. He didn't understand what was happening to him. He had known her for years but it felt like this was the first time he really saw her; he didn't understand but it was as though he felt magic in the air, drawing him towards her.
He looked to the ground and saw a mask made of deer skin and fur lying on the ground. He grabbed the mask and placed it upon his face. While not everyone wore masks during the festival, many did. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tatia still dancing around the fire with a mask firmly on her face. Instead of gravitating towards her, as he would have months prior, he moved towards Caroline and his sister. He wanted nothing more than to take Caroline's hand but he knew that she may seem suspicious since he never spoke with her outside the normal pleasantries.
Instead, he held out his hand to Rebekah and smiled at his sister. Rebekah's smile grew bright and she happily took his hand while Caroline took another villager's. The siblings danced happily around the fire and once the dance demanded a switch of partners, Klaus happily took Caroline's hand. They spun and danced. Klaus basked in her laughter as he spun her around; her hair flaring around in the night. When the dance came to an end, Klaus took her hand and kissed her knuckles. Before Caroline could question him, Klaus weaved his way through the crowd.
*
The village returned to normal the next morning. Villagers returned to their chores. Women cooked and reared the children. Men built the huts, repaired shelter and hunted for food. Klaus wandered through the huts looking for his sister. He finished his chores as quickly as possible and left both Elijah and Finn behind with questioning looks upon his face. It was still warm, for the fall chill had not set in, and Klaus knew that some of the young ladies would be washing their laundry at the river.
Once he reached the section of the stream that didn't reach the woods yet but ran down towards the Falls, he saw a line of several of the village girls washing their families clothes. Laugher could be heard coming from the river. He eyed the girls, seeing his sister speaking with Caroline. Caroline laughed and Klaus latched onto the sound. He reveled in it for a moment before he made his way towards them.
“Rebekah.” He called out and his sister looked up. She smiled at him the way his sister always did. She had her moments when Klaus wanted to rip his hair out but she could be sweet. He walked up to them and looked down at the girl. “Good morning Caroline. Thank you for our dance last night.”
“Of course. It was enjoyable. Although I am surprised, you normally are one who does not dance unless forced.” Her tone was playful but Klaus could see the curiosity behind her blue eyes. It was true. Normally, he would enjoy the ale, socialize with those he liked and would run off with Tatia once she had danced with Elijah. Yet, last night he felt the need to dance with her.
“That is true but I felt rather compelled to do so.” He flashed a dimpled smile at her. “You have a lovely voice.” Caroline flushed slightly but continued to gaze at Klaus with questioning eyes. “Rebekah, a word?” Rebekah, whose eyes were darting between her brother and her friend, nodded and began to follow her brother into the woods.
“Nik, what is it? You know how father feels about us interrupting our chores.” Rebekah hissed. Mikael grew angry whenever he learned that one of his children was not being what he considered productive. In truth, it was usually Kol, who was easily distracted by magic, that ignored his responsibilities but Rebekah knew the consequences. Mikael would never strike Rebekah, for she was his favorite, but if he learned that Niklaus was the one distracting her, the punishment would be severe.
“I will only be a moment and father will never need to know.” Rebekah nodded and looked at him. “I wanted to ask you about Caroline.”
“Caroline?”
“Yes.”
“What of her?” Rebekah was surprised. Klaus had never taken an interest in her before. Her and Caroline had been friends for years, one of the few people her father allowed her to associate with, and no matter how many times Rebekah mentioned her, Klaus never seemed to be listening. Yet, looking at him now she could see the vulnerability written upon his face. “Oh no. You cannot fancy Caroline! She is the closest person outside of my family that I have!”
“I have no intentions of hurting her-”
“What happens when Tatia bats her eyes at you again? What happens when she tires of Elijah and comes to you? She will because she is a fickle little girl who cannot keep her legs closed.” Rebekah hissed. Her hatred of Tatia was never concealed.  She hated the tension Tatia caused between her brothers and was of the opinion that the only way for that tension to end would be for Tatia to be gone.
“I'm done with Tatia.” Rebekah cocked her head, challenging him to prove her wrong. “A few months ago, I saw her with Elijah. They were intimate.” It felt strange to be discussing such things with his baby sister but she knew what went on between a man and woman; despite the fact that she was innocent. “I had known, both Elijah and I did but it was different seeing it with my own eyes.”
“Oh Nik. That's why you've been so sad.” Rebekah reached out and touched his arm. “Tatia never deserved you. Neither of you.” She watched her brother. She had known the pain both Klaus and Elijah felt watching the girl he had feelings for being with the other. She wanted them both to be happy and there was a change that Klaus was done with Tatia for good. “No. Caroline is not spoken for. Some have tried but she is stubborn. She makes them work for it and if she finds them disappointing, she walks away. She won't make it easy on you.”
“I wouldn't ask for anything less.”
“Every morning when I gather the water for the day she joins me. Since we need more pales than her family, she helps bring them back to our hut before heading to hers.” Klaus couldn't help smile at that. From the little he knew of Caroline, that seemed to be something would do. “She is a helper Nik. She sees a problem and she will do anything to make it right. Do not make me regret this.”
*
Just as Rebekah had indicated, Caroline was waiting for her by the river to collect the day's supply of water. She appeared completely unsurprised to see Klaus accompanying his sister.  He had thought that he would be greeted with a wide smile and shocked eyes. While Caroline did smile coyly at him, he was also greeted with a cocked eyebrow. She was expecting him and he silently cursed Rebekah. At least she had the decency to look ashamed.
