#this is also something i'm doing to recover from childhood trauma this can apply to many things <3

[uncanny-tranny]

I think something that can be unironically helpful as a trans person is reclaiming the childhood you didn't get.

I didn't have the childhood I wanted - the one I needed - and now as an adult, I am honouring who I never got to be. I'm doing all the stuff kid me never felt he could do for fear of being unloved. I'm setting my child self free, and it's leading me to accepting not only my past but my present and my transness.

However it looks for you, whatever feels safest for you, honour your child self. They did the best they could, just like you are now.

[nongshiina]

I'M NOT A ROBOT: Human Connections

Synopsis

Kim Min Kyu is a rich young man who is allergic to human beings due to a trauma from his childhood. Due to his condition, he has never dated a girl. However, he experiences the joys of falling in love for the first time when he meets Jo Ji Ah, a girl who claims to be a robot.

Reading only the synopsis does not sound like a special story, in fact I thought that myself and left it in the first chapter, but some time later (after the internet crammed me with ads from the series) I started to see it again from the second chapter and I find it too attractive, but let's talk about the true theme of the series because that's what you're here for, is not it?

This k-drama is not only about the girl pretending to be a robot, but about the effects that it has on Kim Min Kyu, who thanks to different traumatic events develops an allergy to human beings, which despite being a mental illness affects you so much that you could die if you have contact with another human and does not apply your medicine on time, this disease has made it impossible for you to relate and develop your emotions healthily.

Ahji3 (Jo Ji Ah) becomes his connector to the outside world, opening the doors to new experiences and his own emotions that had been repressed, she gives him the security of always being by his side and loving him for being his master, she becomes in his cure to be the first human (in 15 years) to have his affection and closeness, that promise of fidelity and the ability to take care of him is what makes her be considered the "Treasure" of his master, who does what impossible to keep her by his side.

"A relationship is to plant roots in someone's heart"

On the other hand Ji Ah is attracted by the innocence and sincerity of Min Kyu, besides being amazed to know facets of him unknown by others, her bond becomes stronger as soon as she can discover about her past and the circumstances that led to that state, knowing that the cause of his illness was a betrayal she is committed to be the support and confidence that he needs to face their fears, even with the guilt of also being deceived, his desire to be sincere increases together to his affection for him.

We realize that Min Kyu's feelings for Ahji3 are romantic when in his date with Ri El tries to replicate moments previously lived with Ahji3, his unconscious desire that his robot be human leads him to seek to recreate feelings and emotions with his platonic love , he feels disappointed at not being able to feel the same and even better with Ri El, since that's the way it should be, inside his logic it does not make sense to be shaken by a robot and not by a human, it's supposed to be with Ri El should be better .

"It was because of you, it was because you were by my side.I'll buy you new batteries, from the ones that last an eternity, stay with me ... forever ... until I die, now you are my most valuable treasure."

The confusion of Min Kyu reaches its peak with the kiss, it is his first kiss and awakens useless feelings to be directed towards someone who can not feel, at that moment the promise that made it special for him loses all its meaning, because for Min Kyu it does not help that she is with him because she is programmed for it, he begins to question all her words and actions and judging them as what they are supposed to be: lies, since they lack feeling and intention, all this frustrates him, again, it makes him try to get away from her by not being able to hold his heart and contemplate the impossibility of his feelings being reciprocated, he ends up accepting his love and comes to the conclusion that probably nobody else will ever wake up a feeling so deep in he, but it is still useless to love an object so he determines that it is time to restart Ahji3, thus breaking forever and once and for all the link between them.

After a date in which he enjoys his love for Ahji3 for the last time and without remorse, he says goodbye between tears and restarts it, thus erasing every memory. He gives her the necklace inherited from his mother as a symbol of his love (Important detail) 

Ji Ah is replaced by the real Ahji3.

Ji Ah also loves him but when he realizes that revealing his true identity could harm him, he decides to walk away, however painful it may be, ignoring his own desire to stay by his side at all costs and breaking the promise.

"There is one more thing I want you to keep in your memory. I love you"

Min Kyu realizes that he made a mistake by restarting the Ahji3 operating system and does everything possible to return his relationship to what it was before, but it seems impossible, and it is, so with a new perspective, having understood that he lost to his treasure and he will never recover it, renounce Ahji3 once and now, forever.

"I was happy every moment I spent with you"

Then Ji Ah and Min Kyu meet and he clings to her, following his old habit of looking for Ahji3 in other people, with the difference that this time he seems to have found her, after spending some time together and talking about his memories with Ahji3 she feels that Ji Ah can recover something of what he lost, he also finds it fascinating to see her eat, tremble from cold and sleep, things she always wanted to see in the robot.

The whole experience of having Min Kyu close again makes Ji Ah's wounds reopen and hurt, it hurts so much that he decides it's time to leave the country, takes his bags and leaves, but not before stopping at the beach to mourn to let off steam to later be discovered by Min Kyu wearing the collar and here things get out of control.

Min Kyu almost died, as he suddenly discovered that the only being in the trust also betrayed him, this made him go into crisis and his illness suddenly worsened.

Ji Ah does the impossible to regain her trust and be forgiven, and now, driven by her love and with nothing to lose she clings to him, for days or even weeks she was rejected, but she gets Min Kyu to agree to have a sincere conversation with her and he manages to understand that even though she lied about her identity and nature, her feelings were real, she forgives and officially becomes a couple.

Then comes the legal battle for Ahji3, but that explains the series better than me. 

"Only one person, only one person is enough to keep someone going"

Happy ending ladies and gentlemen.

 This K-Drama is about the links, or better let's say "Connections" (You know, to play the word with the theme of robots and that) about how they are created, lost and strengthened until they become indestructible, as people far from the world and reality as Min Kyu can learn to relate and love, it only takes time, trust and affection, it also shows us how the most unexpected people can become "treasures" that shine for their personality, in the end that's what matters, right? Woman or robot equal Min Kyu loves Ji Ah.

Do you notice that every time something happens between them, that light appears? For me it is the physical representation of the moments in which the connection is strengthened, each of those moments is important for the relationship.

Personal valuation: 8/10

It is a beautiful K-Drama, both in history and visually, although it can be fairly predictable does not fall into clichés as the losing protagonist and the CEO who treats it badly, everything is very well justified and leaves no loose ends, only that personally the end did not leave me completely satisfied, it could be much more beautiful in my opinion.