“Rebekah, Niklaus. Good morning.” Caroline smiled at them before turning her gaze onto Klaus. “When Rebekah told me that you would be joining us this morning, I have to admit that I was rather curious. You've never collected water before, why the sudden change?” She was challenging him and Klaus couldn't help but toss her a dimpled smile.
“Oh, look Ayana. I need a few herbs. Excuse me.” Rebekah all but ran from them. This caused Caroline to laugh loudly. Her head was thrown back and Klaus couldn't help but enjoy the sound of her laughter. It was musical and joyful. He had thought that the sound of her voice signing a tune the other night was the most beautiful sound but her laugh was far more hypnotic. Klaus wanted nothing more than to be the reason why she laughed.
“She is not very subtle, is she?” Caroline asked.
“Rebekah and subtlety are not two things that mix well.” Klaus teased and Caroline nodded.
“Well, since you requested to speak with me this morning, the least you could do is help me gather water for your family.” Caroline smiled and bent to pick up one of the wooden pales before turning her back on him. Klaus bent down and grabbed two before running after her. He was surprised at how quickly she walked to the point that he was all but running to catch up to her.
“Slow down love or I would think you're purposely running from me.” With that Caroline stopped abruptly and Klaus nearly crashed into her. Caroline turned and looked at Klaus. Her blue eyes darted across his face as though she was searching for something.
“Rebekah told me that you have taken an interest in me. I do not understand the sudden change. You have known me for years, since we were children. Rebekah and I played in the flowers while you and Kol pretended to sword fight. Even then you just accepted me as your sister's friend. You were never mean but you never spoke much to me either. So, why now?”
“I fancy you.” Caroline sucked in a breath, not expecting him to be so blunt. There was a hint of vulnerability there that made her heart clench.  “Is that so hard to believe?”
“Yes!”
“Why?” Klaus paused. “You're beautiful. You're strong. You're full of light. I enjoy you.” Caroline could not help but be flattered by his pretty words but she hardened herself. She was not one who would fall for the first man who paid her compliments. If that was the case, she would be married with children chasing her skirt already and probably with a brute of a husband. She saw the misery her mother's marriage was made of and wanted nothing of the sort. While her father was not violent, there was no love between them. Perhaps she was a dreamer for the times but Caroline made a vow that she would never marry a man who was unworthy of her affections.
“Years of silence, of nothing and suddenly you expect me to believe that you fancy me? Emotions and feelings take time to grow. You never noticed me before.” Caroline replied. “And what of Tatia?” That caught Klaus off guard. While he was not going to hide the fact that he had a history with Tatia, he did not expect her to be aware of it already. “That is the worst kept secret in the entire village. Everyone knew that you were courting her but everyone knew that Elijah was as well; and the fact that there is a rift between you and Elijah.” Klaus's eyes closed and Caroline reached out, taking his hand in comfort. “It has been obvious that you have been sad. Rebekah told me yesterday that you ended things and took a step back; allowing Elijah to continue his relationship with her.”
There were two items flashing through Klaus's mind. The first was that Rebekah did not explain that Klaus caught Elijah and Tatia in a compromising position but rather just stated he stepped away. The second was the wave of sympathy Caroline seemed to have for him. Her compassion for him caught him by surprise. Outside of Rebekah, never had someone shown him such compassion, not even his own mother who kept him at arms length for fear of Mikael's temper.
“You're right. I did walk away.” Caroline said nothing but allowed him to continue. “I walked away months ago. I will not lie to you and say that I never had feelings for her but I had months to mourn them and let go. While I am still angry with Elijah, it has more to do with the fact that he betrayed me and not Tatia herself.”  Caroline nodded, understanding his words and accepting them.
“Why me?”
“I saw you with vervain in your hair and you looked happy. I never saw anything like it.” Klaus paused, taking a deep breath. “And then you began to sing. I will never lie to you and say that I have been nursing a childhood infatuation. You are right when saying that I always acknowledged you as my sister's friend. Another girl in the village but hearing you sing; it was as though I was seeing you with fresh eyes.” He took a step forward, standing tall over her. Tatia always looked down bashfully when he stood too close but Caroline stood her ground; looking into his eyes with equal force. “Take a chance. Get to know me. I dare you.”
“I guess it is a good thing that I can never refuse a challenge.” Her voice was breathless and her blue eyes flickered across his face. She knew that he was not lying to her but she still would hold him at arm's length for the time being. Much like Klaus himself, Caroline never thought of him as a romantic partner. She could admit that he was handsome but so were his brothers. She knew him well enough through Rebekah to know he was not cruel like his father; in fact she felt sympathy for him in that regard. Despite all of that, she would at the very least, give him the chance. “Once our chores are done for the day, you may walk with me around the edge of the trees.”
This caused the smile on Klaus's lips to grow wide with joy. “I promise that you will not come to regret this.” Caroline laughed, seeing Rebekah approaching out of the corner of her eye. He reached down and took her hand. She marveled at the feel of his lips on her knuckles. It was improper and if the wrong person saw them, she would be married by the end of the week because her parents would insist upon it. He smirked at her again and turned, heading off in the other direction.
“I think I already am.”
*
When she was nervous, Caroline had a tendency to bite at her nails. She rushed through her chores, not even snapping at the girls who would rather giggle over the men of the village than finish the tasks assigned to them. Instead she just let them waste their time and completed the tasks herself. The work took the fear of what would transpire later in the day off of her mind. However, once the chores were completed and instead of walking back to her family's hut for sometime spent either alone or with her mother, Caroline made her way towards the base of the woods.
She did not have to wait long before she heard footsteps approaching her. She turned to see Klaus approaching her with a wide smile on his lips. Caroline could not help but smile back at him. Once he reached her, he held out his hand and she linked their fingers together. She caught sight of his dimples but before she could comment, Klaus pulled her into the woods. His pace was quick and Caroline was practically running in order to keep up with him. They weaved through the trees but stayed away from the deepness of the forest. She could see the darkness out of the corner of her eye but the sunlight still graced her skin. Overtime, Caroline knew that darkness would encroach upon the trees but for now, she was perfectly happy to run in the sun.
“Where are we going?” Caroline asked.
“I want to show you something. I asked my brother to help me. I hope you don't mind. He won't stay for long.” Klaus added and Caroline could tell that they were getting close to the falls. She had only been to the falls a few times because it was dangerous during certain times of the month. The wolves lived on the side and crossing into their territory was an unwise decision.
“Elijah?”
“No, Kol.” That surprised Caroline. From everything Rebekah has told Caroline about her brothers, Kol was the biggest troublemaker. He was also the only child to inherit his mother's magic. He was a natural at it and liked to express it as much as possible. However, instead of using his gifts to heal those like his mother, he used his powers to pull pranks upon each of his siblings. It infuriated Rebekah to no end.
Before she could inquire more, Klaus pulled her into a clearing that she had never seen before. It was nothing more than a field but it was filled with rows and rows of vervain. Caroline had not known that it grew here for she thought that it only grew at the base of the giant white oak. She couldn't help but reach out and touch the beautiful flowers. Klaus reached down and picked one, placing it in her hair.
“How?” Klaus turned and pointed. Leaning up against a tree on the far side of the clearing was Kol and beside him was the youngest Mikaelson, Henrik. Kol whispered something to the young boy and Henrik's laugh echoed through the flowers. Kol waived before pulling his younger brother away.
“I asked Kol to make the vervain bloom here because I know it is your favorite flower. I thought you would enjoy seeing thousands of them bloom at once.” Klaus smiled at her and he saw Caroline bend down to pick another flower. She smelled them, taking in their scent. “You've never looked more beautiful.”
“Flattery and cheap tricks will not win my affections.” Caroline snapped but he could tell that she enjoyed seeing the flowers. It had taken some convincing but Kol agreed to do the little bit of magic in exchange for Klaus's taking over one of Kol's chores-grooming the horses. While it meant Klaus would spend the better part of the week with the horses, it was worth it to see Caroline fighting her enjoyment. “I am not someone who can be easily bought. If that is what you think of me, I shall find my own way back to the village.”
“Come on, take a chance Caroline. Talk to me.” Klaus smirked as he sat down on the ground in the middle of a million vines of vervain. “Come on, get to know me. I dare you.” He had her there and he could see it. Caroline was fearless and never one to turn down a challenge. Despite herself, Caroline found herself sitting down on the ground facing him.
“Fine. What do you want to talk about?”
“I want to talk about you.” Caroline shook her head in amused annoyance. “Your hopes. Your dreams.” She laughed again. “Everything you want in life.”
“Just to be clear, I am too smart to be seduced by you.”
“Well, that is why I like you.”
*
Ancient Mystic Falls
Autumn 1000
The weeks pressed forward and the leaves began to change, falling to the ground. The village prepared for the upcoming winter by gathering what they could for food storage and prepped their cattle. Huts were reinforced and logs gathered for fire; lengths were taken to keep them dry. Chores increased for the young as expected. Despite the work, Klaus still met Caroline every day at the edge of the woods. They did not venture far into the woods as they had the first time but they still strolled until the sun was completely set.
The village began to notice the time the two spent together. Ayana smiled at the two of them, as though she was seeing a long awaited event to take place before her. Soon it was known that Klaus was courting Caroline, even if the young woman in question refused to acknowledge it. Even though the two spent copious amounts of time in each other's company, Caroline found it hard to allow herself to be open about her intentions with Klaus.
Klaus could not be considered a patient man but found that with Caroline, he was willing to wait as long as possible for her to realize that he was serious in his attraction to her. He could see the walls that Caroline put up around her emotions and it was a slow process to chip away the stone that enclosed her heart. He could see that his attempts were not for nothing. Her smile was brighter when she saw him, her laughter louder. Her hand reached for his, linking their fingers together. It gave him hope...even if it drove him to distraction. Despite all of his patience, Klaus found that there were times that he wanted nothing more than to make Caroline see what was directly in front of her.
“Why are you so stubborn?” Klaus huffed. It was not a good day. Due to Kol's incompetence, Klaus had to endure another lecture from their father. He should be pleased that it was only harsh words and nothing violent but it made him late in seeing Caroline. When he arrived, it was clear that Caroline was keeping him at arm's length for the day. There were times when she was open with him and readily enjoyed herself and then other times that she was cold and distant. “Why can you not simply recognize that my feelings for you are real!?”
“Recognize your feelings!?” Caroline hissed. Klaus never pushed her. Never once asked for more than she was willing to give. Yet, today she could tell that his mood was foul and hers had not been much better. “You cannot just come into my life and expect me to believe that your intentions are true. Men lie and they make promises and then they leave you to cry well into the night. I refuse to let that become my life.”
“I have spent weeks trying to convince you that I want you. That my feelings for you are real.” There was vulnerability written on his face. She could tell that her reluctance was hurting him and that made her feel guilty. She did not want to hurt him but the possibility of falling for him scared her more than she expected.
“What do you want from me Nik?” It hurt him to hear such heartbreak in her voice and he loathed that he was the one who put it there. He wanted her to see that he was not playing some game with her. He knew that she was still suspicious of Tatia and thus made a special effort to not even glance in Tatia's direction when they were in the same part of the village as her. “Just tell me what you want.”
“I want your confession.”
“My confession? I have done nothing. Confession about what?”
“Me.” Caroline startled slightly. “As soon as we are done here, I will leave you to your thoughts. I will walk away and leave you in peace if that is your choice. You will never again have to look me in the eye and cover our connection with the cold hostility you sometimes process. You will never have to break down your walls for me only to rebuild them before we meet again. You will never have to face the part of you that cares for me. If you want nothing of me, I will let you go. You will be free. I just want you to be honest with me.”
Caroline could see the pain that this gave him. She could see the disappointment and hurt that letting her go caused him; but he was willing to do it if that is what she wanted.  Caroline enjoyed Klaus even when she pulled away from him. She fought the feelings that were developing inside of her because she didn't want to become the one thing she feared the most; and Klaus had that power to do that to her.
“I just turned seventeen. I know that I am of marrying age and it is something that I have been thinking about for years. You are not the first who has tried for my hand but I refused them all. I know that if I do not choose soon, my father will do it for me.” Caroline closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I want to build a life for myself. A home with a husband and children. Up until a few weeks ago, none of those things included you. The fact that you have so suddenly made those plans so real terrifies me.”
“I see.” She saw the hope fill his eyes and he stepped forward. Part of Caroline wanted to back away but she held her ground. Her head tilted upward and looked into his eyes. He was close enough to touch but neither reached out.
“No, you do not.” Caroline hissed. “Yes, I cover our connection with cold hostility because yes I hate myself for allowing you to have such power over me. I hate that the future I dreamed about is so close that I could touch it. I hate it because it is only a dream and never reality. I hate the feelings that I have because I know that one day, it will break me and I will have no escape. I will be trapped, only to be broken over and over again. I hate that it will be you to be the one who breaks me.”
“Where is this coming from Caroline? What have I done to make you feel this way?”
“Nothing. You've done nothing but be everything that a girl could want in a man who courts her.” Caroline whispered. “Sometimes I lose myself in the idea of what could be between us. Other times reality is played out before me.” She looked down at her hands. “I am terrified of becoming my mother.” Klaus's brows creased at that, not understanding her words and he said as much. “My mother has loved my father since they were children. It was no surprise when he requested her hand and when she fell pregnant with me, she was ecstatic. That is until she learned that my father was unfaithful to her.”
“It is common for men to find pleasure outside the home.” The moment the words left his lips, Klaus realized that it was the wrong thing to say and attempted to backtrack. “But that does not make the pain the woman feels any less real.”
“My mother still cares for him but knows that he never really loved her in return. It has made her bitter. My father loved another. Someone he could not have and married my mother because it was expected. The truth tore my mother to shreds and is only a shadow of the woman she used to be. She lives with the knowledge everyday that she was not his first choice. I want to be someone's choice and not what is expected.”
“Is it a woman in the village?”
“No. It was before my parents settled here and before I was born.” Caroline paused, wondering if this would change everything. “And it wasn't a woman at all.” That confession caused shock to be written all over his face. “It was why they fled England. My father and his lover were found out. While he was never in love with my mother, he cared for her and for his child. His lover was executed and they ran.”
“I see.”
“And now you hate me.” Caroline turned to walk away. It was always a fear of hers that someone would discover her father's secret and turn away from her- she never thought she would be the one disclosing it. She could not bear to see the scorn in Klaus's eyes and wanted to run as fast as she could from him.
“No!” He grabbed her hand. “I could never hate you Caroline. I cannot hate you for something that you did not commit.” He took both of her hands into his and kissed her knuckles. That was the only intimacy that she allowed and Klaus knew that it was something he could not push. She was an innocent and he wanted to keep her as such until he was able to lay claim to her. “Is that your confession then? Is that what you feel for me? Fear that I will break your heart?”
“If you promise that you will never look at another as you look at me right now, I will be honest with you. I will be honest with you about what I feel for you.”
“Caroline, I will never be able to see such beauty in another for it does not exist elsewhere for me. I know that other men say pretty things and never mean a word of them but you are the exception to every rule I have been taught. If I had you, then there is no need for me to find pleasure elsewhere. I promise.” Her eyes traced over him, her hands still linked with his. She moved closer and Klaus remained still. She was so close that Klaus's forehead almost rested against hers. She had never been that close before and he was afraid that his restraint would break and he would devour her lips like the many times he had imagined.
“Good.” With that, Caroline leaned up and pressed her lips to his gently. It wasn't deep or passionate but it was enough. It was enough for him to understand what Caroline was feeling. He could sense her fear and vulnerability, almost as though it was his own. He also could feel her desire and everything that she wanted in life. Klaus could feel that she could possibly want it with him.
*
Like every month before it, the full moon came. The villagers flocked to the caves with fur from the animals they killed and food for the night. Most gathered before the sun set and prepared small fires. The only thing that differed this month was the fact that Klaus escorted Caroline to the caves and settled near her family. Neither parents of the couple said a word, for the attachment was obvious, but they kept a close eye. Elizabeth and Bill looked on with smiles while Esther watched them with curiosity and fear. Mikael ignored them all together.
Caroline leaned against the stone wall with Klaus on one side and Rebekah on the other. Henrik found his way to them and settled beside Klaus. The three of them amused the young boy for a while until the sky grew dark and the only light was the fire lit before them. Henrik fell asleep easily and the rest settled into conversation. In the darkness, Klaus easily took Caroline's hand knowing that beside Rebekah, no one would notice. He would hold it until her mother called her away in order to sleep for the night. Despite their courtship, it would be improper for Klaus to hold her as she slept.
“She is staring again.” Caroline whispered and Klaus looked up to see Tatia's eyes on them. She was a ways down but the flicker of the flame made out her person easily. Caroline had been complaining that Tatia had been watching her. The other girl never approached Caroline or sought her out but during their chores she could feel Tatia watching her. She never appeared angry or upset, but rather curious about her. “I think she hates me.”
Klaus said that if it continued or if she bothered Caroline, he would request Elijah to speak with Tatia. Caroline declined, not wanting a row to break out between the brothers over her. In the weeks that Caroline and Klaus began their courtship, the relationship between the Klaus and Elijah eased slightly. While they were not exactly on speaking terms, they no longer avoided one another. They exchanged pleasantries, completed what was expected of them and moved on. It was progress and that pleased Caroline.
She refused to be the reason they endured a set back.
“She is harmless and her emotions towards you are irrelevant.” It was true. There really was not much Tatia could do. The village knew of Tatia's reputation and anything she would say would hardly be believed; with the exception of Elijah and any other man that was infatuated with her. There was no hint of violence but if it came to that, Caroline knew that she was stronger than the other girl.  “She is just angry that I chose you and not her.”
Caroline smiled and Klaus leaned in to kiss the top of her head. A cough echoed and they saw Caroline's mother watching them. Her eyes were hard but there was a gentle tone behind her eyes; as though she couldn't be too angry with them. The village knew by now what the end result of their courtship would be. The question was becoming when the event would transpire. While they have not been courting long, there were those who wondered why Klaus had at least not approached Bill for his permission to marry Caroline yet.  
The slow progress of their courtship was something Tatia had taken notice of. Caroline could always feel the girl's eyes on her and she could not help but feel self conscious. When she was younger, Caroline always compared herself to the other girls in the village, including Tatia. Despite the fact that Tatia was a couple years older, Caroline desired to be like her in a way. Tatia was beautiful, vivacious and had a laugh that pierced the air around her; however she was also catty, cruel and did anything that drew attention to herself. She married very young, gave birth to her daughter only months after her wedding and was widowed within the year. Caroline wanted that attention and always envied Tatia for it, especially since she did nothing to earn it. Now that she had Klaus, Caroline could not help but feel as though Tatia would do anything to take Klaus away from her.
Caroline was about to reply when her mother called for her. Klaus smiled at her and Caroline moved towards the section that her mother and father were occupying. The cave was completely dark, with the exception of the flames from the fires and most have lain down to sleep. She laid upon the soft fur located beside her mother and closed her eyes. When the morning came, Caroline made her way from the cave, only able to give Klaus a smile. Esther ushered her children out of the cave quickly, sending a curious glance as she did.
“He is going to have to speak with your father soon.” Elizabeth said, pulling Caroline from her musings. They walked across the lane that went back to their hut. Caroline looked at her mother in confusion, which only caused Elizabeth to smile. “Klaus. His intentions are clear and the village wonders why he has not made an offer yet. Your father will accept of course. He likes Klaus and thinks the two of you would do well together.”
“What?” Caroline blinked, her mother's assertion taking her off guard.
“Marriage. That is of course what Klaus is after?” Elizabeth looked at her daughter closely, eyeing her as though she could see any misdeed. However, Caroline just looked at her mother confused. While Caroline knew the concept of what happened between a man and a woman, she was still innocent. “Klaus has not done anything improper, has he?”
“What?! No. Mother of course not.” She shook her head and she could see Elizabeth relax. “I just was not expecting you to bring it up.” Ever since their argument in the woods, Caroline could not help but allow herself to dream about becoming Klaus's wife. It still frightened her but she could tell the difference in his mannerisms with her compared to the ones her father showed her mother. “Do you think he will speak with father soon?”
“I spoke with Esther and- Oh!” Elizabeth stumbled slightly and dropped the basket full of blankets she had been carrying. Caroline put down her own basket and began helping her mother gather the blankets that spilled out onto the ground. Soon another set of hands joined in and Caroline looked up to see Tatia looking at her curiously again. Tatia handed a few blankets to Caroline and gave her a small smile; a smile that Caroline could not tell was genuine or not.
“Thank you.”
“Of course.” Tatia replied and stood. She held out her hand and a small girl, no older than three, grabbed it quickly. “Come my sweet, perhaps if you are a good girl, grandmother will make that bread you like.” Tatia took her daughter and left Caroline standing there, watching her. Tatia never really paid Caroline any attention before nor would she stop to help someone else. She wanted to believe it was an act of kindness but Caroline was intelligent enough to know otherwise.
*
The weather was growing colder. The first snow had yet to fall but the ice could be felt in the air. When Caroline breathed, it felt as though ice invaded her chest. She wrapped the furs around her tighter, waiting for Klaus. He was late and it was beginning to worry her. There were only a few times that Caroline beat him to the forest and it was due to him being held up by one of his siblings. When she was the first to arrive at their meeting place, Klaus was soon to follow.
Caroline had now been waiting for an hour and Klaus was nowhere to be seen. At first she had been angry, thinking that Klaus had forgotten about her. While she tried to be more open with Klaus, there were times that she still expected the worst out of him. She knew that he had done nothing to deserve it but deep down she still feared that he would betray her the way her father betrayed her mother. He was a man and it was expected; she just hoped that they would be the exception. When time pushed forward and he still did not come, Caroline began to worry that something had happened to him. When she heard the leaves behind her crinkle, she felt herself relax.
“Niklaus, I should be very cross-” Caroline paused, she saw that her intruder was not Klaus, but instead his brother. He looked haggard and stressed. He was not dressed in appropriate clothing for the weather and she could see the concern in his eyes. “Elijah? What are you doing here? Where is Nik?”
“He sent me. He is indisposed. He sent me to let you know that he is unable to meet you. Niklaus did not want you waiting in the cold.” Elijah could not meet her eye and Caroline narrowed hers. Elijah and Klaus relationship was progressing but not to the point where Klaus would send Elijah's to deliver a message for him. That was normally done by Henrik or Rebekah. As she looked Elijah over, Caroline noticed that there was a tiny fleck of blood on his knuckle. She reached out and grabbed it.
“What happened? Where is he?”
“He is alright. Rebekah is tending to him.”
“What happened?”
“Caroline-”
“Tell me or I will find him myself.”
“He mentioned you were stubborn.” Caroline only poured her gaze into him, letting him know that she was serious. “He and our father got into a rather harsh discussion. Our father is not one for mincing his words, especially when it comes to Niklaus.”
“He beat him.” Caroline stated in a matter of fact tone with a touch of venom mixed in as well, taking Elijah by surprise. Klaus had disclosed the nature of his relationship with his father and the knowledge that Mikael could become violent towards his son was unsettling for Caroline. “Where is he?”
“At our hut.” With that, Caroline moved past Elijah quickly. He grabbed her arm, spinning her to face him again. “It would be unwise for you to go there now. Father left in a storm but he will be back at some point before dark.”
“I do not belong to your father and even if I did, I would still go. You cannot stop me.” The conviction in her words had Elijah really considering her. He never thought much of Caroline in any sense before. He liked her well enough and knew Rebekah was fond of her. He was taken by surprise when he learned that Klaus had started courting her and even more so when he was clearly serious about pursuing her. Selfishly he was pleased because it meant that Klaus was less likely to return to Tatia but he also wanted his brother to find happiness.
“You love him.” The words caught Caroline by surprise. Did she love Klaus? In truth she did not know. She knew that her emotions ran deep but they had only been on this course for a short period of time. Love came after marriage for those who were lucky. If Klaus asked for her hand, she would give it but her heart was another matter. Unless she had already given it without her realizing it? “I'll walk you but it is best if you leave before father returns.”
Caroline nodded and the two set off at a brisk pace. They were silent and Caroline found that they could not reach the hut quick enough. When they arrived, Elijah opened the wooden door and ushered Caroline inside. She had never been in their family hut before, not even with Rebekah, only seeing the outside of it. It was bigger than hers and was made up of about four rooms. The room Elijah ushered her into was a common room. There was a long table in the center and a fireplace built into the far wall. Esther was stirring something in the cast iron pot that was placed above the fire. When Esther saw that Caroline had accompanied Elijah back, she just motioned her head towards one of the doors on the other end.
“Caroline.” She turned to see Esther looking at her. “You should not be here. I would hate for my son to take another beating because of you.” Caroline paused and just glared back at her. She had always got the feeling that Esther did not particularly like her. However, her mother and Esther have spoken about the possibility and Elizabeth never once mentioned that Esther seemed opposed to it.
“What?” Before Esther could elaborate, Caroline heard Klaus hissed and she took off towards the sound. The sound came from a room in the very back of the hut. The room had several small beds made of hay and it was clear that this was the room for the older boys. Klaus was lying on his stomach, shirtless and Rebekah was dabbing what appeared to be wounds on his back with a cloth. “Nik?”
Both Klaus and Rebekah looked up to see Caroline's eyes filled with tears. She edged closer and saw that there were deep gashes on his back that appeared to be from a whipping. Not only that but there were old scars beneath the fresh ones, telling Caroline that this was not the first time Mikael has whipped him. She brought her fingers to the base of her eye and wiped away the tears. She held out her hand to Rebekah, asking for the cloth she was holding. Rebekah nodded, stood, gave the cloth to Caroline and left the room. Rebekah left the door open and sat down on a wooden stool just in sight of them both. Caroline knelt down on the floor and dipped the cloth into the bucket of water before attending to the wounds. Klaus hissed again, his fingers digging into the bed.
“Sorry.” Caroline whispered.
“It is alright.” Klaus replied. “You shouldn't have come.”
“Everyone is saying that.”
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persiantrashboi · 8 years
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Today was an eventful day 1. sorry I'm Doing this on tumblr. Idk why but it feel easier to keep up with if I think someone might read it . Any way you can block (tr)ash talking or diary entry if you don't want to see this 2. MY flight was delayed 2 hours 3. I spent money on a really dumb shirt and I'm pretty ashamed /embarrassed that I did? But also I think it will be fun to wear to parties and stuff and it's really good quality and was pretty cheap 4. When I went to buy the shirt I knew it was half price cause I had seen it online but the guy tried to charge me full price so I was like excuse me. And then he was like nope it's not on sale so I was thought I was wrong and I left. Then I went back and realized it had a blue dot which means half price so I argued with him and he was like nah that's wrong so I bought the shirt online for half price when I got home. I'm really pissed about it and I'm not sure why he would do that? 5. I am wondering if it is because his friend wanted the shirt or because I am brown or because it was an MENS shirt and I don't look or sound like a man or because I am dressed like a lesbian today 6. Sunny comes out in two days 7. I'm writing this on the plane back to school after winter break idk I'm half excited to see everyone like the iasip boy and my director friend who has been snap chatting me recently (he convinced me to buy the shirt tbh and my friend who likes rpdr and my friend who is going to be my assistant this quarter and my friend who is really good about not misgendering me, but I'm half really really anxious 8. A girl from my hall at school is sitting a few rows ahead of me on the plane. We are friends on Facebook. I wave to her As I pass. She waves back. Her friend who is next to her says who is that. I don't know she responds. 9. I'm reading This Is How You Lose Her by Junot Diaz right now and it's really really incredible. I don't think I know of anyone who writes about the immigrant experience better than Junot Diaz. 10. A choice quotations from This is How You Lose Her are listed below 11. "As we walk over to the courtesy golf cart, I say, I feel like you rejected my whole country, Magda" I have had so many Magdas in my life it's painful. Every time someone says something about Iran or makes a comment about Indian doctors not being as good as American doctors, it goes straight to my heart. Every time one of my American friends opens their mouth about one of my countries-- something they experienced when they went to the Taj Mahal, something they read in an article online because no one reads the newspaper anymore--they become a Magda. And it hurts. 12. It's a good book. The girl on the plane next to me is reading the back cover as it sits turned upside down on my lap, spine pressed open. 13. I am wondering how long until we land. 14. I am picking at my cuticles 15. I do not want to Uber home from the airport but I am thinking that it is going to be too late to take public transportation alone right now 16. I don't actually think that Uber is much safer but I've never hearted of Anyone I know getting h mugged in one and That at least provides some sense of comfort. 17. I wrap my ring finger around my little finger and press the pad of my pinky against that of my thumb. The plane roars as it begins its descent. My fingers quicken. With my middle finger I rub rapidly at the tiny piece of skin that pokes out from between my nail and the nail bed it hurts. There is a cuticle on my thumb that is not so close to the nail. It would hurt less I know. I keep rubbing my pinky. The plane hits ground with a sharp thud and my hand, ring finger still wrapped around my pinky, shoots out to the chair in front, unsuccessfully trying to absorb the shock. I will be back at school soon. Things will start moving again soon. I am worried. I am scared. I still do not know what I am doing there. The plane slows to a stop and my middle finger goes back to rubbing my pinky. The girl next to me straightens her back as if to nudge me out of my seat. I settle back and continue to rub my pinky. We're the very last row on the plane, we'll be waiting anyway. I can't tell if my pinky has stopped stinging or by now I am just used to the pain. 18. I am eating dried mangoes (the unsweetened kind like I like) as I wait for the crowd around my baggage claim carousel to disperse. People swarm toward the silver roundabout trying to grab there bags and get out of here. It's okay that I can't push forward. I have time. People breathe down each others necks standing on tip toes , eyes trained on the little hole that vomits up bags searching for that purple ribbon or orange tag that distinguishes their bag from everyone else's. Its okay. Im in no rush. 19. An old man in a thick red coat sits next to me flanked on the other side by a young girl in a hoodie. He is telling her that everyone else is dressed much more warmly. Is she sure she will be okay. She rolls her eyes and says she is fine. My chest swells up no one is fine for our winters. They're the kind of winters that make your bones feel cold. They're the kind of cold that seeps through woolen socks and pinches at any inch of bare skin. I'm proud of my ability to sustain these winters. I'm an immigrant. I'm not used to this weather. 20. I decide to take the bus home. It'll take lo ref but I've got time plus last time I ran into a friend on the bus. 21. I watched a little boy on the bus draw a peace sign in the condensation on window. I smiled as he slid his little finger back and forth
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tweefunk · 8 years
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Fuckin’ things man.
IDK, my BFF Jill? I want to write nice things I really. I don’t like being a negative Nancy.
The Orwells-Terrible Human Beings
4/10
Eh. Dangerous sexuality only works as an aesthetic when it's tragically hip and elegantly disheveled. See all hyped indie-rock from 2001-2005.
When a bunch of gangly-ass white eggheads from the suburbs consciously re-create it a decade late(r) as a marketing ploy it's just nauseating.
Unfortunately, this isn't that entertainingly awful. It's worse. Boring.
Suicide Silence-S/T
3/10
Suicide Silence attempts what other metalcore acts have done more successfully; transition to an accessible mainstream rock sound and audience. It worked for BMTH and ADTR, but here it just further accentuates that Suicide Silence is a one-trick pony.
The terrible lead single “Doris” set the bar low and became an instant meme, but unfortunately, it’s one of the comparatively bright spots on this underwhelming record. 
Suicide Silence’s attempts at a radio-rock crossover sound come across like a garage band stumbling through bad Deftones covers at their first practice. The sheer ineptitude, combined with the fact that a label was even willing to release this, is astounding.
This mediocrity (to put it mildly) casts the remnants of Suicide Silence’s old deathcore sound in an unfairly favorable light. The brief forays into competence provide welcome relief.
I expect a severe course correction on their next release.
Dirty Projectors-S/T
2/10
Let’s just get this out of the way early. Dave Longstreth is exceptionally talented. He possesses an Ivy League music degree, and it shows. His understanding of melody, harmony, and tonality is nearly unparalleled in pop music, and I’m just some jackass with a tumblr page.
I guess now is as good a time as any to admit (if you couldn’t figure it out for yourself) that I don’t review music in an objective, structural sense. I review music in a subjective, what-does-it-all-mean, how-does-this-relate-to-the-culture-at-large, how-does-this advance-the-medium/genre kinda way. I don’t get into the nuts and bolts of production, or cadences, or harmonic structures unless it’s distracting from the overall message of the product. 
Take punk for example. No one would ever mistake the Ramones for virtuosos, but you would be an idiot to write them off since pretty much all mainstream rock since the late 70′s owes at least a foundational aesthetic to them.
Speaking of punk, (SEGUE!) the first Dirty Projectors album anyone cared about was 2007′s Rise Above the post-modern circle jerk in which the group re-imagined (read: drained of all life, and ignored the cultural context behind...) Black Flag’s 1981 opus. The ironic, self-satisfied condescension of a bunch of literal art-school rejects layering dense fussed-over harmonies onto songs that were imagined as blinding, cathartic rage against both internal emotional and external structural oppression is still nauseating a decade later.
Some dipshit tried to fight me in college for saying that once. 
While Dirty Projectors are once again a solo act, the same sense of narcissistic genre-superiority is still alive and kicking. Except now there is nice dollop of nice-guy woe-is-me misogyny AND a desperate attempt to fit in with the kids and their hippity-hop. In “Up in Hudson,” Longstreth whines “Now I'm listening to Kanye on the Taconic Parkway/riding fast/And you're out in Echo Park/blasting 2Pac/drinking a fifth for my ass.” As you might know, this record is about the breakup of Longstreth and his lover/bandmate Amber Coffman. The above lyric might not be so gross if it weren’t for the fact that opening lines of the record are “I don't know why you abandoned me/You were my soul and my partner.” Well, I’m sure your whiny victim mentality didn’t have anything to do with it.
This tack continues as Longstreth continues to make not-so-subtle jabs at the moral and artistic credibility of his ex. Returning to the opening track, Longstreth delivers this particularly pissy kiss-off: “What I want from art is truth/What you want is fame/Now we'll keep 'em separate/And you keep your name”
Taking this line in context of his east-west dichotomy (LA a symbol of fake plasticity and NY is gritty realism) and the long standing truism that women in the performing arts are often viewed as superficial entertainers providing fun escapism whilst the men get on with such lofty things like “Real” Art, Objectivity, Reason, and Truth.
And in a roundabout way this bring me to my major gripe with the cult of Dirty Projectors and hipsterdom in general. It’s no secret that I grew up as disciple of the early 2000′s pop-punk and emo scene, which has rightly been critiqued as cesspool of vengeful, beta-male “nice-guy” revenge-misogyny. Say Anything’s “Every Man Has A Molly” is perfect example of this with lines like “Molly Connolly ruined my life/I thought the world should know.” 
However, I would argue that Say Anything’s treatment of the subject is more palatable since Max Bemis seems to be capable of self-reflection and critique. In contrast, every time Dave Longstreth comes to close to admitting a fault, it comes caked in backhanded sarcasm since he knows he has to pay lip service to being magnanimous.
And now I turn on the critics: Why the fuck is it ok for an effeté ninny (oh the beautiful irony) to spew this venom, but when a bunch of skate rats in a garage whine about girls ignoring them, it’s an affront to music and good taste? At least the latter group can have a sense of humor about themselves and their genre. But go ahead and lionize the 30-something Yale grad pandering to modern production trends in a desperate bid for self-aggrandizing relevance.
However, as my rating shows, this record isn’t all bad. The mid-album ballad “Little Bubble” is actually quite beautiful and one of the few moments where Longstreth allows his mask to slip and recognizes that this is maybe, partially, his fault.
And lastly, can we laugh at that album art? It’s a fucking broken Nutter Butter.
Thundercat-Drunk
7/10
If you’re into jazz or funk, this essential listening. Thundercat is an incredible musician and his songwriting manages to be hilarious and personal at the same time.
Seriously, one of singles is about Goku. Unfortunately, it gets a little noodly at times, but if you’ve enjoyed his work with Flying Lotus and Kendrick Lamar, definitely check this out.
Also, the guest appearances from Kenny Loggins and Michael McDonald may be final confirmation that the yacht-rock aesthetic is being revived. 
Sun Kil Moon-Common as Light and Love are Red Valleys of Blood
9/10
Anyone who follows my writing knows that one of my biggest complaints about records is that they’re too long, so with a running time of over two hours, I should probably hate this.
Not so.
Mark Kozelek does not make songs, or by extension records, in any traditional sense. Since 2012′s Among the Leaves, he has slowly transitioned away from folky songs about mundane happenings in his life, to creating backing tracks to accompany dramatic readings of his diary.
Ok, that’s an oversimplification, but on many tracks here he drops al pretense to lyricism and recites letters, or just recounts what he was doing on a particular. Right down to giving us the exact date and the entreé he ate for dinner.
On a sonic level, the record moves away from the classical guitar stylings of the last few albums, and bases the sound around hypnotic bass lines and synth textures.
I’m really not doing a good job of selling this, but there’s something disarming about a man who has long ago achieved his place in the music world giving absolutely no thought whatsoever into sales, critical appeasement, or fan expectations.
With the exception of critics, none of this seems to be motivated by angst or spite, but rather from an intense desire to document all that he feels and thinks.
It’s almost Chekovian in a way. The droll observations on daily occurrences, and in some cases, dubious urban legends, allow for the profundity of the human condition to be put on full display.
CALALARVOB works because it takes the listener on a journey of discovery, not only of the world around them, but their own soul as well. If you’re willing to follow Kozelek down the (long, twisting) rabbit holes he regularly detours down, you’ll be in for a treat. 
The only sections that fall flat are Kozelek’s anti-technology rants. He spends so much time mocking smartphone users, that his very valid criticisms of the political climate or music industry circle-jerks at SXSW can get buried under his admittedly self-aware curmudgeonliness. 
This record will drain you with blunt depictions of the world’s horror, and build you up with a steadfast commitment to love and joy wherever you can find it.
Strap in, it’s gonna be a hell of a ride.
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